tallslenderguy

i've written this one elsewhere, but it fits here too. When i did a stent at a hospital in Virgnina, there was a cruisy park on a river with this bridge. At sunset i'd stand in the center and pretend to be bent over the rail looking at the water. When i would see a guy step onto the bridge from either end , i'd lower my shorts just enough to show a little ass for him to see when he walked by. If i felt him pause or thought he was looking, i'd subtlly lower them a bit more to encourage him. Can't count the number of times a guy would come over to me, wordlessly pull my shorts down the rest way, slide his cock in and breed me right then and there, then walk off after unloading leaving my loaded bare ass. Sometimes others would see and take their turn. With all the wood work and at dusk it's hard to really see what's going on on the middle of the bridge unless you really look. Enough to wonder if you really saw what you thought you did? But was long enough to pull your shorts up if you saw someone coming from a distance, so even if they saw you, there'd always be a question: "did i just see two guys fucking?" lol, was very hot

Funny how things can change. Went back and read my response to this 3 years ago, and while i still am not into smelly cock, i won't reject it even if i don't like the smell. i'll still suck any cock.

lol, this is about as subtle as a train wreck, but the guy did have guts and style. i think the internet is changing/has changed our skill set for connecting. Before the internet an hook up sites and aps, we "cruised." Yeah, some cute guy/s came up with hankerchief codes, but we also ended up coming up with a term "gaydar" to try and explain the subtle commumication, the visual and other cues that we developed and used to identify each other. For a long time, that was prolly hugely related to survival, being to overt could get you bashed or worse. Here's a few visuals: staring at a guys cock till he notices you looking, then licking your lips. There's been occasions where i felt bold enough to 'accidentally' brush or bump his crotch. If i wanna get fucked, bred, i'll present my ass, maybe scratch my ass... but a more sensuous 'scratch' , more of an invitation. Depending on circumstances, i may lower my pants/shorts to show some crack. If i am standing at a urinal in a restroom, i'll often lower my pants enough to show some crack/ass.

This is a topic that effects me and, from posts i have read here, seems to effect a lot of guys? i use the word "humiliation" for lack of a better descriptor, but i think most will get the general idea. This is a mysterious topic to me. i don't feel like i 'suffer' from issues of self esteem. i don't hate myself or being gay or being bottom. i don't think i am bad or wrong. Yet, there is something inside of me that responds with a response close to adoration when a Top exercises a kind of affectionate, matter of fact humiliation on me. It feels powerfully affirming-which i find paradoxical, and it is one of the deeper, more vital parts of my sexuality. i know this is where we'll likely find a lot of variety of response to this, because i know a lot of guys get into "rough" or "bullying," or "force," etc.. All are welcome to discuss their thing, this is not a judgement or attempt to set a standard, but an exploration of the overall topic of humiliation. What kind of humiliation to you like (if any) and what is it about giving or receiving humiliation that you like? What are your thoughts and feelings on the topic?

There is an entire culture (often religious, like Pence's) that believes that there is no such thing as 'being gay.' I.e., they think we are "broken, perverted, sick, etc. etc.." They even developed a whole system to de-gay guys (and chicks) called "reparative therapy." Guys like Pence think they know "God" and, additionally, they think they know what "God" wants and what "God" doesn't want. So, they try and enact laws accordingly. It wasn't that long ago that a gay person could get arrested for fucking with another guy. The Trump administration and it's supporters scare the hell out of me. There are so many similarities to Nazi Germany, it's spooky. Not many people realize how progressive and liberal Germany was prior to Hitler and his ilk. i love the movie "Cabaret" for it's representation of culture prior to and after Nazi's got in power. i don't doubt for a second that if guys like Pence had their way, being gay would be illegal, sites like BZ would not exist and many of us would be in prison. We might be given the 'choice' of reparative therapy at our trials.

i work in healthcare (critical care nurse), so naturally my mind sees other uses for stuff used at work. Here's a fun one, "condom catheters." A tube is attached to the end of these so the urine can flow into a bag... but of course, the end of the tube can go anywhere you like 😉 https://www.shopcatheters.com/p-coloplast-freedom-clear-silicone-self-adhering-male-external-condom-catheter.html?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIjeP0l5794QIVgsVkCh1o9AFoEAYYBiABEgIuz_D_BwE

This is what i use. It's a 60ml syringe. By contrast i think the blue one pictured is 10ml in size?

i don't think i'd go to the trouble of trying to get the cum from a condom out of the condom and into this. i have a simple method when i find a used condom where i just put it in my hole while turning it inside out. I.e., i put my finger on the filled in and push that part into my hole. The friction from the sides of my hole wipe all the cum off the condom and leave it in my hole... where it belongs 😉

Ha, interesting. That almost seems kind of obvious when one looks at it, but i never connected that. i have a long term fantasy of being stealth booty bumped, but suspect the reality would not be as hot as the fantasy. i have 50 mL syringes that i fill with Elbow Grease lube and leave out for hook ups to use on me when they find me presenting my hole for them. i have yet to ever have a guy use one of them one me? They always go for the jar or bottle of lube? As for using it for cum? i wish more guys valued their seed and were careful/thoughful about wasting cum when jacking off. i wish all Tops saved their cum with the intent of eventually insemenating a bottom with their seed. If that were common mentality, these things would be common too?

Ditto this. Kissing is a mystery to me. i'll take and love any guy who needs/wants to breed, but my response to kissing is more emotionally refined? That may just be a matter of evolution for me, because i didn't always have the universal love for guys that i do now. I.e., there was a time when i was selective about who's cock i took. Now, sex is so much deeper than a physical act for me, at the risk of sounding flakey, it's practically spiritual. It's important to me that the guys i'm with know how much i love and appreciate them, and i find that isn't hard to do the more i do it. It seems most guys are more experienced expressing their selves with their cocks than they are with their lips (i.e. "kissing"). Just like their are guys who are more in touch with what they are actually doing with their cocks, their are guys who seem more in touch with the effects of their kisses. To me, the "art form" involves reading the responses of the kissed guy and kissing accordingly. i've had guys who were so good at this that their kisses seemingly put me into a trance. i've also had guys who were so disconnected and unaware of the effects of their kisses, it was like kissing a vacuum cleaner instead of a person. So, to me, kissing art form involves self awareness and observational skills that increases that awareness to their partner.

Took a load about 5 minutes ago from a regular. This FB usually breeds my hole (he calls it a "pussy"). Our relationship is pretty simple, when He needs to unload He sends me an email, this morning the subject title was: "hey slut" and the message was: "free today?" He usually comes in my open back door and finds me naked and ass up. He mounts, breeds and leaves. Last fall He asked for a BJ and i said sure. So instead of waiting naked and ass up, i left my front door open with porn playing on the living room tv. He came in, took His clothes off and sat on my sofa watching porn. i waited facing away from Him in my kitchen ass exposed, till He got situated. Apparently, He likes my BJ's, He sure gave a lot of verbal feed back. Since then, He gets a BJ about 25% of the time. It's actually a decent substitute if i am not prepped and He doesn't have a lot of time, or needs to cum ' right now' That was the case this morning, He wanted pussy, but didn't want to wait for me to prep, so He came over and shot a sweet load down my throat. i really like this FB because He is always verbal and i can tell He likes what He is getting... which just makes me try harder.

reading this pushed some big buttons in me, one of them is adoration. It's hard not to adore such and attentive and considerate Dom. damn, i love every detail of this.

would you link the plugs you are referring too? MEO has so many, and my search for "grommets" didn't turn anything up....

It took me a long time to consciously understand that i'm what i term a "social exerciser." When i was a kid i tried running, fail, was bored to tears and had no stamina for it. But i'd play tennis for 8 hours and never get tired of it. When i got older, i became a martial artist and did it every other day for 25 years. When i injured my knee doing a jumping axe kick, i went into Bikram yoga (which turned out to be harder than martial arts). i moved to a place that didn't have Bikram, got a bicycle, maybe rode it 10x, a rowing machine, it's gathering dust in my home office. i realized that if there were other people involved in my regimen, i did it regularly, was like going out to eat with friends, if it was solo, major fail.

Doggie sometimes doesn't work well with me because of my long legs, seems lots of guys can't reach my hole that way and they end up in awkward positions or standing, and i like my Top to be comfortable and in charge. Honestly, it's the size of a guys comfort and confidence in who He is that matters most to me.

Any one is welcome to comment, but this is prolly mostly for those who bottom and clean out. We are a generally the same anatomically, but there can be differences too. i know there are others who have experienced this: water retention from clean out. Sometimes that can be a good thing, like when a Top pisses in me. i love to retain whatever a Top leaves in me from Himself, so i've slept overnight with piss in me without mishap. I've been stealth pissed at an ABS and didn't realize it till much later at home. i suspect a guy pissed in me at an ABS once and i was bred by two guys after without leaking, i suspect i'd been pissed in thinking back (deep pauses while fucking). So that's a plus. But there are times when doing a deep clean out when it is tricky to get all the water out. my tricks are fingers, long dildos, or while in the shower, taking my long douche nozzle off the hose and pushing it deep... that can work pretty well cause it makes a sort of drain hole. i also have a habit of 'resting' for a bit in case my body moves some water out. With all of that though, i;ve had times where i've come home from being slutty and have an undeniable urgency and gush water. That's kinda scary because i figure just one long cock at the wrong time could have resulted in a flood. What do you guys do to ensure all the water is out first? Is there a fool proof method you've found?

i'd change "...I am normally to scared to be so open and public..." to "I was normally to scared to be so open and public...." ?

i have a couple of Dom friends (who are also a couple) who are certified hypnotists. i talked to them about hypnotism just this weekend and they were both insistent that hypotism cannot make you do anything you don't want to do. Conversely, it can help you get past barriers you have about doing things you really want to do. This is pure speculation, but what i am reading is you did something you "have often fantasised about... doing," so it may have been that the hypnotism helped open a door/barrier between what you do want and wouldn't do for whatever reason. I.e., the hypnotism didn't make you do anything, just helped you get past objections you have to doing what you really wanted to?

i read on this site that a lot of bottoms feel this way, but i don't relate to it. For me it's not a question of "duty' or obligation. Which is not to suggest i think that dynamic doesn't exist, it clearly does. The more i consider myself and see how i am, it's more a matter of opposites attracting to me. i often look at it from a physics perspective of negative and positively charged ions attracting and bonding naturally. i do relish the mental and emotional aspects of the sexual relationship, it's what distinguishes people from ions lol. To me though, there is the underlying drive of Top being attracted to bottom, each needing the other. There cannot be one without the other. To me, the wonder of it is, that each finds their needs /desires met (to one degree or another) in the others needs/desires.

my brain is connected to my penis. i've wondered before if i have ED, but no, it works just fine and can get as hard as ever. What gets it that way can be complicated thougjh. It doesn't turn me on or get my penis hard if a guy is talking to me about it as a cock or if he wants it as such. i love the look of a mans ass, it makes me wild, but not because i wanna fuck it, i just love the way it looks. Even sometimes if i am touching, rimming or chewing on a mans ass and i think i might wanna fuck it, my penis says "no" and stays soft and small. Reading this got it engorged. Control the buttons in my mind, and you control whether or not my penis gets hard. i was naked with a Top recently who started right off by telling me: "since you're a total bottom, you don't really have a cock, it's really more of a clit. Since your primary sex organ is your hole, you really have a pussy and a clit." He was completely matter of fact about it. He wasn't being forceful or trying to be mean, He was talking almost casually. It was His manner as well as what He was saying that totally pushed my buttons, and my penis got hard. He smiled at me and said: "isn't that sweet? your body knows what I am saying is true, and your sweet little clit responded and got engorged with blood. It can be natural for a clit to get arroused by a Man who understands it." He turned me over and proceeded to rim me and as soon as He started, my penis went soft and small and didn't get engorged the whole time He fucked me.

As a bottom, i will often go a week without cumming, so when i do, i have a really big load. Am thinking it would be a good idea to save and preload with my own cum when in heat so Tops will have a cum filled hole to breed?

Right [rolls eyes] Just like watching straight porn where no condom is used leads to sex without condoms. The premise that having sex with or without a condom is a gay question strikes me as... flawed.

As i see it, the religion issue is not Islam, Christianity, Judaism, or any number of religions, but the approach people take to those religions. i grew up in a Christian religious culture that was fundamentalist in approach, and i've come to see fundamentalism as problematic in any religion. Frankly, i see it as a problem in any system of belief. i've met atheists who have fundamentalist attitudes. To me it all boils down to having an absolutist attitude about any 'ism,' and thus having the inability to say or act from a position of questioning. Talk to anyone with this attitude and ask them: "yes, i see what you believe, is there any possibility that you could be wrong?" If the response you get is "no," then you've likely got a fundamentalist on your hands. When people start equating their beliefs and conclusions with "God," they themselves run into a problem with questioning those beliefs because they equate that with questioning "God." There is a disconnect and they do not distinguish that their conclusion is their own vs some higher truth. If they did, they'd prolly hit the pause button before blowing their self up in a building full of infidels. The guys that flew airplanes into buildings were not just Islamic, they were fundamentalist Islam. Islam has been around since the 7th century. That makes it about 1300 years old. Check out the violence factor of Christianity in its earlier years. Heck, i can remember American Christian lawmakers that wanted to make being gay a crime... i would not put that past our current vice president. Judaism also has a violent history. Then there's fun stuff like this: Roeder told the jury he was born again in 1992 after watching an evangelical TV show, the 700 Club. "That day I knelt down and I did accept Christ as my saviour," he said. Under cross-examination, Roeder said he had begun thinking about killing Tiller [an abortion doctor] from as early as 1993. I know lots of people from all three religions that would never do the rotten, violent stuff like the Nazis did. I also know of people from all three who i wouldn't be surprised if they did, given the power. i think it's scary to have anyone like Trump in the White House or a position of power.

Yes, your doctor is giving you good input when he/she tells you your trend is "very worrying." You're way to young to have numbers like that. Not because age is a huge factor in cause of kidney disease, it's not. i have patients in their 90's who have normal kidney function. What's worrisome is the trend. If you dropped 13 points in a year or two, if that trend continues, you will be in kidney failure in 10-15 years. And that's assuming nothing changes to make matters worse. You are smart to consider co-factors like poppers, apparently, they can effect kidney function too. Dialysis happens after kidney failure and kidney failure is generally considered having a GFR <15. Standard dialysis treatment is three times a week and you spend four hours connected to a machine. It's not a perfect fix either, toxins build up in between, you have a very restricted diet. WS is out because you are not producing urine usually. There is acute and chronic kidney disease, so one shouldn't assume that their kidneys will automatically recover if the cause is stopped... it's a wait and see thing a lot of the time. Right now, you still have adequate kidney function, but you're smart to be paying attention and doing something about it. Kenneth is right about Descovy, your body may tolerate that better if and when it's approved as PreP. Good luck.

Total and ass obsessed