hntnhole

Island House, I presume? There is not one iota of doubt in my mind that this happened exactly as related .... KW is fantastic !!!

Bring a piece of duct tape on some tin-foil with you next time. That should take care of the problem. Just remember to take it off when you're finally done .....

I don't quite understand why you feel terrible. You met him, no questions asked about status for quite a while, and when you answered, you told him the truth (thankfully), so risk of passing something serious is minimal (I'm assuming "undetectable = on PReP?) If he didn't ask, that's not your fault. If he had, and you lied, that would be something to feel badly about. But that's not what happened. How then, can you feel that you "deceived" him? You didn't. Look - we all do things we regret, but you have no reason (as I read your post) to feel badly. I agree with our splendid tall slim guy whoneedstoeatmore. Give him some time, offer to discuss anything he has on his mind, and who knows .... it could work out.

Well, sure it matters, but it's not the most crucial thing that matters. I'd place the skill with which the owner of a modestly-sized Cock uses what he has higher than some guy swinging a porn-Cock without any skills in using it. "slam, bam, thank you ma'am" is fine for the straights. We're just more attuned to our mutual Lusts than that.

How are we defining "raunchy", profwhtforhung ??? Strictly? Expansively? That term used to be slang for scatological activities ..... but languages are "living" creations, and always changing around the edges.

I did too, years ago, at a particularly thrilling night at CHC in Chicago. Like you, no dice. I didn't even get one in there, and the Hole was gaping after being fisted.

My heartfelt condolences, BredByJ. It's always sad to lose someone we're close to, and far more so when it's someone we love. Still, one way to deal with the loss is to pretend that all those wonderful moments are still available to you via your memory, and as you page through that special mental "book" of memories, the loveliness of the relationship always remains, and the hurt always fades over time. Give yourself all the time you need to grieve - that's really important. By the same token, carry the wonderful experience with you as life unfolds. Build on it. Expand on it. Use the memories to expand your mind. One day, if you allow it, and in the fullness of time, another guy will catch your eye, and that can be a joy too. Not in the exact same way, of course - but in some important way. My best wishes at this sad time.

Congrats, FunCheerSlut, on coming up with such an innovative thread. To respond, I can't imagine why any guy would want to fuck me, let alone do it to myself. I suppose when I was a kid, riding my bike all the time, I might have had a passable ass. I've heard that riding a bike a lot can make the ass look better .... but the notion is completely foreign to me. Very occasionally I will allow it, but for more ethereal reasons. I don't enjoy the physical act at all.

At the very least. Closer to total asshole (and not in the good sense of the phrase). That clown completely disrespected you, disrespected the scene, and disgraced himself. Good for you for ending the scene politely, and when he attempted to re-take control of YOUR scene, and then wondered "what the big deal was", I hope you simply told him to get the fuck out and that was it. There are some guys that are so insecure, they can only function when they huff and puff and try to inflate their ego by demeaning others - and I'm sorry you ran into one. None of his bullshit is your fault whatsoever. Keep doing what you're doing, and revel in every moment of it.

There are explanations of the "like, dislike etc" doo-dads on the home page, but essentially, the more you post, the more responses you can offer other's input. It's that little heart doo-dad in the bottom right corner. I'm still not sure what all those medals are for, but stick with it - and pretty soon you'll be able to comment and use the like/dislike/thanks/up/down/laugh/ doo-dads.

You beat me to it by about 3 minutes ...... KUDOS, (formerly)ReluctantSlut !!! Please keep us apprised .....

I would interpret your post as more "coming of age" than anything else. You've become aware of who you are and what you need to be fulfilled (no pun intended). I call that progress on your journey through life. Obviously (or it should be) you need to take all the available precautions against serious illness; every single one of them. Sure, there are bugs that we pick up now and then, we get tested regularly, get them treated, and proceed with our lives. You are certainly not "doomed" by anything outside yourself, only your own self-perception of your definition of that word. The fact that you're posting the issue to many other men that have walked the same path tells me you know better than to suggest "doom". You are in control of your life - no one else is. So, as others have suggested above, embrace the realization that bagged Cock just doesn't do it for you. Embrace your sexual needs, and practice them as often as you want to. However: before you do, take every precaution there is to take. Protect your health, so you can plumb the deepest needs of your sexual needs with the firm knowledge that you have done everything you can, there is no such thing as "doom" in your life, because you choose not to allow it. It sounds like you're battling cultural conditioning as much as anything else. Please know: NO one gets to judge you, or your sexual path, or dish out any "doom" bullshit. I'd ask you to 1) get all the precautionary steps you possibly can to protect your health. 2) When those steps are taken and effectivity has been reached, 3) go out and take as many raw Cocks as you want, as often as you want, and revel in your self-anointed Freedom to be the man you were born to be. And be sure to love yourself for the accomplishment. Good luck !!

You're entirely correct, of course. We've never met (at least that I know of)*, and may never meet. Thus, the foundation of my admiration has absolutely nothing to do with physical characteristics. I don't know what you look like physically, and it doesn't matter to me. It's your devotion to your calling that is so impressive, and the fact that you're very able to translate your intellectual abilities into well-written, well-thought out text is just one more attribute. As to a Top appreciating more than merely your sexual talents, some of us find intelligence very sexy. Some of us find the commitment of a bottom hearing (and acting upon) the call to cumdumpery very exciting sexually. We Tops aren't monolithic, we're just like (well, with certain exceptions) other guys, and we find value in all kinds of qualities in others. It's the determination to be the very best we're capable of, at whatever we're called to do that counts. This is one of the reasons I love the darkrooms; we can't really see much, we can only hear the sweet music of men rutting in each other, feeling our way as we slowly move into the mix. Maybe some of the bottoms are "hot". Maybe not. Maybe some of the Tops are too, or maybe not. It doesn't matter one whit, because we're all there to Breed each other, share our Lusts together, and that's the only thing that counts. There is every reason for any Top to want to Breed you. Some may not devote any intellectual efforts into why they need to mate with your particular mind/body, but many Tops know a dedicated cumdump when they find one. There are Tops that have a little bit more going on in their minds than some others, and when we sense the dedication, commitment of a man who's embraced his calling, it turns our Cocks to granite. The old "magnet / iron filings" thing. Thanks for your thoughts. I hope this makes it clear there are mental connections that can be at least as powerful as the sexual/physical connection. *I did attend an annual trade show in Louisville every year for many years, but that was all about business; I didn't go "exploring" - merely suffered through interminable dinners with advertisers. I've also been to the Derby a couple of times. Other than that, I have very little experience with KY.

There's another way to consider the issue ... Yes, it's burning hotttt to be in the midst of a group of men sharing their Lusts together. But it's completely natural for guys like us, and there's nothing "filthy" about being who and what we are. There are plenty of other people on the planet that think what we do is "filthy", and that's their problem for not attempting to understand those different from them. I understand that you're using the word somewhat "tongue-in-cheek"; I do it too sometimes, in the sense that what others may think is filthy is commonplace for me, and I love doing those "filthy" things over and over again. I know you do too, and that's as it should be. Just know that what we do with each other is perfectly natural for us, and with ever deepening Lust. As that old (Jimmy Stewart?) movie says - It's a Wonderful Life !!

Simple. I won't go into it, since I don't think you care to read it - but .... like it or not, you're one of the special ones. Don't take this as flattery or any silly business like that. Take it as acknowledgement that men like you just don't grow on trees.

Slightly off-topic, but the limits would be the same. When I was in business, there was an editor in the LA office who always invited me for dinner at his home with he, his wife and their kid. I had a great working relationship with the father (the editor), as well as his wife. Being born virtually "gaydar-free" even I knew their son was a budding flaming queen, and he apparently sensed that I was gay. I kept a very strict rule that I never mixed business with pleasure, and I wouldn't have fucked that kid anyway - no attraction on my part at all. After several visits, I thanked the editor profusely, but asked if I could take them (the father and mother only) out to dinner (he knew how much I loved Musso & Franks), and that took care of the problem. After that, every time I was out there, we went to M&F. Oddly though, the rest of the employees didn't seem to care for it. By now, it would surprise me not one bit if that kid was hooking his Hole on Hollywood Blvd - right along with all the rest of them. The point is, there are some things (rather few, thankfully) that just don't mix well - business being first among them.

Actually, that is a not a quote of mine - it's the final sentence of the original post by the creator of this thread, opensource.

It feels pretty damn hottttt .... especially out of a well-Bred, hairy Hole ...

Of course !! I believe that when we Breed in backrooms, fuckjoints where other men can watch, appreciate our Lusts, and join in, we're reinforcing the sense of "community" - the wholeness of our sexual identity. We're with others just like ourselves, acting on our innate needs together with many other men of the same sexual requirements. It's an emotionally healthy celebration of who and what we are sexually. I remember years ago when I lived in Chicago, and the Eagle was finally closing. The barbacks would have to come into the fuckroom and clear everyone out, and as we left the bar headed for the parking lots, guys with heavily cum-crusted knees on their jeans - from sucking off Cocks all night - would come stumbling out, huge, shit-eating grins on their faces, other guys with their rumpled jeans hastily pulled up, everyone almost laughing with utter delight at our shared night of sexual abandon. It's a celebration of our Lusts - it's exhilarating to share sex with our brothers-in-the-Life.

Ahhhhh ... thanks for that input. I'd agree - it's not been a long time at all. A couple of things: 1. Given your description of the area in which you (and he, I assume) live, there's a really good chance that he's as conflicted as you are. When we live in repressive areas, or even countries, the defensive reactions are always our first when confronted with an "outside-the-normal-box" situation. He's really dedicated to his profession, he has (as far as you know) relatively little social life, he's warmed to you in what he feels is an acceptable way, he's intelligent, and knows full well how dangerous it could be to let his guard down, yet he came up with the "big bro/little bro" description. 2. I must say that 3 months may seem like a looooong time to you, but - given the strictures of where you live, it's not at all surprising to me that he's at the very least hesitant, and maybe very afraid to let his guard down. In his mind, he's got one helluva lot to lose, and has little idea of what he might have to gain with you. While I don't have knowledge of the cultural situation where you live, that can be a real inhibitor to allowing himself to even consider a "relationship" of some kind. If I were you, I'd continue to stay the course you're on, being his friend/little brother, and very gradually, as obliquely as you possibly can, allow him to understand that there's more - much more - to be had with you. No jumps into the issue, take "baby-steps". Give him all the time he needs, and after another 3 months (which would make 6) there will either be progress or there won't. If, by then, he simply cannot accept the perceived risks to his (and your) position, then gradually and gracefully begin to withdraw. I realize that you think he's everything you want, you're smitten in all kinds of ways, and it would be very tough to gradually begin to separate. If, after 6 months he simply cannot bring himself to warm to your presence in his life, then there's a difficult decision to be made. We shouldn't have to wait for ages to be appreciated. Clearly, you have a ton of attractive characteristics to offer, and you deserve to be happy, as does every other person on Earth. Sometimes, guys can be incredibly obtuse. I'm crossing my fingers that it works out for you, but there's a chance that it may not, which is hardly your fault. Be patient, but ever so slightly, obliquely, almost imperceptibly turn up the heat on this particular stove. If the butter in the pan simply won't melt after 6 months, then it's probably not going to. Give it your best shot, and keep us apprised.

What a refreshing metaphor !!! Sort of like a tachometer with a very special way of indicating rpm's !!! Reminds me of a shirt I used to have - "Bend over - I'll drive". Haven't thought of that shirt in years - I wonder if some guy lifted it a long time ago ...

Some guys are just self-centered, and it doesn't enter their heads to even consider the immutables of getting blown, particularly if they happen to be swinging major meat or are so hot they've never been in the position of having to consider others. It's really sad how some folks just refuse to enlarge, develop their minds.

Thanks, Nightwalker, for a) joining up, and b) this most interesting post. You've received superb input from a couple of the brightest men on BZ, and I hope you're finding it helpful. One thing that has not been mentioned though, is how long has this situation been going on? A year? A month? Several years? Several months? There are occasions that develop wherein a guy can achieve what he wants - but only partially - and that's enough for him. I'm referencing the "big brother/little brother" parameters. Apparently "dad/son" was too much for him, but it was fine for you. Also apparently, "big bro/little bro" is acceptable for you, but you'd rather there be a more intense quality than bro/bro. I'm reading between the lines a bit, but apparently something inspired you to actually join up so you could ask questions of perhaps more experienced men "in the life". That might be interpreted as founded in a bit of frustration at the status quo? I guess what I'm wondering is, on a "1 to 10" scale, how important is it to you that this "friendship" move forward to more than what it currently is? How long has this issue been simmering in the back of your mind? Thanks again for joining up, and offering this most interesting situation. Good luck !!

Well, considering the history of which subset of the RCC the men in long dresses and ruby slippers come from - (the College of Cardinals, if I'm not mistaken), chances are poor that any pope in history has never had his Cock sucked or his ass fucked by another Prince(ss) of the RCC. Which would answer why the really active pedophiles were moved around the global chessboard, parish to parish to parish, rather than drummed out. There'd be only a handful left - most likely Lesbians passing for men.

Some interesting responses above. The point of a darkroom, is to remove the sense of sight, thus requiring us to use other senses - hearing, touch, smell, taste - to navigate. That, in and of itself, can be arousing, and when it occurs in a darkroom filled with Breeding men, well - what could possibly be better !!! Moving slowly, sliding one's foot to avoid stepping on some guy on the floor, hands somewhat extended, feeling our way past raw Cocks rutting in raw Hole ... hard Cocks being sucked, Holes being eaten, listening to the grunts, groans of ecstatic pleasure, smelling the sweat and Sperm of loads already pumped up Holes, tasting the fruits of other men's Lusts .... It's absolutely magnetic .....