tallslenderguy

Most of us here know the stats on bottom vs top vulnerability when it comes to HIV (i.e., it's less risk to top). But it doesn't just take an open would externally for a top to get pozzed. I was still married when i first started hooking with guys and it seemed like I could get chlamydia by just looking at a guy lol. Seriously, it seemed every time i got a bj, i got it, so i stopped getting bj's and got fucked (such is the logic of a horny married and cheating gay guy). Now that I am single, i can relax and have sex any way i want to, but understand about my anatomy that i seem to get bugs urethrally (through my pee hole) pretty easily (it seems). I carry alcohol wipes with me now and always wipe there after getting sucked (which is still pretty rare). Getting infected via the urethra is one of the ways guys get pozzed. My guess would be some guys are more vulnerable than others in that area. Some have bigger openings, especially if one sounds. Any opening is where pathogens get in.

I think there's some great responses here. I grew up in a religious culture that didn't allow for my being gay, so I married a woman and was with her 31 years. I might still be together with her if she could have accepted my being gay. The point being, there is so much more to a relationship than sex. One of the best 'gifts' to me when it comes to being gay (i.e., different from the norm) is it forced me to question my status quo. As noted above, my status quo was completely restrictive. Questions like: Who makes the rules about how and why we should live? Who came up with the idea of monogamy/exclusivisity. I doubt one person can provide for all the needs and wants of another: emotionally, physically, mentally. There can be advantages to living with someone in a more intimate than just room mates setting. An open relationship is just a variation on a theme that is not black and white.

I think giveme makes a good point here. I'd say, "blindfold or hood." There are guys who want to fuck who wrestle with self consciousness also. I.e., it is not just your looks to consider, but theirs. Consider the appeal of the darkroom, a blind fold or hood sort of makes for a oneway darkroom. Some sex clubs also have private rooms with a sling, i.e., a single room with a door where the top can have privacy if he wishes, not all tops are exhibitionists. That in combination with a blindfold or hood gets you closer to being "just a hole to be filled." Really though, if guys were just looking for a hole to fill, they could use a flashback. I think most guys want a person to fuck, not just a hole, but as tops they prolly often want control of a person too? The leash/collar idea certainly enhances the message of submission, especially in tandem with the hood, blindfold, sling. Something else a hood takes out of the equation is looks. Not completely, but to a large degree. Especially when it comes to age.

i know i am being redundant, but the best for me is no barrier between me and the top. For me, getting bred is first about the attitude, the fact that the top has something of himself that he wants to put and leave inside of me. His cum, orgasm, joy, lust, pleasure are all left inside of me after he is gone. If he uses a condom, it's like taking all those things and putting them in a trash bag instead of inside of me.

just bought a pair of these "Brazilian Cut" (model not included)

I was in Vegas about a month ago and finally hooked with a Dom top guy I have been wanting to be with for a couple of years. We both live in Oregon, about 60 miles apart, and I figured he had lost interest, so I didn't want to stalk him, so I just let it go. Then then when I was in Vegas, he contacted me and asked me if I wanted his cock. I have no idea what he was doing in Vegas or whether he may live there and that's why we never hooked, but I gave him my hotel room number and left the door ajar for him. He's pretty muscled and I'm kinda tall and skinny. He was pretty rough with me, did a lot of face fucking, sort of pulling my hair to direct my mouth and head on his cock. I really wanted him to breed me, but he decided to ram his cock down my throat until I felt him shoot his sweet load at the back of my throat, which of course made me happy. After a few, he got up to leave and started to walk to his clothes and turned and told me to "get up and spread your pussy" (I was on the floor on all fours from face fucking him while he say in a chair. He was still semi erect and I was pretty excited at the prospect of getting bred, so I stood up and bent over the bed, reaching behind to spread my hole open for him. he pushed his semi erect cock balls deep into me and just held my hips, his big balls bouncing against my taint and just held me that way and announced: "you're not getting another load, but I will fill your pussy with piss" and I felt it streaming into my gut. He asked: "you like being a urinal, don't you?" and though kind of embarrassed, I answered "yes" because I really did love it. When he was done he pulled out and then gave my ass a couple of sharp spanks saying: "don't lose a drop of this if you want me happy, I don't give just any cunt my piss" and he shoved me face down onto the bed, dressed and left. I pushed a couple of pillows under my pelvis to elevate my ass so I could keep his piss in my gut and fell asleep. I woke up some time later having to piss myself and went into the bathroom, my pee had a really strong smell and I knew it was because I had absorbed a lot of what he gave me, it was so fucking hot. I put my finger over my hole just incase there was still some in my ass, i didn't want to lose it.

I'm not really loose, butt am definitely looser. My hole is permanently altered by the 100's of cocks that have bred it. My hole doesn't really have a round pucker to it anymore, it;s more of a slit. I had an online Dom guy who wanted me to used dildos to open my hole more, and I did what he asked and did get looser for awhile. But we both lost interest in just doing the online thing and I am too much of a bottom to even fuck myself with a dildo lol (I miss the Tops energy behind it), so I stopped and my hole went back to being a well used slit for cock. I find very few guys who prefer "tight" to well used, which seemed really weird to me for the longest time, but I've come to understand that Tops love seeing their handiwork as well as breeding. I can milk a cock, my muscles are all intact, it's just my hole is now custom made for cock.

Im a bottom, but I'm a guy and even if my testosterone is directed towards my ass instead of my cock, I still have the drive. I've had a few Tops push some tears out of me with their cocks, but never was willing to give up their cock. I might feel humiliated or awkward, but that is part of the power exchange between a bottom and a Top.

I've been poz about a year and a half now, was diagnosed when I went in for testing to get on PreP. I take Truvada and Tivicay. Just got my most recent viral load results and am undetectable. I'm in healthcare and am used to looking at patient blood labs all the time. Mine are gorgeous lol. Mostly I am looking for liver and kidney issues, but everything in my bloodwork is perfect, so I'm a pretty happy camper. The one side effect I seem to have is my dream life is different. It's not bad, just odd? And it may be unrelated, but it's the only thing I can come up with as a side effect.

I can't remember taking a cock in my ass that I didn't like... there were a few guys attached to them that I didn't prefer, but I can count them on one hand and it had nothing to do with cock size. Agree with others that the most frustrating thing is a "top" who cannot get hard. Especially if they have talked it up, but not actually gotten it up. I've been with a surprising number of guys who never got hard, but knew how to get in and fucked like experts. For me the only cock I don't like is the one that cannot get in my hole.

I like discussions like this. Heteronormative is the dominant culture, so it has pretty much defined what constitutes "masculine" and "feminine." I'm a faggot but not a sissy. To me being a faggot just means my fucking wiring (literally) is wired to my ass and not my penis. My testosterone is in tact and gets directed towards receiving vs inserting. I think I am different than a Dom or Top, but "masculine" and "feminine" are not the only two defaults?

That is fucking hot. This is so my kind of scenario. I'm the kind of sub bottom that loves when a top takes control and surprises me by doing something like pissing in my ass, so this would be even hotter. Just as you describe the loss of power, the humiliation... a whole different kind of orgasm caused by the Top. damn

I hope your post is real and I'm not wasting my time here, but the faggot nurse in me has to care lol. If you are young and good looking with 8" to spare, your desires may not be as out of reach as you think? Are you a member of FetLife? A ton of people on that site of all stripes. The thing about porn is it can set you up with some unrealistic expectations. Prolly a good idea to back off for awhile and go for real life experiences to give you a reality check. And I ditto getting on PreP. That may be a hot fantasy, but you are trying to decide a lot of different things all at once, I'd knock conversion fantasies off the list, at least for till you are more stable, because that's a permanent decision, you can't take it back if you change your mind about wanting it. Our core person usually wins in an argument with sound reason, so I'd give some allowance and pursue some of the less scaring decisions, that will give you an idea whether reality lines up with your ideas of what you feel you want.

I know what all you bottoms are saying lol to that title lol. Let me preface this by saying I know this is very speculative, so I'm putting it out there as such. I think there are a lot more guys out there who want/like/need to fuck guys (i.e, Top guys). They are wired toward breeding guys just as much as bottom guys are wired toward being bred. Of course, we all know Tops are out there, we just think they are the minority. But I think nature seeks balance, and I believe homo is a part of nature that is not going away (becoming extinct). I don't think evolution is getting rid of the gay thing. So, what about the balance of nature? Where are the tops to balance out the bottoms. I think they are married. I think they're in marriages because they are natural fuckers and conditioned by culture that marriage is where they get it. Plus, forever, it's been taboo to fuck guys. So they marry and sublimate their need to fuck guys, or they find a GH on the way home from work. They're out there, they are just not as free to operate as bottoms are. My hope is, the more liberated society becomes, the more natural tops will be free to choose what they really want and we'll see more balance between tops and bottoms. Ok, it's a work in progress lol.

Like hungry_hole, I haven't seen another site like BZ. I love this community and forum set up... it's a safe place for me. I've never hooked with anyone from this site. Not that I wouldn't, just that it's never happened. But I've met some awesome people here. For me, hook up sites are Bareback, Squirt, Manhunt, Adam4Adam, asspig, CL and grindr. I usually use them all when on the prowl for hook up. I have found that popularity is locational. Some sites are more active in some cities than others and vice versa. I get the most flakes from CL, but also get the most hookups from there.

Re milking. I have a Rosa Rouge that I use when I am working and cannot get out to get fucked. It's a prostate stimulater and I use it like a aeros, except if has lots of vibrating settings. One of the settings it intermittent pulsing. I use my internal hole muscles and the Rosa to hands free fuck myself. It's not what I want, I want a Top fuckng me, but it's good conditioning and it at least feels good. I the pulsing Rosa is kind of like a cock thrust and I pull it in with my muscles when it pulses and relax when it pauses (it's rapid). I can pull it in prolly at least an inch just by contracting my ass muscles, and I can do the same with a cock. Most tops seem to like that, but some do not while they are fucking, so maybe best to save it for them after they have cum. There is no standard fuck, of course, gotta take cues from your top. Bearing down to tighten the hole is something several have mentioned, but I find I have to be careful doing that because I have pushed a Tops cock right out of me doing that. Again, it really helps me to know ahead of time, before the Top even gets there, what my Top likes. A lotta Tops love sloppy hole. That is their turn on, so tightening and contracting may turn them off. I'm big on communication for making a Top cum, but communication before he ever gets to my house and inside my hole, not while we're fucking... then I just try and be sensitive an focused. It can be a challenge sometimes, not all guys are into communication and I have experienced some who assume you should just know what they like, trying to help them understand we're not mind readers can be a challenge, but I love Men and am up to it.

Been there, lots of older guys, you'll have plenty to do. I like it there. Clothes optional, busy all night.

Love this thread. I'm the kind of bottom who wants his only sex organ to be my hole. I want my cock, but want to lock it as a gift of submission to my top.

Wow, interesting. I have to admit I am surprised at the number of guys who chose the last answer (me too). But the answer wasn't perfect for me. The truth is, it is important to me if I ever cum at all, but cum in the general sense of the word (i.e., orgasm). "Cum" is a pretty universal term connoting orgasm, not necessarily just ejaculation. And as several here have noted, a bottom can cum 'hands free' as it were, from getting fucked. That's that category I fall into. In and ideal world, I get all my pleasure from the top and none of that comes from him touching my penis. In an ideal world. I know of some who have that, usually because they are married or in a relationship with a Dom top. I'm on my own, so my hole is a vacuum of sorts that sucks up anyone in its path. I see that as a sort of self medicating though. I suspect I would be less of a cum slut cock whore if I had someone in my life who exercised the Dominant psychological attributes with me that are only partly fulfilled by getting bred.

Heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, etc., likely have inmate causes wired into our individual circuitry, but they are also largely cultural constructs. Where does innate end and learned behave begin? I think (hope) culture is evolving and people are getting freer to express their sexual selves. I hypothesize that if nature tends towards homeostasis (balance) we're headed towards a time when there will be as many tops as bottoms (this could just be a fag fantasy lol), and that there are already plenty of tops out there, but they are socially constrained to express their sexuality in monogamous heterosexual marriage. I've been having an off forum discussion with one of the guys here about the term "faggot." It's a word I used to associate with derision, kind of like "queer." I am finding I like it though as a descriptor for exclusive bottom guys. Words like "bitch, cunt, pussy" are used by some, hated by some, others are neutral, others love the words. But those are all words coopted from women. No woman was ever called a "faggot" or "fag," it's a word exclusively reserved for guys of a certain type. So, to the original question "why do married/straight men hook up with fags?" I believe it's because we all don't naturally fit into the boxes that culture has made, that many conform who would not otherwise if they didn't feel constrained, and others 'cheat.' I wonder if all cultural distinctions like "heater, homo, bi" all disappeared tomorrow and the standard was to have sex wherever their was mutual consent that we'd discover hetero is not as big a 'norm' as has been promulgated.

big ditto to shagularpus, I don't want any of mine leaking out. Like others, when I can, I use some gravity to try and get it deeper. clenching usually does the trick for me too. I think I must have trained myself to hold on to where it just becomes second nature. I went to an ABS a while back and it turned out a guy stealth pissed in me. I figured out who later on because he kept going deep then pausing. I got loaded by two other guys after, took the 20 minute drive home and was doing something when the urge hit to release. I usually ignore it when I know it's cum and it usually passes, but this did not and a gush of piss came out of me. Had I known it was there, I would have been a little less active so I could keep it longer. If I've been fucked with the intent to gape my hole by someone who knows what he is doing, I may need to use a finger over the surface of the hole, just to ensure no leakage, butt otherwise, it's staying where it belongs, even if I have to do a head stand.

"Meanwhile the Indonesian Constitutional Court is currently hearing a petition by a conservative group to recommend changing the country's criminal code to make homosexual sex illegal. "LGBT rights is going hand in hand with women's rights, it is going hand in hand with religious freedoms for minorities, they are all in slow decline in Indonesia," Harsono said. "At the same time, sadly, we are seeing the rise of Islamic fundamentalism ... in Indonesia""." That is a quote from the report. It wasn't that long ago that 'Christian' fundamentalism was trying to pass similar laws in the US. I was arrested in Virginia in 1998 for asking an undercover officer if he wanted to fuck me. A common practice of law enforcement was to assign undercover vice officers in cruising areas and they would pretend to be gay in hopes of entrapping a guy looking for sex. I was charged with a felony and they were using a 100 year old law. It took a year to come to trial, hired a very expensive lawyer. The day of the trial, the arresting officer found me in a lobby and actually apologized for arresting me. The attorney general in VA at that time was a right wing evangelical and had told the attorneys under his control to prosecute to the full extent of the law, so they were out for blood. The judge essentially laughed at the prosecuting attorney and asked my lawyer "what do you want to do?" Unfortunately, my lawyer was kind of past his prime and he replied: " i dunno judge, what do you suggest?" The judge said: "how about we reduce to indecent exposure" (a misdemeanor). I was so scared and relieved at not having a felony, that I went for it. This was before I was out. If that had happened only a few years later, I would have gone to the press. Anyway, there was absolutely no "exposure," the arresting officer and I had a conversation, both with our clothes on. I have a permanent record of indecent exposure that I never committed. I have to explain this whole story anytime I apply for a new job (I'm a critical care nurse and employers do background checks before hiring). I had to explain to the licensing board. Everyone is cool and I have never encountered a problem with it, but it is still stupid to have to tell every one the story. Fundamentalism of any sort is pure insanity and poison. It's the stuff of naziism. Fundamentalists actually believe they know "the will of God" and often consider it their mission to get others to conform to it. Of course, it is only their opinions that they are equating with "God," but fundamentalism is evil and dangerous. Anyone who thinks it cannot happen in this country needs to listen to the speeches of our current vice president.

Something I do is always try to get a sense of the top before we even hook. I am one of those guys who asks questions ahead of time when texting back and forth. I have learned to be careful with that, because a lot of flakes to that too. But for me, knowing what you like ahead of time means that when we hook it can be about the actual sex, we don't have to figure it out or discuss while in the process of fucking. If I have an ad or profile, I state clearly that I am a total bottom and sometimes state that I don't want my cock touched. This way guys who are more versatile and may be in the mood for cock and fuck don't even come on to me because I was clear. On the other hand, guys who just wanna fuck don't have to worry about that now, they know. I ask if they have fantasies or fetishes, then if I can, I try to accommodate. If they like porn, I have it playing. If they want lacey panties or boxers or jock, I have all those. I almost always host and my set up is really easy. I give very clear, step by step instructions on how to find me and get into my house. If a guys already nervous about walking into a strange house, or he cannot find the address because it's so dark out, that's going to detract from his lust. I try to enhance all those things by setting up the environment to make easy access and accommodate fetishes, desires, fantasies.

Thanks for your input (so to speak), on both your posts. On behalf of all bottoms, I apologize for any who would be so inconsiderate as to try and interact with someone else while getting fucked. That's totally insane to me, I cannot imagine doing something so stupid. I do want a tops cum, but equally important to me is I want his pleasure. Really, his cum to me is the token of his pleasure. It tells me he enjoyed the fuck, the experience of being with and inside me and that is what I crave more than anything, that experience where we connect at that level of intense desire for each other. This is why a fuck machine would never do it for me, it lacks the human components of desire, need for connection. I do not want a mechanical fuck, and I don't want to be a flesh jacket. I want to be a warm human being who receives another warm human being inside of me.

Yes, this is so well put Kptinline, thank you for sharing some of your experiences. When I look back on my marriage to a woman I realize that I was still sub, but from a top position, which was a weird dynamic, but it's like I found a way of coping for me while living in a prison of sorts.