PozBearWI

Indeed and thanks @BootmanLA. By agreement with my HIV doc I am not medicated. But I'll get a good cadence of labs going and we'll see how this progresses. I am at a point in life where fretting potential side effects 30 years from now makes no sense. And my genetics are doing a pretty good job of managing. I am not far above the "undetectable" line. And I prefer to play with guys who are equally well informed about risks and how HIV works.

Indeed, I would hope we keep talking until we find a set of facts we can agree upon. In recent years nuance seems to have been lost with overplay of comparatively less important things. We edit ourselves when we should just speak freely and accept "I disagree" with grace.

@PozToxVersPig so we reap what we sow??? 🙂

Certainly shows a lack of imagination on their part right???

Over the past 20 years as society at large has made a "thing" of the uncle bringing up controversial topics at Thanksgiving. The result of course is that we've stopped discussing things for fear of "upsetting" someone. That's a piss poor motivation to achieve understanding with each other and a sure fire way to never achieve understanding. While the principle we're trying to achieve socially seems pretty clear; we no longer state it with clarity; rather diffusing it (or perhaps news media infusing it with conclusions rather than facts. The delight in the Thanksgiving passionate conversations was that no one ran to a corner to hide. There was no violence. Simply passion at the facts. So I grew up and recall fondly the Thanksgiving "arguments" (really debate from two trained in debate) of my dad and his sister. @nanana you cast a rather broad net when you describe our less thoroughly informed brothers as revel. But of course, some of them actually do. For me the caution flag is raised whenever our reference is so broad as to encompass any large grouping; as if each individual within that group were Xerox copies of each other. We are more in agreement than not. So truly my only point to you is the reference "democrats" or "republicans". Now it is true that there is a rather large subset of "republicans" who have closed their eyes to facts. They have their adored leader who they appear to approach as if he is Jesus returned. The Republican Party is right now nothing like the Republican party of any elected Republican prior to 2017 and certainly prior to 2009. For most of us I think we are still grappling with what the Party values are. Certainly unclear as their leader seems to have a wandering focus. The diversity amongst Harris supporters now (irrespective of their native "party") is rather diverse. Until the main opposition party comes back to center (and judging from the VP debate combined with the bipartisan agreement in immigration, not yet ratified; I think that is achievable next term; DEPENDING largely on how we vote. The things we fear about the Democratic Party; that we will be paying for sex change operations of illegal immigrants is largely fear mongering. It is popular amongst the opposition to create fear. Just listen to their PAC advertising... FWIW on how I vote.... I vote for people, not parties. I'll vary on primaries depending on whose running in the other party. This year I pulled an R ticket to take one 45 vote away in the primary. It didn't make a difference; but any of the others as people in office I was

I am never offended by the question. Sometimes my mate is a bit put off as his tendency is to simply start ignoring guys who ask that. And TBH, if a fellow is of voting age and still holds the view that some work is "womens work"; then how the heck to they manage self care alone? There is no reason any of us can't become fully functioning adults, able to handle any of our personal and physical needs on our own. I try to be a bit more forgiving because asking that question that way at least gives me clues into their current bias; and hopefully I can say something to expand their worldview a bit. Ditto when I am asked "am I clean". My response is, "how do you mean that"? Besides I am poz and not on meds, (although my genetics are doing a bang up job at controlling the virus within me). So if I can respond in a way that expands their world view a bit; all the better. And if they simply go away; awesome. Glad they found their comfortable place....

Thanks for clarifying. There are multiple testing windows. Some HIV tests can detect whether you've been exposed; and others are simply looking for antigens and antibodies. Oraquik is 95% accurate at six weeks. But that window goes all the way up to six months if the two of you need a 99.9% sort of answer. This seems like a conversation you and your mate need to have. The short answer is to old off six months if you want the greatest certainty of results. You might test every month; and really it's a decision the two of you need to make. For my mate and I we're fine with my modest enough viral load. Fucking is unlikely to infect him. But someone else might feel like they need 99.9+% certainty. OK, when you go on PrEP; there is a whole interesting intake protocol they will use. Explain your history to them when you go to your local Infectious Disease clinic and they will know what tests to run before prescribing PrEP. If PrEP is your and your mates decision, you can make your clinic appointment ASAP. Your mate could have stated PrEP when you had your moment leading you to test.... There is some helpful information on the pages of your OraQuik packaging. Plus they include links to resources.

Nice start @Tanbbottom.

@Safer that is completely up to you buddy... Be honest and accept the result, which might very well be "you betcha, let's fuck". But it might be "thanks but no thanks".

I agree @hntnhole. And indeed what @PozToxVersPig wrote is really the only way one could answer that concern. If the OP is concerned that PrEP (and I'll add doxyPEP to the mix of options here) aren't enough; sometimes telling a potential playmate "no thanks" is the best option. A VL of 2.5 million for me tends to confirm the newness of his seroconversion. PrEP is made to deal with that although I would definitely recommend being ON it for a couple of weeks before having sex with this particular guy. And I would stay on it for a couple of weeks after our last fucking. But it is pretty damned effective and thus likely to have a good outcome even if you used it 2-1-1. ALSO: the only 100% "safe" is to do nothing. So if one is unable to find some risk "acceptable" risk then one's choice should be pretty obvious.

For the majority of my adult life I've been verse. And in fact I've a strong preference. Flip fucking was my particular pleasure. ED has of course done a great job of fucking that up. Thankfully sometimes I can. But sometimes it just isn't an option for me.

Yes of course, same for me.

When was that test? You indicated you're poz on meds; so I presume this was at least a couple of weeks ago.

Definitely non reactive. So interpret as "not yet poz"

In the 90's when more tested I would inquire about that. I made a half assed attempt at serosorting. By the 80's I already had HPV and HSV.

I pozzed because I needed to be poz, fucking for decades did result in other infections which I always treated, but HIV never happened, even in the 80's when the virus was expanding amongst us. I used a more certain method. Even then my genetics made that take months rather than weeks. Chasing to me implies "making a concerted effort"; and until I intentionally infected, I correctly assumed that it was unlikely I would ever get infected by barebacking. I tended to self describe as a "not avoider"...

Welcome New Guys. I've been here for awhile and knew that new guys weren't getting in. Glad that is resolved!

I am grateful for experiencing Chicago in the 70's and 80's; although glad to be out in the countryside now....

Each season brings on it's own possibility of pleasure and possibility of discomfort. But isn't that true of all parts of our being alive? I personally tend to like a life of variety and thus have done all sorts of different things; intentionally avoiding overdoing any one thing. Having a stairwell at home is a built in "stairmaster" I don't need special clothes nor driving anywhere to use. It's there for me all the time. Organizing so that I don't have to use them constantly is easy to do. Put my crap in the right place for what I am trying to do. It feels good to clean and put away my battery operated lawn mower for the winter; and to put my battery operated snow thrower in place to clear my driveway once the snows start up. I can argue I have plenty of inside time posting here on BZ. I focus on cooking different things; more winter stews and soups for example which seem to fit my winter appetite well. And we're right AT that transition now. Store tomatoes don't compare to what I harvest from my garden during July to Frost time. I put away berries ripening at about a quart a day right now; that I will use in delicious ways during "the dark months" to come. I can clean my gas grill; renew any wear while that stuff is on closeout at ACE Hardware; and switch to stovetop and oven for my hot food needs. So yeah, sure, the daylight is getting shorter and temps are cooling down to freezing soon. Right now outdoor temp and indoor temps are pretty much the same - the delight of Fall here!

I am not afflicted with SAD. But the thing I most dislike about this half the year in the northern hemisphere is the short daylight. I'm fine with the cold.

I absolutely love sucking cock; no training was ever needed although my skills have developed over the years.

Ah stories.... Not sure what my personal path is going to be; poz and unmedicated at the moment, but my genetics attenuate virus production in me. I honestly don't know what I would do were my jizz virulent. In the context of the story, the initial hesitation of the medicated top makes no sense to me as u=u is pretty well established principle.

I agree, if Israel declares war with Iran they might be on their own. Then too, we could very well be on the verge of a new world war. I hope not, but...

The progression of Israel/Hamas war is troubling. It is however, their war, not ours. Giving up on our ally in the middle of its conflict will show the world we aren't true to our word. NATO as a group might choose to intervene; but on it's own the US needs to uphold our alliance, even though it is resulting in unhappy consequences. Our option is to encourage our ally to find a resolution; and/or to engage all NATO countries in working out a solution.

Considering risk is only around 1% unlikely to have infected. But hot story.