tallslenderguy

Hey all, i'm off work for a week and am looking for a get away and sexcation. i usually end up in Palm Springs, but since i want to fly out tomorrow and it's Memorial Day weekend, prices are high and all the gay resorts are booked. Vegas is quick and easy and there are always tons of deals, so flying out tomorrow is not a big deal for cost or availability. my question is where? The last time i went to Vegas i stayed at the Excalibur. i did hook a half dozen times using Gindr and doing anonymous walk in. Bottom here, so i just left my door ajar for the hook up and was waiting ass up and naked on my bed. One guy came by 4 times lol, awesome. i also went to Hawks , a bathhouse in Vegas, it was pretty dismal. What i'd really like to find is a hotel that's maybe got a reputation for being cruisy? Or best places to slut out and get my hole loaded? Suggestions? Experienced info? Sordid sex stories lol?

i answered this when it was first asked, but i find ive changed? i still love a mans cum, but to me there is more than one way to breed. When a Top fucks me with a particular intent, knows how to communicate that intent and leaves me knowing that He has fulfilled His intent, i feel bred. i had a fb who's intent was to modify my hole, make it into his "pussy." To this day, if feel "bred" by Him, like He left a permanent part of Himself in me... breeding can be purely psychological for me, and that ends up being a deeper breeding than just physical cum.

i think there's some really good and thoughtful answers to this question. i don't really think there is a 'right' or 'wrong' answer, to me everyone adds some pieces to a puzzle? i think it's a heteronormative fantasy that there is a perfect fit for every person... which i don't think should keep one from looking for 'chemistry' with a person. To me it's a matter of finding enough harmonious notes with another person to make music. There's so many things that can get in the way of that, for instance, communication. Some guys are not self aware, so they don't even know if they would be into another guys kinks. Then there are guys who have what they perceive as "dark" fantasies, but are afraid to articulate them, or have no idea how to talk about them. Fear of opening up and/or inability to articulate who they are and what they like are two of the biggest impediments i find when trying to connect with a guy, especially in areas i consider deep ("dark, twisted, etc.?"). i try to practice openness and vulnerability with a guy i think might be a potential ("deep") connection. To me, that's leading by example, so to speak. "Leading" lol, not something typically associated with a sub or bottom. Sometimes scares guys away, sometimes makes them feel safe to express their own self, but then, sometimes they don't know how. Some expect you to pull it out of them, make you do all the work of exposing your self and getting them to talk. The really frustrating guys are those who expect you to read their mind, or just magically know how they are or what they like lol. sigh. Honestly, i don't think this is unique to Tops or Dom's, i've seen it just as much with us bottoms and subs. i've seen some amazingly wonderful and articulate Tops and Dom's on this site. i think it's a reflection of individual development and maturity. To me, the most mature attribute i look for is security enough to discuss and mutually learn about each other. This is way too clinical of a way to express it, but i see connection and bonding in physics terms, yin/yang. Positive ions attract and bond to negative ions (Top/bottom, Dom/sub). i think we have to know how to expose our 'ions' to each other in order to determine and experience attraction and bonding (bondage 😉 )

as a bottom, my own cumming isn't an issue. my view is as long as a breeder is in, there is no such thing as "premature." If He is in my hole, He is 'mature.' i fucking love a mans orgasm inside of me, i don't mind at all if i don't have to wait for it.

i am grateful for every guy in general, i love guys. And yeah, a guy can fill different needs in me, but logically, that's a mutual phenomena. i see the Top/bottom, Dom/sub, yin/yang dynamic as symbiotic. As a bottom, i desire and, arguably 'need' a Top. As a sub, i desire and need a Dom. But it's not that simple for me and i have discovered it's not always that simple for a Top or Dom. We're all intricate and all have our own particular makeup, chemistry, so finding a 'match' is often at varying levels. For instance we might each have 100 points of connection (random number to make a point), with some we might connect on 10 points, another 50, maybe another 90. To me, gratitude is evoked by connection, in both parties. i have found that not all Tops/Doms want a guy who automatically submits because part of His exercise of power is discovering how to get His sub/bottom to submit. One cannot 'conquer' someone who is already waving a white flag. For me, this all ties into the notion of gratitude and i submit that expression of gratitude depends on the individual.

and this too. This is beautifully stated and describes me perfectly too. There's a deeper connection in the Top/bottom dynamic that goes beyond the action of fucking, and this nails it. For me, it's not 'just'a matter of having my hole used, but experiencing someone who wants to have a permanent effect, merge a part of Himself with and in me, cum is a part of that.

If a guys ego and sex drive are attached to their cock, and you reject that, could be off-putting, Especially when there are so many bottoms who will take any cock or load.

If you are turning guys down at a bthhouse because they don't fit your criteria, unless other guys watching know why, they might feel intimidated, like you are unapproachable. They may want you or be attracted to you, but if they don't have some sort of signal that you want them, they may not try.

i think it's more accurate to say that: it seems like with lots of discussion, a lot of guys may be willing to wear a condom. Not wearing a condom is what comes naturally. It's the condom that is unnatural and requires 'reasons' to wear them.

The emotional and intellectual parts of the 'house' of sex have doors that are never opened, rooms that are never entered, beds that are never used, because the exterior of the house lacked curb appeal to the 'buyer.' i know this is often true even when looks and age are not considerations, that a lot of guys spend their entire sex lives in the physical realm and may only accidentally experience what it means to mind fuck or connect emotionally with another guy. Something that changed this for me was a FB i connected with weekly for over a year and a half. We did some mind blowing stuff together, and with all the times we got together, i never once saw Him. i was blindfolded every time, so looks and age didn't factor into my acceptance of this guy. It was a great experience having a relationship where i didn't have my sight, really enhanced my other senses, but it also removed the bias of visual attraction from the equation. Don't get me wrong, i think visual appeal is a thing that can matter, but i also think it's possible to put too much (or too frequent?) emphasis on it, and we lose out of a lot of other experience because the importance we place on it.

Gotta agree with this. Some of the research does looks promising, but i don't think there is published study evidence to make it a reasonably sure thing.

Here's a source with citation: http://www.prepineurope.org/en/faqs/does-prep-work/intermittent-prep/

wanted to add: i see a distinction between experience and maturity. Experience can bring maturity, but it doesn't always, depends on the individual. Older guys can be immature and younger guys can be more mature because of how they have responded to their experience, even though it may be less because of age/time. Conversely, an older guy can tout and rely on his experience, without having much maturity. i'm turned on by maturity, not experience.

Voted "age doesn't matter." But it's not that simple. There are common attributes that are easily associated with age, but then along comes the uncommon guys to knock the hell out of stereotypical notions. i paid a high price for my freedom, peace and the understanding that comes with it, so my attractions are usually strongest with guys who have depth beyond their ability to physically penetrate. i work in healthcare in a critical care setting. Lots of the guys i work with (most) are younger than me. It's a teaching hospital, so lots of resident doctors. Some of the guys that just blow me away are CNA's who (literally) deal with shit all day and maintain an amazing heart. They bring me to tears frequently, that they have the depth and maturity of kindness and grace in an often unrelentingly hard environment. i love them and keep it carefully non sexual so as not to be a creep. i have great connections with younger people because i really get that age doesn't equal maturity or imaturity. That's really presumptuous. The truth is, i love guys pretty universally and can usually find something to connect to (in addition to the physical). i never make the first move with a younger guy. i'm intimidated by natural beauty, makes me feel old and gross by comparison. On hook up sites, i don't frequently run into guys that have the obvious emotional and intellectual qualities like i do at work? They're probably there, just harder to identify. Older guys? Less beauty to intimidate, but it can still be a factor lol, sigh. i have less patient with older guys who do not know who they are and/or cannot articulate. Guys who are like pulling teeth to get to know....am i going way beyond the scope of this question lol? i'm an emotional/intellectual fucker and i connect best with guys who use their minds and feelings as part of sex. Age has benefits and barriers on both ends it seems, enough to where i know it would be ignorant to use it as a dileniating factor.

i love this, and not sure i can completely articulate why? (but that never stops me from trying lol). i know i love You for articulating Your thoughts and feelings. i love that You recognize and enjoy the challenge of 'winning' (more fully connecting because barriers are removed?). i think there is more than the pleasure of physical orgasm fueling the sex drive. We see it in other mammals, using sex to establish 'pecking order,' 'alpha dominance, etc..' i want to think that one of the things that separates us from animals is the addition of reason and thought to our instincts that gives us a broader, more detailed experience of living. The spectrum theory of sexual identity makes the most sense to me, i.e., each of us lands somewhere on a sexual spectrum. E.g. Straight on one end, gay on the other, Dom on one end, sub on the other, Top on one end, bottom on the other. i think that's way over simplified, and that the "spectrum" is not just lineal, but multidimensional. Annnnnd, it's not static, but fluid lol. Course, glass is fluid, as is water, but one moves more quickly than the other... multidimensional. i suspect some of the most 'sub' appearing guys are the hardest to "win." That they possess the "manly" attribute of control, it's just well hidden. "Hardest," to win because their resistance, control, is hidden behind the submission they give. i love the notion of a Dom/Top surprising a sub by exposing well hidden resistance, or control/dominance even he wasn't aware was there. i think a lot of the insatiable lust that some bottoms experience is the (unconscious?) search for a someone who can expose, subdue and possess them. i think the true is about Tops in the reverse, that the drive is similar from opposite poles.

Sleep with your cock in a bottom. i volunteer to help You out, hate the thought of Your cum being wasted.

The only Top i have a hard time taking is one with a condom on, and then it’s not the Top i find “repugnant, “ it’s the condom. i don’t view sex as “taking any cock/load.” For me it’s a matter of taking any guy. I can’t really disconnect the guy from His cock, and im kinda guy crazy, so repugnant just doesn’t fit as a descriptor. When i was in Palm Springs a few weeks ago, i hooked with a guy who had no legs and practically no ass, his cock seemed like it had been reconstructed. i’m a nurse and felt totally comfortable with Him and was kissing and caressing His stumps. He was practically in tears and said no one ever touches Him there. Hell, i loved it, He was so obviously enjoying my pleasuring Him, and that’s what feeds my bottom soul more than anything, the connection of giving a guy pleasure.

Funny that, in Oregon as long as you are in a booth, it’s considered a private room and consensual sex between adults. The local ABS where i live shares a parking lot with the State Police Department, which is right next door.

LMAO, sigh. ditto dear Eros. Competitive bottoms baffle me too. i've left cruising locales before when i noted too many bottoms. i'd rather let a fellow bottom have the Tops looking than compete with them. my overarching emotion for guys is i really just love guys, bottoms or Tops, Dom's or subs, even if i am not sexually compatible with everyone. i love when a fellow bottom or sub gets what they need/want as much as i love it when a Top or Dom does. i like happy, lusty, fulfilled guys. i feel badly for guys who cannot get erect yet obviously want to fuck. i try to be encouraging in case it isn't physiological, but honestly, i often end up feeling distressed for them. i've had guys who want to be FB's who seem to be convinced that they have been fucking me the last few times, but actually have had performance issues... i wonder how they maintain the fantasy, i'd think they'd be really frustrated and stop. i know some guys really get off on "rough" sex, including dry penetration and sandpaper fingers. It's a buzz kill for me. And fingernails... eek! Poppers. Their original use was as an anti anginal (heart pain related to ischemia, or lack of blood flow/oxygen to the heart). It's a vasodilator and has side effect of dropping blood pressure. i suspect that the only reason there are not more popper accidents is because of it's short half life and efficacy duration.

i've definitely evolved in this area. i still am attracted to guys visually. i work in a hospital and have to be careful that i am not obvious when i stare at a passing guys ass. A guys ass is my biggest turn on visually, even though i'm pretty much a total bottom with a lot of sub in me. Having said that, it turns out a guys looks don't really matter to me if their personality is pushing my buttons. i drove 3 hours (one way) to pick a guy up and bring him to my house two weeks ago. We'd talked a lot online and online, we were very hot for each other. As seems to almost be the rule with me, when it comes to more than hook up, it seems that every guy i've ever met online and did more than hook with was very different from what they seemed online. In this guys case, he looked a lot older than his online pics. His body was not in good shape. He's been poz since the early 90's and some of the early meds He took affected his fat distribution. He smelled, very strong body odor. He also had a goatee, and i'm not really into facial hair. And, absolutely none of the would have mattered if His personality from online had been the same in person. He was a nice guy, but versatile and wanted my penis, that pretty much shut me down. We had discussed the fact that i'm a total bottom extensively. i had asked him (online) point blank if it bothered him that i don't want my penis touched and He said it "turned him on" and it didn't matter at all. It did in reality, and it was that, not his looks or smell that mattered. i let him have his way with my penis too, i have a lot of sub in me and that part of me kicked in, so we got along, but the chemistry was what mattered, not looks.

Not having a true "dark room." The closest city where i have access to a bath house is Portland Oregon, and there are two there. One doesn't even have a dark room and the other'd dark room is the size of a walk in closet. Its so small that the light from the door (dark plastic slats) makes it only semi dark. i have yet to experience a dark room that is at least the size of a bedroom and is pitch black so all you can you have is hearing and feeling to go by.

i think this is a great question! i've had 3 D/s "relationships" but i only fell in love with one, and i fell very hard and far, that was unreciprocated. The other two i like and care about, but wouldn't say i was "in love" with either. The one i was in love with definitely brought out deeper feelings of submission. i also experienced feeling adoration for Him.

As others have noted, D/s is not a simple topic (or endeavor). i've been told by a Dom i was in a D/s relationship with that i was the most submissive guy He'd ever met, even though we ended the D/s part of our relationship (we're still great friends) because He is physically Sadist and i am not a masochist. i don't consider S/m to be synonymous with D/s, but some guys link the two together. There's no D/s regulating committee that sets the rules and standards of D/s relationship, it ends up coming down to individual chemistry. i've met enough Dom guys who eschew physical sadism to know that sadism and Dom do not necessarily go hand in hand, yet they are still "extremely" Dom. i agree with the sentiment of Skinster's post, that it's very difficult to find anyone who is willing to work at relationship, on either side of the equation. Hook up has become the rule, it is so much easier to attain "instant gratification" than long term relationship. Most aps promote hooking, not finding a ltr. Yet , i think it takes time to discover and/or develop the connections that can lead to bonds between people. i think a big part of the problem is the expectation (on either side) of instant "extreme."

i'm so totally into anything coming out of a Tops body going into mine, i have all sorts of fantasies about it. To me, there's a psychological mind fuck to it where a Top 'marks' or impregnates His bottom. One of my fantasies involves condom catheters worn by the Top, with a tube attached to the end that He inserts into me before we go to sleep. Any time He pees during the night, His piss automatically goes into me via the condom cath He is wearing and the tube He has inserted into me to convey His piss into me. i've thought of different scenarios, like an inflatable enema nozzle to ensure the tube and piss stays in.

i have naturally hairy ass and go back and forth between shaving or not. Like others, Tops seem to be 50/50 on which they prefer, and that's my first concern. But it never fails, as soon as i shave it i run into a Top who wants hairy. sigh As for me, i absolutely love the look and feel of it smooth, on me and other guys. Hairy legs are good, neutral on that, but hairless chest, cock, balls, ass make me salivate. There have been exceptions. There was a guy at yoga class i could barely take my eyes off his very furry ass in the dressing room, it was fucking gorgeous. But i suspect it also had to do with his slight body and gentle personality too. He didn't have a 'hairy' personality. Which is totally silly, i know, but i am not into hyper masculinity. Quiet confidence grabs me more than overt expressions of masculinity. For whatever reason, i seem to associate hairy with a certain kind of masculinity, which doesn't fit who i am at all, so i feel like i am dressed wrong when let my pubic hair grow. THe best for me is a guy who likes to shave and de=hair me. That takes the lid off for me and gets to the contents of making me hairless as a form of subjugation.