hungry_hole

I have a problem with people who know they are HIV+ and who don't properly inform their sexual partners but only when the sex is performed in a socially accepted manner. Most people think of the sex between men to be the copy of the sex between men and women. You first meet, you talk, exchange names, find out what you do, what you like. And then you have sex. When a relationship develops this way the chances of getting the truth about each other's HIV status is almost implicit. I have a big problem if deception takes place in this kind of relationship. It's simply despicable and Worthing using the law. However, in anonymous and impersonal sexual situations, I see absolutely nothing wrong with someone lying or deceiving sexual partners about HIV status. I'm still testing HIV negative and I have no desire in seroconverting, but I know that sexual fetishes are powerful and sometimes uncontrollable. Saunas, darkrooms and gloryholes are there to fulfill these sexual fantasies, and it's simply naïve to expect any honesty in these places. Sometimes deception is the sexual fetish itself and an HIV+ guy gets off on breeding holes. You can't pretend to stop that from occurring because there's a market for it and some HIV- guys use it as a Rusian Roulette (me included) and that becomes party of the source of the excitement. I don't know how I would feel if I were HIV+, what would my fetishes be. One thing I know for certain is that I would get tired of always having to disclose my HIV+ status and having to talk about. I would long for free sex and I would probably engage in exclusively anonymous sex. Because I have no interest in pozing but I prefer my sex to be anonymous, I would welcome the possibility of having anonymous sex and also know that all the participants are STI free.

In response to my question about the ongoing discussion about disclosure: But no poz guy will be put in prison for lying or stealthing someone on a sling or a darkroom or with his ass up on the air in his room at a sauna. It would be like complaining to the police that your car was stolen when you left it running and doors open while parked on the street. The first thing the police will say is "That was dumb." But I do object an HIV+ guy not disclosing his status once they have exchanged phone numbers or had coffee together. I don't see what else can be said. Yes, it's illegal not to disclose an HIV+ status but so is stealing.

I still don't understand why the issue of disclosure is still being discussed. Those who want to decrease the chances of HIV infection should make sure to know their sexual partners as much as possible. Of course, say goodbye to pump & dumps, gangbangs in saunas, etc. By knowing your sexual partners you increase communication and decrease any kind of STI. I've had regular fuck buddies who have got in touch with me when they have any STI, including HIV. But in anonymous settings I know I'm on my own and I can only rely on luck. Here's an example. An HIV+ guys walks into a darkroom. What do you expect him to do? Should he announce to everyone in the room that he's a poz? Total

The trusting issue has a lot to do with HOW one hooks up with a guy you meet anywhere, including BBrt. If I wanted to make sure that a guy I meet online is being truthful I wouldn't jump into fucking right away. I would first meet for coffee and connect with him in a way where we see each other as a human beings. That way one maximizes the chances for being truthful. I once met a young guy I found extremely hot. We first met for lunch and then decided we wanted to have sex. He had never tried anal sex. He had seen it in porn and wanted to try topping me for the first time. I had been tested recently for all STIs and well past the window period. I told him about my tests and that there was nothing to worry about. He fucked me bareback and this was his first time fucking. He loved the way it felt when he was breeding me so much that we tried it again later for a second time. A few days later I went to the sauna and took a few anon loads. A week later the hot young guy contacts me again to tell me that he wanted to fuck me again. We got together but I told him that I did not want to fuck bareback because I wasn't sure of my situation with STIs. I was sorry I took the loads at the sauna because I would have preferred to have sex with the young guys. I was honest with him because I saw him as a human being. In an anonymous situation I would have responded that I was "clean" because my last test was HIV-, although 2 days earlier I had taken a few anon loads.

Mostly, sluttiness is not a bad thing. The only bad thing of behaving in a slutty way is the danger of STIs, not only HIV. But if there was a way of guaranteeing a sexual environment free of infections, I would recommend bareback slutty behavior to everyone, top, bottom, groups. Allowing myself to let go of preconceived ideas on how I should behave sexually has been a wonderful experience. Being able to fulfil sexual fantasies where I have let myself go has made accepting death easier.

I doubt you will stop having sex with guys and I'm sure that one day you'll be horny again and you will crave bareback sex. You are 19 and fooling around heavy with guys since you were 17.

To me the idea of a "tight hole" is overrated because I know a "loose hole" would feel better for the guy fucking me at that particular moment. It's already been mentioned here that not all guys react the same way at the moment they cum. I once knew a guy who fucked me several times over a period of years, and with no exception every time he started shooting his load his body would start shacking and he would ask me not to touch his body. To lower the intensity of his experience I would open my hole wide to minimize the friction around his cock so he wouldn't pull out right away to stop this intense experience. Like many guys here, while getting fucked I alternate between a loose and a tight hole and I try to pay a lot of attention to how the guy fucking me reacts so I listen to what he says, even in a darkroom or gloryhole where I don't see him. While being fucked by a jackhammer top I softly tighten my hole and wait for his reaction. Many times all a jackhammer top needs is a light squeeze to send him over the edge. I always play it by ear and do whatever feels good with that guy at that moment. But where I always do the same with every guy who fucks me, is at the moment when I realize that he is ready to shoot his load. Whether he tells me "I'm going to cum" or I hear the moaning or the breathing, at that moment I relax my ass muscles and make my hole wide open, and let the guy go deeper if he needs more friction for his cock. I may tighten a bit before I relaxed it and after a few seconds, and if I notice that tightening my hole will help milk the cock I do tighten my ass muscles. But I pay close attention because I want to prevent an early pull-out which sometimes are the consequence of a tight hole.

If it was not an anonymous encounter then I would agree with you when you wrote: But the incident described by muscmtl was in a sauna, totally anonymous, therefore in my opinion none of what you say above applies here. As Poz1956 says, it's much easier for an HIV- guy to be honest about his status. Poz1956 explains: I'm still testing negative for HIV but I can understand that I would get tired of having to continuosly disclose my HIV+ status so I would most likely go to saunas and sex clubs where I can feel free and leave morality at the door. Because of this and what Poz1956 says, guys have to understand that HIV laws would be difficult to prove in anonymous situations because these are places of fantasy. HIV+ guys may say they are HIV-, HIV- guys may say they are poz, whatever. Guys have to keep personal responsibility in mind because everybody is into their own sex trip. I see HIV as undesireable but I wouldn't blame no one but myself if I'm the one taking the risks. There are only tow possibilities. You either take risks that you feel comfortable with and be ready to accept those risks, or you better don't take any risks. But don't blame others. But how can you enforce this when many guys don't even know they are poz? I also think that most HIV- guys enjoy bareback sex a lot but do not want to poz. I was surprised to read in the book "Unlimited Intimacy: Reflections on the Subculture of Barebacking" that the author, Tim Dean, focuses on the bug-chaser/giver when discussing barebacking. My perception is that for most barebackers the turn-on is the barebacking experience itself, both top and bottom, with an emphasis on the "breeding" and the exchange of cum and they see HIV as a big nuisance and a huge inconvenience. I can understand "givers" and a guy feeling really turned on by the power of his cum. I can understand the fantasy and the need to live that fantasy. muscmtl said: "I`m about to step out and he grabs my wrist and says in panick you clean ? right ? Of course, no worry I said, fuckin pleased with myself." He obviously enjoyed the experience, but I don't see anything wrong with what muscmtl did because we don't even know if the bottom was already poz. By being ass in the air position and allowing muscmtl to breed him should mean that me is taking personal responsibility and not caring, or because he was already poz. The only way I can understand bug-chasing is as follows. A guy feels the need to bareback and take risks. He knows that HIV is a likely possibility and anxiety creeps in. There are three possibilities (1) Stop barebacking which will stop the episodes of anxiety (2) Continue barebacking but also continue to feel the anxiery of pozing (3) Make a fetish out of HIV infection and enjoy it instead of feeling the anxiety.

I don't know the details of your friend's infection, but if someone is really worried about HIV and other STIs he should stay away from impersonal/anonymous encounters (saunas, gloryholes, darkrooms) and only have sex with guys he knows relatively well. Then the law can protect him. But this law makes no sense in the case of sex with strangers. This law is crystal clear but is intended for situations where people know each others and who treat each other as people and not a hole to breed. Most lawmakers probably have no idea what goes on in saunas and other sex clubs.

I use the dimmer to adjust the light in the room so the signs will be visible. Yeah, some guys like to see the bottom's body and face but some get turned on by the anonymity of the scene.

I prefer to use signs that I place in my room where letters are painted with glow-in-the-dark paint. I once rented a sling room in one of the saunas in Montreal where they speak English but mostly French. One of the signs read "Crème mon Cul" (Cream my hole) and one guy came in, fucked me and bred my hole. But before leaving he told me in broken English that he had come into the room after reading the sign. Bottom calso come in and tell me how hot the signs are.

I think you were right in lying about your status, first because the question was asked after the fact. But also, I've argued in this forum before, that saunas are places that can be used to make fantasies become reality, so it's recommended to take with a grain of salt what guys say in anonymous settings. Maybe the bottom was already poz but role playing at being a slutty negative bottom. Or he gets off on taking poz loads. I've been asked if I'm a cop and I say yes to be part of the other guy's fantasy. Regarding the legal issue, yes, in some places muscmtl could be charged. But I doubt a guy like this bottom would be willing to bring forth a charge. "Oh, yeah, I had my ass up, door of the room open..." Again, in anonymous settings these laws stop making sense. Law makers never think of a case like this, saunas, darkrooms. They think of two people who know each other, start dating, have sex but one of the partners is HIV+ and never informs the other partner. In a case like this I totally agree with such law, and HIV+ people have to inform their partners about their HIV status.

I understand that tops fucking sloppy holes loaded with poz cum can also help infecting the top.

I'm sure that many guys can understand where you are coming from. We all want slutty sex (top, bottom, group, anonymous, darkrooms) but we are also concerned about STIs, whether we are poz or HIV-neg. No matter what some guys may say about HIV bringing sexual freedom the truth is that no illness or infection can bring freedom. One solution to this dilemma regarding sexual freedom would be to have a mechanism that can guarantee a certain level of sexual health. I know that this this idea sounds utopic, sort of like a "credit rating" of sexual health. I don't see any other way around it. We men need, at some points in our life, to experience the way fuckboy20 is describing. Wouldn't it be great to be able to participate in sex orgies knowing that all the men have gone through tests? Some groups could be of HIV+ men guaranteed being Hep-B and Hep-C negative. It would require strict control but I have the feeling that many men would follow the protocols in exchange for guaranteed safer fun.

I've run into a few guys I already knew at cruising parks. My lawyer, a professor at the university I was working, another professor who chair of Philosophy. We never acknowledged each other presence. Another time I met a guy from work, we had been in meetings together. I'm sure he self-identified as gay. I saw him once at the sauna in one of the Blackout events (lights off). I had the sling room and while I was on the sling he came into the room and started playing with my hole. I knew he had recognized me. He was going to put on a condom but I told him "No condoms". He left after saying he didn't bareback but a few seconds later he was back and without saying a word he stuck his cock in my hole on the sling, pounded it for a little while, bred my hole and left without saying a word. It was interesting when we had to be in meetings together and we never acknowledged any of it. Because I don't believe in any of the sexual orientation nonsense it does not surprise me to see a non-stereotypical self-identified gay man who is very masculine and a "ladies man", interested in experimenting with some sort of sexual script with other men. Men can offer other men an erotic and sexual experience that no woman can offer, such as totally anonymous sex, enthusiastic blow-jobs, fantastic group sex. There are two things that keep men away from sex with other men (1) Stigma of "homosexuality" and (2) STIs, which is also related to stigma in some cases such as HIV. If you can convince a man that he is not "gay" because he wants his cock sucked or if he enjoys sucking cock (or any other form of sex with men), and you can assure him that there is no risk of STIs, then it's easy to have sex with that man.

No matter how lucky a 50+ bottom is or how much action he gets, he would get more if he were younger but with the same attitude. I can now be at a sauna laying on the sling in my semi-darkened room with a glow-in-the-dark sign on one of the walls saying "Cream my hole". I can get a lot of action but many guys come in and check who I am. I'm sure if I were 30 they would have creamed my hole but I would have never done this at 30.

I can't imagine in a sauna too many bottoms feeling ashamed because they already have a load in their ass. On the contrary, most horny guys get hornier when they feel a load already in the bottom's hole. I did feel guilty once when while ridding my bicycle to a sex hook-up. I went by a cruising park and I was lucky to get bred by some guy who was cruising. After the guy bred my hole I continued my ride to the sex hookup. I felt quite guilty by the possibility of being caught with a load already in my hole. The guy seemed to me like the type that would not appreciate it. But he didn't notice the cum in your hole nd probably thought it was lube. For me the issue is more about guilt because if the cum you have in your ass is poz you are exposing an unsuspected individual to possibly poz. In my case the guy would have freaked out if he knew my hole had been loaded and just because I would be a higher risk guy for HIV. Some guys prefer to stay away from sluts in order to minimize exposure to STIs.

Getting fucked by a guy using a condom hurts my hole. It feels similar to using a rubber eraser on my skin, which pulls the skin. Try the following: rub your index finger on the skin of the inside of your forearm. Then wrap your finger with a condom and rub the same area again, and compare the feeling. You can try the same using lube on your finger and then lube the condom and you will notice that when there is lot of pressure applied the lube won't help that much. Some cocks can put a lot of pressure on the hole not to mention those hard and long poundings. In fact, I don`t like to get fucked with a condom because I have the idea that the condom will irritate my hole and make it more susceptible to infections with the next raw cock and cum deposited in my hole. In terms of the top fucking raw, there is no question that pounding a hole with an unwrapped cock feels much, much better than with the cock strangled by the condom. And the orgasm feels so much better when the cock is free. I once got fucked by a really hot guy who had never fucked before and my hole was the first one he ever pounded. We went raw because I had been recently been tested and hadn't had sex in a while. The guy went absolutely crazy and he wanted to fuck me again almost right away. He told me that shooting his load in my hole was the hottest experience he'd ever had. We kept having sex but my problem was that he almost wanted to have sex too much and too often.

To be fair, there may be bottoms who want to have a semi-slutty experience and who are not ready for complete slutty behavior. They may be sort of training to be sluts and for now they only have the guts to get fucked by certain type of guy. So no matter how annoying picky bottoms may be they have the right to choose who they have sex with. But closing the door as one leaves sounds good.

Especially if they are on a sling...

I went to a great sauna in Montreal on the weekend (GI-Joe) and as usual lots of bottoms showing off their hole either on a one of the public slings or in their room with the door open on their stomach, on all fours, or sling if the room had one. I noticed that some of these bottoms seemed to be very specific about the top they wanted to fuck them. Very picky. I had no interest in fucking any of them but as I walked the hallways I would occasionally stop in front of one of the open doors, even walk into the room to maybe play with their hole, and several would say "No thanks!" I don't know about other bottoms, but if I'm at a sauna with the door open it means I'm available to anyone. The only thing I object is when some guys wants to suck my cock and he's obviously not interested in fucking. But I always let anyone play with my wet hole because that may get him a hard-on. I don't mind either if the guy that is walking in is a bottom because if he wants to fuck me, who cares if he's a bottom.

We usually ignore feelings of shame and becoming poz can certainly trigger many feelings of shame. Shame is misunderstood so we seldom deal with it properly. Depression is a direct consequence of feelings of shame. Because shame is such powerful and uncomfortable experience we shut down shame and experience feelings of depression or many times violence. Donald Nathanson, a psychiatrist from Philadelphia and an expert on shame, explains all of this very well with something he calls The Compass of Shame. You can watch a video at . Depression is the Attack Self of the Compass of Shame. The shame associated with becoming poz is triggered because there's a sudden end to an expectation one had of oneself. This experience will vary from person to person and social environments. In the case of poptronic, from what I have read, his expectations have to do with a family and friends expectations of a "heterosexual life" and in his case becoming poz forces a sudden stop to a series of dreams and fantasies which were joyful and exciting. Thus, the feelings of shame that are a direct result of this drastic change in mood. The video explains the Compass of Shame but in order to better understand Nathanson's concepts on shame it's best to read some articles available in the Internet. What Nathanson suggests is that rather than escaping from shame one should face it and learn from that experience so one can live a more emotionally peaceful life.

Now that I'm a bottom over 60 , the best compliment I'm getting these days is two guys emailing me saying that they want to fuck my ass. One is a guy in his late 30's who's been fucking me bareback for several years. The other is a guy in his early 30's and I was the first hole he fucked and ever, it was bareback so he loved it and now he wants more. It's quite a compliment given the fact that there are so many hungry bottoms around.

First, as a bottom I love it when in a bathhouse I get some guy to fuck me and breed me and leave right away without saying a word. It's so hot because it makes me feel like a real cumdump. frenchbbtop, from your point of view, and you are young, you can just make a small effort to after you cum, go to the steam, or relax in your room, and in in a matter of minutes you'll be ready for some more action. Just don't leave the place right after you cum.

Because I don't use poppers I can't use them to relax my hole. It's true that pushing out opens out my hole and as kinky_hot said, it also makes sure my hole is clean. Relaxing is the best thing a bottom can do. I don't like huge cocks because I'm afraid of my hole getting hurt and then I cannot get fucked any more. But occasionally a big cock shows up and I try my best. A few weeks ago at a sauna a guy with a huge cock (for me) wanted to fuck me but I said it was too big. He insisted I guess because he likes to challenge holes so I made a huge effort to relax my hole until he went in all the way. When his cock was in all the way he pulled out and told me that he had just come in and didn't want to cum yet.