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Well, there was the UK's worst rapist - [think before following links] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reynhard_Sinaga Videoed it all too, apparently. Perhaps I should write to him for when he gets out...

I feel a bit sorry for the ghosts (at least the main ones mentioned in this thread). They are obviously terrified of something whether and that's making them behave in a way that's weird and peculiar. An example i had was a guy who was a regular fuck but used to fuck me safe - and then chat a bit afterwards. Then one time he decides to fuck me bare. "Yippee" think I. "I like where this is going. And immediately, I did. I got his load". But no. After that he stopped answering all messages, let alone meet up. to give him his due, he got in touch about a year later and agreed to meet for a coffee - where he really said little more than he was sorry. He realised it wasn't very friendly - and I never saw him again. Fine. He obviously loved bb but it terrified him. Whether it was health or reputation, I don't know (and I can live with the implied verdict that I have neither). I don't care - as they saying has it, "people would care less about what people thought of them if they realised how little they do." Taking the example from earlier in the thread I cant imagine, many bosses in this day and age caring that they had a gay colleague. Whatever is going on, it's in their mind, not rational. And what was the fear? An email to the entire department saying "your colleague's been fucking me up the arse"? The reason i feel sorry for them is not just the fear but the sex life. Can you imagine if the closest you got to a fuck was a series of texts and messages followed by an angry lie to pretend it wasn't their fault? That said, fear of what people think is very powerful. The Catholic Church tried to recruit me to the priesthood with a not very subtle message of "become a priest, otherwise you might become gay". The reason I told them where to put it was (a) I don't believe in God and (b) I wanted to get married (how they knew I was gay 10 years before I did is something I'll never know). I suspect many vocations to the priesthood were motivated by a fear of "becoming" gay. Seems funny now _ I'd say it was more of an opportunity. But for them it was worth vowing celibacy, poverty etc rather than go down that road. And some perhaps even believed in God - either way that one wasn't a dealbreaker. Obviously, it often ended unhappily. Vowing celibacy and practising it are not the same thing. I remember the mirth at the school when Br Sebastian was done for cottaging in the local town.. From memory, he'd also moved from Australia, thinking he would be a different person. He wasn't If he'd just been gay, nobody would have cared. And my rather shallow mind thinks He'd have got way more action in Sydney than rural North Yorkshire - but that, I supposei was exactly the fear.

All my wife's exes are gay. She says she likes "unthreatening" men - but its what the rest of the world calls gay. Even the ones that don't seem to be, you know its only a matter of time.

Married 25 years; with bf for 15. Both know - if not every detail. And there are some awkward moments - like bumping into a colleague of hers she particularly disliked in a sauna one time.

Lost the sight in one eye from undiagnosed syphilis. Could have been worse.

I don't get it either It's obviously emotional, not practical. My guess is that it dates back to a time when the consequences were far greater than they are today and it hasn't updated. I'm poz and it doesn't bother me. I don't have to pay for the pills and the daily inconvenience is nothing. It's like wanting to contract hay-fever. Sure, there may be long term complications - but all heath gets more complicated as you get older and adding to the list seems a bit remote as a fetish motivator. I get submission/power - I just like it to have more real and noticeable consequences - a pill a day and a risk of worse in twenty years isn't a turn on. It seems as "here and now" as a life-insurance fetish. Pretty crap fetish too, as once it's done, it's done. So it, it seems a strange and pointless fetish to me. But then again, they all are if you're not into them, so let's not judge.

It sounds super hot to me! Even if the risk is small, the fact that he could do it is a big turn on.

1. Have more sex, or in fact, have sex. 2. Don’t worry how you look. You look fine and they’d fuck you even if you didn’t.

How do I get pleasure from little cocks? By having them cum in me. Much the same as big cocks really.

Racism, snobbery, homophobia are all the same. Take the world. Divide is into two groups - us and them. Attribute stereotyped characteristics to each. Cling on to these even when contradicted by the facts (eg Kwasi Kwarteng isn't properly black) Anyone can do it. And the list of reasons is endless. They are all nonsense for the same reason: there is either one type of human or there are as many different types as there have been different people. We forget that our categories and stereotypes are not reality. They are crude generalisations we use to help us understand a reality which would otherwise be too much for our brains to handle. The idea that "white people" or "the Chinese" are racist is daft. Some are. Some aren't. Some might look at you contemptuously as you go into the club. Others will fuck you when you're in. Others still might do both. And in fairness, it's not like nobody stereotypes the Chinese. We all stereotype. It's impossible not to. The problem is when we start to think our stereotypes are reality. I don't believe people in general are assholes. They just sound that way when they generalise. Ask them about actual people - and they seem a lot nicer. And, of course, fucks are actual people. I've been fucked by total bottoms and people who aren't into white guys. And countless straight guys... And been lectured while being fucked about all the bad things I did in the Opium Wars. But as he always cums in me, it doesn't bother me too much.

I tried so hard to find a think of another way of saying this, but I couldn't find one. Yes, you are doomed. Obviously not literally - the choices and the decisions you make are still all yours and as free as they ever were. You might - in theory - give up bb or even sex altogether. You could become a monk, marry a woman, or get a job on the international space station. But you won't. You don't want to be in control; you want to be fucked. It might be ridiculous to say you will never have a covered cock in you again (life throws up some odd surprises) but never again is it going to be what you go for if you have the choice. You are doomed" because it is your own desires which doom you. You will find that these only increase - and what once seemed to make them such a problem will seem less and less in the way. You get better at dealing with them (or preventing them altogether) and much, much less controlled by your fears. It's great. Even the realisation that you are so controlled is a turn-on. Doomed is a great choice of word - if anything you probably underestimate how strong your desires are and how unlikely the chaste conventional options really are. You will be fine with the adjustments too - because what you are adjusting to is being yourself. Or at least, that's how it was for me. If anyone had told me when I was your age that anyone might drive 45 minutes to Inverurie in the middle of the night when there was snow on the ground to get fucked bb in a park I would thought it was obvious fantasy. Even if they wanted it, they were never going to get it in that part of the world - at any time of day or night. If they had gone on and said it was me who would do this, I would have laughed "known" what they were up to - only that they had they had spoiled it by overdoing it. That wasn't something I wanted, I wouldn't know how to arrange it if I could nor I would never be bothered to drive 45 minutes each way for a ten minute fuck (on the off chance he was for real and not a flake). Like I say, life throws up some odd surprises. ps great question - very hot - whether or not the answers are telling you something you already know

I agree with others - you were right to tell the truth. It's the right thing to do - and much better from his point of view than the one he had feared. Anyone who bb's knows there's a risk. Your answer - at least to anyone rational - puts his risk with you as low as its ever realistically likely to be. It's not just about the answer but also about whether the answer given is true. The problem is we are not really at our best when sexual desire tells us to do one thing, and fear tells us that death and disgrace will follow immediately if we do. Regular fucks may vanish for no reason - or pop up again - regardless of anything we say or do. I remember there was one guy I would regularly meet for a suck - never more. That was fine with me - he seemed clearly the condom type, and I suspect I just as clearly bb. He was a nice guy - someone I'd known for years and sucked on countless occasions, and by the end, I saw him as much as a friend as a FB. Then one time - to surprise and delight - he decided to fuck me, bb. Only after that he never wanted to see me again - not even to suck. We did eventually arrange a (brief and slightly awkward) meet for a chat - which didn't shed much light on things. My guess is that he knew that if I let him fuck me, bb, he knew I would let others do it too. Allowing him to fuck me turned him on at the time, but it also made me seem too much of a risk. A far more rational approach - would have been to ask about my status and bb at the very outset and make a decision accordingly rather than trying to piece things together in this way. But neither his reasons for starting - nor his decision to stop was remotely rational it was never very likely. As I say, he was a nice guy. He knew his reaction was both irrational and unfair. And that made him feel bad. But it wasn't going to change how he felt. Or another time, a guy responded to my CL post looking to be fucked, bb and anon. Only he said it couldn't be truly anon because he knew me. I asked if he wanted to fuck even so. (Sightly disingenuously - if it had freaked him out that he knew me, he would have gone quiet; if he was still sending me messages, it he clearly still wanted to fuck). His reply duly confirmed this, so I went to his place, put on the blindfold and got fucked. Only as soon as he had cum, he starts lecturing me on how dangerous and wrong it was to get bb fucks from strangers. Anyone remotely rational would see that the fuck and the bollocking were alternatives. He could do either - but choosing one did realistically rule out the other. They would also skip the lecture. Even if it were true, he would seem in an exceptionally poor position to give it - not just because it was his cum dripping from my hole - but also because I was in an open relationship, and he was not. But as it wasn't rational, there was no point. His views on filthy sluts varied wildly according to mood. Now they seemed irresponsible and diseased - but when he was back in the mood, they would still be who he wanted to fuck. So I nodded and tried to look serious as if I thought the same - and if his cum in my hole filled me with concern, not delight. As everyone has said, this isn't about you. Nor is there any reason to think any answer would have had a different result. Trying to guess what lie might have "worked" and giving it seems as pointless as it is wrong. He is also (probably) slightly more likely to change his mind if his fear comes from the truth you told him, not the comfort of the "right" answer combined with a fear that it might not be true.

Two things to remember. First the Bishop of Birmingham's theory about Jesus: he hung out with a group of guys, none of whom - as far as one can tell - were married. He got on with women - including sex workers - but just as friends. There was one particular disciples who was the one he loved - but it was one of the others who gave him away to the authorities, identifying him by a kiss. In first century AD terms, how much more obvious would you like it to be? More seriously remember there good surprises happen too. Trust people and you will find out. The fear and anger brigade like to sell the story that they represent everyone. They don't. If they did, they wouldn't react as they do. My biggest surprise was telling my best friend I was gay - not because I chose to but because I had no other choice). What I found out was not that he was gay. He's straight - but was having way more extra-marital action than I was (including e.g. a bride on the night before her wedding). It's things like this which tell you who your real friends are - and means you don't waste any more time on those who aren't. If you weren't gay you might never know which was which.

I once got my money back from a sauna in Hong Kong. I was there for 45 minutes and there was literally no-one else there. I'd only just moved from London - where a weekday lunchtime would be no problem.

In sex I think I might be sub. Guys have turned me off by being too polite and decent - or too chatty. No-one has ever turned me off by being rude, selfish, bossy or having no common language between us. While friendly chat can be a problem, bossy one-sided rants are not - especially if they are it's about their superiority (personally or by type), a bit conspiracy theory-ish, or a bit bonkers in some way. I like being filmed, tied up told what to do. I hate the "what are you into" question. I'd much rather they just knew what they were into and got on with it. I'm far more likely to be into it if they do. All up to a point, obviously. There can be a bit of a fine line between sex dominance and real mental health worries which aren't. Obviously there are lots of exceptions too - everyone's sexy in they're own way. I'm don't completely writing off the polite, the rational or the considerate. Like the last comment, I have no desire to top. I see it as like going to the dentist. The fact that I can do it and even sometimes do, doesn't make that there is any real desire.