Tell Me Your Thoughts On Hookup Sites/Apps & Finding Sex

[find91]

8 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

That kind of behavior is incredibly bizarre to me.  i've tried to figure it out and usually decide it just some closeted guy who is too afraid to actually act on their needs or desires? What really is strange to me is when the go so far as to get you address and then ghost. When at home i've gotten to the point of giving cross streets and having guys text me when they are close, that works pretty well.

But at a gay resort? i would imagine that if you've gotten out of the closet enough to check into a gay resort that you're beyond the fear of hooking up, but maybe not. Idk, but flaking and ghosting doesn't happen when face to face, or even on the other side of a GH lol.  It's a phenomena born out of online space. 

Actually most flakes are just assholes looking for wank material. Been flaked by young guys and older. It's not just closet cases a lot of "out and proud" gay men do it. 

[find91]

I find most hookup apps are bullshit. I have met some great guys online but I have also and most recently, met a lot of flakes and lossers. I try not to have any expectations when I meat anymore. 

Also I find ones age plays a big part on how you experience hookup apps. When you're young, there is still bullshit but you at least get a response and actually get contacted. As you age the fuckery and bullshit increase exponentially. No it's not from from just twinks a lot of older guys are flakes or have damaged personalities.

[Qban]

17 minutes ago, find91 said:

I find most hookup apps are bullshit

Yes.  This.  Exactly.

[tallslenderguy]

45 minutes ago, find91 said:

I find most hookup apps are bullshit. I have met some great guys online but I have also and most recently, met a lot of flakes and lossers. I try not to have any expectations when I meat anymore. 

Also I find ones age plays a big part on how you experience hookup apps. When you're young, there is still bullshit but you at least get a response and actually get contacted. As you age the fuckery and bullshit increase exponentially. No it's not from from just twinks a lot of older guys are flakes or have damaged personalities.

i've had similar experience and have reached a similar conclusion about the bs nature of hookup apps.

i think a big part of the issue derives from the fact that most communication is visual. Some studies place the percentage of communication that is visual at >85%.   Online apps are missing  the visual and tonal cues of personal contact.  It seems using them handicaps us. 

i also think there are a lot of people who simply do not know their self.  Add to that, lots of people have not acquired a skill set for communicating in writing. If you add the two together, you get (i think) a lot of the "bull shit" we experience on hookup apps. 

my reaction to online profiles has changed over time. Some profiles used to shock me, later  my response evolved into frustration, then amusement, and now resignation.  i think (guess?) that most guys are there to "hook up" in some form or another, but often have no pics, or inaccurate pics, and little to no self disclosure. Apps have even made it easy with drop down menus to choose your traits from.  Yet, one finds 'profiles' with little or nothing in them.  i still always wonder about those guys. Don't they realize we can't see them?  That the only way we can be attracted to them is if they put their self out there? 

When it comes to apps, i think if sex is not going to die off in the gay community (lol, yeah, i know, it'll never happen), guys are going to have to learn about introspection and self knowledge, and then learn how to put what they find in writing. 

[rawsatyr]

The thing with THE APPS... yes it's a lot of S,HIT and MISS! Mostly MISS! But some in these fishing expedition turn out to be KEEPERS! The flakiness is really disturbing though and annoying are those with the secretive profiles (no picture) at best a grainy 'body-shot' that doesn't impress, asking all kinds of personal questions. And the ones with blank profiles sending you dick pics with nothing else, or just fragments of sentences...

Another big irritation are the ones obsessed with 'parTying' who claim to be ON MY WAY, 30 min, 10 min, and hours later NO TRACE. Maybe lost their phone, their keys, their minds before they get out the door.

And the cat-fishing and ghosting. And several of my play-friends with HIGH FOOT TRAFFIC report that things come up missing all the time, especially when they are fishing beyond the deep 'cultural divide' in places like Memphis. There are even RUMORED to be 'gangs' at work, targeting 'gullible fags' and do 'gay-for-pay' by basically looking for drugs, money and valuables if not an outright home invasion later. My last 'orgy' at another dude's house (sexy white New Yorker) with a preference for thuggish black guys... later turned into a disaster. I had missed two earlier players who I was told were 'kinda sketchy' and one and then the other, always had to get up for dubious reasons. By the time I got there another single black guy was there, with a boner ready to top. Although younger, he wasn't much to look at and TUBBY around the waist and tits and breathed like a pig during sex. I had to fake my enthusiasm) . Sometimes those scenarios get me extra hard, feeling like a total slut. I let my friend and the dude do most the fucking and kept jerking while telling them how hot it was JUST WATCHING! Hey, lie with sincerity!

Sadly though for my friend, later he noticed a number of missing valuables. Made me feel awkward as he texted me. The other guys of course when he texted them, COMPLETELY SILENCE as they fell of the radar. He spend the next few days scouring pawn shops and filing police and insurance reports. And he is worried his money-bags husband (who was on business in LA at the time) will maybe have a fit for him ONCE AGAIN having cheated with TRASH! At least my man and I have an OPEN WHORING SEASON policy!

Personally, I make sure my valuables are put away and my wallet is NOT in my pants. I even eroticized the thought of that I'm inviting 'potential predators', scoundrels, desperados and druggies into my house... living vicariously and having UNSAFE (natural, raw) sex with them. Guys who you could NEVER invite over socially or have anything remotely in common with.

And while some experiences were INCREDIBLY HOT having me yearn to know WHO he was, what his name was and 'damn, I wished I got his number', most were one-hit wonders. I even told one guy from BBRT I hooked up with, I ONLY HOOK UP ONCE! It's a total lie but he was hands-down the ugliest MF I ever scored with. The only way I was able to DO IT (when we hooked up) was by reminding myself that RAW IS LAW and I took the NO LOADS REFUSED pledge...

On the up and up: I have become close friends with several of the guys I met on apps over the years. For example: In the days of GAYdotcom I met one teenager who I hit it off with. He would be the one who inadvertently pozzed me, but he also became my husband. Another gaydotcom trick (frat boy) became close enough (with me and later my bf/hubby) that we treat him like family. Well, I fucked with him about 15 years ago, way before meeting my man. The last time he visited from San Diego I insisted he would breed my man too, you know, for the complete incestuous 'bonding' we practice in the bb brotherhood! 

We have at least TEN or so guys we met on apps who are interesting and (mentally/financially) stable enough that we still hang out, invite each other, sometimes just fuck and get a thrill knowing that we all share a very positive, affirmative attitude towards bold-faced, unapologetic PROMISCUOUS BAREBACKING! It's electrifying when we hang out in a group!

Edited November 14, 2019 by rawsatyr
typos

[HardOneLA]

Why are there so many flakes out there?  A week in advance I posted an Ad on BBRT that I was having a pig breeding party on Monday, 9/11 - with me being the pig.  15 guys requested invites, and I accepted 12; the other 3 were total bottoms so they wouldn't fit in for me.  On Monday I was all prepped - cleaned out, little high, poppers, porn, etc.  And then not one guy showed up or texted me.

As far as I'm concerned things like this are just like any other social or business event - when you accept an invitation you have an obligation to attend, or, notify the host.  I guess there are no more manners and common courtesy out there anymore; otherwise too many people are tweaked and irresponsible.  Thanks for letting me vent and as always, looking forward to cock to fuck & breed me in L.A.  Oink!

[Pigmut]

21 hours ago, NLbear said:

Agree. Btw the hotel doesn't advertise as a gay hotel but 80-90% of the guests are gay men (probably because the sleazy bars and clubs are in crawling distance...). 

Which hotel and what city ?

[NLbear]

1 hour ago, Pigmut said:

Which hotel and what city ?

Hotel Playa del Sol in Play del Ingles, Gran Canaria (Spain).

[PissPigBrooklyn]

5 hours ago, HardOneLA said:

Why are there so many flakes out there?  A week in advance I posted an Ad on BBRT that I was having a pig breeding party on Monday, 9/11 - with me being the pig.  15 guys requested invites, and I accepted 12; the other 3 were total bottoms so they wouldn't fit in for me.  On Monday I was all prepped - cleaned out, little high, poppers, porn, etc.  And then not one guy showed up or texted me.

As far as I'm concerned things like this are just like any other social or business event - when you accept an invitation you have an obligation to attend, or, notify the host.  I guess there are no more manners and common courtesy out there anymore; otherwise too many people are tweaked and irresponsible.  Thanks for letting me vent and as always, looking forward to cock to fuck & breed me in L.A.  Oink!

It used to be about a 30% rate of people would actually show up so one would expect three or four of your guys to show. But as of late I hear more and more stories like this where only one or two  or none at all actually show. It is sad.

[blkoraltm]

This is why I wish that Bathhouses returned to their heyday.  Growing up b4 hookup apps, and going to West Side Club, Man's Country and Steamworks when it was the best option for a hookup was amazing!  Even if you had a flake or someone uninterested on a Friday night at El Mirage with the number of guys you could always find someone in the darkroom.

Edited November 15, 2019 by blkoraltm
Type

[Guest]

I think it can be hot if everyone stays anon but pics before meet are a turn off for me. I like servicing anon cock by cornering myself in a situation. If a 300lb bald nasty perv wants to raw seed me, I want him to seed me, but if I see the pic first I might wimp out. Like to have my legs restrained and be blindfolded. Stall and rest stop action is always fun. No pics that arnt cocks or holes. 

[bearuuse]

I find I use hook up sites more for staying in touch than for hooking up. Hottest guy I met in a while was in the old fashioned sauna way - we just use apps to keep in touch and fix up meets 

apps generally get more selective, and that means people filter out so many people that (if they saw in person with less “choice”) they would go for 

 

apps have their place,  but the old fashioned cruising place with a small selection and immediate need had a lot going for it - hope I don’t sound too old and nostalgic 

[Oldercumslut]

The last couple of days have been really frustrating on all Apps.  Chatting then getting ghosted.  People not responding.   The ones who take the time to say thank you but no thank you are few and far between.  I can deal with the Russian Bots and Spam.  That crap has always been around.  Hell back in the day when it was mainframe to mainframe IRC, people were even trying to sell Avon and Amway.    B

But the apps have their place.  Because of where I live, there isn't a lot of club scene and apps are generally all there is.  So I guess I learn to deal with it.

I do miss Craigslist every so often.

[travelingbi]

On 1/9/2020 at 6:25 AM, Oldercumslut said:

I do miss Craigslist every so often.

Like you, I do miss Craigslist. As flaky as CL could be, it was always, by far, my best source for finding guys to breed me. Doublelist has been alright. And I hope as more guys find out about it, that it will get better. But, it's only marginally helpful at the moment. 

There are of course flakes on all websites and apps. I find that the longer a conversation goes on, the less likely they are to actually hook up. They'll normally turn out to be just pic collectors or guys getting off on fantasy. 

[Pozlover1]

I get nothing. I’m too old, negs are scared of UD or want toxic. I get so many that are fishing for phone numbers. What does a working phone number sell for?  I do avoid PNP and thugs of all colors but I’ve done better with a CB radio. I might get another one. 

Edited January 11, 2020 by Pozlover1