tallslenderguy

Here's a pic of how i want to be seen and one of how i am.

What Luxbrit said. There are so many factors involved in getting fucked and seeded, but i think a primary consideration is numbers. The busier the venue, the more Tops looking for a bottom there will be... but then, the more bottoms there will be as well. if you are going to a sauna, there's the visual factor to consider. If you fit the general idea of "hot," you stand a better chance of getting fucked than if you are generally average. And really, that's a weak criteria. i'm tall and slender and try to stay fit. i'm on one site and keep running into Tops Who want a bottom with "a big belly." Beauty is not a universal standard, eh? i've gotten most of my loads in an ABS type setting or a cruise place with booths and glory holes. In that setting, you remove the visual factor and sex gets narrowed down to cocks and holes. Also, i find time of day at one of these places is a big factor. Lunch break or end of day when Men are getting off work and looking for a quick release.

i used to get together with a married couple, two Top Men. One loved to get His cock sucked, the Other loved to fuck. They loved to use one bottom together, and there was no competition. We each got what we wanted/needed. i'm not interested in sex with a man who doesn't want me as much as i want him, It's probably my only criteria for sex. i do not equate bottom with inferior or Top with superior. To me those are expressions of opposite energy that naturally attract, like positively and negatively charged ions attract. i do not see it as a matter of value, i think both can be of equal value. For me, sex is about symbiotic connection of mutual need/desire. i hate the catty attitude and energy of a bottom guy trying to compete or take cock from another bottom. It feels petty and cheap to me. If a top guy wants to make two bottoms compete for him, that comes off as inadequate and decidedly unsexy to me. In either case, i'll walk away, i am not engaged by that. In a group venue like a sex club, i get that some Tops want to rut before they release/orgasm and breed. Sure, i want Their orgasm and seed inside of me, but i also understand that i may just be one of many getting fucked before He wants to cum and call it a night. i know that going in and am grateful for the fuck and am happy if i get to be part of His pleasure.

i think this is an example of one of the top dividing factors in society in general. i think egocentricity breeds and births all manor of ethnocentricity. i see it as a question of immaturity. We hear/read stories of a person going to another country and discovering a whole new collection/culture of people who are different. Sad to me how there are still cultures that try to force their views on others, even going so far as to authorize their behavior by insisting 'God' is behind it! i'm a part of a couple of BDSM discussion forums and it is a common topic of discussion how key communication is to any connection or ongoing relationship. Our labels are just a starting point in a conversation, but how often to we ask what it means to the other person? To me, such presumption stems from egocentricity born of immaturity, and the gay community is just as fraught with it as any other culture. i think a lot (if not most?) of presumption flies under the radar, that we are often not conscious that we do it.

Not boring, but not unusual either. This is a desire that's been written about by lots of guys on BZ. my general feel is that, no matter where we land on the sexual spectrum (i.e., Top, bottom, versatile or anywhere between those), we are all fueled by testosterone. We are raised in heteronormative culture that mostly teaches male and female, attributing behaviors to both. But life isn't like that, there aren't just two standard types, there is infinite variety and innumerable categories. Top, bottom or in between, guys seem driven to breed. Those of us who are seemingly wired with our testosterone to our holes instead of our penis, seem to have the same intense need to be bred as Tops do to breed. i remember one day as a kid hearing a commotion outside. When i looked, there were about 10 Male dogs going after one bitch. The bitch was in heat and the Male dogs were all in a frenzy waiting Their turn to breed her. She took Them all, presenting to the next after One would mount and breed her. It took awhile. Also the first time i ever witnessed two dogs being bound together by a knot. Even as a kid, my feelings watching were i was envious of the bitch and imagined myself in her position. No one taught me that desire, and it was way before the days of the internet porn. i can trace my bottom desires/needs as far back as age 7. As far as i can remember, i have always been this way. Took me a long time to get past the conditioning that as a male i should use my penis to penetrate, fuck and breed females, but life and reality finally got through to me and i accept and am happy to be me. i did go through a time when i was still married to a woman and not only trying to be top, but trying to be straight. i had a lot of this kind of abduction fantasies at that time. For me, i think it was a way of trying to come to terms with being both gay and very bottom. Now, i don't really have that fantasy anymore. i do have an ongoing fantasy of a FB, an intimate ongoing connection where He knows He can have me whenever He wants, but it's a fantasy of connecting mutual desire/need. For me it involves being penetrated while i'm asleep. For me, i think, that represents full submission that He knows that even when i am not conscious, i still want Him. For me, it's an expression of extreme mutual desire/lust... and possessing. i wake up to the feel of Him pressing His cock into me to fuck and cum, or to piss, as He whispers in my ear: "take My Cock, I know you need it." Different and missing for me is the need/desire to be forced, or have the appearance of force. i no longer have any psychological barriers to being penetrated, fucked and bred by a Man. i need/want that and freely give it, my only criteria now is that He wants/needs that too.

Enjoying others observations and thoughts on this. For me, it's more of a recent observation, and not universally so. I.e., i don't find cum always smells like piss. Like others have observed, it can vary. Just something i have been aware of the last couple of years? Odd too, 'ammonia' is not an appetizing scent to me, not something i'd be inclined to ingest, but a Mans Cum? i even hesitate to finger myself after being inseminated for concerns of losing one drop of His precious Self from inside of me. i've had enough piss inside of me, and it's different, consistency as well as scent, though i can imagine a mix. The idea of a little piss being added, inadvertently or purposely, is really hot to me. To me, a Mans piss is a second form of seed. Also, cum does not have the same scent to me as a cocksucker. If i don't happen to get all of His cum down my throat, and it ends up on my face, i've never detected the same piss scent when sucking (and i have received both a Mans cum and piss in my mouth). Either way, i love what comes out of a Mans Cock in all its forms, flavors and scents. Life gives us so many gifts and ways to connect and bond, scent included.

Several months ago a FB videoed while fucking me, when i watched it i was surprised by all the sounds coming out of me. i typically hold back when it comes to saying stuff i'm thinking, like declaring my undying love lol. i've had to bite my mattress before to keep from blurting "i love You to a complete stranger," so not really verbal here but i moan and gasp a lot more than i am usually conscious of.

i did think of that, just thought it was wishful thinking on my part. i've actually invited Him to do so before, but He didn't seem interested so i let it drop... it's possible of course, but my impression is it's just the scent of cum and i've noticed it from other guys as well, seems pretty consistent to me. i think it's kind of hot and a little curious. Your info about the ammonia may be what i am smelling, i didn't realize that.

i'm always a little surprised when i finger my hole after it's been loaded and smell the cum and it smells like piss? i guess i shouldn't be surprised, given it come through the same tube as piss does, but i find even when it has been inside of my hole for hours, or even over night, it still has a distinct piss odor to it? Not exactly like pure piss, but like it's scented with it? It seems different when i am sucking cock. i purposely will rub my face in all over His Cock, Balls, thighs, crotch, while i am sucking His, getting His precum on my face as well so i have His scent and pheromones marking me. Fuck, just breathing and smelling that for hours after i have sucked Him off, is heaven. But that does not smell like piss to me, it's different, a scent all it's own. Also, i can smell sex on myself or another person, and it doesn't smell like piss (unless it is lol). So, i wonder about this? Anyone else this way, or is it just me that smells piss in cum?

As i see it, "hot and horny" is a normal part of a guys wiring. i think if we compare ourselves to 'the norm' (i.e., heteronormative cultural conditioning), we would almost all be cumdumps, cumdumpers or somewhere in between on the spectrum. Restraining, sublimating, repressing, suppressing those desires/needs, doesn't make them magically disappear, eh? i think a lot of our feelings and terms are reactions to or against a culture and conditioning that has said we should be a certain way, when we are not. Then we find a place like BZ and some start opening up and honestly sharing who and how they really are, and we discover we are not all that unique or alone. i think one of the big challenges is seeing and overcoming the conditioning we all have against who and how we are. i don't see being a 'cumdump' (or cumdumper) as a "purpose" we choose, but rather just who and how we are. i do not see sex it as "practicing" (though we prolly can get better with practice lol?) but exercising our needs and desires vs trying to keep them under wraps. (any?) Guy goes into a restroom to take a piss. Gay guys have pushed against cultural restraints and taken over some restrooms and are exercising their desires and needs to connect sexually in those restrooms. So, this same Guy can walk into this restroom and not only take a piss, but can suck a cock, get sucked, fuck, get fucked. They can get their piss drank instead of using a porcelain urinal, or they can hold a Mans cock in their mouth and receive His piss. Instead of just relieving their self in isolation, they can connect to another human being and exercise their natural desires/needs instead of keeping them secret and/or tied up. The possibilities are endless as i see it. i think a lot of our restraint and lack of experience is a conditioned response.

Sweet Latino FB, just left. Called me an hour before He got off work and said He wanted to fuck me... i said "absolutely." Pretty addicted to Him, He's definitely taken possession of that 'place' inside of me. He's discovered that i am also His cocksucker. i love Him, so am instantly in the zone with Him and am enjoying everything about sucking, licking, kissing His thighs, perineum, balls, cock, that sweet spot between a Mans balls and His thighs. He loves for me to get His all wet, so the i don't swallow from how He makes my mouth water... He likes to use my spit and His to fuck me. He's stopped using lube, so it sort of hurts when He first pushes in. After sucking Him, He is feeling more aggressive and fucks me longer and harder. my hole is wrecked vs gaped right now. i feel weak and incredible.

i believe, more often than not, in an argument between our emotion and our reasoning, emotion will win out most often. Your desire to be a 'cumdump' and your subsequent failure to get there are both emotional dispositions, so i think you are on the right track to look for a "ritual" or way to get past your emotions vs just reasoning with your self. It can be hard to shift our entrenched feelings, especially the ones we have strengthened through habit. i'd suggest altering your approach, change the venue. i don't know what your cruising spot is, but maybe try starting with that choice. If your "cruising spot" is, say, a park or sauna that involves you being out in the open and seen, choose a different venue like a cruisy restroom with a GH or an ABS with lots of booths and GH's. A GH makes the process a lot more anonymous and can refine the hookup process down to cock and hole. Some guys simply get in a booth, close the door and back their hole against a GH and wait. That takes a lot of the visual concerns out of the equation. But i'd suggest not going to the same place/places, totally switch it up. Go to a different city, different venue, etc.. That way your mind and emotions will not have familiar things to hang onto and support your fears. Just choose a random ABS you've never considered before, find a booth with a GH and present. As others have noted, we all have concerns about whether we are desirable and fears of rejection. But i'm guessing you have already thought of that, still doesn't alter reality, eh? Maybe also change up your expectations and definitions. We've all experienced and been defeated by unrealistic expectations in life (doesn't just apply to sex, eh?). To me, a "cumdump" is just a guy who wants another guys cum inside of him, it does not have to do with numbers, types, venues, etc.. Sometimes you get one cock, sometimes five, but in both experiences, you are still a bottom who wants a Mans cock and seed inside of him (aka, a "cumdump") . Not getting that does not make you any less of a "cumdump,' it just makes you a less fulfilled or satisfied cumdump lol.

Just left. my regular Sweet Latino FB, we seem to keep each other pretty damned happy... i'm literally shaking as i type this. Lately He seems to like when i suck Him first... i adore Him, so my heart and soul is poured into licking, kissing and sucking His Cock, balls, thighs and surrounding area. i love having His scent on my face, it's an added sweetness to the connection. Plus, i can look up and watch His face and His pleasure is so obvious it feeds both my soul and my lust and i get more intense. To me, this is one of the best parts of compatible sex when the chemistry is there, each of our lust/desire/need naturally feeds and fuels the others. He gets to this point where His cock is so hard it looks and feels like He is going to bust through His skin, and about that time He growls: "I'm gonna fuck the shit out of you." And, He does. The other night He left me with a gaping, round cream pie, today my hole is like it was the other night after getting that gape fucked hard a second time where it looks like a loose pussy after. i'm literally dripping, which doesn't happen very often since i purposely clench to keep every drop of seed inside. Definitely at that conquered hole state where it's still in a state of complete surrender. Feeling a warm and fortunate state of bliss.

i had been receiving bare cocks and loads for >30 years before testing poz, and i've long been in the >'1000 cocks club.' As it turns out, i was getting routine testing and had decided to go on PrEP, but didn't turn out that way. Psychosexual urges are hard to resist, and often impossible to comprehend, but i'd encourage you to go on PrEP. Untreated HIV is a death sentence, and not a friendly or sexy one at that. If you have ever cared for someone dying of AID's it's a devastating disease. We are all fortunate that pretty much no one in this era need die of AID's, it is a treatable disease with few, if any, side effects for most. But It takes away an element of freedom. You are tied to a daily dose of medication. We are lucky to have that, but it is still a tether, a dependency. i do not regret on fuck or load i have ever received... i am grateful for every one, including the one that pozzed me. But i am not grateful for HIV. It's a disease that takes away a human freedom, it's not a 'gift,' any more than Covid, or the flu or a stroke or a heart attack. It's a pathogen and the opposite of life giving seed/semen. i would not wanna eat poisoned food, no matter how much the Guy Who made and served it was, why would we purposely wanna eat the same guys poisoned seed? lol, it's a mystery, but i understand that not all urges/desires are reasonable. Still, i'd try to avoid giving in to the "chaser/gifter" urge if you can.

Couple of thoughts. From my read, it seems you have not actually experienced what you are writing about? I.e., you have pretty much been exclusive with one FB? i suggest there is a difference between imagined desire and reality, and until you actually experience the multiple cocks you imagine, you won't really know the "who you are" part. Right now, it doesn't seem you are a 'cum dump," it's a desire or fantasy, not an actual reality. You have an exclusive relationship with one Man who breeds you about every other day, and you are not satisfied by that. Do you feel you have identified what it is about being with a Man that feeds your need/desire? Is it purely physical. i don't believe it ever is, but i think some try to restrict it to physical only and sort of hide from the emotional/psychological reasons that drive them. i find a lot of guys never dig in and figure out what is driving their needs/desires, and end up feeding them generally instead of specifically. It may be you can get what you need/desire from a couple of FB's, or you may find you're at the other end and never want to be fucked by the same guy twice. So, my two considerations would be: try to understand more specifically what and why you want/need with another man/men, and secondly step in vs jump in. You don't really know till you try, but it doesn't have to be an all or nothing decision or process. From where i sit, you've already identified your main "mental hurdle" right now, it seems to be the two year relationship you have with the Man breeding you. That kind of arrangement seems very one sided to me. He is not exclusive, but wants/expects you to be? In a sense, he is doing/getting what you want, but restricting you from doing the same.

Tried to write about this last night after it happened, but got redirected to another site. Turns out my VPN was going through Salt Lake City Utah, a "Taliban State" that bans sites like BZ. Changed that this morning, even though i have a thing for Mormon Guys. my Sweet Latino FB called from work saying He got off work at 830 and was really horny, i told Him i'd be ready. Truth is, i'd prepped earlier hoping to hear from Him, so was just a matter of a quick refresh and was glad i hadn't eaten dinner yet. He's into sucking me sometimes, and i let Him. He never makes me cum and has told me He doesn't think He'd like cum, so it works for us. my psychosexual wiring is such that i don't relate to having a "cock" to penetrate or fuck with. To me it's more of a male type of clitoris that can get sexual stimulation, but not made for fucking with. i love when a Man purposefully uses it not to make me ever cum that way, but just to make me hornier for Him. We inadvertently have that, though He doesn't seem to get the ideas behind 'mind fuck.' He's a sweet Top and i love His personality, so i'm pretty pliant with Him. He also loves getting His cock sucked and while sucking me said: "let me know when you want to suck mine." i suggested He Top 69 me, so He came over my face and i received His Cock. He didn't get it though, and i had absolutely no space to move (He's a solid mass of muscle), and i was pinned under Him taking His Cock all the way. i seem to have crossed a barrier in my cock sucking abilities and take cock into my throat a lot easier now, barely ever gag? So i pretty much just held His whole cock in my throat for awhile, tonguing it. He likes when i suck Him though, so ended up between His thighs, licking and sucking Him... which is better. i get into subspace that way and He seems to like when i get that way, which just feeds my 'worshipful' disposition more. At one point He got very close to orgasm and said: "I'm going to fuck the shit out of you." i got on my belly and He pushed right in without lube and took me a few to get past the sudden pain (rarely have that). Pretty sure He came quickly, because i got 'lubed' very fast, but He always keeps fucking and is a multiple cummer. When He's done, He always just pulls out and rolls off me and takes a shower. i always reach around after so i can feel His seed with my finger, and felt my round, gaped hole. When He came in after showering i asked Him to put His finger in my hole and feel what He made, but He didn't seem to get where i was coming from, so i didn't pursue it lol... but fuck, i love the molding/shaping effect a Top can have on my hole. i love that 'mark.' He left me with such a sweet cream pie, i felt the desire to share it and opened Grindr. i almost never cruise Grindr, usually a wasteland, but have had some success recently and got hit on almost instantly. Ten minutes later a Guy walked in my back door and into my dark room where i lay on my bed ass up ready for Him. He stood at the side of my and said He needed to get hard, so i offered to suck Him. He started out short and thick and grew quickly to a nice 7-8 inches with sweet girth. He liked getting sucked to the hilt and started fucking my face... was sweet cupping His balls as we enjoyed His Cock. He asked me to stand at the side of the bed so He could fuck me. i'm tall and had to squat down, but it was no big deal to do so and He pushed in to my cream pie. His cock was BIG, lol. i'm still surprised by being filled and stretched, even after all the cock that's been inside of me, the thrill and sense of gratitude never goes away as i gasped and received Him. As He fucked, my cream pie became sloppier and sloppier and He swelled and His breathing changed signally He was gonna bust, which He did with wonderful satisfaction on His part. i love perceiving a Mans satisfied lust, fuck it's the best feeling on earth. As He withdrew, i clenched as best i could to hold His seed... harder to do when standing, but i fought gravity and also reached around and covered my now vacant and wrecked hole with my hand to keep His seed in and felt what a sloppy gash i had. Felt like i had about a gallon of cum in me, and my hole was no longer round and gaped, but His big Cock had pulled and shaped it into a mass of pussy like swollen lips. After He left, i turned my light on and there was a sizable puddled of cum on the floor. i sent Him a quick message on Grindr telling Him what a sweet fuck He was and thanking Him and fell asleep full of seed.

i think you've gotten some great answers already, and mine is similar (i.e., it generally depends on the bottoms , and Tops, understanding and experience level). i think one of the thrills of Man on man sex is the long term opening and molding effect. As i experience sex with Men, part of the way Men mark and 'impregnate' another man is by shaping his hole. Like others have mentioned, receiving lots of Cock can gradually change your hole into a fuck slash vs an ass pucker. i remember when i realized i no longer have an ass hole made for retention, but a fuck hole that's been changed, opened and molded to receive Cock and fucking. i see sex as part of the human creative process. Some are wired as 'creators' (to varying degrees) and some are wired as 'creations' (to varying degrees). i love being the clay or canvas a Man uses His creative energy/desire/need with and my hole shows a lifetime of Men exercising Their creative energy. Check out the thread: "Let's see your holes," it's like an art show.

i do not think being honest about Who You are is "selfish." i think it's a question of compatibility. yin goes with Yang, yin doesn't go with yin, Yang doesn't go with Yang. If we were taught to look for compatibility in relationship vs the notion that 'love' is sacrificial, arrangements like marriage would perhaps have a better than 50% success rate lol. Instead, some cultural conditioning promotes quid-pro-quo over compatibility, which i think is never mutually satisfying, and not very tenable long term. It makes a lot more sense to me to A) know your self B) connect with someone who knows their self C) communicate D) find compatibility A Top with a bottom has a lot better chance of satisfaction and success than two Tops together, or two bottoms? Compatibility can result in a symbiotic connection (and even bond), because each naturally gets what they need/desire just by being who and how they are. If a guy is fucking me or letting me suck him just because i want it, i'll pass. i want to be with Someone Who wants Their cock sucked ,or wants to fuck, as much as i wanna suck Their Cock or get bred by them. To me, anyone who wants You to suck their cock, when You do not like to suck cock, is setting their self up for disappointment because they are turning sex into a mechanical experience. To me, a big part of sex is connecting mutual lust, and they are not getting Your lust if You have their cock in your mouth and don't want it. What a waste of time and energy... and cock.

" How could you get HIV from contact with blood? Text The risk of HIV transmission through blood comes when the person has a detectable viral load and their blood enters another person’s body or comes into contact with a mucous membrane. These are parts of the body with wet, absorbent skin such as the: eyes vagina head of the penis inside of the anus mouth. There’s also a risk if blood from a person who has a detectable viral load comes into contact with a cut or broken skin, giving HIV a way through the skin and into someone’s bloodstream. If blood gets onto skin that isn’t broken, there is no risk. In a medical setting, it’s possible for HIV to be transmitted by someone accidentally cutting themselves with a blade or needle they have used to treat a person living with HIV. This is called a needlestick injury. The risk of being infected in this way is very low. However, if someone thinks they have been exposed to HIV through a needlestick injury, post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may be an option." [think before following links] https://www.tht.org.uk/hiv-and-sexual-health/about-hiv/how-hiv-transmitted#:~:text=Body fluids including semen and,during vaginal or anal sex.

If you're "weird," so am i. Beyond the physical limitations i find riding (physically, i think reverse cowboy is a little better, but not much), for me it's mostly the psychological side of it. i feel like i am the one doing the fucking, and that seems top to me. i can understand that a Top may want to just lie back and enjoy sometimes, and i do not feel top at all when i'm sucking cock, it still feels bottom to me. i think on either side, Top or bottom, it comes down to our individual wiring and perception of things. i too am in the >1000 cock club and can count on one hand the number of times i have ridden. A big part of receiving a Mans Cock, for me, is the energy of Him being in control, and that feels very reversed for me if i am riding.

Whenever i read BBC, my mind reads: BareBackCock

chastity sends the message 😉

i'm curious about IPL also. i've tried everything... at home. Tried a Remington ilight pro plus, i have a cabinet full of shavers, electrical trimmers, got my own waxing set up. I just ordered the Ulike Air+ because it's on sale and $80 less than the Ulike Air3, with not much difference in tech, both have great reviews. i did have results with the Remington, but it was really bulky, tedious and unwieldy to use, so i stopped. All the youtube reviews i have seen on the Ulike IPL have been positive, also they have a cooling technology to protect from burns. We'll see, looks a lot easier to use, twice as fast as the Remington, this one is results in 4 weeks? Again, all the reviews i've seen are positive, so it's worth a try to me. Here's the Ulike Air+ i ordered [think before following links] https://www.amazon.com/Ulike-Sapphire-Ice-Cooling-Technology-Long-lasting/dp/B09BN5GMRL/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=2PPF13SOLSB88&keywords=ulike+hair+removal+device&qid=1685897374&sprefix=ulike%2Caps%2C206&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzUlJIMFZaRVFITlQ0JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUExMDA2NzY4Rk9FTjEySFhFMzRUJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTA4MzYwNTMyWDFZMjhCUzZZVjVCJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfYXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ== i'm not a gorilla, but i have hair everywhere. Want try it on my ass, chest, back, stomach and bikini area, balls and shaft? Shaving just doesn't work well for me, i get ingrown hairs almost overnight it seems? Also, keeping the stubble away is a pain in the ass... literally, and that is the number one complaint i read from Tops who do not like a shaved ass (sand paper stubble), I've tried razors (which do the closest shave in my experience) rotary and foil shavers (less ingrown with those, but not as close and good luck with cracks and crevices). Trimers... just not close enough. Waxing? i didn't have much success doing my own waxing. To get it all took repeat pulls and again, getting to the places i wanted hair gone is really awkward...and this from a guy who does yoga lol. From everything i've read and youtube vids, IPL seems to have come a long way since i tried it 7 years ago, so i'm going to give it another shot. i'll update.

Palm Springs and Fr Lauderdale... i went to Lauderdale in March and PS in May, enjoyed both. i wrote a long post about my time in PS if interested.

i'd like to know is what you are thinking and feeling about the experience retrospectively? Are you angry? Do you feel violated? Turned on? Ambivalent? It seems to me the fact that you told Him to stop means you at least suspected He'd continue to fuck you till He bred you, had you not said "stop". Which is as much as any of us can speculate since none of us can truly know what was going on in his head. The fact He didn't deny anything makes a pretty strong argument for Him trying to breed you though. It also seems to me you were not angry or turned off when it happened because you were fine with switching to oral and taking His cock and seed down your throat?