tallslenderguy

i'm glad you do not "... intend to delete and disappear." If you and other people like yourself, delete and disappear, it seems to me "the future...for this site" would be more of the stuff that you are "sick of," and fewer of the thoughtful posts and threads like this one you started. i get it, i to work in healthcare, on the front lines. It's a constant fight and challenging effort to be caring and care, it costs. When i step back and try to get perspective, i tend to think that communities like BZ are a microcosm of the world. Albeit, a sub culture in many respects; our outside the norm attributes do not remove the things we have in common with the larger group we are a sub group of though. When i look at the bigger picture of the world, i am impressed by how drastically things can change, and often quickly. To me there seems to be a precarious balance in most of life, cultures. i see culture as a collection of individuals, like yourself. i think the most (if not the only?) real power we exercise to influence culture is in what we do with our individual life. i hope that you regroup and hang in, continue to post and counterbalance the "zero clue..." voices.

Bout 10 minutes ago. Got a regular FB i've written about before, young bi muscle stud who's always horny (lucky me). He hits me up often, sometimes 2x a day, a lot of times when i'm at work and cannot, but He never gives up and it's turned into a nice relationship. i'm always waiting naked and ass up, door open. Sometimes He flips me on my back, always comes a couple of times. He's getting more vocal, less shy, which helps me know He is enjoying Himself... i sure as fuck am, involuntary "oh fuck" coming out of me as well as groans and moans of pleasure. Today He asked if He could suck on me first, He wanted to try it. i'm not into getting my penis touched or sucked, not that it doesn't feel good, it does/did, but i explained to Him that my orgasm is when a Man has an orgasm inside of me, it's what fulfills me sexually. Still, i said okay and He didn't make me cum that way, it just made Him hard and then He flipped me on my stomach and penetrated me and fucked me good. Damn, so good. i'm sloppy wet right now and feel soooooo good.

i have a mac book. i downloaded without issue, filled out all the questions, but it did not auto calculate. i hit the reset button thinking that might do it, but of course, it only erased all the answers to the questions.

i think "force and capitulation" can extend to physical, but i think it starts with an attitude of bullying and presumption. To me the bullying part is an effort to compensate. You used the word "bluff" in another response, with i think fits perfectly. i feel similarly about role play (which is just a personal feeling on my part, not making universal judgements). The feelings i am having when i bottom or feel submissive, are real, they do not need to be forced, bullied, coerced... and to me, if the response is capitulation, it's not 'real' or the same as submission. When a particular kink of Top evokes feelings of submission from me, there is no force involved or necessary, it's a natural response to Who and how He is, opposites attracting. A rapist will sometimes tell their victim: "you know you want it." To me, that is extreme bullying, force, capitiulation. But there is a situation where chemistry is there and both parties experience it an a Top may say: "you know you want it" and it is true. The first is presumption, the second is real knowledge of the other person and reading and experiencing the attraction and bonding of opposites. To me, that is an almost magical experience.

Wow, yet another reason why i love this community of guys. Thanks ErosWired for starting this thread, and thanks to all who have thoughtfully contributed. The notion/disposition of human hierarchy is one of the things that is/has evolved out me during my life. Not that it doesn't exist, i just don't consider it a model to aspire to or live by. Any more, i am bemused by the variations of Putins in the world, i see them as the opposite of how they present, i.e., weak, pathetic and overcompensating. i do think nature is rife with examples of opposites though. Taking it down to the smallest level, there are positively charged ions, negatively charged ions and neutral ions. The charge on the electron and proton are exactly the same size (i.e. equal), but opposite. Of course, humans are more complex than individual ions and, as far as we know, ions don't have stuff like emotions or cognition... further studies are needed. i believe the strongest and most stable bonds occur between equal opposites and the notion off inferior/superior is inherently unstable (50% of 'traditional' marriages end in divorce). my point is, i think the notion of say Top or bottom superiority/inferiority (respectively) is more of an embellishment or construct than a reflection of intrinsic attraction. i think force and capitulation are a poor imitation or substitution for natural attraction, connection and bonding between opposites. Not suggesting that sexuality (male or otherwise) is a simple proposition, but i have come to believe that things like "role play" are just that, "play." To me, stuff like that gets in the way of discovering and experiencing what it actually there, that it's a form of denial or disbelief.

i don't think being made love to and being used are necessarily mutually exclusive.

Here is an excerpt from the link blackrobe provided (thanks blackrobe). The law reform happened 2 years ago so it's a little strange to me that the map ErosWired provided from the same source doesn't seem to reflect that? (the map was updated 4/2022?). "ESHB 1551 reduces penalties for HIV exposure from a felony to a misdemeanor, requires specific intent to transmit HIV and for transmission to occur, and removes the requirement for sex offender registration. Before this reform, the law carried a felony conviction (punishable by up to life in prison) for exposure, which required neither intent to transmit nor that transmission occurred." It is striking to me that the former WA law carried "felony conviction... which required neither intent to transmit nor that transmission occurred." i think it's important to remember that half the US voted to elect a vice president a few years ago who is openly anti gay (pence). This from the ACLU "Sodomy laws began to be used in a new way, distinctly against gay people, in the late 1960's. As the young gay rights movement began to make headway, and the social condemnation of being gay began to weaken, social conservatives began to invoke sodomy laws as a justification for discrimination. In nine states, sodomy laws were explicitly rewritten so that they only applied to gay people. Kansas was the first state to do that in 1969. Kansas was followed in the 1970's by Arkansas, Kentucky, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, Tennessee, and Texas. In two states, Maryland and Oklahoma, courts decided that sodomy laws could not be applied to private heterosexual conduct, leaving what amounted to same-sex only laws in effect. In many other states, including Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Mississippi, North Carolina, North Dakota, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Utah, Virginia and Washington, government agencies and courts treated sodomy laws that, as written, applied to all couples, straight and gay, as if they were aimed at gay people." i was arrested in Virginia in 1998, for asking an undercover vice cop pretending to be gay at a popular gay cruising spot, if he wanted to fuck me. 1998!?! i was charged with a 100 year old Virginia law that made sodomy a felony (the judge reduced it to a misdeamor). Bob McDonnell was elected governor of VA in 2010, he was openly anti gay. Laws criminalizing HIV are, largely, another form of sodomy law in my opinion, they are anti sex, and often, anti gay laws.

i think you've gotten some great input, so my thoughts will likely just repeat or underline what's already been said. Self diagnosing "addiction" has become almost as mainstream as self diagnosing depression. Using the term applied to gay sex was popularized by fundamentalist religious culture back in the 80's. Fundamentalists, then and now, equated any gay sex to being addicted and compared it to alcoholism. They did a similar thing with porn. Lots of fundamentalist christians believe that if you even think or imagine having sex "in your heart," it's equal to having had sex "in God's eyes." Too me, you seem to have two separate and distinct issues? One is bareback sex, the other is cheating. i may have missed it, but i cannot tell from your post if the relationship that you are cheating on is a man or woman? As BootmanLA notes, "tradition" has resulted in a lot of gay men marrying women, so depends on what "tradition" you are referencing? But if you are cheating on a woman, then i would suggest you have more/different factors to consider that could be complicating your desires/needs. On the other hand, i know there are also gay men who want to incorporate religion into their lives. Some religions have a "tradition" of accepting gays, others do not, some have modified to be inclusive, so the term "tradition" applied to those can be tricky. Again, i'd reiterate i believe talking to a pro is in your best interest. We don't have enough info or background to give anything more than opinion here. That said... If your behavior is truly compulsive (and i think there is such a thing), that could point to an unmet need that you are trying to repress/suppress. A good therapist can help you identify and deal with the reasons behind your unwanted behavior vs just concluding that your desires/needs are immoral. I.e., you may be repressing/suppressing a part of your self that you would not consider immoral (e.g. barebacking) that is leading to compulsive behavior that results in the cheating that you do consider immoral.

i have a younger FB who's really sweet, but very quiet. He tells me after the fact that He usually cums 2 or 3 times when He is fucking me, and He frequently contacts me to breed, so He must enjoy. But while He is fucking He makes no sounds at all, it's like He is in stealth mode and i cannot tell that He is enjoying. i nvver try to make sounds or say things, but it comes out of me involuntarily lol. i moan and make noises, not constantly but it's like my Top is playing an instrument and He knows i am fucking excited to have Him inside of me. It doesn't take much at all to help me know He's happy. Guys who just say something like "oh yeah" or "oh fuck" turn me into Their total breeding hole. And i fucking love it when a Top tells me He is cumming. Drives me absolutely wild.

i don't think there is a one size fits all answer to this question. i.e., the only One who can answer this is the person you wanna "keep telling ...how much you love the way His dick feels." my body often writhes and i moan and groan a lot when i am receiving a Man into me, those are all forms of communication. i believe connection is all about being open, vulnerable, real with each other. i've been with guys who seemed like they were trying to hard, that the words or expressions were things they'd seen in a porn movie, or they felt obligated to say, so it was forced. i think communication is paramount, that we all need to develop the skill, but i think it needs to be honest and open, and that part of communication is including the other person in the process.

Pdx is an odd place to try and hook. i live about an hour from Portland and previously tried Hawks (one of two local BH's) prior to Covid. i have not tried sense then because my experience was pretty lackluster the times i went. i wished for a 'dark room," but what they have at Hawks would only qualify as a dimly lit walk in closet. As a gay guy who escaped a repressive culture, i have an aversion to closets. Seriously though, i'm glad to read it's not just me, that Pdx has a different sex culture? i travel through Pdx airport on my way to Palm Springs when i need wonton sex and haven't even tried Pdx for several years. The sex shop where i live is a lot more active. i just figured i hadn't found the right hang outs in Pdx.

This is kinda fascinating to me because i have experienced where a Man was really into penetrating with something other than His cock, and it was as if it was a part of Him. The same dildo in the hands of a Man who is connected to what He is doing vs one who is not there and mechanical, is very different. i've experienced the same with fingers, mouth, hand... and i know You get this. i know i'm in a minority of bottoms who do not get into using a dildo on myself or self penetrating in some way. i used to. i started putting things inside my hole when i was 7, but somewhere along the way, my imagination and fantasy were no longer enough to fuel my need/desire to be penetrated by a Man. It has to have the real energy of a Man anymore, otherwise it feels sort of fake and empty for me. Almost like cheating, if that makes any sense lol. If i am not sharing my lust with a Man, it's just not the same.

Most of my sex with Men has been anonymous with me lying naked and face down on my bed... i.e., i don't see who is fucking me. That's actually been liberating for me when it comes to my own bias of attraction. For those i have seen, some of my best sexual encounters has been with Black Men and Hispanics, so i have an unreasonable, but emotionally positive attraction. To me, bias of a visual nature is emotional, not rational. my goal is HIs cock and His desire/need to breed and the connection that can happen in that mutual dynamic, so it would really be irrational to reject someone based on visual bias... and if one is blindfolded or otherwise unseeing, things like "fat, fem, ugly, race, etc,, become non issues. Not saying we'd all be better off blind lol, but it is revealing what removing that sense can change.

^^This^^ i love having my hole 'marked' by a Top. For me, the opening, molding process that some Men practice and get off on is something i perceive as a type of impregnation. For me, that's opposite of the energy behind wanting to "wreck" a hole. i know with some, that is just a term, and not meant literally. But there are others who truly wanna do damage. To me, that is a form of self hate, trying to destroy something you love and need? But the process of opening, shaping, molding a bottoms hole? Hell yeah. To me, that is a reflection of a Tops creative nature and energy, a big part of what bonds us together.

i tend to be the same, i.e., i only go for Total Tops. Not that i have anything against versatile guys as long as they accept that there is such a thing as a Total Top or total bottom. i've been burned so many times by guys who are convinced that since they are versatile, everyone else must be too. It's really strange to me that there are guys who will accuse you of being selfish because you don't top? To me that's sort of like a woman telling a gay guy he's selfish because he doesn't wanna have sex with her lol. i say "tend" because every once in awhile, i meet a versatile Man who accepts me for who i say i am and doesn't try to get me to top. i;ve had a few fuck buddies who were versatile and it was great, they only hook with me when they are needing to Top. Just random hook ups though, i tend to steer clear, never approach a versatile guy and am wary if they approach me. my profiles are very clear that i'm total bottom, but so many out there do not read or have reading comprehension issues. So, unfortunately there seems need for a vetting process, which is not always reliable and can be tedious. Generally, i find anyone identifying as "Total Top" as much less complicated to hook with, and the energy is better for both of us. less worry about each getting what they want/need once we are together because it's clear up front.

Thank You for starting this thread hntnhole. i don't have a dark room near me, so don't really get to experience that. The closest i have to that is an ABS. i have experienced where a guy will go through ad close booth doors on either side of a booth i or another is in to make them look occupied and heard guys in his direction? It blows my mind and mood when there is a guy with energy like that. i don't see it as competitive, but as selfish and immature. This is obviously someone who does not rely on his own merits. Mostly though, i think guys like that are missing a major point, are unseeing and disconnected from the Man attached to the Cock. my only criteria for receiving cock is the desire has to be mutual. i cannot relate to wanting to push a Mans cock into me because Him wanting to penetrate me is a big part of me presenting and being available for Him. my desire has a dependence on His desire, that's part of the magic of it. If it's not mutual, might as well get a dildo and fuck myself (not gonna happen lol).

"CAR T-cell therapy currently in UC Davis Health clinical trial study as potential cure for HIV In efforts to search for an alternative option to life-long treatment, UC Davis Health has commenced a study testing the efficacy of Chimeric Antigen Receptor T-cell Therapy (CAR T-cell Therapy) and its potential as a cure for HIV. CAR T-cell therapy involves the removal of a patient’s immune system’s T-cells and genetically modifying them to recognize and attack HIV-afflicted cells in the host. Dr. Mehrdad Abedi, a professor of internal medicine, hematology and oncology at UC Davis Health and the principal investigator of the study, further explained the process in administering CAR T-cell therapy to a patient. “For this study, we will educate the cells by inserting a gene to target cells that have been infected by the HIV virus,” Abedi said. “The idea is these modified cells will attach to the HIV-infected cells and destroy the cells that are infected while also stopping the infected cells’ ability to replicate.” " can read the whole article here: [think before following links] https://theaggie.org/2022/04/18/car-t-cell-therapy-currently-in-uc-davis-health-clinical-trial-study-as-potential-cure-for-hiv/

i get impregnated by so much of what You write and express. Guys who don't get this must think me crazy, but i know You get it. From my side of the fuck, i see it more as a maturity thing with Men who relish connection and the power position They can have. In some respects, i think it is just as practical as You state, that it is a matter of education and learning a skill set (practice makes perfect lol). Personally, there is a part of me that is disappointed for my Top when He doesn't realize HIs full potential. On the other hand, i really am grateful and happy for any cock i get. i've had Guys who were so ramped and turned on that they came as soon as they slide in. i think that would disappoint me if that's all i ever got, but it's a beautiful part of the mix. i think the saying: "knowledge is power," is fitting here. The more a Man knows about how to possess a bottom, the greater the bond and His ownership. To me, the more powerful form of "bondage" has nothing to do with ropes.

Not to split hairs, but turns out that a "g-spot" is something only women have (technically called the "Grafenberg Spot"). Only men have what has come to be called the "p-spot" (the prostate). i think it's an in your face fact, to those who think it wrong for a man to receive cock, that a man has an erogenous zone that can cause intense pleasure and an orgasm if fucked a particular way. Maybe strangely, my own experience with my p-spot has given me more understanding of women, and i think it's something that blurs the lines between gender roles. The longer i live, the more inseparable a Mans physical Cock becomes from what i think of as His psychological or inner Cock. To me, the latter is the need, energy, drive behind His physical Cock. i've been seeing a Man the last several months who had ED. He believed it was psychological, though it was difficult for Him to unravel. As a total bottom, i confess it was hard for me to not have the connection of not getting fucked and bred by Him, but i decided up front to hang with Him for awhile, taking Him at face value when He told me His cock still worked physiologically. He even got Trimex, a very expensive ED med that is injected into the cock with a needle. It never worked when we were together. i kept it light and encouraging, not wanting to add to His angst. A big part of what kept me going was His inner Cock, it was big and fertile. The last time we were together (i live in OR and He lives in CA), the damn broke for me. It was night 2 of a 4 day visit and i was straddling Him my ass in HIs face. He loves the visual and opening and eating my "pussy." While that was happening, HIs cock got hard and would have been perfect for fucking, but He just kept eating me out, and it started to go soft after about 5 minutes. But He was getting more turned on by my pussy and started masturbating His cock while eating me out and then came that way. That frustrated the fuck out of me, while He was in a state of bliss. He sensed my frustration and asked, and i let lose and told Him how frustrated i was never having had His cock in me and seeing His seed wasted that way. He got defensive at first, but we talked it out and it was a good discussion. i wasn't blaming Him, i was just frustrated by my own need for Cock. Strangely, the next morning He woke with a hard on, turned me on my side and slid in for the first time. He fucked me all day, on and off, pissing in me twice and coming once. That both turned me on and mellowed me, i got what i needed and He took a sort of possession of me that happens when i receive a Mans whole Cock and pleasure inside of me. my point of sharing that is to attempt to explain the connection of the psychological and physical. i was married to a woman for a long time and learned how to give her both clitoral and g-spot orgasms. She much preferred the g-spot orgasm and would literally grab and shove me inside of her when i was going down on her and she started coming clitorally. i came to realize she always wanted me inside of her when she came. Even more, our sex life reached a point where she didn't care as much about her orgasm and it was important for her that i "just take" her. I.e., she needed my drive/energy/need/desire, my inner cock as well as my physical one. That, unfortunately, was not something i could conjure as a gay bottom. i could go through the mechanics of sex and fulfill her physical need, but not her inner pussy. After we divorced and i was exclusively bottom and gay, i started to realize how similar i was sexually to my former wife. That both my physical and psychological sexuality is dependent on a Man (and vice versa i think, i see it as ideally symbiotic). i have experienced p-spot orgasms, and i am surprised with how similar they are to what i have experienced with a woman. There seems to be more of a psychological element (at least for me) with a p-spot orgasm. i've had guys hit it over and over and come close, but not. Then i have had guys hit it and at the same time He was in my head and fuckig me there as well and i came uncontrollably from it. i've tried to replicate the experience with dildos, nope. i don't use dildos on myself at all anymore, i'm just too much of a bottom to even be able to fuck myself lol. idk, i don't pretend to have it all figured out, but there is a connection and energy that has accompanied my times of cumming from being fucked, like i have a psychological and physical p-spot. Having experienced it, i don't even wanna cum from having my penis touched, it's a disappointment and feels wrong, like a compromise? And i have wondered if this is how women feel, when their pleasure is dependent on their partner? When it happens, and the Top is present both physically and psychologically, whether i cum or not, sex for me is pillow biting good and fulfilling. sorry, that was a ramble.

Since this is a health forum, i guess i'll be the odd man out and interject some health info on this topic for anyone interested lol. There are some particular STI's one can contract from this activity. This is purely meant to be informative, not judging, i've taken lots of cocks after they've been in my or another ass. "Amebiasis is transmitted primarily by the fecal-oral route, most commonly from contaminated drinking water or by unsanitary food handling. E. histolytica is often found in the stool of homosexual men and is the most common intestinal parasite seen in gay communities throughout the world. Sexual behavior such as analingus or fellatio after anal-genital intercourse can lead to infection." here's the link and more info [think before following links] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2780057/

i think this is an Interesting question. my journey has had me in both positions. Grew up in a gay repressive/oppressive religious culture and ended up married, to a woman, as a result. i've learned a lot from my experiences, particularly how individual we all are, though we may have many things 'grossly' in common. i love/loved my former wife, but we were decidedly mismatched in several ways. Sexually, we were both bottoms with some sub thrown in. i assumed the "position" i was conditioned to take, i.e. top. i look at my former marriage as a sort of prison experience (my conditioned beliefs were the "prison"). In prison, straight guys will get into sexual, and even romantic, relationships with other men. i think it's not because they are gay, or wired for sex or romance with another man, but they are wired for sex and romance, and men are all that's available, so it happens. Similarly, i came to realize that i am not wired top, but i was wired for sex, so i assumed the "position," even though it was not natural for me. Part of me enjoyed, and even needed that, but it's sort of like drinking your own pee in the desert, it's no substitute for the water you truly need. Over time, forcing myself to top really fucked with me psychologically. Even though i cheated and got fucked by Men on the side, one did not compensate for the other. In fact, it added to the problem. i hated lying and cheating, i was caught in dissonance of believing the conditioning that i could change and not need a Man. Since i woke up and accepted myself for who i am, i have been pretty much exclusively bottom. There have been a few occasions where i have bred another guy, but it's a rarity. i've found that i don't even need to ejaculate to be sexually satisfied and fulfilled. When i am receiving enough orgasms inside of me from a Man, i am happy, fulfilled and satisfied as a bottom. i don't think i have ever really changed "positions" in my life, not inwardly, just outwardly... but it wasn't who and how i am.

i think it depends on what kind of connections are most important to You. Are You looking for lots of anonymous sex? Move to a place that has a sex shop with lots of activity, often next to an interstate freeway. You can find those just about anywhere and internet culture doesn't really come into play. i have consistently gotten sex in a booth in a sex shop, not unusual to get fucked 4 or 5 times in an hour in a busy sex shop. Of course, that is an environment that is focused on sex alone, so if you want more, than that is only part of the equation. If You are looking for an active gay community in addition to sex, i'd suggest Palm Springs. Estimates are about 40% of the population is gay. There are several "gay resorts" there, as well as the usual sex shops. Though PS has experienced the same real estate increases as the rest of the country, there is a broad range of housing cost. i live in a small town in Oregon and considered moving there before Covid hit, i could make a lateral move when it comes to housing cost. If You are a renter, there are tons of rentals in PS, it's condo city. Lot's of people buy condos as an investment, so there are lots of rentals. Taxes, gas and other costs can be high in CA. You are also close to San Diego, Mexico and Los Angeles. i fly to PS a couple of times a year and often fly into SD or LA and drive to PS if air fair is cheaper. 2 hours from SD, 1 hour from Oontario airport in LA.

Depends on the "deal." It's not a moral issue with me, life is full of health risks, i cannot rationalize the moral superiority of one risk over another. After all, i take Mens semen and piss into my body and relish it, and love them for the connection. i also got HIV that way and have had my share of STD's. i don't think my desire can rationally trump someone else's. That said, cigarettes are not my vice of choice. i'm a critical care nurse and have had my share of COPD and heart patients who's disease was related to smoking. Not being able to breath is an awful way to be in my opinion, so i'd hate to have a lover in that place (would feel to much like work, like them being a patient), and i know too much about the disease, it would eat at me to see someone i love in that place. i did hear a surprising number, i believe derived from Lancet, a respected British medical journal, that only 15% of smokers develop COPD. i would have thought the number much higher. Of course, that's just one disease, there's cancer, vascular, heart diseases too. So, for me, i'd rather eat pizza or prime rib than smoke. Possibly just as deadly, but tastes better to me. i'd hook with a smoker, no problem, but would likely not get into a romantic tangle with a smoker. A smokers desire, need cum or piss is just as wonderful and valuable to me as another Mans.

Not sure i can add anything new to this discussion. For me it's about mood and perspective. if i'm in the mood for sex right now and i go to an app to try and find a hook up, i'm not going to want to spend a lot of time flirting and chatting with someone who is not nearby and accessible. Of course, with apps, proximity is no guarantee of actual physical connection. Consider all the discussions we have had on frustration with flakes on apps, and that's with guys who are 10 minutes away. i may get more connection from the guy in London than i do from the guy around the corner, depending on the guy. And for me, that would be the point, some from of connection. Sex for me is not all physical. It's got a huge component of psychosexual need/desire attached to it as well. i have been 'penetrated," (and frankly, "bred") by a Mans desire/need, on more occasions than i can count, with 'just words.' Is that all i need/want? Nah, but it is definitely a part of what i need/want, i think we often miss out on getting some of what we desire/need because of an all or nothing approach. I've had some very sweet connections that were not all inclusive packages. i may not always fully get what i need want, but in the absence of His physical presence, having a Mans emotional presence still carries a lot of weight for me (and, apparently, Him when He pursues it). Typically, if i need the physical connection of sex right now, i'm not on an app, i'm physically somewhere where i can get it.

i cannot feel a Mans semen when He ejaculates. i know some can, but i cannot honestly say i can feel His actual semen when it leaves His cock and enters me. There can be other signs for me when He has an orgasm, sometimes i can feel the swelling of HIs cock before He cums, or the difference in His breathing, some Mens cocks spasm, and some Men make it evident in Their expressions and demeanor. But some also seem to almost hide Their orgasm and keep fucking through it. i can usually tell after He takes His cock out, though i always hold His seed in and want to absorb it. i received a FB's semen this morning, and He's one of those silent cummers who seems to be perpetually cumming and excited while fucking. He tells me He usually cums a few times while fucking me, and if the amount of semen He leaves in me is an indication, i have no reason to doubt Him. i have to tighten my grip to hold His seed inside of me when He has not seeded me deep, which He's capable of. Sometimes i finger myself after to see how much, and know He cums a lot from that... mostly i just bask in the heat of the whole fuck. i cannot feel the actual semen going in, but often can afterwards, and it has a distinct feel if it begins to work it's way out. It also leave me wonderfully slippery inside. The act of breeding with seed is very different for me. There's a primal drive and need, then the ecstatic climax of orgasm where His orgasm leaves His body and enters mine. That's amazing an unique to me, some of what separates it from pissing. A big difference is He has to fuck in order to cum, to seed with semen, to orgasem. With pissing, it seems opposite to me. He has to rest ("restroom?") relax. i've experienced some Men who can piss while actually fucking, but most have to be very still and relax vs thrust. All the words associated with pissing come to my mind here. The act of pissing is 'relieving" Himself vs pleasuring. Pissing has elements that semen does not. No one is conditioned to think of semen as waste, but pretty much everyone thinks of piss as waste. So to me there is a connection that can happen that cannot with semen. i.e., i value You so much that even Your waste is precious stuff for me, that Your need to relieve Yourself, and desire to relieve Your self in me, is a unique connection. Do it repeatedly, it becomes a bond... which is similar to semen for me. i can absolutely feel when a Man is pissing in me, it seems almost immediately and regardless of the quantity. And that is a fucking amazing feeling on more levels and in more ways than i can adequately express. His aura when depositing His waste in me and His knowing i want it, is different than seed deposit. It's another layer of possession. Also, depending on how much He has to piss, i can feel it filling me. Some Men have that understanding too and will reach under to feel and rub my belly as a sort of additional penetration, making me really feel the impregnation, and Him being able to relish and underline what He has done. It's sort of like Him giving and enema with His piss, which is naturally going to evoke peristalsis that, there's a definite power He is exercising over my insides, and some Men know and love that. That doesn't happen with the small quantity of semen. There's so much to this.