versmetropig

Oddly, I wrote this about an actual event, but I didn't publish it here. (I have it on Jack4Jack & NKP & Get2thepoint...) I'm flattered that you like my real-life experiences, but I'd rather you'd said it was mine, or asked... since it is not fiction, it would have to be in another section

NO. Not in the least. And it annoys me when I come across guys who think so... and I'm talking other gay men here. Bad enough for the straight folks who don't know better, but really, among ourselves? Given my 'druthers I'd be 60/40 top to bottom, but reality skews me more toward being 90%top 10%bottom... but being on both the giving and receiving end, being a bottom - or bottoming - does not make one "less of a man" in fact sometimes I think it actually takes MORE guts (particularly when faced with a really large "weapon" on your partner). We are men who have sex with MEN... never could understand why a top would then want to make his bottom less manly - that's a power trip and a psychological issue, not sexual play. Sure I can do the B&D scene as a top with the best of them... but that's a SCENE and its play, and I want the guy to be as goddamn masculine as I can possibly get. Someone mentioned "internal homophobia" - you know what? That's possible. As someone who likes to play with men of all races and nationalities, I have noticed that men from cultures particularly known as "macho" type cultures, especially those who are first generation here in the USA or visiting, have more distinct lines on what's okay and what's not - and being a top means you are still a man, while being a bottom is perceived as, well, not. I've made it my goal to help as many men as possible realize they can be masculine and enjoy getting fucked... well, SOMEBODY has to do it, right?

What an unexpected discussion. It would never occur to me to NOT touch the guy I'm fucking's cock - I started getting into group scenes and kink and pig play all the way back when I was 19 and I'm going to be 50 later this year... in all that time, playing scenes most weekends since, not to mention quite a few midweek hookups when I was younger, never has anyone asked me not to, not once that I can recall. And while I play the dominating top well my bottoms pleasure IS part of my pleasure. If he's not over-the-moon from my fuck, then I cannot have a good time. Don't understand how one could want to disconnect the two. I have sex for fun and enjoyment, I always assume that my partner(s) feel the same. When I'm bottoming - something that happens not too often because most of my buds want me to top, and frankly if forced to choose I would choose top - when I'm bottoming if the guy fucking me doesn't touch my dick or my nips or something but is only in his head... hasta la vista... not my thing, I'm outta there. Or should I say "he's outta there" That being the way I've always looked at things it's fascinating to read the posts of guys who don't want their dicks touched or wouldn't touch their bottoms dick. Way too many rules and agendas for me, but if it is what turns guys on and no one's getting hurt, then who am I to say "yay" or "nay"? I'm just still trying to wrap my brain about WHY either top or bottom would choose that. Yeah, I'm a Top/Versatile, but I like cock - I'm attracted to men, not women and the cock is one of the pretty big distinguishers between the two, odd in my mind that you'd want to ignore it. But again, it takes all kinds and if no one's getting hurt, keep on keepin' on I suppose. At my age, having played this scene so long sometimes I think "I've heard it all", this was totally a new concept to me, so thanks guys for the update and the lesson...

He was a complex guy. I only knew him in the 90's - I played with him on a number of occasions when he was in NYC - the photographer for whom I used to pose for coffee table books and gay mags was a very close friend of Scott's and that's how I got to know him. I wound up writing a number of articles for his personal publication "STEAM" back in the mid-90s (I still have my copies). He could be kind and sweet, and he could be cold and dismissive - he was, like all of us, human. He had flaws and virtues but the nice guy was the one who was most frequently around and the numerous small group sex sessions I had with him were frankly a blast. He did feel his HIV was a gift, and did not look forward to his death with regret - and apparently kept that attitude until the end, though I did not see him in his last 18 months. He supported some causes I personally find questionable but also fought passionately for LGBT rights. And though I've been POZ since '85 at least, I do not embrace death the way he did, and I have never been able to wrap my mind around that mindset, I simply can only acknowledge that it exists... saint? sinner? How about a realistic combination of both. He was a shrewd observer of human foibles; an intelligent conversationalist on social and political matters and a fun sex partner. I look back on him fondly if bemusedly.

Excellent - very very hot story.

Have been in a sexually open relationship for 22 years - we got legally married in NY on our 22 anniversary a month ago. We are completely emotionally monogamous, best friends, still lovers, and continue to find each other endlessly fascinating, smart, and amazingly comfortable... and we love each other very much. That being said, we both had our first partners die on us in our twenties and find that you don't sweat the little stuff after that. On our second date, we realized that in order for the average two men to stay together for a long long time, sexual variety would wind up being an issue unless it was no big deal. Which it is not for either of us - we play with others seperately and together (these days mostly seperately for me as my husband has nasty arthritis). We don't take time away from each other - extracurricular is done when the other is working, and the stories are shared and enjoyed together. We're not jealous, which is probably the most important thing - we never "date" someone else or stay out the entire night, and that's it rules wise. I've always been kinkier than my other half and he is more than happy to have me play with others for the heaver stuff!

YES. I have been in a seriomixed relationship for TWENTY TWO years - in fact, we're getting married on our 22nd Anniversary this weekend, now that it's legal here in NY. He has for our 22 years been neg, and I have been poz the whole time (26 years in fact) I'm undetectable and have been on the same med cocktail for 12 years. It can work out, obviously, and work out well - just be aware what you are doing and communicate. He is a total top, and I mostly top - and from our second date we've had an open sexual relationship. He knew my status, and knew my libido was more active than his, and he also knew that my tastes in men were broader and my range of sexual activities far wider than his. We've enjoyed three-ways together, group sex and sex parties together and have each played alone many times when the other is not available (he works nights - including Fri & Sats, I work days...). We never play apart when the other is available. Since he works almost every Friday & Saturday, he's actually happy I'm not sitting home bored, knowing I'm not seeking any other emotional relationships. He knows I BB with other poz guys, and oddly he does envy me that a bit. However, his choice is to stay safe, though he has topped me without a condom a good number of times. He's also a voyeur type (not my thing) and I an exhibitionist, so even when we go to sex parties together, he usually shoots in 15-20 minutes then watches while I play for another couple of hours (and he maybe reloads). It has worked for us, but you neither partner can have a jealousy issue and again you both must know and respect the needs and desires of the other!

Hey Danny - I found out at 23 - except that my diagnosis was 26 years ago. Talk about scared? Back then the nurse was sure she was giving me a death sentence. But I'm still here, and I have had, and continue to have a pretty wonderful life, despite (or in the case of my sexual play life, because of) that diagnosis 26 years ago. I split my time between two careers, one more interesting and fulfilling, the other more financially rewarding. I have a partner for 22 years (and he's neg, so that myth - "seriodivergent couples can't work out" is dispelled) and we have an awesome relationship, best friends, partners, soon to be married - on the actual date of our 22nd anniversary - and we've been sexually open since the 2nd date. We enjoy our sex life together, and we're cool if the other plays on "off times" which is great since I like "scene" stuff and he does not. There's been very little downside (other than the sheer terror at the beginning - my first partner and dozens of friends did NOT make it past 1987, but once the cocktail was formulated, those losses all but disappeared. I didn't even have to start meds until 1998, and I am consistently undetectable. My downsides are these: 1. I take 3 pills in the morning, 3 in the evening. Hell, I take more VITAMINS than that... 2. My health insurance is damn high. 3. My partner and I use a condom for fucking but for nothing else. I know I'm lucky because I got through that time period to today where this is a manageable condition, but for someone now? Sure, its annoying at times, and you should always be aware of your health, but terror is no longer necessary. And there are certainly UPSIDES to it. When I play outside, it's always with other poz at bb get togethers, and I have an awesome time. Be at peace, watch your health, and enjoy the silver lining!

Awesome - sounds like you guys had a blast - love to hear it...

Yep, my oldest of two older brothers was - he used to take me to Studio 54 when I was a teenager, and then he'd go off to the straight sex club "Plato's Retreat" with or without his girlfriend (who got him to go to Studio 54 in the first place...) and I would go off to the gay sex clubs, the baths, or the mineshaft or spike or the anvil (which at 18 was pretty advanced, I guess, but that's the kind of sex I liked). My brother was cool with my having all sorts of gay sex in THOSE kinds of clubs, because he didn't care if I had sex with muscular (read - masculine) leather guys... it just meant I was playing the field the way he was, but in a slightly different flavor. Had I been like some of my other friends who were in theater full-time, and been a bit more flamboyant or had hung out at drag bars, he would have been okay with my lifestyle, but certainly would not have brought me to those places... his little prejudice - and to be fair, he's always been very cool to my more effeminate friends, but I think he was secretly pleased that if I liked guys, at least I liked that kind... not his fault really, he's a cop, and so was my other bro... Now my brother is married, and though he played around a bit on the side for a while, it got too obvious once, and really hurt my sister-in-law (people saw him out with a young lady, and made a big deal in their group of friends and everything - my sis-in-law, an awesome person, and very understanding -was just humiliated and since then, his playing has been almost non-existent) He wishes he could still play around and be married like my partner and I do, but that's way tougher in the straight world.

Looked again at this thread, and looked really close at your definitions: By "SLUT" I mean someone who's averaging at least 5 loads a week from lots of different guys including a lot of complete strangers[/b]. By "SUCCESSUL RELATIONSHIP" I mean a relationship I mean a solid, meaningful relationship that lasts for at least 2 years where the boyfriends live together and rely on each other. I sorta get the sense that people think that sluts can't have successful relationships and still be sluts. I don't see why it can't work. If I were single I'd probably look for a slut for my next relationship. I'd love someone who came home with a cummy ass or someone who'd disappear at a bar and I'd find bent over taking dick when I went looking for him. Honestly, it would be a blast to pimp out a boyfriend... But I'm guessing a lot of gay guys just want to settle down and be "normal" (by heterosexual norms). They might be OK with a somewhat open relationship, but the idea that you're boyfriend's life is ... dedicated to ... taking loads from other guys might not work for some tops. And ... bottoms might not like sharing ... with other bottoms. I'm guessing so many sluts are single 'cause it's just hard to find compatible boyfriends. OR, there's the possibility of a partners-in-crime relationship where both guys are sluts - either they're versatile or they're both (vers) bottoms. In a relationship like that their recreational activity would be hunting for cock and loads. They could advertise on hookup sites together, etc. I've seen a few couples like this online, but they're pretty rare and I don't know how long the relationship lasts... So what's your experience? Have you ever been in a long-term relationship where one or both guys were sluts? How did it work out? So end of last year, around when I joined up, I replied: So re-examining your definitions, I'm noticing that only if you "take loads" you are a slut... so even though I almost always play with one group on any weekend - and generally top 6 to 7 guys any given weekend (with the occasional 1 or 2 during the week - maybe once every three weeks or so) I guess I don't fit this definition - and since we moved out of Manhattan to a VERY gay friendly suburb but very much a "gay family" town, lots of couples with kids, respectable pseudo-straight types, my partner has basically been limited to some married guy - straight or gay married - wanting to suck dick in the Y steam room (yep, that actually happens a lot, especially with my other half's big cock) he's down to only a few here and there, so his slut status is no longer an issue... but mine? Because I mostly top, do I rate a slut status or not? And to be fair, at 48, most of the guys I play with on weekends are long-term fuck buddies (one has been for 18 years!) and so of the 6 to 7 a weekend, I really only get to play with maybe 2 to 3 "newbies" any given weekend... unless I'm away doing a show, or my partner is - then we each get to "Slut-Out" like we used to - especially which ever one of us is on the road in a new city. So maybe I'm not the slut I thought I might be, though I think I still have a damn fun and active sex life, both in and out of my relationship and it does not affect that relationship negatively at all - any effects have been pretty damn positive. For instance, when we lived in NYC for many years, we were the center of a large group of friends who met every Sunday for Brunch (sounds SO GAY, I know, but actually, most of the crowd was straight...) Only my oldest friend, a straight guy who's best man I was at his wedding knew that ALL of the gay guys in the group except one- about 9 or so in total - were fuckbuddies of my partner and me first before we intro'd them to the group. Many of these guys are still very good friends, and one or two are still randy enough to play around... In fact, my straight buddy (whose wingmen we each were on many a night when we both were single, at the bars on the Upper West Side - whichever bar had the free pool table, straight or gay was where we would play) mentioned at his wedding that although he had invited 5 ex-es and another old bud had 6 ex-es to deal with, though I only had 3 ex-es there (one female) I had actually had sex with over 20 of the guests prior to the wedding, just not "dated" them and my partner had had sex with 14... That friend now occasionally jokes that he should have given me a try when we were both in our late teens, which on the nights he was stoned he thought might be cool because of the no strings thing... but now, just can't because his wife would just NOT understand... and now that he thinks about it, giving me a little head or at least jerking me off, when he'd have gotten a blowjob from me, would have been worth it considering all the nights he used his hand and didn't really need to... he wants to know if now that we are finally getting legally married (yeah, NY) if we're going to pull back on the "extra-curriculars". I said, "why, straight people fool around on their spouses all the time, I am NOT doing it behind his back, but in front of, and with his permission... since we have a slightly "new" definition of marriage - person to person, rather than man to woman - why not redefine the whole thing a bit, if you could convince your wife that you would only stray sexually and not emotionally, wouldn't she actually be a bit relieved - since you are still so horny? (and I take it she is not as much as she used to be...). Though I doubt straight marriages would ever evolve to quite the point of the number of partners my other half (soon to be "husband"... that's a bit weird, as I will also be "husband", but really we'll live with it!) have played with due to there being no pregnancy scares and the male libido - two of them - always seeking a bit of different "stuff", even so, MAYBE we can actually help our straight friends lighten up a bit and get freer them selves...

Nice. Totally took me back to the five summers I spent working in Provincetown, MA - and to the early '80s when I was in college here in NYC Studio 54 was just coming down from top of the scene and the Limelight, Paradise Garage and other amazing dance clubs were still around, though I was usually the one doing the fucking, I got it once or twice too and it was awesome - oddly, I actually WASN'T doing any chems back then, though everyone thought I was, I was just that much of a pig! Now, well, a bit of enhancement is always welcome...

I was always horny constantly - while there's been a slight change now that I'm 48, my partner says that even that change still leaves me with a much higher libido than the average gay man...

When I was in college in NYC from 1980 to 1984, I belonged to a group of gay, bi and "curious" guys who formed a fantasy group. All the members had to be cool with any new members who came into it. You'd post your fantasy on the group's bulletin board (it was four of the guys quad room) and whoever wanted to fulfill your fantasy with you would take it off the board (there would be several copies of the same post if it required more than one guy) and you and the guy with the fantasy would arrange a time to play it out. One of the hottest was a guy who had a rape fantasy that we did in Central Park - in the Rambles - late at night. He was in those "onion skins" running shorts they had back then, and a tank, and me and another guy played muggers who wrestled him to the ground, pulled him into the bushes and fucked him from both ends, knocking him around some and dumping a couple of loads... he LOVED it. I would not wanted to have taken it too much further, as he did sport some bruises and cuts from it, but he was happy. In case you are wondering, we all carried copies of a note we all signed stating we were all friends and were doing this for fun - just in case a cop showed, we might have been picked up for public lewdness or something, but at least it wouldn't be construed as an actual attack! Boy, were we stupid, but boy was it fun!

I love double fucking a willing bottom, and do it fairly frequently - and yes, I HAVE cum while DPing several times. There's one big caveat - if either the bottom or the other top are a bit too tweaked it is not going to work (they'll keep shifting around annoyingly before the 'mechanics' of it can be set up properly). Rule of thumb, if it doesn't work in two tries, you are wasting your time, go on to other activities!

Joe Girardi, manager of the NY Yankees - he's so freakin' hot and looks like a POZ leather dude anyway. I wouldn't mind adding Matsui, Damon, Jeter or a few other players in the mix, but Girardi does it for me big time. Lenny Kazlebrug the Olympic Swimmer would be one I'd love to corrupt. Movie stars Daniel Craig, Ed Harris and Viggo Mortensen (and Viggo is do-able, I have that on excellent authority...)

I tried to get my oldest brother to play around when we were younger - he's a straight sex version of me. He used to get me into Studio 54 when I was 16 (1978-ish) and he would go to straight sex clubs like Plato's Retreat when I was going to The Saint or The Anvil (yeah, I went to them when I was that young...). Now he's totally jealous that my partner has no issue with me fooling around with someone else, while his wife certainly has issue if he tries! A number of my friends totally get it as my bro, even though in his early fifties now, is still in great shape and to boot a sergeant of police who looks awesome in uniform... I've always found incest stories hot, though my bro is the only one in my family I'd actually want to do - love Dad-Son stories, but not with my own Dad (loved the guy, but he didn't make me hot). I have played with a real father and son together, and that was hot.

My partner and I have been together for 21 years - and we are not still together just because it's comfortable or it would be too difficult to divide community property or that sort of bull - we are still together because we both actively wish to be. He is a total top, and I mostly top - and from our second date we've had an open sexual relationship. He knew my libido was more active than his, and he also knew that my tastes in men were broader and my range of sexual activities far wider than his. We've enjoyed three-ways together, group sex and sex parties together and have each played alone many times when the other is not available (he works nights - including Fri & Sats, I work days...). We never play apart when the other is available and don't take away from our time with each other. Since he has almost always been busy working Friday and Saturday nights since we got together, I have played either one or both nights on a weekend most weekends for these past 21 years. He's actually happy I'm not sitting home bored, and knows that I'm not seeking any other emotional relationships. He's also a voyeur type (not my thing) and I an exhibitionist, so even when we go to sex parties together, he usually shoots in 15-20 minutes then watches while I play for another couple of hours (and he maybe reloads). It has worked for us, but you neither partner can have a jealousy issue!

I'm totally into it, either as the top (which I am more often) or the bottom, so long as the bottom is clean - cum, lube and piss are okay, but scat's just not my thing, and tends to ruin the mood for me... rimming has always been a fave of mine since I first rimmed a guy when I was a teenager and shot without touching myself. And sucking a cock that's just shot in a hole is totally hot for me - whether the hole was mine, or someone else's. Also love sliding my cock into an already primed with cum hole.

As a teenager when I started having sex (at 14 in 1977) I never wore condoms with guys and only did with a girl if she wasn't on the pill (Catholic School you know - can't get knocked up and have to deal with the getting married keep the baby thing). I had a good 6 or 7 years before the nasty latex sleeve went on, and as I was already well into the kink and leather scene by the time I was 20, but I dutifully put a sock on it for years - though I was about 65% top 35% bottom at that time, I almost gave up bottoming completely as I had severe reactions to the latex. I found out I was poz as soon as they had a reliable test - since at least 1985, possibly longer as I'm a New Yorker and this was one of the original areas of infection. Started barebacking again with a few poz buds around 1996, assuming that we already had it and couldn't bother anyone else. Finally got reminded that I enjoy bottoming once there's no latex, and started getting fucked again. Adding in some Party Favors has allowed me to really enjoy being fucked, and my ratio is more like 60% top 40% bottom now. Will not wear latex as a bottom. One or two negative buds are so hot I will put a sock on for them, but mostly play with pig buds and specify BB.