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I went for a night out with a few friends. We went to a pub for a few pints then a bar for a few more drinks. We got to the bar a little drunk, but were allowed in. We sat at a table and went up to order some stuff. When ordering my drink I started talking to this guy sitting by the bar. He was probably about 25, looked like a football (soccer) lad. Tall and slim. A mix of cute and hot. I was definitely into him. We spoke for a little while before he offered to buy me a drink. Of course I couldn't say no and graciously accepted. He softly smiled at me as I took a sip and asked if I was into guys. I told him I was and he asked if I wanted to give him a helping hand. I could see his erection through his trousers. I nodded and followed him out the bar then down an alleyway where he pulled his trousers down once out of site. I crouched down and slid his cock out of his underwear, a 7inch uncut penis sprung out. It was a thing of beauty, I couldn't resist and started stucking it. I licked the length of his shaft and tried my best to get it down my throat. He started to moan and play with my hair which turned me on more than I could imagine. He held onto my cheeks up lifted my head up so we met eyes. He smirked and called me a slut which only got me even more horny. He asked if I wanted him to fuck me. I just nodded and asked about lube and condoms. He pulled a small bottle of lube out his coat pocket but said he didn't have condoms. I smiled and told him it was fine to go raw. I got up and leant against the wall before revealing my naked ass and presenting it to him. He put lube on his fingers and slid them into me, making my insides ready for his cock. He rubbed his cock head against my hole before slowly pushing in. I let out a grunt before my hole let him in. He let out a moan as he slid in as far as possible then grabbed my hips. "Fuck me pls" I softly moaned out to him. He then started thrusting in and out, using my hole. Idk how long it lasted, all I knew is that I was having a great time. My cock was leaking cum and my moans were only turning him on more. He then slowed down and asked if I wanted his cum in my hole. I said yes and he started thrusting hard before burying deep and letting out some grunts. I could just about feel his cock pulse as he shot his load deep in me. He slowly pulled out and gave my ass a soft slap. He thanked me for helping his night come to a perfect end, zipped up and walked off. I reached behind and felt my loose wet hole. I pulled my trousers back up and went back to the bar. I sat there with my friends with a strangers cum slowly leaking out my hole. When I got home a little later I jerked off thinking about the whole experience! Wow, first time I've done something like this with someone who I've met at a bar. But I loved it!

Part 4 Stu: I came to and smiled back at Danny who was looking at me intently. If he didn’t have a big smile on his face, I would have thought he was pissed at me for fucking him. “You ok?” I asked and he replied “Hell, yeah.” He then asked if he was ok, since it was his first time with a guy. I laughed and then told him he was much more than “ok.” I told him I was sorry, but we weren’t going to get to do “more” today and he laughed. We talked and he asked some questions about things we did and how he could be better. About all I could offer was to keep practicing and find out what works best for him and to listen for cues from his partner. We got up from the bed a little while later and headed to the shower. I watched him drip a trail of cum across the floor and couldn’t help but laugh. He apologized and I told him that he shouldn’t - it was a sign that he got his partner off and that most bottoms consider it a badge of honor. I wasn't going to tell him about wet spots on the rear of his jeans as he walks home from a hookup or the baths. He would learn soon enough. We showered and I had him push out most of the cum in his ass. He looked a little sad as he watched it go down the drain. We found our clothes and put them on before walking back upstairs. “Thanks, Stu. You don’t know how much this meant to me” he said as we got to the door. “My pleasure, Danny” I replied. He gave me a big hug and a quick kiss and then turned to open the door. “Same time tomorrow?” I asked and he quickly responded “Oh yeah!” —— Danny: When Stu woke back up, he asked me if I was OK. I gave him an enthusiastic “Hell yeah” and then paused. I then asked him if I was a “good fuck, for my first time.” He reassured me that I was better than ok and I hoped he was being honest. I had never asked my sex partner how I was before and wasn’t sure if he was telling me the truth or telling me what I wanted to hear. I guess I would find out in the next few days. If he wanted to have sex again, I must have really been ok. If not, then I will know I sucked. We got up to go shower in the one he had set up in the basement. It was an open shower with no walls on it. There were several drains in the floor and a few shower heads. As I walked over there I could feel the cum drip out of my butt and down my legs. I tried to clench my butt to hold it all in but I couldn’t. Stu actually laughed at me and I told him I was sorry. He told me that it was normal and it was a good thing. Part way through the shower he told me to squat and push out the cum so it didn’t drip out on my way home and in front of my parents. I squeezed most of it out, but I wanted to keep some of it inside me. It just felt so good knowing I had another man’s seed inside me. We got dressed and when I got upstairs I sniffed to see if I could smell cum, but thankfully I couldn’t. I told Stu how much I appreciated him giving me my first gay sex experience. I gave him a hug and kiss and he asked me if I was going to come over the next day. I told him yes and then headed back home. I was really happy as I walked home, having one big question in my life answered. I was gay. Not bisexual, not straight. I was meant to have sex with other men. I would just have to figure out when and how to tell my parents and friends. My parents seemed to notice my happier than normal demeanor at dinner and even commented about it. I just told them it had been a good day with great weather and I was starting to get excited about heading to college. It seemed to satisfy them and they didn’t seem to notice my fidgeting in my chair during dinner from my aching hole. The pain was real and I know it got a lot of abuse earlier but I loved every second. —— Stu: It had been a while since I had taken a guy’s virginity and Danny had probably been the best. He was eager and seemed to enjoy whatever I tried. I was a little concerned when he had hugged and kissed me before he left. I hoped he wasn’t getting too attached and was thinking that we were going to have anything other than a sexual relationship. I guess we were already friends so maybe it would be a fuck buddy relationship. There was also the issue of the viral load I had just pumped into him. I'm not sure how potent it is, but there are a few more poz guys in the burbs now that I've moved here and stopped my meds. Up to now, the florist has been the most fun since he's a real slut that can never get enough dick and gets fucked by at least a dozen guys regularly, but I think he's on PrEP. Now I had Danny and while he was going to head off to college in 11 days, I needed to work quickly. I didn't want to share him with any of the locals since I know how much these people gossip. No, it would be my dick that would be spending most of the time in his ass for the next week and a half. I wasn't going to push him too fast, but soon he'd be taking multiple loads each day inside that fertile boy pussy. With any luck he'd be shooting his own potent seed in his first month at State. —— Danny: The next day, I was over at Stu’s house and we worked on the last bedroom. He suggested I take my shirt off right away and to take my shorts off too so I was just wearing my jockstrap. He said he liked looking at my nearly naked body and I told him he had to do the same. It felt good having someone want to see me naked. I wondered if he found me sexy or just liked to be around naked guys. We worked up a good sweat and ended up leaving the boxes for the trash in the kitchen since we didn’t want to parade outside nearly naked for the neighbors to see. At one point he pulled his phone out and snapped a few pictures of me. We got a little silly and took pictures like they do for the cases of porn videos. I was leaning against the wall with my ass pushed out, bent over the bed, foot on a box showing my spread butt. Stu even took a few more normal pics I could use for an online profile including a few nude pics. He really liked watching me stroke my cock to get it hard for another couple pictures. Stu looked at me and asked “Mind if I send a couple of these to some buddies of mine? I won’t show your face.” “Sure" I replied. He picked out three and then added them to a group chat on his phone. I saw a few of the other pictures that other guys had sent and they were really hot. The pics he sent were me bent over the bed, spread against the wall and a closeup of my bruised hole with a caption of “tapped this 20yo virgin yesterday.” I was proud that he wanted to brag about fucking me to his friends. A few minutes later a few messages came in. Stu showed them to me - “you gonna share?” “nailed him good" "can he walk?” and “I’m next.” “We’ll take a few action shots tomorrow. You should keep those hidden on the sites and send them out only to guys that are really serious about meeting” he told me. “Why tomorrow?” I asked since I was hoping we could fuck again that day. “I figured you would be too sore for anything today” he replied. I grinned back at him and said “I guess we’ll find out.” He grabbed my hand and led me down the hall to his bedroom. —— Stu: I was happy when he showed up the next day, eager to work. As much as I wanted to just spend the afternoon fucking his brains out, I didn't want him to think that was all I was interested in. I did want to see if he was up for more, so I suggested he work in just his jockstrap and flipflops. It proved easier than I thought, but he said he'd only do it if I did too. He looked hot walking around in just his jockstrap getting sweatier by the second. The pouch of his jockstrap was pretty full the entire time, so I knew he was turned on. We played around a little while we cleaned up one of the bedrooms. It was mostly grab-ass types of play, but we did suck each other for a minute or two and I got to rim his sweaty ass briefly. We took a break and were drinking some water when I suggested taking a few pictures for him to put up on his profiles. It didn't take long and we got carried away, taking campy photos like they use for porn promo shots. He looked damn hot sticking his ass out, stroking his cock, playing with his nips and sensually licking his lips. I sent him all of the pics and then asked if I could share a few of them with some of my buddies. He agreed without thinking much about it and I picked three good ones that were sure to get my friends eager to pound his ass. It didn't take long and there were replies in the group message and I showed them to Danny. He seemed surprised that my friends all wanted to fuck him. I also got a few private messages asking for more sordid details and one guy even offered me $500 to let him poz Danny. Gio was a little pissed when I said "no" and told him it was going to be my seed that does the deed and he'd already taken the first load. When we finished up cleaning, I told Danny that we could take some action shots the next day. He could send them out to guys he was interested in meeting to prove he wasn't just talking a good game. He asked why tomorrow and when I told him I thought he might be too sore to fuck today he gave me a wicked smile and said "Let's find out!" I didn't need to be told twice and I dragged him to my bedroom. I gave him a little push toward the bed and he eagerly jumped up and had his ass hanging off the edge. "Where'd you learn that move?" I asked and he quickly replied "I've been watching some porn trying to learn what to do." -- Danny: I had spent most of last night thinking about our fuck. At first, I worried about Stu not using a condom, but then I remembered how good it felt when he shot his cum inside me. I'd never get that feeling if he covered his cock. And then I wondered if a latex covered cock would feel like the dildo I tried. His bare cock went in a lot easier than when I tried to push that dildo in. Maybe those girls would have liked sex with me more if I hadn't used a condom. I had decided the feeling of a uncovered cock was worth any risks. Besides, I was sure Stu was experienced enough to know how to avoid getting any sexually transmitted diseases. My dreams that night were just replays of Stu fucking me and I woke covered in cum. I jumped on his bed and looked around. This time I knew a lot more about Stu than I did the last time I was in his bedroom and figured that Stu had probably fucked all of the guys in the pictures. I saw him set his phone down on the nightstand. I almost shot my load right away when he rubbed his damp, sweaty jock over my face. The only scent it was missing was his cum, but it had plenty of his sweat and a trace of piss. He stuffed the jockstrap into my mouth and then began licking my ass. The ring on his cock pushed against my hole and I relaxed, wanting to feel his dick back inside me. Stu didn't spend much time stretching my hole open, he just got my hole soaked in spit and drove his shaft in. I was still sore from the fuck the day before and he wasn't nearly as gentle as last time. I kind of liked it though and thought that he was now treating me like one of his usual bottoms. Maybe it was just me rationalizing it to alleviate my fears of being a bad sex partner. A few times he got too rough and I cried out. Each time, he would back off and try something different. It seemed like he was trying to make it just as pleasurable for me as it was for him. There was no reason that him pounding his bare cock into my ass should feel that good, but it did. We moved into a few positions, each making his cock jab into new places inside me. I knew my cock was leaking and was happy that it was mostly dripping on the floor instead of the bed. Stu laid on my back and I felt his sweaty chest stick to my equally sweaty back. He asked if I wanted him to cum in me again and I yelled out "Oh fuck yeah!" and "Please! Fill me up!" but the spit soaked jock that was in my mouth just turned it into nothing intelligible. A couple seconds later I just screamed out "MMM... HMM" and he seemed to understand that. He fucked harder and then started to shoot his cum inside me again. I could feel his cock pulse around my ass ring and it went on forever. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me up so we were standing, his cock still deep inside me. Stu slowly pulled the spit covered jock out of my mouth and I immediately told him how good it felt. He asked if I wanted more and like a greedy puppy I told him yes. As much as I wanted to experience fucking a partner, I also loved the feeling of a cock drilling me until it filled my gut with cum. -- Stu: He was on his knees on the bed and gave me a little butt wiggle. It was cute to see how eager he was to be my fuck toy again. I clicked record on my phone's camera and set it down, leaning it against the picture frame I'd spent a half hour positioning to get a good view of a bed fuck. Peeling off my sweaty jock, I rubbed it over his face and then stuffed it into his mouth. I pushed him on to his stomach before slapping each ass cheek. Prying them apart, I dove in and was rimming his ass again. The day before he seemed to really enjoy it and I did too. Just like yesterday, the pleasure was secondary and my main goal was to give him just enough spit to let my dick get into him. The jock in his mouth was only partially successful in muffling his moans and I was happy the A/C was on and the windows were closed. Once he was slick, I climbed up his body and dragged my cock along the crack before entering him. I left the piercing laying on his hole a moment and then pushed in. It took another harder shove before my cock had driven past the outer ring and was now inside Danny's tight chute. Danny yelled out and I stopped, letting his bruised ass get used to my cock again. With only spit for lube, it wasn't going in as easy as the day before. I reached under him and started playing with his nips and barely a minute later he was pushing his ass up, trying to get more of my dick inside. The pause had let some of my precum coat his chute and I started plowing in. It took some work initially, but as he stretched out and got slicker I could fuck harder and deeper. About ten minutes later, I pulled him off the edge of the bed. His chest was flat on the bed, his feet flat on the floor and his butt was begging for me to shove my dick back in. I knew I should have been gentler on him, but I fucked him like most of the more experienced guys I did. When I got too hard, he did yell out, but he took it pretty well. The roughness of our fuck would make him more receptive to my tainted seed, too. I leaned over his back and continued drilling him. Now, I could feel his moans in addition to hearing them. "Getting close Danny, want me to breed you again?" I groaned into his ear. He tried to speak, but with the jockstrap still stuck in his mouth just gibberish came out. "What?" I asked, chuckling to myself. A distinct "MMM HMM" came out of his mouth. I pounded him harder and his moans gave way to grunts until I planted my cock into him and felt my cock shoot volleys of cum into his battered tunnel. My chest was heaving after I had finished breeding him a second time. I wrapped my arms around his chest and pulled him with me as I stood up, my cock still inside him. When we were upright, I pulled my jock out of his mouth. "Oh fuck! I can't believe how good that felt. I didn't want it to end" Danny said. "You want more?" I asked, sounding very surprised. "Yeah I do. I mean... if you want to. I'll understand if I'm not as good as the guys you're used to fucking" he replied. -- Danny: It felt good to be filled with cum again but I wasn't sure why. He asked if I wanted more and of course I said yes but then told him I probably wasn't as good as the guys he was used to fucking. He laughed and told me I had nothing to worry about. "You're learning quick. Your eagerness just shows that you found your true self" Stu said. We laid on the bed a bit. I licked some of the cum off his cock and played with the piercing again. It was a challenge to keep my ass clenched shut to hold the huge load of cum he filled me with, but I loved the sloppy feeling. A little later, Stu crawled between my legs and pushed his stiff cock back into my cum filled hole. This time he was a lot gentler but my ass was really sore when a half hour later he growled and shot more cum inside me. We laid there a while afterwards and he saw me fidgiting, trying to not let his cum run all over the bed. He figured out what I was doing and a minute later was eating my ass again, trying to suck some of the cum out. I really wanted to keep it all in, but his tongue just kept digging more and more of it out. Stu suddenly stopped and moved back next to me and gave me a long kiss. When he pushed some of the cum into my mouth I was shocked. I had tasted my own cum a lot of times but this tasted a lot different. There was a little coppery taste to it and it seemed sweeter than mine too. We kept passing it back and forth, adding our spit each time. He pulled away from our kiss, leaving the cum in my mouth. "Swallow" he said to me with a grin. I savored the load on my tongue one last time and swallowed it down. It was one of the most erotic things I'd ever done. "Lets go shower. You should get home soon. I don't want to piss off your parents" Stu said. We made it into the upstairs bathroom and he then told me I could empty the load in the shower. I told him "I want to keep it in until I go to sleep" and was unsure how he'd respond. He winked at me and told me to stay right there and went back to the bedroom. A couple minutes later he came back with a short dildo with a skinny part at one end before a wide base. Stu bent me over and pushed it into my ass and once the wide part was past my ring, it sucked itself the rest of the way in. "Bring it back tomorrow, but that plug should hold all of that cum inside until your body absorbs it" he told me.

No posts recently as I've been enjoying Berlin Leather Fetish weekend. On the train from Alexanderplatz to Nollendorfplatz (where most of the events are), two guys are sat a few seats away. They have voices that kinda carry and speaking English they stand out to me. I gather from the conversation they are both living/working in the city for a period and hooked up last night. #1: Hey we should go to "Der Boiler" (Sauna) tomorrow - it'll be fun. #2: Maybe not - its leather weekend over Easter. #1: So, it'll be busy? #2: Those fetish guys will be around and they will totally ruin it. They only dress up in the fetish gear because it's like putting on a costume to try and polish a turd. #1: Yeah, I know. Hate that. My thoughts: Gay men have been discriminated against for so long but why do we find it so easy to turn on each other like that? Most guys dress in fetish gear because it turns them on - I think there likely are a few who benefit from what it can hide, but it's not the reason people are into it. If you try shopping for fetish gear it is very hard to get anything in larger sizes or cut for the 'fuller figure', especially in London and Berlin. Made to measure is the only option. and lastly, Fuck 'em: I'm about to get my gear on and head out to Woof for the afternoon. Not only polishing this turd, but rolling it in glitter and enjoying every minute.

I was in my late 20s and had been a total condom nazi for years. I met a guy through a personal ad who supposedly only wanted head. He was a short, thin Hispanic man in his 40s. He was unremarkable looking, but he had a big, uncut piece - at least 8.5" long and almost 7" around. We started with him on the couch and me between his knees sucking. Soon he had maneuvered me into 69 on the couch. Eventually, we ended up with our positions reversed - I was on the couch with my legs in the air, and he had his tongue all the way inside me. No one has ever given me a better rim job than him. After eating me out for 15 minute or more, he pulled me towards him and slid his cock inside me with no lube other than his spit. Despite that, I never felt anything except intense fullness and pleasure; he had opened me up so well I could take that huge dick without any discomfort. I hate telling this part, but after a few moments, I freaked when I realized he was in me bare. He was nice enough about it and put on a condom. He gave me a good hard fuck, and we agreed we wanted to meet again. A couple of weeks later he fucked me at my house again with a rubber. About a week later (it was actually Easter Sunday in 1992), he called and wanted to hookup. My roommate had people over, so I couldn't host. He invited me to his house. I was happy to make the drive. We started out pretty much like the first time with a long 69 session - me on his cock and him up in my ass with his tongue. This time, he had poppers for me; I know some of you remember, but they were hard to come by in the early 90s. I hadn't had any in a year or more. They hit me hard, and I was totally lost in the pleasure of the rim job. He got up to go fetch a condom from the bedroom. While he was gone, I took a big hit of poppers. As I rode the rush, I thought about how good he felt in me bare the first time. When he got back, I asked him if we could just fuck without the condom. He threw it across the room like it was hot. He slid into me just with both our spit for lube, and soon I was taking my first known load in 5 years. We were fuckbuddies for years after that. Even after I finished grad school and moved away, I would always come see him when I was back in town to get an excellent rim job and one of his loads. We always fucked bare with only our spit for lube, and he always had poppers for me to make sure I was willing.

Workin at job site today, got hit up on grindr by a cub that was a couple miles away and wanted a blowjob and maybe to fuck. Told him i could stop by on my lunch hour. He asked if i get fucked raw, said fuck yes i do and he gave me his hotel info. Stopped by an hour later and went right to his hotel room. He opened the door in just his underwear, we groped and i quickly got on my knees, pulled down his underwear, and started sucking his cock. Was a thick 7 inches. He instantly got rock hard and after a minute pulled down my jeans and underwear and wanted to see my big hairy ass. I bent over and put a gob of lube on my hole and he couldnt wait to push his cock head in. He pulled his cock head out and added some spit and pushed back in. Fucked me for about a minute and said he was gettin close cause my tight ass is really milking his cock and pulled out. I told him shove that cock back in my ass and keep fuckin. He fucked me balls deep for another 30 seconds and moaned and unloaded deep in my ass. Stayed in my ass until he got soft and slipped out. I pulled up my jeans and zipped up and went back to job site. Still have his load soakin in my guts a couple hours later. If the other guys only knew how much of a cum pig i am id be servicing them too.

An arse like yours should be fucked....often!

I met this guy on line. He was 53 He was coming to D C and asked me to join him. we spent the day looking at the sites and had a nice dinner. He asked me if I wanted to go to his hotel. we went and things got hit and heavy. He was a top but he said he only fucked with condoms He played some and then he rubbed his bare dick on my ass. He was reaching for a condom when he suddenly went in me bareback. He said it felt so good would I mind he continued bare. He pounded me for 10 min and then I heard him moan and felt him cum. he fucked me two more times. he the asked me to stay the night. In the morning I felt his bare dick going in me. He said good morning and fucked me again I got his morning load. said next time he is in DC we will fuck again

Chapter 14 The Pig looked around and didn’t see many guys so he decided he would check out the basement to see what all was going on there. He figured a quick look wouldn’t hurt. When he walked down the steps he could hear the sound of sex. Guys moaning and the unmistakable sound of cocks getting serviced. He had watched enough porn to recognize this. He stopped on the 3rd last step to look around and see what all was going on. There were mostly red lights and it took a moment for his eves to adjust. There were several guy engaged in different forms of sex. Guys sucking each other. There was a guy bending over a padded bench while another guy was fucking him. This really excited the Pig. The Kid that was sucking on his cock was being tied into a sling. He thought that maybe he could get in the Kid’s ass or make him to finish sucking him. He though to himself that he would love to tear up that little shitter on the Kid’s ass. Make him scream when he broke him. With all these thoughts and what he was seeing the Pig was really getting horny, more than ever before. It was about that time that someone walked down behind him and brushed up against the Pig’s ass. It felt like electric going through him. Who ever it was must have figured that because he stopped and stared playing with the Pig’s 6” cock and fingering his ass. The Guy stopped for a minute and then put his finger back in the Pig’s ass. This time the Lube was a lot warmer. It stared burning him. He tried to pull away and the guy pulled the Pig closer and whispered to relax. It will feel much better very soon. With that the guy pushed his finger as deep as he could get it up the Pig’s ass. After a few minutes the room started getting hotter and his head was spinning around. He remembered being helped down the steps with the Finger planted deep in his overheated ass. A lot of what happened that night was a blur. He could only remember bits and pieces of the action. He remembered being bent over that raised bench and played with. He was Fucked and things being pushed up his ass, he remembered that they hurt and felt like they were cutting him. He remembered the burning sensation in his ass. He also remembered the wonderful feeling after the stuff went in. He remembered glimpses of being in the sling. He thought he remembered a pinch on his arm and then everything seems to come together in a way he could not remember what was fantasy and what was real. He remembered different guys facing him and one guy with a large cock trying to stuff it up his ass. He thought that someone might have gotten a fist in his ass but wasn’t sure. He remembered the Kid getting behind him and fucking the hell out of him. It hurt and the Kid who what seemed like just a little while ago was going to get his nut was calling him names. He did remember the Kid commented on his cock size. It was shriveled up to almost nothing. He felt his ass hole rip when the Kid came. The pain and then the flooding of that Kids sperm filling his ass. He remembered when he walked up the steps the Kid suggested he look for Frank to help him if he was still horny. After the Pig got upstairs he checked his hole. It was tender and open. If was somewhat closed but he could push 4 fingers in his ass with no trouble. It was apparent that he may have lost his fist fuck cherry. This was something he had fantasized about but it always hurt to much. His 4 fingers not only got in but felt good. He was standing in the shower checking his ass and a guy came in and started cleaning up in the next shower. The guy saw him checking the damage and walked over, pulled the Pig’s hand away and proceed to run his course finger in the Pig’s sensitive ass. Without thinking he arched his ass and tried to open for more. The guy told him he could help him. The Pig hadn’t noticed until then but the guy was extremely thin with a bigger belly. He also had a nice size cock. The guy began to dry the Pig and suggested he go to his room for more great feelings. The Pig remembering that the guy said his name was Frank. It was probably the same guy that the Kid suggested. He remembered the guy bending him over and putting lube in his ass. He did remember it burning like no other. He also remembered the guy fucking him easy at first but it seemed to quickly change into an ass raping fuck. Frank was trying to damage the Pig’s sensitive ass. When it was over Frank left the door open and the Pig laying on his stomach with his ass pointing at the door for anyone to see his ripped bloody asshole. It was as if he way floating on a cloud, he remembered getting played with but not much else. The pig woke up hours later. Got dressed and left

That’s fucking awful. It’s unfortunate that your experience was not unusual back then. Once word gets out fear of association turns things ugly as if the only option for the predators is a demonstration of violence or bullying to prove they never wanted to do it to begin with. The lies they have to tell themselves to hide their willing participation (mostly from themselves) breeds anger. And even now it adds insult to injury that the general belief is that if a soldier is assaulted it’s their own fault somehow. I have tried to avoid the darker aspects, or dance around them, of being gay in the military back then in the hopes that I wouldn’t stir up too many painful memories but I tend to blame leadership the most for what happened and continues to happen. They set the tone, they determine what is acknowledged, accepted, and allowed. A hands off NCO, a distant or mission focused Officer sends the message that the complex social aspects of commanding a unit isn’t a function of command, when it fucking well is and I know for a fact from my Dad that Officers are actually taught at length about managing the individuals under their command. And ignoring it only means you leave that sort of thing up to troops who have been taught that judging the subtleties of the UCMJ or unit behavior isn’t their concern which leaves street justice as the most common go-to. ‘The Army doesn’t care about your personal problems, Private, figure it out or we’ll figure it out for you. And you won’t like our way of figuring it out.’ I’ve known many types of Senior NCOs and Officers. Not all were competent in their command. In fact, the good ones were rare. Selection for promotion and placement is heavily weighted towards time, personal accomplishment and performance often ignoring how they got it done. No, the military shouldn’t be some feel good happy place, there’s too many idiots, fuck-ups, whiners and slackers for that. But there’s also the assholes, predators, and bullies who perform well but are never corrected or disciplined for how they do more to ruin a unit’s morale than any cocksucker could ever do.

same here on my back seeing their pleasure as much as they can see yours

I was in Dallas this week and had several sucks n fucks! and general slutty fun. 1st guy was from BBRT and handsome and I wanted to fuck his ass but he seemed high so I left blue balled. Shame! 2nd guy popped in from Sniffies. He sent a cute, innocent looking face pic: clean cut & smooth mouth watering red lips, young 30something tall n slim. Then he sends a dick pic with massive low hangers. And asks he can cum over. I had gotten all ready and he msgs: "Can you be bare assed up on the couch like your pic?" "I can be ass up on edge of hotel bed, yeah" I said. "Great. That will make me hard" I actually wanted to suck on this guy's cock and low hangers but OK. I prop hotel door open, he says here's parked, and finally I hear the door slam as he entered. True to his word he says nothing and walks up to my ass, drops his pants, and I peek to see his smooth muscular legs. I reach back to jerk his cock, he's half hard, and has plenty of foreskin! Damn I want to suck him! Then I hear him open a condom. Dammit. But I'm horny from how quickly he arrived hard so bend over more. He rams his cock in my hole! no fingering, no lubing up, no rimming -- and I moan -- I'm not professional btm and he's hitting it fast. He starts pounding and slapping my cheeks. I reach under to feel up his hangers and he's got them in a cockring. He makes me grab his thighs and pull his cock in deeper. Next then I know, he's spanking my ass a lot, pounding harder, and then -- he grabs my hair and pulls my head back! Damn! He's very aggressive pulling! And I feel his cock swelling up inside my hole! well damn, this guy said nothing about being aggressive! It's making his cock swell up BIG now. Next thing I know he furiously pounding my ass and I hear him moan. His cock is filling up that condom. He pulls his covered cock out, pulls on his pants, and leaves. I find the used condom in the trash, full of cum, and finger his cum into my hole. His Sniffy chat pops up and says: "Nice ass. You around tomorrow morning again?" 🐷😁 3rd guy I was hoping to actually fuck. His Sniffies profile was a nice round Lainto jocked ass. My cock jumped. But no, he's not prepped to get fucked, and coming from work 😐he messages: "you up for getting fucked?". "OK" I say not to enthusiastic. This guy had not shared any pics besides his butt. He says, "OK I'm not big but will load up your ass". Hot! I tell him, " I thought your profile looked slutty". Hehe. So cums over to my hotel, short cute Rican, 40something, I underess him out of very nice suit, and he does have a small soft dick, so I go down on my knees to suck him. This starts to get him hard so I move him to the couch, get in-between his legs, and get his eyes closing up and rolling back into his head. He moans a lot from getting sucked. His dick ain't big but is rock hard so I swing around and sit on his bare dick reverse riding. I start to bounce up and down on his dick -- next thing I know he's grunting loudly! Fuck yea! I encourage him to fill up my ass with his cum. "Damn man" he says with a big grin, " I did not expect to cum so fast.". I ask when he last came and he says several days ago. Overdue! He starts to get his suit back on, and I smack his cute ass. "You sure I can't fuck your ass?" I ask. No he says again he came straight from work. Oh well. He leaves and I walk outside to meet a coworker for dinner ... with 2 loads up my ass. 😈🐷 3rd guy hits me up after dinner. 40something, "bi", no face pic, slim shirted, and then he sends a smallish dick pic. "Suck n swallow?" he chats me. I'm still looking for ass to fuck but wth I'll shoot. He cums over after work, Polish looking guy, totally smooth, and immediately goes to couch and drops his pants. I get in-between his legs, and he demands I suck his dick hard around the head. He never touches me and so I don't touch anything but his cock. He quitely moans "Yea that's it, suck it harder!!" And moments later I feel his warm cum fill my mouth. His cum tastes sweet. After he jumps right up, zips up, and leaves. At least I got a sweet treat before bed. It's next morning now, my cock really needs to bust, a weeks worth of cum in me now! 4th guy -- has finally some ass to fuck! But I don't fuck him ... yeah yea. I'll explain. So he's an anon profile on Sniffies. Meh. But he's very insistent that he can cum over and meet in parking lot. OK. He chats me that wants to be rimmed n fingered. Oh! Good.😁 He heads over ... I ask for his face pic but he says he won't send it on Sniffies. Well turns out he's a very cute yng Jap ... maybe 25yo. We chat on the way to my room. He's very nervous. Mmm. But walking into the room I see his boner. So I grab his crotch and ask him "what that's all about". He says he's very horny and been watching porn. I pull my pants down and he grabs my cock. "Do you suck?" I ask him "No". well dammit! "OK do you like to get sucked?" and he says yes. So I go down on his cock. He has stereotypical "Asian cock" size that makes it easy to deep throat him. More importantly I feel up his plump tight Asian ass! I get him on the bed naked, still sucking his cock until my tongue slips down to his ass. This cutie then opens up his legs eagles for me to see his smooth ass and little hairy hole. I dive right into his ass! He's watching me rim him and occasionally moans. I try a finger in his hairy hole and he moans. His hole is tite! So I get him to roll over on his stomach so he can relax. Well damn, his 2 smooth mound of ass are beautiful to see in my face. I sink into his crack with my tongue and spread his cheeks to tongue deep. He then assists spreading his checks, so I grab lube and try a finger. He looks back at me a lot to see what I'm doing... ... back over on his back, I've managed 2 fingers in his tite hole. He closes his eyes a lot and then watches me. I decide this is how I'll make him bust. So with 1 finger in his hole, my thumb below his balls, and my mouth sucking his cock, I really get him going. After lots of sucking and fingering he blurts out: "I'm going to cum!" Mhmm, I say never letting off his dick. I feel his cum shoot out into my mouth. His cum tastes sweet too. His cock quickly deflates. "Wow that felt so good. I never knew it could feel that good" High praise! 😋 Then he says: "So now you want to ... you know ..." I'm like oh shit ... does he think I'm gonna be generous?! "You gonna fuck me" Oh! "You been fucked before?" I ask. "No I've never done any of this. I was just watching pork about it" Hmm, he did seem carless, leaving his wallet around to nab, and just shaky nervous. "Well, you'd have to clean up for me to fuck you". My fingers had already told me his ass was not cleaned out. "Oh" he says, "yes that makes sense". He was so innocent. So I didn't fuck him. Plus I don't like Begla. Chocolate. But I still felt dirty spoiling this yng cuties ass. 5th guy -- finally I FUCK some hot ass! Typical walk in blindfolded ass up doggy. He was also on Sniffies and shared his face pic. Handsome sexy stud with an incredible ass. So I Lyft to his house -- well it was more like a mansion, hah! Walk up and see thick muscular guy with big hairy quads n calves waiting on a big bed. Fuck! My cock jumped. Just right amount of manly hair on his 2 massive buttcheeks too. He also had a thick cock that was jockstrapped in. I looked so slim compared to him in the mirror by his bed, 🤓! I nose dive into his ass. My dick got fucking hard from eating out his hole and hearing him beg for my cock. I spent a long time with my tongue up his hole because it's not everyday I get to fuck a hunk like him. I asked him to suck my cock. He swung around and DAMN! He sucked cock like a pro! No teeth, took his time, really worshipped my cock. I kept peeking over at his 2 massive buttcheeks as he sucked my cock. "You want to ride it?" I asked him. "No" he said in a masculine voice. "Give it to me from behind" Damn! Such a hot manly slut! He swung around and put his head into the bed. Needless to say I started furiously fucking this hunk. He was moaning deeply ... almost in pain. He asks to stop so he could take a hit of poopers. Guess he thought I was going to be a quick pump n go. Hah! No, I'm savoring this shit. As he takes several hits as I tasted my own precum in his hole! "You already been fucked?" I asked with my face half buried in his massive ass. "No." "I taste cum. It must be my precum" I explained. "Fuckin hot" he said. "I tell you how long it's been since I came?" I ask him. "No." "A week." I say. "So I've got a very big load to dump in your ass." "Do it." he tells me. That reply sent me down my final rough fucking. I selfishly pounded his ass hard and fast. He recoiled despite the poppers, so I grabbed his muscular arms and pulled him back towards my cock. His back arched and I saw his delts pop out as his cheeks bounced rapidly off my waste. "Yes this is what you wanted. Cock up your ass" I told him to expose what a big slut h was. "Give it to me" he mumbled with his face buried in the bed. "Here it cums man. I'm gonna fuckin breed your ass!" I blurted out. I let out a deep moan and felt my cock finally bursting up inside his hole. My panting was out of control. I'd been fucking his ass so hard it was a workout!! Finally, I slide down on his smooth arched back, and he repositioned from doggie to laying flat. I layed on top of him telling him how fucking great that felt. "You can take off the blindfold" I told him. "I've nothing to hide". Out pooped cute eyes from a mature handsome face. He rolls over and we chatted for probably an 1/2 hour after that. I won't go into details about him but let's just say I often get along with guys who've also previously fucked chicks and bred babies in their past lives. 😳 lol. Anyways, my balls were FINALLY empty. We'd fucked for 1hr! 😁🐷 I had get going so I could leave Dallas. Great time!

Chapter 13 His friend that was there at the start send a text massage and asked him if he got anymore fun after he left. The Pig replied that yes he did and he wouldn’t believe what all he got into. Little did he know that his friend was watching the live show and recording it. The Pig felt like crap for a couple days after his ordeal. His ass hole was sore for a few days. When he walked around he could feel his hole throbbing and felt like something was stuck in it still. When sat it felt like part of him was trying to fall out. He knew he had taken a lot of abuse in his ass and with the way he felt he didn’t want to repeat that for a while, if ever. He receiver emails from over 2 guys saying they would love to play with him or wishing they could get that Acton on them. By the end of the week he was craving some of that action again and figured it really wasn’t that bad after all. The craving was like no other feeling he had felt. It was a burning need deep in his guts. He emailed the guy that had the parties to see what all went on at them. The guy told him that he had just had a young guy novice a week or so ago and that the Kid wanted more but that the next party would not be for a while. The pig asked if he could get in on some of that action at the next party and the guy replied that afte5r seeing him on the app that they could definitely have some fun with this if he still wanted it when the next party was planned. The craving the Pig felt was intense. He contacted his friend to see if they could play again but he was going to be out of town for the next 2 weeks. Putting a vibrator up his ass and jerking didn’t get him to where he wanted anymore, something was always missing now. He vaguely remembered one of the guys talking about the bath houses in the next town. Parts of the conversations were foggy in his brain. He decided to try one of the bath houses to see if he could get someone to help with the itch deep in his ass. He went to one of the baths the next weekend. He had told his family that he had to go out of town for work and would be back early the following week. He got a motel room close to one of the baths and cleaned himself up and got ready to go. He got a room there and as getting ready when he found that he had forgot his hood. He wanted to use in in case anyone was there that cold recognize him. He wasn’t sure where he left it but he was cleaned and ready to pay and that craving was getting the better of him. He put a towel around his waist and stared walking around. He really felt self-conscious and would lot look anyone in the eyes. He was about to go back to his room when a young Kid smiled at him and grabbed his cock thru his towel. The Kid was really young. He looked to barely be 18. The Kid felt his 6” erection under the towel and immediately knelt down and to suck on his. The Pig loved this and was in heaven. That craving suddenly felt stronger, He loved this but needed more. With his towel on the floor he patted his ass and started rubbing it. He didn’t remember who did it but he felt a lubed finger worming up his ass. This felt great and was exactly hat he needed. He grabbed the Kids head and forced all his cock into the Kids mouth. The Kid gaged a couple times but didn’t stop. The Pig said “ Ok Kid, you like daddies cock in your mouth”? The Kid said “ Yes”. The Lubed finger was warming his hole up. He didn’t know what kind of lube it was but he thought he would have to Find out ad het some. The heat in his ass was getting stronger and he loved it. His starving ass was finally getting some of what it needed. His head was spinning ant he looked down at the Kid and said “ Suck it whore. Make me cum”. He was degrading the Kid and loved it. Little did he know that later that evening the Kid would be paying him back when he had him bent over taking the Kid’s toxic cock. The guy with the Finger up his ass pulled it out leaving an all to familiar empty feeling. The guy behind him said that he was going to the basement to have fun and left. The Kid heard that and stopped sucking the Pig’s cock, stood up and said “ That sounds fun “. The Kid walked down the hall leaving the Pig with that burning feeling deep in him and a cock throbbing in need. His case of Blue Balls was really getting to him. The Pig looked around and didn’t see many guys so he decided he would check out the basement to see what all was going on there. He figured a quick look wouldn’t hurt. When he walked down the steps he could hear the sound of sex. Guys moaning and the unmistakable sound of cocks getting serviced. He had watched enough porn to recognize this.

ASSMUNCH “You already know how.” Major Collins said. “You just need to learn how to do it deliberately and stay there.” Lamont and I sat with the Major on the mats in the gym. “Lamont, this will be new for you and don’t get frustrated if you can’t get it right away. Brickmann is way ahead of you. Your first step is to learn how to eliminate all external distractions and just focus on your mind.” It was the evening of the second day of Tower Week. We woke up at 0430 and started with PT. Of course breakfast. Then classes in which we learned all about failures and malfunctions that resulted in injury or death. The two most common assigned accident codes were "improper or abnormal exit" and "unstable or improper body position," which combined accounted for 33% of cases. Also noteworthy at 11% each were "entanglement," "parachute malfunction," and "dragged on the drop zone," and at 6% each were "static line injury," "lost or stolen air," (which collapsed your canopy so you just fell) and "drop zone hazard. (Trees, buildings, power lines)" In 69% of cases blunt force trauma was the cause of death. Blunt force trauma was the term used for hitting the aircraft on exit, mid-air collisions, and slamming into the ground. It was a sobering discussion. We were also instructed on how our 34 ft. Tower mass exit was to proceed. It was harder than it looked. Our practice down on the ground was understandably at half speed or less than what the actual expectation was. All of the elements of your exit had to happen continuously from clip in to shuffle to hand off to jump with no pause. The Jumpmaster almost pushed you out the door right behind the guy in front. I have to say not having the opportunity to over think it made it easier. Shark and Demon both learned the hard way to keep their chin onto their chest. It kept the back of you head away from your slips when your canopy deployed so the slip or static line wouldn’t get caught on your helmet and whip your head. They both looked like rag dolls going down the zip line after they got slip-whipped. We did jumps with gear and without. With gear was called a Combat Jump. Without gear was called a Hollywood Jump. And of course we did several of each with malfunctions and without. By the time we were halfway through the day, I didn’t think about falling anymore and just trusted I was attached. And 34 ft wasn’t a shock at this point. There were too many other things to focus on and get right. If you completed two satisfactory jumps of each type you were done. If you didn’t…well let’s just say you don’t need to clip in to jump off a bus at the airport. We were really pumped but tired after all that. Before heading to the gym again I had the Bravos study everything we had learned so far. Some of the brothers, like Bootlicker, studied alone. The rest of us studied in groups. Of course our honorary Bravos Potter, Battles and Lenger joined us. Only a handful of the other randoms remained in the barracks to study or do personal shit. The rest were off having fun somewhere on Ft. Benning or off post in the town. At this point in the Course, it seemed randoms were disappearing every day after failing to qualify. And now Lamont and I sat in front of Major Collins on the mats in a quiet corner of the gym. Now, that’s a relative term. If you ever been in a gym on post you know they aren’t quiet. Even if you didn’t have the squeak of tennis shoes on the wood floor, the shouts of soldiers playing basketball along with the thud of dribbling down the court there were the giant fans that roared on either end of the hangar roof along with standing area fans that sounded like twin prop aircraft, the constant opening and slam of various metal doors and the grunts and shouts plus weights slamming from the weight room whose doors stayed propped open. It was damn near a factory floor with all the noise. A factory of mostly men, and a few women building better bodies for battle. Base gyms were kind of a haven for the guys because women rarely ventured there even though there were female locker rooms. There were other fitness facilities that female soldiers liked to go to like swimming pools, outdoor tracks for running and (hahaha) jazzercise studios (Think unused rec space somewhere) An open hangar that smelled of sweat, with shouting men and constant noise didn’t seem to appeal to them. Good. Although it’s awesome checking out the women in their workout clothes it’s nice not having to worry about reining in our behavior or being distracted. Trust me, even bundled up in Army sweats they were a treat to look at. “Meditation isn’t magic, it’s about training your mind to focus.” The Major continued. “It helps you get past fear, anger, nervousness and all the emotions that interfere with clear judgment. A clear mind enhances body performance. Train your mind to absolute calm and you target better, you plan better, you perform better, and it can get you out alive. Let’s start with breathing.” He talked us through slow breathing using a 5 count inhale and a 5 count exhale and after a couple minutes he introduced the next step. “Starting with your toes you will slowly move upward over your entire body to shut out all conscious feeling. Keep your breathing slow and even. Focus on relaxing all your muscles. Imagine your blood flowing down and then up. Relax your toes. You have no muscles, no bones. Breathe in…breathe out…”. His voice was monotone, regular, smooth. “You have no toes. Only arches. Relax. Breathe.” Slowly he took us over our bodies to erase each connection until only our minds remained. Ankles, then several rounds of breathing. Shins and more breathing. Knees, thighs, hips, back, chest, shoulders, arms, hands, neck, and finally head. He told us to push everything left out the top of our heads. I felt nothing, I floated there in the darkness behind eyes that didn’t exist. My only thoughts were that I existed as a thought. I couldn’t say how long I stayed that way because time didn’t flow. Peace. Serenity. Being. Thinking back, it felt like that brief moment before waking up in which your mind says ‘I’m here’ but your body isn’t because it hasn’t been awakened by your mind yet. “Well done. Open your eyes and take a deep breath.” The Major’s voice intruded. When I opened my eyes, I saw the Bravos and the Charlies seated around us. I hadn’t even noticed they were there or when they’d come. It felt like just a few minutes had passed, maybe ten? I couldn’t tell but I could not have been gone that long, not long enough for all the guys to surround us. “Hey guys,” I said. “When did you get here?” I asked. “About ten minutes ago. We’re all done. It’s 2045 hrs. Time to head back.” Sleeper explained. What? Lamont and I were gone for more than an hour and a half? It didn’t feel that way. I glanced at Major Collins. He grinned. “That was a good first session. You both did well. Tomorrow we’ll practice this again. You should get a short workout in first. Meditation is good, but you can’t afford to skip conditioning. They go hand in hand. And although the workout will be short to leave us enough time for a lesson, I want you to push hard.” “Yes Sir.” Lamont and I said together. Being gone wasn’t new for me, but this was different. It was a little like the place where there was no me only I stayed aware. The place where there was no me let other things in and some things still existed there. I just wasn’t a part of it. In this new place, there was only me. I felt like there was an important connection way off in the gray murky depths of my thoughts. I couldn’t reach it. I was still lost in thinking my way through it all when I remembered that I forgot to talk to the Major about what Sleeper told me he said. The Major knew something. And if I was a paranoid person I’d think he actually sought us out from the beginning. But what was so special about us? And we still didn’t know why the Major was here at Ft. Benning, or what Battalion he was attached to, his command…nothing. It was clear that some of the other soldiers here knew him or knew of him. That alone indicated he was unusual in some way. A Marine Major on an Army Post? Except for Joint Operations you didn’t see that much at all. Was there a Joint Operation happening here at Benning? If Marines came to jump school they didn’t get their own liaison, they were subject to Army command for the duration of their stay here. So the Major wasn’t the Marine liaison and I didn’t think they’d have a Major doing that job anyway. There’s just a weird feeling you get when you meet certain Senior Officers or Enlisted that says they didn’t have some paper pushing job and weren’t ordinary. It was how they seemed to do what they wanted without looking over their shoulder. How they inserted themselves in situations like they weren’t reportable to anyone local. We never saw the Major during our training. In the gym no one approached him but many different soldiers recognized him judging from the looks and fast whispers. Nothing too long. It was always done with a glance, a hurried whisper, then a deliberate NOT looking and moving away. It was all very strange. *********** WEEBLE Thank the Lord that the Army pulled me out of Ft. Bragg and put this Alabama boy with the Bravos. I didn’t know why, I was 15F, Aircraft Electrician, and the Bravos didn’t have nothin to do with Aviation. I haven’t touched a single gunship since I was stationed with the Bravos. But electrical systems for other machinery aren’t all that different when you see them as an overall nervous system. At least not for me. Now, don’t get me wrong or nothin my job was great and I was really good at it. Helluva lot better’n some of the guys in my unit. I’m just a last biscuit of a guy at 5’3” 120 lbs. so I could squeeze into some pretty tight spots or work my hand through small openings. But my mama always said the last biscuit’s the best one. My small hands could move inside tight spots to unclip or re-clip wirin harnesses, use a hand tool like a screwdriver for the sixty seven hundred thousand screws or bolts holdin our deadly gunship together, and I seemed to have some kind of magic touch for anythin that needed nimble fingers. I could work just by feel a lot of the time. Our bird was the AH 64 - Apache Helicopter. Workin in the Apache machinery there wasn’t nothin that wasn’t tight or crammed together. And I could read a circuit board with a glance and field repair anythin wrong with em. But my previous unit had become hell for me. Word had gotten around that I was a homo and the guys I thought were cool suddenly just got mean. Ida been booted if they had anythin on me, there was actually an investigation. Thank God the two guys I had given blowjobs to didn’t want to admit they’d stuck their dick in a homo’s mouth. Good thing too, they woulda been booted right alongside me. Probably. Learned a mighty big lesson there. Don’t shit where ya eat. I denied everything, even looked at one of the guys I’d blown right in his eyes when I lied about being gay to the others. I knew it was him that started the rumor. He couldn’t look me in the eyes right back. He was a coward, but I suppose I was a coward too cause I damn sure wasn’t gonna admit it neither. I don’t know whether he regretted what he done with me, or he was just tryin to cover his own ass so the guys didn’t think he was gay too, but he sure sucked my dick like a Hoover vacuum when we 69’d in that motel room off post, that’s all I needed to know. The other guy, Wicomb, well he didn’t get in on the harassment and actually looked a little disappointed in the rest of the guys when they’d say fucked up shit to my face while we worked. He always told em to stop bein assholes. I really liked Wicomb. I didn’t think he was gay. But he was a walkin’ dream. Bein’ short like I was I always liked taller, bigger guys (that makes me laugh because like… 100% of guys are taller and bigger’n me, so I guess I just like all guys. Hah hah. But taller’n bigger’n average was a particular weakness). Wicomb could be a poster boy for the Army recruitment commercials. All American good looks, and what I used to think was a jacked up muscle body until I met Zeus and Sleeper. Hooo Lord…those two… Lord in Heaven. Wicomb was about 6’1” with nice broad shoulders and long thick legs. He had dark almost black hair and blue eyes, the kinda eyes that were sweet like some baby animal’s eyes that just begged you to love him. He was four years older’n me and when I first got to Ft. Bragg he kinda took me under his wing to help me fit in. I think he looked at me like a li’l brother. I got that pretty regular from the big guys. Somethin about how little I was made them wanna protect me and be extra nice. You know, honestly? That’s probably why I ended up gay. I mean, I coulda gone either way I guess. But girls seem to have a general thing against guys that were small, not mean or nothin but I was considered cute, adorable, precious… like I was one of their dolls. Girls seem to like guys who can protect them, maybe even take charge. I wasn’t nowhere near that. So a girlfriend was never in the cards for me. I did try. But guys? Half of the guys teased me like crazy. I got used to that before I turned 12, so I learned not to let their stupid jokes bug me. The other half seemed to really like having me around. I think because I wasn’t a threat, or competition, and next to me they looked huge. And the REALLY big guys… I was like their favorite puppy. It seemed like they went out of their way to make sure I got my say in, didn’t let anyone step on me or put me down. It felt really good. I had so many man crushes before I even thought about being sexual with a guy. My first jack-off fantasy involving a guy was Brody Thomas, linebacker on our high school football team. In my fantasy he’d have his arm around me while we watched TV, and he would reach up and just rub my head with his big hand and say ‘I like you, Victor’. And I shot my load. Pretty lame, huh? That’s the only thing I needed to cum was some hulk bein just a little nice to me. I ended up losin my virginity to him. It just happened when we were hanging out one day, but that’s private cause it was really special. I ain’t gonna tell nobody that story. I think I cried for a week when he went off to college. He graduated and I still had my senior year to go. He wasn’t gay as far as I knew and I didn’t think I was either back then but he was always really nice to me. I missed him. Still do. So anyway, back to Wicomb. He really was a good guy. Bout six months after I got to Ft. Bragg, after we’d developed a solid friendship at work, he said he was takin’ a weekend road trip to Raleigh-Durham to watch his li’l brother’s basketball game at Duke University and did I want to go with him. Course I said yes. By that time I had my usual man crush on him and I wasn’t even thinking of anything happening between us. All I needed to get that warm feeling was to sit somewhere close to him and have his attention. He was just that kind of guy - genuine and authentic, confident and laid back, really funny in a way where he made anythin funny and fun. He smiled all the time. Nothin bothered him much. I offered him to pay half for the hotel, but he said he was just glad I came with him and told me to keep my money. And it wasn’t no Motel 6, it was a Holiday Inn, fancy and expensive but he wouldn’t take my money. See? Really nice, like I said. And honest Injun, I wasn’t thinking nothin’ about sex with Wicomb. But that seemed to be how it always happened. Do you figure Indians used to lie a lot back in the Wild West, so it was unusual to come across an honest Injun? Or do you figure it’s the other way round - that the old Indians were so honest they were known for it? Maybe I shoulda asked my history teacher about that before he got to fuckin me senior year. No… it wasn’t like that… I already had an ‘A’. He was just really nice to me and it sorta happened by accident. I have a lot of sex with guys by accident, I suppose. I guess I just have that effect on some of the big guys. Mr. Madden was handsome with a manly beard, married with a couple kids and reminded me of that actor from the TV show Grizzly Adams, I can’t remember his name. Somehow I ended up in the back seat of his Ford Bronco with his fat hairy dick in my smooth tiny teenage ass. Mr. Madden was my first guy kiss too. Brody didn’t kiss. That was normal. Most guys who wanted me to suck their dick didn’t kiss. Mr. Madden was so nice. He’d always say ‘we shouldn’t be doing this’ before he guided my head down to suck his dick, and he’d tell me how amazing I was after his soft dick came out of my cum filled ass. I walked the stage at graduation with his still warm cum tryin to wiggle its way out of my tender asshole from him bendin me over in the bathroom just before that, him in his suit and me in my graduation robe. Oh yeah… Dan Haggerty…that’s the actor’s name. Mr. Madden looked like Dan Haggerty. Super hairy. Pretty nice dick too. I keep gettin distracted and I’m tryin to tell about Wicomb. My brain don’t slow down much. Never has. Well, the first time it happened with Wicomb was in that hotel room. I never saw him naked before that and I guess I was starin. I didn’t mean to, honest. “You okay, Chambers?” He asked. Now, we were in the Army and bein around other naked guys wasn’t no big deal so of course he wasn’t in a rush to throw his clothes back on. We didn’t have to get to the game for another couple hours. And this was before all the rumors started at work. “What?” I asked. His question caught me off guard. “Yeah, all good.” I tore my eyes away from his dick and looked at those incredible blue eyes. He had his usual big smile on his face. I guess he thought somethin was funny like he always did. I didn’t know what, but I smiled back anyway. “Do you want the shower first?” He asked. I shook my head. “Nah, you go first.” “Good, I got swamp ass from the drive.” He said walkin into the bathroom. I watched him from the bed, bendin over into the bathtub enclosure to turn on the water lookin’ at his muscly ass and his long thick legs. Then he turned while the water got hot, lifted the toilet seat and took a piss. He musta had to go pretty bad, cause he just seemed to go on forever and it wasn’t like a thin stream. He just stood there with his hands on his hips and let his hangin’ dick flood the toilet with a deep rumble like a waterfall. It would bounce a little as he forced his piss out. “Nothing like a good heavy piss, right Chambers?” He said, shootin me a smile through the open door while I watched. I smiled back. “Yeah, it sure feels good, no lie.” I said. “You even piss big.” I said. He shrugged. “Comes with the big dick, bud.” He joked. He made me laugh. I watched him finish. He didn’t even shake his dick, he just climbed right in the shower. I thought that was a real man thing to do. Everythin bout Wicomb had real man written all over it. After he got done, I watched him get out and he said “Come on, water is still warm, bud.” And he left the shower runnin. It was nice the way he called me ‘bud’. I didn’t feel small when he called me that. I got bareass and went to get in the shower while he dried off in front of the sink. I had to squeeze past him but he knew li’l ole me didn’t need much room to get by and he didn’t seem to mind that I popped wood after I brushed up against him. Other guys woulda made fun of me for it, but not Wicomb. Like I said, he was super nice. We had fun at the game and went to a restaurant with his li’l brother after. That was fun, his li’l brother was just like him only taller. The whole time we all couldn’t stop laughin. Wicomb went out of his way to include me while they joked around so I didn’t feel like an outsider. When he said somethin to me, he put his hand on my shoulder or the back of my neck which felt good. One time he squeezed and rubbed my neck and gave me a big smile. His legs were so big and there wasn’t a lot of room under the table so we were kinda pressed up against each other which I didn’t mind. He didn’t ask me to move and squeeze into the corner by the wall. I got that a lot. Ya know, people figure I need less room so they take up more and I get squeezed. That’s why big guys were so cool because they were just as aware of how much room they took up as I was aware of how little I took up and they seemed comfortable when their size forced them into my li’l body. They knew neither of us could help it, that’s just how it was when you’re big. I always did my most not to make a big deal out of it neither because I figured they got just as tired of bumpin into things and having to be careful all the time. I understood all about how you had to think about your size every minute. “I’m not crowding you, am I?” He asked when we first sat down. I just smiled and shook my head. When we got back to the Holiday Inn it was kinda late, and we were drivin back to Ft. Bragg in the mornin so we got ready for bed. I was already under the covers and was watchin Wicomb standin in front of the sink brushin his teeth. I could see his underwear bulge a good distance above the sink top in the mirror. Mine woulda been hidden by the cabinet. “You’re not going to brush your teeth bud?” He asked me in the reflection. I pulled my eyes back to his face and smiled. “Don’t usually.” I said. He raised his eyebrows at me then gave me a scowl. That made me laugh. “Brush your teeth, Chambers.” He ordered. I pulled the covers up to my eyes. “But I’m warm now.” Fine hotels like the Holiday Inn had the best sheets and blankets, I decided. Toothbrush hangin out of his mouth, he stalked over to the bed, threw back the sheets and grabbed me out of bed. “Fine. I’ll do it for you.” He carried me to the sink. Which is how I ended up sandwiched between him and the sink with his warm body pressed up against my back. I had nowhere to go and accidentally leaned back into him with my butt on his thighs and his bulge into my lower back. He grabbed my toothbrush and held it up to look at it. “Bud, you need a new toothbrush.” He said. “Why? It’s still got bristles on it.” I asked. He laughed. “You aren’t supposed to wear it down to nothing, Chambers.” He pulled his toothbrush out of his mouth and rinsed it in the sink, then put some toothpaste on it, workin with his arms around me. “Open up.” I did what he told me to and with his left hand on my jaw he slowly started brushin my teeth with his toothbrush. I watched him in the mirror. His hands were so big next to my face. He kept lookin right into my eyes with those sweet blues of his, his long dark eyelashes just makin em perfect. He was very gentle with me and I relaxed back into his chest. My head only came up to his neck. He went tooth by tooth with small, easy circular movements that felt more like a soothin mouth massage than the furious scrubbin I usually did. He took his time doing all the fronts, then the backs, givin me a bright smile every once in a while. I tried to smile back but it wasn’t easy with his toothbrush in my mouth. “Stop smiling, bud, it makes it hard.” He kept telling me. I could feel it every time he breathed, his body moving against mine and his muscles flexin with his every motion. “This is how you should take care of your teeth.” He said softly, and I could feel his voice inside me as it came through his chest and into my back and neck. “You should take your time, work the brush over every part of each tooth. You have to make sure you get all the way back, and all around. Your mouth is important, people notice your smile. And you have a nice smile. Let’s keep it that way.” He rinsed the toothbrush. “Spit” I leaned over and spat the toothpaste foam into the sink. He pulled me back up against his chest. He brought his fingers to my lips and rubbed. “Open wide and stick out your tongue.” I did, and he put the toothbrush on my tongue and brushed real slow and soft along it. “Your tongue is important too. It’s soft, so you have to treat it gently. Just rub the brush over it, back and forth, from back to front. If you go too deep, you’ll gag at first. But you’ll get used to getting back there and soon it won’t bother you as much and you’ll be able to go deeper. Just take your time, that’s the important part.” He kept his voice low and soft. He was really a great guy, doing this for me. He didn’t make me feel embarrassed or stupid. No one had bothered to teach me the right way to brush my teeth and this big man was doing it just to be nice. He set the toothbrush down and cupped his hand under the water. “Sip and rinse, then spit.” He held his hand up and I dipped my head and sucked the water he held. My eyes were still looking at his in the mirror. I swished the water around while he stared at me with a smile. He held his hand up for me to spit into, then rinsed it in the tap. “Let me see, open.” He said. I smiled as big as I could. “See? Pretty teeth now.” And then he rubbed a finger very gently along my front teeth and gums. I know he was just checkin’ to make sure they were all clean, but it felt really sexual to have his finger in my mouth. That was just me though, he was just being nice. I nodded. “If you need me to show you again, I’ll do it in the morning.” He said. He gave my chest a pat and then stepped away to the toilet and took out his dick to piss. I was relieved to see he had popped wood too and I wondered why teaching me to brush my teeth would give him a woody. He smiled at me while I watched him force his boner down to point at the toilet. I would never be able to bend mine down like that if it was hard, but mine was nowhere near as long as his. I smiled back, then went back to watchin. His dick was so big now that I could see it hard. He had a full bush of black curly hair with his big nuts hanging a few inches below. When he finished, he just pulled his underwear off. “Do you mind if I take care of this? I’m horny.” He asked, waving his hard dick at me. “Okay. But I can do it.” I smiled. “If you want.” He smiled back. “Yeah? You don’t have to.” I shrugged. The way I figured it, him gettin hard was probably my fault anyway because I was accidentally rubbin up against him while he taught me the right way to brush my teeth. If brushin teeth excited him that was on me for not doin it myself. It wasn’t his fault. I was used to that happenin. Big guys didn’t always know how big they were and they couldn’t help it when their parts came up against you. And I never wanted them to feel self conscious about it so I made sure not to flinch away or say anythin. Like I said, I wasn’t tryin to sex him up, but it happened so the least I could do was take care of it for him. It probably had nothin to do with me anyway. Accidents happen, right? I got on my knees in front of him and stuck my tongue out to lick the head of his dick. He had some pre-cum hangin there, even though he had just taken a piss. His pre-cum tasted kinda good, most big guys did. Maybe I could practice how to brush my tongue. Seems like what he taught me was real close to suckin dick. I chuckled a little that he had no idea his lesson could be used for that. I reached up and grabbed the base of his dick to slowly start strokin it before taking it into my mouth. I made sure to push it over my tongue, pretendin I was brushing it. I made sure to do it slow and gentle like he showed me. I knew my way round sucking dick and the whole gaggin thing wasn’t a problem. I knew what the big guys liked. One of the things they seemed to like was for me to look up at them while I sucked them off, so I lifted my eyes to Wicomb’s and watched him. He was lookin down at me, smilin. That made me want to do a good job for him. “Wow, bud… you’re pretty good at that.” He said, cradlin my chin in his hand while he pushed his dick in and out of my mouth. “You want to make me cum, buddy?” I nodded, still movin up and down on his large dick. “You want to take it? You want me to cum in your mouth?” He asked. I nodded again. “It feels good, you’re doing a great job, bud. Keep going, you’re getting me close. Suck my cock. That’s it, take it as far as you can.” I liked knowin he liked what I was doin. Some guys didn’t want to talk to you while you were suckin em off. Not Wicomb. He liked to talk. It was really nice of him to let me help him out like that. I was really happy he was lettin me do him a favor. My mama said you should always repay a kindness with a kindness, so I was doin what I was good at for him. And I really liked how his dick felt in my mouth. I went as far down as I could even though I couldn’t go all the way. He was just too big. But I made up for it by slurping my tongue all over the rest of it and usin my hand. “Damn, bud, work that dick.” He said. “You’re going to make me cum. Yeah, just like that. Keep going. Just like that. Oh fuck yeah. Here it comes bud. Here it comes. I’m cumming. I’m cumming.” I felt the first spurt shoot into my mouth I knew enough now to stop moving my head and just stroke the base as I let him do his cum thrust to get it all out. I pulled off his dick to swallow his cum real quick then got back on it. Guys liked it when you left it in your mouth for a while, until they started going soft. You didn’t want to keep suckin on it or moving, it was too sensitive most of the time. “Fuck, that was awesome! Thanks bud.” he said, patting me on the head. That made me feel really good. “No problem, Wicomb.” I said with a smile after I let his softenin dick out of my mouth. I pulled his underwear back up his legs for him. He had good underwear. Course, after the rumors started Wicomb had to distance himself from me, but I understood. That was my fault. I shouldn’t have trusted that other asshole even if he was nice to me at first. Trouble is, you just can’t tell when they’re fakin bein nice and all, you know? But he didn’t have to be so mean after. I didn’t really think about him much at all before or after I sucked him off. He wasn’t very good lookin. I’m pretty sure he didn’t think about me neither. Like I said before, we sucked each other’s dick by accident, it wasn’t like we went to that hotel to suck dick on purpose. He was 24 and could get beer, that’s why I said yes when he asked if I wanted to stay in his room when the guys did their weekend partying off the main drag. I couldn’t hit the bars with them but that was okay. I wasn’t goin to have any luck pickin up any chicks. I drank beer alone in that room while he went out and got drunk at the bars. Then when all the guys got back at 0130 we drank some more. Duncan and me just sorta ended up naked and sucking each others’ dicks. I don’t even know how it happened. After that weekend, even though I hated the mean things they said and did to me, I could handle it because Wicomb was still nice. But I was truly relieved when I got PCS’d to Germany with the Bravos. Don’t know, nor care why. They even changed my MOS to 11B. When I enlisted that was one of the occupations I absolutely didn’t want to be, Infantry and thank the Lord my ASVAB scores were good enough to get me other options. I knew I was too small to go through what those guys did. But if this is what Infantry was all about, I shoulda been here from the beginnin. I finally felt like I had friends and it was a fresh start. Of course I didn’t ruin it by sucking anyone’s dick even though all of them were nice. Didn’t mean I didn’t want to. I worried a bit that maybe I was liking it a bit much. I had a huge crush on Assmunch. I liked Zeus and Sleeper too, but Assmunch was like…normal? Sleeper and Zeus were just flat out on some other level li’l ole me had no prayer to even get near. Assmunch wasn’t just nice, he was like Wicomb. Genuine and authentic. And he seemed kinda sad most of the time, for no reason. It wasn’t his job or our training, he never had trouble with any of that. And he took care of everyone, gave special help when anyone needed it, or found someone who was better at it than him to help you. He always knew the right way to get something done, and he kept us Bravos ahead of Sarge. I think that pissed Sarge off sometimes when he couldn’t find a mistake or anything wrong with us. Assmunch always put a stop to anythin that went too far, and never let the guys be mean to each other. Andrew always noticed when something was wrong before anyone had to say anything, even personal stuff. And then he dealt with it quietly. He kept secrets. Maybe he would keep mine. I was trying to screw up my courage to talk to him but it was hard, you know? I didn’t want to ruin my spot in the brotherhood. I almost went to Sleeper that day in the snow shelter, but Puta got there first. I wished I could be more like Puta. Jump School was hard for me, being small. Those exercises and lessons we had to do with full gear made it super hard for me to even move and jumpin off platforms with all that extra weight was no joke. I just barely was able to clip in on the anchor line too. At least the Sergeants Airborne didn’t yell at me every time I smiled at them. I always got yelled at by the other Sergeants for smilin. I was busy studyin the stuff we were taught that day (for the tenth time - I didn’t want to let the guys down and be the only Bravo to drop) when I saw Zeus and Sleeper comin to my rack. Ever since that last week in Germany (Was that just two weeks ago? Holy Moley!) Sleeper and Zeus did everything together. That just made sense. They were the Bravo Big Dogs and everyone kinda knew Sleeper was Assmunch’s unofficial enforcer. Now Zeus was too. Funny thing was, in any normal unit I could see Puta, Troll and Cellblock bein the top dogs. Cellblock, one of the black guys, would make a good Platoon Leader with Puta and Troll as his enforcers. “Hey Weeble!” Sleeper said. “You did great in your match yesterday.” I smiled. “Thanks Sleeper!” I looked at Zeus. “Hi Zeus.” I waved and gave him a smile too. Zeus smiled back and I think I fell in love. Have you ever had someone look right at you, like… right into you and you feel like they know you and it makes them happy, which makes you happy? That’s what it felt like when Zeus smiled at me. Zeus didn’t smile much, or laugh much. Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Zeus laugh. I felt warm all over. “Do you guys want to sit down?” I asked when I finally managed to look away from Zeus. Sleeper shrugged. “Sure.” I pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around them while I watched the two big guys sit on my rack. Zeus looked a little silly like he was sittin on a children’s chair. He kept tryin to figure out where to put his legs and arms. I was sitting up against my pillow. He tried sitting sideways but then he wasn’t facing me so he had to look over his shoulder. Then he twisted but his legs hit the metal bunk frame. So he tried to pull his left leg up and lay it on the bunk but his right was too long still sittin with his foot on the floor. He put his right knee down which looked more comfortable but leanin his upper body forward looked awkward. It was makin me smile, watchin him try to arrange himself. That’s how big guys were, nothin in the world was made for their size. We were the same, him and me. He was too big for everythin, I was too small. I guess Sleeper waited to see if he could figure it out for a bit, then he went to the other side of my bunk and sat sideways then leaned over and rested on his elbow, almost laying down. Zeus saw that and did the same thing behind him. Man, even Sleeper looked small against Zeus. “You doing okay, Weeble?” Sleeper asked. I nodded, still smilin. “Yeah, doin great, Sleeper. Just studyin.” “Anything you want to talk about? You having any trouble with the course?” Mr. Deep Brown Eyes continued. He was so handsome. “Nah. It’s hard, but I can do it.” I assured him. Sometimes the guys helped me out with stuff, but here we were supposed to do all the stuff ourselves. “I won’t let you down, Sleeper.” He reached out and put his hand on my knee. “Weeble, you never let us down and you work harder than half the brothers. Don’t think we don’t notice, or understand it’s more effort for you to do some of the things we can do easily. You’ve come a long way from that first time I saw you trying to keep up with us rucking.” I laughed. “I had a lot of Sarge’s spit on my face that week from all the yellin” Sleeper laughed too. “We all did, brother. I can still taste it.” He leaned back into Zeus reclining just behind him.. “You never got yelled at Gabriel.” He said, tilting his head to look up at Zeus while he leaned into him. That looked like it felt really good, snuggling up against Big Zeus. “You never had to taste Sarge’s spit.” Zeus smiled at Sleeper. It was a really sweet smile. I think Zeus really liked Sleeper. He only smiled that way at Sleeper and Assmunch, never at the rest of us. We just got the regular Super Smile that made you feel like a million dollars. “I didn’t do anything wrong for him to yell at me about, Addison.” Sleeper snorted. “Yeah, right. Sometimes I didn’t do anything wrong either, but he still yelled at me. ‘You’ve disappointed me, Private. I needed one more failure in this Platoon to win the Sergeant’s pool. Now I’m not going to win. And I hate to lose. YOU WILL STRIP, CLEAN, AND REASSEMBLE EVERY WEAPON FOR YOUR PLATOON BEFORE CHOW TIME! AND DON’T GREASE THOSE BOLTS LIKE YOU DO YOUR PATHETIC PECKER, DO IT RIGHT!” He barked just like Sarge. “And Demon’s M4 was bad. He runs it way too wet. I was almost late for chow.” “I don’t think there was a Sergeant’s pool, Addison.” Zeus said seriously. “Sergeant Walters said he was in a lot of Sergeant’s pools, and he always said he lost. He couldn’t have lost all of them, we were really good.” Sleeper laughed. “You’re right, Gabriel. There was no betting pool. Sarge just liked to say that for an excuse to make us work harder.” “That’s not fair.” Zeus said, scowling. Sleeper raised his voice. ‘FAIR?!?! IF YOU WANTED FAIR YOU -‘ “SHOULDA JOINED THE AIR FORCE!” The rest of the Bravos shouted in unison, mimicking Sarge’s growling yell. That cracked everyone up. Everyone except Zeus who just smiled with a hilarious looking grin. “Fucking Ground Pounders.” One of the Air Force randoms that were left said loudly. Which only cracked everyone up again. “So, you good Weeble?” Sleeper looked at me with a kind smile. I hesitated. “Uh… yeah Sleeper.” “What do you think Zeus? He telling the truth? Or do you think he’s got something on his mind?” Sleeper didn’t look away from my face. I had to look away. I wanted to trust him, trust the brothers. I just couldn’t take the chance. “He doesn’t look happy like he always does Addison.” Zeus said, keeping his voice low.. Sleeper nodded. “I think you’re right Zeus. Do you want to talk here, or out on the benches, Victor? Or would you rather talk to Andrew?” I felt my stomach clench. I didn’t want to ruin this, what I had with the Bravos. Everyone was still nice to me. “Hey, Victor. We’re your brothers. We love you, buddy. Hey, look at me.” Sleeper put his hand on my knee again. I looked up slowly. “Something is bothering you. You’re always really bright and happy, trying your best, going around lifting everyone’s spirits. Everyone thinks you’re awesome. But sometimes you don’t look happy if no one’s around. You know we got your back, right? Hell, we like Bootlicker, and he’s an asshole.” “Victor, you’re our friend too.” Zeus said to me. I liked hearin him talk. And there was somethin about how he said it, with his deep serious voice. We didn’t go around callin each other friend a whole bunch. It was always ‘brother’, bro, or our nickname. Sometimes even our last name if it was super serious. When Zeus said I was his friend, I felt it. It was real. He wasn’t fakin it. And Sleeper was cocky, sure…but I probably would be too if I looked like him. But he wasn’t never mean to no one. “If you don’t want to Victor, we won’t push you. But you can come to us for anything, anytime.” Sleeper got up, and Zeus did too. I wanted to. I wanted to so bad. But I didn’t want to be weak. See, what the big guys never could understand was how little guys like me never felt grown up and wished every day to be like them. When I saw guys like Sleeper and Zeus, Assmunch, Troll, Puta, Demon, even Bootlicker I saw Men, grown men. And next to them I felt like a child, always behind them, never keeping up. Size was part of it, sure. But it was also more than that. They were confident, capable and self reliant. They didn’t care what anyone else thought. They didn’t beg anyone to be nice to them. I felt dependent upon their good nature and every day I lived in fear that they would discover I was just pretendin to be grown up so they would continue to accept me. No one ever looked at them and thought ‘he doesn’t belong here.’ Even before the rumors started in my old unit I didn’t actually feel like I was one of them. Their jokes and dismissive remarks made it clear every day I was different from them and they’d never see me any other way. I was used to that, honest. It hardly hurt at all anymore. It was how it was all through school. Bein small was lonely to begin with. They say it’s lonely at the top… but they don’t know what they’re talkin about. It’s twice as lonely at the bottom. Bein the smallest just meant you had even less to offer someone as a friend. Think about it - what do friends do with each other? Ride bikes, skateboard, play sports, try to pick up girls, walk around the mall tryin to be noticed. Wasn’t a single one of those things I was any good at. I couldn’t keep up, no one wanted me on their team playin a pick up game of touch football, or half court basketball, I wasn’t no girl magnet and no one invited me to go to the mall. Sometimes I’d go by myself and say hi to some of the guys I knew from school. I didn’t blame them for not invitin me to hang out with them after the first awkward exchange of ‘what’s goin on?’ It wasn’t like I was actually their friend, I was just the tiny guy from school. Little guys like me didn’t say ‘hey, why don’t we…’. Or - ‘do you guys want to go…’. Little guys like me followed. Little guys like me took whatever they were lucky enough to get. I felt like a hungry stray dog everyone pitied and would sometimes feed, but would never take home. So see, guys like Sleeper and Zeus couldn’t understand how hard I tried to keep my spot in the Bravos. And how desperate I was to keep up with them. I finally felt like I belonged. I was almost terrified of losing the first group of guys who never made me feel small. “Victor?” I heard Sleeper’s voice interrupt my thoughts. “Dude, I really don’t want to push you, but something is really bugging you. Please. Let’s go talk to Assmunch. He always knows what to do.” I looked up at him. Holy smokes he was so handsome. His big muscles so sexy. Those deep brown eyes so kind and … hell, those eyes saw me. When Sleeper’s eyes looked at me I didn’t feel small. I felt like I was a person. “Victor, Andrew is amazing.” Zeus continued. “Do what Addison says. We’re going to talk to him.” For a Big Guy who never talked much he sure was talkin a lot these days. Not like I minded, his voice was both soothin and excitin. I’d never had a crush on someone’s voice before. Before I realized what I was doin I had closed my manual and stood up. I sighed. That was part of it too. A Big Guy tells me what to do and I don’t even stop to think. A grown man would never do that. I didn’t mind though. Not when it was Zeus, or Sleeper. Or Assmunch. I woulda done anything those three told me to. It was the part where I did it without thinkin that bugged me. “Okay.” I agreed. I had no idea what I was going to say to Assmunch. I didn’t really want to do this. I didn’t want to look weak, especially in front of Assmunch. I knew how much it was going to hurt when I saw his eyes look at me different. Sleeper led the way over to Assmunch where he sat on his bunk. Zeus came up beside me and put his arm around my shoulder. I almost stumbled when I felt so good and all my anxiousness disappeared. He was so huge. But the funny thing was, the REALLY strange thing… I felt bigger than I’d ever felt in my entire life with his arm around me. I know it sounds stupid, but I felt like next to him like that I didn’t have nothin to worry about, and I was part of his bigness. Like I was included… in HIM. I can’t say why I didn’t just sink right into his big powerful body immediately. Hell, I do know why. I couldn’t risk lettin down my guard even when I knew anyone else would have done it and not be ashamed or care what anyone thought. Assmunch didn’t even blink, or ask. “Outside.” Was all he said.

Grabbing my hips holding me still, he belted “no condom, Dad’s gonna enjoy this awhile” and he dicked me with four of his nine. Trembling from fear and hunger, all I could do was submit to this Alpha. He pulled out and thrust in half a dozen times, as I got used to his half dick and wide girth. I hadn’t felt a raw dick in years. I knew it was “wrong.” He was a stranger. I also knew his power was no match for me. I moaned and exhaled. My elbows buckled my chest and head fell to the bed — ass firmly held in air by his hands and cock. “Dad’s turn” is all I heard as I felt this stranger burry deep with an intense thud. I gasped as his nine inch thick raw cock took me to a new place: complete submission to his will, his command and his raw demands. Before I knew it he was pounding. I was at his mercy.

6. Moons of Mars Reznor felt Tommy over-prepared for a simple overnight camping trip. He might reconsider this opinion since one of the many things Tommy brought, a pocket knife, has been in use ever since Reznor was dragged into Frank’s trailer. Tommy’s been prying a board off the back of the woodshed for twenty minutes. So far he’s managed to get off a nail at the top and one at the bottom. When he sees Reznor unconscious and dragged back out of the trailer by MAGA-hat man and wispy ponytail guy, he picks up the urgency of getting off the other bottom nail. His shaking hand makes him cut himself, which makes the pocket knife slippery, but after several failed attempts, he gets the second bottom nail wedged loose. The plank doesn’t come all the way off, but it’s enough to be able to push the plank to the side. It’s barely enough space for him to wiggle through, but because of his compact size he escapes. Back in the open air, he peers around the woodshed. Reznor’s naked strung up by his arms. He sees the big bear of a man, Frank, return. He’s in Reznor’s face threatening him with a chainsaw between his legs. He can’t hear what Frank’s saying because of all the noise from the chainsaw, but abruptly Frank’s screams at Reznor for him to answer him if he remembers his question. The chainsaw idles softly as Frank waits for an answer. “Yes, I remember … the question,” Reznor manages to get out. Each word muttered is painful, but Tommy recognizes a familiar, sarcastic glint in Reznor’s eye. “I’ll take ‘What is drawn and quartered’ … for a thousand, Alex.” Frank threatens Reznor with another rev of the chainsaw. “Mm-kay, Mm-kay.” Reznor spits a wad of bloody saliva on the ground. His head bobs forward and back, while Frank revs the chainsaw to encourage Reznor to continue. Reznor is one horrible, bloody mess. It’s not helping Reznor for Tommy to watch this scene from the shadows, so he scampers off to search for anything that might free his friend. Reznor raises his head looking into Frank’s dark eyes. “Drawn and quartered. A man gets each limb tied to four horses.” Reznor’s legs give out. He hangs only by his arms. “And the horses pull off his limbs in four directions.” Bloody drool strings from his mouth. “Right you are,” says Frank. “But since we don’t have no horses, I’m left with this quandary. What to do? And then it hits me. I’ll saw off each one of your limbs, tourniquet you, cauterize you, till you’re just one stumpy torso. Then I’m going to keep your torso permanently on my bed and fuck you till you—“ “Frank, that’s enough!” Dougie, pulling on his goatee, protests. “For fuck sake, you already scared the piss out of the kid.” One of the camo guys steps forward, goes, “Yeah, Frank. Fun’s fun, but you take it too far, man.” Frank’s eyebrows raise defensively. “You agree, Cosmo?” The other camo guy says, “Yeah, I agree with Vic, Frank. Look at him hangin’ there. You think he’s gonna talk?” “What about you, Lewis?” Grey ponytail guy steps forward. “I think he’ll turn on you, Frank. He’s got every reason to turn you in.” House jumps out of the bushes, fists ponytail guy’s head, sending him to the dirt. Reynold’s is right beside House filming Frank, the camo guys, Dougie, and Lewis on the ground. “Back off!” House shouts at Frank. He doesn’t have Frank’s girth (or chainsaw), but he out-matches the big bear in height and brawn. Now that he’s close enough to see what he’s done to Reznor, he’s fucking pissed as hell, too. “Now! Back. The fuck. Off!” Steve Reynolds holds up his phone. “You’ll all be wanted by morning. Just have to hit send. Best thing would be to let him go.” Frank revs the chainsaw again. “Or what, pretty boy?” He revs the blades, grounds his stance preparing to send the spinning teeth up through Reznor’s caged balls. “You gonna shoot me with your iPhone?” Reznor looks up a final time at his assailant. He prays his end is quick. He looks into Frank’s eyes. His last sight on Earth. “Nope.” Tommy aims a rifle. “Gonna shoot you with a gun.” Abruptly Frank’s face, in a split second, becomes a plume of blood and brains exploding out of his head. The head bursts like a watermelon covering Reznor’s face and body with the man’s detritus. The remnant body that once was Frank, no longer includes a head. Bits of skull, teeth, tongue, eyes—slap Reznor’s face; steaming gore drips to the ground. Reznor watches as it takes a surreal couple of seconds for Frank’s body to realize it has no brains before it tumbles in a heap to the ground. The chainsaw sputters in the dirt, then grinds to a halt. Everyone looks to the top step of Frank’s trailer where the shot rang out. Tommy eyes the remaining men around the camp not lowering the rifle but swinging the muzzle back and forth. The far trailer door bursts open and Micky-G steps out holding frantically barking pit bulls. “What the hell is all this hullabaloo?” Micky-G yanks back his dogs. Headlights flood the scene as a beat-up red pickup rolls up to the trailers. Waldo leaps out of the back and trots over, jumping playfully on top of the two pit bulls and excitedly sniffs their rear ends. Kyle and Jacob get out of the cab trying to make sense of what’s occurred. In the headlights, House and Reynolds are cutting Reznor down. “Fuckin’ hell!” Kyle says running over to Reznor. He takes off his jacket and wraps it over Reznor’s shoulders. Shamus steps out of the shadows adjusting his cap then gives Lewis a hand up. Lewis feebly tries to tell Reynolds that he didn’t he meant it about not letting his friend go. “Nah,” Lewis wheedles, “I was trying to buy some time for Frank to come to his senses.” “The fuck you were, asshole,” Reynolds fires back. “Yours is the only photo I didn’t delete. If I were you, I’d crawl back to whatever backwoods hole you came out of.” House takes the kerchief off his neck and wipes Reznor’s bloody face. “Cops I’m sure will know who you are.” “And where you live,” says Tommy, coming off trailer steps, slinging the gun strap over his shoulder. “Maybe you’ll get a day’s head start,” says Reynolds. Tommy adds, “If you’re lucky.” “But I wouldn’t count on it.” House comes up to the guy and shoves him into the shadows, with Shamus trailing after him out of camp. “Cosmo, Vic, Dougie,” Jacob says, crossing over to them. “You let him rape a kid? What’s your wife and kids gonna think about you?” “No!” The three men are panicked, trying to explain themselves all at once. Excuses fly: things got out of hand; it was just supposed to be to scare the kid; how were they to know Franks was tweaked; they saved the kid from being beaten to death, didn’t they? Jacob’s not buying any of it, and they argue all talking over each another, pleading with Jacob that they’ll take care of the body; that they never saw any of these boys in camp. Cosmo suggests, “Maybe Frank had a hunting accident.” “No one’s seen him for a while,” proposes Vic. “A bear might have got him,” Dougie adds. Vic advises Jacob to get the boys out of here. Everyone nods in agreement. “We’ll right this mess,” Vic says. “Kyle!” shouts Micky-G. “Get your damn dog off Trixie. She’s in heat.” Waldo’s humping the brown and white pit bull having the time of his life. “You’re responsible if there’s a litter, I’m telling you that right now, dammit.” *** Reznor sits silently between me and Jacob on the drive to my house. House, Tommy and Reynolds—and a very happy Waldo—ride in the bed of the truck. Jacob says tomorrow he’ll take the boys back to their Prius, but tonight everyone’s spending the night at my house. “That okay with you, buddy?” he says to Reznor. “Huh?” Reznor says, glassy-eyed, his head swaying with the bouncing of the truck over the rough road. We troop into the house, where mom, upset at first seeing one of the boy’s badly beaten, but then snaps into professional nurse mode, attends to Reznor—Band-Aids, iodine, Neosporin. Reznor’s injuries are extensive but are superficial, she says, nothing broken, some bruises but nothing worse. She sends him to the shower, where he steeps for a long time. Privately she tells me he’s pretty traumatized and wants to know why. I give her the PG-version leaving out some of the more gory secondhand details Tommy and Reynolds provided. Frank’s dead, I tell her. That little guy Tommy shot him. Good for him, she says. Frank always was an evil piece of shit. Mom! I say. Language. After his shower I see mom’s right about Reznor being traumatized; he barely speaks, which is totally un-Reznor. While she finishes patching up his face in the bathroom, me, Jacob and the other guys want to know how Tommy pulled off the shot. Tommy says he took the Ruger rifle out of Frank’s bedroom, one he was familiar with from hunting with his dad. He felt bad about how it splattered Reznor in the face, but he couldn’t see any way around it. He didn’t say anything about killing a man, and we didn’t ask. We all-too-quickly moved on to praising his smarts, bravery and marksmanship. We put the subject to bed when mom and Reznor come back in. Ultimately, mom is a mom, and isn’t satisfied until everyone’s had grilled cheese sandwiches and is sitting with hot cocoa in front of the wood stove. After midnight the guys get sleepy and crash in the living room. House has his sleeping bag laid out on the couch, Reynolds is scrunched up on the love seat, and Tommy’s happy curled up with Waldo on the shag carpet. In the darkness of my bedroom, I’m looking at the luminescent stars I’ve had forever on my ceiling. Reznor’s in the other twin bed in my room. He hasn’t spoken since Frank was shot, when House and Reynolds cut him down. Just let him be, is my mom’s advice, before she and Jacob went off to his trailer. I think he’s fallen asleep, and I’m just about to myself when I hear a very hoarse voice say, “I can’t believe you have glow-in-the-dark decals on you ceiling. What are you, Dupree? Nine?” I try not to get all defensive; this is Reznor after all, and I gotta be nice to him. “They’re educational. And they’re highly accurate,” I tell him. “Look. There’s Ursa Major and Ursa Minor, and the bright one in the little dipper’s tail is Polaris, the North Star.” He thinks about this for a second, takes in the vast array of stars on my ceiling. “Yawl are a fuckin’ freak.” At least a little of the ornery Raznor’s back. I lie shirtless with my arms behind my head. Unlike the dorm, my old trailer is warm. I can smell my pits and they’re pretty rank. We’re in the dark but Reznor’s outlined by the moon streaming in through the window. His blond hair appears blue in this light. After a long time laying on his back looking at my stars, he says, “I’ll bet you still have your teddy bear,” he says. I see his eyes are wide open staring up. “That’s what Waldo’s for.” Another span of time passes. An idea occurs to me. “I bet,” I say, breaking the silence, “that you never had a teddy bear. That’s what’s wrong with you, Reznor. Lack of stuffed animal bonding at an early age.” His response surprises me. “Yawl right ‘bout that. No teddy bear.” He grunts trying to put his arms above his head. He eventually manages to lace his fingers, and is mirroring me in his bed. “But I did have me a black Scotty dog. Use to drag it with me everywhere.” “Did it have a name?” “Yeah. Scotty.” We both chuckle. Reznor exhales, and then turns on his side. Groans. He lets an arm hang off his bed, trailing a finger over my linoleum floor. “It had red buttons for eyes. I pulled one of the button eyes off by accident one time. I would not be consoled until my sweet old nanny sewed it back on. I was worried I had permanently damaged Scotty’s eyesight but nanny assured me he could see just fine. My father took him away shortly after that. Said I was too old for it. I was seven. Second grade.” Of all people, I’m surprised I like sharing the room with Reznor tonight. Drake hasn’t talked to me much since that first night in back of the library. But this guy, who I think of mostly as a dick, there’s something I like about his Scotty dog story. Maybe it’s knowing what he went through tonight; or maybe—and I’m just spit-balling here—there’s an attraction we both don’t want to admit to, and it’s easier to just punch each other in the face then act on it. I don’t know, I’m not a psych major. “When I was seven,” I tell him, “my dad put up these decals on the ceiling. One of the last things he did. He loved looking at the stars. That’s his telescope in the corner. Story time with him was always about planets and constellation. All the stories that came from the sky.” Reznor props himself up on an elbow and looks at the telescope by the window. “What happened to him?” “Cancer.” I look at his work above me. “During hospice, whenever he had the energy, he’d get on a ladder and add on to it. Made the sky exactly as I’d see it every September first, he told me, my birthday.” “Stars don’t stay in one place,” Raznor says. “Sure they do. Once a year. It’s like Earth’s this merry-go-round, and if you choose a spot, choose one day, every year when you get back to it, all the stars will line up exactly as they were the year before. So those stars up there, they’re the same stars that appear every first day of September. Forever and always. Even long after we’re not here to look at them.” Reznor lays back down and looks up at the glowing dots. “Crazy.” “Word.” I point straight above us at a constellation. “Pegasus dominates the summer sky.” “I don’t see it.” “Sure. It’s upside down.” I throw off my blankets and flip my head to the end of the bed, so I see it right side up. “There, that bright star there is his nose. That square, those four stars, are his flank—where the wings come from. And those stars are his forward legs flying into the air.” Reznor flips off his bedding and struggles to get his head at the end of the bed, too. Once he settles, he contemplates it for a while. “Okay. I guess I see it. Where’s it back legs?” “No back legs.” “See, that’s what I hate about this shit. People just make up whatever they want to see. No logic in it.” “Yep. No logic to it.” I put my arms again behind my head. “People always make up what they want to see, what they want to believe.” “Did your dad put in planets too?” he wants to know. “I think I see Saturn. And that red one?” “Yep. That red dot right in the corner, that’s Mars—god of war.” I point above his bed where the ceiling hits the wall. “If you stare long enough, you can see two moons. Phobos and Deimos. Means fear and dread in Greek. They were Mars’ sons, fear and dread. Took ‘em to every battle, which makes sense for the god of war, right?.” “Dupree, yawl have too much stuff in your head.” I look over at him. “I would not disagree with you.” It’s nice having him in my room. “You a virgin.” He snorts. He’s propped up again on an elbow facing me. “Virgo, the virgin if you’re born September first.” I flip on my elbow to look back. In just his boxers the contours of his body are amazing. Such deep shadows define his pecs and his abs. I’m trying not to get too caught up in what a defined body he has, trying to ignore a little stirring down below. It’s funny cuz we’re in the pool in speedos all the time, and I’ve been able to tuck that little tidbit onto a back-burner brain cell—so I’m not sure why it’s now being put on the front-burner. Adjusting myself nonchalantly, I flip on my back and ask him when's his birthday? He says February third. “Aquarius. The water bearer,” I say, pointing to the constellation over my bed. “There you are, right above Pegasus.” “Stupid sign. Water bearer. What’s that even mean? What am I, a waiter? Would yawl like sparkling or tap this evening.” He cracks me up. I hear snoring coming through my bedroom door from the living room, so I keep my voice low. “No, he’s a great sign. He’s the famous Ganymede, Jupiter’s largest moon, the largest moon actually in the entire solar system—there, see it next to Jupiter? And also Zeus’ young lover.” “Shut up.” “No, seriously. He was the most beautiful mortal Zeus had ever laid eyes on. Born royalty, the son of the king of Troy, Zeus falls in love with him and snatches him to Olympus for himself. Poured his wine, a most honored position on Mount Olympus. Pissed his wife off, but she got plenty on the side, so both of them were happy gods.” “You’re saying Zeus was gay?” “Well, bi, but he’s just a made up story. But it gave legitimacy to men loving men back in the day. These stories have been around as long as the Bible, Christianity, Buddhism, Islam—you name it. It’s all stories we tell ourselves to explain ourselves to ourselves.” “Except the Bible is true.” “If you say so.” I know not to get into it with Reznor about religion. We had this fight in the dining hall many times. “Anyway, worse thing than being the most beautiful boy that the king of the gods takes a shining to and immortalizes in the night sky.” I didn't see when it started, but Reznor’s silently shaking on the bed. He’s crying and trying not to cry at the same time, which makes his sob worse. He sits up with his face in his hands ashamed. “Hey, what is it?” I ask, sitting up myself. He looks at me in with an angry and anguished face. “Or a fat hillbilly snatches you off and fucks you silly in his trailer.” He looks at me defiantly and adds, “And maybe you like it.” I’m across from him, our knees are almost touching. I put a hand on his leg. “Knocked it off,” he says in a raspy voice, flicking my hand away. I can see his face is streaming tears now, no sobs, just tears trailing over his cheeks. I switch beds and sit next to him. “Leave me alone.” I put my arm around him regardless of his protests. “I’m sorry,” I tell him. “Why are you sorry? Yawl didn’t fuck me or hit me or try to cut me in half with a chainsaw. Yawl weren’t the one that saw his face explode or told all these fucked up things he was going to do. It’s shit I can’t un-hear or un-see, Dupree.” “Tell me what you saw.” “What my life was going to turn into. Maybe it was the drugs they gave me, but as he was telling it to me I saw it like it was real, was already my life. Like, he was going to keep me fucked up on meth, and fuck me all the time, and give me a cunt. And you know the most fucked up part?” I shrug, rubbing his back, encouraging him to let it out. “Part of me wanted it—wanted to run away from my life and be his meth whore. Isn’t that fucked up?” “Nah, it isn’t.” “This big hairy man was going to keep me as his personal slave—be his, what’d you call him—his Ganymede. I’d be his sex toy. And I couldn’t do anything about it. He was going to fist me every day until I had a gaping pussy. He was going to beat me raw if I didn’t obey his every word. And it’s so fucked up but part of me liked it. Wanted it. To have a real life physically-abusive daddy, not the psychologically-abusive one I got right now. I’ve been to enough shrinks to know how fucked up I am, Dupree. Even now, my dick wants to get hard when I talk about it.” He takes my hand and makes me feel his metal cage. He’s leaking in his boxers. And for fuck sake, I can’t help it, but a bulge is rising in my gym shorts once he put my hand on his crotch. Reznor notices, too. His head snaps up, seeing my shorts rise. “What the fuck, man?” he says alarmed. “Where’s yawl’s cage.” He grabs my growing erection. I hold up a finger to my lips to bring his voice down. “I only wear it at school when I have to. It’s a crumby little lock. Easy enough to pick.” “Get mine off,” he says. I hesitate. “Please, or I’ll tell everyone and then you’ll be off the team.” “You’re blackmailing me?” “If I have to.” “Reznor, given what you’ve been through, you’re still a dick.” I frown. Quietly I slip into the bathroom and grab a bobby pin. When I get back he’s slipped off his boxers, and looking at his hard body, outlined by a full moon in my window, it only gets my dick tenting even more in my shorts. “Hurry,” he says, desperately clutching himself, like he urgently has to take a piss. “You’ve had this on for months. Chill,” I say. “Dupree,” he says, like the cage is burning him, “get it off.” I kneel between his legs. It takes ten second for me to fiddle with the lock before its open. Another two second for Reznor to pull off the top casing and the ring around his balls. And there it is. His beautify penis. I have to say, Reznor’s got one of the most phenomenal members I have ever seen. Once the chastity device is off, it’s immediately hard, like one of those self-inflating rafts. It’s thick, cut, with a perfectly formed large, mushroom head. There’s little in the way of veins except a thick ridge on top right down the middle. Since I’m kneeling in front of him like I’m worshiping it, there’s nothing to do but actually worship it. My mouth does down all the way in one go to the root. “Ah, shit,” he pants. I look up at him with my tongue hanging out—he’s gritting his teeth with a look of relief I’ve never seen him express—and go back down on his shaft. He’s shuddering with pleasure. I never thought this would happen, but there you go—life always throws the unexpected at you. Which is why I’m not too surprised when he pulls me up on his bed, and spreads his legs. Two choices present itself: fuck him or rim him. I spread his bruised cheeks and lick his asshole. His breath catches in his throat, and he looks at me astonished. I dig my tongue in his hole and he tries to suppress a moan as best he can. I pull his ass lips apart and penetrate deeper. He pushes up my head to look at me. “That’s where I shit, man,” he says, in excited disbelief. “Yeah, and I was just sucking where your piss comes out.” I tell him. “Body parts can multitask, or didn’t you know that?” He answers by pushing my head back between his legs. Aside from his tight body, he’s got a glorious, sweet puckered hole. It’s so tight but winking madly. I swear his lips are kissing mine, both of us intensely responding to each other. I swirl my tongue around and into his hole, and he’s rotating his hips because of it. I give his hole a variety of rimming techniques. I flatten my tongue and give him a long, wet lap—which I can tell his hole loves by flaring out—then drill inside him with a pointed tip and flicker it till he gasps some more. “Push out,” I encourage him. He does and his hole opens like a tiny, budding flower. I take advantage and pull those petals apart, and dive inside him much deeper where the pink petals turn to a deep red well. I’ve had many teachers, most of the older men from the lake, who have over the years shared their rimming knowledge with me, and I love sharing that now with Reznor. “It doesn’t have to hurt,” I tell him looking over his luscious balls. I lick them, too. Pop one testicle in my mouth, then the other. He gives me a rare Reznor smile, albeit one that’s extremely filthy. He pushes my head back down wanting me to eat his hole more. The boy knows what he wants. He’s relaxed and it’s easy to ply his ass lips farther apart with two fingers. My tongue run three-sixty clockwise around the inside of his hole, then in reverse. I drool and push the saliva inside him, twirl my middle finger in deep until I feel his prostate. I rub it till his excited as hell, in full heat. I love playing with his body; everything's new to him. He’s drawing in breaths excitedly and I know he’s primed for cock, specifically, my cock. I reach into the nightstand between the beds and pull out my lube. I slip out of my gym shorts springing my woody, grease my pole and tenderly slick up his hole. Slowly I plunge headlong into the warmest, softest hole you can imagine. He is so wet, wanting to be fucked. There’s nothing forced. His ass lips flare as my cock penetrates him, pushing back my foreskin feeling my cockhead burrow into his hole. His libido matches mine—I want to fuck him and he so wants to be fucked. His eyes are closed and I don’t mind just looking at his features as I slide inch by inch inside him. His full lips peel apart in astonishment, revealing his bright teeth reflected in the cool moonlight. The scruff of his chin for the first time I find attractive, feel it with my fingers, gather it in my mouth, as I’m stroke my cock with his velvety sphincter. Within his body he’s clutching me tightly, but his hips rock so that I know he wants more of me. I reply with three-quarters of my cock enjoying the last few inches of opening him up. His eyes flash, encouraging me to go on all the way. As I grind my hips, swirling my cock to stir his colon, he reaches up, grabs my hand. He flings my hand across his face, smacks himself with my palm. Hard. It startles me, this thunderclap across his face. Reznor looks at me to see my reaction. I guess I’m more puzzled than anything. I want to pleasure myself in his ass not cause him harm. But as I’m fucking him down to my balls, he takes my hands and places them around his neck. “Please,” is all he says. I’m not sure what to do. I put my hands on either side of his face, but he grabs my wrists and puts my hands back on his neck. As I fuck him, I gently squeeze his neck, my thumbs at his windpipe. “Harder,” he rasps. I keep fucking his hole and, I knows it’s perverse, but my hands at his throat gets me leaking inside him. His hole is extra wet now, more slippery than before. This increased lubrication intensifies the pleasure I feel in my cockhead. My shaft is slick. I fuck him harder. I tighten my grip. Reznor’s face begins to turn red. “Hurt me, Kyle,” he gasps. He’s starts stroking his erect cock. The harder I squeeze my hands around him the faster he strokes. He nods his head as he looks pleadingly in my eyes. I choke him in earnest, seeing his face turn purple, his eyes bulging. And as fucked up as that is, I can’t stop myself from fucking him harder, and feel him shooting hot ropes of cum onto my chest, which makes me cum, hard, inside him. I hold his neck in my hands, shaking, until his eyes go blank. I release my stranglehold and he heaves hoarsely for breath. His hands reach up and grab my shoulders as he stares up at the ceiling. He’s not with me. There’s a shell of a person my cock is inside of, but Raznor’s somewhere else. It takes a moment for his breathing to coming back to normal, his eye to glow alive again. He keeps hold of my shoulders, squints his eyes with intense concentration. He whispers, “I see it.” I look at his face, then over my shoulder to see what he’s looking at. My cock oozes out of him, and I feel a small flood of my sperm dribble out. His eyes are fixed in the corner of the room. “Fear and dread,” he says, dazed, staring at Mars. “Fear and dread,” I echo.

As much as I like to swallow cum, and have my mouth used, I really like it when a guy shoots his load all over my beard and on my face. I especially like it when they use their still erect dick to smear the jizz all over my face oh, but no matter how it ends up there, smeared or splatters, I leave it there to dry. I know that it's silly, but I like to believe that it marks me as a cock sucker, and somehow via aromatherapy or pheromones oh, men will know that they can use my mouth for pleasure

So I agreed with this guy on Grindr and I asked him if he had condoms before leaving and he said yes. When I arrived at his place, he said: “do you want to smoke 🪴” and I accepted. After, we started kissing and two minutes after his dick was in my mouth. Then he said let me fuck you, and started playing with my ass. Suddenly I saw he was trying to get inside without a condom. ”Don’t forget the condom” I said and he continued “don’t worry I’ll wear it in a bit, I’m just playing”. 30 seconds after, the tip of his dick was inside of me. I asked him again for the condom. he stopped went to his closet and took a condom, lube and the poppers. “Have you ever tried these?” He said pointing to the poppers. “I haven’t” I replied. then he gave me the poppers and said “try it” while pushing his cock against my hole. When I hit the poppers I forgot about the condoms and 30 after his raw dick was all inside of me. ”Try it again” he said and I said “I will after you put the condom” he replied saying “don’t worry, I’m just playing it is just the tip”. I hit the poppers again and next he was fucking me hard with is raw dick. I was high on weed and poppers he was a muscular daddy and I was so fucking turned on watching the condom next to me and that beast raping me raw. I hit the poppers one last time and two mins after he was dropping his load inside of me. ”Oh shit I came in you, sorry, couldn’t resist, next time I’ll wear a condom I promise” He just raped me and I loved it. there was no next time, and since then I’ve been fucking raw. Now I’m addicted to guys cumming I my ass.

I've always equally enjoyed giving and receiving blowjobs, but for fucking I am all top. The first few times I was with men, in my 20s, I did bottom, and I would bottom perhaps once a year after that. As @hntnhole says, there had to be some special connection for me to want to. Eventually, I took stock and realized that I get physical pleasure from topping, whereas my pleasure in bottoming was more psychological than physical. It was vicarious pleasure, from seeing the top let go and enjoy himself. (None of this is to say that habitual bottoms don't experience physical pleasure; I'm very glad that they do!)

I was in the dark backroom of the Eagle fucking a guy, as was my habit since I'd figured it all out. As I was fucking the guy, I felt a hand on my ass - said over my shoulder "sorry, bud - can't help you with that", which was my usual answer to a guy feeling my ass up. But, the guy continued for some reason. As discussed in more depth in a previous post, at some point it was like an Epiphany: I had been conditioned into closing off half - 50% - of the opportunity to "connect" with the greater community of rawmen, since I considered myself exclusively Top. After a few moments of soaking up this realization, all the while rutting in the Hole I'd been fucking, I did reach around and felt the guy's Cock behind me. It wasn't all that thick or long, pretty "normal". The dawning of realization became all the more intense, and - while I'd only had the Cock of my life-partner in my ass before (and it was much larger than was even remotely comfortable), I'd never felt a Cock shoot Sperm up my gut. But the Epiphany - the Awakening to the possibilities of that "connection" allowed me to say "take it" to the guy behind me. I never did care for Cock up my ass - still don't - but in that moment I felt so "connected" to every other Cock, every other Hole, every other sexually adventurous gay man, I allowed it. It didn't feel good - but the overwhelming sense of connection was magnificent. Uplifting. Empowering. Enabling. All kinds of awesome feelings - sensations. I never did see the guy who first pumped Sperm up my gut. I knew he was wearing gear, I was able to see the Boots, felt the Leather. But when he did, I shot my load so hard into the guy I was fucking, I thought my toenails were shooting up the Hole too. I very seldom take a Cock up my gut, but I know I can - and I know how beautifully that can magnify the majestic connection to Everything. I don't particularly care for the mechanicals required to get fucked, and I don't particularly care for the process of it. I need to really feel closeness, sense of sharing, a sense of Brotherhood in a Universe of men being with men on the deepest levels to allow it, but - I know how intensely magical taking another man's Cock/Sperm into my gut can be. So, I do know how changing positions can bring new awareness.

I agree completely with your thoughts, @AirmaxUK. As for why gay men, still facing some oppression from outsiders, "find it so easy to turn on each other", I chalk it up to rising levels of equality. Gay men are just like everyone else, and we are now free to behave just like everyone else, including being mean to one another. In truth, there has always been an effort to exclude people on the fringes of the community: effeminate men, fetishists, trans people, and other non-conformists. A knee-jerk justification was that conformity was necessary for the gay community to appear respectable and to gain recognition from outsiders. You see this in the film Der Kreis, about an early European gay men's organization. Trans people, and gay men who resist monogamy and gay marriage in favor of continuing to openly fuck lots of random men, seem to be today's main targets for exclusion. The targets change over time; there will always be a new "other" to put down. As for difficulty finding gear for all body types and sizes, what a shame. Gear manufacturers, and fashion companies in general, are missing out on lots of potential revenue. (I was going to write, "missing out on a large market", but I wanted to avoid the trap of double entendre. 🙂) The odd time that I see a porn actor with a regular body, or an ad featuring a heavier person, I am always happy. Until more people wake up and realize that beauty comes in all sizes, don your tailored gear and have fun!

Here's one guaranteed to cause further division. How do you feel about smoking only after sex? Blanche Devereaux says this part is optional.

Hot mate, lucky you. Spontaneous, risky fucks are always the best, just getting down and slutty 😜

But that's just it. Some things must be faced head on. You don't need to dance around them. The best and worst times in my life happened in the Navy, and given the choice between having to relive the bad parts so I don't forget the goodand never having been in at all-well, I'd choose being in every time.

Yh it was great! I felt to slutty.

So hot! I bet that anonymous dick felt amazing in your ass.

I used to think he was hot. Attitude and personality can add or subtract hotness points. He’s gone into negative hotness points now.

👍 👍 👍

I love to look into the eyes of my breeder, it's a powerful connection that you only get during an intense fuck.

I can see the adverts now… ”because I’m worth it” 😜

With The Flash, though, you’d have an upsides and downsides. Downside: The fuck would be over practically before it started, but Upside: he would probably recover from his refractory period in seconds and be ready to go again. Downside: Friction blisters on your anus.

Not exactly red flags, because if I'm attracted I'll still probably fuck you anyway, but from this vers top guy's perspective here are some tips to suck less in bed: 1. Don't start begging me for my load only 2 minutes after I put my dick in you. OK bottoms, I know some of you have a huge fixation on semen, but one thing that is guaranteed to make me not come is if I start feeling real pressure to come now. In fact, it can take me quite a bit of time to come, and sometimes it only happens after I've had one or two other guys. Yes, I know that might be disappointing to some who want a load from every guy they fuck, but try and look on the good side. I enjoy the fuck whether we both come or not. I'd rather have five or six guys and come at the end than two guys and come in both of them. Never thought I would do this before I started fucking BB but I've even faked it with a few guys just to shut them up. 2. Don't just lie there. OK, a lot of guys have hangups about male-male intimacy, but if you come into my home, take off all your clothes, get on all fours and wait for me to put my bare dick inside you, we're already pretty intimate. Kissing helps set the mood, no harm in a bit of foreplay, and when you're getting fucked, being a little bit responsive and letting me know how good it feels makes me a better top. Reaching behind you to pull me deeper into you is very nice. This does not mean 'top from the bottom' which can easily also become annoying. Good bottoming is a skill just like topping is. 3. Most importantly, don't confuse sexual position with a personality trait. Topping and bottoming are both different ways of having sex with men, and believe it or not, one isn't more gay than another or less macho than the other. 'Fun' story, I put together a three at one time between one guy who was a regular fuckbuddy and another guy I had just met. The regular fuckbuddy had to leave halfway through because he got so upset at seeing me get fucked by the third. Turns out I had only ever topped him and he had built up this fantasy in his head of the strict top who never got fucked and couldn't deal with this not being reality. Please use logic here and don't allow your brain to become fixated on very rigid received ideas. If you absolutely want to do only topping or only bottoming yourself, fine, I lean more to the top side myself, but at least allow yourself to consider the fact that sometimes the best sessions involve a lot of flipping and two guys exploring each other in lots of different ways. But yeah, if you are hot enough, you can do all of these things and I'll still fuck you, but you are definitely not making it onto the list of my most memorable meets.

Was on Grindr today and found a blank profile with a hotel room nearby, decided to give a shot and see what he is after. He at first was a bit stand off ish then suddenly he became very keen and suggested a time in an hour to meet. I was curious and horny so I went to the hotel messaging him as I got closer, he asked me to come to his room the door would be unlocked and to come in strip and be ass up on his bed. That got me more keen so I did as asked and stripped when I was in the room putting my ass up and messaging I was ready. he came in as I kept messaging other guys for later as I felt his hands on my ass, he asked me to not react to him so I kept texting. I got a message from him saying that he heard I took it raw so was I ready for his daddy cock. I told him yeah by text and within a minute I felt his hard wet cock push against my hole and began fuckinf me, pushing my head down until he came. after I got a message saying he had fun and he thought he recognised me and told me to say hi to my dad when I see him.

The best thing about discovering LIFE OF THE SPARE as it still being written is the immediate pleasure I've found reading your earlier stories. You have such an extraordinary body of work already shared here and it is your story telling, not the sex scenes (alone), that keeps expanding your audience. This is my first time writing. Based my on my own quiet appreciation of your work, I suspect you have no idea how many fans you truly have. I believe I only have two more stories to read before I am 100% focused on a royal wedding in Monrovia. When it comes to your writing, I could care less if anyone is poz, bugged or chasing. That said, this story truly honors the forum where you choose to publish. In fact, a discerning reader who looks beyond the stealthing practices of men damaged by absolute family rejection can learn much about HIV from several characters in this story. Learn how passion can cause even the most cautious person to engage sexually without discussion or condoms. Learn how those infected can choose to take responsibility for their own actions while also holding unmedicated barebacking tops to a greater portion of any blame. Learn how those tops can still be loved and forgiven. Through Jamal, we got a glimpse of how someone with a likely high infection level might choose to forgo medication for an undetermined period of time. Through Sean at the beginning of their relationship, Simon was reminded that those who love want their lovers and friends to do everything they can to prolong health and life itself. I'm able to enjoy your stories having grown confident that the underdogs to whom you introduce us will find acceptance, love, opportunity, family and community. Learn that you might have a young or middle-aged person face a life threatening situation but would only have something truly tragic happen if it served the greater overall good. SPOILER ALERTS And that takes us to Joshua. His post helicopter "ever after" was completely unexpected. On the surface, I admired you allowing for the possibility of him being damaged by family and life but that someone could believe in his mental healing. But not before I worried that he would escape and scare or harm an expanding circle of victims. What I nearly missed was how even some of the most damaged gay men, ones with unlimited resources who likely could make a bad guy truly disappear from this planet, also understand the cost and strain that would bring to the victims they hope to protect. Simon's willingness to poz one night stands, and his wealthy friends' capacity to pay virtually any price to fuck who and how they want, comes across as having little respect for life. With great wealth likely comes some belief they might always have been pursued for money -- doubting if they (or anyone for that matter) can truly expect unconditional love. In your stories, we find young people and not particularly rich people giving unconditional love. In turn, proud men who plan to pay their own way in life learn to accept love, gifts and comforts beyond what they could have ever imagined. Simon's will has been rewritten at least one more time and it no longer matters whether five year has passed or not. We know Sean was only seeking someone to love him and not his porn fame. We know Simon felt only unconditional love from Sean and perhaps everyone he left significant inheritance for. Simon very likely died undetectable but certainly knowing he was loved for who he was more than what he had. Rich indeed.

Let the guys that want to fuck you bare do it, especially the dude from Bareback Blonds. You’ll be so much happier a decade sooner.

What a fucking moron, the garbage he was hanging out with would be very happy to beat him to death for being a fag. Stupid fuck I hope he ends up living under a bridge after he gets out of prison in a decade or more.

Woke up for work yesterday tired as hell and really contemplated calling off but I was like nah let’s push through it it’s Wednesday only a few more days till the weekend. Got ready for work and left for the train station. I walked past a car where I caught a glimpse of the guys phone screen where he was looking at some dick and ass snapchats. I paused for a second by his car but kept walking. I got to the train station and sat down. A few min later the guy walked in and we immediately made eye contact. He walked over and sat next to me. He quietly asked me why I was creeping on him earlier? Til him I was just walking by and happened to see him scrolling through some dicks and holes. He asked if he liked anything I saw? Told him didn’t really take a good look but one of the dicks on there looked big and hot. He asked if if I wanted to see another big one. Told him I’m always down for that. So went into the bathrooms around the corner. We walked in he threw his bag on the ground took off his shirt undid his belt and unbuttoned his pants his semi hard dick flopped out it was a nice thick 7.5 dick with a slight left curve. I reached over and grabbed it and started to slowly jerk him . He pushed my shoulder down and I got on my knees and began to suck him. He put his hand in the back of my head and pushed me into his crotch. His dick began to get bigger and and push further into my throat. After a few thrusts his dick was rock solid and sliding in and out of my throat. He pushed me back on the ground and got between my legs. Spat on my hole and I’m his dick and grabbed my hips. He pushed hard against my hole until his dick piped inside me and he slid all the way up inside me. He started to fuck me full length strokes of that hot hard dick. We heard the train coming but he was balls deep in me. He began fucking me harder more power behind his thrusts. I moaned out and he grabbed me by the throat. Started really pounding my hole as we heard the train leaving. His raw dick sliding in and out of me deep and hard. I wrapped my legs around his waist and told him to breed me. He started ducking me faster his balls clapping on my cheeks. He thrusted all th way up inside of me and moaned out as he began to shoot his load in my guts flooding me. I jerked my dick as fast as I could and shot my load all over his slim abs and mine . He pulled out of me said see ya around slut and left. I was still on the floor nude and full of his cum I called my boss to tell him I won’t be coming in. Got my clothes back on and left with an ass full of strangers cum.

It's a Latino thing too to present as straight but fool around with guys on the side, and not just topping but bottoming too. There's a couple straight strip clubs near me and it's easy to pick up guys there who are horny and just wanna get a load off...don't care if you're a dude...will fuck you and load your ass, and I gladly take it. I certainly hope all the anal sex is straight porn is normalizing fucking guys. And in general a lot of the guys I get hit on are straight/bi guys and they seem to appreciate it's no strings, no commitment, no judgement, and I don't make them wear condoms to fuck me.

Satanic, Hypno, Poz, raw, piss, feltch

I’d been drinking, and in my inebriated mind decided to walk home rather than wait for a night bus. After checking a couple of apps, I was feeling a bit horny even if I had no mind to do anything about it. It was then when I noticed the illuminated sign for the sauna. I’d passed it many times before and knew it had something of a reputation for its theme nights where one night it’s Daddies/ Bois or no towels or whatever. I decided that I would pop in for a bit, freshen up in the shower and maybe get sucked off. Job done. Once I’m buzzed in I realise that I’m actually doing this, and so check in for a towel, give reception my email for some reason for their mailing list, and head into the changing area, clumsily undress and then head into the main part of the sauna. After doing the rounds – and discovering there’s even a sling area, which stank of piss – I settled into a wood cabin that seemed fairly quiet bar the two older daddy types, mid-50s, looked like regulars but were in hot shape, gently feasting off each other’s bodies, teasing each zone and clearly been there a while. I settled down on a bench to the side and vaguely watched them. One of them reached over under my towel and put his hand on my stiffening cock and smiled “What have we here?” He leaned over further and began nibbling on my cock. Fuck. I hadn’t quite budgeted for this, but my horniness seemingly had me pinned to the spot as his mouth started to suck. His mate slid over and handed me some poppers. I felt obliged to really. It seemed rude not to. Although the minute I whiffed a few snorts my head felt like the wiring had come lose and all that now mattered was this hairy dad feeding on me. His mate leant into kiss me and again and suddenly I’d never wanted this stranger more. I felt the cocksucker’s fingers probe my hole, somewhat looking confused that it was dry and tight, but almost instantaneously the evidence of a sick grin replacing it. “Slow night brother?” It took me a moment to realise he was talking to me. “Uh… not really. Just a bit drunk and horny” I replied. “Hehe, nice. Drunk and horny on a PozBro night. I get you” “Wait, what? I thought that was Tuesdays...” “No mate. Been Thursdays for the last four months. Every other week we let in non-members and chasers” “Really? Ah okay. Bit of a mistake. I’ll leave you guys to it then” as I went to get up, the popper daddy pulled me backed into a kiss. I was beginning to feel strange, and realise these fuckers had me in their web. I could hear the door being locked and started to feel panicked “Not so fast bro… Hey Steve I think we’ve got ourselves a newbie!” I kept struggling as Steve pulled out the poppers again. Fuuuuck. What was in them? They were making me react the way they wanted. My body betraying my frantic mind. Half terrified, half horny. Jesus. I could only hope to get out of this alive. “I think you’re right Glen. Luckily for him we’re on a recruitment drive. I think we should showcase a few of the membership benefits while he’s here.” Glen was starting to tease my hole with his tongue. Oh boy, not felt anything like that before. I had begun to bliss out with the intoxication, feeling reasonably good despite the fact I was naked, horny, off my face in a locked room with two poz fuckers talking about recruiting me. Holy shit. I found myself turning my face to Steve’s cock. Man, what a fucking amazing poz tool, I thought. Thoughts that evaporated as I begun to suck down on it. Meanwhile Glen had been probing my hole, and I’d been slowly aware of letting him begin to probe me further. I wasn’t quite understanding my behavior, but everything felt so good and right and I figured I could risk this. They must be bluffing, I thought, there is no way someone would be so toxic that it would take immediately… That’s how I looked at it. Surely every guy doesn’t get pozzed instantly… That said, Glen was still pursuing my hole. I noticed him spit on his cock. I hoped there’d be lube but it was unlikely I was to get a smooth ride. These two fuckers know too much as it is. “That’s one tight hole there. Good thing you have us here to help you realise what a pleasure centre you can be. So much potential for you as a pozbro”. Oh fuck.

I just got home after spending several days in Key West staying at the Island House. I got fucked and bred by many men while there. Some were short and quick fucks, others were long and erotic. Not all ended up with a creamy reward being deposited into my hole. Of course some were hotter than others, but they were all hot in their own way. This is the recounting of one of the hotter fucks of my weekend…. I’m 95% bottom and really had no interest in topping over my birthday weekend in KW. Dispute turning 40 I can pass for 30, and was hoping I the tops would appreciate my slim trim build, and my tight and welcoming hole. I have close buzzed dark hair, and hazel eyes. The top in question was a taller finger muscle stud. He is the type of guy that I always want to slut out for, but I never expect to want me. This is was after happy hour on Sunday, so there was already an extra layer on the sexual charged energy that the IG is known for. With the sexual energy pumping thru my veins and some cum leaking from my hole I decided to leave my boyfriend on the sun deck as I took a lap around the property on the hunt for more loads. i make a full lap thru the pool; slowly strutting by with just my sunglasses on which I dropped off in my room. Towel in hand I really up the stairs and around the balcony looking down on the outdoor hot-tub. That’s when I saw him. In the hot tub with a group of other muscle men. I slow my strut as I walk past and his eyes lock on mine and it was obvious that he wanted me as much as I wanted him. Our eyes are locked on each other as I walk into the dark playroom I can see him standing up to get out of the hot tub. I know my next load is secured. I walk into the dark room and hear the sounds of sex and hit my poppers. I move around the room checking out the action while my eyes slowly adjust, and I can make out the figures in the room assess what’s going on and where there is room to find a seat or claim the fuck bench. I made my way to the back of the room when he walks in and we make eye contact. He takes his seat to the left of the fuck bench and I kneel in front of him. I look up into his piercing blue eyes and I run my hands up and down his legs, up his abs and chest, teasing his nipples and back down to his legs. While we make intense eye contact. I hit the poppers again, he asks to use them too. I happily oblige. I love a top that’s into poppers. i take another hit from the brown bottle and begin my oral assault on is cock. i want this fuck to last and not be quick so I take my time and start slow. Working the tip of his uncut cock with my tongue. Slowly bobbing up and down, working more and more of his generous endowment into my mouth and throat with each bob of my head. Switching back to sucking to licking, to playing with his balls, hitting the poppers, playing with his muscles, back to sucking, back to the balls. I know he is in that room to fuck me and am not worried about him finding a better offer and giving his load to a different bottom. So I take my time and enjoy sucking his dick. I can tell he’s enjoying it too. We are passing the poppers back and forth and loose track of time. Not sure how long I’m on my knees or who’s watching or even who is in the room. I’m in my element. But he is ready for my hole. He whispers “do you want my dick inside you?” This is all the encouragement I need I bob up and down a few more times, remove his masterpiece of a cock from my that and stand up. I asses the room to see where our options for fucking are. Thankfully the fuck bench is free. I claim it is my own, jump on top and start wiggling my ass so he knew I’m just as ready to get fucked as he is to fuck. we both popper up and he places the tip of his cock on my hole. His cock is still covered in my spit, and I have plenty of cum in my hole, lube is not needed. He stats to push into my ass, I sigh and press my hole back into his cock. We both sigh as he bottoms out inside me. He lets me adjust to his cock while it is deep i so me me. Now his assault on my ass begins. He is a good top and he works my hole good. I can tell he wants to be dominate and be in control of the fuck. I put my head down and relax into the fuck. I resist my urges to push my ass back in to his cock and control the fuck. I let him pump his dick into me, condoling the speed and the tempo. A crowd forms to watch us live out out uninhibited carnal desires. I get off on the men watching me get used, enjoying myself getting unplaced on a cock. And older top takes his place at thr end of the fuck bench and won’t stop smacking my face with his cock. I try to ignore him and push him away but he continues to get my oral stills that he saw on full display earlier. I keep my head down abs keep hitting the poppers. I look up as my boyfriend walks in and we make eye contact. My man has a thing for twink bottoms, but a muscular ginger is one of his favorites. I see his cock stiffen as he assessed the scene. He walks around to my right side and I grab his hard cock while my ass continues to get fucked. I start to give my boyfriends thick cock the attention old man wants from me. He gets the point that he is not wanted at the front of the fuckbench, and I am able to push him away. My man takes his place and I take a deep bit of poppers push my ass back on to ginger boy and start to give my man the same 5 star blow job that the ginger got. i once again get lost in the fuck. Between the ample cocktails during happy hour and the poppers they I continue to hit I loose track of time again. This could have lasted 5 minutes or an hour. I’m bobbing on a cock that I have known for almost a decade, while a new cock continues to pound my hoIe. I’m giving my best efforts to both the blowjob, and working the muscles in my ass to give ginger the best fuck possible. I think they are making g out while they use my body for their pleasure. The speed picks up behind me, his breathing shallows, his body tensed, and I hear “are you ready for it?” I respond with. Muffled “fuck yes!” Who know if it was even recons I le as I was in a haze of ecstasy, not to mention there was a cock down my throat. I hear him start to loan while his body tenses and my hole is rewarded with his load. I release the cock from my mouth as well and I reach back and grab his ass for hung his cock deeper into me. As I grind my ass on to his cock begging him to fuck his load deeper and deeper into my hole, as I massage his dick my my well trained ass muscles. His cock is slowly getting soft as it slides out of my sloppy hole. He leaves the room, and my boyfriends also makes his exit. I relaxed onto the fuckbench feeling used and loving every moment. I collect my thoughts and I slowly come down from my poppers high. I stand up, grab my towel and start searching for my next load.

If answering selfishly for my own pleasure? Any position where the Top is long stroking my hole while exerting maximum pressure on my P-spot as his dick presses up and glides against it. I don’t subscribe to any one position as Tops cum in different shapes, sizes, and styles. But if he knows how to throw his dick in me the right way, HEAVEN!

I think for a good percentage of men, the gender of the person they're fucking is unimportant. What matters is getting off. These would be the "any port in a storm" types where the storm is their need to cum by means other than their own hand. For them, "straight" is about who they would be in a romantic/sexual relationship with and/or who they are physically/romantically attracted to. When the little head is in control, that's lust, pure and simple - there is no physical or romantic attraction to the object of the lust, be it male or female. Just like such a man would fuck a woman if one were around, available and interested (and he didn't have to jump through too many hoops), he would fuck a man (or get blown by one).

I'm a former smoker but not one of the preaching types. If we hook up at your place smoke all you like - all I ask is if we hook up at my place you go out and smoke next to a (private) open patio door

I'm told my cum tastes sweet and I've smoked all my life.

I just have to say… you are so talented! I get so wrapped up in your words it allows my imagination to consume me and nothing else but the story plays out in my mind just like a movie. Its so real it’s almost as if i have ACTUALLY seen the movie… if that makes any sense. It also helps that i was in the Army 15 years so it really does manifest easily having knowledge of the topics you touch on and the fond memories of my time as an MP in the Army (mostly all under “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” so this absolutely touches home for me!)

So when I come for this work check up the first thing you do is go into the bathroom and pee in a cup. There were already 2 cups sitting there. I just couldn't help myself. Stuck my tongue in both of them.

Thank you for writing such a well written story and sharing with us all. A great mixture of hot sex, piggy sex all intertwined with real history and real dates....it reminds me of the author Ken Follett - The Pillars of the Earth in that regard. The character development and concept were great. Extremely well done. A real treat to read. I hope to see more of your creativity. Cheers

This is like a movie proposal by John Waters.

Thanks for the awesome feed back guy its means a lot, I'm glad your all enjoying the story so here is part 11 its a long one 11 Gray felt all of Alverez weight slam into him as he shouted for him to go, the force enough to send him falling though the small gap in the grate with a ripping noise. The jagged metal had torn off his bandage and ripped through his fatigues and causing a flash of pain as it bit into his skin in several places. Only his vest protecting his torso from being shredded. Gray knew Alverez had been right, there was no way the large man would have been able to squeeze though that gap. That thought flashed though his mind as he landed on his hands and knees in the foul river of filth pouring from the pipes with a splash the thick substance clinging to his skin like oil, he coughed and spluttered stood and wiped off what he could quickly and pulled a pen light from his vest shouting back to Alverez “I'll be back with help just hang on!” he clicked on the light and began to run though the foul liquid slipping and falling several times in his haste. It was not long before he reached a large open room with a narrow walkway around the edge, the floor a large hole where the river of waste flowed presumably into a sewer or water treatment system. Gray's mind working to keep him from panicking telling him that this would have been where the old air conditioner units would have been housed as he spotted a ladder bolted to the wall. Carefully moving to it, the grating of the platform and his boots slick with the oily substance of the tunnel forcing him to go slowly. He reached the ladder his second problem announced itself painfully as he reached up to grab a wrung. His arm flared with pain and he screamed though his clenched teeth the burning pain throbbing though his arm as he tried to catch his breath his head spinning. Gray has forgotten about his wounded arm mostly thanks to the adrenaline that had flooded him at the sounds of the screams. Once his vision settled, he looked up he could see the hatch in the gloom above not forty feet up but in his condition getting to it would seem like climbing Everest. Not that he had much choice at this point he tucked the torch into a loop on his vest and began to climb. The process was painful but simple he would use his good arm and legs to move up a wrung then slip his injured arm though to brace himself and then repeat. Even with this method he was in constant agony and almost fell more than once over the course of the climb the searing pain becoming almost too much, but after a while he reached the top his good arm reaching up and feeling for the release handle and freedom. The scream of agony that echoed down the tunnel and around the room made Gray wince as he pushed the hatch up his friends screams continued and made his blood run cold, he had to get help but he knew it was already too late for them as he pulled himself up and out of the darkness of the pit into the night air, The thing had them now. he wiggled free and lay on his back taking a moment to breath in the cool air and let his now burning arm stop throbbing. The pain seeming to travel though his whole arm now in waves of heat. He rose Shakely from the ground and made his way around the building intent on getting to the van and calling for help. only to stop and press himself against the concrete and steel of the building, bright light cutting into the night from the front of the building. Be he knew they were supposed to be alone the mission quite to prevent the media getting wind of the labs true purpose. he kept to the shadows and moved up his training taking over to see a number of men in black uniforms cordoning the place off. As he watched bewildered at the scene, a man in a black suite stepped into view talking on his phone gray pulled back further in to the shadows as the man stopped by the concrete and steel pillar, he was using to hide behind oblivious of the blond techie. The voice was southern, the drawl and twang reminding him of his husband Jason when he got drunk and his accent would bleed though “we’ve sealed off the building” a brief pause and the sound of a cigarette being lit “yeah their in there alright just as planed ain’t no way out once lockdown sets in” the man took a few puffs of the cigarette and continued “I hope this test was worth it them were some good men” the sound of the cigarette hitting the floor and a shoe scuffing it out and the sound of the man in the suite walking away his voice being drowned out “i know I know …....” Gray was shocked had they been set up, been a test run for that thing to what … see if it could take out military trained personnel. His stomach sank as it all made sense a creature who could be dropped behind enemy lines and disable … no not just disable but turn enemy combatants into more of it. Gray swallowed and realized he had to get out of there if they found him, they would likely kill him for knowing too much. Unless he changed the personal files for the mission to say he was absent for some reason then work to expose this ... this horror show. He stood and still in shadows waited until he had a clear run to the van all its doors open presumably searched to ensure no information had been taken out of the building. Gray slipped past the guards, they were facing the elevators to the labs not outwards and also on low alert. After all he and his team were trapped down there with no way out so why patrol the area again if no one could escape. Gray stayed low and spotted what he was looking for his messenger bag under the passenger seat he was glad there such had been sloppy enough to leave it, again they had no reason to believe they would be back, his civilian cloths and spare tablet were nestled inside safe and sound. He winced as he moved away from the Gentech building and its sculped landscape using the shadows as cover. His whole arm still burning and the scratches on his legs now hurting too but he had a plan. It was about an hour of walking the streets of the nearby town, getting close to early morning before Gray found what he was looking for the generic twenty-four-hour franchise gym coming into view. He sighed with relief as he moved up the sliding doors allowing him access to the bight and clean anti chamber. He pretended to rummage in his bag looking for his access card as a young man in his late twenties walked in looking the deshelled, beaten and filthy Gray up and down with a raised an eyebrow “you okay Dude?” his voice carrying obvious concern Gray looked up and smiled taking in the young man properly, close cropped ginger hair with a spray of freckles across his handsome pale face framing his sparkling almost golden eyes. he was only a little taller than Gray at 5;10 his cloths hiding what Gray knew would be a gym sculpted master piece. “yeah man sorry lost my card in my bag” Gray nodded to the card reader and tried to look awkward and apologetic. The young man chuckled and nodded at Gray “what's up with your get up dude you look like you like you have been wrestling gatters or something” Gray inwardly smiled he had been ready for this “yeah just got off set of a zombie movie there shooting in some disused factories not far from here and the portable showers had a que thought I would just head here instead” The man's eyes lit up and he almost bounced with excitement “no way dude … I freaking love zombie movies” he swiped his card and ushered Gray into the Gym “I've seen them all dude, kind of always route for the zombies you know" he flashed a dazzling smile “Your gonna have to tell me about it if you have the time” Gray nodded and thanked him as they walked into the deserted gym only the two of them being in the place at this ungodly hour. they split the ginger man heading to the weights and Gray heading for the Locker room with the aim of trying and look more human and less zombie so he could get home and think of a plan. Gray couldn't help but notice the man's eyes linger on him as he walked away, he inwardly shrugged the guy was a zombie nerd and would want to know about this fake film. Gray stripped and stood naked In front of the mirror seeing how bad he looked for the first time. Black oily filth covered him looking almost like he had swam though oil and tried to wipe it off, with streaks where his sweat had run down in rivulets. it did however cause his muscles to look more defined he thought absently. His hair matted and limp more black than blond was plastered to his head, still damp with sweat. His eyes looked to the small hole in his arm no longer seeping blood but the area looked red, sore and inflamed the blood dried there darker than Gray would have expected. The tiny cuts on his legs from the grate were the same he sighed no only had the wounds gotten infected but it looked like he was very dehydrated he could fix that downing a gator aid from his bag and noticing it tasted terrible. He limped slowly under a shower head and turned on the water hot enough to feel it stung as it hit him but he sighed as the shower slowly unknotted his muscles washed away the filth of the last few hours of hell, if only it could wash away the memories, he saw Alverez face flash in his mind for a moment and felt the guilt of leaving him to face the monsters alone but not knowing how to help him then or now. he was only a few minutes into his shower when her heard the Locker room door open and soon after feet rounding the corner the ginger man now naked and taking a shower head close to Gray despite the large shower room being empty. The man taking in Grays body and giving him nervous glances like Gray might bite him, or Gray inwardly sighed beat him up being gay. Gray’s eyes wondered over the Adonis next to him too, his creamy white skin dusted in freckles and golden ginger hairs in all the right places on his sculpted chest and abs forming a treasure trail down to a cock no bigger than five inches nestled in a small patch of pubic hair with a pair of nice large balls, then a perfect ass and sculpted legs with golden hair thick across them both. The man smiled and Gray gulped his body feeling to warm his heart racing at the sight of this man’s body, his mind screaming at him to take him right there in the shower to fuck him mercilessly until you erupted in that perfect ass. Gray fought back against the urge not knowing where it was coming from but it was hard almost like he was fighting and instinct. The man spoke this time seeming quite shy seeing Grays eyes take him in “I'm Conner” he chuckled “you know it’s a stupid thing but I've always found zombies to be super sexy” and “um you in that get up kind of ummm well” Gray almost chocked as Conner’s shaking fingers reached out to brush his "I..I'm Gray ...I...” he tried to say I'm sorry I'm married to the man who was obviously new to cruising. but something inside made his fingers intertwin with Conner's and the pale man's breath seemed to catch and he stepped forward awkwardly. Grays hand went up to his neck and pulled conner into a kiss something else taking control now something dominant. their lips met under the water spray delicate at first then more forceful more needing. as Gray twisted and pushed Conner against the tiled wall suddenly taken by the forceful need to fuck this man. Conner grunted as his back hit the tiled surface but he looked into Grays eyes as the man moved into to kiss him again. They were so dark almost black Conner thought as Grays lips touched his and the man's tongue invaded his mouth taking away all thought for a moment as both their tongues war for dominance. Gray pulled back first and slowly moved down Conner's chest and abs kissing all the way down water cascading off their bodies. Gray found the man's cock rock hard and twitching as his mouth wrapped the head as his tongue swirling around the swollen gland and it tasting better than anything he had ever tasted before. Conner moaned as his cock slid down Grays throat his hands entwined in the blond hair down to the pitch-black roots using it to force his cock further down the man throat as he let whimpered and cries or pleasure. Grays throat and tongue massaged and flicked the member getting the ginger Adonis moaning louder, bucking and writhing taking him to the brink. pre cum flowing into Grays mouth and onto his tongue like divine nectar, Conner eyes closed muttering and moaning his enjoyment hands roaming over Gray’s body caught the hole in his arm, Gray shot back the still twitching dick forgotten, he let out a hiss of pain as he stood turning off the shower. The ginger man looking horrified “I'm so sorry dude I didn’t mean to hurt you are you okay I'm …" Gray put a finger to the Conner’s lips cutting off the man's apologies and taking the young man's arm led him to the benches in the main locker room “it's fine just got hurt on set today” the lie falling from his lips quickly the need to continue and to fuck this virile young man all-consuming all thoughts of his husband gone of anything but sex gone. “now where were me” gray said as he lay the ginger man down on a bench as he knelt on the floor sliding between Conner’s creamy muscular thighs Conner gulped and looked into Gray's dark eyes “oh yeah ummmm I know it sounds strange …. but can you pretend you're still a zombie it's like a fantasy of mine ...like I know its freaky but ….” the words spilling from his lips in a rush and he winced expecting Gray to have pulled away in disgust. Gray on the floor pushing Conner's legs onto his shoulders and nodded cutting the man's frantic talking off again as he started to lick and nip on man's inner thighs, Conner closed his eyes and let out a small whimper as greys tongue began to explore his ass. Needing to fuck this man, he would do anything so Gray let out the best rasping moan be could as his tongue flicked the tight hole and slowly worked its way inside before pulling out and pushing a finger in ever so slightly, he them went back in with his whole mouth taking a moment to moan again and let his teeth graze the sensitive skin near Conner's quivering hole in a delicate bite, Conner moaned “oh no please don’t .. how could I let this happen … no don’t bite me” Grey lapped at and probed the shaking man's tight hole a little more before he bit him again, this time on the meat of his left cheek hard enough to leave a mark and caused the man thighs to close tight on his head from the spasm of pleasure “oh god what are you doing get off me … no your monster … you can't” his voice moaned out in pleasure Gray started moving up the man's body now kissing and biting as he went each time conner would whimper in pleasure his eyes still closed imagining Gray as a zombie about to devour and turn him. his breath caught coming out in small gasps of pleasure as grey stopped to play with his delicate nipples his tongue dancing over then as he nipped them and teased them with his teeth. then there were the ginger caverns of his armpit's musky from the work out the smell making Gray’s cock twitch and leak as he buried his face into each snuffling and try to lick every drop of sweat, this new sensation caused Conner's voice catch mid moan the man now bent almost in two and pushed backwards on the bench “what are you …oh fuck that feels amazing .. Oh, fuck you're eating my pits fuck!” Grays cock now hard as iron and leaking was on target for the man's perfect hole still slick with saliva as Grey got to Conner’s neck he licked it and Conner Moaned in pleasure “no please don’t I don’t want to die” Gray simply let out another raspy moan and bit down hard enough to make Conner gasp and his legs to spasm off Grays shoulders. Conner's hips slammed down causing him to impaled himself on Grays cock he let out a shout of pain at the speed and force of entry, Gray felt his head and most of his cock slide into Conner's velvety tube as it spasmed gripping and squeezing the invading shaft. He knew an experienced bottom himself that the man's ass would be torn at least from that possibly worse. Gray let out his own moan of pleasure and leaned down to hold the man not moving in any further letting him adjust to the invader. He just licked and nipped on Conner's ear letting out his best zombie moan. This seemed to settle Conner who wrapped his legs around Gray’s waist rocking slowly Gray took the message and started to fuck the ginger man who was muttering “oh god don’t cum in me … oh god I will be infected oh fuck” his arms around Grays neck his eyes still closed. Gray pulled the man back onto his lap now still impaled on his steel hard dick his thrusts hitting deeper into Conner who was now just moaning unable form thought or speech as he used his legs to help Gray thrust deeper as Gray continued to kiss and bite his neck. Gray’s speed increased he and conner moaning in joint pleasure not long before he felt his cock begin to swell “I'm gone cum in you human I'm going to turn you” he moaned still trying to stay in character for the ginger man. “oh fuck man... do it, curse me …. make me like you I need it … oh fuck you feel so good no dude has ever felt like this before” Conner managed to moan out as he felt Gray pulled him right down to his cock’s root pushing past Conner's second ring. Gray screamed in pleasure as his cock started to pulse over and over rope after rope of cum filling the ginger Adonis up. Conner could feel the pulsing deep inside himself men had cum in him before but this felt strange its like he was tingling all over but it also felt amazing, Conner moaned out in ecstasy his hand dropped to his own forgotten steel hard cock Grays cum somehow making him hornyer than he had ever been before. Conner let go of Gray and lay down on the bench his hand waking his cock with furious speed as he wiggled that muscular ass up and down on Grays hard dick still deep inside him “keep fucking me … please keep ...oh fuck I'm close … I'm so close” Gray started to fuck the Conner again as he fucked himself on Grays dick. He wanked faster biting his lip eyes still closed, until he slammed his ass down on Grays cock again pushing the man's dick past his second ring and let out his own orgasm scream “OH FUCK IM CUMMING!!!!!!” and his cock exploded over his chest and face, Gray moved fast to get his mouth around spitting organ sucking greedily Conner whimpering as his sensitive member was milked for every last drop. Gray realized the burning feeling in his body was returning as he continued to suck the man's dick dry before licking up the rest of the pure cum from the man's chest and face they kissed then long and passionately both trying to catch their breath, Grays cock still in Conner’s ass as they held each other for a time Conner was the first to speak “fuck man that was amazing your just … fuck I don’t even know” as Gray began to pull out of him and stand. Gray just chuckled going a little red and pulled on a long-sleeved shirt and joggers “Yeah that was definitely something else” then he remembered he was married and the guilt started to set in unsure of why he just cheated on Jason he looked away from the naked Adonis laying on the bench with shame on his face. Conner seemed to pick up on the emotion as he started to speak quickly "hay I hope the zombie thing didn’t freak you out or something … it's just you get weird fantasies watching movies you know?” Conner said as he sat up looking shy and everywhere but at Gray “and don’t worry you came in me I'm on prep you know … just in case something like this happened …. not that it happens a lot” the words spilling from his lips in a torrent the ginger man quickly pulled on his cloths. Gray pulled on his sneakers and turned to tell the man there was nothing to be embarrassed about but Conner had raced from the room leaving only his contact info on a slip of paper Gray picked it up with a pang of guilt and slipped it into his pocket before heading out to find a ride home.

2. Opening Up "In here," Tiago said, opening a door to a white, brightly lit room. In the middle was an examination table, complete with a set of metal stirrups at the base. James walked in, blinking in the bright light, and Fabien brought up the rear. "Can you get the kit from the closet?" Tiago asked Fabien. Fabien nodded, and walked back out. Tiago turned his attention back to James. "We'll need to do a full physical examination," he said. "Can you strip down for me?" James was still a bit dazed, and took off his shoes and sock, then his shirt and pants. He stood there in his underwear. Tiago looked him over. It was hard to miss the bruised on his face, body, and arms. Nor how his eyes were hollow and empty. Tiago felt his dick twitch, but it was too early to think about that. The boy had been through a lot, but his journey had barely begun. "All the way," Tiago said. "Everything?" James asked. He needed the little bit of protection his underwear offered. He didn't want to be completely naked, especially when Fabien came back. "Everything," Tiago said. "What do you think of Fabien?" "Uh..." James started. He pushed the underwear down and stepped out of them. His dick was soft and limp; the last thing on his mind was sex. He wasn't sure if he ever wanted to be touched again. "I saw you checking him out," Tiago said. From his pocket, he pulled out a phone and another device. He fumbled with the two for a moment, then placed the tripod on the desk, arranging it so the phone pointed directly at James. He tapped the screen. "I have to record this. Now. What happened last night?" "This guy. Conrad. He lives in my building. He invited me over, and I went." "Were you high?" "Yeah. And he gave me more." Tiago's dick was starting to grow. "Did you have sex?" "Yeah. He fucked me." "Did it hurt?" James opened his mouth, but as he started to speak, Fabien walked back in with a black canvas gym bag. "This?" he asked Tiago. "Yeah," Tiago responded. "Close the door," he said, and turned back to James. "Did it hurt?" he asked. "Him fucking you?" "Yeah," James said. He looked up from the floor just enough to see that both Fabien and Tiago were watching him. He felt like a mouse, and the two cats were just playing with him. "Did you ask him to stop?" Tiago asked. "Yeah," James said. He could hear Conrad's laugh. It was harsh and joyous, disturbing and amusing. Conrad had gotten off on James's suffering. "Did he?" "No." James was trembling, remembering how the man's cock had felt inside him. It had been white-hot, burning him. "He didn't." He started to cry, hating his weakness in front of the alpha males. "None of them did." "Them? How many were there?" Tiago saw Fabien rub his groin. "Three," James said. "I think." "Think?" Fabien said. "Could have been more?" "I don't know. I can't remember." He was shaking, cold, tired and sore. "It's going to be all right," Tiago said. "We just need to do a physical examination. Can you get up here?" He pointed at the examination table. "Now, lie back," he continued. "I'm going to put your feet in the stirrups." He didn't wait for James to say anything, but put first his right foot, then left in the leather loops. He tightened them slightly. "Please. No," James said, desperate. "I can't...," he started, but he choked and never finished the sentence. "It's ok," Tiago said calmly and gently. "It just holds your legs in place." Tiago didn't mention how the position left James's ass exposed and defenseless. "Relax," he told James. "We're just going check you out." James closed his eyes. He heard Tiago unzip the bag, and heard the clink of metal against metal. He shivered. It reminded him of the sound the metal carabiners had made as he struggled to escape Conrad's bedroom. He hated that when he thought about it, he couldn't remember any of the details, no matter how hard he tried. But yet, the slightest noise would remind him of one more unbearable moment from the night. "Just relax," Tiago said. His voice was now coming from right by James. "I'm going to adjust the head." He grabbed the pad James's head was resting on, and slid it into a pocket on the exam table. He used his free hand to cradle James's head, and Tiago gently lowered it, so it was hanging off the side of the exam table. James carefully breathed in and out, forcing himself to relax. He was aware of just how naked he was, and how exposed his hole was. Now his mouth felt equally vulnerable. He opened his eyes, and saw Tiago kneeling down, a flashlight in his hand. Standing next to him was Fabien. James could just barely make out the outline of Fabien's cockhead; the denim was lightly frayed, like he was often erect. James had a vision of a thick cock from the night before. He had been in the same position as he was now, his head hanging off the side of the bed. A man had forced his cock into James's mouth and down his throat. He remembered gagging, and the man only pushing deeper. He gasped, and shut his mouth. "Wait," Tiago started to say. "Please," James grunted, then closed his mouth and eyes. James was trembling a bit; he felt his cock try to climb inside him. "Please," Tiago said. "I need to examine you mouth." James tried to open his mouth; he would get it half way, before he remembered choking on a cock, and close it. "Can you open it?" James finally shook his head no. He knew it was too scary. "Let me try something," Tiago said. "Is that ok?" James nodded. "Open your mouth. Just a little." James opened, and Tiago slid a thin wire assembly. It was cold, and James shivered. "Give it a second," Tiago said. He ran his hand over James's exposed body. James focused on the touch, trying not to remember how Conrad had done the same thing as he had played with James's hole. "Better?" he asked. James nodded, and Tiago continued. "Here we go," he said, and pinched the levers to the side together slightly. In James's mouth, the wire assembly sprang open, forcing his mouth open. James lost it. "Fuck, please. Please, please," he said, struggling against the metal restraints. "I can't." As James begged, Tiago noticed that Fabien had stopped trying to hide his dick. The black man was now plainly stroking it, staring at James's futile struggle against the mouth spreader "Sorry," Tiago quickly said, and snapped the spreader back closed. "It's ok. We don't need to use this right now." Fabien stopped stroking as Tiago smoothly pulled the spreader out, and popped out the head support. "Relax," he said. "It's going to be ok. Breathe." He held James's hand, as the boy's breathing slowly returned to normal. "That's ok. I'm going to get something, ok?" James nodded. Tiago let go of the boy's hand, but kept touching the boy. He looked up long enough to see Fabien still watching the two. He was still young, and hadn't yet learned a good poker face. He was horny, and he couldn't hide it. He winked at Fabien, then turned back to James. "I'm gonna get you something," he said, "Something to help you calm down. It'll be just a second, ok?" James nodded. He was crying slightly, and his eyes were red. He hated being naked, his ass still exposed. But it wouldn't be that much longer. So much had happened, and he needed some time to process it. But, before he could say anything, Tiago returned. "Open your mouth," he said. "It's going to calm you down." He took James's hand, and repeated himself. "Calm you down." James opened his mouth slightly, and quickly, the doctor inserted a pipette into his mouth. He squeezed the plastic bulb, and a thick liquid hit the back of James's mouth. Before he realized what he was doing, he swallowed. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" Tiago said, as he handed the used pipette to Fabien. "It's ok?" James said, still trying to hold himself together. "It's hard," he said. "Hard to remember." "It's good to remember," Tiago said. "It helps." Fabien smelled his fingers from where he had held the pipette. "What was that?" he asked. "It's ok," Tiago said James, not yet acknowledging Fabien's question. "Right? It's ok?" "Yeah," James finally managed. "I think." "Good," Tiago said. He turned his attention to Fabien. "It's called GHB. It's good for anxiety and panic. It's sometimes used as a club drug too. But this is how it is supposed to used." "GHB?" James said, finally realizing what he had just swallowed. "No, man. I just can't. I remember taking it. With him." He left the antecedent blank. Even thinking about Conrad's name was hard. "Just breath," Tiago said. "This is ok. This is what it's supposed to be used for. Relax. This is ok." "I know. I need to do this." "Yeah. You can do this. I'm here. Fabien is here." Tiago held one of James's hands, and Fabien took the other. "Just breathe. Relax. It's going to be ok." Slowly, James's breathing slowed down, and he stopped shaking. "You doing better?" "Yeah," James finally said. He hated that they had seen that. He had wanted to be strong for Tiago and for Fabien. "I'm sorry." "It's ok. It's hard," Tiago said. "Let's just talk for now. Is there a part of it that you want to talk about?" "I don't know. It's all. I don't know. Hard." "I know. It can be very intense." He focused his eyes on James. "Did you suck dick like that? With your head back?" "Yeah," James said. He tried not to think about gagging on the unknown man's cock. "I did. I gagged." He remembered choking, needing to breathe and not being able to. He started to tremble again. "Relax," Tiago immediately said. "It's ok. It's in the past." James started to calm down again. "You got fucked as well, right?" "Yeah," James said a second time. It was getting easier for him to remember what had happened, like so many dots were starting to resolve into an image. "I did." There had been a few men. They had all used his holes. "You're strong," Tiago said to him. It made James feel good. "It's good, isn't it? To remember. To share?" "Yeah," James said. He was feeling warm and calm. It was the G kicking in. He didn't mind it. "It's easier now. Talking about it." "Isn't it. Did they all fuck you raw?" Tiago asked. "I know how much you like it bareback." "Yeah. They all did," James said. It was the third thing he had admitted to Tiago. He wasn't as scared any longer, and it was easy to talk to Tiago. James wanted to tell him all the hard things. "That's ok," Tiago said. "It was ok to take their loads." Tiago's dick was dripping in his trousers. He wanted to fuck the boy, but he needed to eased into it. "It felt good," James said. "Inside me." "It does feel good," Tiago said. He turned to Fabien. "We're going to have to do an anal swab on him." Fabien was holding one of James's hands. But his other hand was discreetly rubbing against his dickhead. "Turned on by this?" Tiago asked. "Yeah," Fabien said. "He's really hot. And the story. Wow." "That's good. You said you liked Fabien, didn't you?" Tiago said. He was staring right at James, and nodding his head. James's head was spinning. He had said how hot Fabien was. This was just fun in the office, though. It wouldn't go anywhere. "Yeah, he is hot." Tiago smiled. "Yeah. And his story is intense. Just remember it can be hard for the person talking about it." He turns back to James. "I know this is hard. But we need to continue, OK? The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can move on to bigger things." Tiago nodded his head again. James imitated his movements, already spaced out on G. "Yeah," James said. "Get it over with. But I'm...." He started, but then trailed off. "Scared?" Tiago asked. "Yeah." "That's all right. We can get this done quickly, OK?" Tiago smiled and nodded. James mirrored him. "We can help you, is that good?" "Yeah. Just be here. With me." "Of course," Tiago smiled, and turned to Fabien. "Under the table by his waist and chest," he said. The black boy produced two restraining straps, matched by the ones the doctor was holding. "On three." Fabien smiled, and held the straps at the ready. "One. Two. Three." Before James knew what was happening, Tiago was tightening the strap around his chest, holding him in place. "It's all right," Tiago whispered into James's ear, as the boy struggled not to have a full-fledged panic attack. "Just relax. I hope this is going to go by quickly."