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Today I was being completely wishy washy about hooking up with this guy who hit me up on the apps. He asked me to come at 3, but I had just finished my workout and needed to eat. Because I was worried about how tricky it would be to clean out, I wasn't really giving him a straight answer about the hookup. I asked him to check with me around 6pm. 6pm rolls around. I've douched and have been working my hole open. I was getting horny. Luckily he was still horny and wanted to fuck. I get there and he's a little chunkier than his photos, but the most pleasant part was that his dick was way thicker than it appeared on the photo. I dropped to my knees and began servicing him. As he moaned, he kept saying, "You know your work", which caused me to grin because these big soft lips have been wrapped about the shafts of many penises over the years sir. I was having such a good time that I wasn't really ready to offer him my ass. Through his moans, he asked if he could fuck my ass so I spun around and presented it to him. Boy did I struggle with his girth at first. He pulled his cock out a couple of times, which is something I really don't like when I've worked hard to open up for a thick cock. I hit the poppers and managed to open up fully for him. I told him to fuck me hard and that he did. I was in the zone when he started grunting and unloaded in my hole. After he pulled out and went to clean up, I stood up and stepped in a huge puddle of cum on the floor. As I was leaving, he told me it's really hard to hook up on the apps and that he hadn't had sex in a while. I was pretty surprised to hear that because I just assumed tops only needed to wave their dicks at bottoms and they line up 😂. Well, I was almost a flake myself, but look at me now, all smug, with a nice little early Christmas present in my guts for my efforts. One of my regulars has already asked for pussy tomorrow (Christmas Eve) and another is coming on Christmas Day. So...hoe hoe hoe and may your holes be overflowing with cum this holiday season too. Merry Christmas sluts!!!😁🎅

I thought the slap only meant "I want you to know I bred you" and "I enjoyed your hole". I find that this happens mostly in anonymous settings. If it's a repeat fuck, I don't need the slap because the fact that he came back for more says it all.

I came out of the closet in my early 20s to friends and family. I had to come out of the closet a second time (about 20 years later) in my career. It took having a flamboyant boyfriend to make me realize that as long as I was hiding in the shadows, I was actually allowing people to use my queerness as a weapon against me. You can't be made to feel less than or scared when you walk in your truth and are proud of who you are. People will respect you more when you are living your truth. I once heard at a workshop on being queer in the workplace that: "People don't trust people who don't talk about their personal lives at work." I wanted to disagree so much with that notion until I thought about it. It's pretty darn true. Even if you are trying to be low-key, people will just gossip behind your back and fill in the blanks themselves. And if you are a single male over 40, most people have pegged you anyway. Nowadays, having kids isn't even enough to throw people off (my flamboyant ex had two adult kids when we started dating). Coming out is a highly personal decision and I would never out someone or tell them to come out, but trust me, you are only fooling yourself if you think nobody knows. And I wish more closeted men knew that coming out doesn't have to be this huge declaration where you say "I'm gay." A casual sentence such as, "I went to that restaurant with my ex a few years back. He loved it." And just like that, you're out. Dropped casually, but definitely noted. End of story. And to your surprise, most people won't bat an eyelash or give a fuck. Life is too short to be held prisoner over your sexuality. Live life. Be free.

I think it's quite healthy for gay men to have close platonic friendships with straight men. I have such a situation. I am attracted to him. He knows I'm gay. He's married (to a woman) who knows about me. I do think he may be closeted, but that's for him to sort out. He's a good friend. That's all that counts. Do yourself a huge favor and get some dick/ass elsewhere. And don't fuck this co-worker or any future ones either. You think you're feeling conflicted now? Just imagine how you'll feel if you start fucking him and things turn sour. Run all the scenarios in your head, not just the positive ones. Why is it that when some of us form a deep emotional attachment to someone, we think the final frontier is to be sexual? Enjoy what you have. Don't mess it up trying to make it into what you want it to be. Why not concentrate on meeting and building something with a gay man? Your options may be limited where you live so maybe it might be someone in another location. That will be healthier for you in the long run than longing for this co-worker. He sees you as a friend. He may even be sexually curious about you, but not every fantasy needs to become a reality. You come across as a warm, caring and very sensitive guy who is lonely. Protect your heart. Find a therapist to talk this out, even if it's online. Take a vacation someplace warm and get laid, ok?

I agree with the point made by @AirmaxUK that the focus should be more on cruising in person. I have been keeping track of the sex I have had the last 5 years and most of the encounters have occurred when I actually ventured into public spaces where guys are looking for sex. During the height of the pandemic, however, I focused on my fuck buddies. I think seeing a guy in person trumps any online exchange. First of all, those photos, profile texts and stats that so many of us rely on to make decisions become irrelevant in person. Do I care if he is 6 ft or 5'9" if he's hot? Do I ask him to step on a scale? Once his dick is hard, do I say sorry I was looking for 8 inches? Online cruising creates this illusion (by way of the search function) that you can have what you want, but the truth is your options are quite limited. You have got to establish mutual attraction and agree on sexual practices and roles. You've got to agree on a time and someone has to travel. In person, you can determine in seconds if you're down to fuck. I travel and support bars, sex clubs and saunas because I know by going there I'll be busy sucking and fucking instead of sitting at home typing and hoping.

Once they deleted the clips that I had bookmarked, the site was pretty much dead to me anyway so I'm not that upset to see it go. However, as pointed out by others, I understand why these steps were taken but am not 100% in agreement. That being said, I remember fucking a guy at MAL years ago that I'm pretty sure had hidden cameras set up. It is comforting to know that video may soon not be floating around anywhere.

Sounds like you two could use some time apart. Why not take a solo trip to have your fun and then report back in real time or when you get back home?

Double Scorpio poppers aren't cheap but they are the only poppers I use. I'm a fan of the gold. No headaches and I love the scent. Some tops don't like bottoms to use poppers because of how strong they smell. No such issues with DS. If you keep them in the freezer between uses, they last quite a long time.

For hygienic reasons, I have never been that drawn to slings. I've encountered many that don't even have any paper towels or disinfectant nearby so ewww 🤮. As for competing for tops, I have less of a problem with that. It's not like you are forcing the tops to choose you. However, if you are going over to other bottoms and intentionally cock-blocking or cock stealing - for example, you see a less attractive bottom sucking a top and then you swoop in and get the top to fuck you - then I'm wishing STDs and diarrhea for you. A good rule of thumb: do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Your looks will fade. I've never been a greedy bottom. I know from experience that the tenth cock doesn't feel as good - at least to me - as the first few.

I'm slightly above average when it comes to height, so the height of the top usually determines the position we will fuck in. If I'm more than 4 inches taller than him, then it's better if I'm on my stomach. If he's around the same height or taller than me, it's usually doggy, which is my preferred position. Missionary is reserved for guys bigger and taller than me. If the guy is hung, we of course have even more options.

I was in a relationship with a conventionally attractive guy who could get pretty much any guy he wanted. When we went to sex parties, he would go out of his way not to fuck the young cumdumps. I asked him why. He said the young cumdumps were likelier to have STDs. He went for the average looking, older or overweight guys. (Ok they could have diseases too, but interesting bit of calculus on his part.)

Most tops aim too high and I have to help them. I actually don't mind helping them find my hole since that seems to lead to fewer anal tears. But that being said, I have had sex with tops who actually get mad when you help. I've had guys smack my hand away. That's rare though. I admit that the best is when I've lubed up well and worked my hole open with a toy. Tops seem to love being able to sink into a wet, open hole and go to work.

I felt that. On pretty much all apps, I advertise as bottom. When I want to top, I just go to the bathhouse. If I put versatile on any profile, I'm overrun with requests to top.

Could it be possible that the apps themselves are playing a role here? I know some of them limit how many guys you can see if you don't pay for a monthly subscription. It wouldn't surprise me at all to learn that non-paying (bottoms) are not seeing what paying bottoms are seeing. Is this a possibility? If not, I'll see myself out for asking such a dumb question. 😂

I'll usually ask their name after we're done fucking if I am happy with the encounter. You didn't ask this, but it's worth noting that I won't give out my address unless the guy sends me a WhatsApp first. That way, I see his (WhatsApp) name - often his real name - and phone number. I figure if he's coming to my house where my full name is on my buzzer, then I want some record that we met in case things go left. The only truly anonymous fucking I do is bars, adult bookstores or bathhouses. I'd like to add that I never use WhatsApp to ask for a repeat. I'll usually revert back to the app where we first met in case the guy is in a relationship.

If this guy is climbing the ladder, he's bound to have a gay subordinate at some point. If you have the power to do so, I'd make further advancement contingent upon diversity and inclusion training. If you can't pull that off, then I'd at least set up a meeting where you and HR have a talk with him - if he indeed gets the promotion - where you discuss the operational (and reputational) risk of the company getting sued over discriminatory practices, sexual harassment or creating a hostile work environment. I know it's tempting to want to follow the path of least resistance here, but as a gay black man and a leader, you do have some responsibility to do everything in your power not to be an enabler in this situation. If the gossiper is fabricating it all, it still would not hurt for the guy to understand the role of D&I in building and managing high performing teams. One more thing: you will feel some kind of way if this guy ends up being your boss one day or is in a position to directly affect your career. You shouldn't be apathetic just because he hasn't clocked that you're a fag...yet.

If the warehouse fuck club you are referring to is Rage, it unfortunately has closed its doors permanently. The place was already struggling before Covid and went bust in the spring of 2020. The owner is friends with a guy I was fucking.

Fully agree. There's this trauma we experience when striking out that makes us hesitant to keep trying. Our dream guy is seldom going to pick our profile from thousands online, offer mind-blowing sex and become a regular, yet, we get trapped into thinking that this is how it should work. I think the real challenge is us expecting what once worked to continue working even though we are changing - and - the environment we are operating in is constantly changing. It's easy to become jaded, develop unrealistically high standards and place the blame on others. Apps got some of thinking that Scruff and Grindr should deliver like UberEats. What is wrong with us 😂?

I agree 100%. I've had friends and family get very sick or die because of Covid. Even though I'm vaccinated now, it's still in the back of my mind and it does have an impact on how much risk I take. It's one thing to risk getting a STD to fuck raw, but an entirely different level of risk to say I will still fuck randoms even if it means I could get very sick and die. I think about those times I spent hours in darkrooms or at sex parties with strangers and how that just might be a thing of the past.

I know the smell you refer to. It's really strong after I have spent some time working my hole and prostate with my metal wand before a fuck. My ass starts to produce its own lubrication then. The odor is distinct. The heat from the wand and the juicy hole makes tops weak in the knees. Luckily I know a multi-cumming top who is not intimidated by this. But sometimes other tops have to pace themselves so as not to cum too quickly because of the smell, heat and slickness of my mancunt. I wish I had learned years ago not to have a "microwave" approach to sex. Let that body heat up slowly and marinate in its own juices before you add that meat. The meal will be better.

You need to develop a thick skin if... 1. you're gay and cruising strangers online for sex. 2. You need an even thicker skin if you are part of a minority group (pick your tribe) within a minority group (eg gays) and cruising strangers online for sex. If 2 (above) applies to you, the moment you decide to focus on those who pursue you, the smoother things will go. I might send a flirt to a guy that I find hot, but as a general rule of thumb, I do not approach guys at all. I let them come to me. Sure, I miss out on a few opportunities, but my feelings don't get hurt either. These apps have got most people thinking they're entitled to the attention (and validation) of complete strangers. I know people on here disagree with me when I say it, but I don't get how one can be so butt hurt over a complete stranger not responding to them or liking them back. We don't go up to complete strangers on the street and expect to be engaged and to be fucked because we are interested, but someone this logic falls away as soon as we open an app. 🤷‍♂️ There could be 10 other guys wanting to fuck us silly and yet we are pouting over some asshole? Gimme a break 🥴.

Thanks for the encouraging news. The link I shared was from the siegesäule website, which monitors the queer scene in Berlin. I'll see if I can find someone there and provide your link. Unfortunately, we are still a ways away from the good old days. Germany is lagging on the vaccine front.

😭I had so much fun at this place. RIP.😥 [think before following links] http://www.bull-berlin.de/

Even if this straight guy at your job suddenly got curious and wanted to wade in the gay pool, there's no guarantee he'd choose to splash around with you. That's not meant to be snarky in any way. This is why I focus on clearing the path to those who are into me, and less time hoping that someone who is not even checking for me will one day wake up and find me attractive and want to hook up with me. I noticed from some of your other posts that you fancy straight men a lot (eg the friend whose cock you want). Is it the challenge of the hunt? Hooking up with gay men can be frustrating, maybe even boring. But we as gays can't start daydreaming too much about snagging a "straight" guy. Some gays see this as some sort of major accomplishment and that they're going to ride off into the sunset with the hot piece of trade that none of the other sissies could snag. Fun hot fantasy to have but it's just that, a fantasy. 😩 Love who loves you back. Peace.❤️

Isn't fussiness kind of tied to how many people you can sexually attract and/or your horniness level? I'd posit that If you get presented 5 cocks a year vs 50 cocks vs 500 cocks, I think that influences how fussy you are. Meanwhile, horniness and fussiness are probably inversely related. I'm hardly going to pass up sex if I am horny unless I'm really repulsed by the guy. And finally, I'd add the venue has an influence. Sitting at home behind a keyboard, yeah, my standards are probably unnecessarily high. If I find myself at a sauna/party, I've been known to let men who I'm not really attracted to fuck me. I figure it doesn't cost me any effort. Since he's clearly into me and willing to fuck me raw, I'll probably get a load to keep my hole slick. Why not? That guy is gonna be pleased with me afterwards, and by virtue of that, less likely to pester me the rest of the evening or cock block me.