ejaculaTe

Everything that BreedMeInVegas said -- especially about the blindfold (or eye mask), wrist restraints, and the sling position. Being blindfolded not only heightens your other senses, but (at least for me) adds an element of surrender or loss of control, as will the wrist restraints. Have a good time....

The internet has an amazing memory: it was not so long ago that concerned1 was agonizing over the decision to tell a potential boyfriend that he (concerned1) had misstated his age on Grindr. I refer the reader to the Feb. 17 post, "Age difference in potential relationship," that can be found in the General Discussion forum. The reader is obviously free to draw his own conclusions.

Exactly what Nclchub and ErosWired said. Any assistant district attorney with a modicum of intelligence wouldn't even need a statute that specifically criminalized transmission of HIV, statutes regarding assault or recklessly endangering someone being more than enough to support criminal charges. And I can't agree enough that there's a fair likelihood that the guy, despite what he says before, during, and immediately after the breeding, will come to have a different opinion. He only need meet someone whom he finds attractive, etc., but that person is mortified by the fact that you pozzed the guy. In a flash, someone will be very upset, very angry, very vindictive, and the target of that anger will be you. You're playing the odds that the guy's attitude about being pozzed won't change. In this day and age, that's a bet I wouldn't make. Can you definitely say that the #MeToo movement won't hit the breeding/pozzing phenomenon?

Nothing like making the visitors feel at ease....

Start typing those memoirs... Sex in a conservative small town is always intriguing -- that your encounters were with men of color heightens my interest and, I'm sure, that of many others.

So, how was your trip to Tampa? And Tampa Men's Club...?

I admire your restraint -- aggravated assault or attempted murder would have been my first reaction, mitigated only by the fact that he paid for your travel. This is a specific example of the principle "watch what you ask for because you may get it." A more light-hearted phrasing is "the dog that chased the car and caught it." Down on the ground, though, it's a display of fear and self-doubt: your arrival means that if Mr. G [for "older guy"] puts much thought and effort into achieving a goal, by Gad, he can do it. So what does that mean for the last 45 or 50 years of his life? --Another example of this comes to mind -- Craigslist was famous for having M4M ads in which the writer would fervently express his desire to have a man with 8 inches or more come by and plow him like he was a prairie in the spring. No prize for guessing a frequent outcome: it's too big, I'm not ready, this is a bad time, blah, blah, blah. I don't know the fancy psych term for all of this, but the word "avoidance" is coming to mind. Actually, as I sit here typing, it sounds like a pretty good description. -- I suppose my point is that your experiences, aggravating as they are, are within well-worn patterns of human behavior. I readily admit that being in the midst of the encounter is uncomfortable at best and quickly approaches the level of "damn annoying." At a bit more abstract level, the issue of loneliness among the elderly is a concern especially in the health care context -- folks who have frequent bouts of loneliness or social isolation have a higher risk of malnutrition, injuries caused by falls, heart problems, etc. But you're not required to make the world a better place just because some guy sees you as the panacea to all of his emotional and psychological woes. The catchline "make the world a better place if you can" doesn't require herculean efforts on the part of the listener, just that the listener do what he can to improve his little corner of the world. I can't adopt every dog that's in an animal shelter in the US, but I can (and did) adopt two rescue dogs -- their world is pretty good and so is mine, but I digress. Going on a date, however you want to define that term, doesn't require you to have a master's degree in social work so you can be your companion's therapist for the evening. At the risk of making too broad a generalization, that's how men of that generation (hell, it's my generation also since I'm in my 60s) learned how to approach conflict. The emotional sensitivity that -- watch out for another broad generalization -- guys of your generation possess (or at least have been exposed to) was something that developed in the mid- to late-80s. By then, all of us poor saps had been molded and formed, and it could take some real god-damned effort to change. Again, at the risk of boring the reader, it took me 4 years of therapy to get myself on a better emotional path, and the emotional and psychological reactions of 50+ years ago still occasionally flare up. I'm not excusing their behavior towards you, just trying to explain it. I don't have any other ideas, clever or otherwise, at the moment about this. I'll mention though [that damn risk of boredom again] that my boyfriend of almost 2 years is more than 20 years younger than I am. There are guys of my age who really do give a damn about younger guys and who appreciate the energy and perspective they bring. (Note that trophy spouses are a societal-wide phenomenon, and if you read enough history, you'd think that's what the societal elite is about -- who's on whose arm and getting laid that night. A note of appreciation though (this and $3 gets you coffee somewhere in America).... thanks for raising the subject and for challenging us to look at ourselves and around us. You can modestly disavow any intent to have such an effect, but thanks for the time and effort.

Oh, to be 30-something again.... I can see that concerned1 is very inclined to reveal his real age to Mr. Potential Boyfriend, but I'm going to take the Devil's advocate role. I understand the anxiety, but it strikes me that we've conflated the question of trust and truthfulness with the question of age differences. I accept that trust and truthfulness are important in a relationship. But fibbing about one's age on Grindr isn't the same as telling folks that you're an MD when you only have a high school diploma. Fibbing about age -- especially on a hook-up site -- is almost a socially acceptable "little white lie;" understating your age by 5 years is almost telling the truth in that context. It also seems to be rather early days to think you have to have some soul-baring conversation about your real age. What's the rush? Maybe in a couple of months and after you've spent a lot of time with him, but not yet. Of course, if you do proceed to confess, you might consider how many other facets of your life are embellished (or understated). If you come clean about your age, must you come clean about any other fibs? What does your silence in this context mean, and maybe more importantly, how would Mr. Potential Boyfriend view that silence? In any event, best of luck....

Even more important then “to desire to please him out of respect....”

That was a good idea, especially since you write that you were more than a little apprehensive about the whole thing. The hosting bottom’s anecdote about a prior cum-and-go where he had the 3 guys who really wanted to bottom was rather amusing — maybe not so much for the hosting bottom. (I often wondered what guys like the 3 mentioned in the anecdote are thinking — do they expect there to be an overflow?)

This is really good — and wonderfully twisted.

So these lyrics start to run through my mind: Hey, get your car washed today Fill up and you don't have to pay Come on and give us a play (Working at, working at the...) It might be a few weeks before I can think of getting/giving head without humming that tune....

It's not a Mr. IML contest, and the great thing about dark rooms [ok, almost dark rooms] is that no one can really see you; you're just a darker space in the dim light like everyone else. So there's not much chance that your skill -- good, bad, mediocre -- on a given night will become the talk of the town. The only person you need worry about is YOU. Once you stop giving a rat's ass about what other guys think, say, do, etc., your anxiety, unsurprisingly, will diminish, and your dick will react accordingly.

Neither have I.... <evil grin>

I'll just note for the record (so to speak) that I am retired and, to the surprise of many, moved to Florida (and amazingly enough I'm still in Florida). (Versmetropig's remark about folks retiring and moving to FL was just too good for me not to say something.)

it's worth the wait....

I guess the anatomy class will be pretty easy....

This is really good... and the alternating narrators is a nice touch.

wonderfully twisTed.... damn, I love these stories.

Good call on Prince Harry (or should we just call him Mr. Sussex since he had to ditch the "Prince" title?)... And I'd gladly do David Tennant as well as another British actor, Laurence Fox. (Fox is best known for his role as DS James Hathaway in the British TV drama series Lewis from 2006 to 2015).

^^^ Pretty much this.... In between boyfriends, I hit the Philly baths frequently; and in an open relationship, I hit the baths and the various apps. In all of that time, I might have encountered a condom 4 or 5 times.

And likely a tear of joy to the eyes of the bottom (or a few drops of pre-cum from his dick)....

It's comforting to know I'm not the only one with a higher sex drive than I had in my 20s. (On-site investigations can be arranged....)

It's posted in this forum on August 21, 2013....

Just more proof -- as if anyone might need more proof -- that patience is a virtue.