tallslenderguy

I was scared to death, i hired a ridiculously expensive lawyer who dealt with stuff like this all the time. It took a year to go to court and in that time the arresting officer actually apologized to me for arresting me. The attorney general at the time was very conservative and instructed his attorney to go for blood, but the judge pretty much laughed at him and asked my attorney "what do you want to do?" to which my attorney did a sorta "well shucks" move and put it back in the judges court who then reduced it to a misdemeanor of "indecent exposure." The thing is, there was no "exposure," it was just a conversation where i asked the cop if he wanted to fuck me. I was so relieved to have it reduced, i didn't even consider the judgement. So, it is on my record and as a healthcare provider, i have to explain it to every employer who ever interviews me. I've found that everyone is pretty understanding, but it is embarrassing to have to explain it. If i were the person i am today, i would have made a lot of noise... but i was married and scared then. Which was part of my point, culture for many of us who are pre social acceptance of gay people was different. Many of us were ashamed and felt compelled to hide, so we didn't have a chance to be young and gay.

Wow, some really great thoughts here... from everyone, so i couldn't decide who to "quote." Another angle to this is many of us witnessed a gay sexual revolution, while younger guys have been born and grown up post 'revolution.' So to speak. i know things are not perfect, but things have really changed a lot in my life time. i got arrested in 1998 for cruising an undercover vice cop pretending to be gay to entrap gay guys. i was charged with a felony using a earth 1900's law that made fucking with a guy a felony. This was in Virginia, but even there this wouldn't happen today. I was married to a woman for 31 years, but knew from age 12 that i am attracted to guys. Grew up in a religious culture, but even regular culture saw gay guys as "sick." Homosexuality was only removed from the APA list of disorders in 1973. I remember going to the library at 12 and trying to figure things out, all the medical books said i had a disorder and my religion told me i was going to hell if i "chose" to live this way. All this to say, i think if you are part of the older generation, you've likely had a lot to undo in order to find self acceptance. I didn't actually accept myself for who i am till 2006. I did a lot of processing all those years, so my self acceptance is very thorough, but i did miss out on being able to go through the normal phases of development. I think there is some real truth to the notion of older guys going through a puberty of sorts when they finally feel free to accept their self. I don't think the idea of "feeling like a young man trapped in an old mans body" is strange or unusual at all because i think in a way, it can be true. I get mixed reviews this age, and am surprised at the number of younger people who seem to flirt with me, but i am careful not to cross a line. Most of my sex is anonymous cruising, and that's still pretty easy to get, but am getting more rejection now too which i attribute to age.

Yeah, i've encountered a few... i just think they are immature and petty. i've been at ABS where a guy will walk through and close the door next to the rooms with guys in them so incoming guys will think they are occupied... in order to direct traffic to them. Personally i think tactics like that are really childish.

@ drscorpio. lol, yeah, i noticed the 21 year old is really 27 now. @ bbcunthole: Not "everyone." ? For me getting fucked is way more about the attitude and the energy of the Top and the chemistry between us. i had a FB with a 2" cock (not exaggerating) and was always impressed that He could even fuck with it, but He used to breed me beautifully and i developed a great deal of affection for Him. The primary thing i get from a Top is His drive and desire to connect and leave something of Himself inside of me, and i am not just talking cocks and cum. A Top can 'mark' a bottom with a part of Himself in so many different ways, many of those ways can be emotional as well as physical. i love receiving a Mans pleasure, desire, creativity into me, and that is what i love most about being Topped, it's that transference of desire and pleasure from Top to bottom that is magical to me.

The practice of going on and off of meds also facilitates the development of resistant strains of HIV.

i think i understand what you are getting at. As you note, it's the notion that: "...we all have the right to do our own thing...." i too have noticed there is a segment of guys, "chasers" who, for whatever reason want to be POZ. i've tried to understand this, and do think i understand some guys who chase, but not all. But i don't relate to chasing at all. i have no desire to have a disease (any) and was actually at an appointment to get on PreP when i found out i am POZ. There is apparently, a segment of guys who are POZ and not on meds. Some want the 'power' to infect others, some just want to be POZ. i can sort of wrap my mind around their explanations, but cannot wrap my emotions around it. i don't think it's a black and white topic that lends itself to grouping guys into neat little groups, though we sure try lol. Ultimately i think it is an individual thing, that there are some guys who have romanticized what it means to be POZ, or even have AID's, but i suspect there are very few people who when faced with the realities of AID's would actually want it. But on the other hand, i don't doubt such people exist, i just don't think they're a huge group and the nurse in me would try and get them on meds.

For me the "draw" of a dark room is the combination of anonymity and the general readiness of guys to have sex. If the room is truly dark (so many are not), there's pretty much only one purpose for being there: sex. i am looking to eliminate the visual component of sense (i have done the same with a blindfold). Our tastes and biases are effected by what we see and not seeing gives our other senses a chance to exercise without visual distraction. Also, visual often means the difference between acceptance and rejection... a lot less rejection going on in a dark room lol. At a bath house it's so common for guys to continuously walk around, sizing each other up and not doing anything. Or there's always a group of guys that seems to get rejected or is alone. How often to we miss out on the other aspects of sex (e.g. touch, sound, attitude) because we don't even get to that place because of what we see?

i have a Dom friend who casually suggested i get rid of my cock and balls. The suggestion both excited and scared the fuck out of me, at this point more excited by the idea and all the mind fuck behind it. It did spur a search where i found this vid and gotta say i find this incredibly hot. i'm pretty surprised at the orgasm and cum this guy produces without actual sperm from his balls, but he is obviously experiencing an orgasm (money shot is around 2:10).

Ditto those who say what's important is that sex is consensual. Sexual assault is a violent act, whether you're related or not. As an adult, i learned (from my mom) that my dad had been sexually assaulted by his uncles and dad. i never met my grandfather on my dads side because my dad wanted nothing to do with him. my dad apparently did not consent to any of it and it did him harm. i have never had sex with a family member, but had a major crush on a cousin from about 8 years old who was one year older than me. When i was 15 i went to live at His house for about 10 months, the house was small and i slept in a sleeping bag on the floor next to his bed. i was sexually inexperienced, but knew i wanted Him, on a couple of occasions i turned up the control on His electric blanket (it was on the floor next to me) hoping He would get hot and take His covers off. Nothing ever happened between us and i haven't seen Him for years, but i still have sexual dreams about Him where we are both teens and getting it on.

According to the National Institute of Health (NIH) : A disease of the immune system due to infection with HIV. HIV destroys the CD4 T lymphocytes (CD4 cells) of the immune system, leaving the body vulnerable to life-threatening infections and cancers. Acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (AIDS) is the most advanced stage of HIV infection. To be diagnosed with AIDS, a person with HIV must have an AIDS-defining condition or have a CD4 count less than 200 cells/mm³ (regardless of whether the person has an AIDS-defining condition).

There are some great responses about resistance, i appreciate some of the well informed on this site. i am on Truvada/Tivicay regimen. i (stupidly) missed a dose of Truvada and two of Tivicay recently (i had forgotten to refill and it was a weekend where my pharm was closed). While worrying, i did some searches and found this info: "The total amount of nonadherent time with HIV antiretroviral therapy over the course of a month affects the risk of having a detectable viral load starting at 14 days, but an interruption of just 2 days will cause the viral load to rise, according to research presented here at the 6th International Conference on HIV Treatment and Prevention Adherence, sponsored by the International Association of Physicians in AIDS Care (IAPAC)." HIV is an aggressive, nasty virus, i can still remember watching my brother die from AID's during the 80's, it wasn't pretty or sexy (by most standards). i'm a critical care nurse and i deal with disease and death all the time, AID's (that can develop from unsuppressed HIV) is one of the worst i have ever seen, i sure as hell don't want it. Meds have been around long enough now that have a whole new generation of guys who haven't seen the same issues we encountered when the virus first took hold. i think we are so very fortunate to be living in an era where we have meds that are generally safe and can keep the virus suppressed. Taking a pill or two a day is nothing compared to what guys had to do when treatment was still being developed and there were side effects and lots of meds to remember. As to cost, as with all meds that will eventually go down... as long as the older meds remain effective and can make it to the time when they can be made as generics. Meanwhile, here's info on assistance programs to help if you cannot afford meds.

i try to adjust to the Top when it cums to sucking or finishing. i find different Tops like different things. Some like lots of pressure with friction, others like my mouth to be like a cum sloppy pussy, so i try to adjust based on Their response. i never use my hands on the shaft, but love to cup the Tops balls in my hand and touch them in a way where He responds showing what He likes. When the Top starts to shoot, i typically carress the balls to encourage complete emptying. i love to feel the Top shooting at the back of my throat, so i typically take His shaft balls deep where i can feel His cock expand and shoot initially. i synch with His shooting and between spurts, use my tongue at the base and underside of His cock to to milk His cum upward and out, adjusting the pressure to His sensitivity. Some guys want Their bottom to keep stimulating, others don't, so i try to read what He wants, adjusting my sucking and tonguing to His responses so i can keep His cock and extend His pleasure so He doesn't want to withdraw.

ok, my bad. Just saw that the moderator included what i wrote as an entry under my first thread. Didn't seem a similar topic to me, but he didn't delete what i wrote, he copied and pasted it under the first thread.

Yes, not talking about breeding zone, what happened was on Poz.com. They don't charge either. Not a big deal, but it did discourage me from further participation. The two posts were completely different, the only "similarity" was both had the words "Truvada" and "Tivicay," it did not seem that he had even read the second post. It feels kind of intrusive when someone can just delete what you say, it wasn't offensive and didn't break any rules, he just deemed it in "the same sense," but it wasn't at all. oh well, weird.

I ventured over to POZ this morning, signed up and made two posts. The first was because i was worrying about missing some med doses and feeling kind of stupid about it at the same time. i take Truvada and Tivicay. i use a 7 day pill box and forgot that i hadn't ordered my refill (13 hour work shifts addled my brain). i realized on my first day off after a week and called in to the automated refill system Friday night. The pharmacy takes 2 days to get my meds, and is closed on Sundays, so i ended up missing 2 Tivicay doses and one Truvada (i had an extra one of those). i did a search and found this article noting viral load increase after only 2 days of missed meds. Mostly i was just feeling dumb and a little worried. A moderator responded with some encouragement and i think what was an attempt at humor, then he made a second post after the first where he said more of the same and stated that: "adherence for most doctors is defined as taking 95% of the medication or more timely..." Not sure where he got that info from, especially after linking an article that states: "Treatment adherence means taking the correct dose of your medications every time, exactly as prescribed by your health care provider or recommended by your pharmacist. "" In the second post the moderator also informed me that he had "...removed your other thread as its a duplicate or at least in the sense its tge same topic". The second thread was a post about symptoms i am having (leg, both joint and muscular) and asking if anyone else had had similar symptoms. Trying to figure if this is a possible med side effect or coincidental and unrelated to my HAART. It was a totally unrelated thread to the first one. i sent a comment to POZ, and would have responded to the moderator in the thread, but have no confidence that he would not remove it too. Really felt shut down and surprised at the lack of professionalism, not sure i'll be going back. i am disappointed and feel muzzled by the whim of one person (he was cute though lol).

As a poz guy who lost my brother to AID's in the 80's, i'm very grateful for the advances of medical science when it comes to treating and preventing HIV. i am happy to see pop up ads on sites like Grindr, encouraging guys to get tested and other ads informing about PreP. When i became informed, i actually went to a doctor with the intent of getting on PreP and found out i was poz and pretty much immediately went on meds and am now undetectable. i'd like to see the disease eradicated. If you have ever seen someone dying of AID's, it's pure, unadulterated suffering and ultimately debilitating. To me debilitating=not having sex, so i wonder at those who chase and purposely do not treat the infection? i think that their is a disconnect about the ultimate results. i get that some people are suicidal, but that doesn't strike me as a good or sexy thing, nor does purposely trying to give someone a disease (of any sort).

Like several others here, i've lost count. Pretty sure i've had repeats at the abs, though i couldn't be sure since it's through a gh, just a feeling? Then there are all the guys who cum to my house. i'd say about 95% of my sex has been anonymous, me face down and naked on my bed or in an abs, or under a stall wall, butt many of the guys i get to know when they message me on a regular basis to unload. i'd have to says hundreds have been more than once though.

i think the love and relationship is a complex topic, i have appreciated reading the thoughtful replies. i particularly resonate with CigarBear68's comment: "Think of this guy as a mirror reflection-...." i too believe that we can see ourselves in the mirror of relationship. i think it can get pretty involved discerning or fleshing out the reflection though. For instance, as CigarBear points out, we often 'see' "what we want to see... what we want to feel." This strikes me as a keenly insightful point. Another part of our reflection we can see in relationship is the feedback we get from that person. I.e., people tell us what they think of us using words and also unspoken responses to us that give us an idea of how they think and feel about us. But that feedback is not necessarily a 'riflection' of reality, it is their particular reflection. i think of relationships as a trip through a house of mirrors. Ever been to one of those at a carnival or amusement park? They are often comprised of mirrors of different shapes that give one a distorted reflection. That's not a perfect analogy, but the point is, no one is a perfectly clean and undistorted mirror, so the reflection we get demo others might be from a clear spot in the mirror, or a spot smudged with chocolate (or vomit). What we 'see' might be on them, not on us. i have done a total retake on my ideas of relationship. i was in a very traditional/religious marriage (with a woman) for 31 years. For me, religion was a poisonous trap that kept me from self acceptance. i too was a cheater, and hated myself and every moment i did it. i think that is an awful and destructive way to live. The "trap" for me was the notion that being gay was "bad, sick, sin," and that i could change. Once i came to a place of self acceptance, i was able to be honest with everyone else about who i am and i actually love life now. After divorcing (my former wife didn't want to be with me after i told her i was not able to change) i at first i thought i might be bi because i'd been with a woman all those years and we had an active sex life. i've had plenty of opportunities to be with women since divorcing (and before), but my former wife is the only woman i have ever been with. On the other hand, i've been with more guys than i can count, so i identify as "gay." Even though i have a pretty static sexual identity now (i.e., i like guys), my journey has caused me to totally re-examine my ideas of relationship. i believe most of our ideas of relationship come from a heteronormative, patriarchal culture. So called "traditional values." i do not fit either of those profiles, and my values are not a part of those traditions, so trying to have a relationship using those molds doesn't fit either. i've had one time connections with a guy that involved some really deep emotional responses, where i had to bite my tongue to keep from blurting out: "i love you" lol. And even if i did blurt in a moment of passion, i still know better than to automatically equate the experience with asking for His hand in marriage. my point is, i think a lot of our ideas and values about love and relationship are not born out of the reality of who we are and what we need/want, but many of those ideas come from and belong to the dominant culture. Culture is changing, and those who have been muzzled are now able to bark, have their input, but i think we are just at the beginning of that evolution and that a lot of what we accept as 'natural' has just been culturally programmed in.

It would help if you went into some detail about what you are guilty about and what you fear? I can imagine all types of each that are different and unrelated.

i get that the onus to keep ones hole clean and ready is, generally, on the bottom. But i have a few thoughts on the topic and wonder what others think as well? The most challenging thing i encounter as a bottom is spontaneous fucking. i have several FB's who will contact me out of the blue and want to cum breed me. As a bottom, i can't help but wanna instantly spread my legs and grant access to the Tops i love, but the reality is, i'm not always prepped and that takes time. i'm particularly paranoid. i've never had 'an accident" and always want my Top happy when using my pussy, so i typically go beyond the call of duty (so to speak), when cleaning out. Some Tops get the need for prep time, others seem oblivious and get impatient or abandon the idea if a bottom isn't instantly ready. Some seem to glaze over when a bottom hints at having to prepare. Some obviously haven't a clue what's involved in the process. Then there's those few who do not care and are even turned on by the spontaneity and not worried about what they encounter. Bottom line is, while the onus may be on the bottom to be prepped, it isn't a magical or instant process and it sure would help if all Tops understood this. It's not unusual for me (or lots of bottoms i would imagine) to go the whole day not eating, just to be prepared and available immediately. Butt i'm in heat a lot and that is not sustainable behavior lol

i love this. The huge turn on from the start of this thread is the idea of a Top making me piss myself, especially if i don't see it coming. For me, it's like an orgasm of sorts, the Top is pushing all the right buttons and then all of the sudden a one is turned all the way on and i am powerless and piss. To me, when a Top pisses in me or makes me piss, it's kind of like another form of orgasm. The Top has the power over His orgasm and the bottoms, which just reinforces the whole Top/bottom dynamic to me. The Top loving being in control of His pleasure and the bottoms.

at a gay resort in Palm Springs. Had an anonymous walk in from Grindr, bred me long and hard, twice. He was an awesome fuck and left my hole creamy and me horny. Went across the street to the play room and walked through. There is a 4 room set up in the middle, each room connected on two sides to two of the rooms, large 1 foot round holes in the center. i went into one of the rooms and saw a guy getting plowed through a gh. i went into the next room and saw the Top plowing him and reached through and stroked His thigh, then presented my ass. He ended up sliding into my ass and breeding it (which i'm kinda embarrassed and ashamed for taking the Top from that other guy). Apparently while this other guy was breeding me, 2 other guys walked into His booth and when He was done, each slid in and bred me. When they were done, i was getting ready to leave and this sweet black guy walked into my booth, motioned me to turn around, felt my cum sloppy hole and slid His cock in and didn't take long to add His load. Then everyone was gone, so i left.

Yeah, sort of. Not like she walked in on me, i admitted cheating. It was awful, the worst time of my life. i married young and was very religious, so i believed being gay is a choice and is wrong. i knew i liked guys since about the age of 12, but i became religious at about age 15. In part, my attraction to religion was because i thought 'God' would change me, or at least give me the ability to not act on my desires. When i was 19, i stood up in my church and "confessed" my attraction to guys, my wife to be was present. But in those days (the 70's), people still didn't talk about this stuff much, especially in the culture i lived in. About a week after i married, i brought up the topic again to my new wife (i.e., my attraction to guys), and she was devastated. i learned much later that she had gone to our pastor (a woman), considering annulment. Apparently they discussed me and decided i wasn't gay, just confused (a still held view in many religious circles about gay people). i had naively thought she would be an ally in my fight against my sexuality, but realized i was still alone. i married right after turning 21, the first time i cheated was at age 27. i went so far as to separate from my wife after it happened, telling her that i was gay and not going to change. i didn't tell her at the time that i had cheated, big mistake. After 5 months of separation, we got back together. i had two kids and had not yet escaped my ideas about "God" and being gay, both of which were twisted into knots in my brain and emotions. It took me years to untie those knots. Meanwhile, Pandora's box had been opened, and there was no closing it. Hook up sex with guys became my only means of self affirmation (a fact i didn't figure out till many years later). It was like an addiction. i'd go to hook up almost in tears, begging and pleading with "God" in my mind to help me not do it. i hated myself for cheating and lying, it was all very rotten. i hated hurting, devastating, someone i love. The good news is, after way too long i processed through all the muck of my upbringing and religious culture. i joke that being gay saved me from "God." my sexuality was not something i could change or deny, it was a reality that contradicted my beliefs. Going through all of that gave me a lot of understanding. i can sympathize with just about anyone now. It's kinda funny that i am a whole lot more moral now than when i was religious. Living honestly is living in reality. if you are lying to your most intimate relationship, what do you really have? You're not only deceiving that person, you are deceiving your self. i am alone now, divorced. my former wife and kids have pretty much disowned me (they are still part of the religious culture). They say they "love me, and are praying for my repentance." That hurts, but i understand the web they are trapped in. It took me most of my adult life to get free of that web, and i had a good reason (i.e., the reality of being gay lol), they don't have such a reality to force them to look at their beliefs. i am one of the most peaceful, happiest people i know, and it all comes from accepting and living honestly with myself and others.

I think Yes, i mentioned this too earlier on, about how some cultures did start marrying at younger ages, mentioning the "vigin Mary was likely 14 when God insemminated her, making God a pedophile by todays standards." i think morality is largely a cultural construct. When it comes to morality (or just about anything) i prefer science to what a priest or religious book says. Just because our, or any other culture, has accepted something as 'normal,' doesn't necessarily make it a good idea. There was a time that doctors bled people as a treatment, or removed a big chunk of their lungs and rib cage as a treatment for tuberculosis (the list goes on). i like science because, at its best, it acknowledges that this is the best knowledge that we have so far. As far as we know, life is infinite, so how can we know anything absolutely? To me the best bet is to take the approach: "this is what i believe right now, based on the evidence, but that could change as we discover more...." In that vein, check this out: The rational part of a teen’s brain isn’t fully developed and won’t be until age 25 or so. In fact, recent research has found that adult and teen brains work differently. Adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the brain’s rational part. This is the part of the brain that responds to situations with good judgment and an awareness of long-term consequences. Teens process information with the amygdala. This is the emotional part. Given this piece of evidence, should culture be making the age of consent higher vs lower? The age of consent is also the age our culture is willing to send people off to war as well.

no. as a sub bottom, i get the appeal of hypnotism, and the idea of being hypnotized by a Dom i trust is a total turn on for me. But causing harm is never "a good idea." Chasers might argue that that is what they want, and if they purposely go out seeking infection, that is their choice, but it's not choice someone should make for another. in a D/s relationship, both agree to the dynamic, i.e., the sub is using his volition to submit, it isn't unkowningly taken from him. If i suggested i want to sneak into your house and steal everything you own, does that sound like a good idea? you are talking about sneaking in and stealing someones health.