tallslenderguy

i can read this question two different ways: 1. Why is there a saying like this? or 2. Why is it that one does not go back once one has "gone black." Sayings and generalizations exist in cultures for all sorts of reasons. Just reading this discussion exposes different reasons why one might ascribe to this saying as a truism. Because sayings like this have a different meaning depending on the person, it is apparently not a universal truth, but a belief. I.e., if we were to but this to a quality, double blind , randomized scientific test where a bottom gets fucked by say ten guys of all different races (sign me up please), i'd bet we'd likely find no evidence to support the claim. For instance, if we blindfolded the bottom and they didn't know if they were being fucked by a black man or one of a different color, would they be able to tell the difference? Does the visual cue trigger a presumptive notion that affects the experience? Are we with the person or are we with our idea of the person? i think we all have notions, ideas, bias that have been culturally programmed into us. Those programs vary from culture to culture. Some cultures are more pervasive than others, and that influences the bias size and effect. i think it's important to be aware and acknowledge the influence of the cultures we have been a part of. Not wanting to be affected does not mean we are unaffected.

tEveryones anatomy is a little different, but this is a general picture of the inside of a rectum. There is no "second hole" but we can feel when someone hits curve where the rectum begins and the sigmoid ends. Feels like it's hitting a wall, eh? i've had a 22 inch dildo/snake inside, so it is quite possible to get way the fuck in there, and i have yet to meet a Top with a 22 inch cock (though the search goes on). It's all very flexible in there though and a Top who knows what they're doing can sorta straighten that curve with their cock. The trick is, when the cock hits the wall, to not withdraw but to slow down at the curve, thus 'opening' the second hole. It's fucking awesome really... i cannot imagine not taking a Top balls deep. Fuck, i want all of Him in me and imagine most bottoms would concur.

There can be so many angles to this. For instance, one could probably make a good argument that bareback fucking on PrEP increases the risk for contracting the common cold. In that case, it's not so much the type of contact or exposure as the fact of exposure close proximity exposure. Of course, i am being facetious to make a point, that each study needs to be examined to see exactly why the increase? Is it correlative? Is it causative? Is it simply increased exposure? Is it weakened defense from fighting a battle on two fronts? etc, etc.. There are so many reasons that can factor into this kind of conclusion. Not to mention how much of a risk increase is there? Is it a 10% risk? Is it a .00000000001 risk increase? HIV transmission with meds is a good example of risk percentage. For example, though there is a still a considered risk of contracting HIV from an infected person who is undetectable and on meds, the general consensus is now "undetecable=untrasmittable. When it comes to assertions about anything medical, my first question is: "based on what evidence?" (not saying this to the OP, but speaking in general). Once the question is narrowed and the answer dependent on specifics, the conclusions often become clarified, and are rarely absolute. A popular inclusion in well performed studies is "further study is needed."

Yes, absolutely. For me, sex is about connection, and the longer the connection persists, the better. It's not just the physical, but the emotional/psychological penetration and breeding that is taking place.

i chose 11-15, and have done that on more than one occasion at a sex club or ABS. Actually, more often at an ABS. If i hit the right time, there's a lot of guys on lunch break or just getting off work who just want to unload and go, so it can be a very quick process. As for "sometimes one is not enough..." the way i am wired, i'd rather have one Guy who knew how to possess me than a bunch of quick, more shallow encounters.

Prolly not one standard answer to this question? As i see it, people in general make most of their decisions based on emotion, not reason or evidence. i think the decision to bareback is based on desire, not rationale. i think most guys who do this are looking to satisfy an emotional desire to protect their self, not a rational one. Some guys feel they can tell if a guy has and STD by looking at him or examining him, which is not completely unrealistic, just mostly. my feel though is most guys who use the reason "i only play safe the first time" are thinking that after the first time they will have a better sense of if that person is real, honest about their status. From a reason/logic standpoint it's ludicrous, but it's not a reasonable decision, it's an emotional one, and emotions can be all over the map... especially when injected with testosterone.

What type of diabetes do you have? DM1 and DM2 are different. Type one is insulin dependent and means your pancreas doesn't produce insulin, or enough insulin, to keep your blood glucose (BG) at a 'normal' level. Type two is insulin resistance and is caused by fat (not being fat, you can have a normal BMI and have DM2). DM2 is caused by diet and with most people, DM2 can be reversed by diet. As blkoraltm points out, weight gain does occur with some meds, but since you are neg, meds probably don't factor in. i know of no relationship between taking loads and diabetes.

Maybe a different take here. Erections have two components, physiological and psychological. Several years ago, i began to wonder if i had ED because i couldn't get an erection. But i started noticing that my equipment still worked. If a Top would come on to me and start talking to me online about what He wanted, i would get hard as a rock. If anyone ever mentioned wanting to touch or use my penis, i could not get hard, i'd stay soft. i have come to see what i have as similar to what a woman has, like a "clit" (i have no desire to be a woman, just comparing). A womans clit gets engorged when she is sexually excited, but there is never any thought or question of her using it as a penetrative organ. i have come to a place where a Top can use what i have there if Their psychologically wired to not see it as a 'cock,' but more like a "clit.' For me, it changes everything. i think there is a power in having the physical ability to penetrate, but not the psychological ability, that i cannot get hard because of my psychological wiring... and a Top can have a lot of control over that wiring.

i don't know how realistic it is to want a 'wrecked hole', fantasy often imagines better than reality. my hole has been used a lot, and some FB Tops seemed to make it Their ongoing mission to make me permanently gapped. i do not leak, but i have reached an apparent permanent place where my hole has changed from being better at receiving than retaining. i can clench my inner muscles just fine, but i have to clinch when something is there and wants to come out, and i never used to have to do that. No messes or problems with incontinence, but there is more of a sense of urgency when i have to go. Honestly, i find it sort of hot. it reminds me every time that my hole is more made for penetration than for elimination and i like the distinction.

No harm that i know of. i had a patient (a woman) who had a prolapsed rectum... but it was not why she was in the hospital. She was too ill from something else to be able to replace it herself, but when well, i'm sure she did. A doctor slipped it back in for her, but it caused no harm to her, maybe some embarrassment, but then, she may have gotten off on that? "Health" is more than physical. It's emotional, psychological, etc., also. An ignorant onlooker may have no idea of the thrill and fulfillment two guys may have, the one maybe slowly creating and molding the "rosebud" and the other the clay or canvas for the Top doing the "molding." There is so much more to all of this than meets the heteronormative doctors eye.

Could be, seeds get stuck in diverticuli and people are advised to avoid seed

@Fuzzypup This may not be what you had in mind, but i have found no shortage of used condoms at ABS's 😉

Okay, that's an interesting response... this would never have occurred to me, and i have easily had thousands of cocks up my ass, and been arrested once in 1998 for asking an undercover cop pretending to be gay and cruising if he wanted to fuck me. It seems to me it would be virtually impossible to trace the semen let in a condom to an actual person and address. Doesn't seem very cost effective, unless i am missing something?

Right? lol As a healthcare worker i've whitnessed several surgeries. One that stands out in my memory was a Davinci robotic surgery where a woman was having her pussy rebuilt... they were wrapping it in kevlar. Pussies can wear with time and use, hell, there are more than a few on this site (both Top and bottom) who want "wrecked" assholes. Which is why i went where i did with my reply to the thread. i see far more patients in hospital with colon issues from 'food' they ate than from cock they took. Not saying it cannot be a factor, but i think it's comparatively rare. The only patient i've ever had with even a prolapsing rectum, was a woman. And i've had my share of gay and trans persons as patients. i do not think age or penetration is necessarily a factor in pussy or asshole health, but i think a lack of it can affect your emotional health.

i cannot tell what you are looking for in response to this? You give no specific information, so that precludes specific response. i'm a critical care nurse with some specialization /education/certification in reversing certain disease process through diet. The human colon is home to bacteria ("the gut microbiome") that add up to 10x the number of cells that comprise our body. One could argue, there's more of them than of us. What we put in hugely affects that. Our digestive tract starts at the mouth and ends at the anus. We have about 27 feet of intestine, about 23 feet is small intestine, about 3-4 feet is large intestine or colon. The colon is the main location of the gut microbiome, so things like enemas can affect it, but the greatest affect is from what we eat. I.e, we eat a hell of a lot more often than we clean out or get fucked. Which is not to minimize the effects that putting stuff up our ass can have, it's to point out that what we eat is the primary component to a healthy or unhealthy gut. You may have some sort of physiological issue with your gut, idk, you do not say what your particular issue is, so what i just wrote is general information that affects everyone, but may not specifically address your issue. For anyone who is interested in the science behind the gut microbiome and how it affects your health, i'd suggest reading "Fiber Fueled" by Will Bulseiwicz. It's based on about 600 studies which you can download and read if one is interested in the actual evidence behind the book, but the book itself is written at a level anyone can understand and covers a lot about how to heal certain conditions and prevent others. good luck.

Earlier (much) in this thread there was mention of freezing semen and how it affects HIV, here's info on that topic for those interested: "...sources at the federal Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta; at the national headquarters of the American Red Cross in Washington, D.C., and at Johns Hopkins said yesterday that freezing, even at colder temperatures, will not kill the AIDS virus. "Freezing the virus does not kill it. In fact, our researchers freeze it at minus 75 degrees centigrade to preserve it," said a CDC spokeswoman." [think before following links] https://www.mcall.com/news/mc-xpm-1987-04-23-2579925-story.html

idk,i think it depends on the individual. Some guys live in open relationships and it's perfectly fine, others do not.

Ask: "do you wanna fuck me?" Also, i have presented my ass on many occasions and had lots of takers that way. Guys will let you know if they don't want to fuck... and yeah, i think it's presumptuous to just automatically put a guys cock in your ass. i think the Top should put His cock in the bottom vs the bottom putting the Tops cock inside him.

me too. i just pass empty online profiles by, or worse, guys who check all the "ask me" boxes instead of putting a little of their self out there. It never seems to occur to these guys that why would someone ask questions about someone who's invisible to start with? Guys who don't want to "waste time" communicating ahead of time end up wasting time traveling and getting together with someone they are not interested in, or vice versa. i think it's childish.

No, not a fan. Even with hook up sex, the underlying drive for me is not just physical, but symbiotic connection with another guy. To me, that sort of thing is like being spammed, like there isn't a person on the other end.

To me, that sort of presumption is, yes, "impolite" and immature. There's a self centeredness that, to me, is the essence of immaturity; a presumption that because one is turned on, others will be similarly affected or desirous. As i see it, relationship is about connection and to connect with another person, you need to know something about them. A three year old has not yet developed or matured to a degree where they understand or grasp that life is not all about them. That's where tantrums come from, a self absorbed "i want it and i want it now" attitude. i see it as entitlement, which i also see as the ultimate form of 'adult' immaturity. Few things are as obnoxious to me.

i literally have a drawer full of toys... that i never use. i have a fuck machine, and never use that either. i will edge when talking with a guy online, but it's to increase my horniness for Him and make me more needy (wierd, i know). if i'm alone and finally do cum, it's to a fantasy or porn of a Top breeding me, but i don't put anything in my hole, thats Top territory for me. i never jack just to cum, always to edge, and when i do cum it's a lot and hard, but i'm immediately disappointed. i don't really wanna cum, especially by my own devices, i want a another guys orgasm inside of me... i want Him to cum in and as a part of me. His orgasm becomes mine.

idk if i would say "rude." That's how you feel, and as you note, there were plenty of slings that were vacant. One could also ask if the Tops were being rude choosing only you when there were other bottoms around? Everyone wants to be desirable, that's why they are there, but there is no accounting for taste. Having said that, i have often gone for the guy not getting attention and enjoyed the connection of mutual desire and need a lot more fulfilling than going for someone who ranks their self as "the hottest." To me, attitude is part of the equation, and i do not find guys who act like they are the hottest, "hot." But that's me, obviously there a lots of guys who feel otherwise. When physical beauty fades, will there be any other substance to take its place?

i have both real life and fantasy examples of what i think of as "seduction" or "grooming." This one is a real example: i have a FB when i lived in Louisville. For about a year and a half, He'd contact me on a weekly basis. He lots of things, but i think His primary goal was to open my hole, change it, which He did in a very subtle, slow, purposeful way over time. i didn't realize He was doing it until one day i realized i was continuosly more open. i realized when i had the need to use the bathroom, there was more urgency. i found i actually had to clench to hold it in, and it dawned on me that my hole was now more useful for penetrating than for retaining. But that's sort of a side note, a little history. He always wanted me waiting face down, naked and blindfolded on my bed. i never saw Him the entire time we got together. Before He'd leave, He would breed me as i lay prone and blindfolded under Him. The whole time we were together, He'd sort of have this continous, monotone whisper of 'dirty talk' which was almost hypnotic to me. Usually, after breeding, He'd just get up, dress and leave. One day, after about 5 or 6 months of getting together, He stayed deep inside of me and just relaxed after cumming. After a few, i started to feel a warm fullness and i realized He was pissing inside of me. It startled me, i had never been pissed in before, and He felt me tense. He knew me well at this point though and knew just how to handle me. He whispered in my ear how good it felt and even asked: "please take it, it feels so good." That was pretty much all it took, i immediately not only relaxed and took it, i got very horny, excited by His pleasure. And it's like He knew i would respond that way, because His whispering continued: "that's right, you like it, your just a little piss slut, aren't you?" Though i had never experienced it before, He had me and He knew it. i practically whimpered "yes" i was so turned on and controlled. He didn't need to force or bully me at all, because He already knew He had control, power with me.

This poll is meant as an honest query. i am not suggesting one way is right and one way is wrong. i don't think there is a standard everyone should conform to, but that needs and desires are personal and individual. i see no right or wrong answer to this question, just wondering where others land on this. i'm a total bottom with a submissive bent. Personally, i shut down when a guy tries force or bullying, but open up and respond deeply to seduction and 'grooming.' For me, it's a lot more powerful when a guy asks or takes a seductive/grooming approach to get what He wants/needs than Him trying to force or bully my submission to His need/desire. When a Top gets that lustful look in His eyes and asks, it's almost impossible for me to resist that desire/need i see in Him, i'd have to actually fight myself not to give in. When a Top tries to force or bully me, for me it's like He doesn't recognize that He already has power with me to get me to do what He wants/needs, and it doesn't evoke submission in me. How about you? Top or bottom, how do you feel and/or think about this?