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tallslenderguy

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Everything posted by tallslenderguy

  1. tallslenderguy
    To me, a bare cock through a GH is fair game. my experience has been they will let you know what they want by their response. i have often just backed onto a bare cock presented through a GH and that usually ends up with a load in my ass. If they don't want ass, they will pull back, in which case, i offer my mouth and end up sucking them off.
  2. tallslenderguy
    Your use of the word "automat" got my attention. i often compare app hook up sex to "fast food sex" lol, so Your use of the descriptor automat struck me. i'm grateful for Your perspective. i'm one of those guys who "writes endless messages" in an attempt to get to know more about the person because i love connecting with an individual vs a generic commodity. Cheers
  3. tallslenderguy
    Interesting feedback BareLover666. As i read it, YourNoLiimitsBottom is not talking about "ask[ing] what [you] EXACTLY want" but stating what gets his attention (and why) when a person voluntarily states in a profile who they are and what they are looking for. i see a difference.
  4. tallslenderguy
    Not sure you'll be able to definitively nail this one down (so to speak). First off, as an aside: as a bottom i measure a Mans cock by more than physical size. For instance, my penis measure ~7" and is fairly girthy, but i perceive it as smaller than Top who has a 'large' drive to penetrate and breed. 😉 One possible explanation for Your morning wood variance could come down to circulation. Our endothelial function is effected by what we eat. A meal high in salt can severely restrict endothelial function in the first hour after eating. A high fat meal can do the same for about six hours, the effects peak at about 4.5 hours after. The endothelium lines our vasculature and is responsible, among other things, for secreting vasodilators that help regulate blood pressure and circulation. ED is a circulation issue. So, one could propose that since You are not eating things that may effect Your circulation because You are asleep, Your circulation improves while You sleep and the positive effects are in evidence in the morning. There are all sorts of other factors, just playing with fun physiological facts here. For instance, another factor could be decreased circulatory demand while You sleep. I.e., You're not moving around and placing more demand from other body parts. Apparently, a cock never sleeps.
  5. tallslenderguy
    i hadn't thought of that angle... even friends of Dorothy would suffer.
  6. tallslenderguy
    Just left. my sweet FB, taking me trough covid and now monkey pox, really grated for the connection we have. It's easy and casual, but always deeply satisfying. When He needs, my need it turned up (always seems to be present), and within usually about 15 minutes He is here. i'm always naked and face down, door open. i prep ahead, leave lube on a towel next to me, and another towel by the shower. He likes to shower after. He pumped me full, i can never tell how many times He comes and only really know for sure when He is done and pulls out, though He always leaves a lot of evidence, always a cream pie. i think we both like the convenience of our connection. Last time, after, i asked if He wanted to piss and i followed Him and drank from His semi flaccid cock. His piss was strong, but i still swallowed while He was pissing. He offered on His own today: "I've gotta piss if you want." i wasn't sure whether He wanted or not, i hate to miss an opportunity to receive a Tops desire/need. i wasn't sure if He wanted or was doing it just for me, so i didn't follow Him into the shower. i hope i didn't miss Him. It's important to me to have mutual desire, not just Him doing cause He thinks i like it. A big part of my desire/need is to meet a Top at His desire/need. Time will tell. i have told Him to feel free to piss inside of me, He hasn't... yet? I'd love it, either way, as long as i can see lust in Him for it that merges with my own. Meanwhile, it was an awesome fuck as always. i'm creamy and gaping. All's well with the world.
  7. tallslenderguy
    Right? Our society has both subtle, and not so subtle, stigma against sex... especially gay sex. Half the population of this country voted for a guy who thinks God's gonna judge us all for having gay sex. Yet there are so many things that are obviously bad for us, like eating pizza or buying stuffin a ginormous plastic containers that turn into micro pebbles and permeate the fish we eat, or visiting a friend or family member in the hospital, ad infinitum. i have a sweet friend who texts me whenever he flies on an airplane saying if anything should happen, he loves me. It's too sweet for me to point out that he has more chance dying in a car crash on the way to the airport than dying on a plane, but he doesn't text me every time he gets into a car. Reality is, life is full of risks, whether we are conscious of them or not, we take many risks on a daily basis. i think an argument probably could be made that repressing ones sex drive could have deleterious health effects. 😉
  8. tallslenderguy
    I'd say "safer" vs "safe." Connecting with FB's vs hooking with anonymous strangers is prolly the only form of 'safer sex' i'll practice. Even that was rare, and nothing for the first 8 months of Covid. Now i'm back to one FB because of MP. Didn't qualify for the vaccine recently. Could of lied, but will get it when it comes more available.
  9. tallslenderguy
    To me this is a great example of the connection between who and how we are psychologically and our sexual physiology. As i see it, You were fucking this guy before Your physical cock entered his hole. To me the Guy who understands that our brains/imagination/emotions, etc., are also our sex organ, can develop a whole range of 'foreplay.' i don't take it so much as a compliment, well maybe a little, as i get excited by His excitement. my bottom wiring is such that i am very responsive to my Tops energy. If He is excited, primal, ready to bust, all of that is contagious to me. i pick up His rhythm and when He cums, i am ready to receive it. For me, it's not only His cum i am needing/wnating/receiving, it's His need/want to breed, to have an orgasm inside of me. The fuck builds anticipation, the orgasm is the "climax." How quickly or slowly His orgasm occurs, His orgasm still leaves His body and enters mine.
  10. tallslenderguy
    The title is tongue in cheek. i'm big on profiles. i'm often guilty of writing books when writing a profile, especially on sites that are more dating focused than hook up... though i have often wondered if gay guys only date in movies? Thought it might be fun, or maybe cathartic, to have a thread where we can post some of our 'favorite' profiles. Who knows, this could be educational too. i just read one today on a gay site that is relationship oriented: "Looking to meet a man with similar interests." That was it. No attempt to mention what those interests might be, he didn't even have a profile pic. Another favorite, and common among scammers: "Looking for LTR" or similarly: "looking for the love of my life." But again, nothing else. Okay, maybe they check some of the boxes indicating they are "top" "bottom," or "versatile," but nothing to idicate who they are or who/what they are looking for or distinguish them from bots or scammers. Another: "i never know what to write, if you have questions, feel free to ask, i'm an open book." lol, more like a blank book. If there isn't anything to indicate what the 'book' is about, how's a person to know if they want to read it? THen there's: "i like to watch movies, eat out and walk on the beach." That one is really distinctive. What are some of the profiles that just make you shake your head in wonderment?
  11. tallslenderguy
    i think the anonymity of online makes it easier for guys to be inconsiderate, bringing out their inner three year old. my guess is anyone who does that would to be a less than stellar fuck anyway, obviously self absorbed. It is enormously frustrating though. i think online hook up culture has mutated too. i used to have a fair amount of success with CL, running an ad where i'd be waiting naked and ass up. But it's never been perfect or 100% Nothing has ever beat cruising spots for me. "On my way" is never an issue at a cruising location because the real, serious Guys who want to fuck are already there. If i'm seriously in need of cock, i don't even attempt apps, i just go to the local ABS... covid put a damper on that for awhile, thank goodness for FB's.
  12. tallslenderguy
    To me, a "hard fuck" doesn't hurt... at all. The energy of a hard, pounding fuck is awesome, sort of animalistic? idk, but i LOVE it, not pain at all. i love a deep grinding fuck too though, different kind of energy and just as awesome. i've gotten to a place in life where i notice the energy a Man gives off. The FB i described above with the huge girth had that pounding kind of approach and energy, but i felt no intent from Him to cause pain, which is probably why i wanted Him again and again ad infinitum. His energy opened me psychologically and i figured out how to accommodate Him physically. i loved and wanted His particular kind of pleasure and orgasm... in me. It was a part of Him that He put inside of me, and i am grateful. To me that is so different from guys who want to hurt someone. i don't get that, to me, that is the opposite of connecting. A hard fuck, even what some term "rough" fuck, doesn't come across to me that way if the Man is just hugely needing to breed/seed me. That is so different than someone trying to hurt me. And honestly, there is a sort of psychological masochism that is a part of me, but that's another topic.
  13. tallslenderguy
    Not painful for me. i'm not a (physical) masochist, not into pain. i've prolly had a few thousand cocks, but and count on one hand the number of times i ever felt pain, and that was just initially when a Man had a huge cock and just shoved in. my hole has be conditioned and developed to be a receptive organ, and for a few years now, it's been a lot better at being receptive than retentive. No incontinence, but i do have to clench like i am milking a cock to keep stuff where it belongs. i had one Man who wanted to be a FB. He was not long, but His cock is probably still the biggest i diameter i have ever taken? The first time He fucked me, i got used to it, but took some time and was not really painful, but distracting till i opened enough for Him. The second time He contacted me, i demurred, but regretted doing so, i need/want a Man too much to turn Him down when He wants me. The next time He contacted me, i opened a bit with a plug before He got there, i learned how to open just enough to make it easier for Him to get in and give Him the freedom to just push in. This guy was seriously big, He'd pretty much fuck the cum out of me every time... wasn't an orgasm, probably all from the prostate, but copious amounts to where it looked like i had cum. i loved Him, He had wonderful energy. He really needed to fuck, and the more He bred me, the more i needed Him to fuck me. Sorry, big tangent lol. Good memory. i'd guess most total bottoms with some miles on them stopped feeling pain at some point? idk, i had been putting things in my hole since 7, so by the time i took my first cock, i was ready. my hole had already been molded to receive. i would guess that's pretty normal among total bottoms? Pain has never really been part of regular breeding for me.
  14. tallslenderguy
    When i was younger, i saw everything with an eye towards putting it in my ass. As i got older, i was more interested in Men putting things in my ass. i connect what penetrates me to the penetrator now, and i'm not a penetrator... But a couple of things that went in when i was a teen, my bicycle pump... and then, of course, i had to pump it. in my 20's i worked as a "maintenance superintendent" for a high school. I had a lot of tool sin my office, below is a pic of one of them. The newer ones are not as good. The one i had was heavy, solid metal, 30" long, about 1.5 inch diameter and it had a ball at the end instead of being tapered. i saw it and like Pavlovs dog, went into heat and started salivating. i Put it in a vice and backed my hole onto it, it was a pretty intense fuck for an object.
  15. tallslenderguy
    i was too. i found His old email from MIT and sent Him a note out of the blue. He responded!!! We wrote back a forth a half dozen times, but He was engaged and personable, to a complete stranger.
  16. tallslenderguy
    Oh wow, You were a Man of substance, even as a teen! This reminds me of a similar push back i've been privy to. i had the privilege of having a few email exchanges with Noam Chomsky a few years ago. He's an amazing, kind and caring Man. We were sharing some personal stuff and He told me that when He was younger, He decided He was going to be more religious than His father. Noam is Jewish, and this occurred when He was only 13 at the time of Bar Mitzvah. Both of Noam's parents taught at Yeshiva, essentially Jewish religious university. He told me that about a week into the process, He decided religion was not for Him. i am in awe that a 13 year old had the substance and presence of mind to make such a decision, which He has maintained His entire life. Interesting to me that Jewish culture has maintained the centuries old tradition that adulthood happens at 13 (puberty?).
  17. tallslenderguy
    i sorta hate apps that use texting, not sure i've ever successfully hooked with anyone using that format? The apps that use more detailed messages along the lines of emails work better for me. To me, shallow, cursory, exchange is incumbent to the texting format. i'm bemused by guys who are trying to find "the love of their life" or "ltr" using a texting app. i pretty much avoid text apps because i want more than they offer. i feel similarly about apps that have little to no profile. i see a profile as a way of putting a slice of your self out there. i am similarly bemused by guys with empty or simplistic profiles. To me what they are presenting is, well, "empty or simplistic." Unless that is what you are looking for, it doesn't seem to serve connection. i wonder if a lot of these guys are just hoping that someone else will do the work, take the risk of initiation and subsequent conversation? Personally, i want to connect, so i look for someone who gives as much as they want to get. If all they give is an empty profile, i won't be contacting them because they are essentially invisible to me. if they contact me with "sup" and no profile (or a non descriptive profile), they'll get an equally banal response from me. So, from me, i only initiate with guys who have put some substance into their profile, and i respond to something of their self that they have put into that profile vs a generic greeting.
  18. tallslenderguy
    i was in a traditional marriage relationship (with a woman) for 31 years. It wasn't all hell or heaven, but it was foundationally flawed since i am gay and bottom and she was straight, unaccepting and bottom. my story is all over this site in detail and in pieces, so i will spare the gory details. Briefly, i married because of religious and heteronormative cultural conditioning. Processing out of that conditioning was tough, but it was also the source of much of my understanding and insight into life. One thing i learned is how to find, identify and examine the status quo. So many of our ideas and standards of "relationships" are affected and influenced by dominant , non inclusive, culture. Some of those influences are blatantly apparent, others are subtle and under the radar. With that history, i have not been able to find a "relationship" with a Man since divorcing in 2008. i think that is mostly due to the fact that i am approaching relationship with all of the above and more. i'm not new to relationship, i may know too much lol. Ideally, i would want (need?) similar person. Has not happened. i don't rule it out, but don't agonize over it either. i get my "relationships" in pieces with many guys, and wonder if that is not the more realistic approach? Even if i found one Man where we had a lot of chemistry and mutual bonding points, i don't believe anyone can be everything to another. i think a lot of gay guys have discovered that in open relationship.
  19. tallslenderguy
    We're all individual, eh? Like a few others who have responded, i am the opposite of the OP. For me, ideally, the only orgasm i want is my Tops. Him wanting to keep me from having an orgasm by penis stimulation makes the connection deeper to me, and brings out the sub in my psychology. i see myself as total bottom first, and sub secondarily. For me, the more a Man wants to restrict my orgasm from penis stimulation, the more that energy and need for orgasm/release gets directed towards His orgam and release into me, and the more His orgasm becomes mine. When a guy wants to see or make me cum using my penis, to me, he is not being "Top," and i am not being "total bottom." To me, it devolves into 'role play,' which i do not want because which i perceive that as unreal, pretend, acting. This stuff is real to me, so it violates my sense of self to do something against my nature. That can get tricky, because i do have sub in my make up. i have submitted to guys and done things that they wanted because they used my sub side to get what they wanted. As i see it, they didn't really get to the point of total submission, which i see as them having deep control, possession, etc.. They got my obedience, but not the root, the core, of who i am. i avoid that kind of guy because i feel i am lying, being untrue to both of us, i'd rather go without than do that.
  20. tallslenderguy
    The use of qualifiers like "some" vs. use of qualifiers like "always" is an effort to avoid inference of "universal standard," but ultimately, one cannot control how a reader takes what is written. i agree, generally speaking, "a phone is pretty much...decontextualized," but would disagree that it can be simultaneously "pretty much" and "totally." The use of the qualifier "totally" seems to turn that into a "universal standard," and that may lack "creative imagination" and "emotional generosity." On the other hand, this thread is about the "etiquette of rejecting someone on Grindr." To me, that gives "context" to this discussion. i don't believe this discussion is about "random" text messages, but about guys on a gay site ("Grindr"), that has "specific" purpose. i copied this from the Grindr site: "Our Mission: Connect queer people with one another and the world." "Take this as sign that you need to expand your creative imagination and your emotional generosity...Laugh, shrug, nod, or whatever helps. but don't judge others by your own experiences" Maybe consider following your own advice.
  21. tallslenderguy
    i agree with those who recommend communication. There are different forms of communication, but i still believe if one is not communicating, they are relying on presumption or guessing. i think there are general meanings to the terms we use, like "Dom" or "sub" or ___________,. Communication provides a more detailed definition. i think a key here is what Your wrote: "Although I am a top, I want to be sure the bottom is having a good time too." Apparently, You want to know what pleases him, so asking makes the most sense to me. Personally, i'm one of those who gets erect when i'm turned on, but my needs and desires are individual, not a universal standard, and the Man i am with will only know those if we communicate in some way. If a Man shows interest in my penis, i get turned off, my perception is Men have a Cock, i don't. If He is hole obsessed and expresses His desires and needs to penetrate and breed me, i get hard as a rock. Depending on what He likes, He can ignore it, affectionately make fun of it, or stimulate it in some way that ramps me up, but does not give me release. If He wants to connect with me, He will find a way to make it clear He has a cock and i do not. The only Cock i have is not attached to me psychologically, the only Cock i have is the one a Top penetrates me with. Most Men are not going to know detail like that without communication. i think it's wonderful that You want to know. To me that does not negate the D/s dynamic, it potentially deepens it.
  22. tallslenderguy
  23. tallslenderguy
    Pretty much all of my sex the first half of my life was 'public.' Receiving cock under bathroom stall walls, in a stall together, through a GH, or in a cruising park out in the open. i'm not particularly exhibitionist, and i don't know too many guys who don't enjoy watching. Where that alters is if i am with an exhibitionist Top. If He gets off on Topping me in front of others, that evokes a sub part of my nature that gets fed and loves Him all the more for it. i think for me, is the unabashed display of dominance/submission and the affirmation of both of our desires and needs. For me, that "Topping" extends to WS and other things as well. A Man breeding or pissing on me in front of others is simultaneously vulnerable, yet an extreme example of want, and the vulnerability feels safe in that mutual exercise of want and need.
  24. tallslenderguy
    i just read this after writing my two posts, i'm sorry for all the grief this has caused you. i am grateful for your openness and vulnerability in starting this thread though. There are more than a few guys in this community, casual lurkers as well as serious participants, and everything in between. i think this is a valuable discussion with topics that have effects on many. i am glad the thread is here and active. ❤️
  25. tallslenderguy
    With no delusions about ease, i think you have an opportunity to raise a child with an open and accepting attitude towards others who may be different. As a parent, you have a prominent position in your child's development, social outlook and skills. You think the idea of being a father is "wonderful," so why not be a wonderful dad as you are, not hidden away in a closet. i know. Hard. i've been there. Being open and honest about who i am was one of the most costly decisions of my life, it costs less doing it sooner than later. But it was also the best and most liberating decision i've ever made. Freedom isn't cheap, but (i think) it is worth it.

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