tallslenderguy

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"For me it’s the totality of each individual man that attracts [or not], so the size type of cock is part of the total package and I’ll adapt accordingly to the top." me too. Toys, in and of themselves (i.e., disconnected from their user) do little for me-they leave me wanting (the Top attached to it). i won't repeat your description of "depth" and the why's behind your "like;" for me, that sums it up nicely. The size and depth is connect to the intent of the Top for me. Is it His intent to mold and open my hole with progressively girthier penetration? i love Him. Is HIs desire and intent to effect me deeper? Oh fuck, i love Him. It's my Tops need/desire to effect me that gives the power to what He uses to accomplish that.

i want to clarify that i don't want to pretend some sort of moral supeirority here. The question is: "Is stealthing morally okay?" ErosWired commented: "I would like to believe they’re not all sociopaths, but rather, haven’t thought it through, or don’t realize that most of their peers here consider it an especially dick move. I’d like to think that such guys might be willing to rethink their stand on stealthing - and their intent to stealth in future - based on our community discussion here. " i think Eros is right. i confess there have been a few times (three that i can remember) where a guy has offered me his cock through a GH with a condom on it and i have purposely sucked it (something i would never do) just so i could try and bite a hole in the condom. my intent has never been to poz anyone (i'm undetectable). my sole intent was to get his cum inside of me. Even still, i've stopped doing that. i think it's wrong, a violation of his will. Instead, i just tell them i don't do condoms and if they refuse, that's their prerogative. i've decided i'd rather go without than to violate someone else will. It doesn't change me and what i like. i still want every guy to fuck me and inseminate me, but not at the cost of violating His will. And i think that's a good social standard. i don't have a chaser or gifted fetish, but i do understand having fetishes, i've got plenty of them. To me, "morality" draws a line at violating another persons wishes or volition. That can get murky in a world of D/s, but not impossibly so, so that's where i land on this. i love this group and love that we can have these discussions. i don't feel morally superior to anyone.

i get your feelings, but i don't think anyone can unequivicolly draw the conclusion that "these are not two people who want their consent to be respected." There's so much we don't know about this. E.g, was the Top poz and wanting to try and poz the bottom or did He just not want to wear a condom? The bottom put a condom on the Tops cock before offering his ass. There are lots of people who engage in anonymous glory hole sex for a variety of reasons, one is being DL. To me, the bottom putting a condom on the cock of the Top sent a pretty clear message that he wanted to be fucked through the GH by a Top with a condom on. i think it's naive, but i don't think the bottom is necessarily asking for his consent to be disrespected. It can be hard for some of us (me) who are experienced sluts to understand a shy guy who insists on condoms at a place like an ABS, or any place for that matter, but they do exist. i think what is generally in question here is whether it's moral to cum in a guy against his consent or expressed wishes. i'd say no. i think it's immoral to violate another persons volition no matter how 'stupid' one may think that person is. And really, isn't the primary point behind stealth (i,e., purposely trying to poz a bottom against their will) to lie and deceive the bottom? There are apparently plenty of bottoms willing to take raw loads no questions asked, it's not like open asses are in short supply. Stealthing as we're talking about it here is about purposeful deceit and harm.

There are lots of width toys out there from what i have seen, which has a hotness all it's own for me. i love the idea of a Top purposely opening my hole, especially subtly over time... one of my kinks lol. Admittedly, this is a different twist, seems really focused more on depth... and snakes have been around for some time, but what pushes my buttons with this is not just the length, but the more obvious goal of retention with the knot? The idea of a Top placing one deep inside me for training, then leaving it there is fucking hot to me.

i'm not much for using toys on myself, but this looks like an awesome type of butt plug for a Top to insert into His bottom. Damn, i love the mind fuck of such deep penetration and the idea that it looks sort of constructed like a plug where it could be worn long term of even with a chastity belt? Anyone have experience? i have snakes, but this is different. Also looking around, these are ridiculously over priced. [think before following links] https://www.squarepegtoys.com/shop/slink/

i think this is a rarely discussed point. If one wants HAART, having HIV makes one dependent on the/a healthcare system. i get patients in hospital who show up and have no med list and haven't been to a doctor in years, often decades. That's not going to be the case for someone with HIV getting treatment so it will not progress to AID's. HIV infected people getting treatment have to go for regular blood work and have to be around a pharmacy that provides the meds, with a mechanism in place to pay for it all. If you are dependent on government programs, you take what they provide, even if better options may be available, they're generally going for cheaper. You may have to work a job for the insurance to pay for meds. One cannot be foot lose and fancy free with HIV.

i don't have a poz fetish, the risk of disease and dying from AID's doesn't excite me. Fewer people are getting AID's because of the efficacy of HAART. As a result, we are discovering that HIV can effect other disease processes (e.g., heart disease, vascular disease, liver disease, kidney disease). The focus has been on AID's and the devastation of the immune system. i wish i could find newer research, but there's some good info in this article that identifies other health issues of HIV other than AID's.

love you and i don't think you're naive. i applaud your efforts and, between you and me, i let strangers push their penis into my asshole too.

i love your creativity. i have a hard time disengaging my mind and emotions from sex, and i love 'mind fuck.' my particular bottom/sub disposition is that a Tops piss is very similar to HIs cum, that He uses it to inseminate and impregnate. i look at Him inserting a catheter as another way He penetrates me and i see all sorts of ways a Top can penetrate His bottom, physically and psychologically. So i imagine Him doing the insertion and then purposely draining my urine and treating it as unimportant, because it's a bottoms urine and impotent (lol, i know, but i love the matter of fact attitude of it). His point of emptying me is to replace my urine with His piss, to puriposely penetrate me for inemination with His piss. my bladder is another receptical for Him and what comes from His body and my urethra is like a penis pussy for Him to penetrate/fuck. Of course, ideally i find a Top who just thinks this way and has these kinds of attitudes that come up with these sorts of ideas. Again, i don't imagine Him doing this in a mean way, but a lusty, almost need way, that He has to put Himself into a bottom boy where He belongs and a bottom is made for Him and His needs and wants, made to receive and hold Him.

Thanks for saying something about what bottoms go through for Tops in order to get clean. For me, it's worth it, but a lot of Tops are clueless when they contact a bottom and want instant access... takes time lol. This topic has been discussed a lot here, as well as Pure and chia seeds, we have discussed he hell out of clean out. A quick search will net you a ton of information 😉here's a couple to get you started:

This makes me think of cigarettes and how smoking was socially stigmatized. Stigmatization was a definite part of reducing the number of people who smoke. It's not a complete comparison, because smoking was glamorized and promoted in the media and the tobacco industry for decades. Smoking was a mainstream norm where stealthing remains a sub sub sub cultural practice. i imagine a group of guys who fantasize about stealthing, but would never do it because they do not deem it "morally okay." i think what we are left with are a very small group of guys who would stealth (i.e., purposely try and infect another with HIV without their knowledge or permission) regardless of the moral wrongness of what they are doing. i think there will always be sociopaths, so i don't think stealthing will ever "cease," though i think we can further reduce the practice? i don't think it's right or morally acceptable, and i accept the idea of stigmatizing the actual practice of stealthing (which is just calling it what it is). i do think it's unrealistic to expect we will ever be safe by controlling people who would ignore our right to choose. i'm grateful for PrEP and ART and glad i can make choices that can protect me against such people.

i just finished binge watching "Daybreak" on Netflix. What i saw is indeed a new series, not a 'movie"? i suspect there will be seasons to follow, google says so. I googled and see there was a 1993 movie, as you describe (haven't seen it), but i don't think this series is related or a remake. There is a gay couple, but i missed any reference to "becoming positive for love?" (not saying it wasn't there, but if it was, i missed it). It's a comedy-drama, satire, and the premise of the series is nuclear/biological warfare happens and all of the adults are altered, animals mutate and teens rule the world (well, Glendale CA anyway). It struck me as a sort of Lord of the Flies like in places. i confess i liked it, but at the same time have my ongoing concern that white guys in their 40's are doing most of the creating and producing, i.e., writing the scripts for everyone else-including teens. i continue to wonder how much modern media has effected social development? Kids watch this stuff and emulate attitudes, etc.. If kids wrote their own parts, they'd be different, as would womens parts, gays, people of color, etc., etc., etc.. i always check who the writers and producers are on stuff, it's amazing how much is middle aged white guys. Not saying "middle aged white guys" is bad, but it's curious to me how much is written and produced portraying everyone else without necessarily having their perspective. Now to contradict myself, there's some pretty fun social stances/norms being challenged in the series... i liked it.

For me, reality should always involve consent and the free exercise of volition of all parties concerned. i realize my "gray" areas do not provide permission to go against that standard. i don't think any one can or should decide what is or is not "harmful" for another person who has all their faculties about them. To me, "consent" is the submissive part of D/s. i don't think it's really D/s if something is just taken, it's just D without the s.

i would have had exactly the opposite response, i would have loved Him for it, but that is wholly irrational and i know it. i know that my desire is not universal, so neither can a Top assume it's okeedokee. It's an emotional response on my part because i associate a Mans piss as an inseminating part of Him, but that's individual and He has no way of knowing that without prior exchange. Part of me wants to feel that it's okay if it's not harmful, but i know that is not true because one Mans pleasure is another mans poison. i suspect that for me it's a desire to be known in some magical way that doesn't require communication... i.e., the Top 'knows' what i need without asking. i see this emotional response on both sides (Top and bottom), where a Top will sometimes say: "you know you want it." i think there is something in many of us that wants there to be that kind of perception, understanding, but it's magical thinking. i think the type of experimentation where the Top presumes to 'know' what the bottom needs is more reasonable in relationship vs anonymous encounters, where there is agreement ahead of time that such experimentation is wanted on both sides?

When we first started discussing this topic, i saw "stealthing" as a Top unloading in a bottom without their knowledge. i saw the intent was to breed, not infect. To me, the word didn't always mean "theft," but the more i think about it, it may? What is always 'taken' is the other persons knowledge? i think of the stealth aircraft that doesn't always drop bombs, but the intent is to occupy a space without being seen, so in a way, that takes a persons sense of seeing (and thus, knowing) from them? i agree with the conclusion: "...the theft of another person's right to refuse, and the possible theft of his health [is] wrong 100% of the time, in every circumstance." With acceptance of that conclusion, i had to examine and clarify some of my own disposition (which i would guess is similar to others). There is something in my emotional nature that wants a Top to 'use' me without asking my permission. i've had long held fantasies of a Top who i sleep with and any time He needs to cum or piss, He just slides inside of me, even if i'm asleep. But the truth is, that would always involve my permission, thus knowledge, so it's not theft... though it seems to have an element of 'stealth' to me. It's the element of stealth that pushes some button inside of me. i have another totally impractical fantasy about waking up to find a man has His hand inside of me. Of course, it would probably be impossible for Him to get there without waking me, but the idea of it is an ongoing fantasy. But when i consider those fantasies, they all really involve consent, just not consent at the time it happens. When i look at it, all my fantasies involve prior knowledge and consent, it's not rape (which the thought of has no emotional appeal to me) That all seems pretty clear cut. A gray area for me is when i do anonymous sex at ABS or sex club, etc.. i always hope that a Top won't just stop with breeding me, but will also piss inside of me. For me, that loses something if He has to ask ahead of time. Not everyone wants piss in their ass, so it's not as though permission is implied. Even though it's not rationally "gray," for me it is emotionally. There is an irrational assumption on my part that the Top is caring and has no malicious intent. So it's a fantasy on my part to think that i'll get what i want/need in an anonymous hook up that involves no real discussion. It's like a sort of roulette, hoping i will win, i expose myself to loss as well, but i expect that there will be no cheaters at the casino. Rambling.

If all wore blind folds, would any be able to tell the difference between skin colors? This is a visual stimulation that excites some notion of attraction, what's the notion?

Do you understand why and can you explain it? i cannot imagine using that term in my wildest imagination. Of course, i'm sub bottom, so i may not even possess that kind of imagination lol. To me, using a racial slur is hurtful and destructive (to say the least), and i don't perceive Domination as hurtful, but deeply affectionate.

me too. my hole actually feels good after multiple cocks and loads. If i have any stray varicosities, fucking seems to take care of them, not exacerbate them. i do use lube initially and usually the cum keeps my hole wet and slippery after the initial couple of cocks. The most noteworthy thing i get is swollen, but that feels good to me, no sore. as an aside, i've also noticed my lips get swollen when i've been sucking cock a lot.

Wow, this is pretty much verbatim what i was thinking. If you gave me a glass of cum, i might gag at the thought of drinking it (though i'd put every drop in my ass, even if it's out of random, found condoms). But taking cum from a mans cock in my mouth and down my throat makes my eyes roll back in my head, not because of the taste, but because i have His essence in my mouth and, oh fuck that is just amazing.

i 've never been fucked by one of my teachers (as far as i know), but i had a German teacher who may have wanted to. i liked him. He was friendly and kind and sort of flirty. He was shorter and slender. One day while going into class, he held the door open for me and as i walked in, he swatted my ass. He was big in the Mormon church across the street, married, kids, but young. i saw him coming out of a store restroom once and suspected he'd been cruising, no reason, probably wishful thinking on my part. At that point in my life i was a horny virgin and only fantasized about being with guys (all the time), and was too religious to pursue it, but i can still feel his hand on my ass. sigh

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^^^THIS^^^ Thanks, well written!! Couple of add on comments. i think you raise one of the more important factors contributing to STI's and their increase: the social stigma of having one. We are still plagued by social norms and Victorian era residue that makes sex dirty and the resultant possible STI an "embarrassment." More people die from the flu than from these STi's, but straights haven't stopped kissing, though it's a great way to transmit the flu. If one year we tested and treated the entire population of sexually active people anonymously, we could make a serious dent in STI's. It's so easy to test, you don't really need a health clinic, just go to a lab that does the testing and if you are positive for something, take the results to a care provider and get the appropriate treatment. Most labs do walk ins.

Hmm. Which club was it? Steam or Hawks? i live in Albany OR and sometimes venture up to Pdx to go to a ABS or Hawks. i like the idea of a sex club like Hawks or Steam, but if i am being completely honest, my experiences of getting fucked at a sex club have been fair at best. i have a lot more success at ABS's. my feel at sex clubs is that Tops in particular are probably wanting to get their monies worth by not cumming right away. It may be flattery that they didn't slide in because your ass is so hot that they couldn't tempt fate by even going in because they would have cum and weren't ready yet? Idk. The last couple of times i have been to Hawks, my ass barely got any attention at all and just went around sucking guys. my feel has been that Tops there are holding out for the hottest, young piece of ass to fuck and unload in, so i have just stopped going. Funny, i typically get a lot of cock at the local ABS's, and that's usually in a short period of time. it's not as nice as the sex clubs where you can get a room and there are couches and benches and slings. i usually take cock through a GH or in a cramped little booth, but i usually get between 5-10 cocks and loads in a fairly short period of time. If i want the different atmosphere of a sex club, i got to Palm Springs a couple of times a year, always a good time there and it's only a 2 hour direct flight from Pdx.

i've had a lot of cocks and i cannot remember ever jacking while getting fucked... i have pushed more than a few Tops hands away from jacking me while getting fucked... though i haven't had to do that for a few years now because i pretty much go with total Tops who have no interest in my penis. i've only cum a few times from getting fucked, it was the best. i suspect i'd be 'happiest' locked, but not self locked, relationally locked. Locking myself is sort of like trying to fuck myself, doesn't work for me, a bottom trying to top. There's so much mental and emotional connection for me that so many Tops never read or tap into. For me, owning my orgasm is one of the better fucks a Top can give. The deep connection for me happens when He orgasms inside of me, it's like His orgasm becomes mine once it's released from His body and soul into mine. Touching myself, making myself cum interfere with that. There are ways a Top can touch my penis and make me cum that don't violate that, a 'ruined orgasm' can be amazing, or other times i've had a Top find ways to control my orgasm and make it HIs... and as a bottom, it seems that's what i want/need, His pleasure transferred to me through all the methods that can happen. There is something enormously erotic and appealing about your solution of a Top taking "perverse pleasure in his discomfort, in essence, make it part of the scene to "teach him a lesson"" that taps into this....