ErosWired

The accounts that are posted here by members of their introduction to sexuality at the hands of family members distress me greatly, even when the person says he was not negatively affected in the long term. Nonetheless, I read them carefully. I read them so that I can become aware and sensitized to the lives of men with whom I have so many things in common, and yet was spared these experiences. I read them so that I can gain a sense of when an account has the ring of truth, and when it betrays itself as fiction. I think that is terribly important, because subtly or overtly, incest changes relationships, minds, lives. I often hear it in the words written by these men, even between the words in which they claim that what happened was, and is, just fine. In the same way, I can hear the hollowness of an invented incest story, and this is my opinion of that - if it is not one’s personal experience, appropriating it for a story for base titillation is vile.

In the vast majority of cases, I’m either ass-up or facing away from the Top when he approaches me. I present that way so that he feels encouraged and empowered to touch, feel, and probe as he wishes. Men always, always touch my ass first - I can’t recall a time when anyone hasn’t. Some go straight for my hole to test it for readiness (it’s always ready) and some just like feeling up my glutes. Every once in a while I get Tops who I know haven’t had the chance to take a bottom in far too long because they run their hands all over me like I’m the best Christmas present ever. But there’s one place that very few Tops go for when they touch me - My mouth. On occasion one might thrust his fingers in (Hot) or bend my head back and kiss me with a very dominant tongue, but it’s uncommon. Usually if a Top wants oral service before he fucks me, I notice that he’s just standing behind me doing nothing, he outright asks me for oral, or he circles around the bed and wordlessly positions his cock in front of my face. Naturally, in any of those circumstances I immediately begin oral service. It’s part of my purpose, and I love sucking cock. The problem is, I’m not very good at it. I’ve got this TMJ problem that prevents me from opening my jaw very wide, and I’ve never been able to overcome my hair-trigger gag reflex no matter how I practice, so I can’t throat a cock unless it’s of a very particular girth and length. So I end up telling my Tops that I will definitely give them head to stiffen them up, but my ass is waaaaay better. I think maybe the reason I’ve never gotten good at it (though some say I have - I’m sure it’s highly subjective) is because oral stimulation does nothing at all for my own cock. I find the inside of a mouth rather cold and full of hard and abrasive surfaces with the occasional swipe of something soft and sticky-wet - for me, it’s sort of like running my cock through a car wash. As far as etiquette goes, I don’t feel obligated to give head by way of greeting. My welcome to the Top is my naked body clearly presented for his pleasure. It would never occur to me to fail to give head when it is requested; that would not only be an inexcusable breach of etiquette, but a dereliction of duty.

The irony is rich. The Orange Wannabe-King is the poster boy for incompetence, and you don’t get much more Governmentally Elite than President, especially if you’re giving non-Senate-confirmable elite jobs in the White House to the unelected Wannabe-Princess-of-America and her Wannabe-Prince. They not only live like elites but ostentatiously show it off, and Trump has no idea whatsoever what it means to be poor. How anyone feels about the opposition is beside the point - the man is mentally unstable, patently corrupt, and by every metric unfit to hold the office. If you don’t like Democrats, fine, pick one of those spineless, gutless Republican quislings and campaign for him. But arguing to keep the Tangerine Tyrant just because you don’t like the other side is irresponsible.

For some bottoms here, getting a load is heaven. My question, as an extremely inept liar if it even occurs to me to try, would it be considered dishonest or disingenuous for a bottom to preload his cunt with his own load for the purposes of claiming to have one in him? If he went as far as to conserve multiple loads in a devil’s dick, he could even claim to have several loads in him at the start of an evening, before a single actual fuck. I’m not sure how I personally feel about that. It would meet some Tops’ desires for fucking with the feel of a cum-sloppy hole, but if the Top is getting off on the idea of a mixture of the DNA of multiple men, it seems devious and unfair. But I’m an altruist and dislike misleading people, even though they might be happy with a satisfying illusion.

So much this. ^ There’s something specially exciting about an under-shot where you watch a Top’s balls suddenly pull in tight and you see the base of his cock begin to swell and contract as it starts pumping seed. But I’ll also say that depending on the Top and the intensity of the orgasm, I would equally enjoy watching the Top’s face as he unloads inside; those expressions can speak volumes. Sometimes I can get off just remembering the faces of certain Tops whose lust, hunger, dominance, and overwhelming need for release showed on their faces like a mask, and I knew then that no power in this world could stop them from seeding me balls-deep.

Poetry.

No gap for me - a black man gave me my very first fuck, and did it twice more that night. I had gone to a gay bar, which I never do, just to see what it was like, and this guy came up to me and said, “Today’s my birthday and I don’t want to spend it alone.” I replied, “You shouldn’t have to.” He gave me a big grin told me to follow him to his apartment, and the missing piece of my sexuality fell right into place on his first stroke. As I’ve written elsewhere in the forum, it didn’t really register with me that he was black so much as he was handsome and, miracle of miracles, had actually selected me for sex. And he was good, too.

Sorry, I only do whole teams.

You mean, basically live at the bathhouse? Wouldn’t that be nice? The one I usually frequent won’t let you have a room for longer than their 12-hour maximum rental period, even though they never close. Understandable. If it weren’t for such a policy, all the rooms would eventually get taken by permanent resident bottoms. Then the Tops would stop coming from the lack of variety, and the place would close its doors.

I am always a little confused as to how a Top can miss my hole. Quick quiz: Q: How is ErosWired’s cunt is like a Black Hole? A: It pulls in everything that crosses its “event horizon” so powerfully that not even light can escape. Yet even Master Fucksmiths from time to time stab me in the perineum with their cocks. So, first of all, don’t even worry about it. The nice thing about that anatomy is that you can only go up and down a straight line, and the entrance is somewhere along that line. Just follow the line til you hit it. Second, I’m assuming you aren’t blind. Nowhere is it written that you can’t look at what you’re doing and position your cockhead right on the target. Many Tops write about their enjoyment of watching their own cocks penetrating a cunt. Third, there is no shame in letting a bottom guide you in with his hand, or give you little vocal cues (“a lttle higher”, etc.) While not all that common, there are situations where two men’s anatomies are just a very poor match, and nothing aligns for fucking. It’s nobody’s fault, and nobody’s deficiency, it’s just an apple trying to fuck an orange. Sometimes this can be overcome to some extent if both parties are patient an open and willing to take instruction. Yes, there are Tops who can penetrate balls deep in a single thrust from a blindfolded start at a point on the other side of the bed (been there, felt that), but nothing says you have to be one if them. For fuck’s sake, HH. How many times? It doesn’t matter how many times you repeat that, it’s never going to magically become true and validate your fantasy. I, and many total bottoms like me, cannot Top because even though we are capable of erection we cannot stay hard to fuck someone. Please reread the last sentence for emphasis. There is a psychological barrier that has nothing whatever to do with whether we “just like to get fucked over topping”. I am a trained sexual service submissive. If I could expand my ability to serve by also offering Topping, I would do it so as to reach more Men. But I simply can’t. There might be some subset of bottoms that can be characterized by your description, but to try to paint all “self described” total bottoms with your favorite color is wrong, and you’ve done it so often now that it’s starting to feel less like annoying and more like harassment. I’m asking you formally now, and respectfully, to knock it off.

Below is a link to a study conducted in 2014 on the question of long-term cardiovascular and renal effects of alkyl nitrite inhalants. [think before following links] http://www.croiconference.org/sessions/long-term-effects-nitrite-inhalants-cardiovascular-and-renal-outcomes-macs-cohort (If you can’t find a neurosurgeon, find someone with a degree in library science 😉)

I’m hosting tonight, and am being asked right and left, and have so far lost two potential fucks because I didn’t have any loads in me. It’s like being surrounded by a circle of Tops, but nobody will step forward and be first. Meanwhile, all this hot, wet ass is going to waste. It’s maddening.

Interesting poll results so far, even from a small sampling. So far, we infer that, of those who ask a bottom how many loads he has in him: • Less than a third of you do it to help make your choice to fuck the bottom, and • Less than one fourth of you do it for practical or comparative purposes related to bottoming. Apparently the rest of you wankers are just doing it for shits and giggles. 🤨 Stop doing that, for fuck’s sake. It’s hard work enough sifting the genuine Tops from the flakes as it is without the extra online static. Sometimes I’m juggling three conversations on my phone at once, with one guy wanting to know if there are going to be other guys there, one guy wanting to know if he can come and just watch (no, unless he brings a Top with him), and another guy wanting to make sure I’m discreet. Across three different apps. And then one of you ninnies chimes in wanting to know how many loads I’ve got in me for no good reason. And while I’m answering you, I’m not talking to the other three, and one or all of them may lose interest because they think they’re being ignored. So instead of asking, just come add one, and then you’ll know that whatever the talley of other Men’s loads in my ass is, it’s at least one. And wouldn’t it be cooler to know it’s yours?

Tops constantly want to know how many loads I have in me before they fuck me. Some of them even start off with “How many loads?” right off the bat - not “Hi”, not “Yo, bitch”, not “Hey you faggot whore” (any of which I would reply to) - just “How many loads?” I dislike this because it seems like a trick question. There is no way to tell why the guy on the other end wants to know. It may be a Top who only fucks unfucked holes, it may be a Top who prefers a cummy hole, it may be a Top who will only consider an ass after it has been preloaded four times, it might be a fellow cumdump seeing what the traffic is like that evening, or it may just be some inhibited fapper getting his sad thrill from somebody else’s actual sex life. So, in order to help gauge what most of these inquiries are likely actually about, please chime in on the poll and say why you ask this, if you do.

Surprised yet somehow not surprised to see both Grindr and Growlr show up on my list of sites supplying info to my real-name FB account, even though I used completely different email accounts for the apps. It’s also amusing that they give you a handy option to “turn off” your data tracking, but all it actually does is hide the data tracking from your own view - FB keeps on gathering and using it exactly the same way. Time to start reading up on how to build a big electromagnetic pulse emitter...

I remember certain ones, mostly those who become repeat visitors when I host. There have been a few I remember for the exceptional sex, and two or three I will never forget from my adventure in taking their enormous endowments. But by and large Men take me from behind and I very often don’t see the person who despoiled me, and all I’m left with is a memory of hunger, lust and need in the dark, all too brief, and then it’s gone - until the next one.

Admit it? Of course. Most of them don’t bother asking because, after all, they find me lying naked and ass-up in either a second-rate motel room or a bathhouse room with semen leaking out of my anus under a sign that says “Fuck the Slut”. On occasion there will be one or two who want to know just how slutty a slut can actually be, and when I tell them what I actually do, they almost always walk away with their minds blown... but they still fuck the slut. I’m an open book about it. Truth in advertising and all that.

This. ^ Even though my personal physical sexual pleasure is not my goal in service, if I absolutely have to analyze (I seem to involve ‘anal’ in everything, don’t I?) a source of physical gratification that sex brings to me, it’s the realization that the Top is inside my body. The feeling becomes exponentially stronger with depth of penetration, and to a lesser extent, fullness of girth, but the main point is that another person has chosen to occupy the inside of me, and it just makes me want to give him the keys to the castle.

As you directly ask me to do so, and as the Moderators have left your post intact, I will indeed answer you. First, a few general observations before I touch on the various questions you ask in your reply to my post: It is clear from your narrative and from your use of English that you are not a citizen of the United States and hold certain opinions regarding Americans based on stereotypes that distort your views. It is also plain that you have strong views about the gay community, lifestyle, culture, and associated social issues, views so strong that they warp the way you understand what I and others write in our posts here. My comments below will attempt to clarify matters. I will not, however, address you, as you request, like you're a "5 years old boy"; this discussion would be incomprehensible - never mind inappropriate - to the average five-year-old. This paragraph illustrates that you did not, or do not, understand my discussion from the point of view of a trained sexual service bottom. In the order that the questions are asked: • It is my duty, my purpose, and my responsibility as I see it to ensure that the Top who chooses to use me for his pleasure receives the best service and satisfaction I can provide. My own physical gratification is not the goal, and indeed, I may suffer discomfort or pain to accomplish my purpose. But I also feel great satisfaction, not necessarily from the sex, but from the pride in knowing that I succeeded in pleasing the Top. • Hate sex? Don't be absurd. Neither am I concerned at all that a Top would think me a "loser". The thought simply doesn't occur to me. The Top may think what he wishes of me if it enhances his sexual experience. • No, I do not think negatively about myself because I am giving my ass, nor do I hold any such rubbish belief about anal sex being unnatural. This is such a bizarre notion that I can't help wondering if you're projecting something you're dealing with yourself - in which case I would reassure you that there's nothing to be concerned about or ashamed of. But I digress. • Letting Tops "use and abuse" me does not cause me to lose self-respect or love of life - quite the reverse. I am a very purpose-driven individual and I find it a highly enriching endeavor. • I am not your, or anyone's sister, nor do I subscribe to the particular view of gay culture characterized by such labels. I am perfectly proud of who I am, and my self-esteem is just fine, thank you. I am a man, and further, I am a son, a brother, a father, and have been a husband. I do not relate well to other men who refer to each other in female terms. Another member of my family is a working drag performer, and that is a very different world. I do not "sign" any such thing. Your conclusions are manufactured out of whole cloth by your own bias. As it happens, I am staunchly against all of those things, and act, speak and write accordingly. Your perception that I "sign" otherwise comes entirely from you. Clearly, none of this has anything to do with what I wrote, or the topic of the thread, which I would gently remind you is "Submissive Tops". You used the opportunity to threadjack in order to air your manifesto. My post just happened to be your springboard. But, you did specifically ask, so out of courtesy I will specifically tell you - yes, you're quite wrong. Wrong about me, wrong about Americans and America, and wrong about the way men from all over the world cordially discuss things with each other here on BZ. I consider this tangential matter closed, and with apologies to @Sharp-edge, I would direct everyone's attention back to the pressing question of the care and feeding of service Tops.

Another option, if you don’t want to get a good look at the anon guy about to fuck you but would still like to have the ability to glance at what’s going on behind you: Set your smartphone or tablet off and in an upright position facing behind you. The glass of the screen over the black background provides a dark reflection. Or, for a quick glance over your shoulder, set your phone camera for selfie mode - you don’t need to actually take the picture, but the camera will let you see what’s behind you. 😉

When I questioned above whether a Top’s desire for the “bounty of the hunt” it was more a question about Top perceptions than the value of bottoms. As I have said before elsewhere in the forum, a significant number of Tops have told me that I give exceptionally good ass. (I don’t know how true that is since I can’t myself to find out, but they do keep coming back...) The quality of my ass is going to be the same whether a Top has to seek me out, seduce me or overpower me to take it, or simply takes advantage of my ass raised as he passes by. That is to say, the ass has intrinsic value independent of any added value it might accrue If it were more difficult to obtain. If you find a $100 bill on the sidewalk, do you walk away and leave it there, thinking it’s not worth taking because you didn’t have to work to get it? Of course not, and I would hope that a good piece of ass would be seen in the same way.

Actually, whenever I’m in service at the baths, I make it a point to always face away from the (always open) door. This serves two purposes - first, they don’t have to look at my made-for-radio face before deciding whether they might be interested, and second, I never have to deal with the expressions of those who judge me. Not that that would faze me in the least; if I’m going to a public bathhouse and, literally, let it all hang out, my feels have to be coated with Teflon. I am not, after all there to be loved - I’m there to be used, and that is my mission. The day that I realize no Man wants my service any longer will be the day I stop.

What about a bottom who comes into a relatively open space, for instance a larger open space in a steam room, a video room in a bath or ABS, or a room with a fucking bench, and makes himself clearly available for present use? Is he considered by the Top community as being aggressive, even if he’s just lying there, albeit in front of everyone who comes in? I have seen this done - and even tried it myself a couple of times because you can’t win if you don’t play - but the only reaction from Tops I’ve ever seen, or gotten, is that they either walk by as though the bottom is invisible, or on occasion one may stop, squeeze and/or pat the ass, mumble something like “Nice ass,” and move on. So is such a bottom being seen as too forward or too aggressive? Is the setting just too public, and if so, why, for fuck’s sake? Nobody’s there to take a bath or pick up a good book - we’re all there for more or less the same reason. Is it an uneasiness about being seen as the first guy willing to fuck a whore, fuck in public, fuck a public whore, or fuck a whore in public? (These are nuances appreciated by seasoned fucksmiths.) Does such a bottom automatically come across as needy, greedy or desperate because no bottom worth considering would ever actually look at Tops as a meat market? Or does this have something to do with Top psychology that reasons that good ass is the bounty of the hunt, and there’s no sport in using an ass that any Man could use without any effort or discernment? Is it even, in some cases, that a Top isn’t properly motivated toward a bottom unless the bottom first signals an individual interest in him, building his sense of personal prowess versus other men present, thereby stroking his ego? I honestly don’t know the answer. Tops’ brains are inscrutable to me. I’m deeply grateful that they often switch over and think with the ‘little head’ - I just wish I understood their wants and needs better so I could serve them better.

This question isn’t actually pro-bugchasing, and is targeted at non-chasers, so I’m asking it in this part of the forum. If you are Undetectable and on ART and are propositioned by a bugchaser who has seen that you are HIV+ and wants to be exposed to your “toxic fluids”, would you encourage and go along with his fetish in order to get the fuck even though you know that U=U and it’s not possible for you to transmit the virus to him? Or do you explain that you’re Undetectable on meds and aren’t “toxic” and potentially miss a fuck but score another point against Poz-stigma? If you wouldn’t mislead him, would you just say “Sorry, bro” and leave it at that, or would you suggest to him that he look into getting on PrEP and explain the reality of having the virus?