Spunkinmyarse

I’m fairly new to it, but going again tomorrow (Thursday), so will let you know!

I think it is turning into a summer to remember up there after all. Went last night (first time on a Saturday), and there must have been 200+ guys there. It’s just like a cruise club, only outdoors. Guys milling around, sitting on logs, chatting, smoking, drinking (as well as fucking, of course). Some are naked, others in jocks or harnesses, some in leather. Lots of different areas to explore, some public, some hidden: you really can see where the mazes you find in saunas and sex clubs came from! All very quiet, though: it’s like the volume has been turned down. No music, of course, just a quiet hum of guys chatting and fucking. Maybe it’s always been like that- I’m pretty new to this. But I’m glad I’ve finally discovered it: it’s great, and now I know what all the fuss is about!

I thought it might be... I think I’m going to go this Saturday lol.

Wow! That’s some cruising area! Are you going to share its location with us, or keep it a secret?

Is it your fear of passing an STD on to someone else (eg: partner), or are you just worried about your own health? If it’s the former, then I understand your hesitation- but if it’s the latter, then I reckon you should satisfy that ‘burning desire’ and go for it! IF you catch something (and I stress the ‘if’), then just get it sorted 😉

Sure- lets just hope it does!

Has anyone been up there lately? I went yesterday evening- trouble is, it’s so late to get dark these days that there are families and dog walkers still using the area round the fuck tree till 9:30pm. And even wandering through the bushes nearby- had to abandon one encounter mid-flow because one straight couple thought it would be fun to go exploring. Still, I had a couple of good hook-ups and took a hard pounding bent over the fuck tree at about 10:00pm. But I have to say, it wasn’t that busy- mostly just a bunch of guys standing around and socially distancing themselves in the dark. I was just wondering how this compares to anyone else’s recent experiences up there.

Yeah- sometimes there are just too many voyeurs. As soon as any action starts up, they swarm round and start wanking, and block anyone who actually wants to join in the fun. If you walk into the main lounge area and there’s something’s going on in a corner, you’re often just confronted by a sea of backs, all turned away, craning their necks to see if they can catch a glimpse of the two guys fucking. It makes me laugh, really- it wouldn’t matter if you were the hottest guy on earth offering to have sex with each and everyone of them, you could still walk by unseen, as long as someone else is getting it on at the far end of the room. The more I hear about the Fort and the Playpit, the more I wish I’d gone there! Does anyone have any suggestions about why it’s not possible to recreate that kind of scene today (virus permitting, of course)?

All the character traits and behavioral flaws you mention, ErosWired, are generally ones we think of as being stereotypically MALE. For good or bad, I like male things: that’s what gets me going, that’s what floats my boat sexually. For a cumdump like me, masculinity is hot, no matter how it’s expressed. Now, you could certainly argue that there is nothing innately male in any of these behaviours, and it’s just our culture that has designated them as such. Maybe so, but I am also a product of that culture, so I have equally been brainwashed into considering them male, and thereby ‘hot’.

Hello mate- yeah, I’m in 😉

We are indeed at an interesting crossroads in this crisis, and it seems to me that gay men (in line with much of the rest of society) are starting to fall into two camps. One camp seems to think that the strictest lockdown possible should remain in place until either the virus is completely suppressed or a vaccine comes along. The other camp seems to think it’s time to start getting back to our old lives regardless. Followers of this thread are most likely to be more cautious and fall into the first camp. Less cautious members of BZ are probably not following this thread, and are more active elsewhere on the site. Personally, I think it’s too late to suppress the virus, at least in Western Europe and the USA. Even countries that have done well on that front so far are in all likelihood going to have to deal with future waves and further control measures, unless they want to isolate themselves completely from the rest of the world. And I’m not confident that a meaningful vaccine is going to become available any time soon. Which means we are all going to have to live with this disease and accept its presence in our communities, and just try to keep it to manageable levels. Does this mean I won’t risk having sex ever again? Of course not. It’s all about individuals finding a level of risk that is acceptable to them. And before anyone jumps down my throat about this being different because the risk can be passed on to others, the same can be said every time you get behind the wheel of a car and drive it along the highway. Just because this is a new risk does not mean that we don’t already make similar judgments in our everyday lives. I’m not necessarily saying that now is the right time, but at some point we are all going to have to come out from under the duvet and face life again, with all its inherent risks. I shall probably be ready to do this sooner rather than later: one thing my partner’s recent death from cancer taught me is that it’s later than you think and life is for living.

I don’t like dogs, so it’s a big ‘Ugh’ from me when one shows up unexpectedly in shot. The hair, the smell, the doggy breath, the drool- yuck, it turns my stomach and is an instant boner-killer. But cats! I luuurve them! It’s so cute when one wanders by while two guys are hard at it, totally unflustered (the cat, that is). Sometimes they‘ll jump up onto a table or start cleaning themselves: they always get my full attention, and I totally lose interest in what the guys are doing. In fact, I think I might start a thread exclusively for clips of kitties in gay porn... No down-votes from dog lovers, please- we’re all wired differently: respect the difference 😉

Well, as RawUK pointed out, why not try Gran Canaria in the winter, IF the bars and clubs have re-opened by then? I went in February for the first time and loved it. It’s about the only place in Europe you can guarantee sun, and has (or at least, had) one of the best gay scenes in the world. @RawUK- I’ll come with you next Feb 😉

I must admit, if I were in your shoes and could cancel with a full refund, I think I probably would. Even though Germany has been less hard hit than other countries in Europe, I think it is still highly likely that social distancing rules will still be in place in September, even if clubs/bars are allowed to re-open. And then you also need to consider how busy it will be anyway, with perhaps lots of people avoiding large scale events. On the other hand, I could be completely wrong, and by September Berlin might be celebrating the demise of COVID-19 with a non-stop full orgy the likes of which has never been seen before. When do you have to decide by?

As gay men, I feel it is only natural that some of us have an aversion to the naked female form, in particular the genitals, etc. If like me, you’ve never had sex with a women, this is very unfamiliar territory, and being exposed to it can bring on an instantaneous gut reaction and a feeling of revulsion. I think this is largely because it looks so different from our own bodies, and our brains’ knee-jerk reaction to this is “Look out, there’s something wrong here!”. Disgust is too strong a word for it, and there is no way I think anyone should be ‘offended’ by it: in fact, when I get this feeling, I always tell myself that I’m the one with the problem here, and I need to get over it: after all, women are humans, too. As for threatened... why would I feel threatened? Unless, as others have pointed out, my gay ‘space’ was being inundated to the point of oblivion with straight porn. But it does make me laugh when straight men pretend to be disgusted/revolted/offended by the sight of cocks or naked men in general. How can they be? They’ve each a cock, and I bet they’ve spent years of their lives playing with it. They’re familiar with the look of their own naked bodies in the mirror, and they’ve probably grown accustomed to seeing other naked men in locker rooms, etc. But it’s that classic sophomoric trope of teenage movies or series like American Pie or The Inbetweeners, where one of the guys feigns complete horror at the idea of seeing another guy’s cock. I presume it’s to send the message to the world: “Look at me, I’m so straight that the mere thought of another man’s penis makes me want to vomit!”

IWantPrEPNow doesn’t supply PrEP directly: it’s simply a website which (among other things) lists online suppliers of PrEP. Not all suppliers require a prescription, which is good if you’re having difficulty getting to an STI clinic at the moment. Prices and delivery times vary by supplier: mine usually takes about a week to get here. I’m not on the impact trial, but as far as I’m aware, the trial ends sometime this year, anyway. In fact, I got a strange text message from Dean Street this week about the impact trial, saying “No more drugs from mid-July. Meds by post for a limited time only”. I think the original plan was to co-ordinate the end of the impact trial with the introduction of free PrEP for everyone on the NHS starting in October, but like so much else, this plan has probably been severely impacted by the COVID crisis. Anyway, you could always call the Dean Street clinic (if you can get through) to find out what’s going on- they’re usually an excellent source of information. They also (in normal times) sell PrEP at a very reasonable price to those not on the trial: in fact, that’s where I bought my latest supply. They would probably insist you have a test first, but by post: you’d have to order a ‘test-at-home’ kit, and do it that way. Anyway, best if luck, and get back on PrEP ASAP!

I don’t know the club in question or Toronto very well, but to be honest, although COVID-19 might be the final straw, it sounds to me much more likely that it’s fallen victim of the kind of urban ‘gentrification’ we’ve become VERY familiar with here in London. It’s interesting, though: one could speculate that one unexpected side effect of this pandemic will be that this trend of ever-increasing rents and property prices could go into reverse in some of our larger cities, particularly where commercial property is concerned. With so many people finding they can work from home, will we need so much office space? And all those empty retail units, now that even more people are shopping online. And add to that the empty bars, clubs and restaurants that won’t reopen. Will people even want to live in cities if you strip away their main attractions: the concerts, the theatres, the bars, the restaurants? Over the last few weeks, our largest cities have felt more like giant prisons than attractive places to live. Maybe life in the suburbs/country is about to make a comeback, and with that, there will be plenty of derelict places in the city centres which gays will be able to colonize once more. It’ll be like the 1970’s all over again!

Given how many young guys seem to be into the ‘daddy’ thing, I’m sure there’s scope for a reverse set-up: Breeders aged 20-30, and a bottom aged 40+

Makes no difference at all as far as I’m concerned, particularly from the point of view of getting fucked. I live in Europe- uncut is the norm. But I lived in the US for a time and my partner was American and cut, so I’m used to both.

Yes, I too share this concern. I fear saunas and cruise bars/sex clubs will be unfairly treated as we slowly come out of lockdown. Why unfairly? Because as far as COVID-19 is concerned, I don’t see them as any greater risk to public health than busy bars or crowded nightclubs. Yet you can almost guarantee these businesses will be allowed to get back to normal sooner. Yet again, sex will be demonized, and gay sex in particular. Even on this site, there seems to be a growing attitude that the problem here is sex and fucking, rather than just close human contact. We have to remember that this disease didn’t start in the bathhouses or cruise clubs dotted round the world- in fact, it seems to have been spread far more effectively at venues serving religious services, weddings and funerals, etc. Sometimes I wonder if a certain amount of guilt and self-loathing has crept into the way some of us here are talking about sex at the moment. We should take a step back, and remember this is not the same disease that devastated our community 40 years ago. Sex is not the problem.

Yep, I’ve noticed exactly the same. Not sure exactly what’s going on there- maybe everybody got fed up because no-one was actually meeting. Another thing I’ve noticed is that there’s a lot of guys on Grindr using the ‘explorer’ function. Which is nice in one way, but annoying in another. You get all excited coz someone hot you haven’t seen before hits you up, but then you realize he’s in Paris or Amsterdam, and that you have no chance in hell of ever meeting, lockdown or no lockdown.

The same problems will be faced by other establishments where close physical contact is the norm, whether sexual or not. Ordinary night clubs, for example, where it’s usual to have a lot of people rammed together on the dance floor- I should imagine your chances of picking up COVID in that kind of environment are every bit as high as catching it in a bathhouse, if not higher. I suppose busy clubs and bars could try to impose social distancing rules in order to re-open sooner, but that’s not very practical, and under such circumstances I think most punters would stay away anyway. In London, you need a ‘sex on premises’ license to operate a bathhouse, or a sex/cruise club or bar. I wouldn’t be surprised if these licenses were suspended for a VERY long time.

When I first started this thread, it was before the lockdown measures came into effect. I agree. Visiting the Heath at this time would be a foolish thing to do, and is bound to get complaints from local residents, etc. It would be just the excuse the police need to shut it down for good: it’s entire existence as a cruising ground has always been precarious, and at this time we as a community need to be particularly sensitive to other users of the Heath and the general public at large. I still hope that we may be able to enjoy its delights again at some point later this summer, but who knows? For now, however, let’s just act responsibly and avoid the Heath, so that we’ll still be welcome to use it again when all this is over.

Yeah, I often wear a bicep band on my right arm, but then I get bottoms hitting me up thinking that right = top! It‘s not well understood, especially by the younger generation... sometimes I think I should just bite the bullet and get the words ‘Fuck Me’ tattooed on my arse instead, just so there’s no misunderstanding.

I’m not sure the hanky code was every used to as full an extent as that in the real world, for the very reason that it became over-complicated. And what if you are into several of the fetishes listed at once, or versatile? Or at a naked event? However, I do think a more widely recognized code that simply designates top, bottom or versatile would be extremely helpful in a cruise bar/sex club environment- it would save so much time and so many awkward encounters!