hntnhole

I've read and re-read the article; I don't see anything suggesting that the actual virus - in and of itself - carries any physical power to induce, influence, expand, or otherwise affect or create a deeper lust for wanton sex than existed prior. What I do see is that becoming hiv positive can alter the behavior, meaning that something like "it's already happened, so I might as well get as much as I can" type of outlook. That is easy to understand.

As far as I know, that is the single most crucial thing about a relationship. Honest communication. No judgements, just honest communication. Kudos, and the best of luck !!

Well said. There's also the possibility that some guys simply weren't raised with any manners. If that's so, and they've never bothered to realize/try to remedy that fact, the default reaction could be defensive aggression. Another possibility is that they're feeling shamed, and lash out from a sense of insecurity. I'm no shrink, but what's so wrong with treating others with some measure of respect as the default setting?

Aren't they always ....... but, maybe he learned a thimble's worth. 🙂

and thank you for using that modifier properly. Would you be willing to educate Madame Maddow as well ??? I tried; nothing.

I'll bet you did it as kindly and respectfully as possible too, despite the source.

I see you identify as a cumdump; that would imply that any Cocksteel wouldn't be involved in much Topping. That said: As long as you keep it completely clean as it heals, you won't have any problems. Get plenty of those little ear-cleaner things; you'll need them. Obviously, wait until it the healing is complete though before you resume following your calling. Any open weal is susceptible to extraneous "accidents", and you don't want that to happen. I wore Cocksteel for decades, but it had to come out for a surgery some years ago, and by the time I was back in action, I just didn't bother. Had a lot of fun with it though (particularly at airports !!!), and I'm glad I did it. You'll need a heavy-enough gauge, so the ball can be turned up to block the hole (if you get an Albert), otherwise piss will dribble out on your balls, pants. Just be sure to wait until it's fully healed before you have sex, in that Sperm can get almost everywhere when we're in heat, accidents happen, and that's a risk you don't need to take.

This references the first thing I do: take a "sniff-test". Of course, the principal thing I'm checking for is "preparation", and if f there's something that doesn't seem right, I murmur something acceptable and move on. Can't say I recall ever smelled either of those two chemicals in the fuckjoints though.

That Hole looks simply delicious !!!

Hell, NO !! You definitely should express how much you love the Top's raw Cock. The only potential reason not to, is if the Top expressly asks you to be quiet. Why a Top might do that is beyond me, I think we Tops always love rutting in a Hole that clearly loves getting fucked/Bred. A bottom that loves raw Cock up his gut and lets others know how much he loves it is like iron filings to a magnet for other Tops. Tell him how much you love his Cock, how he uses it, how much you want his load fucked deep inside you. It's music to our ears!!

from the article linked above: "Lay Summary In 2000, Starks and colleagues speculated that HIV infection could alter host behavior in a manner that facilitated the spread of the virus". While brief, the key descriptor, mentioned more than once, is the word "behavior". Not once was there any hint that the actual virus increased wanton sexual behavior, it references more than once a behavioral result of the hiv virus. I take that to mean that the actual virus is not at all inducive to wanton raw sex with countless men. The presence of the virus only induces different modalities in how the pozzed guy thinks about wanton raw sex. I well understand how some men need some kind of reason to be the men they were born to be, particularly given the cultural repressions most of us face at one time or another, and becoming positive may well do that for them. I'm no clinician, but it seems to me that one way or another, and despite all the repressive messages we receive from our earliest days, one of two things will happen: 1). We will intellectually/emotionally/spiritually come to the understanding that we are fundamentally different sexually, and the repressions simply don't apply to us. 2). We will not find the strength within ourselves to reject the cultural bullshit, and thus, suffer all kinds of mental/emotional anguish throughout our lives. That kind of repression can get internalized, and we wind up not living up to our potential in all the other facets of our lives. In other words, we surrender to the cultural/religious pressures, and become lesser, more stunted men than we could have been. I have yet to hear/read or otherwise run across any input from any source (meaning outside of the institutions that offer only repressions), that the second option above is more uplifting, more fulfilling, induces more happiness, more well-being, a richer life. We must make the effort to examine ourselves, quietly and soberly, and actively search ourselves for the answers to who we are. Only then do we find the the inner strength to flaunt convention, spit in the eye of those who would judge us, and live our lives joyfully, express our wanton sexual behavior exuberantly, and as often, with as many partners in that joyful mating, as we need.

Pubic "style" ???? ohferchrissake ....

Nah ... that shit doesn't work with me ... if some stuffed shirt tries, I just grin and say something like "oh? you want some too, huh?" I realize that invites a rejoinder, so if I'm disinclined to engage, rather than get into it, I just say "yup", and move on ...

If a bottom asks me to stop, then of course I stop. If, for whatever the reason, he's not enjoying it, why would I even want to continue? There are plenty more in the fuckjoints that will want it.

I agree. Tops balls can't compete with Holes, for generating loads/taking loads. Bottoms can drain Cock after Cock after Cock, and unfortunately, balls seldom generate enough Sperm to Breed every single one of them.

Having been to both a number of times, I can honestly unequivocally say that Berlin is the hottest fucktown I've ever been to.

Actually, this is a question of semantics. Porn isn't porn if it's not raw porn. The more proper descriptors would be pornette, porn-light, wannabe-porn, timewaster, yawn-porn .... and I bet all you other guys can cum up with some even better ones .....

Same here. There's also a pre-existing contraction - that being fucking bareback - or "bb" when hiv first surfaced. Before hiv, everyone fucked "bareback", and it was just called "fucking". There wasn't even a separate word for "bareback" until every one who wanted to avoid a certain and desperately horrific death began using "rubbers", and the handful of men who still fucked without condoms were already on the slippery, terminal slope. There was no racial connotation to the the term at all.

That's a perfectly good description. There's one un-addressed facet in your post that I happen to know about. Being born in Sweden (my family emigrated to the US when I was an infant) to a city that is virtually a mini-Stockholm in the US. Thus, there are particular cultural repressions it took me some time to shrug off. That, and Lutheranism were the initial stumbling blocks for me. If you've been brought up in the Lutheran Church, you'll need to carefully examine what is fact in that peculiar belief-system, and what is only cultural. I wound up rejecting Organized Religion altogether, and am the better man for it. My family went back to visit every other year for decades, and I found it stultifying as I got a bit older. The cultural repressions, particularly in a relatively closed society, can be like invisible chains, binding your thought-process, controlling your behavior, and you don't have to accept it. It took me no small amount of time to flush it out of my system, but with some mental/emotional work I managed to break free, and have lived a better, richer, more fulfilling life for it. I remember one time we went to visit an aunt of my dad's, over towards Jonskoping (sorry, no umlauts on my computer), but still out in the country. The old woman was sitting on the front porch of her little house in a rocking chair, didn't so much as glance at us as we drove up in the yard. She only looked at our family once, as she stood up, and said something on the order of "like the USA so much? So go back there then", and stomped into her little stuga. What a sorry example of cultural repression; either our way or the highway. It could be that it's the cultural repressions that are bothering you. If you're Norsk, maybe it's not so crushing over there - I don't know. But reflecting on how deeply cultural repressions affect us can help us realize that they simply don't apply to us, meant only to control us, and thus, makes it easier to shrug them off and become free. It seems that all social structures are infused with restrictions, controlling mechanisms, and for men like us to be really free, we must carefully consider what the impact of cultural repressions are, how to flush them out of our minds, and move on with our lives. Best wishes as you begin the journey to freedom.

Well, of COURSE ... that's his responsibility. Some Tops think that Topping makes them more masculine, and the rougher they are the more butch they are. And, that kind of mindset cuts them off from a chance of "connection", or some would say "bonding" if even for a few moments. A Top's job carries a bit more depth and skill than just walking up to a Hole, jackhammering it for a while, and remaining completely outside the emotional/spiritual/connectivity that some of us know is the real essence of Breeding. We all have certain acts within the context of fucking that we particularly love - sometimes even need - to completely bond/connect with the other guy. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't, but that doesn't mean we should revert to an insular hauteur if things don't work out precisely as we'd like. I'm no shrink, but that scenario seems to be cutting off the chances of a better fuck for both guys. It takes two to .... um .... waltz? 2-step? polka? ..... well, one of those dances .....

When my life-partner passed, I fell into a similar situation. The main reason of course is obvious, but the potential remedies are similar. A prescription for V. D3, helped, and the kindness and understanding of a few close friends helped. The lack of sunshine in Chicago (it's cold, dark, unpleasant for 4 months), and when there is sunshine, it's too damn cold to go outside to soak it up, and one can't go shovel snow wearing nothing but a pair of shorts either. So your location could have something to do with it. I can't say I completely lost interest in fucking guys, but for a couple of years it just wasn't all that it had been. Have you suffered a loss of some kind? That can bring a sense of loneliness that - while not completely factual - can still bring depression. The almost constant contact with *real* friends (meaning not just fuckbuds), helped a lot, meaning that they forgave me "in advance" for being mentally elsewhere, and just rolled with it. But what I can say is, moving to an area with permanent summer has really helped. It sounds like you're tied down by your day job though. Since your sexuality has played such a dominant role in your business-life, I can easily see how one domino can lead to another, then another, and presto - we find ourselves in a hole it's tough to get out of. Are there any other interests that might help? For instance, concerts, theatre, art, dance, lectures, exhibits that might interest you? The "fresh start" angle? I really hope you can re-set and, if not actually overcome, then at least come to terms with the situation. Best wishes.

One thought: There are Tops that think very highly of their Cock (for good reason or not), and enjoy watching it being ridden. Personally, I find that inclination a bit "over the top", and there's a whiff of self-interest about it that obviates the chances for that ephemeral "connection". There's a lot more to Breeding than just getting your Cock worshipped. Unless we're bothering our fist yet again, it still takes at least 2 men to Breed effectively.

To answer the question, no, I just posted about my own m.o. in some other thread the other day, so I won't repeat here. The point, however, is there are variables for the Top to consider, some of which would be a) has the bottom been taking loads for a while, and thus should already be accommodating, b) how thick is the Top? A thick Cock shoved into a tight Hole willy-nilly can wreck the scene for both men. It's supposed to be fun, thrilling, satisfying - all positive feelings - for both guys, but that only happens when communication (either verbal or via touch-exploration) happens.

Adding my best wishes for your recovery, rawTOP. re: the chat function - don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff !!! Take it easy, and know we're all sending you our very best wishes. Breeding zone is a fantastic site, and we'll wait patiently (won't we, guys?) until you're recovered. 😊

I concur. Talk is easy, cheap and oftentimes worthless noise. It's what guys do that counts - what they say, not so much. When a "straight guy" is cruising on the apps, or in the fuckjoints, he's already demonstrated everything we need to know about him, and without listening to one word of self-forgiving bullshit. Maybe he's fathered a dozen kids, and so what? Who cares? Look at what a man does - that tells you all you need to know,