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How to be an ethical slut?


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  • 3 weeks later...

Sorry not sorry. I have NOT stopped hooking up during this COVID pandemic. 
 

I’m on PrEP, discontinued kissing, and only fuck or get fucked doggy style with masks on. 
 

The way I look at it is each person needs to assess risk. I’m single, live alone, and don’t interact with family or other older, high risk for COVID folks. 
 

It’s not my responsibility to ask about the dudes I’m hooking up with. And I’ve still done groups. 

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22 hours ago, wow4761 said:

Sorry not sorry. I have NOT stopped hooking up during this COVID pandemic. 

And your point is... ?

Your post essentially said, “I’m not responsible for risk to anybody but myself, and I take precautions except when I don’t.”

Okay, fine. Then it would be reasonable, don’t you agree, to expect you not to seek medical treatment at a hospital when you eventually catch the coronavirus? Those medical workers aren’t responsible for your risk, are they? Aren’t they responsible for looking after their own safety? Why should they try to keep someone like you from dying if it puts them at risk? I mean, you chose to roll the dice, so you should accept the consequences, right?

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  • 1 month later...

Fantastic thread. What are guys doing now? Evidence is strong about transmission risk being hugely reduced being outside. (Just don't stand within a foot of your neighbor across your fence talking face-to-face for an hour - was it in Japan?)

Being into leather, I definitely second the motion to make the hood black leather, but in a darkroom, it doesn't matter.... Considering the pup culture, you could style the front. Hell, why aren't there current pup hoods modified with air filtration? Some of those hoods stick out a lot already - plenty of space for a filter.

Some people are really worried about touching things, but I'm not. I consider risk for SARS-CoV-2 transmission analogous HIV risk this way. Touch is like unprotected oral. Sharing air and breathing in close proximity is like unprotected anal. The risks for the two viruses are not identical, but the way SARS-CoV-2 has spread, if it were easy for transmission to occur by touch, I think we would have heard about it by now.

I think touch is less risky for the same reason that being outside is less risky - dilution. Don't have numbers, but take a simple case - imagine a grocery stocker sneezing onto a box of cereal. If I grab the box right where the snot was deposited, how much transfers from the box to my hand? Half? Now, my hand touches my cart handle. Some transfers to the cart handle. Half of that? Now I grab other groceries, maybe shuffle things in the cart, but then definitely touch EVERYTHING again at the end to check out. Do I grab the cereal box in the same place to put it on the belt as I did to take it off the shelf? Where is the virus that was on that cereal box that I touched? Can it be in sufficient quantity/density to be contagious? As long as I'm not sticking my fingers up my nose or otherwise giving the virus an easy way to get into my respiratory tract, the risk is lower. Viruses (unlike bacteria) don't reproduce outside a compatible hosted environment (like lungs). Viruses don't reproduce on or leap off the cereal box. They get spread out and diluted.

I'm poly; I have a few local lovers, and I have been with two in recent months, along with one hookup with a repeat a few days later. My partner and I are higher-risk, as is one of my two lovers. When I was with my higher-risk lover, I poked at his risk tolerance for BB. He's 100% safe-only, and I only fuck BB so we don't fuck; we do other things. He knows I'm on PrEP. When we played last month, I asked about fucking BB and his answer was still "no." I didn't push it with him, but this was toward the end of our time together, after spending two hours kissing, sucking, fondling each other, in his bedroom, with no noticeable air flow. We had risked transmitting SARS-CoV-2 in the way bareback fucking risks HIV. I hope he'll understand that at some point - would be fantastic to fuck him and have him fuck me....

I was with my other lover over the weekend while my partner was in Las Vegas. My partner goes to play video poker, which is solitary, and the protocols were good and enforced, so it seems the risks were fairly low. (I disagree with the protocol about moving a mask to sip a drink or take a drag off a cigarette, because touching the mask so much adds risk, but that's what they require....)

I spent many hours with my lover, while my partner was by himself, spaced out, in a huge casino. What are the comparable risks? I know my lover has reduced risk at work (office job with good protocols that he enforces). For my partner, the airplane was sparsely filled. My partner knows what I did. He got his jollies and I got mine. We think we're managing the risk fairly well....

I thought about making a private glory hole as a risk reduction strategy. I would consider a glory hole experience relatively safe. Being in a glory-hole booth in a bathhouse or adult arcade, however, is different. I'd want to know how recently it was occupied before I walked in....

Outdoor fun is winding down in the higher latitudes of the northern hemisphere. What are guys doing now? Plans for moving it indoors through the winter?

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  • 4 weeks later...

Now that we are in the midst of the second wave, I have stopped looking for sex. Period. Yes, as someone said here, we shouldn’t hold other people but ourselves responsible for our own health. It would be very dangerous to me if I get infected because of my underlying health conditions;(-. 

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4 minutes ago, SoCalBBversbttm said:

Just curious, what if a potential hookup told you that they had tested positive for the covid antibodies.  Would you go through with the hook up?

But they're not infectious. I probably would. But there's so much that's not known about this virus, so it's iffy.

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I think I would too.  People who were covid positive and then tested positive for the antibodies are being contacted for use of their blood plasma to use in a cure.  So I think that that would make it safe enough.  Maybe it’s wishful thinking on my part

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Check the numbers in your area. No kissing. Mask the whole time. Stay away from groups. Should use a condom for sucking.

I waited until the numbers were low and things were opening up before I started hooking up. Wanted to try it in this window before a second wave hit and everything shut down for another 6 months.

A regular party host hosted something in a park and invited everybody on his email list. I went to that. There were at least 30 guys in the park late at night. It was 50/50 on mask-wearers vs those not wearing masks.

I wore my mask the whole time and stood away from the groups (most of the guys were clustering in groups and didn't seem to care. There was a lot of heaving breathing and even some kissing). I met another guy wearing a mask who was standing away from the groups  too so he looked like he actually cared about being safe, and took off my mask just to suck him , then put it back on. Did the same the next night. I bought condoms with me and planned to use it even when sucking but didn't get to use them for that.

Later met a cumdump in his home. He was blindfolded, no mask. I kept my mask on the whole time. No kissing. 

Party hosts are starting to host more with precautions at hotels and outdoors. I'm thinking about going. Will wear a mask, use condom for sucking and mostly just bottom.

 

Edited by breakland
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I have been careful since March and not had sex . It’s reached the point where I am now talking to my regular partners about meeting . My worry is not actually for me but older people who are more at risk as I prefer  older guys. I think balance is needed. 

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On 7/4/2020 at 2:54 AM, ErosWired said:

And your point is... ?

Your post essentially said, “I’m not responsible for risk to anybody but myself, and I take precautions except when I don’t.”

Okay, fine. Then it would be reasonable, don’t you agree, to expect you not to seek medical treatment at a hospital when you eventually catch the coronavirus? Those medical workers aren’t responsible for your risk, are they? Aren’t they responsible for looking after their own safety? Why should they try to keep someone like you from dying if it puts them at risk? I mean, you chose to roll the dice, so you should accept the consequences, right?

You’re full of judgement, which makes no sense. 
If I drive in the snow and get into a bad accident, should I not seek medical treatment?

 My point was exactly about risk. There’s always risk with any activity ... there’s reckless and minimize risk. 

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It would be awesome if the world was filled completely with selfless people that looked their their fellow human beings and would isolate themselves when they are sick with covid, but that is a laughable fantasy. I haven't been with a guy since pre-pandemic. Yes, it sucks and I have spent A LOT of time on the story forums on this site in a feeble attempt to compensate! But I won't risk catching then transmitting covid to a loved one simply because I couldn't keep my pants pulled up. Being "stealthed by covid" could affect people I care about, and that is unacceptable to me.

Hopefully there is a vaccine soon, but until then, keep the stories coming!

Edited by YourNoLimitsBottom
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  • 4 weeks later...
On 5/18/2020 at 5:53 PM, SoCalBBversbttm said:

I live in Los Angeles and the Mayor announced last week that while some things would be opening, “Safer at home” would continue to August.  We started lockdown in mid March.  We also have to wear masks while outside your home not just for grocery stores and medical offices - everywhere.  My husband and I discussed bringing in a trusted third for an exclusive sex relationship.  It would be a closed loop relationship for the three of us.  He has also been quarantined and we feel that we can trust him.  It would include all aspects of sex, including, Yikes - kissing.  He is mulling it over, but sees no reason not to do it.  It wouldn’t be forever, but until things get a little less crazy, it’s a form of safe play for the three of us.

This sounds highly ethical to me. 

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