LetsPOZBreed

May sound counterintuitive, but you're prob the safest in hooking up with an undetectable guy. You know we get tested regularly, and are actively sticking to our treatments.

Those who cite the encouragement to better their own health (myself included in this), it should be noted that it's a bit of a retrospective benefit. I only got the encouragement to do those things after testing poz, rather than chasing the bug for that purpose. Not everyone who does get pozzed feels this way, though. I've also seen guys go full-on into the drug use / PnP scene after becoming poz as well. I will say that being poz meant that I qualified for the pre-existing conditions priority group for the COVID jab. I guess one can call that a "benefit" in some strange way...

The second point from the original post is one I've seen play out before as well. Doesn't exactly have to be a cruising spot such as a park either; I've had a motel sex party get cancelled because some guy who got rejected by the host (for whatever reason) called the motel to snitch. The motel then contacted the organiser and threatened them to cancel the reservation if the party was to be held as planned. The organiser was going to find an alternate location, but think interest waned too much and it never happened.

I knew there was somthing I left out...But this is a big one!

My fear of HIV (or lack thereof) came from the fact that I met someone who was poz rather early on in my gay life. It wasn't a sexual thing between us, but it really showed me in the flesh that HIV wasn't the death sentence that the news portrayed. Granted, this was the mid- to late-90s, and treatments aren't what they are today, but my friend has been living his life to the fullest...(and still is!) It didn't make me want to rush out and start barebacking, though. My first time BB was after a night out at the club; guy took me home and he fucked me raw. It felt FUCKING AMAZING! But I didn't want the risk; we had never discussed status, so I was panicked for a little while afterwards until getting tested. I found out that bottoming raw was the only way I could truly enjoy it, but wasn't willing to accept the risk. I became a near total top for a few years. Not until a regular playmate a few years later did the topic get broached again, and I let him due to the fact that I trusted him. Can't really say what made me decide to go raw all the time, but was shortly after that. I knew, and accepted the risks, and it actually took surprisingly long afterwards until I actually converted.

Probably not just an A4A problem. I'll admit, I haven't logged into A4A in years, but only because it's not as popular here in Europe. I have noticed on some apps that I get (messages/woofs/smiles/footprints/whatever they are called on that particular app) from guys that are thousands of kilometers away, and there's no reasonable possibility that we are going to meet face-to-face. I'm sure most of them are genuine, but I don't really see what fruitful conversation can be had with them. If it's a guy from the US, I assume he's prob genuine and looking for chat...but I'm not. If the guy is from a third-world country with a known penchant for spam messages, I just completely block them.

I would invest in a dildo or two (if you haven't already). Certainly has helped me on occasion. And as some of the advice states above, practice...practice...practice. You want to be in the right mindset for your body to allow a large top inside you comfortably. Poppers helps, as will lots of lube. Be honest with your partner to go in gentle; you can work up the pace as you get more accustomed to having him inside you.

Excellent points above. A few more notes about expectation setting, though: 1. Of all the men you invite, expect about 30-50% to actually show up (on average). 2. Try and keep the total numbers manageable. Your top mate (see point 1 in the previous post) can only do so much when you're both outnumbered. Also, you may inadvertently call unwanted attention to your room if you get high turnout. 3. Make sure you can handle the number of guys that would reasonably show up. Nothing more frustrating to a top then to go to a gangbang where the bottom can't handle it after the first 30 min or so. 4. Once numbers pass a certain point, expect that some guys will start playing on the side. Not everyone will just idly wait for their turn. 5. If you post for a party on a website, don't confirm the physical location until the day of. I've seen many a party get cancelled or moved to an alternate location because some spurned queen contacts the motel/hotel out of spite. 6. You may get questions from guys asking about the others that are signed up (i.e. can you share photos, etc). These tend to be the flakes who won't show, and you should not bother responding to them. It's YOUR gangbang, not theirs; they really shouldn't care what anyone looks like but you.

All of these points hit the nail on the head to varying degrees. IMHO, it is partly down to the fact that some guys are into the fantasy of it all, until reality confronts them. They may have been watching various porn scenes where all the men are chiseled and perfect, and think to themselves "I should try that". Then the messages start coming in, and the guy realises that we all aren't 25 with a six-pack and an 8 inch dick. Or they realise that there is a possibility that a guy can be properly toxic or give them an STI. I enjoy taking loads, but have never advertised myself as "no loads refused". In normal times, if I'm in a mood for multiple tops or a group scenario, I'll head to a sauna or cruise spot. Everyone there knows what they're getting into - (though I have had to bat away the grabby hands of bottoms trying to reach through my jockstrap for my cock; there's a damn good reason my ass is out and my cock isn't). I also grew tired of tops on the apps/sites that are more interested in asking me if how many loads I have before entertaining the idea of coming over.

I used to frequent the Monday naked nights at Vault in London. Better than trying to find action on the apps, especially at the beginning of the week. Once lockdown happened and Vault shut down, that went out the window. Also, being poz (though undetectable) I wasn't taking any chances with how some new virus might cause some unknown effects; it wasn't (and still isn't) worth the crapshoot of a random hookup to wind up with God only knows what to deal with afterwards.

Yeah, it's wintertime...and typical cold/flu season. You're probably okay from HIV, based on what you're describing with the condom. Wouldn't hurt to get yourself tested soon, regardless.

I've only hooked up once since last March. It was during a relatively calm period of infection rates in the UK, but I still had that anxiety as well. Found it troublesome to get hard for him (I eventually did), as my mind seemed to be playing through the "what if" scenarios again. My worry is more that I don't know how my body would react to contracting COVID. I could range from totally asymptomatic to being on a ventilator. After that one time, I figured it wasn't worth the risk until I get vaccinated (at a minimum). But I doubt you're alone in this feeling. Curious to see how others feel.

I'll agree with a couple of posters above. I've been fucked by guys with PA's a couple times. What's really great about it is the difference in temperature between the piercing and the cock itself. Neither one was particularly a rough top either, so the motions meant that I didn't get the feeling of being physically torn apart by it. That's the one thing I was nervous about the first time I took one.

I'd read this on their Twitter page a couple months ago after a mutual piss buddy told me about the news. Just checked again, and they've posted the update about CS - maybe there's hope after all. I'll bide my time (and donate, of course!) and see if I can get my usual dousing of stress-relief started again, once it's safe to do so.

Face-to-face. I want us to look deep into each others' eyes the whole time.

I just assume it's the heat of the moment, and take it for the dirty talk that it is. Of course I'm going to say yes and beg for it.

Agree with the previous poster. S.O.P. has already said that they won't be returning and would look at alternate venues. Which is a shame, since that's the one I frequented. There will certainly be pent-up demand for when this type of thing can return, but the real question is where/if they would find any space to do so.

I'm more turned on by a guy who remains true to his own preferences; whether he is total top, total bottom, or on some spectrum of versatility. I'm bothered by guys who state their preferences on their profile as total top or bottom, then try and chat me up and propose the opposite. I've started referring to my positional preference as "adaptable". Broadly speaking: I enjoy being on top; I enjoy being on bottom; I enjoy flipping. I've been with total tops and had absolutely zero interested in plowing them. Similarly, I've had total bottoms where I have zero interest in having them try and fuck me. It's all about a connection and vibe, and having an honest conversation about what a guy truly enjoys.

Getting back around to this, as I've been meaning to post. Yes, I have. Don't mean to bring the room down, but hopefully my story can give some insight. I was 23, and had been living on my own for about a year. I had recently gotten out of a relationship that left me heartbroken, so I decided to do what I usually did when I was feeling down...went down to the local gay bar to drown myself drunk. I was a semi-regular at this place, and this was also a small-ish university city, so I recognised many of the guys there. There was a small group of guys (friends) around that night, spearheaded by a hot cowboy couple, along with a few others. One of their friends that I hadn't really seen before was giving me the eye, and I honestly didn't mind. He wasn't that bad looking, but I wasn't really up for anything that night due to my mood. He approached anyway, and we got to talking. Nice enough guy and I was being polite, but eventually I came around and started to actually have a good time. Ended up dancing together for a while that evening, and things started leading a certain way. I wasn't expecting to take anyone home with me; if anything were to happen, I would have wanted to top or leave it at oral...looking back, I should have stated that. Oh, one mroe important thing to mention here. Prior to this, I had only been barebacked once. I was very much a stickler for condom usage and even balked at guys who suggested going raw. End of the night, we were having enough of a good time where I did, indeed, invite the guy to my place to cap the night off. Got inside and started making out on the sofa. It started out like a typical hot encounter...kissing, sucking, the whole thing. Then he gets on top and attempts to insert himself into me raw. I wasn't a barebacker then, and wasn't really prepared (mentally or physically) to get fucked that night. I tried steering the action away from that to either flipping him or just letting me orally finish him. He wasn't having it. He pushed me back down and tried again, this time pushing enough to where he did manage to penetrate me. This is when I started to try and fight him off. The more I struggled, the more aggressive he got. Finally, he put his elbows on the top of my chest, pinning me down. I still tried everything I could to make it stop, but nothing was working. Finally, I came to the conclusion that the only way this was going to end was to let him finish what he was doing. When I bottom, I moan. This time, I was full on crying...tears and everything. He repeatedly jammed inside me, but thankfully after only a couple of minutes I felt him cum. Couldn't have been more than about 2 or 3 minutes after pinning me down, but it felt like an eternity. After his balls were drained, he collapsed on top of me, and all I could do was just lay there in shock and disbelief of what just happened. One of those moments where in a roundabout way, I was in denial that I was just fucked bareback against my will. He got dressed and left, and I just remember not being able to sleep at all that evening and just bawling my eyes out. This event. This singular event, changed me as a person. I've always been relatively introverted, but I pretty much retreated into myself. I felt I couldn't go out to the local gay bar anymore for fear of running into him, or seeing that group of guys he was hanging around with. I completely lost my sex drive altogether, and it was months before it came back in even a marginal way. I actually became a total top for a while, as even the hint of bottoming triggered a reaction. Also, because I didn't really know this guy very well and had clearly been seeded by him, I became paranoid about getting pozzed. I did get tested (quite a few times) after that, and all came back negative, but there was always this fear in the back of my mind. I could bring myself to talk about it - not even to my closest friends. I just put the whole situation on block as much as I could. It would be a few years before I let a guy fuck me again. I became suspicious of large groups of men, and this led me to retreat from places where that was common. I wasn't going to gay clubs; I wasn't attending pride parades; none of that. I grew up feeling that I could potentially be attacked by some homophobic redneck from my part of the US; instead, it turned out that the most heinous act done to me happened at the hands of someone in my own community. I couldn't trust gay men any longer. By then, I went from being an occasional alcoholic to a heavy drinker. I had no self-confidence. When I did get back into bottoming, I turned into a barebacker. Not because I specifically enjoyed it, but instead lived with a fear that a guy on top of me is just going to take what he wants, however he wants it. I was a barebacker because I felt worthless. Eventually, my lack of confidence led me to darker and darker places over the years, culminating in a period of drug use that would be what led to my conversion. The drug use stopped at that point, but the alcoholism coninued on. A little over 4 years ago, I finally decided to completely sober up - and part of that process of addressing the underlying issues of my drinking was confronting that horrible evening 15 years ago. I'm in a much better place now. I no longer think of the "what ifs" and instead live my life for the blessing it is, but there is a part of me that was changed forever.

It's a different set of guys now that I'm older. I prob get about the same, really. I also try and stay reasonably fit too, so that has an effect on it. The big difference for me these days is the quality of the play as opposed to the quantity. I have better sex in my 40s than I ever did in my 20s. I have much more of an open mind, and there's always a plus to being more experienced.

While I appreciate your comments @slampigcumdumpLA, I have to agree with my poz brothers above in that my feeling is not having a "hissy fit". I get your point that all other things being equal, there are medical differences, but that is far oversimplifying things. You're neglecting two important points by laying out a hypothetical: (1) You're leaving out the mental aspect of dealing with a positive status, and (2) No two humans are created equal - medically and mentally. I've been hit up by poz chasers on the apps ever since I disclosed my status on my profile. I still have no interest in meeting them to "poz them" (my screen-name aside). If anything, I try and have a talk with them about why they are chasing and so forth - many will not engage, but the odd few will; you'd be surprised at some people's stories whether you agree with them or not. Whatever I may feel about my own poz status, I certainly don't enjoy the doctor visits, remembering to take my nightly pharmaceutical regimen, or restricting my global travel due to some nations' unenlightened views on transmission (looking at you, Singapore). There's also the whole dating thing, which likely belongs in its own thread.

To each his own, I guess, but I think any moaning is better than no moaning. My biggest erogenous zones are my ears - I like the sounds of sex as much as the sex itself. When I do top (rare as that may be), the more intense their moaning is, the harder I fuck them. If a guy is too quiet or makes no noise at all, I feel like I'm not doing him a good service. In some respects, though, I can get some tops reservations about the types of moans (i.e. too "girly" or whatever) or if they have housemates. There have been times where I've watched porn with a bottom who moans in a really strange way, and it was a bit of a put off until I turned the volume down.

Yeah, I'm not anywhere near the Pheonix area, but the idea intrigues me. I have both interest and concern about the whole process. Part of entering the fetish community in general was my understanding of how to separate fantasy from (potential) reality. Any guy I do fetish play with will not have the exact same idea of what that play entails. This kind of rough play, while hot, is rife with the potential to escalate out of control. It's not something I'd entertain with someone(s) I'm not already familiar with. Do you incorporate safe words or safe signals in your CNC play - and, if so, is that stated in this waiver? As ErosWired implies above, there has to be some type of "out" (for either party) if limits are exceeded past what one is willing to tolerate. As much as I wouldn't want to involve actual legal counsel for something like this, I'd actually lean toward it just for some level of understanding of the potential risks and pitfalls.

We all have our personal preferences, but I'll add mine to the mix. Even on a hookup site, I prefer seeing a pic with a guy's face on it, and preferably some level of clothed. I have to get the sense that a guy is approachable. If a guy's main pic is just his hard cock or a close-up of his hole, I tend to scroll by. As I've grown older, I'm much less obsessed with headless nudes as main pics.

Lots of patience and experience, my dear boy. I didn't get properly gang banged for the first time until my late 30's. It may not take you that long, but your fantasies are getting the best of you. You honestly need more experience - one on one to start with and slowly work yourself up to more. If you're only just losing your virginity, you haven't fully experienced just how varied tops can be. You need to try out different sizes, ages, fucking styles, and so forth in a comfortable setting with no pressure. As @ErosWired correctly states, once your in the moment of being at a gang bang, it's far too late to determine you're in over your head - you're completely at the mercy of the tops who are there, and they won't tolerate having organised a whole group of guys just to have you decide you've had enough after 2 or 3 men.