tallslenderguy

i have a friend on this site who as been married to a Dom guy for several years, we've written back and forth a lot and shared the most intimate details of our lives with each other. Sometimes when he has told me about his ongoing relationship i consider writing back that i am "jealous" or "envious" of what he has, but i always trip over those words if i write them, and usually edit them out because they just are not accurate. i love my faggot friend and am happy for what he has, i'd be sad if he lost it and words like "jealous" or "envious" convey a desire to possess that i do not feel. I.e., i would love to have what he has, but not at his expense. i see competition among bottoms all the time; here where some subtly (and some not so subtly lol) assert things about their self they hope will be perceived qualities from a Top, will make them unique, stand apart from the pack. At sex clubs and ABS, i've experienced bottoms who will identify other bottoms, then go down the booth hallway and close the booths on either side of the bottom in an attempt to steer guys away from them and, i guess, toward them. Competition between bottoms pisses me off and my response is to usually to leave or take myself out of the picture rather than make connecting with another guy a competition. But i'd also like to be completely honest and clarify that's not because i see myself as some sort of unworthy receptacle. i don't. "Receptacle" yes, "unworthy" no. i think we (Top and bottom) all have varying/different value and that our value is realized in relationship, not conferred by it. To me, competition is me trying to force realization of my value, which to me seems a violation of autonomy. idk, that may be weird, but i really think and feel that way. flacogedor wrote in an earlier post: "Tops (Alphas, not just any guy with a dick) have a right to bottoms' asses, but bottoms don't have a right toTops' cum." i think that just like there is a difference between being Top and Alpha, there is also a difference between being bottom and sub and that a sub is not just any guy with a hole. The spectrum view of who and how we are makes sense to me. I.e., at one end of the spectrum are "Alpha" at the the other end "sub," then Top and bottom fit somewhere after those, versatile is somewhere in the middle, etc.. i see our position on the spectrum as somewhat fluid versus static, and more individual than generic. i do not see Alpha as selfish and sub as not. To me it's selfish is one wants it and the other doesn't. If both want it, i don't see it as selfish but good chemistry. It may just be a difference in how i define terms like "selfish," and "love." i see an Alpha as Dominant, but i don't equate a desire/need to Dominate as selfish. i think it's just as possible for a sub to be selfish as it is for a Dom, it just gets expressed differently, it's more subtle, hidden, because it has to be to maintain the illusion that he's submitting. A sub may bend over and take a cock, or lick a Dom's feet, do His laundry, ad infinitum, but if he is not submitting inside, i think there's something missing. To me, the challenge, and thrill, of D/s relationship (connection) is finding those keys and knowing which holes they fit in (so to speak lol). i see "love" as recognizing and acknowledging the value of the other. A Dom finds His value in Dominating, a sub finds his value in submitting, but both are finding their value in that and each can acknowledge that value in the other without compromising who they are. Neither can exist without the other, so i think independence is an illusion. i see a lot of what is called D/s relationship that strikes me as role play, i.e., it's a "play," a show of sorts, where both parties are acting a part. i don't think that either party is (usually) missing the basic ingredients for a real D/s relationship, but they miss out on "real" because they are afraid to be honest and find their way. That's something i love about the relationship my friend i mentioned earlier has. It's real and has been a process for each of them coming into and developing what is natural in them. i think that is easier said than done. It's so much easier to assume a role than to develop and become.

bit of necrophylia too

Oh yeah, glad you brought this up, i think it is related too. i've had this done to me on several occasions too. You are right, it is not quite the same. For me, when i take a Tops finger in my mouth, it's an expression of my desire to have Him inside of me, to pleasure Him. When He does it, i definitely feel dominated and degraded would be a good word to describe the way i feel too, especially depending on the attitude behind it. my sub side is not automatic, it has a key: desire. i pretty much cannot help a submissive response when i perceive lust/desire in my Top. Detached meanness or bullying can elicit an opposite response from me, can shut me down. It's hard for me to articulate the distinction, it's a fine line. i think it has to do with connection. For me, sex with a Man is about connecting to Him on as many levels and as deeply can be. For me, domination takes skill and finese, it's not a clumsy, mindless act.

As a bottom, i love the idea of stealthing, it is a huge turn on. For me, it has nothing to do with chasing (to late for that anyway). For me there is something psychologically exciting and satisfying about a Top having His way with me without my complete knowledge. i think, as far as i can tell, for me it has to do with my complete giving of myself to my Top and His assumption that He has carte blanche, that He doesn't really need permission. my absolute favorite form of stealthing is when a Top pisses in me without asking. i guess i am so used to taking a Tops fluids that i often cannot tell by feel when He has cum or if He pisses, and am used to holding it all in, so i won't discover a Top has pissed in me until much later... and it gives me a HUGE thrill when i realize it.

Cum, of course... but since they don't sell it on Amazon, i really like Elbow Grease. Can't use it with silicon toys unfortunately, but i love the way it feels both going in and as it gets worked. i keep a container of it next to me on my bed, along with other selections like Cum Lube, silicon and water based lubes for my Top to choose from, but my favorite is the elbow grease. i also have filled a 50ml syringe with it and lay it on the bed next to me as well in case i get a Top who likes super sloppy, He can shoot it in my hole and fill it with lube before He slides in.

It's not a fetish for me, but sometimes when getting fucked (almost always lying face down), it the Tops hand is near my face, i'll take one of His fingers or thumb into my mouth and suck it. It's not boredom, just super slutty horniness to take a man in. Anyone else do this? Tops, turn on or turn off?

This is a hard one... i like them both. As others have noted, i love the bench (especially padded saw horse). Love the anonymity of it. Feels more vulnerable. It's a position where anyone can feel free to breed, they don't have to be self conscious. my ass is higher than the rest of me, so piss and cum go and stay deep. i can go forever in this position, even fall asleep if i am between fucks. Awesome way to wake up feeling a cock slide in. Also a good position for getting spanked. Also, my mouth is more accessible for sucking. Sling is more intimate. Can wrap my very long legs around the Top. Can feel and pet HIs glorious ass as He pumps me. If it's a kissing situation, can kiss. Eye contact, especially if He is mind fucking using eye contact.

Hmmm, interesting. This isn't scientific, but i can make sense of this thinking about it. The sooner one starts taking cock, the longer they have had to get conditioned to taking cock, both psychologically and physically? i didn't take my first cock until i was 27 years old. On the other hand, i was bottom from as early an age as i can remember anything sexual. i was 7 or 8 years old when Danny Newberry showed me an enema nozzle and explained to me what it was for. i immediately went home and found our enema nozzle and it became my first dildo. Growing up, i put everything and anything in my hole, it came naturally. By age 12 i was fantasizing that whatever went in my ass was a guy. i was hugely conflicted about it because of my religious roots, they were always in a fight with my nature. Eventually, my nature won out. Some have suggested that guys from my generation go through a sort of second puberty when they accept themselves as adults. When i was younger, i had 'standards' but have developed into a bottom who will take anyone who needs or wants to penetrate and/or breed me, so i do not relate to age as being a factor for willingness to bend over and not just "take" it, but want it. i was at a gay sex resort last spring, in the 'play' room. There was a guy sucking another off on a sofa, others standing around watching, so i offered my hole. It was already opened and cum filled because i had been backed up to a GH. There were two young, hung guys who had both fucked me already, but seemed to get into the fact that i would take it publicly, The guy that started on me bent me over and started ramming in and out. He kept withdrawing completely, then ramming back in, which i find harder to take. At one point He said: "turn around and clean it off, it's covered in cum." He seemed a little surprised when i immediately did it. It wasn't my preference, but i wanted Him happy. His cock was both long and fat, so it was hard to suck, but i did it. He laughed at me and made jokes to those watching about my willingness to take His cock in my mouth after it had been in my hole. He switched between fucking and getting sucked by me several times, then pulled out and walked outside. i heard Him laughing and talking to His friend outside, describing me to him and telling Him what a slut i am, He wasn't being flattering and actually hurt my feelings. He brought His friend back in, a black guy i recognized who had bred me in the gh booths. They took turns fucking me publicly and then asked me back to their room. i didn't go because of the way i had heard them talking outdoors. The reason was strange, was willing to take the humiliation, but my instincts made me think they intended to harm me, so i didn't go.

For me, this is all (well, mostly?) about spontanaity. How many hook ups have not happened because the bottom was not prepped and the Top wanted it NOW, so the Top or bottom takes a pass. Or the bottom scrambles to get prepped. i cannot count the number of meals i have skipped because i had cleaned out and didn't want to put something back in or stimulate movement that would leave me unprepared to receive a Top. To me, a Top (and bottom) who isn't "picky" is a Top (and bottom) who will fuck spontaneously. E.g., i've had this long time fantasy of a fb type relationship with a guy where the comfort/trust level was such that He could slide in anytime the need or desire came up. Particularly, i fantasize about sleeping in the same bed and waking up to Him sliding His cock in at various times throughout the night to unload or piss. There'd be no concern or thought about 'readiness', because that is not a factor. To me, it kind of compares to straight guys who will fuck a woman even if she has her period.

i stumbled onto a gay movie last night on Netflix called The Pass. It followed another Dutch movie i'd just watched (not gay), but was apparently a Netflix 'suggestion' because i'd watched another gay Israeli movie called The Cakemaker. Both the gay movies had a decided romantic side, though they didn't have Disney story lines or endings. For me, gay movies that have a halfway believable story line are a lot hotter than just porn because they (try to?) go beyond just sex and consider other parts of a person. After the movie it was pretty late, so i just went to sleep... and dreamt. i had the kind of dreams i don't want to wake from, probably a subconscious expression of my own desires/needs. my 'gay' dreams are pretty romantic and always powerful. i always wake up with a longing to return and keep experiencing them. i remember my first dream about a guy like it was yesterday. i was 14, grew up in a culture that ingrained in me that 'gay' was sin and sick. i had fantasies about guys when i masturbated, but felt guilty, it was something i fought and thought of as bad. The dream was short and very simple. It was a dream of a guy i only knew in passing at school. He was a sweet, friendly boy next door type. In the dream, He came up to me and looked me in the eyes and gave me a long, deep kiss. That was it. A kiss. Fuck, the memory of that dream makes me ache to this day. That's pretty typical of my dreams, they often have edges of sex, but more than that, they all contain deeper connections between me and another guy. For me, i know being gay is not just a sex thing. Sex for me is just a part of my expression of wanting to be connected, attached to another guy. Sex just seems to be the easiest part of the desire/need to acquire. i'm kind of romantic. i can be a slut, but i realize that part of my slutiness (maybe all of it?) is an expression of desire/need to be a receptical for a mans need/desire. "Receptical" doesn't really completely describe it because it is too detached? Like a trashcan. i don't think of taking a mans cum, need/desire as 'trash,' very much the opposite, so i never feel 'trashy' for taking a man into me. i feel fulfilled (filled full?) for a time. i wonder if sluttiness is just trying to keep that feeling of fullness going of trying not to lose it? i don't see cock or cum as the only or even ultimate goal, but as part of connecting to that guy.

i'd have a hard time keeping myself from falling for you and always wanting you... i'd want you and your cum any time you needed a bottom to take you. my slutty feelings extend to the whole man, not just His cock and cum... especially Tops who are driven to breed, but maybe feel like they are missing something. Part of my bottom nature is a demonstration that all men are awesome and wanted. It's not pity or altruism, it's a real drive, how i feel.

Not sure i could put a percentage on it? At dusk, a lot of the guys that were there were looking. It wasn't that long ago, 2014. The bridge was a known cruising spot, so i never left without getting something... found it on Squirt. Wasena Park in Roanoke VA Here's a pic of the bridge. https://i.pinimg.com/736x/7c/0a/13/7c0a133d52440fd97cf82f1c1819436d.jpg

For me, the word "treason" suggests betrayal; it also has some moral undertones in my hearing. i may be pretty sensitized to that sort of thing because i came from (out of) a conservative religious culture. It's not a word i would use. As a healthcare provider, i see (and care for) people when meth goes wrong. People who need heart transplants (but rarely qualify) because meth use fucked theirs up. Most come in with altered mental status (AMS). AMS can run the gamut from catatonic to, often, violently irrational. They are some of the most difficult patients to care for, they usually require 1:1 care because, in their altered state, they are often a danger to their self and others. They may exist, but i have never cared for a meth patient who was not self absorbed and unreasonable. Even when they are dying, they want to party. When doing a psychological assessment, many (most) meth patients end up regressed to toddler stage of development and they throw tantrums to try and get what they want. They're not fun people to be around, let alone try to care for. Rationally speaking, about 85% of the people i care for are there because of lifestyle choices, and i'm being generous, the number is probably higher. It's hard for me to moralize about meth patients making a choice and not include the other 85% who made choices that affected their health, but are socially acceptable. Most of the diseases i deal with in critical care are caused by diet. Heart disease, the number one cause of death in most countries, is mostly preventable. Too much Applebees, KFC, McDonalds, Lays potato chips, steak, ice cream, bacon, etc. etc. etc.. lol my point is, i can rationally argue (with study evidence to support my contention) that most of us make choices that have deleterious individual and social results. Which is not to suggest that i think it's okeedokee to use meth, i don't. But i do know that the reasons we (all) make choices can be very complex. Some choices make better sense than others. E.g., while pizza can kill you, it takes longer than meth does to kill your heart or brain. my inclination is to try and help people understand the consequences such choices can have without leveling moral judgement (not saying you are doing this). i have found the best thing is to find alternative choices to replace the more damaging ones. We all want pleasure, but some pleasure choices are more costly and short lived than others... so the idea is to try to find things to fill that space/need/want that are healthier for the individual, and by extension, the community.

ErosWired is right that this isn't science, i.e., this hasn't been tested using the scientific method... but i think it's still an interesting question to explore and discuss. i agree that being a bottom is not like being a woman who biologically can't fuck a hole, though reading that immediately brought to my mind women who like to use a strap on to fuck with. It also brought to mind a transgender person i dated (born in female body, identified as male). That was one of the coolest relational experiences of my life, taught me a ton. This person expressed their 'maleness?' and desire to penetrate by using their hand since he had no cock. Life is complicated, eh? my experience (which isn't science either lol) has demonstrated to me that much of sex for me is in my brain. And that too is "biological," but a lot harder to quantify. i was married (to a woman) for most of my life (long story, you can find it in pieces all over this site). i never thought of myself as straight, but because of my cultural upbringing, i fought my desires to be with a guy/s. i certainly have/had the biological equipment to top, never had any trouble getting it up, had sex several times a week over the course of 30 years. i describe my time of marriage as "being in prison" (i.e., my beliefs that it was wrong to be with a guy was my "prison"). i look at it like straight guys who go to prison and end up having sex with other guys, and even relationships, but are essentially straight and would rather be with a woman, and revert to women once they get out of prison. i was married for 31 years, had a ton of sex with my wife, but once i got divorced (got out of "prison", i.e., accepted myself), i never had sex with a woman again. my wife is the only woman i have ever had sex with. i think as long as his equipment is functional, a guy at least has the physical equipment to fuck a hole. But all of our cocks are attached neurologically to our brains and that seems to be where we have infinite diversity. my experience with diverse people makes me lean towards taking people at face value. If a guy tells me he has never topped, i generally believe him. i say "generally" because i also have lived long enough to know people lie lol. sigh. Why lie? Well apparently it's because that's how they want to be seen, known. i do get that too. The labels we use often do not represent the contents. People can be fluid, labels are static. If a guy chooses a label of "total bottom" or "total Top," my guess is it's not because they cannot do the opposite, but psychologically they (mostly?) want to be identified and function in that identity.

This is the first time i've ever been envious of a whale.

i grew up in a conservative religious culture. but just thought i was sick and sinful and resisted my desires. i was attracted to guys as far as i can remember, starting around age 7. Ironically, i took my first load at age 27 onboard a hospital ship that was run by a conservative religious organization. It was in port getting refurbished and i drove to Long Beach CA to help. They bunked me in a room with this really cute guy named "Skip." The rooms were tiny with only a port hole about a foot aeross letting light in. He was a member of the crew and i was just there for one night. i worked on the ship all day and was in bed in the very dark room. He came into the room late, no words, probably didn't know if i was awake or asleep. His bunk was just a few feet from mine, but all you could see was shadows. We commenced to playing a sort of cat and mouse game for hours, each of us on our own bunk turning and making sounds, putting our bodies in suggestive positions, but again, all you could see was shadows... so there was an element of unsureness. After hours, i got up and went to his bunk and he turned his body to offer his cock. i took it into my mouth and sucked him till he shot his load in my mouth. It didn't take long even though i didn't know what i was doing, we were both super horny. After he came, he turned away without a word and went to sleep and i returned to my bunk and slept. When i woke the next morning, he was gone. i was 'in love' lol (hey, it was my first time) and wanted to talk to him. He avoided me and i didn't see him before i left. I returned the next week and was bunked with someone different. I saw him, but he pretended nothing had happened.

i've known, and loved, KptNLine for a long time, we've had a lot of discussion off thread. i don't think i am speaking out of turn to say that i consider him a great friend, but also a source of experience when it comes to D/s dynamic because i know he has been married to a Dom husband for several years and lives a lot of this stuff daily. He is thoughtful, self aware, honest and articulate, so i value his input in discussions. Something i touched on in my post/s and also noticed a few others, like nellie26 noted, is the relationship factor and how it figures in to "endurance." Going back to my first reply, the Dom guy i wrote about was a hook up. We had talked back and forth a bit online, but He wasn't a FB or ongoing relationship. Where He differed was with the connection i felt with Him, before we even met and had sex, that was confirmed and reinforced by our actual meet up and sex. First of all, He was "all Top." i laughed with resonation when i read "(I'm a Dom Top, I hate that versatile shit)" in flacogeder's original post. i personally seek out "all Top" on hook up sites, vs "versatile" or "versatile top." i'll hook with pretty much anyone who wants to breed me, but the guys i feel the deepest connection with are the "all Top" guys, and that "connection" absolutely affects my endurance. i recognized Him as someone i wanted, not just the fuck. Over the course of about 2 hours, He moved me into all sorts of positions and He was obviously into penetrating me as deeply as He could get, position changes seemed to be to facilitate that? He was the quietly verbal and gently assertive, which has the effect of pushing all my submissive slut buttons. i felt every bit of Him the whole time, but didn't get anywhere near "worn out." He had a lot of control over Himself, and pissed inside of me several times as part of the fuck before He came. Piss is not a very good lube, kind of makes for friction that would normally take away from my endurance, but i honestly didn't realize He had pissed in me until the next morning when some of it came out of me. A certain percentage of my experiences has been with guys similar to Him. When i feel that connection, it's so thorough that (i know this may sound corny) it's like we are one and the idea of worn out and needing to recuperate doesn't enter the picture. It is the Top who makes and breaks the connection. After He breaks the connection, i am left with a sort of ambivalence. Yes, i am maybe feeling physically spent sometimes, but even then, also emotionally nurtured. i do feel a sort of, hesitant to use the word "relief"? because i simultaneously feel a void too, like something vital is missing or has been taken away. For me, that identifies a crux of the D/s dynamic (i.e., the D/s dynamic that i appreciate, i know there are plethora types of that dynamic). "Recuperation" has several factors to it for me. i have not ever separated the physical from the rest of me (emotional/mental)... at least, with a guy. i can't take my fuck machine for even a half hour, but a dildo has a different texture than skin, physically speaking, and there is never the emotional/mental connection with a machine, sex is purely mechanical. E.g., i might be able to take it much longer if a Top was operating the machine? i have experienced Tops who used their hand or toys and were so into it that the toy became an extension of Them and i felt connected to Them. Others, it is just mechanical and i tire very quickly. For me, a lot of the answer to Your question keeps going back to You (i.e., the Top). If You make Your bottom cum, he may 'need' (want) to recuperate before even getting fucked. i know there are some Tops who love that dynamic, i.e., they want to fuck a bottom who is already 'worn out' or not horny and just taking it because the Top wants it. Then there is the opposite, where the Top controls the bottoms orgasm and purposely manipulates the bottoms horniness. In that case, i think many (most?) bottoms are going to have a much higher threshold for fucking and can go longer before having to recuperate. That need, would seem to then depend on conditioning (and i think that can be both physical and psychological, but i am talking physical here), at least to some extent? At some point along the way, my hole changed (i bet many bottoms will agree with this). It went from being primarily an organ for elimination to primarily a receptive sex organ. Just the use of my hole for fucking has changed it. Mine opens a lot quicker than it used to and is always a little opened just from having been used so much. Guys who fist and train with large toys can take that to a whole different level. i have barely taken a hand, but imagine guys who regularly take a fist or huge toys would not need to recuperate from getting fucked in the same way? I.e., their endurance would be greater? And that's all physical stuff. Psychological factors can increase physical endurance too. this is getting long lol, i'll stop now

This is where my mind went with the original question, ie, it’s not just a physical endurance question. i love the D/s dynamic for its mental/emotional potential, but find few who explore that area in depth? i think you are hitting the mark when you identify “for the love of men” vs for the love of sex as a point of focus. Sorry at work and typing this on my phone, I have lots of thoughts and feelings on this topic

i don't have a simple answer for this. The last long hard fuck i had was from a Dom guy who told me right up front that He liked to take His time and that it would not be a quick fuck. He went well over an hour, closer to 2. He had a large cock too, about 9. For me, the hardest part is initiation, especially if the Top has a large cock. It's the opening up that can be a challenge, but once i am opened, endurance is less of a question for me. my hole sometimes get's into a opened, yet swollen state that i'd call "hungry." If my hole is wet from cum, precum, lube, spit: "wet," i'm not sure i have found a limit. i need to recover if the Top has fucked me dry. I.e., it's the dry friction that does me in, not the size or stretching or even fucking. As long as i am lubed, i feed off of the Tops energy. If i feel like He is getting tired, i mirror that feeling automatically (not really a choice, just happens). The thing that does me in and requires that i recover is when i cum. Having been on this site for several years, i suspect that's true about a lot of bottoms (and Tops for that matter). I.e., that their fucking equipment can be conditioned to go on for a long time, but cumming seems to be the universal 'off' button.

Hey, thanks for qualifying about not wanting to "come off like an asshole," for me that qualifies you as non-asshole. i completely believe your sincerity in believing you are right, i just think it is like an ethnocentric conclusion. I.e., 'because it is what i know to be true about myself, it is true for everyone.' i think while it is true for you, that doesn't make it true for everyone, because i know it isn't so for me. i'll start by saying if your example of the 7 and 4 inch cock were the only criteria, you are right... i'd choose the 7 lol. But size isn't the only criteria for me and other things really do factor in. If i know both of these Tops and the 4 inch has certain personality traits that i am aware of, i might choose the 4 incher. i'm ridiculously introspective and, consequently, self aware, so i'm confident that i am not in denial lol. i also have no reason to try and convince you, or anyone else, that size is just one of many factors to me, i'm simply being open and honest as part of the discussion. For instance, i had a Dom FB who knew how to get so far into my head that i would choose Him over anyone in a side by side cock comparison. The best way i can explain it is the 'size' of His personality was so huge that it totally penetrated me in a way that a cock alone would not. I have about 40 toys in my toy drawer, and i rarely choose the largest one. There's lots of other factors for me and they all matter, not just size.

Great question!! i love this community, we have some really great discussions here. Reading through the contributions, it's interesting to see the different takes on what constitutes "quality." For me, i guess i lean towards "quality," but "quality" has a quantity element to it? For me, sex is more about the chemistry of desire. The more the Top wants 'it' the more that triggers my desire to give it. For me, it's the attraction of opposites, so the greater the polarity, the greater the attraction. i've also quantified my own need/desire. For me, i'm not just 'bred' by a Tops semen, but also by His penetrating me and what He does to make my hole His. For me, semen is a simple form of a Top making a bottoms hole His (so to speak). i don't see it so much as Him "making it His" as i see/feel He has added a part of Himself to who i am. For me, it's not only semen that has the effect altering me and making me His, but also the Tops energy/desire/expression or how He penetrates me. He can 'mark' me with Himself using His finger, or a toy or anything really, depending on how connected He is to it. i've been penetrated and marked by a Tops words to me. i sometimes wonder if i am looking for quality when doing the quantity thing? i had a Dom hook up once, who even after He came, still had desire and even though He wasn't going to breed me, He managed to make gestures, like casually putting His hand in my pants as we walked to dinner and running His finger down my crack. It was so powerful, i didn't want to be anywhere else. i guess for me, "quality" is an expression of chemistry of opposites. i look for that strong pull of desire and i think that is what i am looking for in quantity?

i really love them on a Top. Feeling a Tops balls sliding between my thighs as He slides in and out makes me wild, and i love the feel of His sack contracting while He shoots His load, His sack and balls up against my taint. On the converse side, my balls often shift up inside of me and sort of disappear. i have a Dom Top who loves that they disappear, He likes that on a bottom.

"Yes, it matters" to you. While you may not "believe anyone who says otherwise," your disbelief doesn't make you correct. i totally believe you when you say it matters to you, wish you'd take me at face value when i say it doesn't and explain why.

Size doesn't matter to me. i have stated this in several threads on this site, but for me the attitude and disposition of the guy i am with is what matters. i've had guys with tiny cocks who i loved because of their need and desire to breed, their love of ass. For me, it's about the connection, physical and emotional, and if a Top can get it in and cum, that's huge to me. Tops who understand and love to fuck with their mind have the biggest cocks in the world as far as i am concerned.

i was going to say "no" and then saw this picture and felt really hot and bothered by it. There's really only a part of the idea of a Top making me pregnant that gets me hot, it's the idea that something of Himself that He puts inside of me permanently alters or marks me. For me, it goes beyond the physical, i have had Tops who have 'impregnated' me with some aspect of their self, it usually if because they've managed to breed me mentally and emotionally and made me pregnant there. i've had Tops who pissed in me and have held and absorbed their piss to the point that when i piss, it is their piss i am 'giving birth' to. i've had other conversations and fantasies with Tops that go along similar lines (aren't allowed to talk about everything here), but the idea is the same.