tallslenderguy

Good point ErosWired. i don't mean to mislead. i too have very good insurance and qualify for the pharm assist. i have never directly paid for my ART meds. i say "directly" because i do have to consider, for instance, if i left my job, would i still be able to have the same coverage. Also, when you take ART, you are tethered to it, dependent. You have to make sure you always have meds available.

i responded to this thread a year ago when it first started... fast forward to now and i've had a little experience with drinking from the tap now. i've had experience of Men pissing deep in my ass for years, and absolutely love that. Half of those experiences, they just did it with no discussion. i am lucky because it goes into my 'second hole' (beyond the sigmoic curve) and once it is there, it's pretty easy for me to retain. i've slept with it overnight on several occasions and that gives my body a chance to absorb a lot of His piss. i love that because that is a form of Him impregnating me. For a few years, i've fantasized about drinking from the tap. For me it's a deeply psychological experience. i don't like the taste of piss and don't relate to those who drink their or a Mans piss from a glass. For me, it's all about receiving His piss from His cock. So, the thing that drives me and helps me overcome the taste thing is the psychological factors, and that is pretty specific for me. i'm not into bullying or force at all from a Man. The way i am wired (and i'm not making this universal, this is just me), if a Man is a bully or forceful, He is not connecting with me and actully shuts me down. It's a Mans desire/need/lust to use and have me that opens me wide to Him. So when i see the lust or even need in a Man to use me as His receptacle, it evokes my own lust/need/desire to have Him inside of me in all of HIs forms. And that lust/need/desire overcomes my distaste for piss and my fear of it. Since last year when this thread started, i've had several opportunities to drink from the tap with two Men. my fears prior were twofold: taste and quantity. i was worried if i'd be able to take the taste. i'd done lots of research and reading already, i'm also a critical care nurse, so i'm very familiar with assessing piss lol. i actually chart quantity, concentration and oder as part of my profession, so i know a lot about piss. So far, my experience drinking from the tap has been strong, concentrated piss, and i honestly did not like the taste. i was surprised and kind of proud of my ability to take quantity. That has worried me when i fantasized about drinking from a Mans cock because psychologically i didn't want to waste any, and i wanted to be able to please Him by taking Him without spilling or spitting it out. i want to convey how much i want and value Him. For me, that is part of the mind fuck for both of us, that He can get off on me being His toilet. i can connect and satisfy the lust in Him that even what is generally considered waste by Him and others, is something i both want and He can get me to need. i see a lot of long term potential in relationship with WS as a sort of collaring place. So, for me, i am still learning how to take it and need more practice. i'd like to experience a Man Who's piss is dilute, not strong, like others have described. So far, it's been strong and while the quantity was no problem for me, the taste overwhelmed me and i had to stop after a certain amount. i do believe if all the psychological factors are in play, i will learn to take a Man's piss no matter what, but admit i am still developing my ability to do that.

By the standards set forth in this proposed law, the Jewish and Christian bible would be prohibited, here's an example from 2 Samuel 6:16; 1 Samuel 19:24: 16 As the ark of the LORD came into the city of David, Michal the daughter of Saul lookedout of the window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, and she despised him in her heart. 24 And he too stripped off his clothes, and he too prophesied before Samuel and lay naked all that day and all that night. Thus it is said, “Is Saul also among the prophets?” "11 (a) FEDERAL FUNDS LIMITATION.—No Federal 12 funds may be made available to develop, implement, facili- 13 tate, or fund any sexually-oriented program, event, or lit- 14 erature for children under the age of 10, including hosting 15 or promoting any program, event, or literature involving 16 sexually-oriented material, or any program, event, or lit- 17 erature that exposes children under the age of 10 to nude 18 adults, individuals who are stripping, or lewd or lascivious 19 dancing." i remember when i was 8 years old laughing with my boy friends while at church as we shared and discussed these bible verses with each other. The double standards of some religious folk overlook heteronormative stuff and call this: "God's word." "1 Kings 1:1-4-1-4 The Message (MSG) King David grew old. The years had caught up with him. Even though they piled blankets on him, he couldn’t keep warm. So his servants said to him, “We’re going to get a young virgin for our master the king to be at his side and look after him; she’ll get in bed with you and arouse our master the king.” So they searched the country of Israel for the most ravishing girl they could find; they found Abishag the Shunammite and brought her to the king. The girl was stunningly beautiful; she stayed at his side and looked after the king, but the king did not have sex with her." Ezekiel 23:19-20 Evangelical Heritage Version 19 Yet she increased her whoring. She remembered the days of her youth when she acted like a prostitute in the land of Egypt. 20 She lusted after her paramours, whose genitals[a] were like the genitals of donkeys and whose ejaculation was like the ejaculation of horses.

Here are excerpts from the proposed bill and a link to the bill if one wishes to bypass media reporting about the bill and see exactly what is being proposed: "5 (2) Federal funds should not be used to expose 6 children under 10 years of age to sexually-oriented 7 material. 15 (e) DEFINITIONS.—In this section: 16 (1) SEXUALLY-ORIENTED MATERIAL.—The 17 term ‘‘sexually-oriented material’’ means... any topic involving gender iden- 21 tity, gender dysphoria, transgenderism, sexual ori- 22 entation, or related subjects." [think before following links] https://mikejohnson.house.gov/uploadedfiles/johnla_083_xml.pdf

Couple of thoughts on fear. "Fear" can be natures way of trying to protect us, giving us a heads-up. Fear can also be a conditioned response and is not always reasonable. And a lot of times, it's some of both. i think one can push back against fear, we often try to meet it with reason, but fear isn't something that can just be easily turned on or off. ' i agree with those who advocate facing the reasons for fear with reason. Add parts to your life that will address the reasons for fear: e.g., get on PrEP, get protective vaccines like Covid, Monkey Pox, get routinely checked for STD's. These are things we can do to help protect us. On the other hand, life is full of risk. Do we stop driving a car because of the risk of an accident? Do we stop going to the theater or grocery store because we might catch the flu? Do we stop eating because we might get food poisoning? Do we stop having sex because we might get an STD? Some find they can crowd fear out by telling their self that getting a disease, or risking the same, is 'fun.' You do not seem to fall into that category. i'd like to underline that one and weigh in on not joining the disease if fun idea. You are 25. At this point, HIV is a lifetime disease where you have to take expensive meds daily to survive. Unless you are into FinDom, i cannot see the fun in that. "HIV treatments can be expensive. HIV care involves a type of medication called antiretroviral therapy (ART) and regular visits with your doctor. One study estimated that costs of this care could run anywhere between $1,800 to $4,500 each month during a person’s lifetime. Most of this, about 60%, comes from the high cost of ART medications." [think before following links] https://www.webmd.com/hiv-aids/hiv-treatment-cost

i don't have a particularly small penis, but i do not think or feel like i have a "cock" or "dick." Nah, i'm not delusional. i know i have a penis betwixt my legs, but for me the feelings, and subsequent thoughts i have about my physical attributes are inextricably part of my psychosexual wiring (and from what i read of other bottoms, i think this is true about a lot of us on the far end of the sexual spectrum). For me a cock/dick is about penetrating, fucking, breeding. It's a part of a Man that He uses to connect both physical and psychological needs/desires. i'm wired to receive those needs/desires as a corresponding natural cock/dick receiver. i encounter some Tops who understand this, and some who do not. Some guys (Top, bottom or versatile, and everywhere in between), do not go beyond their own wiring when it comes to understanding. We may not be able to relate to someone who is not like us, but we can understand. i think those who work to understand end up having the better connections and sex life because the more we understand the type person we need/want, the more likely we are to have solid, deep experiences/connections/relationships. A certain kind of Top, one at the opposite far end of the spectrum from me, may not relate to my not having a cock/dick, but a part of Him desires that in a bottom. When He sees and understands that, He looks for a bottom who meets His desire/need. i've encountered all sorts of expressions of that from different Tops. One Man i've been with had a strong drive to internalize my penis. Literally. He wanted to push it into my pelvic cavity and make it look like a pussy. He even got me some devices that some trans people wear to tuck their penis and testicles. Other Tops do not acknowledge it at all, while others still, love to use it to 'frustrate' any use of my penis for sexual release and use that stimulation to focus my sexual energy. lol. those are some thoughts on "small dick" in a holistic vs just physical sense.

i've been a bottom my whole live and received prolly a few thousand Men, i've never had an accident where i was not clean and He got besmirched, though i still live in fear of that happening. i'm not so much mortified by my own feces as i would be of a Man feeling turned off, or even repelled. For me, a Man's attraction and lust are major components of sex, so i work hard to stay clean. Having said that, i also wish for and fantasize about being able to be spontaneous 24/7. i've often gone a whole day without eating in anticipation of a Man wanting to fuck and me wanting to be there for Him. i currently have a FB who contacts me on the spur of the moment and have had to scramble to douche. There's been several times where i have not been as confident as i want to be because He really doesn't get what a bottom goes through to prep, regardless of explanation, so i don't take as much time. i'm not going to forgo His desire, so i work to accommodate, but it does interject an element of nervousness. i wouldn't mind being bred au natural if the Top is really into it, but that's because it's His need/desire that evokes and connects to my own.

For those who believe we as gays live in a more friendly and accepting world, here's some balance tipping legislation from those who still believe being gay is perverse and unnatural. [think before following links] https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-politics-and-policy/national-dont-say-gay-law-republicans-introduce-bill-restrict-lgbtq-re-rcna53064?cid=sm_npd_nn_tw_np&utm_source=ground.news&utm_medium=referral

For me, it's not particular words, but the energy and attitude behind them. i don't open, get turned on or excited if i feel force or bullying, that's a total buzz kill for me. Force, to me, feels like He doesn't realize the power and position He has. He doesn't have to force something He knows i want and need. For me it's most powerful and He gets possession when He truly knows He has me and at the same time, He wants me as much as i want Him. It can be a very subtle thing, a look in His eyes, just a feel, where He knows He has power over me and, in that time and space, owns me. That, mixed with a few words like "take cock" and i am soooo His.

"Although PSA testing can help catch prostate cancer at an early stage, having an elevated PSA (generally considered more than 4 ng/ml) doesn’t necessarily mean that a man has cancer. Noncancerous conditions, including benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH), or an enlarged prostate, and prostatitis, can raise PSA levels. In fact, studies have shown that about 70% to 80% of men with an elevated PSA who have a biopsy do not have cancer. However, many men undergo an ultrasound and prostate biopsy, to be certain. Conversely, the PSA test doesn’t detect all cancers. About 20% of men who have cancer also have a normal PSA (less than 4 ng/ml), so the test may give some men a false sense of security. For this reason, some experts take a man’s age into account when considering a PSA level. And most doctors observe how a man’s PSA level changes over time, a measure called PSA velocity, rather than using it as a one-time indicator. PSA scores tend to rise more rapidly in men with cancer than in those with BPH, for example. Some doctors also measure the level of free PSA. The PSA protein circulates in the blood in two forms: bound to other proteins or unbound (free). Several studies suggest that men with elevated PSA levels and a very low percentage of free PSA are more likely to have prostate cancer than a benign condition. Knowing your free PSA level won’t give you a definitive answer about cancer, but it may be useful when considering whether a biopsy is an appropriate next step." [think before following links] https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/is-psa-reliable-20110327214 This too for those interested: [think before following links] https://nutritionfacts.org/video/treating-advanced-prostate-cancer-with-diet-part-1/

Yes, hundreds of times... but not by a professional. Joking aside. A couple of times by a doctor, males each time. Emotionally, i cannot disconnect from the fact that it's a guy penetrating me. Each time i've ended up grunting and trying to tighten vs being receptive so it won't be obvious that i like it and end up making him feel awkward. i've written before about an experience i had when i was younger and presumed straight (i was married to a woman). i was getting checked for STD and the doctor explained He had to massage my prostate to get an accurate UA. He had me pull my jeans down around my ankles and bend over the exam table and He stayed in there a long time and had me dripping. i've never shaken the feeling that He finger fucked me and was enjoying what He was doing, definitely 'examined' my prostate.

i'm feel sorry for Your loss. Personally, i do not think sex is ever 'just sex.' i think any and every time a Man leaves His seed in me, has pleasure penetrating me, a part of Him remains inside of me and a puts His permanent signature on me. His signature may be tiny, and in the corner of my soul, but it is there. It may eventually become obscured by all the other signatures, but His mark is still there. i think it's some kind of wonderful that you eulogize this important and valuable Man in this community.

i too state my preference, but won't turn a Top down who wants to use my hole. i will ask Him to remove the condom after and insert His seed into my hole. i've only ever had to do that a few times, but the Guys i've asked to do that get turned on by the idea and it's sort of like a second fuck. i have yet to find a Top who was not turned on by the idea of seeding a bottom, more a fear of catching an STD to overcome. i of course want Him to shoot His seed directly into me from His cock, but i'll take Him pushing His seed in with His fingers vs nothing at all.

Re online profiles, i think it Depends what you are looking for? Guys claiming to be looking for love or ltr on a hook up site pretty much automatically scream "SCAMMER" to me. BBRT is a hook up site by my estimation. i totally get the reasons behind stating what one doesn't like or want, but given how many people don't read profiles, short and positive makes more sense to me. For instance, the OP profile says not into scat...to me it seems very few guys are into scat, so that's probably not necessary to say up front? i'd keep it positive, leave out the negatives since it's a hook up site and you are trying to spark interest. Other than that, i think it's a good profile. i'm one of those who has given up on using an app for hookup sex. i'd rate them at about 10% effective for that purpose. i spend more time on relationship oriented sites when it comes to online. i have met Guys online who become FB's, but i find apps to be a wasteland when it comes to having anonymous sex 'right now.' i think removing the ether significantly increases the odds of actual physical connection. i have a FB who is consistently horny, just gotta be able to be spontaneous with Him. He's a quality fuck though and fills a lot of my need, lessening the need for quantity. When i do need quantity, i go to a place where i can hook in person.

i've never been raped, thankfully. i'm not convinced anyone wants to be raped because, if one has that desire, and they have that desire when it's happening, is it still rape? idk When i was a kid (14), a guy stopped me when i was walking (he was driving) and asked for directions to the hospital to see his wife. i started to give him directions and he asked if i could show him. Naive kid that i was, i got in the car. Just before we got to the hospital, he pulled into an empty parking lot and said he wanted to smoke a joint before going to the hospital. i'd been around drugs, so it didn't bother me, though i wasn't into them myself. That's when things got weird. He said his stash was under the passenger seat and he asked me to "keep look out" while He got it. He ended up with his head between my feet, ostensibly looking for his grass. He then said it was lodged up under the seat, and began pushing down on the seat... between my legs. He obviously had a pretty elaborate imagination, and i was naive as fuck, but what he was actually doing was rubbing up against my cock with his arm. He kept telling me to "keep look out" when i'd look down at what he was doing, so i only felt it, and i felt as i was getting hard. At that point, it dawned on me what was happening. my survival instinct kicked in and i pretended nothing was going on, told him i need to leave now, saying "the hospital is right around the corner," so he would not feel threatened. He backed off and said he'd drive me back to where he picked me up. When we got there, i had to get outside on the drivers side because i then noticed the door handle on the inside of the passenger side was missing. i think i dodged a bullet, and yet oddly, later on in life i'd masturbate to the memory, but i was scared at the time.

Thought there might be some on BZ who would appreciate, maybe even benefit from this Ted Talk. It's kinda sweet. i think the speaker makes some assumptions when it comes to belief vs knowledge, but appreciate his attitude of promoting love and acceptance.

a little more... Personally, i get it. i can have a hairy or smooth ass and have always preferred it smooth. Smooth 'feels' more bottom to me. But a simple search of BZ will show discussions about this very topic that reveal such feelings are individual. my experience is Tops are about 50/50 on whether they prefer hairy or not, with many variations on those themes. A smaller percentage of guys don't care either way. Wanting to present as bottom and attract Men, and have the effect on You like that guy did has always been a goal, but not one i have been able to meet since there is no one universal, defining standard when it comes to hair.

i think there's no way to tell if he's gay, let alone bottom, by looking. What is apparent is that You are gay lol. I.e., i see what You are feeling is Your own natural attraction to a man and his ass and Your evoked desire fills You with wishful thinking that he would reciprocate. Prolly why straight people decided at some point to make separate dressing rooms for male and female? Idk, but it's a dilemma we gays have that it's still awkward for a guy to flirt with or sexually approach a guy who's a stranger.

i think it's a sign of a good connection when you can laugh with a guy while having sex. Actually, i think it's a healthy sign when we can laugh at our self, and when we reach a place where we can do that with another.

For me it comes down to principle vs person. i think monogamy, or many other relational agreements, run into trouble when the principle becomes more important than the person. Life is fluid, as are people who are alive. We change. Making a static rule that one must always adhere to seems to me to presume a future we cannot know. So people end up cheating to maintain appearance, or they suppress what is to supposedly preserve what should be.

On this site, kissing arse is a good thing practiced by many.

i think this is a good point in a forum community, and i have taken a similar approach myself on occasion, but it always leaves me feeling lousy, probably some ptsd there. Which, to my way of thinking, should not be the reason i do not participate. i think it's probably impossible to go through life without wounds, i do work to live with mine vs be defeated by them. Case by case basis me thinks, it can go either way as to whether or not to try, but i think you make a good clarification that in a forum setting there are more than two people involved, even if the audience is not actively participating.

Thanks for the feedback blackrobe, i always appreciate your posts. Point taken, few issues have a black or white answer, eh? There are posts that i end up not responding to at all for the reason you cite (i.e., the potential of fueling a fire). To me, the ultimate goal of a forum is to discuss and engage, sometimes debate. As many in this community know from plethora posts, i came out a fundamentalist background that was rife with people who 'know the truth,' so i'm likely more sensitive to those who present as absolutist or pedantic. Even in a lively debate, if both parties are aware they could be wrong, there can be dialogue vs one or both just trying to convince the other igorant person of their clear understanding of ___________. If i encounter that, i generally ignore that person because i'm convinced they are not interested in me or what i might have to say anyway. To me the danger of giving just a downvote to such a person is the reason for the downvote is left to their imagination and interpretation, which seems to have the effect of fueling vs dampening a fire.

Sort of an aside, but i think germane to the discussion: i don't like downvotes. i've only received or used them a few times (which i regret). To me, they are not just the opposite of an up vote. The few times i have received one, i've always felt sort of slapped in the face... which is why i have stopped using them as well. i don't want anyone to feel that way (even though i know my feelings are not universal). A heart or upvote is positive affirmation, and though i might wish for more feedback as to why the responder felt or thought that way, it's always a positive for me to receive one. A downvote leaves question marks and opens the door for speculation because it only conveys dislike or disapproval, without any feedback as to why the downvoter thought or felt that way. i think it also makes it easier to be petty and even abusive. If a person gives a written response disagreeing with another, there is a place and chance for dialogue, discussion. To me, a downvote feels like a drive by flipping me off. i think it is a poor or incomplete form of communication and i wish it was not a part of this site.

lol, yeah, it's called "receiving cock" and it has to be performed over and over.