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Interesting discussion here. I'm still firmly in the "ignore" camp. I recently had a guy write me a second time after I ignored his first message. I responded with "sorry not interested". He wrote back "why?". And I replied "I don't owe you an explanation." (I said that because I didn't want to insult his looks). My new rule now is, if a guy writes me twice in a short window of time, he's getting blocked. Just like I don't feel obligated to engage a telemarketer who contacts me, I don't feel obligated to go out of my way to make people I don't know feel good about being rejected by me. Getting a tepid "thanks" or an outright rejection from a guy is far harder on my ego than being ignored. No answer is an answer. I wish more of these chat sites had a way of making people "disappear" from my view and me from their view once it's determined we are not a match. I suddenly feel more empathy for women who have to deal with this type of stuff online and in public from men they are not interested in. It's exhausting.

The process of getting ready to bottom can be rather simple, but there are things we do that can make it very complex. It has five phases (at least for me). I know this thread is about getting the water out, but for the novices out here, I'd thought I'd go a bit deeper. 1 Diet: you need to observe how your diet affects your bowel movements. What things firm up your stool? What things make it messy? Are you taking fiber supplements? Yes Pure for Men is helpful but I've found that psyllium husk tablets are cheaper and work just as well. I take 3 to 6 a day depending on what I've been eating or if I plan a weekend of sex. 2 Timing of meals: it really does matter. We all dread having pigged out on greasy food only to have someone want to fuck us. But that's the breaks. Again this is something you have learn by trial and error. Maybe the meals should be heavier in the morning and lighter as the day goes on. 3 Use of over the counter aids such as Imodium: I only resort to this for weekends where I plan to be fucked over a 24 to 48 hour span. I don't think my body particularly likes it when I use Imodium but for me it seriously slows down all the traffic to my anus. But I've found I've got to take it anywhere from 4 to 8 hours before I plan to play. I've even been known to take it the night before. It really does make the clean out process a cinch. It's my insurance policy of sorts. 4 Cleaning out: the crazy thing here is that water is your friend and your foe. I'm not into fisting so I don't do those really long and deep cleanings. I control very strictly the amount of water I shoot up there, the pressure of the water I shoot up there, how long I hold the hose in there (eg 8 seconds) and how long I hold the water before evacuating (75 seconds). I use a Squatty Potty to release the kink in my bowels (or simply prop my feet up on something). Note: you have to totally relax and let the water run out. It doesn't work for me to force it out or spray it out. That relaxed motion of letting the water run out helps me avoid water getting trapped up there (along with propping my feet up). I douche several times until the water is clear. Usually when you see what looks like clear mucus come out your hole, you need to stop right there. 5 Testing: To make sure there is no water left, I use a butt plug while standing to fuck my hole. I usually stand in the tub while doing this in case the water that escapes is not clear. The final test is to close the lid of the toilet and actually sit on the butt plug while taking a hit of poppers. I really work my hole all over the dildo. Because my hole is relaxed and most open then, any additional water comes out. Then I'm ready to get fucked. So I say ALL THAT to say there are a lot of moving parts. Our bodies are different so this may not work for you. It's really about trial and error. If you have a mishap, try to understand why. And for goodness sake, if you mess it up, take it easy on yourself. Your asshole does have a day job. LOL.

Pride would keep me from occupying a sling for too long. The longer you are in the sling without anyone fucking you, the more your stock price plummets. If no one is approaching you, it seems to repel others and suddenly you are at risk of becoming invisible. Foot traffic near the sling drops off. I saw this guy hog a sling recently in Barcelona at a sex party. He wasn't a hottie (but not ugly either) but the guys simply ignored him after a while. While he lay there, tons of guys were fucking just feet away from him. I agree that the sling is a good way to advertise you're a bottom but let's not forget that it may not be where a top wants to fuck you. You could very well be missing out on a load in a cabin because you didn't vacate the sling. How's that for irony? LOL.

Interesting approach. (Straight) men typically do not like to be looked in the eye at all by other men unless they are acquaintances. It's as if you are questioning their masculinity if you do. So maybe by focusing more on the crotch and less on the eyes shows them you are not trying to dominate them. It's still worth exercising a bit of caution (even with the crotch watching) out here in these streets. I still think should any type of aggression or assault occur, the gay guy will be blamed for provoking the straight guy. That sucks of course but we as gays are still in the minority.

It's still open. I was there about a month ago. It's not my favorite place because your clothes stink terribly from the cigarette smoke. The darkroom is pitch black dark (and of course I was naughty by using my cell phone light to look around). It turned out that was important because there is a step down to get in the darkroom and it can be a little tricky if you don't see it. There are a set number of lockers for your belongings or if you want to strip down. I prefer S.L.U.T club in Hamburg way more than Talstrasse 8.

At home I use coconut oil. It's odourless and tasteless if a top wants to eat me out. It's solid at room temperature but if it gets too warm, it liquefies. Therefore I tend not to use it when I'm out. When I'm out, I use Pjur Back Door.

I don't like to serve gravy so I will try to weasel out of bottoming if I can't clean. A few months ago at the beach, my fuck bud wanted my ass. I was unsure about it but I had been taking tons of fiber pills. He plowed right in and the runway was clean. If it had been dirty, the ocean was right there. LOL. When I top, it really depends on my mood how picky I am. If I find a not so clean bottom, that's usually the end of the fuck. And I'll usually tell the guy. As awkward and embarrassing as it is, I think most bottoms want to know. I'll then go wash off and choose another hole.

When I read the title of the post, my mind went in a totally different direction. I thought it was going to be about how bottoms could team up to lower the costs of traveling for sex. But I guess that's tricky as bottoms can be competitive and the fur might fly if one is paying half the hotel costs and the other is getting all the action. And then taking this into an entirely different direction, I never understood why more tops don't offer to whore out visiting bottoms for a donation. I get turned on by the idea of a top bringing guys to the hotel to fuck me or him taking me out to a local park (someplace I'd never venture on my own) to get guys to do me.

I get exactly what you mean tallslenderguy. Over the years, I have developed something akin to relationships with tops that I don't see that often due to distance. We are both into each other physically and sexually. In fact, I'll even invite them on all expense paid holidays where we are monogamous with each other for that week. If I had several tops that I could regularly be with, I would gladly give up anonymous sex. I think I'll try to move in this direction in 2019. But it only works if the tops are into it too. Maybe my mindset will change again, but these days, I don't see much value in being community ass or trying to get chosen by community dick.

Thanks OP. Nice post. I prefer quality over quantity these days - and regulars over anonymous dick. I also constantly run these algorithms in any group setting where I try to figure out what and who to do to minimize STDs. And I always say a silent prayer for the guys who just bend over and take every single cock or fuck every single ass. I got a nice dose of Hep C doing that a few years ago (now cured thanks to a clinical trial). All you need is a top to fuck you with blood on his cock from fucking a Hep C positive bottom and then bam it's your problem. For this reason, I will not allow tops to enter my hole immediately after pulling out of another bottom. I will wipe his dick off with a towel or if I'm really pressed will suck it and spit it out. Maybe I've avoided a few STDs because of this, but who knows? So yes, quality over quantity. In 2019, I'd rather have 50 loads (one a week) with no STDs than 100 loads and three STDs. I know that all it takes is one load to get something, but I've been in the backroom of Bull in Berlin at 4 am and thought "hmmm, somebody's leaving here with an STD tonight!" It's all about calculated risks.

Most usually mention Berlin but I have taken an impressive amount of cock and cum in Hamburg, just an hour away from Berlin.

Hide it in the trunk of your car (if you have one) or buy a small suitcase, and a lock for it, and keep it under your bed. Don't pick a loud color though.

A few weeks ago while I was in Fuerteventura, I was at the beach with a friend. He asked if he could give me a massage. I knew that was not a great idea because he loves playing with my ass, but I said yes. After 5 minutes, he had a raging hardon and said he wanted to fuck. It was late afternoon/early evening and we were on a deserted stretch of the beach. He mounted me and was fucking me deep. In the distance, I see a hetero couple walk by but there was no point in stopping then. I didn't intend to put on a show but sometimes shit happens.

I won't hook up with anyone who won't give me a phone number so we can exchange at least a couple of text messages. It is the only way I will give anyone my address. Besides, I need a way for the authorities to track him down if anything happens. I never use the phone number to contact the guy after the hookup. I revert back to the app or website where I first met him if I want a repeat. That way, I don't interfere with his personal life/relationships in any way. Asking for a number is (in my view) a small price to pay to have raw sex. It also discourages flaky behavior. I fully understand if people don't want to give out their number but those are my rules so that I feel at ease. I figure if I'm not willing to share a phone number then I might as well go someplace like a bar or sauna and have truly anonymous sex. The other dealbreaker is if a guy insists on kissing beforehand. I know some people really really like it but for me it's all about the chemistry. I know it sounds weird but I'd rather rim your clean hole than kiss you.

Yes generous. I've been known to provide airline tix, hotels, meals etc - but it takes time to get to gold status lol. Just spent several days in the Canary Islands with one of my favorite tops.

Happy to spend time with guys into fucking chub ass. And I'm kind and generous to my tops.

I get tested at least twice a year. If I feel I've caught something, I get it checked out immediately. I've been around the block, so I'd advise young people who are "out there" to get tested regularly and definitely for HIV and Hepatitis C because those are the ones that if left unchecked can wreak havoc on your body over time. There's no shame in getting tested. Just say you were with someone and you found out they had something. No need to run down every trick you've had. It's not a confessional. ? Also, I was kind of shocked when a doctor told me that he believes that if you don't have symptoms, you don't need to test and treat. Anyway, I think the health care system approaches this stuff the wrong way. If left to me, I would probably offer DISCOUNTS on insurance to people who came in for a full panel of tests twice a year and showed interest in helping others stay healthy.

I was there two weeks ago. Don't think I saw anyone use a condom.

There's this guy in my neighborhood that I often see online. He checks my page out and sometimes I check his out, but neither of us made a move until tonight. He sent me a few pictures that were way hotter than any in his profile. I reply with some of my sluttiest pics. He says his bf will be home in 40 minutes so it will have to be a quickie. As soon as he said he had a sling, I ran to the bathroom to start prepping. The preparation didn't take long because I regularly take fiber pills which makes cleaning out so easy. I got a little lost finding his place but made it there in the end. I stripped immediately because at that point we had about 20 minutes to fuck. He compliments me on my huge bubble butt as I get in the sling. I then take a hit of poppers and he starts plowing my hole. He said it wouldn't be a problem if his bf walked in, but I never trust guys who say that! I'm not into running for my life while a pissed off bf pursues me with a kitchen knife! I'm high on poppers and he is trying hard to keep from cumming too fast. He said he wanted the sex go on a bit longer. Well I wanted the load so I started milking him with my ass muscles and asking him to give me his load. His body starts to jerk and there was no denying what was happening. He was shooting up the club! He leaned on my stomach for a bit before I jumped out of the sling and threw my clothes on. I put my tee-shirt on backward at first, but managed to tell him he can have my ass anytime he needs it. That's what neighbors do, right? As I reach my car, I see two men getting out of a car. One looks over at me. I thought hmmm this might be the bf. When I arrive home, the guy who fucked me texts me to say that as soon as I left, the bf arrived with a friend. If I had been another 30 seconds in the apartment, we would have crossed paths. I'm fingering the load in my hole now. Boy that was a close call. And it just goes to show that hoes are very efficient when they want to fuck your bf. Pull the panties to the side and slide through! I've just put an ad up on BBRT asking if anyone is interested in sloppy seconds. No use letting this natural lube go to waste!

A couple of people have disagreed with some of the points I have raised and I take no issue with that. I think some of the insults are unfortunate, but I tend not to take things personally when I don't know the parties involved and they don't know me. For the record, I am not anti PrEP. I'm not convinced that one should be taking drugs as prevention. Truvada isn't exactly an aspirin: https://aidsinfo.nih.gov/drugs/406/truvada/0/patient Also, the insurance industry is actually discriminating against gay men who take it: https://www.advocate.com/commentary/2017/12/07/are-these-companies-discriminating-against-prep-users The article states that insurers are unsure about the long-term effects of the drug, the point I was making earlier. Personally, I don't think HIV is the scariest STD out there. Hep C is. There is a cure for it but insurers are hesitant to pay for the treatment. I read quite a few posts on here about guys excited about going to bb parties now that they're on PrEP. They seem oblivious to the fact that they are at high risk for Hep C in a group setting.

Guy #1: HIV neg, sexual from age 20 to 65, on PrEP the entire time, stops PrEP, dies at 70. (45 years of taking the drugs) Guy #2: HIV+, sexual from age 20 to 65, on PrEP plus one extra drug, dies at 70. Don't see a huge difference other than guy ±1 doesn't have to take the pills (like guy #2) but chooses to. I'm not faulting guys for PrEP but I think there is this false sense that somehow they're winning. In regards to the long-term effects of the drugs, it will take time before we know. Big Pharma isn't trying to kill gay men - in fact, they'll make more money the longer we live. But we shouldn't forget they are more interested in sales and profitability than our health. Now if they developed a vaccine, they'd have my full respect. But there's no money in the cure. The money is in the pills. And I do believe most gay men these days are dying from other diseases not even related to HIV, which is why I am even more impressed that big pharma has managed to convince HIV neg men that PrEP is somehow the key to their longevity.

I don't think anyone wants to have an incurable disease that could kill you or cause others to discriminate against you, but I have a different take on this. If you are on PrEP, you are basically taking the same meds as poz guys...so what's the benefit of being neg if you are going to eat the same pills everyday as the poz guys? Now that's a question I would love to debate. No one's talking about the long-term impact on health of taking the meds. I envision neg guys being extremely envious of the poz undetectable guys taking loads and said sign me up for the meds. Is it then logical to think that one day we will undergo preventative chemo to avoid cancer? I used to seriously question why anyone would willingly ingest pills to avoid something. If it's to cure something or prolong life, yes, I get it. Big pharma is sitting back laughing at neg guys. Why? They've figured out how to cash in on gay men's fear of HIV. I'm one of the few who think HIV was introduced (intentionally) into the population to thin it out. So I'm waiting for the next sexually transmitted disease to be introduced and for companies to then turn around and sell us pills to stay alive.

Hook up with a guy right in front of the sling lizard, essentially forcing him to watch you get fucked but also blocking others from getting to him to fuck him. I'm petty. I admit it. Petty Labelle. LOL.

Guys usually assess my age as 10-14 years younger than what I really am, which goes to show that if you are reasonably good to your body, you will be very competitive on the market as you get older. I do think men over 35 would be better off cruising in person at bars, saunas etc than using apps exclusively. As someone who doesn't fit the typical mold, I don't get picked if I get on an app as an older, versatile bottom. But if I'm at a venue, I'm quite likely to get fucked or fuck someone because I stand out. I'm fortunate enough to be able to travel as much as I want, so that adds even more to the possibilities. The only thing that is tough is finding a suitable mate for a relationship. Most guys my age are set in their ways or have made life decisions that make a relationship a bit tougher to manage. I've been chased for a while by a guy half my age but I really don't want a project or to be a mentor. I need a partner who has more to offer than just sex.

Find a way to come out without making it into a thing. For example, instead of saying "I'm gay", say something like "I used to go to NY a lot with my ex. He was really into Broadway shows." Or whatever else you want to say. Then the workout buddy knows what's up and you can relax. And he knows you are available. I'm not sure how old you are, but one of the things I have learned as I age is to stop getting worked up over potentially heterosexual men just because they show me a little attention. Yes we are sexual beings but not everything has to be about sex. Gay men can benefit immensely from having straight male friends. And who doesn't want more genuine friends in their life? The way I see it, there are a few scenarios here: 1) keep him as a friend/workout buddy (no sex); no risk at all here 2) come on to him and get rejected; perhaps no more friendship 3) fuck him but then things could get complicated and mess up your relationship 4) it becomes a real relationship and you live happily ever after together I guess you have to decide what you really want and what you are willing to risk to get it. By the way, I had the same thing happen to me a couple of years ago and I chose scenario 1. We are still friends to this day. Yes I would fuck him but I'm proud of myself for not pushing it. Besides, I get plenty of dick so I don't have to have his. ?