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cam1972

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Everything posted by cam1972

  1. Gotta say I'm with the others that say they would be more concerned with his dishonesty. Even if you are ok with an open relationship the question you have to ask yourself is "Will he be honest and tell me if he contracts another disease from someone else?"
  2. I understand the small town issue. I'm there myself. I have another question. Kind of from observation.... It doesn't sound like you are really that into him. Maybe looking for a reason to leave. Do you want to be with him? You ask if being faithful is worth it. I can only answer for myself. For others it may not be. But for me, every night that I go to bed alone versus the nights I have someone in bed with me.. I wish I had that partner to be with every night. And day. I don't know how old you are, but I'm 39 and I can tell you that the older I get, the more difficult it is to find someone who is interested in me. And I'm not talking about a relationship. Even for casual sex, which I'm not really in to. So it would be worth it for me. Everyone is wired differently. What works for me may not work for you. Ultimately, that's something you have to decide. I will say this: If he is wanting a monogamous relationship and you can't see yourself in that situation, then do what's right for both of you and leave. That is my two cents. Not that it means anything.
  3. And an interesting place it is. There are things in each individual that no one else will understand. Hell, I don't understand myself sometimes.
  4. Speaking from only my experience, I've found that if guys have "Ask me" as their status, they are poz. I've never met a neg guy who put that as their status. But there is always a first for everything.
  5. I agree. That is the question you should be asking yourself. A question I have is does he still want you?
  6. I will confess I don't understand the desire to be humiliated. Not even in fantasy do I like humiliation. And it is extremely humiliating to be cheated on. Been there, done that, didn't even get a damn t-shirt. And I hated it. Cheating on someone would not be exciting for me. Haven't cheated, but I know I would be filled with guilt to the point that it would not be worth it. So no excitement there either. Guess I would check the "no I don't get off on being cheated on" box, if there were one.
  7. Confident, masculine man. I don't mind a bit of a gut. Just want him to care about his health and hygiene. Someone that is a few years older than me is a plus but definitely not necessary. The "must have" is respect.
  8. They aren't just commercials. I've been on Atripla for four.. almost five years. One pill a day. Never have had the amount adjusted once. I've remained undetectable and have had no side effects. Side effects depend on each individual.
  9. I'll agree to disagree. I have no problem with that. I am not trying to "win" an argument. So that's cool. I would have to say that I don't disagree, tho, with you in the anonymous sex situation. I've always felt that those who were into that scene did not give a second's thought to the status of whomever would be having sex with them. So I don't disagree with you there. See? We can agree! I do find it humorous (not in a laughing way) that the response to this video is obviously not what the makers would have intended it to be. I'm citing pozpig46's response. For the vast majority, they are going to bareback regardless of any study put before them.
  10. You say you shake your head about those (including me) that post that guys should tell their status. Yeah.. I'm fully aware that there will always be those who don't care about the other person and lie about their status. But that doesn't mean we have to stand by and just let it happen. If I can get just one person to re-think their stand on stealthing, then my posts will have been worth it. I'm not living in a dream land. We live in a world filled with people who kidnap, steal, murder, and rape. I have no grand illusion that it will all change. But I may change one person's mind. So I can hope.
  11. I couldn't disagree more. Being an adult brings responsibility. For your actions, for your words, for the way you treat people. Especially when you don't respect others. You act as tho the "donor" is a god. Removed from the human aspect of life. As GermanFucker says, man up and take responsibility for your actions. You don't get a free pass just because others may be naive. Oh, and by the way, Webster states the meaning of emotion as "a strong feeling (such as love, anger, joy, hate, or fear)". So first of all, honesty is not an emotion. Nor is it crap.
  12. Wow! You said it so much better and much more succinctly than I! Totally agree!
  13. The documentary was very well made. Is this being shown anywhere? Such as TV? I'm curious as to who the intended audience is. I don't see this changing anyone's mind that is already into barebacking. I know that's my opinion. Just curious about the intentions of the ones who filmed this documentary. Like I said, very well done.
  14. It's not just bottoms who are this way. I've had tops who did the same thing.
  15. I should have stated more clearly a couple of things. That's my fault. 1) I was addressing the OP's title of this thread. Ethics. If you are poz and asked about your status and you lie about it, that is when the blame lies on the poz guy. 2) The neg does indeed have to accept part of the blame as well for converting in any case. but if he's been lied to, the blame is not his alone. The thing I've failed to mention in any post I've made on this subject is this: I'm not into hook ups. I can count on one hand and not use all my fingers the times I've hooked up. Never been to a bath house. Never had group sex. So I know that I come at this from a different angle than most if not all on here. That said, addressing the ethical aspect the OP talks about, the poz have a duty to inform.
  16. First off, trust, lies, honesty and etc are not emotions. Those are ethical issues. And yes, they can and SHOULD blame the guy who knowingly lied to them and said they were neg. No, it won't un-poz you, but it sure as hell does not let the liar off the hook. Yes, at the end of the day, it is the neg guy who will have to deal with the consequences, but these are consequences that could have and should have been avoided had the poz been honest. You can try and justify lying all you want, but it is still wrong. Everyone deserves respect. And part of giving someone respect is being honest about your status. That is the real issue. Respect. It's not "The stupid question". It's a question that deserves an honest answer.
  17. I agree with breedmeup. So well stated. Not to mention, made me cry a little. I couldn't agree more. I would much rather be in a loving, caring relationship than having random sex. It may seem like one is missing out on a lot of fun being in a monogamous relationship, but having someone to share life with is so much better. I've been single for six years, and although I'm just getting ready to turn 40, I wish I had that companionship. Think about this, PlayClay.. You are young and you could probably find sex wherever and with whomever you wanted. But one day (quicker than you can even imagine it can happen) you won't be young anymore and it won't be so easy to find someone who wants to have sex with you, let alone a relationship. And if, during the course of having tons of bareback sex with different guys, you end up with HIV or anything else, it will make it that much more difficult to find someone who wants to be with you. As far as your current boyfriend, if you are going to continue to sleep around, you need to tell him. Do the right thing. It's a decision you have to make yourself as to what you want to do, but don't do it without thinking everything (EVERYTHING) through. You only get one chance at life. Living it up doesn't mean that it will be a better life. Living that life sometimes has a way of biting you in the ass. And not in a good way.
  18. He is not out of his freaking mind. He deserves that from any guy. No guy has a right to lie about his status if asked. It's wrong. Guys that deliberately converted should come to the realization that not everyone is like them. Some wish to remain neg. I, like you, did not ask for HIV. While my story is different from yours, you admit that had the guy told you, you wouldn't have taken his load. So the choice was removed from you. Yes, you chose to bareback. But that does not in any way take one bit of the blame away from the one who pozzed you. He should have told you. I disagree again. Why shouldn't neg guys be allowed to bareback? It may be a pipe dream to think that everyone should be honest about their status, but it would be a better world if they did. And why should those with selfish ideas take away the pleasure and joy of bareback sex from HIV - gay men? A huge issue I have with this argument is this: The gay community is always screaming for equality with the straight community. Straight people in relationships have sex without condoms ALL OF THE TIME. We know that's true since babies are born every minute of every day. So... If we say that gay people shouldn't, aren't we putting ourselves on a lower level than the heterosexual community? I'll answer that. Yes. As far as someone's health being the individual's responsibility.. Yes it is... But I don't agree that it's his solely. If the other sexual partner knows he or she is poz, it's his/her duty to inform. We don't get a free pass just because someone doesn't ask. I know life isn't fair. I'm a current student of the University of Hard Knocks. But if we can at all help life be a little bit better for others, then why the hell shouldn't we? Nothing wrong with being kind to one another. The world would be a much better place if we all were.
  19. Is life worth living if you don't give in? Hell yeah. Life is always worth living. You say you have a bright future ahead. Sounds like you think it's worth living too. Weigh the pros and cons, like your title says. By giving in, you'll gain sensations but may be giving up things that are more important. Sex and drugs aren't everything. Sex is awesome, but that's not all there is to life. Don't rush into your decision. You have your whole life ahead of you. Be sure the risk is worth what you may be giving up.
  20. I disclose my status. Big surprise, eh? I have to be able to live with myself and I couldn't if I lied about my status. I must tell anyone that is interested in me and I won't lie about it.
  21. A friend of mine works in a local AIDS Task Force center. She says that over half of her "clients" are in relationships where the one is poz and the other is neg. Most of those couples have been in relationships lasting at least five years and the neg remains neg. Granted, she can't say whether they are having bareback sex, but there are more people in your situation than you may realize. As far as telling... Yeah... That's his info to share. Keep it between you two.
  22. I've lowered my standards in the past. Wouldn't say I totally dropped them. There has to be some level of attraction. Maybe that's one of the reasons why my number of hook up sex sessions is so low. But I'm cool with that.
  23. Agreed. It's about his load being in me. And the actual sex. Not about the virus for me either.
  24. Relatively harmless?? Tell that to those who've received diseases because their partners cheated! This may be a fetish site, but that doesn't mean you check your regard for other humans at the door when you click sign in to this site. Neither should you do that when you realize you have fetishes. Having a fetish does not give you a free pass to potentially destroy someone's health or trust. It may seem inconsequential to you, but for the person being cheated on, it may result in a life living with a disease someone who supposedly loved you gave to you. It's wrong and a cowardly thing to do. One thing I will agree with you on is that there are many who talk big but don't really do what they say they do. I've always thought that.
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