tallslenderguy

Lol, well, i think BlackDude nailed it from the start: "he's gay." If he gets hard with pre cum, it's hard for me to imagine a clearer or more telling barometer for sexual attraction than an erection leaking pre-cum. Wonder if he masturbates, and if he does, what he fantasizes about when he does? i think he's clearly on the bi or gay side of the spectrum, is also sexually attracted to You, is on the sub side (which calls out to and naturally attracts Your Top/Dom nature). i do not think is conflicted feelings towards his evident sexual desire for You are all that unusual. Read through the multitude of posts here, or any gay online hook up site, and You will run into many posts of guys who have fantasies about being forced to have sex with a Man, and they are not all 'rape' fantasies. Indeed, most are not. Personally, i think what is at the root of those kinds of fantasies is the guy wants, even needs, sex with a Man, but has some sort of conditioned fear or other conflict against it, often rooted in cultural notions that gays are less than, perverted, sick, immoral, etc., ad nauseam. Since we cannot see inside his head, we don't know, but he could very well be trying to seduce You into making the decision for him. Probably not, but it seems to me that he is obviously sexually attracted to You... to me, there's really no question there. The question to me is why he is afraid to have sex with You? i think his cock, and so much else, is telling You he wants You and sex with You, but he has some sort of reason or block against getting what he wants/needs. And again, that is not at all unusual... lot's of guys have that issue coming to terms with their sexual and/or romantic attraction to other men.

"The Spectrum Model of Sex, Gender and Sexuality" "The spectrum model more accurately represents the ways in which an individual’s sex, gender identity, gender expression and sexual and romantic orientations do not always exist as opposite endpoints. They can exist in any combination, and a person's placement on one spectrum does not necessarily determine their placement on any of the others." [think before following links] https://web.archive.org/web/20201103114503/[think before following links] https://www.usd.edu/diversity-and-inclusiveness/office-for-diversity/safe-zone-training/spectrum-model my own take on relationship agrees with the copied and pasted info above. i do not think there is such a thing as 100% compatibility between anyone. i think the tendency to think in binary terms is something we do to try to nail fluidity down to give us a sense of security. I.e., something in us equates static with security. But i wonder that the only truly static state of being in life is... death, the cessation of movement/fluidity. In the context of the "Spectrum Model...," it seems to me that the two of you are experiencing compatibility in some areas, but not in one that is clearly important to You. You wanna fuck, and he does not. Or he may want to fuck, but is conflicted for other reasons. As an aside, i'd be curious if he is sexually active with women? Has he ever had sex? With a nod towards BlackDude, i too think one can be gay and asexual, though such a state of being would probably be almost impossible to fathom for most of us in the BZ community lol.

Just left... let's see if i can type straight.... no, can only type gay. Man Who's been chatting with me from Squirt for a couple of weeks, made a date about a week ago, so had all the typical concerns since He's in Portland and i'm in Albany, about 60 miles away. He made the drive. He's got a little kink going on and a Total Top Who loves opened, sloppy "pussy," (His word). To hopefully make Him a wee bit happier and turned on, i was waiting with a 22 inch slink plug in my hole to open me deep for Him. i was naked and ass up when He walked in my back door... my house has a great set up for walk in. He was pretty surprised and turned on with the plug kept coming out, without an end in sight. i hadn't used the slink/plug in a couple of years, so i was pretty uncomfortable with it in and it took me a long time to get it in, but i'm glad i did it. He was instantly hard. He's 6.5 inches long, but 8 inches around (He sent me a pick with it wrapped in a tape measure), and yep, His Cock is that big around. He fucked me for about an hour and a half, with about a ten minute break two thirds of the way and i sucked His Cock and balls and we cuddled a bit. He is a magnificent Fucker, very intuitive and connecting with Him was the most natural thing in the world. He shouted pretty loud when He plowed deep and seeded me, and if He thrust two more times, i think i would have cum as well, He pounded the fuck out of my prostate. After, i asked if He wanted to shower before making the trip back home, and He asked if i wanted to drink His piss. Absolutely. i've taken lots of piss up the ass, but i'm still a piss drinker in training, this was only my fourth time. So far, the best i've done is 75%. His cock was still pretty big, but as soon as He put the tip in my mouth, His piss hit the back of my throat and went down the wrong way, but i was able to recover. It was a lot, and pretty strong, but i'm proud to say i drank it all without wasting any. He is a very vocal Top, and He was saying how good it felt, and that always brings out the bottom in me. Nothing opens me like the honest desire and pleasure of my Top, it really helped me drink it all. After i told Him it was only my fourth time and He said: "that felt almost as good as an orgasm, you took it like a champ," He definitely possessed and used the boy in me and i keep exhaling through my mouth so i can smell His piss on my breath, Two different kind s of breeding, both beautiful gifts. He's in me now.

About a half hour ago. my Latino FB. It had been 2 weeks, and i was really missing Him He's BI and pretty young (27), has a girl friend. He's pretty quiet, but i get the impression sometimes He's conflicted about fucking me.. a guy? idk, could be my imagination, He doesn't open up much and i don't ever want to be pushy with, just pussy with Him ( He likes that). We text when He wants to fuck, and is paranoid about any overt references to sex, so He always initiates and just asks: "free rn" which means "free right now." i often scramble to prep for Him, but don't mind with Him. He's been breeding me a couple of years now, so He's definitely got some ownership going on, though i doubt He realizes that. Despite it being 2 weeks, i could tell He missed me, for whatever reason He didn't come over, i have come to realize He eventually will, and when He's goes longer sometimes, it's like He's been storing all His lust and cum up. i know that's not true, but i think a part of it is. He's more intense, and it feels like i have a gallon of cum and precum in me right now, and my soul as well as my body are very well bred right now.

About 10 minutes ago. i'm going to call Him "Fat Cock." because when ever He contacts me He tells me He wants to "feed me His Fat Cock." He loves to be sucked first as a prelude, and i am happy to suck Him. i am a cock sucker after all, and i enjoy how much pleasure He gets, just brings out more of the cock sucker in me, so i don't ever get bored or anxious to get fucked, i like following His lead of pleasure. After awhile of Cock sucking, He says: "let me have you." He is really wanting to ope and stretch my hole, He works its with HIs fingers every time, but He is really intuitive and doesn't push, which opens me further. He fucked me with the intent of opening and gaping me at first, He likes pulling out and seeing His work. Then He pounded deep and hard for awhile, and i made a lot of involuntary noise, which He seemed to like even more. He is really apparent when He cums, plunges deep and holds His Cock in deep, planting His Seed deep, which just opens me more to receive. Fuck, i needed that. He was awesome, and i'm grateful.

i have had a similar analogy as hntnhole for several years, i.e., i find random hook up sex to be like fast-food. I.e., it's quick, easy, fills the void, and full of fat, sugar and other additives lol. it's never been my ideal, but i think "ideal" may be an illusion? i'm the annoying guy on hook-up sites with the too long profile. i'm the one who tries to engage in what has been often termed "endless messages." i understand many who do that are not looking to ever get together, just jack off... but some of us (waves hand) have a purpose."Endless messages" are my attempts at communication and "connection." i will have fast food sex if that's all i can get, or if just don't want to do the work of preparing a seven course meal... But, i want connection a lot more than i want quick and easy. And that requires some unpacking, because i don't think most of us "connect" in the standard heteronormative ways. i have to get ready for work, so more later... but thanks for starting this thread LetsPozBreed. I think it's a great topic, and i appreciate all the thoughtful responses.

It's not a hole that you are encountering, it's a curve. i've found very slow continuous pressure helps, also shifting your body can help (lying on your left side). i've had good success with depth with a slink, i think it's 20" long? but is graduate in diameter.

i finally gave up trying to get all the lube stains out of my bedding. i even bought a 'water proof' mattress pad so i can keep my soft cotton sheet on when with a Man i'm sleeping with. If it's a hook up, i have a special cover that is has design all over it and hides stains well, i can just toss that in the wash after a few fucks..., i'm slow to wanna wash that away. These days i don't think of it as "stains" but part of the "mark" a Man leaves on me... and my bed as well. i know, i'm such a romantic. i know they are clean and washed, and those are now permanent memories of wonderful times had with Men. Not a traditional view, but i don't mind breaking with tradition.

i was married (to a woman) for half my life... my story is all over BZ, so the short of it is i was religious and trying to straighten myself out. Didn't work of course, but to me forever to accept myself as i am. i knew i was gay from puberty and can trace my attraction to males back to age 7. All my childhood crushes were on boys, but was programed to think myself "sick and sinful." i even stood up in church at age 19 and "confessed" my attraction to males... in a sense, that was my first coming out. But none of us (including my future wife to be, as well as myself) realized what that meant. Meanwhile, while married, about 5 years into marriage, i gave in and had my first sex with a Man. Of course, the proverbial cat was out of the bag and there was no getting 'it ' back in. i realized after divorcing many years later that sex with men became my only true source of recognition and affirmation of my gay bottom nature. i seriously could not help myself or stop, which the religious culture was all over telling me i was a "sexual addict." fuck that, those sanctimonious people are all about justifying their controlling beliefs, they could not care less about things like "love" that they talk about incessantly, but twist into yet another demented form of control (sorry, i'm going off lol). i 'cheated' and lied to cover, hid like a scared rat, and felt horrible for it, my whole married life. i was petrified i'd infect my former wife with something, but felt powerless to stop (these were the days before PReP). i even watched my gay brother die of AID's during the 80's, but nothing stopped my need for a Man. i infected my wife with Chlamydia twice, that was early on when i was still getting sucked, and somehow lied my way out of that. Then my wife got sick and i was convinced i'd given her AID's (by that time i was getting fucked bare and often... usually daily). i went to our church pastor and "confessed" and he told me i had to tell her. i did, and that was a hell i cannot describe. Doubled my guilt and shame, but i thought now that i'd 'come clean' i'd be able to get over being gay. Lol, i was a very slow learner, but really, i was a sincere believer in all the religious stuff i'd been conditioned by, and also had fed and nurtured myself on as an adult. It took me so long to process and try changing till i finally realized and accepted: i'm gay and i NEED a Man. Basic stuff, but i had a deep pit to dig out of. But i did. i did not rebel against religion or my conditioning, i saw through it. As torturous as that process was, it was the making of me. i regret the lying and cheating i did, not justification for that, but i also understand and can forgive myself for it, i was in an untenable mind fuck (not the good kind) prison. Getting divorced cost me everything i had (literally), but i gained honesty, integrity and my self in return. It was well worth the price. i am a happy, peaceful guy now, and free to love a Man without fear, guilt, shame or remorse.

Lol, Right? i have a feeling that if guys are open or think about it, well get some cool info here. To me, we cannot be too hyper aware of who and how we are sexually. i think a lot of our hiding many of our sexual parts is just cultural programming against being different. i was bred by a newer FB a week ago who uses copious amount of my silicon lube, not just on my hole, but on His hands and all over my ass. i'm face down and He's faking me, Him sitting and straddling me, and He reached behind and started rubbing my inner thighs with His slippery hands. i ramped up about 100% when He did that and almost instantly had an orgasm... from texture.

This morning i was putting lotion on my hands, and as is my habit, i put on extra because i often apply the extra to my ass. i also exfoliate regularly. i know this thread may come off as silly to a lot of guys, and i'm not overly serious about it either, so have at it, i can laugh at myself pretty easily. my physical sexuality is thoroughly entangled with my psychological sexuality, so as readers of my posts may have noticed, i tend to be very cerebral about all things sexual and analyze the fuck out of fucking. me? i want to be "soft and hairless." More correctly, i want to be wanted as "soft and hairless," and yeah, that goes way beyond just the physical for me. There's a decided mind fuck to it for me when a Man sees and/or wants me that way. Which is not to say i'm overtly feminine, i'm not. i've often been frustrated at how i continually have to explain to people i'm gay, like when women hit on me. So i know i'm not stereotypical. i'm not a gorilla but i am naturally hairy, so i if i want to achieve smooth, i have to wax (painful and tedious) or shave (not as good of results). The truth though is, when it comes to these things, it's not something i make a deal about choosing. my desire to be "soft and hairless" is a reflective, responsive part of me that responds to a Man who likes/wants that. So, it is something i can choose without violating my general nature as a total bottom. Still, "soft and hairless" makes me feel vulnerable and fuckable, and i love when a Man wants me that way. For those who think of such things, thought it would be fun to find out Top, versatile, bottom,__________, views about this.

That was supposed to be "mind fucky" .... funking spell check.

okay, this is wild, do dreams count? This one did for me, i woke up from it about an hour ago and it is still with me, so i thought i'd share it with all of You/you. i was in a restroom stall of sorts, the stall was large, like one of those handicapped stalls and the door was open, so it was in anyones view. i was kneeling and just finishing sucking a Mans Cock and a Man who was with a woman walk in and head into the stall and we were all standing the two Men near me and the woman was sort of in the background. my sense in the dream was that during the momentary standing around 'pecking order' was being determined. The Man Who had just arrived with the woman came over to me (we were still all standing) and turned me around, pulled my jeans down to just above my knees and came up behind me and slid His Cock into me. And that is what woke me up, i could feel His Cock as it went in and i was close to having an orgasm (literally, i would have had a wet dream had i not woken up). The mind is so amazing, i teach patients all the time that "pain is all in the brain," and i thought of that as i woke this morning, how the sensations of fucking are also in the brain. Dreams can be so revealing, they can reveal things like what we deeply want, or are worried about, or_________, but they often reveal our root needs/desires. This one was so mind funky for me, very exposing of my sub side. The thing that i was feeling so keenly in the dream was my position in the order (these words sound way to clinical, it felt incredible and is a big part of what was bringing me to orgasm). The Alpha Man was breeding me in front of the Man Who's cock i'd just sucked (and somehow i knew the new Man knew this) and was taking full possession of me in front of both the other Man and the woman. I've never had or experienced a thought about a Man breeding me in front of a woman... not something i would consciously want at all, but in the dream, it was as if they were all there to demonstrate my position in the order of things, and as i felt that, i almost came. Wow, that was profound.

Bout a half hour ago. my Sweet Latino FB. Had been a week since i heard from Him, which is a long time for us. He woke up wanting to fuck this morning and texted me His usual message: "free rn?" (free right now?). He's typically totally spontaneous, hormones ya know?, and if i don't get back to Him right away, He jacks off or does something else. i don't get the impression He hooks with any other guys, He's Bi and has a girlfriend. He says i'm the only guy He has sex with, but who knows, eh? Doesn't matter to me, long as He's happy and fulfilled, but i naturally scramble and prep when He texts. So i text back, "give me a few to prep and i let You know when i'm ready" (i am always waiting naked and ass up for Him). He texted back: "sorry, my bad, i meant today, just waking up." i asked when He was thinking, He said around Noon. He called about 0910 and asked if i was available (we've been FB's for >2 years now, so i'm used to Him lol). i told Him i'd prep and text Him when i was done. i douched and slid a tampon in my hole to absorb excess water, so any 'sloppy' would be from Him, and as i was walking to the kitchen trash can to pull it out and throw it away, i saw His car in my driveway. So, ran to the bed and texted: "ready" and He came in and loaded me twice. After, i dressed in my jock and sweats for the gym, He commented on my yellow jock... He doesn't realize what yellow means lol... info for another day. And i'm off to the gym with a smile on my face. What a great way to start the day. sigh. life is sweet.

Met a sweet Saudi Arabian guy on squirt last night. He's a student and Bi, i think i was His third guy He's been with. After a lot of chat, i realized how new and inexperienced he is, so part of me wanted to be there for him in a sensitive way, help Him figure out where he's at. He wasn't quite ready to top or Top, so i ended up sucking Him off... twice. He was very tactal and just me kissing and touching his arms and chest made him moan and twitch. So fucking hot. i did a slow, teasing suck on Him bringing Him close, then stopping or changing in a way that edged him. Got two big loads down my throat. He told me He had to piss, so i asked Him if He was feeling adventurous. He was horny and open, so i gave Him a quick primer on WS. We went into my walk in shower and i held His flaccid cock in my mouth. Had to help Him as as soon as His cock was in my mouth, He got turned on and couldn't piss. i sat back with is cock about 5 inches from my face and coached him to look at the shower drain and talked to him about other stuff to get his mind off trying to piss. He started to flow, and there was no problem after that, it was quite a rush of piss. i'm still learning how to drink piss from a cock without spilling, this was my third time doing it. Quantity has not been an issue for me, but still conditioning myself with taste. The first rush, sadly, filled my mouth and came back out, maybe about a quarter of His piss. After that, i swallowed every drop without spilling and took a good step forward in my conditioning, my head got into it and overcame my taste buds and i got a gut full. i could tell that He liked it, but was also probably a little confused since it was all new to Him, He'd never even heard of WS. i asked Him what He was thinking and He told me He was thinking about when we could get together again, so we'll see what kind of things He took away and ends up fantasizing about. Not generally one to hook with newbies, as a total bottom not generally one to instruct or coach, but was a sweet experience being part of His discovery.

Wow, this hole is flawless, fucking gorgeous.

Learning to swallow. i've received lots of piss up the ass and love that. i've also loved the idea of drinking a Mans piss from His cock. my desire is maybe more specific than generic. i don't like the taste of piss (yet?), but i love the idea of drinking from a Mans cock if He is into it. I want it to be mutual, that He gets off on using me that way because i get off on His pleasure. To me there are a few things i love: being a part of a Mans pleasure when He 'releaves' Himself, and being the receptacle of His release, relief, and subsequent pleasure. The other thing is the mind fuck, that He realizes i get so much pleasure out of His pleasure that i enjoy being His toilet... even crave it. i love that understanding, connection i can have with a Man. i had my third experience tonight and did really well, got overwhelmed at first, but then swallowed every drop after that without spilling. The taste didn't bother me this time and now i have piss breath... which reminds me of His cock and pleasure in my mouth.

i'm notta top, but i 'played' one when i was married (to a woman). Despite having no hetero needs, my bottom/sub nature? still found a way to derive pleasure with her by giving her pleasure. i learned early on how to control when i came till when or after she did. If she was really flipping out and overwhelmed with pleasure, it would start to throw my switches for orgasm as well. i could control even that to some degree, but there was no need once my 'job' was done. That said, i don't know if that has any bearing on how a true Top/Man (lol, just how i relate to those labels) experiences this? i tend to think orgasm is not Him or me, but a combination, chemistry. And that varies and is where individualism comes in. i do believe that most of us, Top, bottom or anywhere in between, enjoy giving pleasure as part of sex, that our pleasure response is somehow directly effected by the pleasure we are, or are not giving our partner during sex. i do believe, whether we are aware of it or not, that there is a big mental/emotional component to when and how we climax, that i think supersedes the physical component.

Love this thread, men are so fucking hot. i posted a used hairy hole shot earlier, butt our individual holes can be molded and modified, eh? Here's a different pic of mine with less hair and more opened. i can be hairy, smooth or in between, that's something i'm happy to switch up depending on the Man i'm with.

To me, verbal, or any sounds that come out of me, are a response to the Man i am with, not the other way around. i sucked a Mans cock about a week ago, and He was incessant with verbal. i have experienced incessant verbal with a Top before, and it was one of the most profound connections i have ever had, but with this Guy, it was interfering with the connection. The difference? The Man i connected with was real, all His verbal was a real expression of what He was feeling and experiencing, the one who disconnected was trying to hard, he was doing what he thought would be hot, effective, but it was contrived vs a real expression of where he was at, what he was feeling. i think verbal or sounds that we make, are tools to communicate, not to imitate some porn scene or some imagined event we want vs the one we are currently experiencing. As an aside, sometimes the words that come out are nonsensical, especially if the sex connection is really good, brain gets overloaded and what comes out of the mouth is word salad lol. i think imitation begging from a bottom, or imitation instruction from a Top, are both obnoxious and counter productive. But when they are expressions of what One/one is truly feeling and experiencing at the time, i think it is part of the fuck and connection and i'm glad when it's expressed.

Thought it could be fun to start a thread on the differences between gay and straight. Can be serious, stereotype, or just tongue in... cheek, whatever strikes you, as a difference in the two cultures; Here's one just to start it off. In straight culture, if a man tells a woman: "I love you" she's afraid he doesn't want relationship, that he's just trying to get in her pants. In gay culture, if a man tells a man: "I love you," the recipient is afraid he wants a relationship, and not 'just' sex. In a straight dynamic, sex is payment for something. i a gay dynamic, sex is the something. Hope to read some further quips and thoughts on how guys with guys vs guys with women dynamic plays out.

Bout a half hour ago. The Man i mentioned in the post above. He's become a FB, albeit less frequently, about every 10 days. He loves to have His cock sucked and worshiped before fucking, which is a pleasure, it's a sweet cock, very thick. He's always clean and He is hairless on His cock and balls, which i really find sexy. i really was mesmerized by HIs cock today and got in the zone very fast. i was taking Him all the way and in my throat without much gagging and was able to hold Him there for long periods... which He really liked and was leaking precum a lot. His pleasure totally fed my lust and i rubbed His cock on my face so i could have His precum scent on me, i am still breathing Him in as i write this. After sucking Him for some time, He was ready to fuck me, so i was on my stomach. i don't know if it's the size of His cock or the size of His skill, but HOLY FUCK He had me practically screaming with pleasure. To me, every fuck feels incredible, truly, but HIs level of control and possession of me were way the hell up there... i was babbling like a crazed person, He had me so in His power. He too was naturally verbal, nothing contrived, so i knew He was really getting off and that of course doubled my pleasure. When He was ready to seed me, He announced and asked if i wanted, sorta got me to beg for it, and He reached a hand behind Him and was stroking my inner thighs with lube He had on HIs hands, and i just about climaxed when He did that. Wow, i'm so grateful, i've been bred twice in 12 hours, and it was not just a quick hook up, but an ongoing connection... which i really love, that fucks my mind too.

Last night. For those following my saga, it was with my Latino FB. After a couple of years of breeding me, i have a lot of His seed in me, we're probably up to several hundred breedings. The longer we know each other, the more often He breeds me. Last night was the third time in five days. Despite Him knowing i worked yesterday, He texted me and asked if i was available and then put that little praying hands emoji and asked "PLEASE." 13 hours of brutal critical care nursing, and i was going to hit the gym after work to continue my every other day 'skinny white boy routine.' i don't usually hook on work days, but recently have with Him on the last day of my rotation. i drove home fast after work, showered and prepped and texted Him. Nothing back. So after waiting 45 minuted, i texted i was going to the gym. i was all prepped and squeaky clean, so i slipped a bottle of lube in my sweats and off i went. There's always hot Men to watch at the gym. So many Guys in tight fitting sweats or shorts, i can do my whole routine on horny energy. i am a really happy guy after divorce and growing up, i pretty much love Men universally it seems. Though total bottom, a Mans ass is what turns me on, so i'm usually in hyper drive at the gym. No guys obviously cruising though, who goes to the gym at 815 on a Friday night? Enough Guys to fuel my lust. When i finished my weight rotation and left, checking my phone my Latino FB had texted and was on again. He does "dabs" and apparently marijuana makes one horny. Glad i didn't get a ticket going home, drove really fast after texting Him i was on my way from the gym. He didn't text back, so i didn't know if we'd hook, but passed Him driving as i turned onto my street. He turned His car around and followed me back. That was a first. We have always done walk in prior, me naked and waiting ass up, He comes in my unlocked back door. This time we both came in the house fully clothed through the front door. We have become so familiar and comfortable with each other, yet the sex is never routine or mechanical. It is kinda mind blowing to me that after a couple of years, sex with Him is always FUCKING INCREDIBLE. He videos me a couple of months back, and watching the vid was eye opening for me, i make a lot more sounds when getting fucked than i realized, and i think that has happened as i've gotten older. Sex hasn't gotten older, it always seems to be mind blowing for me? i am always still horny after since i don't wanna cum as part of my bottom wiring, butt it's not the kind of insatiable horniness i used to experience, It's the kind of horniness where i could continue to get fucked... forever it seems, my hole is a resilient cunt at this stage, but i'm also very satisfied and grateful for the Man i was just with. i cherish every fuck, it never is routine or 'just' physical for me it seems. And fuck, my hole was so opened and slippery when He was done using me, i was wondering how i was gonna keep all His seed? Turned out He bred deep, so i still have Him inside me this morning. Heaven still. Another less frequent FB emailed me at work yesterday, wants to "feed me" His "fat cock" (it is) today. He's coming over in a few hours. His cock is so thick i come close to orgasm receiving Him. Either way, this bottom is getting sweetly used.

i would not presume to answer for all bottoms, or even bottoms in general, but i can answer for myself. i'm wired to receive a Man inside of me, so i label myself "total bottom." But for me, sex is a part of that wiring, not the whole need/desire. It's as if i have this complex place inside of me that only a 'Man/Top' can fill. i put those labels, Theirs and mine, in single quotes because the defining both is a very complex and detailed process, and i think central for me when answering this question. i'm not sure it would be reasonable to think one Man could fill that space solo, or vice versa for that matter? For instance, compare sex to food (i know, not a perfect comparison, but work with me). i need both to live. Both are psychologically and physically (i think the two are connected) necessary to my health. Can i live without chocolate? Yeah, but i would not be as happy and healthy psychologically without, because it satisfies a real need/want. i get more than a cock and seed from sex, i get more than physical need and desire met. i connect with the Man i am with on so many levels, hopefully as many levels as we can. But that is a complex process. It requires elements like awareness, communication, compatibility, ad infinitum? That said, i think many of us go for quantity, wittingly or unwittingly, because, Top, bottom and everywhere in between, we all have the need/desire to connect, and the places where we need/want to connect are numerable, and often not even conscious. i think partly that's our fault, because we do not take time or make the effort to identify why or what it is that is fueling our drive. i think if we did, many of us would land somewhere in the middle. i know i could be pretty damned satisfied with one Top where we have several crucial needs/desires in common, maybe even enough to be monogamous... idk, haven't had the opportunity to try. i don't look at monogamy as some sort of moral ideal, i think it can have a lot of practical elements though. Probably would be more like having one significant sexual home, where i 'eat most of my meals' and we both go out to eat when we don't have what we want at home. i think "slut" is not an identity, but a need based disposition that can be affected by our attention and understanding. Again, no 'moral' implications in any of my comments.

I do encounter Tops who clearly state they have no interest in cock, touching or otherwise. i'm currently talking to 3 of them. Of course, i make it clear i'm total bottom and delineate what that means. 'Perhaps you don't encounter those particular Tops because you present as versatile and don't attract them. Maybe you don't get approached to get fucked as often because you post a dick pic and state you are versatile. And i'm guessing you have thought of this, you are good about qualifying bias and not being able to prove the postulation you make. Even ErowWired's pole is not really scientific, and the sampling, so far, is pretty small. i have been curious enough that i posted a penis pic on one of my more active profiles today. Didn't change any of my profile verbiage though, i still present as total bottom and do not want to attract men interested in cock. As far as i'm concerned, i still don't have a "cock,' though i'm not delusional, i know i have a penis. i was married 31 years (to a woman) because of religious conditioning. Trying to be in the top role all those years solidified in me that i'm at the far end of the bottom spectrum, i doubt all the discussion in the world is going to make me versatile or get me back into the mind set that i must offer, use or present my penis to/for anyone lol, so you haven't sold me on that one. i'm not looking for "casual sex," i'm looking to get fucked by a Top who wants to fuck me as much as i want to get fucked. i have turned down more than one versatile because i was not convinced THEY would be satisfied just fucking me. And i always ask/question any versatile guy who approaches me, point blank, if they are sure they would be satisfied just fucking a total bottom. i would truly rather go without than have casual or mechanical sex with a guy who i knew was just nominally into it, or worse, disappointed that ti don't flip.