LetsPOZBreed

Granted, I realise this post is a bit odd, but want to clarify this one. What happened to you was rape, plain and simple. The fact that you went over for sex doesn't negate the fact that you were penetrated without your consent - the understanding is that you would top, and prepared yourself accordingly. You said "no", and violating that is violating your consent; textbook definition here.

Wasn't my first time, but actually my second. I'm not exclusively into black men - enjoy all races - but it was a fun experience. Honestly, I've found it isn't a determining factor in the quality of the sex. I've had great, bad, and mediocre experiences with guys of any race (including mixed guys). It's not about that; it's never about that. Just like anyting else, it's all about how the partners connect in the moment.

Couple of questions from me: - How many times have you and your b/f had threesomes (or moresomes)? Would this be the first one? If so, this gets a little tricky to navigate. Before even contemplating anything with this guy, you and your partner need to lay down the ground rules about what is and is off limits during mutual play - not just condom/raw (though that should def be a part of that discussion), but also about any specific acts that might be off limits; things such as do you kiss on the mouth? Some couples find this part to be very intimate and reserve it between themselves. As with any other sexual act, it's important to check in with your own partner about what they are willing to consent to in this situation - and THEN you can contemplate how you can approach a threesome with this guy or any other. - As alluded to in an earlier post, I've been in threes with couples where it was very clear that one of them was more into it than another. For me, that made things a little uncomfortable - I liked both of them, and went out of my way to give them equal attention during play. But at the end of the day, once the sex was over, they are still a couple. If you have any unresolved issues with your partner, your third will notice - and it will make him uncomfortable. - If you find your guy is interested in the idea of a threeway with you, I'd still check his level of interest in both of you. Again, you don't want a mismatch where he's into one of you significantly more than the other. Can lead to hurt feelings that the two of you will be living with once your shag is in the bag.

I got my first jab this morning. I think the supplies in the UK still aren't really where they need to be, so most places don't do "walk-in's". I got a push notification from my HIV clinic on Monday saying that they had some slots to book, and I snapped one up. Very quick and painless; they didn't ask me any questions around my sexual activity (which has been non-existent for about 7 or 8 months - so I'm surprised I even got an invite in the first place). Second dose should be in 28 days (assuming availability of supplies). Just want to get it done and dusted.

If I may ask: are you finding it difficult in general (from both tops and bottoms alike)? I'd say most bottoms are more into taking piss than giving - I've had other bottoms outright refuse to let me go anywhere near their cocks, even at S.O.P....they'd rather piss on themselves than in my mouth. But if I find a top guy into W/S play, then I rarely encounter an issue with them wanting to give me theirs.

You're not in a funk, really. I think you've just come to the realisation some of us others have come to. Do I still want to feel a guy unleash his warm seed balls-deep inside me? Abso-fucking-lutely! But, I'm not really interested in some stranger doing it. I want a guy where there's a bit of passion shared between us, and the sex is more than just a pump-and-dump scene. The load is the end result, but not the sole reason we're fucking. Personally, I've had only 5 hookups since the pandemic started. Didn't really enjoy a single one of them, to be honest. Wasn't much of a connection in any of them, so the end result was rather disappointing. And when it comes to the "laziness", I don't think that's totally accurate either. For those of us that bottom, we need to prepare ourselves ahead of a session...I've got no interest in doing that for a random fuck of indeterminate quality. This was true even before monkeypox came along as well, but that only added more reason for me to hold off on meeting for any random play. I just don't think any of it is worth it (for me, that is - every guy has his own feelings, all of which are perfectly valid).

As mentioned by some other posters, negotiation can be used for more than just BDSM play. My thoughts is that if a guy isn't willing to negotiate and discuss boundaries, then he's not worth my time. Personal preference, but I don't really do kink or rough play on a first encounter. Those things require a deeper connection that has to be built. Even if I chat with a guy on Recon, I'm upfront about this point. If any sort of kink, fetish, or rough play is in the cards - I make it a point to outline my limits, ask him to outline his, and communicate a safe word AND safe signal. Once he arrives at mine (or me at his), the agreement is that the safe word will be repeated and the safe signal be demonstrated before action begins to make sure it's clear what they are. I also take copious screen shots of conversations (just in case I delete something by accident) so I can refer back to them later. I'd recommend any partner do the same.

It's the addage of theory vs. practice. In theory, a polite reply is warranted; something as simple as a "no thanks". This theory presumes the receipient will take it with the grain of salt intended and just move on. In practice, (and I'm not condoning this), the polite reply begets the "why", or some other form of trying to convince the sender of the err of his ways. Some guys have been so burned by this that they have resorted to just not responding or blocking. Another (poor) excuse from the good ol' days of Manhunt and other websites is that non-paying members are limited to a certain number of messages a day...if a guy isn't interested and he has limited replies, the idea is by ignoring it, I've saved a message for someone that might interest him.

I have quite a few, as well as ass-less briefs. Different brands and colours across the board, but my personal faves are the classics. I have two BIKE one's that I've had for quite some time; one black, one white. Nothing beats the original....

You and I are cut from the same cloth, my friend. This is exactly where I feel post-COVID as well. I just don't get anything out of anon play anymore.

No, I don't. Even back when I was more into getting fucked as a cumdump, I would only admit to having loads in me already when it was a true statement. And if a guy didn't ask if I was preloaded, and I was, I would volunteer the info. Had it happen where I said nothing, and the guy got real put off once he entered me and could tell there was cum already in there. Flip side, yeah, I get that you get guys who ask how many loads...and then insist you get more before they meet you; I find these guys are lost causes, and I disengaged. Nowdays, I'd rather find one guy to fill me up and hope he can go for more than one round. No guy has a problem with a pre-loaded hole when that load is his 🙂

He should definitely be honest and upfront...if his prospects have an issue with that, then it's better they didn't play at all. As far as the Oraquick, I suggest he does take one at some stage - hopefully sooner, rather than later. It's better to know and start treatment now, rather than let it fester and negatively impact other health aspects.

I don't agree with the question either. It's not about the colour of the cock; it's the guy attached to it. I've had white guys who are amazing and others who are terrible; I've had black guys who are amazing and others who are terrible. I've had really hung white guys, and others who are not; I've had really hung black guys, and others who are not. I don't sort my preferences by race like that.

Not at all. I've encountered these guys before as well. If said guy is a top, then it's difficult for me...I don't like to go through all the preparation for bottoming unless I know I'm getting fucked in advance (or if I'm heading to the cruise spots).

Depends on the app for me, as far as what mine is. I'm this name on here and on BBRT for obvious reasons. It gets to the point, gives an idea of what I like and am into. Although, it does tend to attract the jerk-bait guys who are only interested in talking with me about it vs. doing anything with it (I can usually pick up on these guys quicky, and disengage accordingly). On the flip side, it also brings out guys who are into the poz verbal fetish, but are also into some pretty heavy stuff (i.e. excessive drug use, deliberate sharing of other "bugs" other than HIV). I've contemplated changing it again...have had a few different ones on BBRT over the years, depending on my mood. For other sites, I change it up and not be THAT upfront. On Recon, for example, I'm IntimateKinkster...recognising that it is a fetish site (and I do enjoy fetish play), but also upfront about needing a pre-existing connection before getting into that stuff...usually. As far as what I look for in others, I just want it to grab my attention...give a good idea of what you might be into (HONESTLY, of course....don't put "vers" in your name if you're not actually vers). But I'm prob in the minority in that I do actually read profiles when I click/swipe/whatever on them. At that point, the screen name is less important than you being somewhat interesting and open about sharing what exactly you want out of the site or app.

Need to come up with an interesting name for this one, but here goes mine: At sex clubs and cruise spots, I'm exclusively a bottom. I wear a jockstrap or ass-less briefs to expose the part of me that I want exposed. But the sheer number of times I've had other bottoms walk over and try to whip my cock out of that jock or briefs is alarming. I appreciate the attention, yes, but I'm not interested in being forced to perform an act that I'm not interested in performing. These same guys will instantly become a "handcuffer" when a top comes over to play with me.

Personally, it's situational. If I don't know you that well sexually, stick to ass/butt. I allow more from a guy as I get to know him better and we develop a "vibe". For me, pussy is not a term I prefer, but feel it has a time and place...however rare. Besides, even an acceptable word can be a put-off when used in the wrong moment. It's an exercise in getting a read on the vibe before just blurting anything out. If you'd feel awkward saying it, it's probably going to be awkward for me to hear it.

It did take a few years after the first TIM vids for the rest of the gay porn industry to catch up. As mentioned above, TIM was ground-breaking (the fact that they unashamedly went bareback when other big studios stopped in the mid-1980's). TIM saw an opportunity, though...When I used to rent my VHS (yes, I'm really that old) starting back in the mid-90's, there was always a small section of "pre-condom" videos from the 70's/early 80's that would still get checked out with regularity. By that point, condomless seemed "forbidden" in gay porn, so it gave the viewers something that was drilled into our heads as being "bad" (either watching or participating). The mainstream gay porn studios didn't exactly jump on board initially...certainly not to the level they eventually did. It was still considered too "controversial" to release new bareback material. It was only after TIM had a couple of early block-busters (ball-busters??)...namely the big Dawson flicks of around 2003/2004-ish. Dawson's 20 Load Weekend (and it's 50 load sequel) changed gay porn...even gay hook-up culture and attitudes toward barebacking. It also shifted the economics of the gay porn industry: you had pent-up demand for a style of porn that largely hadn't been made for over a decade, and certainly wasn't made in this unashamed way. So, yeah...TIM was definitely at the forefront. It wasn't overproduced back then, and it was all about the sex. No pseudo "plotlines", no cheesy porn background music, etc. But once they had a few blockbusters under their proverbial jockstrap, the imitators weren't far behind. Other bareback studios followed suit (SX video, HDK, among others) and the mainstream studios (Falcon, etc.) eventually capitulated as well. Once the industry was dragged along, TIM then has to find it's new "niche"; though, they were already "out there" as it was, and I don't suspect anything more controversial would even be legal to make. But now TIM is now finding itself in competition with amateurs and free-agents (i.e. OF/JFF). The long 60-90 minute videos aren't really made as often because most porn-watchers attention spans aren't interested in focusing on a video for that long. Plus, I find that the obviously wired participants (see another thread about this) in many TIM vids to be a bit of a put-off. TIM had it's day in the sun...there are a few scenes that I'll go back and watch online, but I've kind of moved on...as have many others. I definitely get the impact it had on porn, hookup culture, and sex in general - but don't really see how it adapts itself from here to get back to the top of relevancy.

It's just like the announcements on the London Underground during rush hour: Please move right down inside the carriage to allow others to board.

Also, had this exchange on BBRT the other week: (guy with vers as his profile position): Hot pics and profile. Sounds like a lot of fun. (me): Thanks, I'd gladly let you have your way with me 🙂 (guy with vers as his profile position): I just wish you were more versatile, though. (me): all the true bottoms say that And then I got blocked... 😄

In a proper darkroom (i.e. no sight at all), then my rules would be: - It's fine to cop a feel, but this is not the place to expect every guy to be perfectly chiseled. Part of the appeal is that you can't see who's actually fucking you (or who you're fucking), and you're dependent on your other senses. It's liberating to just let yourself go, and take what's on offer. - On the perpetual foreplay thing, you're right...if you're foreplaying to get yourself hard, or get me loose, fine. But if your erection isn't coming along, then it's time to move on. - Don't "interject". If the guy you're feeling up is in the throws of thrusting inside a bottom already, don't put your hand in between to get him to move off to you. If it's "semi-dark", then I'd say the same points above, but add: - This is not the place to live out your modelling fantasy. Leave the space for those of us intending to make full use of it.

As far as continuing to bottom after I've cum...only if you give me a little time to recouperate. In the immediate aftermath, I'm definitely tight again; it'll hurt to try and put a dick back inside me. Unless you can stay hard inside as I'm cumming...at which point, I tighten up to your cock. But you'll need to go back to gentle strokes initially. When I top, I've become a one-and-done guy as I've gotten older. Now that I'm in my 40's, I can't cum multiple times anymore...but the one orgasm is now much more intense.

For me, my preference has shifted more toward bottoming as I've gotten older. But I will top a guy if I get the urge to do so. For me, my frequency of wanting to top has less to do with getting an erection...it's more about feeling desired. I want to feel wanted as a top...by that meaning that I enjoy bottoms who treat me as more than a means to an end. Kiss me, suck me, play with my body, etc...make my cock ache to be inside you. If you're just on the bed ass-up in a jock,..that's ok (if you've got a hot ass), but it doesn't really stir me anymore. I like the build-up just as much as the act itself...lacking that, I have no desire to waste my load on a guy who doesn't appreciate the guy it coming from.

It depends on what I want out of the sex. If all I'm after is to top and drop my load, I'm fine with this...but these instances are rather rare. If I'm feeling more on the vers mood where I want a bit of both, then I'll prob steer clear.

I can't "fake moan" like you sometimes see in porn. I just prefer to let my body naturally react to the man on top of me. Sometimes, that means I make more noise than usual...but that's a good thing for my top. Dick size plays a factor, but it's also in how he uses it inside me. And moaning when I'm getting bred is totally different. There's just a natural change in my intonation when I know I'm getting knocked up.