barecubtop

So far I've only had one referral that told me he had been referred to me LOL. A married guy thing...I had sucked off one of his coworkers or something, they talked, and then I got a text out of the blue from this other guy asking if I was free.

I'm a silent type...just the way I've always been. But I try to make up for it by touching the guy while he blows me - caressing his arms, or tweaking his nipples, etc...to show that I'm enjoying it. My breathing will change as I get closer to cumming, and I'll usually say something about being close also. I do enjoy sucking off certain types of guys too, and some of them have been pretty silent until they suddenly announce "I'm close", which is such a turn on to know I've gotten them there. I also look for the breathing changes or their balls drawing closer to their body, etc...

(for @Ranger Rick also) I agree with both of you to some extent, but it all depends on the context. For some guys that I'm just not sure about (for instance if I'm going to have to drive out of town or meet in a public place or something) I'll probably suggest a (short) phone call to get a sense of personality and compatibility. Other guys say that they're low on messages or something and I may be willing to exchange numbers with them if they seem legit. Usually if I text someone and it either doesn't go well or nothing comes of it, I haven't had any problems with them spamming me or anything - we just delete each other from our phones.

I haven't seen it referred to in the sense of hookup apps and such like the article talks about, but several years ago I read the book, "Paradox of Choice" (I think I still own it, unless I lent it to someone). It's a good read.

When in December? I'm trying to plan a December Chicago visit also.

Will be in town for a conference in the downtown area. Arriving on Saturday evening (3rd) and flying home on Wednesday afternoon. First time at this particular conference, so I don't know what to expect in terms of free time in the evenings or anything, but I'm hoping to find some fun. Any guys on here from Phoenix that might want to chat about meeting up while I'm there? Or, any guys from Phoenix (or who are familiar with Phoenix) that can suggest some things to check out while I'm there. For instance, I've heard there are a couple bathhouses, but are they in the downtown area, or an Uber ride away? Which one is the better option for bb and a better crowd if I were to go on that Saturday or Sunday evening? Any "can't miss" food places in the downtown area that I should check out if I can?

Thanks for the "chin up" and the validation that I'm not alone in this. I've gotten this response as well - see next comment. Sounds like we've been through many of the same experiences, and that all three of us (me, you, and Obliging) know we aren't unattractive in real life but we just aren't photogenic. As a side note on that, I'll say "I'm not very photogenic" before I send a pic and the guy will inevitably respond with "you are too" or "you're handsome" or "you're cute"...but it still ends up with them not continuing the conversation. So apparently admitting you're not photogenic will at least get you some fake compliments. Good suggestion on the 'not sending pics until they do' idea. I've tried that before and it's been hit or miss. The phone thing also sounds like a good idea, but nowadays so many people are so afraid of actually talking on the phone (I still enjoy having long phone calls with friends, though). Yes, you're right about the expectations. When I was in Chicago last, I went to a bookstore that has a large LGBTQ section and picked up a book about how porn influences what gay men think is sexy and how it informs us of what sex "should" be (which, in many cases is unrealistic)...I haven't started reading it yet, but I'm looking forward to it. I live about 40 miles away from a bigger city (Indianapolis) here in the US. I guess my question to you with your app usage is what you do at home? Do you just have enough regulars in your town to keep you satisfied sexually? Do you go into London on a regular enough basis that you just have your fun there? I ask as there are really no other options to meet men in my town other than the apps. We do not have any gay bars or clubs. And despite the fact that I'm a graduate student at a major university, we don't have any kind of graduate student gay organizations or anything (it's a very conservative campus in general, unlike most universities). While these are wise words, it's sometimes hard not to allow ourselves to be abused in the process, especially if we're vulnerable and hopeful of some kind of connection (physical or emotional). I do have pride in myself for being who I am and where I am in life...which then brings up the internal question, "I'm a catch, why do none of these guys see that and why aren't they interested??" Thanks for the responses so far, and for any that are to come. Getting feedback from all of you is helpful - and a lot cheaper than sitting with a therapist! LOL

I imagine that all of us - some more than others - have been frustrated when it comes to sex/dating/technology. In particular, we can get frustrated from: Apps: people blocking you if they don't like your pictures or stats (age, weight, ethnicity) Apps: people just stop talking to you after what feels like a decent, or promising, conversation (ghosting) Apps: people saying they're on their way to your place and never show up Location: no non-app ways to meet other gay men, forcing you to deal with the above (apps) Location: not enough population to choose from for hookups or dating, etc... Location: too much population to choose from where everyone is looking for "the next best thing" Rejection: you feel as though nobody likes your body, face, dick size, the way you pronounce a certain word, etc... Rejection: you get friend-zoned instead of dating or becoming a fuckbuddy Rumors: word gets around that you are "_____" (a slut, have STI's, desperate, etc...) and you feel as though your reputation is ruined Blue Balls: you are extremely horny and you can't find ANYTHING to fuck/suck/ride/lick... ...the list goes on and on (feel free to add yours) So, I have a few questions: Is it just me? Am I the only person that gets frustrated about these things? Am I just too sensitive? How do you deal with the frustration? How long do you let it "fester"? How do you keep faith in this "gay/bi/queer community" that we're supposed to be a part of? If you DON'T get frustrated by these things, why not? What's the trick? If you manage to avoid some of these frustrations (i.e. by not posting any pics or stats) how do you get around it? Thanks in advance, guys.

I topped raw for a few years before PrEP, but always asked about status and was more cautious in places like bathhouses or sex parties. There was only one time when I knowingly fucked a poz undetectable guy bare before PrEP (and freaked out about it after). After getting on PrEP, I was still cautious but it's been a gradual relaxation over time. At first, I still asked people their status and would sometimes turn down a guy that was poz. Then I started topping just about anyone raw. It's only recently (after about 3 years on PrEP) that I've sucked and swallowed undetectable loads. I have not been with anyone that's not undetectable as far as I know (I'm guessing I probably have at Steamworks in Chicago, though). Being on PrEP certainly gives me peace of mind, and it's broadened the type of guys I'm into and willing to fuck with (regardless of their status, which is something a little deeper than the HIV thing, but I won't go into that here).

I'm voting A or C, but I have to add the caveat that I'm a top and on PrEP. I live in what most of you would consider a small town, but we have a major university and I'm within a couple hours of both Indianapolis and Chicago. There are maybe 2-3 guys on BBRTS in my town (but none that I've met up with, go figure). On Scruff, I advertise that I'm on PrEP but don't specifically call out that I'm into BB, but there are very few people who actually respond on Scruff around here. I get many more replies on Scruff when I'm in the bigger cities. On Grindr, I'm pretty straightforward. I used the devil and pig emoticons for awhile and some guys asked me what they were for (eyeroll). Now, my Grindr profile doesn't specifically say anything about BB, but when I'm talking to a bottom who wants to fuck, I am pretty blunt about preferring bare and will say something like "I have other options, thanks" if they insist on condoms. Do I get a LOT of action? No, but usually enough to keep me satisfied and not feeling guilty about any kind of lying or stealthing. But, as others will say on here, you'd be surprised at how many are willing to go bare that say "safe only" or something in their profiles.

I think @latinocumwhore1 should offer to take some of us (me particularly) there and show us around...probably end up with a few loads in his hole before we leave.

A new bearish trucker guy has moved to town and been on Grindr lately. I hit him up throughout the week a couple times and we shared pics and such, but I was starting to think he just wasn't interested in me. I was busy most of the day Saturday out in the country without good cell reception, but when I got home later that evening I noticed he had tried to start a group chat on Grindr with me and someone else (but couldn't tell who). So I started asking him about it and he said the other guy ended up blocking him or whatever....not uncommon around here. Then he said a guy just loaded him up. So I asked if he wanted me to come give him some more and he said yes. I found his place and found him ass up on the bed. Fucked one load into him and we started chatting a bit, put minimal clothing on and he showed me around his place that he's fixing up, then I moved back to the bedroom and said we weren't done. When I started pulling down my jeans again, he got the hint and quickly stripped down again and grabbed his poppers. After the second fuck, he needed a smoke break. So we got dressed again and stepped outside and were chatting and browsing Grindr for more tops to come over...but didn't find any. He said at one point that he's more likely to be able to play on the weekends, so that explains the seeming lack of interest during the week. But, he made several suggestions that he wanted to fuck on a regular basis going forward too. :-)

Me: Are you prepped/cleaned out and ready? Him: I showered. I've had more of those end up with a mess all over my dick, so I just don't even bother unless they've told me they douched or used an enema. Also, guys on the apps that send me a pic of their ass in panties...just not my thing. The hygiene/breath some of you have mentioned above are requirements also, but you don't necessarily know that until you meet. I interpreted the original post as "what would make you say no as you're chatting with the potential hookup on bbrt or some other website/app."

Yes. I get this from bottoms on Grindr all the time. While I think it's hot that you're willing to take on multiple tops, and I agree that tag teams and groups can be hot, if you immediately ask me to put in the effort to find other tops when I don't know if we have chemistry or if I don't know if you'll even show up, then I'll likely stop responding and go find someone else.

Quick recap of my weekend in Chicago. Saturday - went to the bear event at Steamworks in the afternoon. The crowd wasn't quite as hot as the previous couple times I went, but I still had fun. 1. played with a guy that I had talked to on BBRT in his room...he just went down on me, as he had been rough fucked by another guy and had bled. He told me to come back later to fuck (unfortunately didn't happen) 2. fucked @latinocumwhore1 on a fuck bench on the third floor 3. walked into the steamroom area, had my glasses off so I couldn't see much but I could tell there was a beefy guy fucking what looked like a twink-ish kind of younger guy. I watched, then beefy guy moved out of the way and the younger guy stayed in position, so I moved in and fucked a load in, then beefy guy went back at him. (beefy guy later stopped by my room when I had the door open and said that he enjoyed watching me) 4. another random guy on a fuck bench on the second floor...backwards baseball hat, more of a jock build, that's about all I could tell. Had a crowd watching this one, and as I pulled out a bear next to me moved in to go next. 5. a guy on BBRT had messaged me with his room number, so I went to check him out. He was sucking me off and another guy came in to join us. I ended up fucking and breeding the "host" guy while third guy looked on. When I was done, bottom guy offered his ass to the other top, but other top declined. 6. another younger bear guy from BBRT (I had posted a party ad for the event, so these guys had been messaging me from that) stopped by my room...took turns sucking each other and making out, but he said something about not being ready to bottom. Told me to hit him up the next day before I left town, but when I did he didn't respond. 7. fucked @latinocumwhore1 a second time in a little public corner by the sling room....for any of you tops in the Chicago area, his hole is worth checking out! 8. was walking down the hallway when someone tapped me and called me by my name. It was a daddy bear of a couple that lives in northwest Indiana. I had spent a night with them a couple years ago, playing in their basement playroom. He had messaged me on Bear411 a couple days prior saying that he was going to be at this event, but I had forgotten. We went to his room for awhile to make out and snuggle for a bit, but I had to leave soon. 9. I had noticed this one guy with his beefy ass up in his room with the door open as I was walking around. So, before I left, I figured I'd go see if his door was open. It was, so I went in, felt up his hole, got him to start sucking me, and then turned him around to fuck him doggy. He had condoms next to the bed, and I wondered if he was going to ask me to put one on, but no...he just presented his hole and I slid right in. Really nice fuck to end the day with, and he was really hot in that beefy daddy kind of way. I almost think I probably fucked him at the last bear day I went to also, he looked familiar. Saturday night I had non-sexual plans for the evening, and by the time I got back to my hotel room around 10:30-11pm I was exhausted (I had been up since 5am that morning to catch the train and all). So, despite getting some offers on the apps, I had to decline. Sunday morning I browsed the apps but wasn't finding anything. When I got back up to the Boystown area, I got a message on BBRT from a "muscle bear couple" and within a couple messages I was heading to their apartment. Got there and it was just one of them, fucked him, pulled out dirty, cleaned up and left. Sort of a disappointment, but oh well. Had lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out with @bbinbpark, a friend I've known for awhile (haha, there's a story there).

Anyone else from BZ going to be around this weekend?

Productive day when I went down to Indianapolis today. Was on my phone at lunch, browsing Grindr. A guy was advertising that he wanted tops to come over and fuck his boy, profile suggested both were around 29/30 years old. Drove over, waited awhile out in the car while they got ready, and then got the signal to come in. Other top led me to the bedroom where the bottom was blind-folded and kneeling on the bed. Dropped my shorts, let him suck me nice and hard, turned him around and fucked him while the other top forced him to suck. Bottom was a moaner and was enjoying himself. After I unloaded, the other top immediately got right in behind him and fucked him while bottom guy cleaned my cock off. Got dressed and left. Went straight over to the next guy's place. He was a 28 yo in an open relationship. His boyfriend was out shopping. Sucked me hard, and I fucked him on his couch/ottoman in a few different positions...one of which involved his ass on the ottoman and his face on the floor somehow. This guy was also a moaner. Bred him, got dressed, stopped at the convenience store on the corner for a Coke and went to sit in the car to see who else responded on Grindr. Third guy was a 24 yo grad student at the university nearby. Turned out he was also talking to an older bear buddy of mine that I had done tag teams with before. The conversation on Grindr lagged a little bit, to the point where I was about to give up and get on the road home, but he finally gave me an address. Got over there, parked, got into his apt, stripped down, fucked his face a little, and was rimming him when my buddy walked in to join us. Buddy fucked him for a bit, then I fucked and bred him, then buddy got in him again to add his load. I don't think the bottom said more than 5-6 words the entire time. Buddy had fucked him a couple weeks prior and thinks he's more of a cumdump than he lets on. I'd definitely do him again, he was cute as fuck. I almost considered going for more, but my dick was getting tired after edging a lot the night before.

That's quite a sentence. With that in mind, remember your audience too. As beautiful as ErosWired's sentence may be, a story full of sentences like that will likely cause some readers to give up if they don't understand the metaphors or language. I wouldn't write a sex story in the same way I write my academic (math) papers. I often find that I'm too wordy in some of my "last load" posts on here and have to edit several times before I finally push the submit button so that it's short and concise enough to get the point across.

Yeah, this is true. I've found that most bottoms seem to think they want whored out, but when I start going through the trouble of finding other tops, the bottoms either disappear (when chatting on an app) or get frustrated that I don't have "tops on call, waiting to drop everything and come over." As a top, I like the idea of having a bottom to fuck and then invite others to come fuck and fill him while I recover or participate in a tag team situation. But finding the bottoms that can handle it or truly desire it are few and far between, in my experience. Just last night I tried a tag team with another top and bottom, and the bottom couldn't seem to handle us fucking him...the only position he seemed to enjoy was riding (which does nothing for me), and within about 10 minutes the bottom said he was close to cumming and wanted to know if we were ready to shoot too. Just an overall disappointing experience.

Nice...will look for you.

I don't even need to notice they're freeballing...a man in a suit always catches my eye.