tallslenderguy

i grew up in a conservative religious culture. but just thought i was sick and sinful and resisted my desires. i was attracted to guys as far as i can remember, starting around age 7. Ironically, i took my first load at age 27 onboard a hospital ship that was run by a conservative religious organization. It was in port getting refurbished and i drove to Long Beach CA to help. They bunked me in a room with this really cute guy named "Skip." The rooms were tiny with only a port hole about a foot aeross letting light in. He was a member of the crew and i was just there for one night. i worked on the ship all day and was in bed in the very dark room. He came into the room late, no words, probably didn't know if i was awake or asleep. His bunk was just a few feet from mine, but all you could see was shadows. We commenced to playing a sort of cat and mouse game for hours, each of us on our own bunk turning and making sounds, putting our bodies in suggestive positions, but again, all you could see was shadows... so there was an element of unsureness. After hours, i got up and went to his bunk and he turned his body to offer his cock. i took it into my mouth and sucked him till he shot his load in my mouth. It didn't take long even though i didn't know what i was doing, we were both super horny. After he came, he turned away without a word and went to sleep and i returned to my bunk and slept. When i woke the next morning, he was gone. i was 'in love' lol (hey, it was my first time) and wanted to talk to him. He avoided me and i didn't see him before i left. I returned the next week and was bunked with someone different. I saw him, but he pretended nothing had happened.

i've known, and loved, KptNLine for a long time, we've had a lot of discussion off thread. i don't think i am speaking out of turn to say that i consider him a great friend, but also a source of experience when it comes to D/s dynamic because i know he has been married to a Dom husband for several years and lives a lot of this stuff daily. He is thoughtful, self aware, honest and articulate, so i value his input in discussions. Something i touched on in my post/s and also noticed a few others, like nellie26 noted, is the relationship factor and how it figures in to "endurance." Going back to my first reply, the Dom guy i wrote about was a hook up. We had talked back and forth a bit online, but He wasn't a FB or ongoing relationship. Where He differed was with the connection i felt with Him, before we even met and had sex, that was confirmed and reinforced by our actual meet up and sex. First of all, He was "all Top." i laughed with resonation when i read "(I'm a Dom Top, I hate that versatile shit)" in flacogeder's original post. i personally seek out "all Top" on hook up sites, vs "versatile" or "versatile top." i'll hook with pretty much anyone who wants to breed me, but the guys i feel the deepest connection with are the "all Top" guys, and that "connection" absolutely affects my endurance. i recognized Him as someone i wanted, not just the fuck. Over the course of about 2 hours, He moved me into all sorts of positions and He was obviously into penetrating me as deeply as He could get, position changes seemed to be to facilitate that? He was the quietly verbal and gently assertive, which has the effect of pushing all my submissive slut buttons. i felt every bit of Him the whole time, but didn't get anywhere near "worn out." He had a lot of control over Himself, and pissed inside of me several times as part of the fuck before He came. Piss is not a very good lube, kind of makes for friction that would normally take away from my endurance, but i honestly didn't realize He had pissed in me until the next morning when some of it came out of me. A certain percentage of my experiences has been with guys similar to Him. When i feel that connection, it's so thorough that (i know this may sound corny) it's like we are one and the idea of worn out and needing to recuperate doesn't enter the picture. It is the Top who makes and breaks the connection. After He breaks the connection, i am left with a sort of ambivalence. Yes, i am maybe feeling physically spent sometimes, but even then, also emotionally nurtured. i do feel a sort of, hesitant to use the word "relief"? because i simultaneously feel a void too, like something vital is missing or has been taken away. For me, that identifies a crux of the D/s dynamic (i.e., the D/s dynamic that i appreciate, i know there are plethora types of that dynamic). "Recuperation" has several factors to it for me. i have not ever separated the physical from the rest of me (emotional/mental)... at least, with a guy. i can't take my fuck machine for even a half hour, but a dildo has a different texture than skin, physically speaking, and there is never the emotional/mental connection with a machine, sex is purely mechanical. E.g., i might be able to take it much longer if a Top was operating the machine? i have experienced Tops who used their hand or toys and were so into it that the toy became an extension of Them and i felt connected to Them. Others, it is just mechanical and i tire very quickly. For me, a lot of the answer to Your question keeps going back to You (i.e., the Top). If You make Your bottom cum, he may 'need' (want) to recuperate before even getting fucked. i know there are some Tops who love that dynamic, i.e., they want to fuck a bottom who is already 'worn out' or not horny and just taking it because the Top wants it. Then there is the opposite, where the Top controls the bottoms orgasm and purposely manipulates the bottoms horniness. In that case, i think many (most?) bottoms are going to have a much higher threshold for fucking and can go longer before having to recuperate. That need, would seem to then depend on conditioning (and i think that can be both physical and psychological, but i am talking physical here), at least to some extent? At some point along the way, my hole changed (i bet many bottoms will agree with this). It went from being primarily an organ for elimination to primarily a receptive sex organ. Just the use of my hole for fucking has changed it. Mine opens a lot quicker than it used to and is always a little opened just from having been used so much. Guys who fist and train with large toys can take that to a whole different level. i have barely taken a hand, but imagine guys who regularly take a fist or huge toys would not need to recuperate from getting fucked in the same way? I.e., their endurance would be greater? And that's all physical stuff. Psychological factors can increase physical endurance too. this is getting long lol, i'll stop now

This is where my mind went with the original question, ie, it’s not just a physical endurance question. i love the D/s dynamic for its mental/emotional potential, but find few who explore that area in depth? i think you are hitting the mark when you identify “for the love of men” vs for the love of sex as a point of focus. Sorry at work and typing this on my phone, I have lots of thoughts and feelings on this topic

i don't have a simple answer for this. The last long hard fuck i had was from a Dom guy who told me right up front that He liked to take His time and that it would not be a quick fuck. He went well over an hour, closer to 2. He had a large cock too, about 9. For me, the hardest part is initiation, especially if the Top has a large cock. It's the opening up that can be a challenge, but once i am opened, endurance is less of a question for me. my hole sometimes get's into a opened, yet swollen state that i'd call "hungry." If my hole is wet from cum, precum, lube, spit: "wet," i'm not sure i have found a limit. i need to recover if the Top has fucked me dry. I.e., it's the dry friction that does me in, not the size or stretching or even fucking. As long as i am lubed, i feed off of the Tops energy. If i feel like He is getting tired, i mirror that feeling automatically (not really a choice, just happens). The thing that does me in and requires that i recover is when i cum. Having been on this site for several years, i suspect that's true about a lot of bottoms (and Tops for that matter). I.e., that their fucking equipment can be conditioned to go on for a long time, but cumming seems to be the universal 'off' button.

Hey, thanks for qualifying about not wanting to "come off like an asshole," for me that qualifies you as non-asshole. i completely believe your sincerity in believing you are right, i just think it is like an ethnocentric conclusion. I.e., 'because it is what i know to be true about myself, it is true for everyone.' i think while it is true for you, that doesn't make it true for everyone, because i know it isn't so for me. i'll start by saying if your example of the 7 and 4 inch cock were the only criteria, you are right... i'd choose the 7 lol. But size isn't the only criteria for me and other things really do factor in. If i know both of these Tops and the 4 inch has certain personality traits that i am aware of, i might choose the 4 incher. i'm ridiculously introspective and, consequently, self aware, so i'm confident that i am not in denial lol. i also have no reason to try and convince you, or anyone else, that size is just one of many factors to me, i'm simply being open and honest as part of the discussion. For instance, i had a Dom FB who knew how to get so far into my head that i would choose Him over anyone in a side by side cock comparison. The best way i can explain it is the 'size' of His personality was so huge that it totally penetrated me in a way that a cock alone would not. I have about 40 toys in my toy drawer, and i rarely choose the largest one. There's lots of other factors for me and they all matter, not just size.

Great question!! i love this community, we have some really great discussions here. Reading through the contributions, it's interesting to see the different takes on what constitutes "quality." For me, i guess i lean towards "quality," but "quality" has a quantity element to it? For me, sex is more about the chemistry of desire. The more the Top wants 'it' the more that triggers my desire to give it. For me, it's the attraction of opposites, so the greater the polarity, the greater the attraction. i've also quantified my own need/desire. For me, i'm not just 'bred' by a Tops semen, but also by His penetrating me and what He does to make my hole His. For me, semen is a simple form of a Top making a bottoms hole His (so to speak). i don't see it so much as Him "making it His" as i see/feel He has added a part of Himself to who i am. For me, it's not only semen that has the effect altering me and making me His, but also the Tops energy/desire/expression or how He penetrates me. He can 'mark' me with Himself using His finger, or a toy or anything really, depending on how connected He is to it. i've been penetrated and marked by a Tops words to me. i sometimes wonder if i am looking for quality when doing the quantity thing? i had a Dom hook up once, who even after He came, still had desire and even though He wasn't going to breed me, He managed to make gestures, like casually putting His hand in my pants as we walked to dinner and running His finger down my crack. It was so powerful, i didn't want to be anywhere else. i guess for me, "quality" is an expression of chemistry of opposites. i look for that strong pull of desire and i think that is what i am looking for in quantity?

i really love them on a Top. Feeling a Tops balls sliding between my thighs as He slides in and out makes me wild, and i love the feel of His sack contracting while He shoots His load, His sack and balls up against my taint. On the converse side, my balls often shift up inside of me and sort of disappear. i have a Dom Top who loves that they disappear, He likes that on a bottom.

"Yes, it matters" to you. While you may not "believe anyone who says otherwise," your disbelief doesn't make you correct. i totally believe you when you say it matters to you, wish you'd take me at face value when i say it doesn't and explain why.

Size doesn't matter to me. i have stated this in several threads on this site, but for me the attitude and disposition of the guy i am with is what matters. i've had guys with tiny cocks who i loved because of their need and desire to breed, their love of ass. For me, it's about the connection, physical and emotional, and if a Top can get it in and cum, that's huge to me. Tops who understand and love to fuck with their mind have the biggest cocks in the world as far as i am concerned.

i was going to say "no" and then saw this picture and felt really hot and bothered by it. There's really only a part of the idea of a Top making me pregnant that gets me hot, it's the idea that something of Himself that He puts inside of me permanently alters or marks me. For me, it goes beyond the physical, i have had Tops who have 'impregnated' me with some aspect of their self, it usually if because they've managed to breed me mentally and emotionally and made me pregnant there. i've had Tops who pissed in me and have held and absorbed their piss to the point that when i piss, it is their piss i am 'giving birth' to. i've had other conversations and fantasies with Tops that go along similar lines (aren't allowed to talk about everything here), but the idea is the same.

i've probably answered this before, this thread has been around awhile. so sorry if this is take two (which is not to be mistaken as an apology for taking two). i've taken several cocks over 10 inches, and honestly, anything over 8 or so ends up hitting my 'second sphincter'. mine (i.e., second sphincter) seems delicate and it always hurts when a Tops cock hits it, especially if they keep pounding it at the entry point. Other Tops seem to like getting to that point and beyond, then fucking beyond that point, which is awesome. i love a Top who wants to breed deep, like they're trying to deep throat you going in the lower entry.

i know some will disagree with this (enter the "size queens" lol), but i heartily agree. For me, it's the size of the intent or desire to inseminate that. i've had fb's with cocks that were so small (seemingly <2 inches?), that i actually wondered at their ability to breed (thinking of one guy in particular). This particular guy also had a very large body. He was an anonymous, walk in fb and i always took Him when i was face down. There were a few times when He'd contact me and would voice fear over being able to perform and i was always able to reassure Him (honestly and sincerely) that i considered HIs performance wonderful (because i did). i ended up bonding with Him, even though it was always 'anonymous' hook up sex ( i never actually saw Him). He still has a piece of my heart, which to me is the ultimate breeding and judge of 'cock size.'

lmao. i too am pretty skeptical of any guy who says he has never measured. On the other hand, that may be ethnocentric, transference? More importantly (lol) i have always wondered is where one starts and ends when measuring? Does one measure starting from the taint or the top of the base? The starting point makes a difference. And i often wonder at how rarely one sees a measurement for girth? Some of the most intense (and memorable) breeding i have received came from a Top who didn't have all that much length (6.5 inches?), but was so big around that He literally fucked the pre- cum out of me whenever He fucked me.

i take care of Tina patients on a regular basis... had one my last rotation who was paralyzed on one side from the stroke it caused. i've spent a lot of time trying to understand self destructive behavior. i think we have a lot of pieces to the puzzle, even maybe enough to form the beginning of a picture. i don't think we have all the pieces to the puzzle though, so i don't think it's possible to completely understand. i think at this point it comes down to how we can thwart the behavior in our self, and help others who want to defeat it in their self. i have gone back and forth with moralizing behavior... guilt seems to work for some, not for others? i don't use it, it seems delusional and hypocritical to me. The problem with moralizing is it's pretty easy to find destructive behavior is just about anyone. Morality seems a cultural construct to me. To me it comes down to the cost of 'pleasure' (not a perfect summary word, i know). People using Tina use it because of the pleasure it brings them, but to me, you don't get a great return on your investment. Sort of like jumping out of a plane without a parachute. There is the thrill of flying, but it doesn't last very long. i can come up with all sorts of analogies, but i don't believe the choice to use Tina (or engage in any self destructive behavior) is rational. i believe the choice is based on wanting to create or recreate a feeling. i think that becomes a drive that is not easily overcome with rationale. In my opinion (and that's all it is or is worth lol), one of the more successful methods to overcome destructive behavior is substitution. i think submissivebottom hits on it when he talks about keeping "busy." We also substitute heroin with methadone, or diet Coke for regular Coke or baked potato chips with fried.

i confess i have used cum filled condoms by pushing them and their contents into my hole.

Honestly, for me there is no such thing as "premature ejaculation" from my Top. i'm not meaning to be glib either. i have never been disappointed by a Top who was so turned on that He came fast or even as soon as He slid in. Part of my make up as a bottom is wanting to take, not just a Tops cum inside of me, but i am also 'bred' by His mental and emotional pleasure as well. i'm dead serious. The speed at which He releases Himself into me doesn't detract at all. Having said that, i understand if You want to prolong the experience because you want to. i wonder how much of the cumming quickly is mental/emotional and how much is physical? i'm a total bottom with guys, but have lots of experience as a top from when i was married to a woman (only woman i have ever been with). Early in my marriage, i learned how to make my wife cum before i did. It took time, but i conditioned myself to not cum until i knew she had been satisfied, didn't matter how long, but it helped me learn how much the mind is employed. Of course, the dynamic between two guys, Top and bottom, is probably usually different than a man and woman? i do wonder, why is it important to you to go longer? Are you concerned what the bottom may think? Is it a form of performance anxiety? Is it always the same or have there been times when you have gone longer without a condom?

To the OP question... idk. i hate the notion of indulging in a stereotype, but would be lying if i said i don't have a special place in my heart for black Tops. my experiences with black men have been pretty consistent and it's had the effect of creating a conditioned response in me. Intellectually i understand that that is a stereotype, but emotionally, i am drawn by the hope of experiencing what i have with the majority of black men i have been with. i'm not sure i can explain... and it's not as if i haven't experienced the same with Tops of other color, just not with the same consistency. i almost always feel more than physically bred by the black Tops i have been with. It's like they have bred my soul as well as my body, and i end up feeling a connection, a possession that makes me have to bite my tongue from saying "i love You!!" lol seriously.

If i am talking to a possible hook up, this is one of the pics i often send of my ass. it's actually a dildo with cum lube, but the idea is to give me that just bred by multiple Tops cream pie look

ditto. i've never been turned on by strong smells. i have had more than a few cocks offered through glory holes that smelled of piss or general funk... i always suck them though. If a guy wants His cock taken care of, i want it no matter what.

i've lived alone since getting divorced in '08. So much of my sex life with guys has been anonymous hook up where i almost always host. Most often, it's walk in and i have the perfect set up for it. i have a house in a historic district setting, smallish town (pop. 60k). Guys can park in my driveway and i leave the side gate open for them to come into my back yard. The backdoor to my house is off of a deck in the back yard and leads directly into a powder room that is right across from my bed room, so guys can see me ass up on my bed as soon as they walk in, and can use the bathroom on the way out if they want to clean up. in the summer when its warm, there's been several times when i've been bred on my back yard deck... you can see over the fence, but night time is pretty easy to get away with it.

i almost never see my Top because i am face down on my bed, anonymous walk in... so i don't care how He looks or if He has a pic at all. my pics are all accurate, my body hasn't changed, but my hair and face has aged, so i keep those particular pics current.

Great question. Looks like obviously not just one answer, eh? We all like different stuff. Personally, a Top is always going to get moaning out of me, that's a spontaneous response on my part when taking a cock. When a Top fucks me hard, i will moan louder, with some "ohs" and "ahs" . again, can't help it, and sometimes i bite my mattress. i often grab my mattress in my fists as well. Physically, i try to read my Top and move or squeeze or lie there depending on His response when i try. i'm typically face down on my bed, but if a Top is lying on me, i sometimes reach behind and grab or stroke His ass, but almost always that is to His movement, not me trying to make Him do anything. If it's standing or horsie fuck, i'll reach under and stroke His balls if He is doing a slow deep grind. i always try to get a sense of my Top while we are writing back and forth online. Guys who will not say anything or cannot articulate what they like make me a little crazy sometime, but i'll still take any Top who needs to unload.

this is so fucking Hot to me.

i appreciate the point. The thing i hate about having to prep is how it effects spontaneity. i can't count the number of times a Top has contacted me wanting to breed and i have to tell Him i am not prepped... and most Tops, in my experience, want cleaned out. So often though, the need to breed it NOW, so waiting can sort of take the edge off. i love the idea of a Top just taking me when ever He wants, without having to worry about prepping.

i love the discussions we have on this site!! Reading this got me to consider what it is i feel. While i may not physically want to take a cock after i have cum, boredom never enters in to the picture. For me the feeling is one of disappointment. i enjoy cumming, but it's always tinged with the disappointment of loosing my bitch heat, drive. It would be a whole lot more fulfilling to not cum to make a Top happy than it is to not cum by my own desire to stay in heat... that's kind of like trying to be my own Top.