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Comparing yourself to others is pretty much always going to make you feel inadequate in some way. I'm fully on board with you securing your career, finances, real estate and other material possessions that you deem important first. I've done that myself. Having a bf is not something you should rush into if you ask me. Take your time. You'll find someone. But you gotta be realistic. Like Dan Savage says, you need to figure out what your price of admission is. (You can find his video on YouTube). You are probably not going to end up with a "perfect" guy. Likewise, you are probably not going to be perfect in the eyes of the guy who settles into a relationship with you. But stating (or even thinking) a guy has to look a certain way, have a certain size dick, be completely sexually compatible with you, have this much money, drive a certain car, must allow you to be a slut etc is just not going to have men lining up at your door. As far as the load count goal, I'm smiling (probably because I have a load in me now). You gotta take these load count stories on this site with a grain of salt. We have some pretty impressive fiction writers on here. As you are finding out, a lot of factors contribute to how many loads you get, many of which are not entirely in your control. STDs sometimes come along with those loads, and while PrEP is a first step, it won't shield you from gonorrhea, syphilis, or Hep C. So make sure your health insurance, testing and treatment options are in place before you focus exclusively on loads. All dick ain't good dick. And relax. Life is short. Enjoy. Until you get that next load, watch some porn. Get a prostate massager and give yourself incredible prostate orgasms. Plan that next weekend trip. You might want to accept a wrapped dick here and there. I have convinced guys to fuck me raw after a stint of playing safe. Finally, get out in public and let people see the merchandise. I acquired a new fuck bud recently because I went out on a Saturday night. LOL. I doubt we would have found each other on the apps. Most guys on apps wouldn't pick themselves, yet are on there making demands like bottoms aren't a dime a dozen.

@leatherpunk16: This thread really breaks my heart and I'm not that comfortable commenting on it to be honest. I'd encourage you to talk to a licensed therapist to process the grief and seek closure. I worry that going the legal route will frustrate you, cost you time, money and effort and perhaps not deliver the justice you seek. Mark and Carl, according to you, have a history of playing together (successfully) under the influence of substances. That suggests a certain level of trust. I have zero experience with PnP, but I've always assumed (perhaps wrongly) that anything can happen under those circumstances. Furthermore, more than 2 weeks passed between the party and Mark's death. If Mark said nothing to you to suggest Carl was directly responsible for what happened to him, then maybe he isn't. Carl may indeed be an unsavory character who hosted a party where things went left, but that does not mean he is a killer. I'm very sympathetic to your plight. Defense attorneys are not. There are many unanswered questions here that Carl could exploit to create reasonable doubt. That's why I'm in favor of moving past this very sad event in a way that is least taxing for you psychologically. Good luck to you man.

For me, it's always worth it to be clean back there. I hate that sinking feeling of having an opportunity present itself and my hole is dirty. That hot guy whose stick you painted will probably never fuck you again. He might even tell people about it. Being able to clean out fast - and thoroughly - is very important, but it starts long before planning a sex date or attending a sex party. What is your diet like and what does your stool look like when you pass it? Do you drink enough water? Do you take fiber supplements? If you do, you can almost predict when your bowels will move and your stool will be bulkier, making clean up very easy. I can be ready in just minutes most of the time. It probably frustrates bottoms when I say this, but you have to be strategic about what you eat and when you eat. That's just the facts. Can't go heavy on junk food or overly processed food and then be frustrated when your attempt to clean out is not going well.

I wasn't sure I wanted to go to the bathhouse yesterday, but it was cold and gray outside and I didn't have anything better to do. So I cleaned out, lubed up and used a big butt plug to open up my hole. I arrived just before 4 pm. I immediately saw one of my fuckbuds (who I'll call Hasan) from years ago. Big thick cock, multiple cummer. Hasan was with his bf, who is a big burly bear. Apparently, they have an agreement where they only play together. They led me to a cabin. The bf (who has a short thick cock) had a little trouble mounting me. So Hasan moved behind me and in no time fucked a load into my ass. The bf then puts me on my back and starts fucking me. As he's fucking me, I feel like such a slut. Here I am being mounted, legs wide open, offering up sloppy seconds. After a couple of minutes, the bf lets out a low, guttural moan and blows his load in me. We all lay there in a pile for a bit. I thought, wow, I've been here less than 10 minutes and I've already taken a couple of loads. While all this is happening, I never let on to the bf that I know Hasan. After a stint in the dry sauna and steam room, I sucked off two other guys. I'm not a big fan of having cum in my mouth but I was feeling charitable. I suspect both of the guys were bi because they thanked me profusely for the act. I have this theory that bi guys don't get oral at home without drama. LOL. I see Hasan in the hallway again. I play with his cock and he gets rock hard. He then goes and gets his friend and they take me to the sling room. They take turns on my ass and fuck me harder the second time than they did the first. I'm high on poppers and in heaven. Because I've still got their loads in me from the first fuck, my hole is making loud, sloppy, wet sounds. Hasan got so horned up that he shot two consecutive loads in me. When I get off the sling, I finger my hole, look at my fingers, and see that the cum is frothy at this stage. These motherfuckers had "churned the butter". I have a drink and then go sit quietly in the steam room. At that point, my hole was gaping so much that I couldn't hold all the cum inside me. It started to drip onto the bench. What a sloppy cunt whore I am. Today, I texted Hasan a pic of my cummy hole to let him know he doesn't have to pay for a bathhouse entry if he needs my hole. He wrote me back immediately. I'm curious to see if he takes me up on it.

I had an incident where touching was involved just the other evening in a bar. I had been in the darkroom taking dick after dick and load after load. (By the way, I have very distinct physical features that allow people to easily identify me wherever I am). At one point, I went upstairs to take a break and down a couple of beers. This man ever so casually walked up to me, stroked my face and winked at me. My first reaction was to swat his hand away. Then I realized he probably had bred me and this is how he had chosen to show his appreciation. I thought, "I really shouldn't be overreacting to something as gentle as a touch", when I literally had been face down, ass up, having men deposit their bodily fluids into me. I suddenly loosened up and started stroking other tops that had bred me who seemed open to being touched. I even got the contact info for a couple of them. Sex can be so mechanical at times. It's nice to humanize it sometimes.

I use coconut oil and silicone pretty much interchangeably. For those worried about stains on sheets, just do what I do: buy a $10 black bed sheet on eBay and cover the bed with that when playing.

For me I look at things in terms of cost, effort and expected outcome. I always have a plan B. If I have the name of a hotel I could crash at it and an idea for how else I could get laid, then I'd go. Nothing ventured nothing gained. To answer your question, I've gone to other countries for a hook-up (4-5 hours of travel). One last thing: you mentioned you had only "texted back and forth". I strongly recommend you have a phone conversation. That doesn't mean he won't flake, but it gives you both a chance to feel each other out more. If he doesn't want to talk by phone, don't go.

Before going to parties like this, read up about the risk of Hepatitis C and group sex. It's been said that 1 in 4 HIV positive men are also Hep C positive. There is a cure for Hep C but it costs tens of thousands of dollars. I was lucky enough to get into a clinical trial and was cured. All it takes is: 1) a hung top fucks a Hep C positive bottom and gets blood on his cock from the micro tears in the bottom's anus 2) that same top fucks you 3) You are now Hep C positive and your liver becomes a slow ticking time bomb

Honestly, I don't know what to think. But I do know this. We fuck ourselves up mentally with these labels. I am a man. I have a dick. I can jack my dick and no one labels me. I have a prostate. When my prostate is stimulated, it's pleasurable. But God forbid, I reach inside my own asshole and touch it with my finger, a toy or an actual dick and *boom*, I'm labeled. I don't think a man - no matter if he is straight or a gay top - should pass up prostate play just to preserve a label. If you try it and don't like, then ok fine. On a totally different tangent, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to wrap my head around the idea that lesbians don't want a real dick attached to a man but will happily engage with a fake one - and gay bottoms will readily accept penetration from a man with a real dick but don't want to be penetrated by a woman using a fake one. The post above by @tallslenderguy does provide some insight however. Equally, I am stumped when a straight man can get off fucking his woman in the ass, but will turn around and say he's repulsed by sticking his dick in a man's ass. Following that logic, then gay tops should also be fine with fucking a woman in the ass, right? This is why I have soooo much respect for the guys who find the first available hole and fuck it. They could care less. We're over here juggling and stumbling over labels and they are depositing their cum in asses, pussies and mouths and getting the fuck on with their lives. I'm lucky enough to know a couple of these guys. They're both hung and have very high sex drives. I think their wives are actually GRATEFUL when their men are giving their pussies and assholes a break by fucking other people. 🙂

@tallslenderguy: just liked my post. It took my reputation points to 420. Oh the irony. I make a post about weed and get to 420. LOL. Thanks man.

I got the CBD suppositories in the mail today. I cleaned out, inserted one and then texted my hung fuckbud to come over. I had read that it takes anywhere from 15 to about 30 minutes to kick in. I also suffer from anxiety and back pain and both were in evidence as well before I took it. After about a half hour, I was considerably more relaxed - i.e. less anxiety and much less physical pain. Ten minutes later, my fuckbud (who has a thick 9 inch cock) arrived. I sucked him to get him fully erect and then offered my ass. I told him to fuck me as hard as he could. When we've fucked in the past, I've sometimes been a little tense when first taking his cock. This time, however, I settled in quickly. In fact, I don't recall ever being more relaxed when taking such a big dick. I wondered how my ass felt to him so I texted him afterwards to ask. He said in so many words...yeah that pussy was yanking. He is bi and fucks both men and women equally. His load is resting deep inside me right now. I just now jerked off. Right now, I am in a state of undeniable bliss. I'll be ordering more of these suppositories in the future. For sure.

I guess I'm too much of a believer in karma to pawn someone else's property. Whatever money I got from the sale, I'd always wonder if the next unexpected expense I had was somehow payback for the act. Life is funny sometimes in how it places us in situations where a mirror is held up to our faces. Do we look away and act in shameful ways or do we face ourselves and reveal our true characters?

Sure I can do that. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. It seems these suppositories have been popular for a while. They are just now being marketed to the gays it seems.

From what I've been reading, CBD doesn't have a numbing effect. I just bought some from CBD suppositories from Foria. I am really looking forward to trying them out - not just with my bi fuckbud who is a thick 9 inches but also for chronic pain. As far as CBD oil not being tested enough, I'll take that risk. I don't know what half of these pills I swallow are doing to me, nor do I know what all these additives and preservatives in food are doing to me either.

Double Scorpio Gold. They are way more expensive than most ($34) but that's all I fuck with nowadays. Never have headaches. They smell awesome.

I know OP you said you didn't want to come out of the closet, but if you did, this guy would have nothing to hold over you. When people think you are ashamed of your sexuality, they can weaponize it. I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of going to HR. You never know how HR and the upper management will respond to these types of complaints. It may fall on deaf ears and you could end up being labelled the troublemaker. Since I don't know the organizational set-up, I don't know whether it's an option to talk to this guy's line manager first before going to HR. I would, however, not go to HR just because I don't like a person's conduct. That person's conduct would have to be directly interfering with me and my ability to do my job. I like the point in an earlier post about blocking the offender on all apps. Unfortunately, gossiping is not illegal or there would be court cases all over the place. When I read your post imagining this story involved straight people, I felt slightly differently about it. This situation sucks, but there are always going to be people at work doing uncool and offensive shit. I just steer clear of those people to the extent that I can. And I always ask myself why am I giving this person so much power over me and allowing them to occupy so much space in my head?

I got it a few years back but was lucky enough to join a clinical trial to get the drugs to cure it for free. I am not an IV drug user so I know mine came from group sex barebacking. My theory is that a rather hung top fucked a Hep C poz bottom raw, ripped up his hole in the process and entered me with the blood on his cock from the other bottom. For this reason, I am super careful and will not let a cock go from another hole directly into mine. If I am in a local where there are no paper towel or it is not easy to wash up between partners, I do very little fucking. The drugs are still very expensive to cure it unfortunately. Good luck to you.

Whenever I see a gay person lusting after straight men in this way, I think to myself, oh this is probably more about trying to attain the unattainable than anything. We're told as gays that only 5-10% of men are gay. That means that 90-95% of the men are for the most part unattainable for us. That gets some of us thinking that the grass must be greener on the other side. I guarantee you - given how picky most gay guys are - that those obsessed with straight men would still be frustrated if the world singled out millions of the most unattractive straight men and put them in the gay pool. So for me, this fetish some gays have for straight men is simply about being frustrated that they have an almost zero chance fucking the straight guys they find hot. This must be like being told you can only shop in the fruits and vegetable section of a supermarket but all the guys you are attracted to are in there for everything but fruits and vegetables. And if a straight men did venture over to "our" section, who's to say he would choose you? So yeah, I get it. It's frustrating at times, but get in where you fit in. There is plenty to choose from in the gay pool. God bless.

I am not posting anything that may get me locked up. LOL. Y'all bold as fuck if you aren't familiar with the laws in your jurisdiction regarding HIV. https://www.verywellhealth.com/hiv-criminal-laws-by-state-48705

I think you should think about how to appeal to the guys you want to attract - versus laying it all out there at first(eg cross-dressing, only want dom tops etc). Why? Because a lot of gays are looking for things to reject other gays on out the gate. A perfectly sexy picture of just your ass may be getting you bonus points and then the one in panties you have next to it causes you to get passed over or blocked. Maybe you create different profiles showing different aspects of yourself to see how that works. I think you may be underestimating just how much choice guys have these days. You may be itching to get out there to partake in what you've been missing, but to the gays, you are just another fish in the ocean. I'd also suggest in your case - since you travel a lot - to visit some gay bars and saunas to get more exposure to how guys cruise. Maybe go to some sex parties to see what guys are doing. You will pick up really important cues on who's attracted to you and who is pulling the guys you want to fuck. What you experience online versus in person can be dramatically different. Good luck!

Most guys cum in the time frame that I want them to (about 5-10 min of fucking). I do have a couple of guys who hit me up that can't last two minutes. One guy I hooked up with (twice) came in me as soon as he got his cock in me. I blocked him after that. Another guy that I really like (perfect size cock for my hole) has to repeatedly slow down the rhythm of his fucking. This is frustrating because as soon as I start throwing it back or tightening and loosening my grip on his dick, he literally begs me to stop because it will make him cum. Dude, come on! On one hand, this makes me feel like my ass must be the 8th wonder of the world because often guys lose control. On the other hand, I'm sometimes annoyed because I don't want my ass to be so exciting for a top that I can't get my prostate properly milked. A famous comedian once said a fuck ain't nothing but 50 pumps. I need more than that!

Check out hotel photos on tripadvisor (especially the guest photos) to see If the bathroom has removable shower heads. If they don't, then I don't book that hotel. And I very much agree with the point about traveling with pliers (although you should probably put them in checked luggage). I haven't tried to bring them in a carry-on because I can't think of any convincing arguments as to why I need them on the plane. LOL.

Beautiful ending. 🙂 By the way, as a poz undetectable bottom, it's probably better not to discuss HIV with him unless he asks. You might want to think through what you will say if it comes up. I usually say I'm healthy and tested every few months. It seems like he is bi because he's awfully comfortable sexually with you already. Maybe it's all in my head, but it seems to me that bi guys handle me differently in bed than gay guys. At any rate, happy fucking and thanks for showing us that we as gays don't need to act "thirsty" or wag our asses at a straight/bi guy to get him in bed. Playing it cool works too. Besides if he is used to dealing with women, he expects to hunt for his food - not have it jump on his plate. LOL.

Reading all the posts here, it seems like taking big dicks is about experience, communication and expectations. Experience: Bottoms who are serious about taking big dicks should probably invest in a decent sized dildo to practice on and some poppers. Communication: I think tops need to get bottoms mentally ready for a big dick by reminding bottoms they are bigger than average. And tops know if they are hung based on how previous partners have reacted to their dicks!!! Expectation: I think well-endowed tops should be patient when entering a hole. I know a couple of very hung tops that I won't let fuck me on a regular basis because they literally feel that once they are inside me that I have to submit to being plowed - even if it hurts me. Just because I am the bottom, it doesn't mean I want to be in pain or that I am not an equal partner during the sex act. And it's a sex act - not a sexual assault. I am getting regularly fucked by a well-endowed guy now. Because we're fucking often, my hole has "learned" the curve of his dick. I don't even need much lube. It is some of the hottest sex I've ever had.

@CuriousDallas: thanks for the update. You should use this guy for a pump and dump or simply leave him alone entirely. You are way too invested emotionally in him. That's why in my earlier post I asked if you had caught feelings. It is none of your business what is he doing sexually and if money is changing hands. You can't be that concerned about diseases because you write openly in other posts about the number of partners you have. You have a problem with hustlers and therefore you have a problem with him - but - you can't seem to leave his dick alone. Continuing to sleep with him and then engaging in pillow talk continues to draw you deeper into this situation. Always remember that no matter how strong-minded you think you are, there is always a dick or an ass out here that can cloud your judgment. The key is to know when this is happening and protect yourself. He. Is. Not. Going. To. Stop. Hustling. For. You. Stop kidding yourself. For all we know, he might even enjoy doing it and the money is icing on the cake. And one more thing: ask him not to turn up on your doorstep unannounced. That's fucked up. That is him literally not respecting your boundaries.