tallslenderguy

i too can only offer a bottom perspective. For me, it’s more the idea and intent behind a Top pissing in or on me (ideally in). i’m not all that into smells, I even seem to be a rare guy who likes when a Top wears a light cologne, but for me piss is about Him marking or impregnating His territory, not me smelling rank. i love having a gaped hole that looks obviously used for the same reason, it’s like having His signature on and in me.

i think the Alpha/beta dynamic is real, but individual and varied, i see it as part of the sexual spectrum. The type of Alpha i'm attracted to is One who is driven by the need/desire to control the sexual creative process. i think there are Men who are driven to inseminate, and i see the expression of insemination as going beyond the actual physical act, especially with humans who are not just physical beings, but emotional and psycological beings. For instance, to me an Alpha can express the inseminating drive by pissing in or on another guy, by penetrating his hole, by penetrating him psychologically and emotionally and inseminating him there. For me the dynamic is about Effector and effected, the adventure is discovering the depths of that and the huge variety of ways it can be accomplished.

i’d change the wording to:” Your dick is good for creating/making loose whores. “Truth is, for me i might be a little afraid at first, but emotionally and physically i’d so want You and Your Name on and in me. Making my hole into Your loose cunt is like You will always be with me, and i love that. my favorite is a Top who is so good at what He does that He slowly seduces my hole to where I don’t even realize that He’s turned me into His loose pussy till after He’s done it.

Yes. For me, a Mans piss is as awesome as His cum. Different, but fucking awesome. In some ways, more amazing because when i hold onto it and absorb it, i can tell He has impregnated me because when i pee i can smell His piss in my urine and i know i have absorbed Him into myself. To me a Man pissing is another form of Him cumming. When i lived in VA, i used to frequent this restroom at a mall and i'd get bred under the stall wall. Often would pass notes back and forth first to see what we were looking for. One time a guy slid His thighs and cock under the wall and i mounted Him and He fucked me. After He was done, He handed me a note thanking me saying: "thanks, i've had to go all morning." (He'd used me as His urinal and filled me with piss). i loved Him for it, and He knew it. i love the Top/bottom dynamic where both get what they need just by being who they are.

Never been turned on by race play, just doesn't strike a chord in me. Mind fuck humiliation though... damn. It has to be subtle to really work on me, i've experienced it with Top/Dom guys of a type, who are emotionally and mentally powerful, but the farthest thing from forceful or bullying. i guess that's what makes it so powerful for me, that they are able to get the upper hand and control me, then subtly make it clear that's what's happened as i submit to Them. i had one Dom who regressed me by continuously praising and encouraging me as a "Good boy!!" the whole time i was gagging and tearing, nose running working so hard to please Him by taking His huge cock in my throat. i felt like a little kid trying to please His so hard, and He knew how to get me to that place and control me there. i adored Him, i couldn't help it, and He knew it... we both did.

i'm a critical care nurse and i just spent the weekend caring for a Covid-19 patient. She is young, has no other medical issues and is on day 11 today. We are already in a shortage of personal protective equipment (PPE) in the US and it hasn't reached the stage of Italy. The US is ridiculously unprepared. i was sick with Covid like symptoms for 10 days prior to going back to work on Friday, and yet still have not been able to get tested to know what i had/have. i had to reuse the same mask all day Friday because of the shortage of gowns and masks. Healthcare workers are dying in Italy because of a lack of proper testing and PPE, same thing can happen in the US. Countries like Singapore, S Korea and Taiwan tested early and everyone could get tested. Here's the missing ingredient the chasers don't seem to get, you don't feel like having sex when you're as sick as you get from Covid or AID's. I had to hold the thermometer for my patient she was so weak. i for one want all gay guys to live and thrive, i love men and don't want to see our community decimated. Please be safe guys.

Yes, diet. Fiber, the more from a food source of whole food plant based, the better. Fiber creates bulk that feeds the colon micro biome, but is not absorbed by our body, thereby filling the space and brushing it clean as it passes. Animal protein and fat has no fiber and little to no bulk, it makes things much messier and hard to clean up.

i practiced martial arts for 25+ years and loved sparring. A lot of guys would seem mystified when i'd congratulate them on an landed punch or kick. To me it's like sort of a dance, especially when you're experienced, when you get so focused in you move almost in unison with your partner. Also when your experienced enough to pull a punch or kick and your partner knows you could have flattened him if you landed it and there's a knowledge between you, that can make a bond... or resentment. i never felt resentment, just respect, but then... i love guys and love when they do well.

i think i understand what you are saying, but "bat in your own league" doesn't seem well thought out to me, kind of reflexive. i think any guy who would say "bat in your league" in their profile is being presumptuous. It's a preemptive strike, but it assumes there is a universal standard out there that puts us all into a "league" of some sort and that everyone can be aware of their 'league' prior to approaching someone. That's just not true. i've had guys hit on me that i thought were way out of my 'league,' and i didn't reject their bat because of how i felt. i think guys who are too obtuse to take "no" for an answer are just not respectful of other people, i don't think it has anything to do with what 'league' they are in.

"Researchers have detected COVID-19 viral RNA and live virus in specimens other than nose-throat swabs and sputum samples, raising the possibility that the disease may spread through additional routes.... The findings imply that the coronavirus may be transmitted through feces and invade the circulatory system, the researchers said. "A small percentage of blood samples had positive PCR test results, suggesting that infection sometimes may be systemic," they wrote. "Transmission of the virus by respiratory and extrarespiratory routes may help explain the rapid spread of disease." [think before following links] http://www.cidrap.umn.edu/news-perspective/2020/03/study-covid-19-may-spread-several-different-ways

"Bat in your league" As i see it, egocentricity is where ethnocentricity derives from. These guys assume they're a part of a league that is defined by them based on their individual bias or want. my guess is they haven't gotten together and actually formed a league, just a bunch of individual guys with balls and bats all making up their own rules on who gets to play.

i know there are no universal rules about this, but this is how i am. my favorite position is lying on my stomach under my Top. ( i'll happily move into what ever position He wants as we fuck, except me on Top of Him. For me, that is just too much like topping, even if i am the one being penetrated). But, lying on my stomach feels best to me because i feel most physically and emotionally subdued/controlled that way. And for me, that's a big part of fucking, the Top's desire to penetrate and leave a part of Himself in a bottom. i see it as He is the creator, the artist, and i'm submitting to His creative energy. As a bottom, i'm His receptor (and want to be). i can't say i never move, but my movement is a result of His influence on me, not something i am doing independently. i almost always moan, sometimes whimper, but i will literally fight any urge that isn't submissive... He is subduing me. Not unusual for me to bite my mattress while being fucked, my head my flail, but my ass remains in position and submissive. Some Tops kiss my neck or ear and that has the effect of making my back arch and my ass push into Him, but again, that is a button He is pushing (whether knowingly or not), and i cannot help the response.

Polyamory makes sense to me, especially when someone is bisexual, but in general too. For those who are more relationship oriented, but who do not buy into the notion that one person can meet all the needs or wants of another, it's a way of having dedicated relationship vs just hooking up. I don't think it's easy to pull off going against the cultural norm, an adventure of sorts, but i applaud those making the effort to be true to their selves vs trying to fit into what someone else has dictated 'should be.'

Tough stuff to deal with. i wouldn't presume to tell you what to do, but since you are looking for feedback, i'll share my thoughts and feelings for what they may be worth to you and the discussion. i have come to believe that love is not enough of a foundation on which to build a lasting relationship. i see love as part practical, i.e., a conscious decision to consider another person, know and understand them and affirm their value. That sounds way more clinical than i find it is in practice. i think the need for love (as defined) is universal. The other part of 'love' is sort of mysterious to me, attraction that we cannot always put our finger on and i'm not sure it actually qualifies as "love" or is more an expression of wanting than giving? Still, so many (romantic) relationships seem to evolve because of this thing we call "love." To me, love is largely a choice... at least the practical side i mention above. Another component of romantic relationship, that i think gets little cognitive awareness, is compatability. With guys, i think sexual compatibility is a big fucking deal (pun intended). i know this is an over simplification, but physics demonstrates that opposites attract and form bonds (i.e., negatively ions attract to positive ions). i think consideration of human nature has extended that (reality?) to relationship. E.g., the idea of yin/yang is ancient. i believe that a successful relationship requires self awareness. But self awareness is not just a product of introspection. If our self knowledge depended on our view of our selves, we'd all be deluded crazies lol, give stuff like subjectivity, cultural influence, etc.. That is to say, another way we obtain self knowledge is in relationship with others, that we also can see ourselves in that reflection of relationship. One of the funny things that occurs in a dedicated relationship is, once you live together your mate will eventually point out things about you that you were unaware of, and vice versa. And, of course, that is not always an accurate reflection, no ones 'mirror' (so to speak) is flawless. i think the fact that we learn and change (and hopefully grow) in relationship, points to the fact that we, and consequently our relationships, are fluid... not static. They change. You note that: " I have desires that were never filled while I was single and honestly I really want to experience them." It seems like this is something you have become aware of over the course of time, so it's not like you entered a relationship knowing that you want/need to bottom. From what i have seen, when relationship encounters incompatibility like this it goes (generally) one of two ways: the parameters of the relationship changes along with the participants, or the relationship (as it is) ends. Which to me, is really the same thing. As a side note, i think it's possible to "really, really love" someone in an open relationship. i believe love is an affirmation of who that person is, not who they should be. i think jealousy is a product of failed expectation, and that it's the opposite of love. You guys have 7 sweet years invested in each other, i'd suggest relationship counseling as a means of clarifying and, hopefully, preserving your love for each other whether the relationship stays the same or not.

i love the idea of this.

i think You are right, i could have stated the need for "relationship" more clearly rather than making it implicit. i'm pretty convinced that any significant D/s interaction requires the trust that can only come from communication, and i love the "empathic" almost "telepathic" link that can be had. i think you state it perfectly and love how You get the distinction between Dom/Top and a "psycho." i think intent changes the energy, approach and effect of the act.

i think it's a fascinating dynamic. For me, it has to do with the Tops desire/need for power and control and the corresponding/complimentary need/desire of a bottom to submit to power and control. There's also the factor of effect. As a bottom, i love the idea of being affected by a Top. For me, the 'effect' is a way of Him putting His 'mark' on me or His presence in me. For me, stealthing (not pozzing) can be an expression of deep understanding and connection. I.e., the Top 'knows' what the bottom needs and wants naturally. One of the best sexual connections of my life was when a Top stealth pissed inside of me. It wasn't a matter of Him just taking what He wanted, it was much more complex. He figured out that i'd love it and gave it to me as a sort of surprise gift vs a forced act. I think it's tricky and risky (it can instead be presumptuous instead of "knowledge") for the Top, that it can show a deep courage and awesome effort to connect by getting to know a bottom well enough to be able to 'know' their needs and wants and through that intimate knowledge enjoy power and control in that bottoms life.

We don't disagree as far as i can see here. i don't mean to imply there is no such thing as sexual addiction, just noting there is a cultural niche that views being gay as sex addiction, equating being gay with alcoholism. As to the OP's opening question: "is sexual addiction natural?" It seems to me that sex addiction is a natural phenomena, but "natural" does not make sex addiction healthy or universal.

The term "sexual addiction" was made popular by religious organizations who use sex to control people. The religious de-gaying organizations that popped up during the 70's and 80's referred to being gay as sexual addiction, many equated being gay to alcoholism. The truth is, just about anything can become an addiction. Far more people are harmed by junk food addiction in our society than sex, but pizza and chips don't have a major cultural stigma attached to them like sex does... and particularly non heteronormative sex. Thankfully, that is changing, but we still have a VP in this country who would toss gay people in jail if he had the opportunity.

i always looked much younger than my age till i hit 50, about 10-15 years younger. i was tall and skinny with a boyish face... and pretty much have always been a bottom. On the flip side, boyish or cute Tops are a hot mind fuck for me and i love mind fuck. i'm not particularly attracted to cross dressing or 'she-males,' but have a long held fantasy of being bred by a she-male who is all Top. Again, for me there's a very hot mind fuck dimension to being topped by a guy who doesn't fit the stereotype as a top. i love breaking away from stereotypes. To me the most powerful Tops are those who do not rely on being rough or forceful, who are so confident and Top that they don't need it. i know that's just a personal wiring thing with me, any hint of force or bullying is a turn off for me, but a Top who knows i want and need to open to Him and realizes He already has the key and doesn't have to break the door down... that's ownership for me.

i've had a Top fall asleep on top of me before...i thought it was kinda sweet and hot at the same time, he was obviously pretty happy in there. After awhile he got kinda heavy though. i have a similar fantasy of having the kind of connection with a guy that He can slip in any time during the night when He needs to cum or piss, doesn't matter if i'm awake or asleep. To me, the idea of waking up whenever He slips inside is awesome.

"Bareback: the new routine way of having sex?" i don't think bareback is "the new routine way of having sex," but that sex is returning to normal and natural? I.e., the "routine" isn't "new." my feel has always been that Tops, or guys topping, have the need/desire to leave a part of their self, their effect, in someone as part of their drive to Top? As a bottom, i have a need/drive to have a part of my Top in me it seems as a permanent marker, effect, impartation? Condoms block a part of that process, they are unnatural, so i think we all feel something vital missing with condoms, like sex is incomplete. i think the return to bareback is the return to normal.

i love a Man with a PA. and love that you wear one that You like to use it as a part of your cock and penetrating a guy to stretch "a hole good." i'm not masochistic though and don't relate at all to receiving physical injury as part of sex. i'm not into guys who want to physically harm me. Those spikes would tear the insides up and i wanna preserve my hole for future and repeated use. For me, finding piercings that you can wear and employ during sex are the hottest. If they are just accoutrements to look at, they make me kind of wistful and sad, like being all dressed up with no place to go.

i've thought of this... and tried it with men in general. But where to you meet gay guys in a non sexual setting? There aren't a lot of gay venues that are non sexual? i've tried churches that are gay, but that can really be weird... i escaped a religious background, so there's a lot of trappings that i have a low tolerance for.

Wow, i think you have some great insights here. i think we all have baggage, that it's often an apt analogy that can cover a lot of travel. Some have unpacked and travel light, some just keep adding pieces of luggage. Some forget what they have packed, some have baggage packed by others... it's an analogy one can run with. i think "damaged personalites" is a good distinction, though it sounds kind of like a permanent condition to me, and i hate to think of anyone who is beyond hope or change (not saying you are saying this, just how the term strikes me). i like your point though, and it seems the guys you describe are part of the gay and straight world. One of my fears when a younger guy shows interest in me is i don't want him to feel fetishized. i would literally be embarrassed to be in a relationship where the other was considered or felt in any way like a trophy or bimbo. i find the idea of both repellant. i don't even approach younger guys for fear they might see me as just interested in their youth, which is so far from the truth. i prize maturity and depth more than anything in a relationship, and that often seems to drive both young and old away. When a anyone approaches me, i am often overly cautious trying to understand why they are interested. More often than not, that is interpreted as insecurity, or evokes insecurity, when it is really an attempt to get at what is there and discover if there is compatibility. Yet older guys wanting younger seems common enough to be a thing? i'm honest about my age, so i cannot go to a hook up site, or dating site anymore, without getting numerous guys hitting me up with exactly this (i.e., presenting as a 'bimbo' or 'trophy' right up front). It's a formulaic approach telling me how they are "looking for the love of their life, explaining how sincere and real they are" while their profile is empty and their profile pic is usually young and drop dead gorgeous. But there is obviously a market of shallow guys out there who want this. It makes it harder for real guys, both younger and older, to find each other, it muddies the waters. It bothers the hell out of me and is probably the number one reason for me 'giving up' on trying for relationship. i've found more of what i look for in relationship on BZ than anywhere else. Funny, eh? But there is a great core group of honest, open and articulate guys here that give me hope. It's not a dating or hook up site, so maybe that's why it's easier to find the elements of relationship here that seem to be missing on hookup or dating sites?