PozBearWI

I experienced the same thing FWIW.

I have enjoyed reading this conversation after a few days away from BZ. First, I love this sort of conversation, smack dab in the middle of a sexual place. Appropriate to me as sex is a big part of my self identity; especially as a retired person (sort of). I work for fun now and have more time to make sexual pleasure a priority. What is troubling me about our political dialogue is that it is entrenched, it seems, in religious dogma. I am an atheist which informs a good part of my view on our whole global social dilemma. I realize and accept that some of my friends believe differently. We don't however tell each other to live their life based on our differing beliefs. There is stuff that some people choose to believe, And by all means, believe anything you want. Some belief's are based on individuals who may have lived thousands of years ago. We know this stuff only from stories. We might see artifacts of that time in our history. However, we are skilled as a species at embellishing, minimizing, editing our stories. There are other beliefs which are based on measurable, observable. Many of us can see two things and spot the differences (very much like the newspaper "spot the differences" cartoons from my youth). Most of us, I hope, read with a certain amount of horror of the Salem Witch trials which were, in human history, not very long ago; or some of the brutal treatment of homosexuals attempting to torture them into finding opposite sex more attractive. Why do we seem as a society to tell others who they should be or what they should do? {aside; to that end it is wise to slow down sexual commitments made by youths. Our formative years are just that; our natural intellects discovering the world around us and forming our relationship to the world around us. I would use caution on medical interventions. Jim sexually at 5 vs 10 vs 15 vs 25 varied quite a bit and I am thankful there was not a whole lot of pushing me to conform to any specific agenda; nor to make mistakes and learn. } For me WRT abortion is that we have our eye on the wrong thing. Each of us is an individual and regarding what happens to our body should be entirely ours to choose. If what is in our body is a potential human, they are entirely dependent upon their host organism. It does not have a voice as it is not yet born. I think we have gone too far in this fretting over who has not been born and yet seem apathetic to post partum abortions. It is clear that other social gains in my lifetime are also at risk. "Wokeness" and fretting "name calling" is not helping us. Life has its challenges and somehow I got to this point in life being called all the shit people now get nuts about. Did I like it? Hell no. But they were words. It was up to me to decide whether I needed to give a crap. We seem to care way too little about what people do compared to what they say... We, collectively, sexual enthusiasts, are at a point on deciding what we are actually going to do. Who we vote for is going to determine our future I think. I am a poll worker. I am locally elected. Perhaps it is time to rip the band aid off the seemingly prohibited Thanksgiving political and social dialogue. I grew up on that, am so thankful I did. Loving this thread guys; Thank you.

🙂 Hmmm, piss can be fun too...

I hear ya John. I do as well in Ozaukee county.

There are: [think before following links] https://www.redbubble.com/i/pin/HIV-Awareness-Speak-Out-Against-HIV-Stigma-by-HMMIndiana/34533546.NP9QY

Adding to @fskn; speak up. There is no harm in saying hello. Conversations can evolve from fairly ordinary to fairly sexual in just a humorous side comment the other can either grab onto or pass as something funny.

Having recently recovered from Norovirus I can sure relate. Not from a cruise but from a restaurant chain we visited a month ago. I might rather have an STI instead of that. 🙂

As is often the case @fskn is spot on. And I agree workplaces seem to be hypersensitive so use extra care there.

I've been on antivirals for herpes for about two decdes. Over time I've been able to cut dozing with no ill effects (at the suggestion of my doc). I have not had an outbreak in several years now. But indeed early on, even on antivirals they broke out every few months.

I agree @fskn. In fact one should expect their partner to evolve during the course of their relationship. Ideally we are curious about how our mate will evolve and will want to stay in the game (so to speak) to see how it all turns out.

As I am in the group of "the hedonists above"; I certainly don't completely disagree. However, there is nothing wrong with being a hedonist. What typically becomes destructive to a relationship is lack of clear and honest communication. Sadly a lot of this is trained in us in stories and music as if all relationships must include crappy communications with one another. That is also a choice often made and it rarely if ever turns out well. If we're given permission to have an ice cream bar, and then get whacked when we do; that is clearly a defect of the person giving permission. Something similar to this has happened to most of us at least once and clearly happened to you @ErosWired. That sucks; but it wasn't the fact you had your single encounter. It was because your mate at the time lied about being open to accepting you as you are.

One might consider reading the book "Ethical Polyamory".

Ouch. And sad.

Exactly, the onus is on the older, and purportedly more mature person with we hope skills to ferret out assertions from facts. If you don't know, you don't know. Telling the officer "but he told me" isn't a valid defense.

I have had some STD's. Some like herpes will at times break out and those outbreaks itch and ooze like crazy. Not much mistaking that one EXCEPT that most of the time you feel no different at all. There are medications to help control that virus. Of the others I've had, I didn't know I had them until I got tested (which is right up there in importance for me as grocery shopping, just with different timing. In fact, I think the key thing to remember regarding any of the STI's is, make regular STI screening (and treatment when necessary) a part of your regular practice. A bit of context here, I am just recovered from norovirus; a virus where I am immune to all sub strains but one; so my first time in my many decades of "enjoying" this nasty ass bug. My best wishes to anyone who would intentionally go out and get infected with it. Seems way more fun to not be sick and enjoy pleasurable sex.... But maybe I am just weird...

Indeed this is an option. We could follow her 'rules' to the letter. Somehow for me that just doesn't fit. My partner isn't "in my way" sexually. In fact my mate isn't "in the way" on any front. We have a partnership we've openly agreed to for life, knowing the pitfalls we sometimes stumble on; and full well knowing that one of us is going to the others funeral. We care about each others happiness. And we are curious to experience how our relationship is evolving. There is nothing we can't discuss and resolve. Given that and the fact we are completely open sexually; it seems my most loving behavior would be to do my best to do more than "follow the rules" when and how I can. If we're sharing our lives, why would we do otherwise?

Very similar experience of the same phenomena @BootmanLA. Our bodies are pretty flexible and resilient to handle pretty much any human cock given preparation; knowledge and experience of the guy we're playing with is what really seems to matter on this topic.

Or, being on PrEP, I can enjoy the load from the lovely guy fucking me and be thankful I have little to fret. Of course we do all acknowledge here that HIV is the minority risk we're taking with other STI's expanding (at least locally here in Wisconsin) right??

It's only cheating if it is outside the defined bounds the two set for their relationship.

I suspect you knew your answer when you asked the question. Today would be a good time to share with him what you just shared with us. A frank conversation about how you want your relationship to be is clearly in order. I am curious, who did the initiating of play pre-pandemic? Did you two have a conversation about ending outside play? And were the reasons due to Covid-19 protection or something else? I think a whole lot of people sort of pulled-in these past couple years. Possibly even within an LTR. Coming out of that time should be a basis for lots of conversations from vacationing to reopening a previously open relationship. Relationships naturally have things we do together and things we do by ourselves. Is there a point in keeping what we do by ourselves a secret? I think part of the joy of relationships is that we can take pleasure in the pleasure of our mate. Or is the consensus here, perhaps except for me; that our significant others are in charge of dictating our sexual pleasure?

Of course, we'll know when we know.... From the git go his rationalizations that he feared Ukraine or feared they would join NATO (which I believe is inevitable now). I would not discount that Putin might resort to nukes. I hope he doesn't. There are a Sthit ton of reasons why he hould not use them. But Putin isn't acting rationally.

I agree. The right wing has become the party of Putin and insane Q anon BS. I miss the classic Republicans. I have a problem with extremism, trending strongly centrist myself. And I am tired of being PC. Agree we shouldn't be intentionally insulting, but our neighbors would do well to develop a thicker skin.

@fskn man I wish I lived in your neighborhood!!!!

NKP a hit or miss site for me here in the midwest. My experience seems to match yours though; a lot of party and play guys and definitely poz friendly.

Adam4Adam triggers my security software every time with the payloads it brings along. I've stopped using it. Squirt.org a waste of time. Recon, similar to A4A comes along with payloads which trigger my security software. I keep a BBRT account but as others wrote, and I agree, it has pretty much dried up in favor of Scruff and Grindr. (although Grindr frequently hangs and responses can fail right at a critical moment. I gave up on Manhunt years ago along with LIfeOut (which loves to take your money and then dump you once they have it).