tallslenderguy

i'm trying to wake this discussion by posting more. Caution, this is prolly gonna be long. i'm sometimes embarrassed when i realize just how important communication and, the emotional connection that goes along with it, are to me. "Embarrassed" is the wrong word, but i can't think of another descriptor? It makes me feel woman-like? My feelings don't aline with my thoughts or standards because i'm pretty feminist and anti patriarchal with my outlook and standards, so it's curious to me the attributes that i associate with being a woman would also evoke a sort of embarrassed feeling? i'm guessing that's just a conditioned feeling. But it's not a negative feeling in the least, it can be deeply erotic for me when a guy naturally Dom's me in matter of fact ways vs forceful ways, and attributing woman attributes to me has that emotional effect on me. For instance, when a guy uses the word "pussy" with me in a derogatory tone, it turns me off or has no effect, probably because i don't perceive it as the intended insult. When a guy uses the same word in a matter-of-fact way, or even affectionatly, it has an emotionally subduing effect on me and makes me physically receptive. i find guys who do that have often discovered their power to effect, they're usually "Dom" and that feeds their nature as well. To me, that's just one example of how much fuller interaction with a guy can be when it is more than physical. i wonder how many guys will just glaze over reading this? For a time, i was thinking that my deep desire to connect emotionally with a guy was just part of my sub nature, but i came to realize that was just a sort of ethnocentric notion. I.e., that being sub and more like a woman emotionally made me more emotionally aware and communicative, but it's not the case. Even though the "woman" (i hesitate to use the word "fem" because that is usually associated with affectations that i don't have) part seems to often be associated with sub, it doesn't follow that the desire to communicate and connect emotionally is just a female attribute. i've had discussions with a Dom/Top guy on this site who is equally frustrated with how many guys are "emotionally retarded." He too is frustrated by the number of guys who don't know how to connect emotionally. i am pretty convinced it's more a matter of ignorance than a conscious choice when guys eschew emotional connection, or maybe even substitute quality physical connection for lack of emotional connection? i've lately been having written exchange with a Dom guy on an online site. There's definite attraction between us, we've both identified that His Dom nature and my sub nature are naturally pulling us toward each other. But we are more than ion's floating in the ether, we have intellect and emotion that can add to and enhance relationship. He initiated the conversation. The truth is, i never would have initiated a conversation with Him because He had virtually no profile, once sentence. Not even pics (which i am convinced is how many guys unconsciously initiate relationship). He used the typical line: "I like your profile" (my profiles are usually in book form lol). i say "typical" because almost never does a guy say why they like your profile. sigh. So i asked: "what is it about my profile that you like?" (and that immediately makes me feel like i am being like a woman when i ask that, curious, eh?). His response: "because you know what you want and how to say it." Well, that pushed my buttons and started an exhange. But what happened was, i did all the writing and His responses were short and often didn't even respond to 9/10 of what i wrote. i was almost literally begging Him to self disclose. And that's where many guys seem to get the deer in the head lights look. Guys have been mocked (usually by women) for being shallow. i don't believe it for the most part. i think guys have just as many thoughts and emotions as women, but lack self awareness and/or the skill set to articulate what they think and feel (relationally). He responded how i sort of expected (based on experience) feeling awkward and cornered, He got defensive. He used the again typical response: "I'm an open book, if you want to know something, just ask." i gently pointed out to Him that that puts all the effort of relationship on one person, but that just pissed Him off. i see that line in so many profiles online lol. On the surface, it just looks lazy, but i think many guys write that shit sincerely thinking they are being open. Most of them never connect that not only are they not an "open book," they often don't even have a dust cover. But i like this guy, and again, i am convinced that the thoughts and feelings are all there, He just doesn't know how to express them. So, i took the approach of mirroring Him. I.e., i stopped self disclosing and just asked and answered questions with short answers like His. Within a few days He was asking: "are you okay? you've been quiet... It’s been a while since I read a long and beautiful message from you." i replied: "had the impression after one of our conversations that you prefer questions and answers as a way of communication? i've tried to scale back on long messages where i just share my thoughts and feelings. and just aak and answer questions. i have found that a lot of guys seem to prefer short, occasional test type messaging, and i got the impression that's what you like?" His response was almost verbatim what i had tried to explain to Him about Himself earlier on lol: "Asking a question or couple of questions isn’t the same as reading about your feelings or why you’d love to do with me when we are finally together. I told your earlier that I enjoy reading your messages even if I don’t respond with long messages." LMAO, the plot thickens. my response: "Exactly. When i tried to say that to you, it just seemed to frustrate and make you angry. "Asking a question or a couple of questions isn't the same as reading about your feelings or what you'd love to do with me when we are finally together." This is true about me too. Relationship is a combination of sharing oneself as well as asking/answering questions. But you seem to want me to share myself and the only way i can get to know you is by asking questions and getting short answers? You say "I'm not that interesting." i don't agree lol. What little i do know about you i really love, but you keep your self so deeply hidden. i know you are not used to sharing your thoughts and feelings, but that does not mean you don't have them, it just means you are not used to sharing them or having someone who wants to know you. i want to know you as much as you seem to want to know me, and "asking a question or a couple of questions isn't the same as reading about your feelings...." His response: "Well said handsome. Now I’m hard and I need your warm mouth wrapped around my cock! " Lol, so of course i'm in love with Him. Fuck. To HIs credit, He wrote a little more than that, made an effort, and He didn't respond defensively. Time will tell whether or not He will start writing more, i am hopeful but not counting on it. I simply think He has a common blind spot and, in addition, is not practiced in the skill of self disclosure. But this is a really good, real life example of what i encounter all the time with guys. i don't think guys are stupid, i fucking love guys and find guys totally wonderful, but it is so difficult to find guys who know how to communicate their thoughts and feelings. Emotional relationship has been hard to obtain, but i keep trying.

i wasn't the high school faggot, by that age, i'd learned how to be a chameleon and just blend in. i got bullied incessantly in elementary school and jr high school. i consciously realized my attraction to guys at 12 or so, but looking back can still remember all my grade school crushes on boys, can remember all their names, but never associated it. i was never called "faggot," but in grade school pretty much everyone called me "Twiggy," who was a female model at the time. i always thought it was because i was skinny and never connected that i was being compared to a female. Looking back, i can see i was pretty damned fem as a kid. When i was 9 or 10 i found a wig and dressed up as a girl one Halloween and all of our neighbors didn't recognize me and thought i was a girl. i got off on it, but my dad got really pissed when he found out. i hated being bullied and learned at a pretty young age to not be fem and by the time i was in high school, i was no longer the "faggot," other guys got had that distinction. i was still extremely skinny, i had grown a whole foot when i was 14 and also had a sunken chest to go with my slender build, so i was extremely self conscious and shy dressing in the locker room. One day in HS, as we were dressing for gym class, i over heard a couple of black guys say something about "bag pipes" as they were dressing, i naively turned to them and said: Oh, i love bag pipes" and one of the guys grabbed his cock and said: "oh yeah? here." i realized what they meant then of course and blushed and turned away, and then made a point of avoiding them after that. There was a lot of racial tension in my HS. When in HS, i'd go to the park and look at guys. A known "faggot" tried to pick me up once, but i was also religious and didn't really like him, so nothing happened. The only other sexual thing that ever happened when i was in HS a stranger in his 30's picked me up once when i was walking to the store. i was 16 and he stopped in his car and asked directions to the hospital. As i was explaining how to get there, he asked if i would show him and i innocently said "sure." i had to get in to his car on the drivers side because the passenger door didn't open. He told some story about his sick wife and as we were driving to the hospital, he pulled into a vacant lot and said he wanted to smoke a joint before going. i didn't get high, but was very familiar with getting high because my older sister did it all the time, so i thought nothing of it. He told me that the joint was hidden under my seat and told me to keep look out while he retrieve it. I was so naive, he said it was stuck up under the seat and he kept pushing on the seat, between my legs to "try and free it" while he kept insisting that i keep look out. i was so stupid, it took a bit before i realized he was feeling me up after my penis got hard lol and then it dawned on me what was happening. At that point i got scared and told him i had to go home. He asked me if i wanted to come to his place, but i was scared and said i had to go, so he dropped me off where he'd picked me up. i ended up jackng off frequently after thinking of him and remembering the event. Because is was so religious, i didn't have sex till i was married to a woman at age 21, then finally with a guy when i was 27. But as a high schooler, all my masturbation fantasies were about guys.

Okay, this one is sort of counter intuitive for me, but i saw a guy through a glory hole a week ago who was wearing “Daisy Dukes” (very short button fly cut off jeans), and he was so hot in them. “Counter intuitive” because I’d expect a fem or bottom to wear that, but when I presented my ass, he bred it. Love him.

i don't know that emotional can be separated from physical connection? i think it's a fallacy in some cultures that men are less emotional than women. i think males have been conditioned by culture to often hide or bury their emotions and that has fed the notion that men are less emotional. i believe those surpassed emotions come out though, but are often not understood for what and why they are. For instance, many guys have been taught from an early age not to cry, so their hurt and pain often comes out expressed as anger. i think it's changing, that men are more allowed to express feeling now days, but i think generally we have a lot of catching up to do. One of the biggest impediments i find to a deeper relationship with a guy is the inability of many guys to articulate what and how they feel. Often, i think they don't even know their self because they've never learned about introspection. But i think emotion is a natural part of being human and it is an important part of how we connect. "Mind fuck" is not a bad thing.

i've had little success with grindr. if i'm using online, i open several apps at a time. squirt, bareback, A4A are all go. i used to have most success with CL, but that's gone. Like CuriousDallas, if i am really horny, i cruise the ABS. Not unusual to get 4 or 5 cocks in a short period of time. i used to really like GH sex, but lately i feel like the wall just gets in the way of taking a cock deep, whether sucking or getting fucked. Cruising places are always better than online, guys are there because they want it now, so don't have to worry about flakes and ghosts.

i think this is hot actually. If i'd been the bottom and knew why, i'd have been flattered and loved you back.

i've never minded when that happens as a bottom. i honestly don't think there is such a thing as "premature ejaculation" when a Top is fucking me, any cock and cum (or piss) is get is fully 'mature' as far as i'm concerned. i adore your excitement and pleasure and am grateful to be a receptacle of it.

It's complicated, eh? It's probably impossible to answer the question as black and white in a world of infinite variation? i really appreciate that pigchaser asked the question though, and that we are discussing the topic on BZ. i think there are some golden discussions in this community, that there are a lot of thoughtful and intelligent guys here (as demonstrated in your post), and i count myself rich to be a part of this community. i think we (LGBTQ people) have often unconsciously internalized heteronormative notions and standards and i think discussions like this can expose that and help us have a fresh (our own) perspective. i think You are so right, people change (e.g., Tops become bottoms and vice versa, etc). Our personalities, as well as our sexuality seems fluid? i've restored a few historic houses and one of the things i've noticed in very old houses is the glass in the windows is thicker at the bottom than at the top. Glass is fluid, but it moves so slowly that it may take 100 years to notice a change from casual observation. Point being, some of our fluidity moves so slowly it seems to not move at all in a lifetime, some so fast, it seems enough for a dozen life times lol. We change in one way, not another, or multiple ways at once... infinite possibilities. i generally present as "total bottom" with a decided sub streak. i definitely don't fit everyone's idea of "sub,' i definitely do appeal to certain kinds of Dom's. When it comes to hook up, that's a lot easier because it's not a 'permanent', or ongoing, relationship, so compromise is pretty easy. In an ongoing relationship, i think compromise wears away at the bonds that are there, holding the relationship together, so it makes sense to me to try and identify ways to strengthen and maintain a relationship when the goal is ltr. i'm not opposed to monogamy, i think it can have advantages. Not opposed to open, i think it too can have advantages. Poly people have an interesting take on that (thinking of their efforts to commit to multiple partners). i see myself as pretty self aware. i also usually know how to articulate what i see fairly well. For me, one of the biggest impediments i've encountered when it comes to ltr is not "Top/bottom" so much as it is finding guys who understand and can articulate who and how they are beyond a simple label. While i identify as "bottom/sub" as my identifier, surface label, the contents are a lot more complex and require unpacking to get an accurate understanding of the ingredients. i think that's true about everyone, but finding guys who get that and want to explore each other together (i.e., "relationship"). It does make sense to me to surface (label) qualify initially, though that is not fool proof as you observe and note. While i identify that emotionally and mentally, i am "bottom/sub," i also have this thing about me where a guys ass is visually my favorite part of the male anatomy. For instance, looking at Your drop dead gorgeous ass fills me with lust and simultaneously makes me weak lol. And the "lust" i am filled with is not the "i wanna fuck it" type. Though i could honestly see my lust being manipulated that way, it wouldn't be a simple process (i've been 'Dommed' into penetrating guys, but it uses my sub nature). For example, the prospect of me inserting my penis into a guy does not stimulate an erection, but guys talking about breeding me can make me hard as a rock. Go figure? Those are just some details associated with Top/bottom, Dom/sub relationship that i personally see. Of course, there are as many "details" as there are guys and combinations of guys, so narrowing the details of the foundation (i.e., identifying general sexual compatibility) on which we might attempt to build ltr makes sense to me.

i love the feel of the energy, desire, emanating from the guys wanting and ready to breed, but having to wait their turn. i kinda goes without saying that it feels amazing to be continuously fucked and bred by a variety of Tops, but the feeling of endless desire is top of the list for me. my absolute favorite is if one Top or Dom is in control or has instigated the gang bang, then my focus i primarily on Him. For me, it's like the desire and breeding energy gets channeled through Him and it concentrates it, like turning Him into a super stud.

i have several cages, 6 i think? 3 metal (two of those are micro with/without urethral tubes) and 3 plastic. i really like the micro with a solid cage the best, and i like the idea of a urethral tube, but am concerned about a UTI wearing a urethral tube long term. For me, a cage is as much a mental and emotional cage as it is physical. i don't disassociate the cage from the person who applies it, so if i put it on myself, i am essentially caging myself and it doesn't have the same effect. i have the same issue with toya as well. For me, using anal toys on myself feels like trying to top myself and i'm not top, so it doesn't 'feel' right. Same with a cage, putting a cage on myself feels like trying to 'dom' myself and it doesn't have the same effect as having a Guy tell me He wants to cage me because He wants to control any touching of my penis and my orgasm. When a particular Guy puts my penis in a cage, it has the effect of associating my penis with Him, i.e., He owns it and my pleasure, so it makes me think and have feelings about Him vs just going without.

So to me you sound versatile or top versatile? I’m Not sure there’s a right or wrong answer to this question? There are many here who identify as “Total Top” or “total bottom”, throw in stuff like “Dom” and “sub” and it gets more complex. I don’t doubt there are guys who are compatible in other areas and are willing to make the sex trade off, but I think what often qualifies as ‘love’ is often codependent or quid pro quo.

i answered "no, would have to be open." Having said that, anythings pretty much possible, but i don't think it is sustainable in a healthy way for two sexually incompatible guys to try to force a closed relationship? Why not just become a monk and join a monastery?

"been told by my toilets...." ❤️ Good point about meds and vitamins. The two major clearing systems for the body are the liver and kidneys. The liver sends waste out the ass, the kidneys in the urine. E.g., NSAIDS (most over the counter pain drugs, except tylenol) get pushed out throughs the kidneys. The truth is, our bodies are in a daily battle to clear toxins from just the processed food we eat. Our bodies are not adapted to the Western Diet, it is the number one cause of disease in the 'the west.' 85% (conservatively) of my in hospital patients have diseases caused by what we eat. So yeah, what you eat definitely effects the taste of your piss.

i think this way too. The difference is, we're still guys and and most bottom guys seem to love to get fucked regardless of whether we have an orgasm, let alone an anal one. i was married (to a woman) for a long time. i was a virgin when i married, young, and didn't have a clue about a womans anatomy, g spot, clit or how to make a woman orgasm. i was pretty much just mindlessly fucking. A few weeks after i was newly married, my wife broke down in tears and accused me of not caring. i'd obviously given her orgasms, but not every time, but i was just lucky because i had no idea what i was doing. Her tears were a wake up call for me and from that day i began learning about how to make her cum and also training myself not to cum until she had. Turns out, as a sub bottom i was pretty good at giving pleasure lol, but there was definitely technique involved, and a fair amount of mind fuck too. Since divorcing and owning being a sub bottom, i've come to understand the position that many women are in, being dependent on their 'top' for orgasm, but i think it means something different to a guy than it does for a woman, even though we are both in similar boats.

Great topic. i've prolly had a few thousand cocks and i'd estimate about 97% have been anonymous, maybe 3% developed into fuck buddies? i too had a lot of success with CL, a lot more than any other hook up site. Sure, plenty of flakes there, but i got a ton of cum there. my CL hook ups were almost all exclusively anonymous breed and go though, my lying naked and ass up on my bed, door open, they come in and breed me and go. Being face down, i'd say i have never seen at least 3/4 of the guys who have bred me. my anonymous cock sucking experience is mostly in restrooms and Adult Stores through glory holes. More recently, i'm a little less enamored with glory holes, the primary reason being the wall is restrictive when trying to get all of a guys cock down my throat, plus, i love to cup and massage a guys balls while sucking Him, and that's not always doable through a gh. Most booths at Adult stores are pretty dark, so if it starts through a GH, ideally He'll want to come into my booth so i can get ever last millimeter of His cock.

Wow, fascinating thread, i need to wander out of the "general" forum more often. i too am deeply interested in the psychological side of sex. i'm sub bottom, but different from a lot of guys who identify as such (which is not to suggest one is better or worse, just different, part of the variety of life). i questioned my sub nature when when reading so many Dom and sub experiences and thoughts of others, until i started meeting Dom guys who i matched up with, guys who didn't want or fit with other types of subs, and began to realize the vast variety of D/s. i don't see myself as worthless at all. For me, a big part of the power exchange in a D/s dynamic is submitting my 'worth,' so to speak. i experience the power of a Dom when they elicit that desire and need within me to submit. i don't perceive meanness, force or bullying to be powerful at all. To me patience and self control are a demonstration of how much power a Dom has. Not only do meanness, bullying and force not evoke a submissive response, i've come close to decking a few guys who've tried it on me. i likely would have won if it had turned into a physical contest, i have a second degree black belt and some pent up rage against bullies lol. i got bullied a lot as a kid. i suspect now that was because some kids sensed my love for guys and my sub nature and took advantage of it, but neither they nor i had the sophistication at that age to employ grooming techniques. Though, looking back, my cousin was at the beginning of developing those kinds of Dom skills, and i still have dreams about Him to this day. For me, affectionate grooming is one of the most powerful things i have experienced in D/s relationship. i've written about my introduction to piss on a few threads on BZ, so i won't go into detail again here, but the Dom who introduced me to piss also turned me into a piss slut and His piss slut. Or maybe more accurately, He knew how to manipulate me and solidify that in me? To me, that is evidence of power and control. He didn't break me to get control, He groomed and manipulated what was there to control and mold me. We'd known each other and had been getting together for several months before He pissed in me after breeding me, but He had taken me through a process and by the time He pissed in me, He knew there was barely a speed bump left for me to become His piss slut (and He was right). It's a long intricate story. We got together about once a week for over a year before both of us had to move for various reasons. He had already made me His anal piss slut and was working on making me oral as well. We always talked, a lot, so He knew me well and i trusted Him. He knew that i was ambivalent about taking piss orally, i.e., i loved the idea of it, but was afraid of the actual taste of piss and how i might react. He never violated my boundaries, but He was expert at moving them to where He wanted them. i never experienced full on piss drinking with Him before moving, but He had started changing me. He had a lot of control over His own bladder and ability to piss, and to this day i'm not sure if this is accurate, but when i would be sucking Him and His cock was at the back of my throat, i think He was releasing small amounts of HIs piss at the back of my throat and into me. I'm not sure, because i never felt or tasted it in my mouth, or maybe some residual, but not enough to remove doubt. During and after, He also had that sparkle in His eye that He'd get when He had succeeded in Doming me.

knowing the little i do of you from reading your posts, i think you would really love it. A Mans piss really can be as powerful as His cum to me. Both are something His body makes and both processes of delivery can give Him pleasure. Being pissed on is pretty hot for the marking aspect of it. But to me, being pissed in is and internal marking that integrates Him into me. THe use of the word "impregnation" is accurate, not as in babies of course, but His piss is really something i absorb and it is evident that He has become a part of me when i urinate. To me, i'd love to have a Dom who always used me for His piss as a means of continuous marking/collaring. The psychological and physiological elements are very powerful to me.

The title of this thread got my attention because i have been stealth pissed a couple of times at an Adult Store while being bred through a glory hole. i'm practiced at retaining what a Top leaves in me, so on one of the occasions, i'm pretty sure i got fucked a couple of times after i was pissed in. my sigmoid curve seems particularly well suited for retention, which can make clean out a challenge, but works in my favor when being bred and pissed in because keeping what i get it pretty natural for me. i've encountered trash cans with piss in them, but have never been attracted to using it... which is maybe odd, because i will insert the cum from used condoms into my hole. In some ways, piss has more power to "impregnatate" than seman, so i value it as much. i can tell that i have absorbed a Tops piss because i can smell it when i urinate and realize that His piss has impregnated me and is mixed with my own and you just don't get the same evidence with cum (which is not to minimize cum, just to elevate piss). For some reason, i associate piss with the Man, so taking it from a trash can or urinal loses that connection for me. If i find it, it's sad and disappointing for me because it makes me wish i had been there to receive it from Him, but once its disconnected from Him, it's lost something for me. i guess it's the intent? i see piss and cum as a Tops way of leaving a part of Himself inside of me, of marking me... so if He doesn't do it, it's lost a big part of it's power for me? For me, finding it and using it feels to much like topping myself.

Yes, i am emotionally and erotically turned on by the idea. Honestly, It is a complex (and scary) topic for me though. You nail it for me when you say "penectomy" instead of castration. Most of the guys i know of seem intent on castration vs their penis. To me, the penis represents the male ability to penetrate and inseminate, which i associate with being Top or Dom. this stirs something deep inside me but when i think about it, keeping the testicles has a sense to it so as not to have to replace testosterone. To me, having the testosterone drive is part of me, i'm not a woman, so having the drive without having the Man ability to release it feels good to a part of me. The idea of having the penetrative ability gone makes me feel good if i associate it with a Man who wants me that way and wants to possess me. Also, i see myself as receptive to a Mans penetration and insemination (whether piss or cum), so i really like the extra hole he has, but honestly, making the asshole into a pussy makes more sense to me because then ii can retain and absorb what Man deposits, which wouldn't happen ties a pussy made from a penis. To me, if the testicles could be implanted, like ovaries, and hidden that would be ideal? Also, the idea of being able to cum from being penetrated fits for me because i love the idea of any orgasm or pleasure i have being dependent on my Top, especially from His penetrating me. To me, things like female castration that remove the ability to orgasm , don't make sense. To me, keeping that ability fully intact is idea, it's a question of controlling it. What appeals deeply to me is the idea of having a Top who controls both my orgasm and ability to orgasm, not removes it. A Top who redirects that drive and energy into my sub and bottom side.

absolutely. well, for me anyway. There's a few sides to it for me, one is minimizing my penis, i like a micro cage, it makes my penis look like a clit, and that turns me on. The second is keeping me from cumming keeps me horny and focused on my hole naturally, not all the hard to do since my primary sex organ is my hole, my penis is really a distraction that taken away keeps me horny or makes it so i am horny at the suggestion of a Top. For me, it's way more effective if a Top or Dom has put me in the cage and is in control, that adds a hole other dimension.

Depends. i'm sensitive to smells, so if a guy has bad breath, i'm dead in the water. That's actually true in general, i've had guys present their mouth at a glory hole and it smells like something died in there and wouldn't put my penis in that lol. Having said that, kissing is really intimate to me (and many others it would seem). Not unlike getting fucked, i can tell when a guy is connected (or not), to what He is doing. If it's mechanical, it does nothing. If it's forced, i close up. If He knows His power and is plying it knowingly, not over trying, expressing His passion and desire, my eyes will roll up in my head and i'll swoon. Fuck, i hate how girly that sounds, but fuck if it isn't true lol. And if i am on my stomach and a Top is fucking me and He kisses my shoulder, neck or ear, i will pretty much cream right then and there. i'll shudder and my pussy (and at that point it's a pussy) will contract and push into Him involuntarily.

i think you make some valid and important points here. While i may sort of understand how some may get to a place where they are turned on by gifting/chasing, to me it crosses a line into wrongness to give or seek disease. i have dedicated my life to saving sick and dying people and this deeply violates something in me personally, but socially i think infecting someone with a potentially deadly disease on purpose (especially without their knowledge), is socially criminal. Beyond that, there is the money aspect that Pozlover notes, which is absolutely a motivator when it comes to legislation. Then beyond that, so many forget, or are simply unaware of the extremist right and often (usually?) religious who want to find a reason to throw gay people in jail just because we're gay. Gifting/chasing could potentially lead to laws they can use to jail gays just because they hate gay people.

i'm a bottom and i'm sub, but not every Top, or even Dom connects with the sub part of me. D/s is simply not generic and it takes chemistry to connect. A bully Dom shuts me down at the very least, but they don't get any where near collaring me. But then, there are certain types of Dom's who see and know exactly how to Dom me, i suspect it has a lot to do with chemistry, and i have to literally bite my mattress or pillow to keep from declaring: "i love You." With those guys, there is no doubt, You are reading it right, that guy has definitely just made me His bitch and slipped His collar on me, it's an awesome, powerful thing.

For me, this was one of the bigger evidences for me in how we can really be 'wired' "bottom" or "sub"... which i suspect is akin to being more like a woman? i resist writing that because i don't see it as either or, black or white (i.e. Male or female). In my case, i am male with no desire to be female, but i suspect that my bottom, sub nature is a female component of my being a male that makes me different than a heterosexual, or a Dom or Top gay guy. i knew how to give her pleasure or make her cum just like a bottom or sub knows how to give another bottom or sub pleasure because he can relate. What eventually frustrated her was she too could instinctively sense that i was sub, bottom, that i was like her vs being her opposite, chemistry match that would naturally attract and bond. After divorcing and learning to accept and experience my own nature, i really cam to understand her position. It's different, because i still have maleness that she didn't have. For insrtance, a female Dom with a strap on might work a little better, but still wouldn't work with me. There are things a Man has that are a match to my needs and, apparently, vice versa. pretty damned awesome.

This has become a great discussion to me on several different levels. i'm continually fascinated by our various wiring and the terms that we've come up with to try and explain what we think and feel, who we are. Anal orgasms aline with my nature (or vice versa?). i love the idea of being dependent on my Top for pleasure, the dynamic of control. And i get it intimately. i was married to a woman for 31 years. i learned early on how to give her multiple orgasms and manipulate her pussy and clit, because by nature i was very much like her. Despite all the pleasure, she actually would get frustrated with me because i was so focused on her pleasure and not my own. But i'm sub bottom and my "pleasure" was derived the same way her's was.. by being there as a receptacle for a Mans pleasure. It's a little strange and humiliating to me (in that good, erotic way) that i can identify and relate to a woman in this, the deep desire for this kind of relationship with a man.