hntnhole

Perfect !!! The Big Con finally reduced to a one-word descriptor !!!

🙄 This ^ is the sum total of what I think about "no nut November", "sex-free September", "jackoff January", "fuck-free February", "mouth-on-toes March", "don't-touch-ass April", "yes-you-may-worship-earlobes-May", blah blah blah.

That's the case here in the US as well. Lots of younger guys don't have the patience to enter into contractual relationships, too wrapped up in searching out shallow thrills-of-the-day to invest in values/worth that lasts a lifetime. It's a sorrow, but it's the way of the world, I guess. What are "Cash Masters"? I've no idea what you're alluding to .....

Thanks, Willing, for the kind words. If I could still blush, I would - but it's been years - I don't quite remember how .......

Welcome, Max. Your experiences are shared by many on BZ (excluding perhaps the flashing 😄). We're looking forward to hearing more from you.

I agree. Depending on the circumstance (singular). I had a trusted friend/fuckbud during covid, and we helped each other get through it. While I don't like it at all, I did let him fuck me occasionally (I can't imagine that it was attractiveness of my ass - that's impossible), and he was <polite cough> modestly endowed. I did it more because he needed to Top occasionally, we got along well, and he was giving me his Hole. It seemed only fair, and the usual places were closed for the duration, so I just gritted my teeth and took it. He just needed the connection, even though he was mostly bottom. Win/win in difficult circumstances, I guess.

They're trying to give you the best fuck possible by aiming directly (as opposed to obliquely) for the prostate.

Thank you, minthulf & gay4funwaco !!! It's been almost 6 months since I stirred that pot, and a number of the responses were interesting and reasonable. I was hoping for some more in-depth responses, and here they are. You two, however, gave us well-reasoned, well-written, comprehensive responses that many in the US could do well to bookmark and read again and again. I hope both of you write on other blogs, thus sharing your insights with a wider audience. Many thanks !!!

After reading through these replies, there must be some other facet influencing the lack of sexual connections. EW points out that sexual thoughts pass through the minds of most men many times a day, even if only for an instant, no matter where in the world they happen to live, no matter what the gender of the target is. Cultural repressions seem too weak an influencer to be wholly responsible, since those would be applicable to both Tops and bottoms, I understand that there has been - at least as long as I've been sexually active - a generally accepted perception that there are more guys drawn to bottoming than Topping, and that seems to ring true. I've always believed that the preference/inclination is something that's naturally inborn in us, but that doesn't make it true for everyone else.

If most folks are a combination of the intro/extro, and that's likely, I guess I'm somewhere around 80% extrovert, 20% introvert.

It's really great to feel like that, isn't it !!! Sounds like you're on the right track though. Little by little, he seems to be increasingly aware not only of himself, but you as well. I'm guessing that he's unsure of himself, careful not to "go too far", all of that. Give him all the time he needs, and enjoy the bud that is beginning to open into full bloom. Makes me smile ..... I'm guessing he may not "know" either. But that's part of the thrill - growing into your respective maturities sexually - and making that journey together. Thanks for the update; you're both lucky guys.

Agreed, and thanks for the that. It is entirely unreasonable to expect anything more than "play" based on nothing but the sexual component. Still, I tried to offer the guy that asked about "ownership-play" some advice. The entire meaning of Ownership carries far more depth than merely playing around with some bonds. It carries a far deeper connection than mere "play". Agreed as well, unfortunately. There may well be lots of guys here on BZ that have no idea of the subject. But, that's the way of the world, it seems. Still, there are some of us that took part, remember how enriching the real deal is, was, and are grateful for the depth it brought to our lives. I know I've lived a better life as a Leatherman, despite the fact that I seldom wear the hides anymore. The organizations, gathering places have faded, and it's just too damn hot here for it.

No, I don't think it is, at least within the parameters of a classic Dom/sub construct (Ownership) observant of the Leather Ethic. The answer to that dilemma is, the Dom sends his boy over to a trusted friend (almost certainly also a Leatherman) for use. Less-likely, but certainly possible, the Dom can send his property out to a fuckjoint to take loads. A Cock-hungry sub can invent all kinds of innocuous ways to make his Dom/Owner "aware" that his thirst is not being sated, which then becomes the Dom's issue to figure out. That kind of situation does invite revisiting the initial negotiation, which should be revisited occasionally anyway. If the Ownership relationship (that was awkward, but) is to remain strong and true, consider that both the Dom and the sub are human beings that are constantly growing intellectually, emotionally, sexually, and the original parameters (or contract, as you mention) can be revisited when appropriate. Even in the het world, marriages between opposite sex sometimes need to be refreshed. I remember as a kid, when my mom wanted her own car (we had one at the time, which my dad drove to work every day). They went into their bedroom, closed the door, and the torrent of Swedish was tremendous, and she did get her own car. Another 6-cylinder Chev, unfortunately. We're all living, growing, constantly evolving men, and the flexibility of the limits can and should be revisited occasionally. Some men call it a "time out", where the initial negotiation is suspended for the duration of the exchange. Some call it by other names. The point is, to recognize that it's entirely correct and appropriate to reexamine the foundational bedrock from time to time. If new limits are in order, that's fine. If the differences are irreconcilable, then the two men have grown in different directions, and each has grown, learned, and is a better man. The whole point of Ownership is, one man (often more experienced) enriches the other (often less so) in many amazing ways. That's the goal of Ownership in the first place - or any other loving, caring, enriching relationship, for that matter.

How would tsg know? It's not his business to ask about the wife, or anyone else. It's his business to offer himself to that man who needs him, and who he needs.

Of course you're 100% correct. Perhaps not merely "a part of", but the most important part of Ownership. I know and understand that lots of guys think that Leathermen are just costumed tricks, but there are some of us still around that take The Life seriously. Caring for, seeing to the welfare of, protecting and loving our "property" is one of the biggest thrills we experience. Whether it's a monogamous relationship (highly unlikely), or making sure the sub gets as much extra action as he needs/wants (highly likely), caring for the well being, advancement, increasing his knowledge/understanding of the LeatherLife, keeping him in good health, exercising all facets of his intellectual curiosity, on and on and on - is a huge thrill for a Dom.

Nothing particularly special ..... Pumped it up my favorite "regular" at Slammer ... he's always in the same place, and seems to be a really nice kid. Talked to him for a while in the bar. Sometimes he brings his best buddy (also a hot fuck), but the buddy wasn't there last night. He understands my own peculiar Lusts, and loves getting his Hole fucked full while I wander around elsewhere. He's even backed off on shaving his ass - which is totally delicious. I'm probably one of a dozen or more of his "usuals", and I like that.

Welcome, you guys ... this is the place where everyone gets to air their viewpoints on all kinds of things (even some subjects unrelated to rawfucking each other!) We look forward to hearing more from each of you. Cheers !!

I'm guessing that neither of you are experienced Leathermen, or observers of the Leather Ethic. Thus, some foundational rules: 1. The "negotiation" is paramount, and takes place only with you and the sub. Once, I almost got ripped a new one here on BZ for suggesting meeting in a "neutral" location for the negotiation, for instance having lunch together at some cafe, which is entirely normal where I come from. It still makes me smile. The important thing isn't the location, it's the conversation/negotiation. For a successful scene, each guy must say what he wants truthfully and fully, and share with the other what he wants (and equally important) does not want to happen. A negotiation is as much a "meeting of the minds" as anything else, and crucial to the success of the scene. It sounds like you may be a bit of a novice at arranging Bd/Sm scenes, so thanks for asking about these protocols. Find out exactly what he means by "used". I would suggest that Ownership is out of the question in an initial scene, and don't even attempt it during your first scene. Ownership is serious business, and I'm guessing that neither of you know all that much about the other. 2. As the Dom in charge, it's your scene, and you transmit the agreed upon limits (arrived at during the negotiation between you and the sub only) to the to the other invitee's. You must follow the agreed upon acts to the letter, and be present at all times. The time for expansion of limits is after the initial scene, as an extension of the negotiation. 3. On the day/night of the scene, require his presence, and start the mindfuck well before the others are scheduled to arrive. It sounds to me like he's a novice, and the more you can attune his mind not merely to bottoming, but to submission before the other attendees arrive, the better. 4. To the "rope" issue: Make sure you have a sharp knife handy, in case the sub gets spooked. I prefer a sailing knife, but anything that can cut the bonds quickly and efficiently will do. Safety first. Know your knotwork. There are numerous kinds of knots that the bound guy cannot wriggle out of, but the Dom can release with one quick tug. Look them up, and start with nautical knots. It sounds to me like the scene you're proposing is a Breeding event, with a little Bd thrown in to spice things up. As the Dom, you are 100% responsible for the welfare of the sub, and his well-being is entirely in your hands. Never ever allow a sub under your control to be injured or used in any way other than what is proscribed in the initial negotiation. You, and no one else, are responsible for what does/does not happen, so plan the scene carefully. A hot D/s scene can leave everyone involved grinning like a gang of Cheshire cats, sated and soaked in new, thrilling pleasures. But it does take intensive advance-work. If you'd like, you may message me (or any other experienced Leatherman on BZ, I'm sure) with any further questions. Good Luck !!!

My point exactly. From the Oxford: "the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity". Notice the final word in the quote. Unless there is something extraneous, not naturally produced in load, it's not addictive. The behavior, however laudable and delightful, can be.

Shucks .... in Junior High, swimming class (somewhere around 60 guys) was held, and no swimming trunks - at all. There are two events that I recall: Once a guy got a hardon in the locker room , which was bouncing in front of him when he entered the large room with the pool. He got teased like crazy for weeks .... The other memorable event was when some guy shit in the pool, and I've never seen 60-some guys claw their way out of a swimming pool faster. It was like a naked Three Stooges scene .... still makes me laugh.

Unless he directly asks you that question, I don't see why you would feel obliged. For all you know, sonny might have told daddy all about it. - and that's how daddy knew to contact you. Then again, maybe not. Don't lie, of course - but I don't think you're obligated to volunteer information that may or may not prove unfortunate. Why risk it - just enjoy the (almost literally) Cock-Next-Door !!! One day, down the road, you can casually mention something like "does being a hot fuck run in the family?" If daddy didn't know, I'd buy tickets to that extravaganza !!! 😇

I don't understand that either. Even if a guy lives in a small burg somewhere, the tests / meds are available via delivery services to one's doorstep. It couldn't be easier ...

Don't forget to check out the darkroom ... I told one of the front-desk guys it needs to be expanded. There are a couple of gh booths just to the west of the darkroom, and they are not used much. It would double the size of the darkroom, and that'd be a cheap, excellent little project !!!

I'm with BBArchAngel, however I wouldn't go so far as to call your actions a "mistake". I'd call it not much more than not carrying out your role in the scene. Maybe the bottom thought you were merely a Top that could be pushed around (since that's what he did), maybe he thought you weren't sufficiently Dom to suit him, maybe he didn't think anything at all, and is merely a "pushy bottom". The only misstep you made was accommodating the guy. If you allow it, some bottoms will take advantage. So what to do? Next time, set the limits both when you're cruising (i.e. before you actually meet the sub), and reinforce them when the guy arrives for the scene. If, in the future, any bottom tries to seize the moment and Dom you, end the scene and kick him out. There are times when a soft-hearted Top can be a scene-ender, so tuck that sense of polite manners into a jar and put it on the shelf - at least until the sex is finished. We'll be waiting to hear about how the next scene works out !!!

What ??? Help you out ??? Like they deserve the fruits of YOUR labors ??? They're the idiots that need some "help", and certainly not from your richly earned buffet. Let them earn their own, and then see how willing they are to accept "help" from others.