tallslenderguy

Heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, etc., likely have inmate causes wired into our individual circuitry, but they are also largely cultural constructs. Where does innate end and learned behave begin? I think (hope) culture is evolving and people are getting freer to express their sexual selves. I hypothesize that if nature tends towards homeostasis (balance) we're headed towards a time when there will be as many tops as bottoms (this could just be a fag fantasy lol), and that there are already plenty of tops out there, but they are socially constrained to express their sexuality in monogamous heterosexual marriage. I've been having an off forum discussion with one of the guys here about the term "faggot." It's a word I used to associate with derision, kind of like "queer." I am finding I like it though as a descriptor for exclusive bottom guys. Words like "bitch, cunt, pussy" are used by some, hated by some, others are neutral, others love the words. But those are all words coopted from women. No woman was ever called a "faggot" or "fag," it's a word exclusively reserved for guys of a certain type. So, to the original question "why do married/straight men hook up with fags?" I believe it's because we all don't naturally fit into the boxes that culture has made, that many conform who would not otherwise if they didn't feel constrained, and others 'cheat.' I wonder if all cultural distinctions like "heater, homo, bi" all disappeared tomorrow and the standard was to have sex wherever their was mutual consent that we'd discover hetero is not as big a 'norm' as has been promulgated.

big ditto to shagularpus, I don't want any of mine leaking out. Like others, when I can, I use some gravity to try and get it deeper. clenching usually does the trick for me too. I think I must have trained myself to hold on to where it just becomes second nature. I went to an ABS a while back and it turned out a guy stealth pissed in me. I figured out who later on because he kept going deep then pausing. I got loaded by two other guys after, took the 20 minute drive home and was doing something when the urge hit to release. I usually ignore it when I know it's cum and it usually passes, but this did not and a gush of piss came out of me. Had I known it was there, I would have been a little less active so I could keep it longer. If I've been fucked with the intent to gape my hole by someone who knows what he is doing, I may need to use a finger over the surface of the hole, just to ensure no leakage, butt otherwise, it's staying where it belongs, even if I have to do a head stand.

"Meanwhile the Indonesian Constitutional Court is currently hearing a petition by a conservative group to recommend changing the country's criminal code to make homosexual sex illegal. "LGBT rights is going hand in hand with women's rights, it is going hand in hand with religious freedoms for minorities, they are all in slow decline in Indonesia," Harsono said. "At the same time, sadly, we are seeing the rise of Islamic fundamentalism ... in Indonesia""." That is a quote from the report. It wasn't that long ago that 'Christian' fundamentalism was trying to pass similar laws in the US. I was arrested in Virginia in 1998 for asking an undercover officer if he wanted to fuck me. A common practice of law enforcement was to assign undercover vice officers in cruising areas and they would pretend to be gay in hopes of entrapping a guy looking for sex. I was charged with a felony and they were using a 100 year old law. It took a year to come to trial, hired a very expensive lawyer. The day of the trial, the arresting officer found me in a lobby and actually apologized for arresting me. The attorney general in VA at that time was a right wing evangelical and had told the attorneys under his control to prosecute to the full extent of the law, so they were out for blood. The judge essentially laughed at the prosecuting attorney and asked my lawyer "what do you want to do?" Unfortunately, my lawyer was kind of past his prime and he replied: " i dunno judge, what do you suggest?" The judge said: "how about we reduce to indecent exposure" (a misdemeanor). I was so scared and relieved at not having a felony, that I went for it. This was before I was out. If that had happened only a few years later, I would have gone to the press. Anyway, there was absolutely no "exposure," the arresting officer and I had a conversation, both with our clothes on. I have a permanent record of indecent exposure that I never committed. I have to explain this whole story anytime I apply for a new job (I'm a critical care nurse and employers do background checks before hiring). I had to explain to the licensing board. Everyone is cool and I have never encountered a problem with it, but it is still stupid to have to tell every one the story. Fundamentalism of any sort is pure insanity and poison. It's the stuff of naziism. Fundamentalists actually believe they know "the will of God" and often consider it their mission to get others to conform to it. Of course, it is only their opinions that they are equating with "God," but fundamentalism is evil and dangerous. Anyone who thinks it cannot happen in this country needs to listen to the speeches of our current vice president.

Something I do is always try to get a sense of the top before we even hook. I am one of those guys who asks questions ahead of time when texting back and forth. I have learned to be careful with that, because a lot of flakes to that too. But for me, knowing what you like ahead of time means that when we hook it can be about the actual sex, we don't have to figure it out or discuss while in the process of fucking. If I have an ad or profile, I state clearly that I am a total bottom and sometimes state that I don't want my cock touched. This way guys who are more versatile and may be in the mood for cock and fuck don't even come on to me because I was clear. On the other hand, guys who just wanna fuck don't have to worry about that now, they know. I ask if they have fantasies or fetishes, then if I can, I try to accommodate. If they like porn, I have it playing. If they want lacey panties or boxers or jock, I have all those. I almost always host and my set up is really easy. I give very clear, step by step instructions on how to find me and get into my house. If a guys already nervous about walking into a strange house, or he cannot find the address because it's so dark out, that's going to detract from his lust. I try to enhance all those things by setting up the environment to make easy access and accommodate fetishes, desires, fantasies.

Thanks for your input (so to speak), on both your posts. On behalf of all bottoms, I apologize for any who would be so inconsiderate as to try and interact with someone else while getting fucked. That's totally insane to me, I cannot imagine doing something so stupid. I do want a tops cum, but equally important to me is I want his pleasure. Really, his cum to me is the token of his pleasure. It tells me he enjoyed the fuck, the experience of being with and inside me and that is what I crave more than anything, that experience where we connect at that level of intense desire for each other. This is why a fuck machine would never do it for me, it lacks the human components of desire, need for connection. I do not want a mechanical fuck, and I don't want to be a flesh jacket. I want to be a warm human being who receives another warm human being inside of me.

Yes, this is so well put Kptinline, thank you for sharing some of your experiences. When I look back on my marriage to a woman I realize that I was still sub, but from a top position, which was a weird dynamic, but it's like I found a way of coping for me while living in a prison of sorts.

Your rational self seems to think you are at least 20% gay. Define gay? It might help if you question heteronormative notions and ideas. Like all ethnocentricity, when we're in that place, the ideas we are raised with are perceived as "true." But you are experiencing a reality that is different from your ideas of what should be? Your culturally conditioned self seems to think "wtf, I'm not gay." Where does the 80% come in? Do you feel other stuff when horny (besides wanting to get fucked in the ass dressed like a sissy bitch?). And, yeah, if this is still all in the fantasy stage, experience will surely tell you something.... but really, I think if you are fantasizing about it, there's obviously something about you that wants it. As to the embarrassment about facing friends... are you planning on putting on a show for them?

"nightdepositbox13" lmao I think your hitting on a lot of the hazards of 'online meeting.' There's not social accountability with online. If your at a bar, bathhouse, gay beach (any place in person), it's pretty much impossible ghost someone. Looks is not a factor because you wouldn't even start the chat if that part isn't right. There's just so much more you can pull when you have the super power of invisibility. Another thing that happens with online is multi tasking. I've had many occasions where you get several people voicing interest all at once... but there's no que like at the DMV, where would be fuckers can take a number and wait their turn. Then there's the whole coordination thing of who wants firsts and who wants seconds. Then there is the age thing. If I'm on a dating site, looking for any possibility of relationship, then I am honest about my age. If I'm on a strictly hook up site, I lie and state the age I can get away with (that's getting harder and harder lol). It is definitely easier for me to hook up in person, where my age isn't plastered next to my ass. Most sites even offer friendly search applications where you can completely eliminate undesirable > 40 year olds. You may be a total hottie, but a lot of guys will not look past the age number when online.

I see this topic touched on a lot here, but don't recall seeing a dedicated thread? So, here goes for those interested. In addition to being wired 'bottom,' I also am wired 'sub.' I have found that means something different to everyone, just like "Top" and "Dom" are defined by the individual. There are general similarities, but the definitions can get complex and individual, so I am looking forward to reading the individual attributes from guys on both sides of the fence. I'll start it off. I recently spent a weekend with a Dom/top guy who picked me up while I was on vacation. I was at a clothing optional gay resort and he saw me sitting on a lounge chair (i had a swimsuit on). I saw him put his shorts on before he approached me. He came over and sat on the lounge next to me and struck up a conversation. He was nice, but the talk was vanilla. He got up to leave and I pointed at the bulge in his shorts and asked: "can I have some of that." He moved in and I pulled his cock out and took it into my mouth. He had at least 8" and it was fat!. I'm not a size person at all, but the size is pertinent to the story lol. As soon as I took his cock into my mouth, he grabbed my head to control it and push deeper into my mouth. I looked up at him and he said "I'm not much of a public person," so I invited him back to my room. I wanted to be bred. On the walk to the room I mentioned that he had "Dom overtones," and he just feigned innocence or ignorance and didn't reply. Back in the room, he removed his clothes and sat back on my bed, leaning against the head board and asked me to strip and lie on my stomach, face between his legs. So began my experience with learning to take his cock. He was patient and subtle, but assertive and persistent in wanting me to take him as he wanted. He pushed me to take it deeper and hold it longer, coaching me to "take it all" or "get it past that curve." When I would get it deeper or hold him in my throat longer, or gag, he would practically gush: "good boy." Which made me feel both humiliated, embarrassed and proud at the same time. He kept at it (we did this for hours with small breaks) adding components. He would add all the stuff together, having me take him deep, not be able to breath and gag then he'd ask me to look into his eyes. That's not all that easy to do all of that in that position, but I found myself trying hard, and succeeding and starting to feel more proud the more he praised me. Forcing his cock into my throat was bringing tears to my eyes, and he obviously like the kind of pleading, tearful look in my eyes. He also got off on asking me questions when my mouth was full of his cock and I couldn't really answer, like a dentist asking you questions while he has a drill in your mouth lol. He didn't seem to care or notice my mouth was full of cock, he'd persist until i answered, garbled and unintelligible, my mouth full of cock. At the end of the day, I found myself full of deep adoration for this guy and craving to please him. Wow. There's a voice in my mind that says I have been totally played and manipulated, but instead of resenting it, I love it and crave more.

"Poor communication..." I've found this to be a problem in all sort of online hook up situations. There seem to be so many guys out there who either don't want to communicate or don't have a clue how to do it. So common to see the "no endless emails" line, and I get that. There are those guys out there who only want to email with no intention of getting together: flakes. That'd be fine if they were just up front about their desires and intentions (i.e., sexy chat). Communication. But the other side of the coin of "endless emails" is guys like me who want to communicate in order to ensure a better experience when we get together. For me, the more details I know about a guy, the better the sex is going to be because I know how to cater to his wants/needs. I can't do that if I don't know, and I'm a lousy mind reader. I think writing can be a great way to communicate about sex because it can take a lot of the shyness out of it for those who feel awkward talking about sex (um, that isn't me lol), but it also gets that part out of the way so when you do get together you can focus on pure sex and not have to worry as much about communication. I'd much rather communicate before fucking than during. When having sex, I want to be in the active mode of employing the stuff we've already communicated about.

Last night... started with a new FB who loved to rim and give my hole pussy lips to breed... he gave me two huge loads, so fucking good. Then another fb contacted me who is one of the more incredible fuckers I have ever been with. This guy has a really large cock, long and thick, and it never gets really hard, but damn does he know how to use it, He fucks long, deep and purposefully. It;s like he targets my prostate and the whole fuck turns into a combination of probing, caressing and assaulting that target the entire time. He fucks for a good half hour to forty minutes and most of the time I feel on the edge of having an orgasm. It's like I can relate to how a woman feels when a guy brings her so close, but not to full orgasm. I moan and squeal involuntarily clenching two fists full of sheets, my ass pushing and gyrating deep into him as he thrusts and moves deep into me. When he comes it's from these huge, low hanging balls and it feels like he leaves a gallon of cum in me. leaving me strangely sated and horny at the same time. It's been about 6 hours now since the first 2 loads and about 3 since the last load he gave me. The loads are exerting pressure to cum out, there is a lot in there, and I have spent the last several hours clenching my hole tight, refusing to give up on precious drop. I swear semen is the ultimate aphrodisiac, love potion. I feel fucking in love lol.

ummmm

lol, my thought too. Though I appreciate that Jerry provided the definition for fetish, I wonder if a woman's desire to be bred would ever be termed a "fetish?" I definitely treat it with reverence, lol. I too have little to no problem retaining it, and if it does by chance want to slide out... I finger it back in.

Okay, was going through and liking a bunch of these posts, then realized most of them were from 2015 lol. Sigh. It is a good question though, so thanks BBanonBoy for refreshing it. I have yet to find one really good site for BB.... In my opinion, BZ is by far the best, but this place is not really a hook up site. As has been noted by others on other threads, hook up sites often have regional preference. I.e., Squirt may be the place in SF, but not in Chicago, etc.. I have gotten BB action from all of the major hook up sites, so when I am looking, I generally have about 5 or 6 tabs open on my computer, trying to find loads anywhere I can get them. I put myself out there as a bottom cum slut and am clear in my profiles about what i am looking for. Of course, I still get guys who want me to fuck them lol... some guys only look at the pictures.

I've been a member of sites like Recon and FetLife for a few years now. Some of the profiles, especially on Recon, are pretty damned exciting to read. But other than tantalized hopefulness, I haven't gotten much, if anything, in the for of connections. I wonder if it's because sites like that are so specialized that they end up with a huge concentration of what appears to be look alikes, and that has the effect of making lots of people invisible because they blend so well into the back drop? I am more and more interested in Dom/sub dynamics and exploring that more in some sort of relationship setting vs just hooking up, but sites like Recon or FetLife haven't helped accomplish that. I figure it there are many reasons, but I'd like to figure a way to connect with Dom guys for the purpose of developing and nurturing our mutual dispositions.

Yeah dear barecubtop, But your willingness, courage and humility to open up, be vulnerable and discuss this is so very mature. You're awesome man, way beyond teenaged drama queen. Sure, you might experience some of that, but a person stuck in drama queen mode would not exhibit all the other mature and contemplative stuff you have. I hope the connections between you end up reflecting mutual beauty.

I've responded to this earlier and in other places... getting piss up the ass is definitely one of my kinks. My inhibitions have dropped away over time and I am pretty much a slut when it comes to being a bottom hole. The first time I ever got pissed in it was stealth, but I felt it for sure and reacted in a startled way. But the top who was doing it was a trusted FB with a gently dom nature. He knew me so well, it was if it wasn't really stealth at all. He always had me lying on my stomach and generally blindfolded to assert his control, but he never hurt me or violated my trust (though he often pushed the envelope). He had just bred me, as he often did, and was lying on me kind of wrapping his body around mine underneath his... intimately pinned. I felt his cock twitching and started to get a full feeling, but when I got started and reacted, he was ready and just let his full weight blanket me and whispered in my ear how much he loved my pussy and how good he felt, telling me it was ike a long orgasm. He knew me well, I immediately lost any resistance and got turned on. Afterward he plugged me before leaving and I had his piss in me several hours. He texted me later explaining I was now a piss slut and my piss would smell like his. It did, and I was and have been since. For me, being pissed in is very much like being bred with seed, it marks me and kinda alters me some with the tops essence. I know, sounds fanciful, but anytime I get cum or piss, i hold it in because I want to absorb it as much as possible to make what that top put in me a part of me. It's magical to me lol. I've been stealth pissed a 2x at a ABS i go to, not sure who the person is, but pretty sure it was the same guy twice. His cock was long enough and he had enough control to where he was able to piss beyond the second sphincter. I think i know who it was, because he'd go deep and pause. Each time though I didn't realize till i got home and had the urge to release, beyond what a hole full of cum causes. Same feel as when you have trapped water that lets down... but the distinct oder of piss gives it away. Each time I have regretted not holding it in, but I discover what it is after the fact and love the guy for doing it.

I do and have had Squirt for years, it's one of the few i do pay for (comparatively cheap?). I don't pay for any others right now. I have a couple of times with all of them, more recently Recon, but Recon seems more relationship oriented to me than a hook up site. I can pass for at least 10 years younger pretty easily (not an illusion), but I don't lie about my age when there's a possibility of relationship/s like places like this. I love the Breeding Zone community, some really honest and vulnerable stuff gets discussed here by some very cool and thoughtful guys. This place is unique in my book, but has never resulted in a meet up or hook up for me. Squirts hit and miss like any other hook up site. It does have some decent member/amateur vids and has cam chat rooms it you are into it. My experience is the various hook up sites like squirt, grindr, BB, a4a, MH, asspig, CL, Recon, fetlife, etc., (lol, i have quite a list) are kinda territorial. I.e., some are popular in some cities, others are more popular in other cities. Squirt worked well for me in VA, CL in KY, OR is a little harder because I'm not in a very big city, but BB seems pretty popular in Portland. Oh, yeah, got some great hits on AP and BB in Palm Springs... but then, PS seems like a gay Mecca to me, especially for older gay guys. TMI? lol

I generally go without and try again later... the tension builds. I have a drawer full of toys that rarely get used because, for me, using them is like fucking myself and the way I am wired it leaves me wanting. For me there's just more to getting fucked, I guess I milk a lot out of the experience (so to speak). I need/want a guys energy and seed, not just a cock to fill the space. Same if I am at a bath house or ABS and a top fucks me but doesn't come or pretends to but doesn't (I feel like I can tell) because he wants to spread himself around. I end up feeling frustrated and needing more. How a top fucks me has a lot to do with whether or not I am sated. And though it's been discussed before, calling my hole or me a pussy can be a total turn on for me depending on how you say it. For me, it's not the word but the attitude behind it. It's a totally emotional thing for me, not rational at all. I am not effeminate and the only people who know I am gay are the people I tell... i.e., there is nothing 'traditionally' "pussy" about me. I am also feminist socially/culturally, so I cringe at patriarchal stereotypes of women. If the word is use derogatorily, or it's attached to mysoginy, I am turned off. But as the conversations on this topic reveal, this can be a very individual, personal thing. For me too. It's not the word, but what is implicit from the individual using it. So, why does it have a "turn on" effect on me? Again, it's the energy and attitude behind it. If I feel the least bit bullied, I turn cold. If I feel threatened, I'm liable to come up on the balls of my feet (the ready stance of a life long martial artist). That rarely happens though. For me the term usually represents a Dom/sub energy, and it pushes my sub button. The more expert the Dom, the more powerful the trigger. Lol, I tend to be a very engaged, cerebral fuck. The Dom tops that end up 'owning' me and leaving their mark are the ones who use the the terms affectionately, but matter of factly. I.e., they are asserting position for both parties. I love the feeling of power exchange, of being possessed by desire. Add intelligence and the skill of a top who is out to not just fuck, but capture and possess, and it takes the experience to a whole different level for me. Using those words is not a black or white deal for me lol.

yeah, black top. Intellectually I know it's a stereotype, and I even chide myself for it, but for the most part my experience with black tops has been... awesome. My experience with black tops is that they are purposeful fuckers, that they fuck with their whole body, including their brains and feelings. Black guys usually leave me with the feeling that they've made love to me. I almost always feel sated after being bred by a black guys, which is saying a lot.

First off, congrats at finding someone who arroused more than your cock! I think sometimes our sexual freedom is a double edged sword because it doesn't always (often?) provide space for some of the other stuff of relationship. I think many of us have learned how to efficiently compartmentalize (I know I have) to get our needs met. I know (well, for me anyway), feelings of affection for someone and the want for more can make one feel upside down, which always seems a little S/m to me lol. Anyway, you seem to have retained your head without, despite how you feel. Also, I am sorry for the fear you are experiencing about being hurt. Damn, yeah, that's just honest. To tell the truth, I don't know if there is any way to completely avoid that possibility. I think there's always a risk to put yourself out there, the risk being, the person may not respond in kind... or worse. My thinking is to tell him how you feel and what you are thinking. It may feel drama queen lol, but feelings can be like that (i.e., "dramatic"), no? I recently had an experience where I was on vacation at a gay resort and a guy approached me. He wasn't anywhere close to my type physically, so visually hot didn't play into it. I'm a slutty bottom who'll get fucked by anyone who wants to breed, so I invited him to my room. Well, this guy ended up pushing all my buttons and turning on all my switches, and I am not just talking sex by a far stretch. I was shocked. He kept hinting at staying and I pushed back saying "this cannot be sustained." (I doubt he had much if any idea where I was coming from or what was going on in me). Basically, I was pushing back against myself, telling myself not to feel what I was feeling. He ended up staying, and my feelings just kinda exploded despite reasonable self lol. I did end up telling him, gingerly but honestly, how I was starting to feel (I really tempered it lol). No drama, but I at least had the satisfaction of being open and honest... which strikes me as very mature and adult. He was kind, but didn't return any of it, so I figured that was that. Yesterday he messaged me saying he was thinking of me. Go figure. Sex can be clean and wham bam, nothing wham bam about romantic feelings and want, but I wouldn't shut them down for the world

Hey Hungry, some great thoughts, thanks for sharing. I can relate to much of what you say. I laugh at myself sometimes when getting fucked and having to bite my tongue to keep from declaring "I love you" to a complete stranger. There is definitely something about the intimacy of the moment of breeding that can bring a rush of emotions to the surface. I too enjoy such encounters and typically do not make "a big deal about the future of the relationship." This was a wee bit different for me on several levels. It's impossible to relive the weekend here in writing, but it was more than my usual fuck and go scenario. We slept together, ate together, explored other stuff together during the day... i.e., a lot more than sex going on. I had a chance to experience his personality and interact with him and he definitely wound his way into my heart, intentionally or not. I haven't lost my ability to be pragmatic, but definitely feeling some new and cool stuff as well. Im not assuming it will go anywhere, idk, but acknowledging the ride.

Thanks fist. I'm pretty cerebral, so thoughtful people always manage to capture a piece of me. I'm using this place to process, some cool people (like yourself) here, who can always add some perspective. I am a natural cynic and critical thinker, so I am not used to having my heart hooked to powerfully lol. I love the freedom I have to express what I feel and think though, hasn't always been that way, so I relish it. You are a wonderful guy, thank you for always being so awesome, you have a place in my heart.

ongoing saga. I don't want to be the pathetic stalker, so I haven't contacted this guy, pretty much figuring I"m off his list of interests. Until yesterday. It's hard for me to imagine it's only been two weeks, seems like a month or more. It's not like I am obsessed, but when I do think of him, I feel desire and kind of a vacuum. Yesterday morning before heading to work I texted him on his phone saying: "wish you had been as take with me as I was with you. You're awesome to me. Ah well, so enjoyed you for the brief time it worked for you. Hope you are well and happy." Was just tired of holding it all in. Even if it is only occasionally that I think of him, when I do it's intense. Then at work I notice I have a message on FB messenger and it's from him: "In [out of the country]. Thinking of you." I wrote back. "Ah cool, hope you are having a great time. Glad you got my message." He immediately wrote back: " Wait. Are you telling me we messaged each other separately at the same time?!? Mine wasn't in response to you!" So, looks kinda like we tried communicating at about the same time. Weird, eh? I let him know i was at work and had been kinda pining for him, haven't heard anything sense.