Being an addict in recovery, it is the wiring of the brain. You truly have to understand addiction to understand an addict. For myself, it was not a choice the first time, as it was put into KY jelly without my knowledge or permission. After that, I was hooked. Yes, I am one of those people who threw my life away. A master's degree in education, 20+ years of teaching, all lost to her. But I could not stop, it took my family forcing me to move back with them and our village to make sure I was kept busy. If it weren't for that I would be dead. But again, it took a lot of love and patience, and I know I have received the biggest gift in the world.