hntnhole

Agreed, and thanks for the that. It is entirely unreasonable to expect anything more than "play" based on nothing but the sexual component. Still, I tried to offer the guy that asked about "ownership-play" some advice. The entire meaning of Ownership carries far more depth than merely playing around with some bonds. It carries a far deeper connection than mere "play". Agreed as well, unfortunately. There may well be lots of guys here on BZ that have no idea of the subject. But, that's the way of the world, it seems. Still, there are some of us that took part, remember how enriching the real deal is, was, and are grateful for the depth it brought to our lives. I know I've lived a better life as a Leatherman, despite the fact that I seldom wear the hides anymore. The organizations, gathering places have faded, and it's just too damn hot here for it.

No, I don't think it is, at least within the parameters of a classic Dom/sub construct (Ownership) observant of the Leather Ethic. The answer to that dilemma is, the Dom sends his boy over to a trusted friend (almost certainly also a Leatherman) for use. Less-likely, but certainly possible, the Dom can send his property out to a fuckjoint to take loads. A Cock-hungry sub can invent all kinds of innocuous ways to make his Dom/Owner "aware" that his thirst is not being sated, which then becomes the Dom's issue to figure out. That kind of situation does invite revisiting the initial negotiation, which should be revisited occasionally anyway. If the Ownership relationship (that was awkward, but) is to remain strong and true, consider that both the Dom and the sub are human beings that are constantly growing intellectually, emotionally, sexually, and the original parameters (or contract, as you mention) can be revisited when appropriate. Even in the het world, marriages between opposite sex sometimes need to be refreshed. I remember as a kid, when my mom wanted her own car (we had one at the time, which my dad drove to work every day). They went into their bedroom, closed the door, and the torrent of Swedish was tremendous, and she did get her own car. Another 6-cylinder Chev, unfortunately. We're all living, growing, constantly evolving men, and the flexibility of the limits can and should be revisited occasionally. Some men call it a "time out", where the initial negotiation is suspended for the duration of the exchange. Some call it by other names. The point is, to recognize that it's entirely correct and appropriate to reexamine the foundational bedrock from time to time. If new limits are in order, that's fine. If the differences are irreconcilable, then the two men have grown in different directions, and each has grown, learned, and is a better man. The whole point of Ownership is, one man (often more experienced) enriches the other (often less so) in many amazing ways. That's the goal of Ownership in the first place - or any other loving, caring, enriching relationship, for that matter.

How would tsg know? It's not his business to ask about the wife, or anyone else. It's his business to offer himself to that man who needs him, and who he needs.

Of course you're 100% correct. Perhaps not merely "a part of", but the most important part of Ownership. I know and understand that lots of guys think that Leathermen are just costumed tricks, but there are some of us still around that take The Life seriously. Caring for, seeing to the welfare of, protecting and loving our "property" is one of the biggest thrills we experience. Whether it's a monogamous relationship (highly unlikely), or making sure the sub gets as much extra action as he needs/wants (highly likely), caring for the well being, advancement, increasing his knowledge/understanding of the LeatherLife, keeping him in good health, exercising all facets of his intellectual curiosity, on and on and on - is a huge thrill for a Dom.

Nothing particularly special ..... Pumped it up my favorite "regular" at Slammer ... he's always in the same place, and seems to be a really nice kid. Talked to him for a while in the bar. Sometimes he brings his best buddy (also a hot fuck), but the buddy wasn't there last night. He understands my own peculiar Lusts, and loves getting his Hole fucked full while I wander around elsewhere. He's even backed off on shaving his ass - which is totally delicious. I'm probably one of a dozen or more of his "usuals", and I like that.

Welcome, you guys ... this is the place where everyone gets to air their viewpoints on all kinds of things (even some subjects unrelated to rawfucking each other!) We look forward to hearing more from each of you. Cheers !!

I'm guessing that neither of you are experienced Leathermen, or observers of the Leather Ethic. Thus, some foundational rules: 1. The "negotiation" is paramount, and takes place only with you and the sub. Once, I almost got ripped a new one here on BZ for suggesting meeting in a "neutral" location for the negotiation, for instance having lunch together at some cafe, which is entirely normal where I come from. It still makes me smile. The important thing isn't the location, it's the conversation/negotiation. For a successful scene, each guy must say what he wants truthfully and fully, and share with the other what he wants (and equally important) does not want to happen. A negotiation is as much a "meeting of the minds" as anything else, and crucial to the success of the scene. It sounds like you may be a bit of a novice at arranging Bd/Sm scenes, so thanks for asking about these protocols. Find out exactly what he means by "used". I would suggest that Ownership is out of the question in an initial scene, and don't even attempt it during your first scene. Ownership is serious business, and I'm guessing that neither of you know all that much about the other. 2. As the Dom in charge, it's your scene, and you transmit the agreed upon limits (arrived at during the negotiation between you and the sub only) to the to the other invitee's. You must follow the agreed upon acts to the letter, and be present at all times. The time for expansion of limits is after the initial scene, as an extension of the negotiation. 3. On the day/night of the scene, require his presence, and start the mindfuck well before the others are scheduled to arrive. It sounds to me like he's a novice, and the more you can attune his mind not merely to bottoming, but to submission before the other attendees arrive, the better. 4. To the "rope" issue: Make sure you have a sharp knife handy, in case the sub gets spooked. I prefer a sailing knife, but anything that can cut the bonds quickly and efficiently will do. Safety first. Know your knotwork. There are numerous kinds of knots that the bound guy cannot wriggle out of, but the Dom can release with one quick tug. Look them up, and start with nautical knots. It sounds to me like the scene you're proposing is a Breeding event, with a little Bd thrown in to spice things up. As the Dom, you are 100% responsible for the welfare of the sub, and his well-being is entirely in your hands. Never ever allow a sub under your control to be injured or used in any way other than what is proscribed in the initial negotiation. You, and no one else, are responsible for what does/does not happen, so plan the scene carefully. A hot D/s scene can leave everyone involved grinning like a gang of Cheshire cats, sated and soaked in new, thrilling pleasures. But it does take intensive advance-work. If you'd like, you may message me (or any other experienced Leatherman on BZ, I'm sure) with any further questions. Good Luck !!!

My point exactly. From the Oxford: "the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity". Notice the final word in the quote. Unless there is something extraneous, not naturally produced in load, it's not addictive. The behavior, however laudable and delightful, can be.

Shucks .... in Junior High, swimming class (somewhere around 60 guys) was held, and no swimming trunks - at all. There are two events that I recall: Once a guy got a hardon in the locker room , which was bouncing in front of him when he entered the large room with the pool. He got teased like crazy for weeks .... The other memorable event was when some guy shit in the pool, and I've never seen 60-some guys claw their way out of a swimming pool faster. It was like a naked Three Stooges scene .... still makes me laugh.

Unless he directly asks you that question, I don't see why you would feel obliged. For all you know, sonny might have told daddy all about it. - and that's how daddy knew to contact you. Then again, maybe not. Don't lie, of course - but I don't think you're obligated to volunteer information that may or may not prove unfortunate. Why risk it - just enjoy the (almost literally) Cock-Next-Door !!! One day, down the road, you can casually mention something like "does being a hot fuck run in the family?" If daddy didn't know, I'd buy tickets to that extravaganza !!! 😇

I don't understand that either. Even if a guy lives in a small burg somewhere, the tests / meds are available via delivery services to one's doorstep. It couldn't be easier ...

Don't forget to check out the darkroom ... I told one of the front-desk guys it needs to be expanded. There are a couple of gh booths just to the west of the darkroom, and they are not used much. It would double the size of the darkroom, and that'd be a cheap, excellent little project !!!

I'm with BBArchAngel, however I wouldn't go so far as to call your actions a "mistake". I'd call it not much more than not carrying out your role in the scene. Maybe the bottom thought you were merely a Top that could be pushed around (since that's what he did), maybe he thought you weren't sufficiently Dom to suit him, maybe he didn't think anything at all, and is merely a "pushy bottom". The only misstep you made was accommodating the guy. If you allow it, some bottoms will take advantage. So what to do? Next time, set the limits both when you're cruising (i.e. before you actually meet the sub), and reinforce them when the guy arrives for the scene. If, in the future, any bottom tries to seize the moment and Dom you, end the scene and kick him out. There are times when a soft-hearted Top can be a scene-ender, so tuck that sense of polite manners into a jar and put it on the shelf - at least until the sex is finished. We'll be waiting to hear about how the next scene works out !!!

What ??? Help you out ??? Like they deserve the fruits of YOUR labors ??? They're the idiots that need some "help", and certainly not from your richly earned buffet. Let them earn their own, and then see how willing they are to accept "help" from others.

Agreed. Put another way, part of raw Breeding is the "connection" we can create with a "brother". It can last for a long time, it can last for a few moments, but we've "connected" deeply, spiritually, carnally with another man, and that's what's so compelling about raw fucking. Now that we can take pills to protect our heath to a very substantial measure, it's like the old, pre-hiv days. There are some guys that fetishize condoms, and that's fine. But the rest of us don't require barriers anymore, and that ineffable, sweet, lovely, magical connection is well-worthy of pursuing over and over and over again.

On the whole, your reply is spot on. The above sentence though, does not ring true to me. To straights, who have never bothered to entertain a moment's worth of thought as to why things are what they are, it may seem that cumdumps are emulating the female reproductive role, but that is hardly true for the men who actually do it. There are perhaps exceptions, (i.e. men who use female clothing, etc), but that's a different issue that may result in cumdumpery or may not. I believe that men who practice cumdumpery are men who have either a) spent the time and effort to answer the question of why via a process of intellectual work, questioning their sexual drive/identity, and arrived at some answers unrelated to females at all, or b) their innate nature was recognized by an experienced man who helped them realize their calling. We don't need to emulate or even consider what straight folks do, or why they do it. We aren't straight. Even the bi guys don't identify as that. They say they're bi. Cumdumps aren't "emulating" anything - they're doing what makes sense to them, what they believe they must, structuring their sexual lives according to their own self-perceptions. Whether that realization comes via self-introspection or via input from a more experienced man who recognizes what the cumdump does not yet recognize in himself, the result is focused not on emulating women, but on self-realization, self-fulfillment, self-acceptance. If this is "misogynistic", merely because females have no important place in the issue as I see it, then that's ok with me.

Another productive thing Tops can say when they're about to Breed: Lean over his back so your mouth is close to his ear and quietly say or whisper something like "now I'm going to make you one of MY boys ..." They usually love that.

Apparently, I make guttural, growling sounds when I unload. Does that count? I always try to give good verbal feedback - sometimes it's just not more than "good boy", or something innocuous, but at least something. I think it's important to encourage the bottom in at least some small way, even if it wasn't a mind-blowing fuck.

I seldom hear this, but when I do, I just say something like "sure - I showered just before I left to come here ...."

LOL ..... never heard THAT one before !!!

I'm not sure I 'get it' regarding A.I. Sure, a couple of those - well - depictions? - were quite well done, a couple weren't, but what's the goal here? Produce phony porn? Elevate the male physique beyond almost anyone's ability to achieve it? Challenge Michelangelo? Pictures can't fuck, porn actors can and do. Maybe a handful of us here on BZ actually do look like gods ... and the rest of us don't. Are we supposed to feel 'less-than' because we don't look like a sex-god? Perfection is alright I guess, but I'd rather fuck regular guys - like me.

Agreed, 100%

I am not familiar with the complexities of your culture, but I rather doubt it. He may be wrestling with coming to terms with his own issues of sexuality, and that can be quite a process. Just be there for him, in whatever way he seems to need you. A cheerful smile can do wonders for a man going through a difficult time; give him plenty of that. Remember that the turtle won the race, not the hare ....

How about PIG ... it wouldn't be an insult to me. I've been called a pig before - all I did was smile, nod, and keep on doing what I was doing. "Sticks & Stones" - blah blah blah.

I've written my perspective before on BZ, but it bears repeating: I simply adore cumdumps. These are men who have done the introspection, come to their self-realization, done the work (or, in some cases, had it done to them), and arrived at their self-realized Truth. I'd trust my wallet to a cumdump before I'd entrust it to some haughty, self-centered Top. I know I'm in the minority on this particular thread, and I don't care. Without the dedication to their sublime calling, where would we Tops be? Going hungry - that's where.