tallslenderguy

i've seen some pretty big ball sacks at the hospital where work, we call it "edema." If you do something like inject saline or pump, it won't generally last. If your body is working right, it will absorb the excess fluid that causes the swelling, our bodies are always working to maintain homeostasis (balance). As a bottom with a decided sub side, i love big balls and low hangers on another guy. my testicles tend to float up into my body, and honestly, given my bottom/sub nature, i kinda like that. i relate big balls and low hangers to being Top and/or Dom, so i love them on other guys and also love that they are not prominent on me. i am deeply drawn to the attraction energy of opposites.

my mind. i'm thoroughly into mind fuck, so i try to exercise my mind a lot. The challenge is i hate to exercise solo, and prefer exercising with a trainer.

Fuck, i so love you. For me, it's pretty much all about the Top wanting/needing to "sculpt" my hole. It is the energy, need, desire behind that that connects to my 'sub' soul. It's the place where a Dom/Top can not only connect to me, but bond with me... which i see as true 'bondage.' i see a Dom/Top as a guy whos's nature is to penetrate another guy with His self and leave a part of His 'self' there, create something with His signature on it. i see a sub/bottom as one who's nature is to respond and receive that as part of the creative process of nature (is this way too cerebral for a Saturday?). To me, the first type of "rough" isn't rough at all, it's an expression of passion. my visceral response to bullies, on the other hand, or guys who are rough to make their self feel tough is its pretend domination. To me, it's just not real (note, i qualify: "to me"). They may hurt me, but they won't get to my inner sub. In fact, they will drive that part of me away. For me, a "wrecked hole" from a passionate Top who loves/needs/desires to create, inseminate,impregnate, represents the "impregnation." Not a perfect analogy, i know. For me, things like a "wrecked hole" are arguments for ongoing relationship (which is not to suggest monogamy), where a Top can look at His bottoms hole and say: "i'm responsible for that pussy, I made it like that." i had a FB who's intent was to open my hole as part of His creative energy. He worked on it once a week for over a year and a half. A few months into our relationship, i noticed that if i had to use the bathroom, i had more of a sense of urgency, that my hole was no longer tight. When i told my FB He told me that that was because He had changed my hole from an ass hole for shitting into a pussy for fucking. As long as He was using it, it remained that way and every time i had to use the bathroom, it triggered in me that He had turned my hole into His pussy. i didn't think of it as a pussy, but as His. And i didn't consider it the least bit "wrecked", though i get the term makes me hot.

i love your understanding and intelligence. A frustration with being gay and into fucking (for both Tops and bottoms) is the trick of nature that combines sex organs with waste removal. That dual function is true about every sex organ, male or female. i sort of envy the Tops who don't care, or even get into it, if their bottom is not cleaned out. Not because i am into that, but because i am into spontaneous sex. i hate to have to tell a FB i am not cleaned out. i know it is not rational, but with my sub nature, i feel like i have failed them...

Personally, i'm not turned on by force. For me, there is more power in a 'grooming', subtle approach by a Dom. Not implying this is a universal truth, just how it is for me. To me, force is a cover for inadequacy. For me, a confident and secure Dom doesn't need force, He doesn't have to "make" me do anything, because He really believes and 'knows' that a sub wants to submit to Him. To me, part of the D/s dynamic is the Dom releasing, bringing out the sub if it's there. i think in a D/s connection, the dom needs a subs submission and the sub needs the doms control. The more 'real' the two can be with each other, the more real the connection, bond (bondage?). Lace panties work for me as a Dom tool because i am not fem on my own. Panties are not something i get off on wearing on my own. The Man who Dom's me using panties does it progressively, each time reaching deeper and eliciting deeper submission from me. At first, He just plants the idea by casually telling me He thinks it is hot when a guy wears lace panties. He knows that will have the effect of stirring the sub in me who wants to submit and please Him. It's almost a tease. Uses the 'salt principle" (i.e., give the sub something salty to make him thirsty). The next time He was more direct, telling me He thought i'd look hot in a pair of lace panties. He made it personal by letting me know my wearing lace panties would please Him. He followed that up by asking if i would wear lace panties for Him. To me, that last step is the risky one that demonstrates the Dom's courage and self confidence. Sort of like the rule for lawyers to never ask a question they don't already know the answer too. I.e., He knew at that point that i really wanted to wear lace panties because He knew i wanted to please Him. But as a Dom, He wants more than just my desire to please Him, His dominant nature is to penetrate and impregnate me and this process is fucking for Him. Next step is to provide panties of His choosing for me to wear (it's His 'seed'). Once i am wearing them, He has inseminated me, but His goal is to 'impregnate' me, not just see me as impregnated, but impregnate me with His seed. If He really knows me and is Dom, He knows it's not a question of my just wearing panties, it's wearing panties for Him. Next, He firmly establishes His control and the fact that He was in control the whole time, that His "asking" was not asking at all because He knew the answer ahead of time. He can simply state, assume and assert that i am His panty boy, or pussy or whatever terms He likes to use. And He knows when He makes such assertions, my response is not role play or some forced response, but that He has sort of possessed me, subjugating my sub self through seduction and grooming.

Hey all, i'm off work for a week and am looking for a get away and sexcation. i usually end up in Palm Springs, but since i want to fly out tomorrow and it's Memorial Day weekend, prices are high and all the gay resorts are booked. Vegas is quick and easy and there are always tons of deals, so flying out tomorrow is not a big deal for cost or availability. my question is where? The last time i went to Vegas i stayed at the Excalibur. i did hook a half dozen times using Gindr and doing anonymous walk in. Bottom here, so i just left my door ajar for the hook up and was waiting ass up and naked on my bed. One guy came by 4 times lol, awesome. i also went to Hawks , a bathhouse in Vegas, it was pretty dismal. What i'd really like to find is a hotel that's maybe got a reputation for being cruisy? Or best places to slut out and get my hole loaded? Suggestions? Experienced info? Sordid sex stories lol?

i answered this when it was first asked, but i find ive changed? i still love a mans cum, but to me there is more than one way to breed. When a Top fucks me with a particular intent, knows how to communicate that intent and leaves me knowing that He has fulfilled His intent, i feel bred. i had a fb who's intent was to modify my hole, make it into his "pussy." To this day, if feel "bred" by Him, like He left a permanent part of Himself in me... breeding can be purely psychological for me, and that ends up being a deeper breeding than just physical cum.

i think there's some really good and thoughtful answers to this question. i don't really think there is a 'right' or 'wrong' answer, to me everyone adds some pieces to a puzzle? i think it's a heteronormative fantasy that there is a perfect fit for every person... which i don't think should keep one from looking for 'chemistry' with a person. To me it's a matter of finding enough harmonious notes with another person to make music. There's so many things that can get in the way of that, for instance, communication. Some guys are not self aware, so they don't even know if they would be into another guys kinks. Then there are guys who have what they perceive as "dark" fantasies, but are afraid to articulate them, or have no idea how to talk about them. Fear of opening up and/or inability to articulate who they are and what they like are two of the biggest impediments i find when trying to connect with a guy, especially in areas i consider deep ("dark, twisted, etc.?"). i try to practice openness and vulnerability with a guy i think might be a potential ("deep") connection. To me, that's leading by example, so to speak. "Leading" lol, not something typically associated with a sub or bottom. Sometimes scares guys away, sometimes makes them feel safe to express their own self, but then, sometimes they don't know how. Some expect you to pull it out of them, make you do all the work of exposing your self and getting them to talk. The really frustrating guys are those who expect you to read their mind, or just magically know how they are or what they like lol. sigh. Honestly, i don't think this is unique to Tops or Dom's, i've seen it just as much with us bottoms and subs. i've seen some amazingly wonderful and articulate Tops and Dom's on this site. i think it's a reflection of individual development and maturity. To me, the most mature attribute i look for is security enough to discuss and mutually learn about each other. This is way too clinical of a way to express it, but i see connection and bonding in physics terms, yin/yang. Positive ions attract and bond to negative ions (Top/bottom, Dom/sub). i think we have to know how to expose our 'ions' to each other in order to determine and experience attraction and bonding (bondage 😉 )

as a bottom, my own cumming isn't an issue. my view is as long as a breeder is in, there is no such thing as "premature." If He is in my hole, He is 'mature.' i fucking love a mans orgasm inside of me, i don't mind at all if i don't have to wait for it.

i am grateful for every guy in general, i love guys. And yeah, a guy can fill different needs in me, but logically, that's a mutual phenomena. i see the Top/bottom, Dom/sub, yin/yang dynamic as symbiotic. As a bottom, i desire and, arguably 'need' a Top. As a sub, i desire and need a Dom. But it's not that simple for me and i have discovered it's not always that simple for a Top or Dom. We're all intricate and all have our own particular makeup, chemistry, so finding a 'match' is often at varying levels. For instance we might each have 100 points of connection (random number to make a point), with some we might connect on 10 points, another 50, maybe another 90. To me, gratitude is evoked by connection, in both parties. i have found that not all Tops/Doms want a guy who automatically submits because part of His exercise of power is discovering how to get His sub/bottom to submit. One cannot 'conquer' someone who is already waving a white flag. For me, this all ties into the notion of gratitude and i submit that expression of gratitude depends on the individual.

and this too. This is beautifully stated and describes me perfectly too. There's a deeper connection in the Top/bottom dynamic that goes beyond the action of fucking, and this nails it. For me, it's not 'just'a matter of having my hole used, but experiencing someone who wants to have a permanent effect, merge a part of Himself with and in me, cum is a part of that.

If a guys ego and sex drive are attached to their cock, and you reject that, could be off-putting, Especially when there are so many bottoms who will take any cock or load.

If you are turning guys down at a bthhouse because they don't fit your criteria, unless other guys watching know why, they might feel intimidated, like you are unapproachable. They may want you or be attracted to you, but if they don't have some sort of signal that you want them, they may not try.

i think it's more accurate to say that: it seems like with lots of discussion, a lot of guys may be willing to wear a condom. Not wearing a condom is what comes naturally. It's the condom that is unnatural and requires 'reasons' to wear them.

The emotional and intellectual parts of the 'house' of sex have doors that are never opened, rooms that are never entered, beds that are never used, because the exterior of the house lacked curb appeal to the 'buyer.' i know this is often true even when looks and age are not considerations, that a lot of guys spend their entire sex lives in the physical realm and may only accidentally experience what it means to mind fuck or connect emotionally with another guy. Something that changed this for me was a FB i connected with weekly for over a year and a half. We did some mind blowing stuff together, and with all the times we got together, i never once saw Him. i was blindfolded every time, so looks and age didn't factor into my acceptance of this guy. It was a great experience having a relationship where i didn't have my sight, really enhanced my other senses, but it also removed the bias of visual attraction from the equation. Don't get me wrong, i think visual appeal is a thing that can matter, but i also think it's possible to put too much (or too frequent?) emphasis on it, and we lose out of a lot of other experience because the importance we place on it.

Gotta agree with this. Some of the research does looks promising, but i don't think there is published study evidence to make it a reasonably sure thing.

Here's a source with citation: http://www.prepineurope.org/en/faqs/does-prep-work/intermittent-prep/

wanted to add: i see a distinction between experience and maturity. Experience can bring maturity, but it doesn't always, depends on the individual. Older guys can be immature and younger guys can be more mature because of how they have responded to their experience, even though it may be less because of age/time. Conversely, an older guy can tout and rely on his experience, without having much maturity. i'm turned on by maturity, not experience.

Voted "age doesn't matter." But it's not that simple. There are common attributes that are easily associated with age, but then along comes the uncommon guys to knock the hell out of stereotypical notions. i paid a high price for my freedom, peace and the understanding that comes with it, so my attractions are usually strongest with guys who have depth beyond their ability to physically penetrate. i work in healthcare in a critical care setting. Lots of the guys i work with (most) are younger than me. It's a teaching hospital, so lots of resident doctors. Some of the guys that just blow me away are CNA's who (literally) deal with shit all day and maintain an amazing heart. They bring me to tears frequently, that they have the depth and maturity of kindness and grace in an often unrelentingly hard environment. i love them and keep it carefully non sexual so as not to be a creep. i have great connections with younger people because i really get that age doesn't equal maturity or imaturity. That's really presumptuous. The truth is, i love guys pretty universally and can usually find something to connect to (in addition to the physical). i never make the first move with a younger guy. i'm intimidated by natural beauty, makes me feel old and gross by comparison. On hook up sites, i don't frequently run into guys that have the obvious emotional and intellectual qualities like i do at work? They're probably there, just harder to identify. Older guys? Less beauty to intimidate, but it can still be a factor lol, sigh. i have less patient with older guys who do not know who they are and/or cannot articulate. Guys who are like pulling teeth to get to know....am i going way beyond the scope of this question lol? i'm an emotional/intellectual fucker and i connect best with guys who use their minds and feelings as part of sex. Age has benefits and barriers on both ends it seems, enough to where i know it would be ignorant to use it as a dileniating factor.

i love this, and not sure i can completely articulate why? (but that never stops me from trying lol). i know i love You for articulating Your thoughts and feelings. i love that You recognize and enjoy the challenge of 'winning' (more fully connecting because barriers are removed?). i think there is more than the pleasure of physical orgasm fueling the sex drive. We see it in other mammals, using sex to establish 'pecking order,' 'alpha dominance, etc..' i want to think that one of the things that separates us from animals is the addition of reason and thought to our instincts that gives us a broader, more detailed experience of living. The spectrum theory of sexual identity makes the most sense to me, i.e., each of us lands somewhere on a sexual spectrum. E.g. Straight on one end, gay on the other, Dom on one end, sub on the other, Top on one end, bottom on the other. i think that's way over simplified, and that the "spectrum" is not just lineal, but multidimensional. Annnnnd, it's not static, but fluid lol. Course, glass is fluid, as is water, but one moves more quickly than the other... multidimensional. i suspect some of the most 'sub' appearing guys are the hardest to "win." That they possess the "manly" attribute of control, it's just well hidden. "Hardest," to win because their resistance, control, is hidden behind the submission they give. i love the notion of a Dom/Top surprising a sub by exposing well hidden resistance, or control/dominance even he wasn't aware was there. i think a lot of the insatiable lust that some bottoms experience is the (unconscious?) search for a someone who can expose, subdue and possess them. i think the true is about Tops in the reverse, that the drive is similar from opposite poles.

Sleep with your cock in a bottom. i volunteer to help You out, hate the thought of Your cum being wasted.

The only Top i have a hard time taking is one with a condom on, and then it’s not the Top i find “repugnant, “ it’s the condom. i don’t view sex as “taking any cock/load.” For me it’s a matter of taking any guy. I can’t really disconnect the guy from His cock, and im kinda guy crazy, so repugnant just doesn’t fit as a descriptor. When i was in Palm Springs a few weeks ago, i hooked with a guy who had no legs and practically no ass, his cock seemed like it had been reconstructed. i’m a nurse and felt totally comfortable with Him and was kissing and caressing His stumps. He was practically in tears and said no one ever touches Him there. Hell, i loved it, He was so obviously enjoying my pleasuring Him, and that’s what feeds my bottom soul more than anything, the connection of giving a guy pleasure.

Funny that, in Oregon as long as you are in a booth, it’s considered a private room and consensual sex between adults. The local ABS where i live shares a parking lot with the State Police Department, which is right next door.

LMAO, sigh. ditto dear Eros. Competitive bottoms baffle me too. i've left cruising locales before when i noted too many bottoms. i'd rather let a fellow bottom have the Tops looking than compete with them. my overarching emotion for guys is i really just love guys, bottoms or Tops, Dom's or subs, even if i am not sexually compatible with everyone. i love when a fellow bottom or sub gets what they need/want as much as i love it when a Top or Dom does. i like happy, lusty, fulfilled guys. i feel badly for guys who cannot get erect yet obviously want to fuck. i try to be encouraging in case it isn't physiological, but honestly, i often end up feeling distressed for them. i've had guys who want to be FB's who seem to be convinced that they have been fucking me the last few times, but actually have had performance issues... i wonder how they maintain the fantasy, i'd think they'd be really frustrated and stop. i know some guys really get off on "rough" sex, including dry penetration and sandpaper fingers. It's a buzz kill for me. And fingernails... eek! Poppers. Their original use was as an anti anginal (heart pain related to ischemia, or lack of blood flow/oxygen to the heart). It's a vasodilator and has side effect of dropping blood pressure. i suspect that the only reason there are not more popper accidents is because of it's short half life and efficacy duration.

i've definitely evolved in this area. i still am attracted to guys visually. i work in a hospital and have to be careful that i am not obvious when i stare at a passing guys ass. A guys ass is my biggest turn on visually, even though i'm pretty much a total bottom with a lot of sub in me. Having said that, it turns out a guys looks don't really matter to me if their personality is pushing my buttons. i drove 3 hours (one way) to pick a guy up and bring him to my house two weeks ago. We'd talked a lot online and online, we were very hot for each other. As seems to almost be the rule with me, when it comes to more than hook up, it seems that every guy i've ever met online and did more than hook with was very different from what they seemed online. In this guys case, he looked a lot older than his online pics. His body was not in good shape. He's been poz since the early 90's and some of the early meds He took affected his fat distribution. He smelled, very strong body odor. He also had a goatee, and i'm not really into facial hair. And, absolutely none of the would have mattered if His personality from online had been the same in person. He was a nice guy, but versatile and wanted my penis, that pretty much shut me down. We had discussed the fact that i'm a total bottom extensively. i had asked him (online) point blank if it bothered him that i don't want my penis touched and He said it "turned him on" and it didn't matter at all. It did in reality, and it was that, not his looks or smell that mattered. i let him have his way with my penis too, i have a lot of sub in me and that part of me kicked in, so we got along, but the chemistry was what mattered, not looks.