tallslenderguy

Idk, i like politics in places like Sweden or Holland better. To me, American politics seem generally heteronormative. i wonder how we'd be if we hadn't been influenced by the dominant culture and internalized so much from it? Mostly it seems to me that parties don't rule so much as the money behind them and the people who buy them. To me, politics is largely a facade.

Just got an ad for CBD suppositories in my email from Fort Troff. i confess, i had to google "CBD" . The FT version is a suppository (which anything that goes into my ass pretty much automatically turns me on) that is supposed to "relax your ass. Take XL cocks and more." i'm mixed about stuff like this. On the one hand, the idea of being a more capable bottom is always appealing to me. On the other hand, i'm not one for using drug enhancements personally. On the other hand, i've always had fantasies of Tops who secretly do things to me, not damaging or hurtful things, but control (it's complicated lol). So, the idea of a Top slipping one of these things into me without me really knowing what He's done is a turn on, but it's not something i'd do to myself. So i guess it's not what's in the suppository that's a turn on to me, but the idea that a Top would be looking for ways to control my hole and make it His for HIs pleasure.... As an aside, stuff like numbing agents, and now this, make me wonder about their potential for damage because you don't have the normal signals to slow down? The other aside is, i always wonder how it will affect the Top? E.g a numbing agent may numb my hole, but it can also numb the cock that fucks it, i wonder if CBD might also affect the cock that is fucking the hole of the bottom who has one in?

When i read your post i wonder what qualifies as "Men" for you?

What a great question!! i don't know that there is a simple or complete answer i can give, just bits and pieces. i've always had a vivid imagination, so i find myself editing porn in my mind, wishing they'd done it this way or that. my favorite 'porn' is simply amateur vids guys have made of actual sex experiences. For me, the best pro porn is the stuff that manages to look 'real' vs trying to be hot. i love hidden camera stuff. We hear the theories that porn raises our expectations about sex to an unrealistic level, and i'm sure that can be true in some instances, but i don't think that is true about everyone who watches porn. For me, it's usually been the opposite. I.e., i look for porn that can approximate what i imagine or want. But i rarely go for the professional stuff because i know that it's contrived. For me, the flawed vids of real life experience are more of a turn on because i know that can really happen, it's not a production or make believe, just an example of what can be.

i think the reasons behind attraction can be hard to parse out. It has really helped me being a nurse because all i do is take care of people outside the norm. Part of my job is to examine and assess each and every patient i have. i do an admit, or go into a perfect strangers room first thing in the morning and after the pleasantries of introduction, i explain i need to look them over and ask them questions and ask them permission to do so. It's a hospital, and no one says "no," asking is more of a polite formality. One of the first questions of my assessment is: "when was the last time you had a bowel movement?" That's part of what i refer to when i say my job has "conditioned me" against feeling awkward with stuff that is 'normally' socially awkward or not spoken of. People with disabilities who have been living with them for awhile have experienced enough reactions from people that they can probably fit us into groups. There's the 'sympathetic" who "feel sorry" for them. Or some of us go the opposite direction and try to pretend and act like the disability is not there. The truth is, most kinds of different make us feel awkward because we don't have experience or a frame of reference on how to deal, act or respond, so we flounder and that makes the situation even more awkward. That 'awkward' experience may be unusual for us, but the person who has something different about them deals with that awkward response with a huge percentage of the people they encounter (read: "all the time"). Their "norm" is people being awkward around them, it's new to us, not to them. Yet, our response is to often respond presumptuously. For example, insisting on helping, or the opposite, ignoring them assuming they don't want help. Both are presumptuous. People with disabilities are just like us in more ways than not. Just like us, they appreciate when someone cares enough to ask how they feel or think or what they want or need. Just like us, they're the expert on what they need and want. We often make a disability more than it is, transferring the fact that we don't know what to do onto the other person. Chances are, they've been living with their disability awhile and they are a lot less disabled by it than we are.

The gay community has some fascinating variety, eh? i don't think there is a "right" or "wrong" approach to this, but individual. Honestly, it comes across as insecure to me, like the Top is threatened if they are upset by a bottoms hard penis. i realize that my own emotional response is just that, "my own." There's something in me that is aroused when a Top makes the differentiation between me the receiver and Him the penetrator... but i'm all bottom with some sub thrown in. There are so many variations of guys taking cock. Many are versatile and like to breed too, and they do indeed have a cock to my way of thinking. And, there are plenty of bottoms who don't identify as sub, and prolly most of them think of themselves as having cocks... infinite, awesome variety. i don't think we are binary and wish we'd resist the centricity of putting everyone in the context of our personal needs and desires. i should have clarified that the guys i often approach are more Top with some Dom thrown in. i love bottom and versatile guys. Fuck, i love men. but i don't approach either for sex because i know myself and know personally i crave a particular type guy and my favorite is one who doesn't think i have a cock. But i want everyone to know, that's me, not a right or wrong way of doing this. 🙂

A "useless, flaccid, soft" penis is not something i want to confer on myself, but an effect that my Top has on me. i've had a few Tops who turned me on so much with Their attitude and words that i got rock hard, and they didn't miss a beat saying: "... isn't that nice, your clit is engorged at the prospect of being bred." In their mind, i don't have a "cock," so whether or not it gets hard is immaterial, because soft or hard, it's never a cock and always "useless" as a penetrative organ. Mind fuck. Matter of fact assumption on their part that i simply don't have a cock, it doesn't matter how things look. Total confidence on their part makes what is between my legs a non issue so matter that appearance of things. And it works, my brain and emotions go right along with His power and control.

i'm a critical care nurse and my experience has conditioned me. i'm aware, but it doesn't really matter. Last time i was in Palm Spring i hooked with a guy who didn't have legs and His cock had been refashioned, but it still worked just fine. He was Top and we'd arranged an anonymous scenario where He was going to come in my open door and breed me... which is a pretty common scenario with me. When He got to the hotel, He needed help getting His chair over the threshold of the room, so anonymity was no longer a factor. We ended up kissing, which i rarely do, but He was definitely kissable to me and i ended up kissing and touching Him everywhere, including what was left of His legs (about 4 or 5 inches). He was hot and passionate and so responsive to my mouth and touch, i got very turned on. At one point, He said that most people would not touch his legs and that it felt good. We talked openly, and i asked if i didn't know. i prefer guys who don't consider themselves 'perfect' because i know that i am not. i don't even try when a guy has an attitude that they are way too hot, i want mutual need and desire.

He may like the idea of owning and controlling your hole, watching and controlling who ever breeds His hole.

Damn yes. i met a guy on CL when i lived in KY. He became a FB and we got together about once a week for a year and a half before we both moved away. He introduced Himself as liking to give massage and asked if i wanted one. We wrote back and forth for awhile, and He had me totally wanting it. Last minute He dropped that he wanted me waiting naked and blindfolded on my bed, ass up and door open. This wasn't a stretch for me because that's how the ad read that i'd placed, except for the blindfold. Though the words were never used, He was my first long term experience with a Dom. He used massage, the sensory deprivation of the blindfold and an ongoing monologue to get me into a suggestible place, and He was really good at it. It was about 6 months before i realized what He was doing, but i was hooked by Him from the start. He was very patient, slow and purposeful and always got what He wanted. His long term goal was to "remold my hole into a puaay"... He did that too. i don't know for sure, but i think He was purposefully using hypnotic techniques.

i fucking love this advice, the only thing that would make it better for me is to ask your Top to give you a ruined orgasm to help train and condition you to meet their desire.

Are you saying that You in particualar are turned off by guys with wives/girlfriends? Why is that? Pretty much opposite to what the OP feels. Personally, i can be attracted to a Bi guy or gay... not sure about wanting a straight guy though, because that seems conflicted, or just physical at best?

interesting question. i confess i love this dynamic with a Top where they minimize my penis. One way i and certain Tops have found around this is they never refer to what i have as a "cock," it's either a generic "penis" or some have called it a "clit." "Clit" has a deeper psychological effect (for me anyway) and it makes the distinction, even though i am not the least bit fem... actually not being "fem" makes it even more powerful for me. Talk about penetrating me and some forms of affectionate humilation get me hard as a rock, being penetrated makes me soft though and talk of me using my penis never gets me hard. So, the psychology behind calling it a "clit" (for both parties) is it's little, not a cock and refers to a penetrative part of anatomy. Yeah, it gets engorged when excited, but it's an encorged clit, not a cock. it gets excited for a whole different reason because it really isn't a "cock."

my sigmoid is pretty shallow, so most guys who breed me end up breeding my sigmoid, and once it's there i can keep it. If it doesn't go that deep, i am still able to somehow pull it in, not sure how that works, but i don't leak. i think leaking pussy is sexy as fuck, but i also hate the thought of losing any of a Tops cum, so i guess i've just learned how to retain and am lucky my sigmoid is shallow for retention. Butt plugs. i've never considered butt plugs to be a way of keeping cum or piss in. For me, the effect of a butt plug is mostly psychological. i like if a Top uses one on me for whatever HIs reason may be, but i don't use them on myself as a rule. When i read that what you wrote: "...use a butt plug, but that doesn't feel good and i dunno how you walk and do anything with one in," it immediately made me wish for a Top who'd put a butt plug in me... for exactly the reasons you state. For me, the butt plug would become a collar and leash for me that i'd associate with the Top.

What CumBustion said. i use an 18" and it helps, but it hasn't completely modified me. All of us are a little different down there. i happen to have a fairly deep curve, so hitting it meets more resistance and can cause more pain. For me, the advantage of having that deep curve is retention, i can hold onto a Tops cum and/or piss without losing it...and i love to keep and absorb what a Guy puts into me, so i like that. It also makes it more of a challenge to clean out initially, A lot really depends on the Top. Some Tops are either ignorant or don't care. If they have a long enough cock to hit my curve, i just sort of squirm and take it. Other more experienced or knowledgable Tops love to pop that "second hole" and love the process of opening and getting in to fuck deep.

mine is definitely changed ever since a Dom Top made it His goal to change it, which i love that i can associate it with Him and His desire. mine is a slit and not a pucker anymore, but not a gaping hole (though i love the way that looks on guys). Unlike some, i like lube, lots of lube or cum, either works, but i love sloppy and a noisy, sloppy sounding hole when any Top fucks. i love it when a Top loads my hole up with lube if it's not already sloppy with cum. One of my favorite feelings is the since of immediacy i get when i have to go to the bathroom. i don't leak, but i have to squeeze my inner muscles sometimes to hold stuff in. i like it because it reminds me that my hole is no longer designed primarily for waste removal or retention, but is designed for easy access, penetration and fucking. To me, that since of urgency is my body reminding me that it wants to be empty and ready for a Man to penetrate. it's also got a little bit of a humiliation edge to it that's hard to put words on, knowing any guy can look at it and know that i love to be a place for a Man to penetrate and release His pleasure into.

i know, right? "Verbal" doesn't have to be mean or abusive. The most effective Dom i have ever sucked Dommed me by continually coaching me to take HIs massive, thick cock deeper into my throat. He was totally positive, but relentless, saying things like: "that's it, just around the curve, deeper...." When i would do it, He'd gush "Good boy, I'm so proud of you, arent't you proud of yourself?" Like He was talking to a little kid or a pet dog, it was subtle humiliation. He had me in an awkward positon, but had me look Him in the eyes. i was tearing from gagging, and my nose was running from it too. He'd ask me questions He knew i couldn't answer with my mouth full, but still expected some type of response. The overall effect was i adored Him. He had me so verbally Dommed, He collared my inner cocksucker and made me HIs.

i think the term "faggot" is fluid. For me, that fluidity has boundaries, for instance, it can only refer to a guy who takes cock, not who gives it. To me, a faggot is a guy who needs/wants to be physically, emotionally and intellectually penetrated by another guy. A faggot is the receptive one in a gay or bi relationship (i use "relationship loosely here, even a hook up is a brief "relationship"). Thus, the fluidity. For instance, a versatile guy may have times when he is a faggot whereas a total bottom who would be fine if he didn't even have a penis is getting more towards "total faggot." Anyway, that's how i see it.

i think it’s more a mental than physical phenomenon. I don’t think it depends on the bottom as much as it does the Top. A sweet ass is a thing to behold, and feel, but i believe most of this has to do with the mental and emotional disposition of the Top.

my previous thoughts were thinking out loud, not absolutes, just thoughts. Thinking more about it... i was married for half my life, most of my adult life, to a woman. We had sex, lots of it. i'd be lying if i said i didn't like it, but i still identify as "gay." So, maybe i'm off on my analysis of what constitutes "gay, straight and bi"? When i divorced, i thought i might be bi, because hell, i'd functioned well enough sexually with a woman for most o fly life. Before i married, my sexual attraction was pretty strictly towards guys, but it wasn't an option in my religiously conditioned brain and emotions. i did date a few women who i considered attractive, but when it came to sex, it was a no go for me. i didn't want it. i consider my marriage as sort of like straight guys who go to prison and have a romance with a guy, it's all that is available. For me, my "prison" was my beliefs that being gay was wrong. Once i processed through that, turns out, i'm gay lol. i even dated a trans person (FtM) and though i totally cognitively accepted this person was the guy he identified as, there was just something personality wise that reminded me of a woman and that turned me off sexually. i've had prolly a couple of thousand guys, but only ever had one woman, so i guess i do qualify as gay, but i did "try" sex with my former wife a lot more than once lol, so it may be that a straight guy can indeed have multiple sex encounters with a guy? idk. what's the attraction then and what qualifies him as still being straight and not bi?

i think this can be a hard one to nail down with a simple lable like "gay" or "straight." If we're being strict about the meaning of words, if a guy practices sex with males and females, he's bisexual. If he's "never had a boy before" he might be gay, straight or bi and still figuring it out. If you're his first boy, it's a 50/50 chance of which way it will go. If He likes it and wants to do it again, he's at least bisexual. If He decides, whoa, wtf, this is what i have been missing my whole life, he may be gay. If He tries you and just can't finish, or decides after that it was "meh" or even "gross," chances are he's straight. Honestly, i think the latter is gonna be pretty rare to get as far as penetration and unload if there is no attraction at all? It doesn't make any sense that He's gonna be able to get it up and slide it in without being turned on? i'd guess that you are looking for specific traits in a guy that you associate with being straight? Because by strict definition of terms, once He's fucked you the second time, he's no longer straight lol. The first time can be chalked up to giving it a try, but really, i just don't see a straight guy doing it more than once and keeping the title "straight?" what he said

Wow, this is a fascinating thread. It seems to me anyone in this situation should go for couples counseling to figure out the why's behind it and in order to determine a course of action. i don't think it's a healthy relationship, but all that has pretty much been said. What did strike me is that the rule of monogamy would be invoked. I don't think "monogamy" applies in a relationship that has no sex, that's a platonic relationship.

Guys like sex, you'll always be able to get some. i don't believe it's a question of age, even though that's a factor for some. There are many factors that influence getting sex, among them are looks, age, population, environment to list a few. One of the bigger impediments that i find is not just the Tops list of qualifications, but the bottoms. I.e., do you have them? From what you have said, you do. For instance "condoms used for anal" is a deal breaker for 99% of the guys on this site. Your profile says you are looking for "muscled," so for many reading that, that would leave them out. We have little control over another guys qualifications, but we do have some. But we have complete control over our own qualifications. The more you have, the less sex you will get.

lol, yeah that happens, eh? When i go to the gay resorts in Palm Springs i sometimes encounter a stubborn shower head, all the resorts were made in the 50's it seems, and some of the original plumbing is in place. i've always had success, so i'm guessing the hard to budge shower heads are the exception? i doubt they are permanently afixed, prolly just rust or a really tight hole.

I’m a little different with this, I’m pretty sub and the way I’m wired, I get off most on doing what my Top likes. I like the way I feel in panties on all sorts of levels, but what makes it work for me is if my Top asks or wants me to wear them. I associate stuff like that with a Tops desires, so as much as I may like wearing them, doing so independently feels like topping myself. My own individual twist I guess