LetsPOZBreed

Agreed on the stats of the poll in a couple ways. Yes, the number who voted "yes" to this is shocking and concerning. But this isn't representative of the whole population. This is just those of us who saw the post and poll and voted; there's lots of guys out there that aren't on BZ, even if they are exclusive barebackers - and if we put this type of query out to them, the "no" option would (I hope!) quickly run away toward a supermajority. That being said, I'm in no way condoning or defending any person who voted yes, or put in a comment supporting this practice. If you're going to stand on that street-corner soapbox @ErosWired, I hope you've saved room for me, cause I'll stand right there next to you. If these last two years have taught us anything, it's that you don't really know how one individual person would react, both physically and mentally, to being infected with some pathogen. Our bodies react in different ways to things. Admittedly, STI symptoms are much more well known (i.e. there are clear clinical symptoms of gonnorhea, for example)...but if you've KNOWINGLY infected someone with this, and they were not aware that you had it - you bear a level of responsibility for the consequences of that action.

I've had the idea of starting a small role play "family" similar to this, but never put much actual effort into making it happen. There are a number of reasons why that's the case, in addition to what Bootman has listed above. Bottom line, this gets overly complicated in a hurry and can easily go off the rails and lead to animosity if not handled properly. - Not going to rehash Bootman's comments, but yeah. The bigger your family gets, the sheer number of dynamics becomes unsustainable. At a certain number, (I'd say anything past 5), you should expect a larger family to split into smaller ones as we all want our share of consistent action. This could also lead to hurt feelings between the original family before the breakaway, thinking that they are somehow not "good enough", "hot enough", etc. You can't be expected to leave feelings totally out of it, even in a purely sexual context. - Honestly, it's hard to set up a group of 3 guys or more already, even if it's just a plain vanilla threesome. Add in a specific fetish role play such as this one on top of that, and this becomes next to impossible unless you know exactly where to look for other guys into this sort of thing. - Also, you'd need to be careful in adding new members to your family. It's like inducting someone into a club...you want to be reasonably sure their intent is genuine. Specifically, you don't want to just add one person to a family of three, when that newbie is really just after one other member - (see first point about hurt feelings). - If you were fortunate enough to find others interested in doing this, the most important factor in getting this going is having a core solid group. Some level of attraction has to exist between the members; ideally each family member would actively want to play with each other member one-on-one or together. And you have to negotiate some ground rules as well. These rules can include what actions are/aren't allowed outside of the family, such as the ability to play outside of the unit (think "open relationship" but on a bigger scale). And also has to set out if there is the potential for adding new family members later on, and what criteria and process you'd follow before accepting someone new.

It's the kind of thing where: "if you see me out in public, people can't think we know each other" Applies to many types of guys, actually: "str8" guys who fuck men, guys in non-open relationships, or other guy men who fear being judged by their "friends" for their sexual proclivities.

A little bit of a relevant question: How did this topic even come up with this guy? Did he just put it out there, or had you both been talking about fetishes and the like? Admittedly, this one is for my own curiosity. My thoughts and advice echo the other posters here. My concerns here: - Doesn't sound like you brought this topic up in the first place. It was possibly put forth for you, and you just kept discussing it. If this would be your first experience with literally any of these acts, I'd apologise to the guy and back out. This is not the time, this is not the partner. - You need to have an "out". Something like a safe word or some other way of stopping the scene if you feel uncomforable. Your partner needs to know this word, know why you are assigning a word, and know that your stating this word stops all action immediately. Anyone you've not actually met before might not honour this, and you shouldn't be taking this chance. - Even if the guy is genuinely into any BDSM stuff, this is too intense a scenario for a first meet. If a Dom wants to get you to this point, there has to be a roadmap to get there. Start out with some spanking first...if you don't get into that, then how do you expect to enjoy getting beat up? That's one example, but it applies to the other things listed. - You have to look out for your own safety here. All of this points can lead to disastrous outcomes if not careful, and I don't think you're into those consequences. If you want to be introduced to these kinks, I'm sure you could find dominants who are much more willing to guide you into these the right way over many MANY sessions.

I usually don't, but that's because I forget about it when I'm on my own. My preferred method of tasting my own is to have it fed back to me via a cum kiss with my partner.

On a lighter note, wanted to get a sense out there from my fellow sluts. What are some of the more interesting words you've ever had a guy use during sex to refer to his cum? We all know the usual suspects....cum, jizz, sperm, load, and spunk. Ever have a guy say one that has caught you so off guard that you've actually laughed? I remember years ago there was a proposed book out there that listed all of the different synonyms (semem-yms) for this, and there were quite a few interesting ones in there. Don't think it ever got published though.

I get them regularly as well. Similar situtation as above...my sexual health doctor did a whole thing my first visit about sexual preferences and what-not. I was a bit embarrassed talking about this (it was a lady doctor, and I'm not exactly accustomed to going into this type of stuff with women, being a gay man and all). But after that, this has become a regular occurrence for me as well. Haven't had anything found so far, but it's important to keep tabs on it - especially as I get older. By all means, if you're offered a pap smear...do it. Better to know and have something done about it, then find out about it much later when it's a more serious issue.

I get what the original poster is saying, though. I've had both "known" and "surprise" breedings before as well, and admittedly when I was new to barebacking, I felt quite differently about this. To be fair, not every guy does the porn-style thing and announces he's about to cum. Many of us do, but it's not really our natural instinct to do so; there are other cues. That being said, I also get that if you didn't discuss this being okay in advance, I understand this cna be upsetting. I guess it really depends on your scenario, though. I've been at this so long that I pretty much expect that any man that fucks me will breed me. No discussion is really needed. Back in the early 00's, though, prior to Prep...I prob would have taken issue with it if it were a new guy and we hadn't talked about it in advance. I'm a big believer in consent, and doing something that wasn't discussed is a violation of that - regardless of how it makes you feel afterwards. When it would happen that I'd get bred without prior discussion, I had a few days of feeling scared. I wasn't exactly "chasing"; I knew it was a risk; but it still felt like a dick move by my top (no pun intended). Nowadays, I'd say that if you're negative and want to get fucked bareback...PrEP is the way to go (if it's available to you). Won't prevent STI's outside of HIV, but at least you are taking a little more control over your own sexual safety.

It's a surprisingly common fetish, actually (at least from what I've found). If you're upfront about it, generally you find the guy is either into it or curious about trying it. As far as taste goes, it's kinda like guy's cum; some taste great, others not so much. If it's too strong, I do spit it out. But anyone I do piss play with regularly knows what to drink to make it taste good for me.

Once in uni, I had a guy pick me up at the supermarket. We passed each other in one of the aisles while shopping; he was a sexy muscle daddy and I was about 22 and very twinky. Crossed paths a bit while in the store, and I timed it to where we were checking out at the same time. Ended up exchanging numbers in the parking lot and he had me over about 30 min later. Totally unexpected and one of the hottest experiences I've had!

@ErosWired nails it perfectly (as usual 🙂) I'm similar in that the yes/no dichotomy is separated into two things: the superficial stuff, (age [legal], race, body type, cock size, etc.), and the real thing. I don't deny anyone based on the superficial aspects; I've had lots of fun with guys of all types, so that's never an issue for me. Where I draw the line is guys who aren't that interested in taking care of their own selves or have a blatant disregard for others. Untreated STI's or HIV is a big no-no. As it was stated, it's not only me protecting myself, but also protecting the others who come into sexual contact with me - none of whom asked for that sort of thing. Sure, STI's are part of the bareback lifestyle and can't be totally avoided; if, however, a guy has visible signs of syphillis - I don't owe him anything other than immediately ushering him out the door or blocking him altogether. I've run into instances on BBRT where I've been messaged by guys who use the options under status as "Other" or "Poz + Other". Whilst I do appreciate those guys for being honest, they should fully expect me to ask for details on what that "other" is. It's not about me discriminating against anyone; it's about me making informed consent. I once had a guy who had "other" as his status there and responded with "It means undetectable" when I asked for details...undetectable is one of the options, why isn't he using that? It was a huge red flag for me, and I politely declined further interaction with him.

I was started on Atripla too when my VL dropped below 500. Worked very quickly and I was UD in under 6 months after starting off with a VL of 14000 at diagnosis. I know others who were started on Atripla but asked to be taken off cause of the "trip" factor. I was warned by my doctor about this being a side effect; it did give me strange dreams, but nothing I can't handle. Still on it and still UD nearly 10 years later.

I'm similar to the OP here in that I can't stay hard if overlubed. I tend to put some on my cock when getting ready to fuck, but then always wipe off some excess. That's what I use on my bottom's hole. Might have to try some of the others suggested above (coconut oil and other stuff).

I'm definitely raising my hand and stating "guilty as charged" here. But as mentioned by some others, their techniques aren't always the best. I'm a bit spoiled in that my twink days were filled with sex with older men (including older bottoms). They were willing to guide me and let me know what they liked and what they wanted in a constructive way. And the older tops were the absolute best! I picked up my technique very early on and older men are to thank for that. Now that I'm the older guy, I'd like to find younger guys that I can sexually mentor. Giving back to the community, if you will.

This part right here is why I nearly exclusively got fucked at cruise clubs and saunas (which I thankfully had access to). If I'm going to go through the charade of preparing myself to bottom, I want to get FUCKED. Doing this in preparation for a guy that doesn't show is more than frustrating. When a guy flakes on me after I've prepared, I'm usually too fobbed off to find other options, including going to the cruise bar.

This is a good summary. I've done groups as both a top and bottom (sometimes both in the same night) and all of this rings true. As for the partying bit, this has become more of an issue for me the last few years. In a previous city of residence, there was a guy who hosted a monthly party; these were incredibly fund and most of us were regulars or semi-regulars. We all got to know each other and occasionally met up 1-on-1 outside of the orgies. We would get the oddball here and there, but the host did an amazing job at trying to keep this in check. Nowadays, I've been messged too many times by guys saying "XX guys looking for more", which I immediately take as a bunch of guys on drugs who can't get it up to play. No thanks... As for the selfish bottoms, my friend that hosted the regular parties would tell the bottoms to put on a blindfold and hop in the slings (he had two). The point was that you weren't supposed to care who was fucking you. Would the other guys do side play while waiting? Of course, but the bottoms were the main events and the loads were always saved for them. I've only encountered the selfish ones mentioned by @chipygmalion80 at bathhouses and sex clubs...the ones that want you all to yourself, but don't have the actual sexual skills to keep me from wanting to run away at the first opportunity. Over time, I've lost interest in orgies and groups. I don't get the connection that I get in 1-on-1 scenarios, and it's desensitised me. Not saying I'm looking for the love of my life, but some level of connection is required for me to be even remotly interested in going all the way to completion. One of my biggest pet peeves in cruising for cock online are the "tops" that insist that I have loads in me already, and any number I tell them is never enough. Any guy that asks me about how many loads I have gets no further responses from me.

Oh, he saw them. This was BBRT and the replies clearly quoted the message stating where I was and when I'd be there.

As a community, we really need to unhook these two things from one another. I don't drink or do drugs anymore, but I fuck and get fucked bareback only. Not all barebackers do drugs, and not all drug users do bareback. I freely block anyone on an app that asks me to partake in drug use (clearly stated in my profile text, so anyone that asks has obviously not read this).

I know the OP's original question is quite old by now, but to add my two pence: There are ALWAYS more barebackers out there than what the apps/websites imply. More times than I have appendages to count on did I have a guy come over who stated "condom" or "safe" on their profile, but right after fingering and eating my hole attempted to enter me raw and with spit as lube. I took it, of course, but I kept thinking why this guy didn't just discuss this with me ahead of time. This was pre-Prep, and barebacking was much more risky in those days. I suspect the reason is that putting "bareback" on one's profile back then was more about how some others would judge you ("raw shaming"). At that time in uni, I was living in a very conservative area in the US where many people in the local area knew of everyone else and would openly mock one for things stated on an online profile. I suspect even now there's the question of "what if someone that knows me sees this?" and suddenly someone you don't know sexually now gets to see all your sexual fantasies and practices.

I've been flaked on recently as well. I've thought I've gotten better at sensing this, but things fall through the cracks. My situation: Guy in his mid-20s approaches me on BBRT. We exchange a small number of messages and he asks if I can come to his..gives me his postcode. At this point in the evening, though, public transport would have shut by the time I got to him, so there was no real way of getting back home. I ask for a rain check that evening and he agrees. We make plans for the following evening. I rarely do that last part, as future meets never pan out that well. But right on schedule, he messages me to set up that evening. There was even potential for some rougher play (me to him) and he asks me for a safe word. I get a good feeling about this, as I generally don't get asked that by a guy who flakes. I make my way to the station, near certain that I'm in for a hot time; tell him I'm on my way and if he can confirm his actual address so I can pick the right house... ...then crickets. Twenty minutes later (and two stops from my destination) I get "did you leave yet?" I couldn't believe it. The flakiness around "have you left yours yet", "what time will you get here", "did I scare you off", and that whole thing, when I've clearly messaged my arrival time and asked for confirmation of address. I was livid. I haven't bothered for a meet-up since then. It's just not worth it right now.

If you're bottoming, don't expect to be loaded right away - and don't expect every top that fucks you to unload in you. Many tops are only good for one good load before they're spent, so they save it for most of the night. Be patient and stick around as long as you can stand it; hopefully at least 75% of the way through. At some stage, the tops are going to want to cum, and you don't want to be that guy that peaced out after 2 hours dry and disappointed. Also, if you're bottoming, do wear a jockstrap. It's a tell-tale sign that you're there to get fucked. Similar to comments above, based on my personal experience: - Personally, I prep for almost an entire day leading up to an event. No, that doesn't mean I constantly douche myself from morning to night. What that does mean is that I take it easy on the food intake that day of (i.e. no fast food or anything like that), stick to drinking water for quenching thirst, and I prob have a late breakfast and nothing after that except maybe a piece of fruit. Means there's less to douche out later in the evening (which you should still do of course), and little risk of things materialising midway through the evening. - Many places (in London anyway) require the wearing of shoes in the venue. Even for parties where this isn't the case, I'd still wear some anyway. Trainers work best for me, as the socks are where I store other things I need: poppers, lube. - Have your own poppers and lube, and something you can carry them in - i.e. high-top socks. The lubes provided at these venues (if at all) is going to be the generic water based stuff that dries out too easily. Also, be mindful of poppers in a dark venue...I've lost many a cap in the dark that I've struggled to find afterwards. Also, I've got an armband that has a zip in the bask where I can carry some small amount of cash (if there's a cash bar there). - Don't limit yourself to ideal "types". You'll find there's something for everyone, and also that you'll end up playing with (and having the best time with) a guy you would have ordinarily passed over on an app or website. - If you see two guys hand-in-hand (especially in gear), they may be a Dom/sub couple as mentioned by @ErosWired. You will need to approach (or be approached by) this situation differently. If a guy is clearly the sub, err against doing anything to him unless and until given permission. - Also, don't interject yourself into a scene in progress if you haven't been invited to do so. It's one thing for tops to be in a circle taking turns on a bottom (which is fine), but if you can see two guys eye-to-eye, locked in a passionate gaze with one another - DO NOT get between them by touching either one of them in any way. They are having a very intense moment, and you don't want to be the one breaking their rhythm. - And if you are in the sling waiting, and nothing is happening, and a couple guys walks over and asks if they can use it - get out of their way and let them. You can always come back afterwards, and would help if you walked around and tried to find a partner that way.

I'm down for that. Just let me know as it gets closer and I can arrange my schedule to suit!

That could work, though I need to plan in advance. Most weekdays I work until 6 or 6:30, but can find a reason to fuck off early with some warning.

This is a good idea. How easy depends on what type of night we go Naked night (preferable, but hard to wear something that will stand out) Clothed night (we can prob come up with some sort of "outfit"

I'd be up for this if we get a good mix of tops, vers, and bottoms. Wouldn't be much fun if all the bottoms said yes, now would it? 😄