tallslenderguy

my previous thoughts were thinking out loud, not absolutes, just thoughts. Thinking more about it... i was married for half my life, most of my adult life, to a woman. We had sex, lots of it. i'd be lying if i said i didn't like it, but i still identify as "gay." So, maybe i'm off on my analysis of what constitutes "gay, straight and bi"? When i divorced, i thought i might be bi, because hell, i'd functioned well enough sexually with a woman for most o fly life. Before i married, my sexual attraction was pretty strictly towards guys, but it wasn't an option in my religiously conditioned brain and emotions. i did date a few women who i considered attractive, but when it came to sex, it was a no go for me. i didn't want it. i consider my marriage as sort of like straight guys who go to prison and have a romance with a guy, it's all that is available. For me, my "prison" was my beliefs that being gay was wrong. Once i processed through that, turns out, i'm gay lol. i even dated a trans person (FtM) and though i totally cognitively accepted this person was the guy he identified as, there was just something personality wise that reminded me of a woman and that turned me off sexually. i've had prolly a couple of thousand guys, but only ever had one woman, so i guess i do qualify as gay, but i did "try" sex with my former wife a lot more than once lol, so it may be that a straight guy can indeed have multiple sex encounters with a guy? idk. what's the attraction then and what qualifies him as still being straight and not bi?

i think this can be a hard one to nail down with a simple lable like "gay" or "straight." If we're being strict about the meaning of words, if a guy practices sex with males and females, he's bisexual. If he's "never had a boy before" he might be gay, straight or bi and still figuring it out. If you're his first boy, it's a 50/50 chance of which way it will go. If He likes it and wants to do it again, he's at least bisexual. If He decides, whoa, wtf, this is what i have been missing my whole life, he may be gay. If He tries you and just can't finish, or decides after that it was "meh" or even "gross," chances are he's straight. Honestly, i think the latter is gonna be pretty rare to get as far as penetration and unload if there is no attraction at all? It doesn't make any sense that He's gonna be able to get it up and slide it in without being turned on? i'd guess that you are looking for specific traits in a guy that you associate with being straight? Because by strict definition of terms, once He's fucked you the second time, he's no longer straight lol. The first time can be chalked up to giving it a try, but really, i just don't see a straight guy doing it more than once and keeping the title "straight?" what he said

Wow, this is a fascinating thread. It seems to me anyone in this situation should go for couples counseling to figure out the why's behind it and in order to determine a course of action. i don't think it's a healthy relationship, but all that has pretty much been said. What did strike me is that the rule of monogamy would be invoked. I don't think "monogamy" applies in a relationship that has no sex, that's a platonic relationship.

Guys like sex, you'll always be able to get some. i don't believe it's a question of age, even though that's a factor for some. There are many factors that influence getting sex, among them are looks, age, population, environment to list a few. One of the bigger impediments that i find is not just the Tops list of qualifications, but the bottoms. I.e., do you have them? From what you have said, you do. For instance "condoms used for anal" is a deal breaker for 99% of the guys on this site. Your profile says you are looking for "muscled," so for many reading that, that would leave them out. We have little control over another guys qualifications, but we do have some. But we have complete control over our own qualifications. The more you have, the less sex you will get.

lol, yeah that happens, eh? When i go to the gay resorts in Palm Springs i sometimes encounter a stubborn shower head, all the resorts were made in the 50's it seems, and some of the original plumbing is in place. i've always had success, so i'm guessing the hard to budge shower heads are the exception? i doubt they are permanently afixed, prolly just rust or a really tight hole.

I’m a little different with this, I’m pretty sub and the way I’m wired, I get off most on doing what my Top likes. I like the way I feel in panties on all sorts of levels, but what makes it work for me is if my Top asks or wants me to wear them. I associate stuff like that with a Tops desires, so as much as I may like wearing them, doing so independently feels like topping myself. My own individual twist I guess

I travel with a shower hose attachment, pliers and a shower shot. The hotel graciously provides the shower. It’s a 5 minute job to take the existing shower head off and substitute your attachment, then replace before you leave. If you’re staying a few days, you need to remember to switch it out before maid service ( unless your maid is a hot guy).

Okay, waking this thread back up, and got distracted ^^^ i did a search on here for "waxing" and this seemed to be the most recent thread with some discussion on the topic. i have a naturally hairy ass, and as mentioned earlier in the discussion, i go back and forth about hair removal. Personally, i get really turned on by hairless, smooth, on me and other guys... especially the ass. But, as also noted, i'm more concerned about what my Top likes, but not reopening this to try and figure all that out. Waxing. i bought a wax pot on Amazon, got the French wax, etc.., and have tried it a couple of times after watching some youtube how to vids lol (i love youtube, you can find "how to" anything there). Turns out waxing yourself is pretty challenging. So is shaving, and i have a yoga background. i do like the results better, no prickly stubble to worry about or razor rash or ingrown hair... but i haven't figured out how to do it without having to go over and over and over a place to get all the hair? Anyone else do it yourself? Please share your methods and discoveries?

"loved" this pic in the reaction section when i first saw it, but seriously, you deserve some sort of award or trophy for having one of the worlds most beautiful holes. i'm pretty much a total bottom, but i'd breed that... if i didn't die of excitement first.

i'm one of those guys that vets my hook ups. Yes, i confess, i'm one of those who will do lots of back and forth emails. i'm trying to do two things: one, i mentioned earlier in this discussion, i'm trying to connect emotionally and mentally with the guy. Two, i'm trying to make sure he's a Top. i've even taken to explaining in some of my profiles that i love bottom and versatile guys, but they won't work chemistry wise when it comes to sex. i push pretty hard and directly in the pre-hookup discussion to make sure this guy wants nothing to do with my penis. Still, some guys don't read profiles?!? and a few slip through, no matter how clear you are, As to "picky," that can be a two edged sword. i don't have a lot of regrets, i'm pretty at peace about my life. But, i do wish i had learned at an earlier age what i know now, and that is that fucking is about a lot more than i realized when younger, that it's not just about the body or looks. Sure, those are factors, but i put much less weight on them now. i've had some awesome sex with guys i never would have dreamed of spreading my legs for when i was younger. i seriously do not have a huge problem finding Tops, it's still work, but my only qualifiers are they want to fuck (or be sucked) and they are able to do so. That's it. If they can get it up and get it in, they qualify. So to bottoms who have a hard time finding Tops i'd ask: "will you take any guy with a functional cock?"

i discovered i had a pussy at a very young age, 7 or 8, way before i discovered my penis sexually. A neighbor boy, who i had i crush on, took me inside His house one day and showed me and enema nozzle and explained in gleeful detail what it was used for. Cognitively, i knew nothing about sex or being gay at that age, but emotionally, He was probably the first dom in my life. And looking back, i can see how He had a dom nature, even though immature, and i had a sub nature, also immature and we just naturally attracted to each other. As soon as i got home, i found our enema and he nozzle and inserted it into my rectum associating it with him. After that, pretty much anything i could think of went into my hole. i had no idea what i was doing, but i was unknowingly training my hole to receive. i was religious and resisted having sex with a guy till i was 27, but by then i had a ton of experience taking it up the ass. i didn't own an actual dildo or plug till way later after i was divorced, but my hole was well trained by then. When i was in my twenties, before i had my first cock, i had one particular tool at work that i penetrated myself with. i worked at a high school as a maintenance person and my office was private, in a mechanical room with a large collection of tools. There was one solid metal tool, a pipe thread cutting tool , that was my favorite. The pic i linked is similar, but the newer ones are smaller than the one i had. There was more of a ball shape at the end that was about 2 inches in diameter. the shaft about and inch and a half across? It was solid stainless steal and i'd put the cutter side in a vice and then impale myself on the ball and shaft. I was probably more open than most guys when i took my first cock lol. i almost never use dildos now because emotionally it just feels to much like i am topping myself, but it's rare that i need one now to prep myself for cock. i estimate i've had between a thousand to two thousand cocks, my hole has a life time of conditioning to receive. Mind you, i'm not like some fisters who have size trained, i bow to them when it comes to gape, but as far as natural conditioning to take cock... i'm there. Every time i have to 'go' , i have a particular sense of urgency because my hole is no longer built to retain. i have to use my cock squeezing muscles to hold it in (good exercise lol). It's a daily reminder that i have a pussy for cock primarily and a hole for waste removal secondarily.

i've mentioned this before, but the sigmoid is my friend and enemy lol. i have to be very careful when cleaning out, take my time, rest between cleaning and use a dildo to try and get trapped water. Conversely, that part of my anatomy (we're all a little different down there) does retain piss too. i had an experience where a Top stealth pissed me on two separate occasions at and ABS through a GH. The first time, i figured out what He was doing, the second time, i didn't know that He had pissed in me and i took a couple of cocks after His. They both fucked and bred me without any piss leaking out. i am pretty practiced at holding in a Tops cum and have learned to ignore it if i have a sense of urgency after taking a load or loads and there is a natural pause mechanism in the body that will let you delay... but the sense of urgency kept coming back and i figured i had more than cum in me, so i evacuated, not expecting piss. When i saw it was piss, i was really disappointed the i hadn't held it in. Hold it in deep and long enough and your body will absorb it, which is awesome.

When a Top fucks me, i am generally lying on my stomach. i really love that position, it feels most subdued and powerless for me. Sometimes my Tops hands will wander up close to my face and sometimes i cannot resist taking His thumb into my mouth and sucking it. i have never had a Top pull away, and several have obviously gotten really turned on by it, a few have shot as a result of the added... stimulus? i'm not doing it for effect, it can just be wonderful to have Him in my mouth and hole at the same time, as long as He's happy.

There is no snark in this question. Isn't that a big part of the point? At least for some? i guess not for all, i honestly don't know. Last time i was in Palm Springs a really cute guy picked me up and wanted to spit in my mouth, i didn't want it, He was cool about it, not forceful or bullying, which is something i'd usually associate spitting with? He ended up putting some of His spit on His cock... He knew i'd suck His cock, so it was a way for Him to get me to eat His spit? i have no idea what He was thinking or feeling.

The line between need and want is often blurry for me. i don't have anywhere near a complete handle on the degradation thing. The few times guys have gotten rough with me, by emotional response was so automatic and palpable, that they all backed way down. Any sense of being bullied triggers me. i was bullied a lot as a kid, and looking back, i can see there were boys who were responding to my obvious signals of being sub. i learned to hide the obvious stuff and by age 14 no longer had a bully problem (comparatively, as younger, boys abused me physically and emotionally). It left a mark on me, as an adult i practiced martial arts for about 25 years, second degree black belt. i'd probably shock the hell out of some guy who didn't get the message, i'm afraid he might get the brunt of old rage, but prolly not, a non sexual mugger would though. i have experienced a form of degradation/humilation that was so deeply erotic that i can still feel it's effect years later from the memory. There was no bullying or meanness, indeed the power of it was in affection. i've written about it elsewhere on this site, but the Dom read me so well and knew exactly where my buttons were and how to push them, and He did. Before Him, i wasn't much of a cocksucker emotionally, i just loved to get bred. He changed that, not by taking anything away, but by adding ardent cocksucker to the list. He had me in an awkward position and His cock was so big (both long and girth) i was gagging (which i hate... well, hated before Him, now it's just an inconvenience), my eyes were streaming tears and my nose was running. i must have looked awful. He wanted me to look Him in the eyes, which was awkward as hell in the position i was in lying between His spread legs. He'd ask me questions while i had my mouth full, looking expectantly for an answer. He also kept talking continuously, He combined coaching me on how to suck Him, encouraging me: 'that's it, just a little deeper, around the curve." And when i would do it He'd exclaim: "Good boy!!" but utterly matter of factly, not like some good-ole-boy would, but exactly like He was talking to a young boy or a pet dog. He'd tell me how proud He was, and ask if i was proud of what i had accomplished... and i was. i was absolutely glowing with pride and at the same time, embarrassed at how i felt. In the end, i absolutely adored Him, and still do at the thought of Him. A few other's have found similar places in me and 'collared' me, but none as thoroughly as He did. i don't think He made me this way, i think He saw it and knew how to bring it out of hiding and to the surface, how to use it to get what He needed/wanted. Even with the humiliation of it, i wish for Him or someone in my life who took the same pleasure in exercising the same power.

While i'm grateful to be a guy and sex is as a gay guy is comparatively easy to get (compared to straight), i do think we miss out if we ignore the emotional and mental side of sex. That's easy to do with hook up sex. For me, quality sex twice a week beats quantity sex every day. i don't think one can have that if their partner is only a hole or a cock to them. i've been fucked by a guys finger or a dildo and He was so connected to what He was doing, that i was thoroughly connecting with Him. i always try to engage a guys mind and emotions before i even hook with him, but many guys don't want that. To me, once you've experienced mind fuck, there is no going back. For me, sex is all about connecting with another guy, the more we connect emotionally, mentally and physically , the better. To me, sex without the mental and emotional connection is getting close to sex with a condom.

This is me. i don't say much at all. it's not like i am holding back, i just don't want to be fake or say things to manipulate... that's just me, i know. i sometimes feel badly for the guy who wants me to 'talk dirty' and it just feels so put on to me, i sometimes wish it didn't. i love it when a Top says what's on His mind while fucking me, talking dirty is a turn on if it's real. i have no problem being open with a Top and sharing my kinks though, usually before we meet. On the other hand, some guys make me moan, some make me gasp, some make me whimper, or a combination of all. i often bite my mattress and writhe in pleasure. The one exception i mentioned earlier is sometimes a Top will fuck me in a way where i wanna say "i love you." And that is completely real, yet i just bite my mattress and contain it because i'm afraid He'll think i'm crazy and i'll turn Him off.

Life is not black and white, eh? i appreciate your sweet and considerate side, my guess is He's attracted to that too. Ass and cock are a lot easier to get than an emotional connection, even when that connection is complicated or tenuous. Deeper emotional connections come with more risk, but then, the rewards are greater too. Obviously, you are both getting something from this. As a 13 year old, i read "City of Night" by John Rechy. Books were my friends in an era and culture that considered my being gay as "broken, sick, sinful, etc.." His book was pretty racey and provocative for when it was written, but it was also honest and insightful. A novel about a guy who runs away, is a hustler and explores the conflicts between hustling and the emotional needs of the hustler. Figuring out what our wants and needs are is the process of living. Part of the process of learning who and how we are can involve introspection. Part of that process can be in relationship. i believe it's important to have a sort of balance. I.e., we cannot see ourselves clearly just employing introspection, nor can we see ourselves clearly just in the reflection we see of ourselves in the mirror of relationship (everyone's "mirror" is colored and bent, so we don't always get an objective reflection). i think you are doing a stellar job! You seem to be honestly asking questions, looking listening, reflecting, trying to see what is. That's living, and i applaud your embrace of life and that you are not doing so mindlessly, but trying to understand it all. Yay you!

God, i love You! i understand, but don't relate to guys like mikeboi1 or their Tops. And that's cool, i think it's wrong to try and conform to labels. i think labels and words exist to serve us, not the other way around. They're just a way of trying to communicate, but we have to listen to the person using the words, not just the words. And, thanks but no thanks for the allowance of "mancunt or manpussy." For me, those words are like two steps forward and three steps back. Ideally, i want a Top to 'have' as much of me as He can get, i don't want to "keep" anything... but that's where He has to have knowledge, confidence, skill, natural presence. i don't like pretend, especially when i know that it's possible to have the real thing.

"Degradation" holds a certain fascination for me. If it hits the right button in me, it can be extremely powerful and evoke a feeling of adoration in me. If it hits the wrong button, at best, i shut down. i'm not turned on by bullies and when a guy uses terms like "pussy" or "cunt" with a derogatory tone, an inner part of me becomes inaccessible to them. i don't associate with the words mysoginistically. But when a Top uses the same terms matter of factly or affectionately, it has the opposite effect. It can open and penetrate an inner emotional hole in me for Him to breed. For me, i think it has to do with the distinction He is making between He and i, that He is identifying me and my body as someone to be penetrated and receive Him into myself. For me, the word "asshole" is neutral or negative. i don't want the emphasis on it as a place where my body eliminates waste, but as the receptive part of me that it is. To me, that would be like calling a womans vagina a "blood hole " or something similar. Honestly though, i don't think there is a 'right 'or 'wrong' side to the terms generically, i think it's how they are used and how we are psychologically disposed to take them individually. E.g., if a Top only associates "pussy" with a woman, and He is turned off by women, i am not going to use the term "pussy" when conversing with Him, i'm going to look for His button/s that turn Him on as a Top because i want to turn Him on, make Him happy and be a source of pleasure for Him. Re degradation. This topic still holds some mystery for me. Conquering armies have practiced raping the defeated males as a means of asserting they've won and utterly defeating their foe. It also seems to exist in the animal world. Though there are animalistic parts of sex that appeal, i like being human and having a mind and emotions that can fuck too, so i don't want to just keep sex at an animal level. Re the "conquering" aspect? To me it's more powerful for the conquerer to look me in the eyes, take out His cock and knowingly say "you want and need this, bend over" than it is for Him to pretend to force something i know i already want and need. So, full circle. If a Top uses "pussy," etc., in a forceful, derogatory or mysoginistic way with me, part of it becomes pretend for me. If He uses it in a matter of fact way, He has me.

i've got a decent sized cock 7.5 on a good day, but with girth. Doesn't really matter since i'm no longer married and i'm bottom. When i was younger and comparatively inexperienced at getting fucked, there was a guy at a regular cruising spot who was enormous. The biggest cock i have ever encountered in person. i took him, but it was work. i'm guessing he had to be 11" and lots of girth, and i didn't take him with abandon, so i look back with disappoinment with myself. Now my hole has been changed and can take cocks as delivered... usually. There was one Guy who wasn't overly long, but the diameter was extraordinary. The first time, i took Him, but wasn't prepared mentally. Even though He came, i didn't feel like He had me totally. He would contact me fairly frequently and i had to overcome my fear, but honestly, i loved Him so that wasn't emotionally hard, just practically. Mostly it was about getting in, once relaxed, i'm okay, but He'd get in and start fucking before i would get relaxed. i learned to open my hole ahead of time so i could better aline with His timing. His cock was so big around that He'd always leave me in a puddle of my own prostate juices, He'd literally fuck it out of me. It was always hard work, but i came to love Him, His energy, so much that i couldn't refuse. i miss him, He's on the east coast and i on the west. i imagine if we still lived near each other, my hole would now be more fitting for Him. i wouldn't see that as a "wrecked" hole, but a fixed hole. my hole is a lot more fixed today than it was when i started out, so i want to think it's made (by Tops) to accommodate (hopefully) any cock.

i appreciate your honesty, you are who you are. It's rare in my experience, but you sound like a dom bottom, which i think is counter intuitive to most bottoms especially to those who have sub in their nature too. Personally i associate being bottom, penetrated and inseminated, with "sub." i used to be what i called a "cum dump," but that has changed for me. i've turned into a quality over quantity bottom, which is not to suggest that getting a quick load can't be a "quality" experience or to minimize the value of cum. Really, it's the opposite, i want both parties to value the connection, and cum can be a part of that. i get that we can quantify the connection between Top and bottom down to the end result of depositing cum, but i think we as humans can go beyond that. We have cognition and emotions that we can fuck with (i.e. sexually connect with) too. For me, being sub is not automatic, it's a response. For example, i was texting with a guy on Recon last night and at one point He said: "and it's "sir." I.e., He was telling me to use "sir" when addressing Him. i did. But my doing so didn't elevate Him to Dom for me emotionally or cognitively, it was surface. To me, submission is something i give, just like a Top or Dom is giving me His cock or cum, i am giving Him my body as a receptacle a place to temporarily put His cock and permanently leave His seed. Submission can be surface or run deep, but for me, that's dependent on the person i am with. my "submission" is, at least in part, a reflection of His dominance. If His dominance is 'shallow,' so is my submission. For me, the connection can involve so much more than cock, cum and ass. What i crave as a bottom/sub, is the energy and desire of a Top/Dom to penetrate, create, effect, influence, mold, modify, leave His mark, inseminate, impregnate... the descriptors can be endless. Conversely, i see the wiring of a Top/Dom as wanting/needing to do those things, to connect in that way with someone who needs and wants who they are and that part of their self they need and want to impart. For me, the best connections are balanced. One of the best connections i have ever had with a Guy we had awesome sex. Yet, i spent the week end with Him and didn't get one drop of actual semen from Him. But, He left such a deep physical, mental and emotional 'mark' on me, that i carry Him as a part of me a couple of years after we were together. He definitely fucked and seeded me. i think mechanical sex is still special, but it's the basest form of sex and can almost be disrespectful of the act. i think whatever form sex takes, the quality of it is effected by the presence and focus of both parties. i think we can fuck 'deeply' for 30 seconds or 30 minutes, that it's not about time.

Wow, just wow. His VP is openly anti gay. To me, you have to have some internalized homophobia to endorse someone who favors the religious over LGBQT. Favoritism is not equal rights. https://news.yahoo.com/2020-vision-trump-gets-surprise-log-cabin-republicans-endorsement-182340690.html?.tsrc=daily_mail&uh_test=1_02

Cool topic. Hmm, i count 3? #1, but i'd modify it to "stink in general." Honestly, if a cock comes through a GH, it's going into my mouth or hole, stink or not. my only exception to sucking it the smell of shit, but you can fuck me with any cock. For me, the worst "stink" is bad breath. As a bottom, i prefer my penis not get penetrative attention, but i've let a fellow cocksucker have it out of love and understanding for his need sometimes. The smell of sex is a whole different thing, please don't wash that off. Having said all that, i understand that some guys are highly turned on by different smells, so i qualify this is personal etiquette. #2. Double ditto on this one. It's a hole for a cock, not a camera. if you are concerned about looks, you're in the wrong place. #3. i confess i've changed over time on this one. i've evolved. When i was younger, i wasn't a hungry cock sucker, i was ideally a pussy for breeding, sucking was foreplay. Now, it's more about what the Top wants, and if He wants a bj only, i'm on it. The key word is "hungry." Usually, when i start in on sucking a cock, i get hungrier and hungrier, especially if i sense the pleasure of my Top. i can get kinda voracious and the wall becomes an impediment to me pleasuring the guy and getting every millimeter of His cock. i also love to cup and caress a Tops balls while sucking Him, and that isn't always possible with a GH, so sometimes i do want a guy to come into my booth when it gets intense. i so appreciate this, thank You for being a communicator. i do realize that some guys are not as tuned in when doing GH sex though, that may be why they are there. They may be shy or new and not have a clue. i try to sense the guy on the other side, but that is hit and miss, none of us read minds. i'd say about 85% of the guys i start with sucking get offered my ass. i confess i have become more bold about that. i don't think it's improper to just slide it into my ass without asking. i don't think it's any more accurate to assume a guy just wants a bj if he puts his cock through a GH than to assume he wants to breed. i think it's safe to assume he wants his cock pleasured. If a guy pulls back when i offer my ass, i honor that and resume sucking, but at least half the time, they stay in my ass and breed it. Some are obviously surprised, but when they stay, they obviously like it, even if it wasn't what they expected. Not fond of teasers. Guys who just tease you with their cock, but have no intention of giving it to you. The worst offense though is guys who pull out when they cum. Holy fuck, that is awful. To me that denigrates the whole act of connecting for both guys.

It's sort of shocking, no? Guys who communicate their displeasure by striking out physically? i encounter it fairly frequently as a critical care hospital nurse. It's usually guys, but some women strike out too. Maybe it's being in an environment where 'normal' social boundaries are not in place? Sort of like some internet forums or chats where some people feel free to be completely obnoxious? Not everyone is civilized. On another level, i know there are a lot of newbies who end up at a spa, i think for some guys it may turn into an overload situation and they may not have the experience to deal with all the new experiences they are encountering? He may have felt violated? Even though that is irrational, especially as you point out, in a "bathhouse." But emotional responses are often not thought out, they just happen. On the one hand, i know there are people who just haven't developed coping skills and react like a three year old. On the other hand, i can see normally rational people reacting like a crazy because the situation is foreign to them. The first guy will tell you why he's right, the second may feel shame at his response when he feels less 'threatened.'