LetsPOZBreed

Personally, I think you are experiencing a bit of both. There's a sense amongst some of us that we want something different, and have somewhat found a new brotherhood of cohorts (though I'm still on the lookout for my regular playmates). So, yes, you've entered a new phase, but so have some of us along side you.

I'll agree to this point. A big part of my current attitudes are because I've really sampled the buffet over the last quarter-century. I've done the boyfriend thing, hookup thing, fuckbuddy thing, group thing, anon thing, and so forth. My vision of what I want is formulated upon what I know my more memorable encounters of the past all have in common - that connection; that organic beauty of building lust. So, I won't expect younger guys than me to maybe understand. In fact, I'd openly encourage younger guys to experiment as much as possible, as this is what got me to where I am at my age. To your last point, though, this is a good one to raise. I came of gay-age in the mid-90's, and there was a noticeable gap of gay men that were in their 40's on upwards. Not a completely empty void, of course, but it did mean that it was touch to find those role models for me as well. Not impossible, though, as I enjoyed the fruits of "older men" (which at 18 was any guy in this 30's) and realised just how much I enjoyed those experiences - great sex, yes, but also an appreciation for their experience and someone to look up to. Really wish there were more of them.

Thanks for the reply....I wouldn't go so far as to say that sex doesn't excite me anymore...far from it; I just get excited by connection more.

So, I need to talk about this in a safe space. I wonder if others of you have started to feel this way recently, and are willing to share your thoughts. (Even if you don't feel this way, I'd love to hear from your as well!) So, since all the COVID and MPX nonsense of the last few years, I'd become very skittish around the idea of just hooking up indiscriminately like I used to. Felt like no one was really worth the risk of either of those diseases - yes, I know that sounds somewhat disingenuous from someone who is HIV+ and an avowed member of the "raw is law" crowd. Initially, I thought after all of the lockdowns were behind us in a few weeks or months, I'd be back in the saddles (or slings) and back to my old cum-loving self... But things didn't really spring back to normal, and we weren't really able to (safely) meet up for this type of stuff for longer than expected. I'll admit that I wound up getting a far bigger porn addiction than anything I'd had previously...it was really my main sexual outlet, outside of the posts and reads on here. Turns out to not be the healthiest addiction out there, and has been a hard one to kick. Over time, though, a funny thing happened... After a while, I found myself spending way too much time on the various tube sites (before some were shut down, or had their content massively purged). As time went on, I found my interests devolving more and more into the more intense aspects of sex and kink videos....got really into watching spanking/CP vids, "home intruder" role plays, etc. My own personal thoughts shifting toward those as well....but unfortunately not being in any position to act on any of this. Eventually, though, things started to shift to a sense of normality...and I managed to indulge in some man-to-man action on occasion. It was, well... ...mediocre, to say the least. Without going into too many specifics, I had a mix of top encounters and bottom ones. Nothing particularly bad; just "meh..." Not to say that the guys were of poor quality; I just felt like I wasn't able to really connect and get into the moment as easily as I used to. I did the first thing many of us would do in those situations and immediately thought that it was something wrong with me. I wasn't good enough, my body wasn't good enough, my technique was no longer good enough - all of those negative emotions that come far too easily. After a few lacklustre experiences, I threw in the towel. I decided against meeting up for any play for a few months until I was able to get into a better mental space. That turned out to be a Pandora's box of emotions, though. All of that negativity came washing back, and created this constant feedback loop that didn't serve to make me feel any better about myself. Eventually, though, that started to turn. While, yes, I do still have those remnants of negativity swashing around my brain, a funny thing happened. I realised that all the time away from mindless action made me think about what it really is that I wanted from my sexual encounters....a deep connection. I'm not saying that I have to fall in love with the man on top of me (or beneath me), but have that kind of intimate, non-verbal desire that is present from that initial moment and building all the way through to the intense climax. Nowadays, when a guy messages me to tell me how many loads he has and if I want to contribute more - I just don't engage. Same goes for guys messaging me to bottom for them, but demand I be blindfolded and pre-loaded - just not my thing any longer. If it's not eye-to-eye, mouth-to-mouth, body-to-body action, it just doesn't stir any desire within me. As a result, the volume of responses I get on the various sites and apps has dropped considerably. While that may sound disheartening, it doesn't really bother me much in reality. Basically, I'd rather wait for a good experience, rather than just the next one. So, yeah...I feel that the seeming trend of cumdumping, gangbanging, and H-n-H sessions just isn't my scene and that I've become a bit of a minority among the bareback brotherhood. There are times where I wonder if I'm alone in this, though I know that's likely not the case. Looking forward to hearing others thoughts and stories here. Bit of a long post from me, but I know through my years on this community that this has been a safe space for me to talk about these sorts of things.

Tends to be more dependent on the top, rather than anything I'm doing...though I'm sure i do contribute in some way. My motto is "you can last 2 minutes or 2 hours....just keep me interested". Though as of recent, my hole is quite tight due to a lack of action (mostly voluntarily). So I'm sure the next lucky man won't be able to last that long inside me. 😄

Both of these nail it. I want my sounds to come naturally; if I'm getting railed good, I just moan like crazy - not because I want to, but it's my body's natural reaction to a good pounding. It's basically reflexive; I'm not really "trying" to do it, it just happens. So, if I'm going from that to more structured verbal play, I need to be guided...I need someone to respond to in kind. Otherwise, it just comes across as just doing what I want and taking control of my top, which is certainly not in my nature. On the flip side of that, I want my top to make me desire him...if a guy just goes straight into dirty talk without any build-up, then it is off-putting to me. I want to earn that level of connection, and going straight into it just seems like jumping the gun.

I let the top dictate whether or not verbal is okay...I won't start it off for sure; find that it does put some guys off. Verbal is one of those things that's very tenuous...say one wrong thing, and it just kills the whole mood; I'd say it's better to not get into that until the session reaches a certain level of intensity first. I also don't like to do (or say) anything to put my top under any pressure to "perform". In my younger days, if I was begging for my tops load before it was obvious he was close, I'd notice that suddenly it's the one thing they think about...any top can tell you that thinking too much about cumming is one of the easiest ways to not cum. Been a while since I've been to the sauna, but when I would go regularly, if I'd see my top thinking too much about it, I actually encourage him to relax and say how good the fuck is - take his mind off of it, and just let him enjoy the ride.

I get your dilemma. I'm poz (UD), but love poz verbal still. I've had instances with other poz guys where the verbal just happens...we just really connected, and the verbal just managed to gear itself toward that. I've also had instances where I've talked to guys online ahead of a hookup about doing poz verbal during our play....it happened, of course, but the actual results varied (some good, one INCREDIBLE, but a couple "meh" ones, too). I also made the mistake of playing with a poz guy where we didn't broach the topic of verbal play...in the middle of him fucking me (decently, but wouldn't say fantastically), I made a comment about poz cum and it just killed his mood entirely. It was a shame, but to be fair I should have not done anything like that without gauging his level of interest in it. If you want to do poz verbal during play, then best advice is to be upfront about it. The poz guys not into it will pass you by, but saves you the disppointment of saying it mid-fuck and ruining the experience. The guys into it (and there are more than you might think) will certainly come knocking, though. Just know that poz verbal is not necessarily pozzing play...also be upfront about the fact that you're into the verbal, but not the actual act of converting yourself (unless you're an actual chaser - no judgement here, but just be clear about your expectations).

As the main pic? I'd have to agree here in that it's odd to have it as the main photo....the advertising should focus on the part intended to be used (literally and figuratively). But I've also had tops who enjoy sucking me off after he's done fucking me - kind of he fills my ass, so I should fill his mouth. It's fortunate for those men that I totally love that (and love it even more if they snog my load with me after I'm done shooting - but I digress) I do have a picture of my cock on my profiles, but it's by no means my main photo - usually, it's one of my locked photos on top of thatt....reminds me that I need to check on that real quick.

Gotta love my home state....it's all pearl-clutching in their Sunday best until the state's [usually empty] coffers start getting flooded.

Personal experience, any time a guy has asked me if I'm into "chem sex", they aren't talking about pot in 100% of those cases (though, I'm only one person and probably not a representative sample size). Even guys I know who are into using pot wouldn't class it as such either, so I'm leaning toward it being a different category of it's own. [sidebar: I'm not into it either - not a bad experience, per se, just felt that it didn't do anything for me at all - sexually or otherwise. I guess not being a smoker of even cigarettes, the thought of doing anything along those lines just doesn't get me going.]

I haven't done it since before COVID, but have started thinking about this more lately. It's always been the kind of thing that I need to really be in the mood for...not one of those who constantly thinks about piss play, but when the feeling is there, it's quite strong. But yeah, from the tap is prob one of my favourite ways of doing it. I tell guys that it's less about the taste of piss (which I never thought was that great), and more about the bonding of looking into each other's eyes as the recipient gets his mouth flooded.

I like smelling a guy's fresh musk...so, if he's been at the gym sweating or something like that, I'm all about burying my face in his armpits or around the crevices around his balls. Also, like sniffing a guy's briefs/trunks around the spot where his balls are, or would be. Guess it comes from when I was a teen in high school and the weight room had a distinct smell of mildly stale sweat...ever since then, that kind of thing has been a bit of a weird turn-on for me. Now, that being said, there's a line to cross. There's "musk", which I describe above, then just flat out bad BO that I find unacceptable. There's a limit to what my nose will tolerate.

I lived in Dallas from 2006-2014...it was a bit hit-or-miss, IMHO. If you got in with a good crowd, you could get some regular action going, though. Not quite sure how it is since I've left, but I know Midtown Spa is closed for good - that was the one that had more sex happening; always found Club Dallas to be more twink/tweaker.

That can work if there's enough guys to chat up...at least ones willing to entertain starting something. But speaking from personal experience, it doesn't always work...but worth a shot nonetheless.

The naked nights tended to have bigger crowds. Monday night used to be my favourite.

There's a bit of a sunk-cost fallacy involved here. Depending on how much you paid to enter the venue - whether cover charge, locker fee, or even a room rental - you want to feel as if you've gotten your money's worth. If things are a bit dead for the first 30 min to an hour, you want to believe that things will pick up; alternatively, you might get the sneaking feeling that things will pick up right after you decide to abandon the night and head home. But if it's a place you've been to with some sort of regularity, you can surely gauge what constitutes a "good" night and crowd versus one that isn't. If it's a place you're unfamiliar with, then you might have just picked the wrong time, so best to give it some leeway. Either situations, I'd say 2 hours max...just in case; even if things might pick up thereafter, you've prob become too sexually frustrated for it to really matter.

They're less "toys" and more along the lines of gear, but here it goes... I'm getting more into bondage play, so I got a good pair of leather wrist restraints that have a metal hook that you can use to join them together. My other one, and I haven't had the chance to use this, is the bar with four bands...one for each wrist and ankle. The idea that the top can restrain me fully and just grab onto the bar and go to town.

I know I've already answered earlier in the thread, but I have another favourite point to mention: I call it "riding the wave" This is the point during sex where you've gotten past the initial insertion/penetraion, and aren't at the point of my top's load starting to make it's way through the necessary plumbing to ejaculate. It's where both of us are just enjoying the feeling of one another - the noises are natural, the pacing just flows (and can speed up and slow down as necessary). It's this part of sex that makes the sense of impending ejaculation all the more rewarding. What's been putting me off of some hook-ups and group parties lately is this almost-extreme focus on the top's orgasm. I mean, let's not get it twisted - I love getting bred just as much as everyone else here - but I want my top to know that I'm interested in ALL he has to offer me, and his cum is just the icing on the cake, pun intended. This notion of me wanting his load after he's barely given a scant number of thrusts can put my fucker under this pressure to perform - and that overthinking it actually means I DON'T get bred in the end, or the top has to pull out to wank his load out versus letting it happen the natural way. Honestly, if my top guy knows how to fuck me well, I couldn't care less whether he lasts 2 minutes or 2 hours; I want BOTH of us to feel like we've gotten what we wanted out of the session afterwards.

I like showing off because it shows the other potential partners there what they'll be in for when it's his turn. If other top or vers guys see how much I enjoy getting fucked (when I'm getting it done well) and how attentive I am toward my top during play, then I find they're more likely to take a turn when I'm available Back when I used to top more, I would also pay attention to bottom guys who are getting fucked in full view. Basically, if I didn't get into the mood while watching them, then I wouldn't take a turn myself. That being said, when I'm occupied and ingrained in my top...do NOT interject. Guys who try to take liberties and interject themselves into my play are surefire not going to be let inside me when the time comes.

I've been curious about it, on both sides. Comes from things guys have said to me over the years about the way I fuck or get fucked. Would love to know how it feels to fuck me or be fucked by me. I've been told off and on over the years by bottoms that they can usually feel me cumming inside them...so part of me wants to experience that. I've also had some top guys comment on how my face seems to light up when I get the sense that they are close.

I'm only half into it...in the sense that I love the actual act of fucking with the verbal (whether I'm getting knocked up willingly or unwillingly). But I wouldn't go the full nine yards after the actual sex is done.

All due respect, if you're wanting to "make sure ppl are negative" you're prob not in this for the right reasons. At a minimum, take @BadInBrooklyn's advice and get on PrEP; otherwise, just let this be a fantasy you wank to.

Only once did I have a guy overfill my mouth...hyperspermia type thing. He came like he was pissing, as each jet empties out like a stream. It would have been one thing had he warned me ahead of time, but he did not, so it took me by surprise and I couldn't do anything but gag on it. I mean, had I been able to properly prepare myself, I'd have tried to gulp it down as it was flowing - not what I usually do which is let it gather in my mouth before I drink it like a shot.

I've been into tasting and swallowing a guy's cum ever since the first blowjob I gave. That first time, it was purely down to curiosity...I wanted to know what it tasted like, then figured swallowing was the only real option after that. My practice when getting my mouth filled is to let my guy shoot his whole orgasm in my mouth to fill it up...I don't gulp or anything while he's squirting. Then after it's all there, I drink it like a shot. I've had a couple of ex partners ask me about why I like it (neither of them were particularly into tasting cum). My response is that personally, it's not about the taste at all (though I have been known to spit out cum that tastes downright rancid). As much as I love cum in my mouth, I don't think it tastes particularly *great*; though, there has been the rare occasion of some delicious semen in the past. It's more the thought that I brought a guy to that point, and I owe it to him to have a piece of him in my body.