tallslenderguy

ha, that's a pretty interesting question really. I think words like "slut" "bitch," "whore" have sexist roots and have been traditionally derogatory and applied to women who like lots of sex. Bottom guys who want to get fucked a lot get the the name because of the similar receptive position? The words don't fit a top in my mind, and more, don't fit the feelings they evoke. If someone came to me and said "construction guy is such a whore," I'd think of you as a bottom. The only thing that comes to mind is "typical male" lol

Of course, we don't actually know the why of it, we're speculating... but I can relate to both sides. I am not one to plan sex with a guy as a general rule. I'm not horny 24/7 and I have a life in addition to sex. lol, this has evolved over the years, I used to be hornier more of the time and made more allowances for sex to intrude or displace other plans. I've discovered that I may not feel the same way tomorrow as I do now, so I am not very inclined to plan a hook up for much later. When I am on the prowl, it's because I am horny NOW, and I usually want as much sex as I can get as soon as I can get it. When I am looking it usually a result of edging and building up heat and desire for sex, it's usually a long space of time that I am available because the edging keeps me very horny. So, if a top contacts me at 4 and says "how about 8," I'll usually go for it because I know I'll still be wanting it at that time. But even that has exception. If it's a fb, I am more apt to make a date later, if it's just a hook up, I'll usually say: "get back to me when you're ready" (because it seems more often than not, a hook up does not get back to you or if we've set a date, they do not show). Then there is the dynamic of top vs bottom. I think most bottoms can do a lot more breeding than tops. Most tops cannot breed 5 guys ("breed" not just fuck), one after another, but as a bottom in heat I can take 3x that number. The point being, if I am horny and can get it now, I'm going to go for it vs wait for a later that may not happen. We have developed a system of getting sex, often on demand. It benefits us all when we are ready, not so much when we are not. It's easier for a top to be 'ready,' but a bottom can be "ready" for a longer period of time. lol, yeah, I have encountered this. My guess is you're prolly dealing with a guy who is married or in a relationship. He gets off work at 5 and has a window of opportunity to fuck on his way home from work, but cannot show up home 3 hours after getting off (work).

Funny thing about hormones, they seem to have a similar effect on all of us in that they create a sense of urgency to get it NOW, whether we're tops or bottoms. I often describe myself as a "bitch in heat" when I am horny. It's a visual that stuck with me from childhood when I saw a female dog that was in heat. There were about 15 male dogs at the front door milling about anxiously wanting to breed, and the bitch would have taken every one of them given the opportunity. Hormones push our buttons and sometimes overwhelm our reason lol. Of course, we're not just animals, most of us are domesticated to some degree, so out come the demands, qualifications, lists. I get it. I've been pissed at more than a few tops who didn't get it (i.e., the need for preparation), even after it's explained (not something I want to have to do when I know a guy is looking-who wants to talk douching at a time like that?). My guess is most bottoms know to be prepared before placing an ad or going cruising. Nastybottom referenced the guys who "message you out of the blue to run over and take care of them immediately." As a bottom, if the guy catches me when I am prepped and looking (i.e., 'in heat'), I don't see this guy as a rude intrusion, but a welcomed suitor. The thing is, it is pretty much impossible to be prepped 24/7 (unless you never eat or sleep or have a life), and that's where the problem happens. Both tops and bottoms have created the environment and expectation for sex on demand because it often is the case. That's what ABS and bath houses are all about. Hook up sites are a little grayer, some are looking for now, others for later. It seems what we're mostly talking about here is the regular or occasional FB, or really, someone we've hooked with before, who still has out contact info. Those are the guys who I find myself getting frustrated with for the very reason nastybottom states. I have a couple who I really like and this has kind of become the norm. I've tried to explain, but it just doesn't seem to sink in. But I kind of get it when I can step away from the heat of the moment. I think in part, a lot of bottoms help enable this attitude by not expecting consideration. I think a lot of bottoms are afraid they will miss out if they don't make it easy. I end up being matter of fact, if I can accommodate them, I do. If I can't, I say so and say why. It has not driven anyone away. It sounds cliche, but there is truth in the notion that if you do not value your self, others won't either. I think that's a part of the equation.

I agree with most here, that you're gonna have more challenges as an aging bottom than as an aging top. One of the factors that I haven't seen noted is letting yourself go appearance wise. It's harder to stay in shape as we age and some guys obviously don't even try. As a younger guy, I preferred guys my own age, but an 'older' guy could still turn my head (and have my ass) if he was in good shape. Having said that, what I consider "good shape" is not what others do. I don't need a lot of muscle to turn me on, but I am attracted to a slender guy who is groomed. But honestly, that has little to do with sex for me, I enjoy just about anyone who can get it up and wants to insert it, but I'm usually face down so visual appeal is not a factor. For various reasons, a lot of my sex life with guys has been anonymous to the point that I do not even see them. That seems to work well even though I am aging. I don't really look much older from behind lol. In anonymous fuck it becomes more about the physicality and attitude than looks or age. I used to have a fb who was "morbidly obese" (I mean that as a medical designation), he bred me on a regular basis. He was a great relationship for me and I learned from the experience. I developed affection for him as a person and his weight stopped mattering to me. I've had similar experiences when it comes to age, but in those cases, the visual was not a part of the package.

I think this is a great topic. I believe one of the advantages of being "gay" (read: "different from the norm") is we can question norms and be creative about what works. I think the notion many monogamous couples have that one person can fulfill them is really pushing it. It seems healthy to me to spread desires and needs around with people who are compatible. I think the idea of having a primary relationship can have some benefits, but it makes sense to me to question the norms the come with heteronormative culture. We rarely eat meals with only two ingredients. or only two items of clothing or.... Who says we only need two people in relationship?

My experience was less than stellar, lots of fucking but no one was cumming, I get lots more loads on regular days at a bh than I got at comunion in Portland OR

This is a fascinating thought, that somehow there is a breeding change that occurs in the bottom. Of course, there's no proof, but it sure feeds fantasy. I have long loved the idea of being "marked" by a top with his semen or piss, and carrying a part of him around in me. For me it's why I am a bottom. Beyond getting fucked, it's what the top leaves of himself after he is gone that really makes me crave having him in the first place. Both the expression of his pleasure and an actual part of him transferred from him to me. I also love the attitude of some tops of wanting to do this. Beyond fucking, they want to mark their territory. It really elicits something animal in me and makes my legs spread.

depends on what's on it. I am pretty scrupulous about staying clean, cock and hole and mouth. Not into disease or strong smells and being unclean can promote both. On the other hand, if the cock is coated with cum, that's another matter. since I keep my hole clean, if a top fucks my cum filled hole, it's not unusual for me to clean him off after he's added his own load (no cum unwasted). I usually have a little hesitation in my mind because I know the bacteria in the colon can make you sick upper GI, but I know how thorough I am cleaning my hole, so.... The smell and taste of cum covered cock, yes. Otherwise, no, do not like stinky smelly cock, ass or crotch. (didn't like it on a woman either when I was fucking or eating pussy).

funny typo. some would argue that just being a slut achieves this.

I can imagine it with that description... but I agree it's not a likely scenario for a study. lmao

Ditto to that. It seems I cannot get a bj without getting chlamydia or gonorrhea, I went for years... decades really, without getting a bj for that reason. almost never top either... butt that's mostly because I am bottom wired.

The first time I ever had sex with a guy was me giving him a bj. He came in my mouth and I swallowed it, it did not occur to me to do otherwise. I still suck cock and swallow cum, but it is always my preference to have cum in my ass. If I don't have a choice and all he wants is a bj, my favorite way to have a guy cum in my mouth is if I know he is going to shoot, or he starts to, i take his cock deep throat. For me, feeling him shoot in my throat is the best a bj can be.

Wow, sorry to hear that. It sounds like your healthcare provider treated you presumptively by giving you antibiotics, even though you tested negative for an infection. Prostatitis can also be caused by a virus, in which case antibiotics would not help. The other symptoms you mention (i.e., "itching") usually go along with an infection because the pathogen not only infects the prostate, it infects the urethra. Do you still have the itching, or did some of the symptoms resolve and others not? If you had itching and/or urethral burning, it sounds like you may have had an infection. Infections can cause chronic prostatitis. Flomax is often given for benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH), which is a common occurrence in men, usually as they age. It's possible that you have BPH and because you are sexually active you may have associated the two (i.e., prostate pain and std)? I don't know, just speculating, but you never were actually diagnosed with an std? But BPH wouldn't cause urethral itching. An intervention for enlarged prostate that has been around for a long time is prostate massage. Though it has no evidence as a cure, it is at least fun if you have any bottom tendencies. Seriously, though, it might not "cure" you but it could provide temporary relief for you so that you can function better sexually. Kind of like massaging or stretching a muscle before workout. This link has some other ideas. Good luck. https://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000524.htm

bearbandit, Thanks for the input, it's always appreciated. I took my first dose after lunch and went outside and gardened, no nausea or initial side effects. I'll take it a month then get the round of tests for kidney function, etc. Fingers crossed. I have never been one to have to take meds, but when I do I usually tolerate them well. I do know the colleague is bound by a code of ethics, and HIPPA as well in the U.S. I'm not really worried about people knowing. I do not invite adversity, but have dealt with it enough that I know how. Most of the people I work with are amazing and wonderful people, I would not expect a bad response... but Ive been wrong before. Either way, I'm not going to worry about it. It was really kind of funny the way it happened.

Hi guys, For those of you following my story. I went back to the doctor this last Monday (3/21/16) and he indicated that my tests demonstrated the strain of HIV that I have has no resistance to any of the meds. so today I will start on Truvada and Tivicay (dolutegravir). I'm on my bed typing this with the containers sitting next to me. Despite their reputation for low side effects, I have a little trepidation about taking the first dose. I shouldn't drive a school bus until I know how they are going to affect me. I was provided with copay cards that are good for a year, between them and my insurance I had zero cost. Wow. Kind of a funny story. I am critical care nurse in a hospital and am fairly well known, so I asked the doctor to phone the prescription in to a town where I live, 10 miles away. There was one pharmacy tech in particular that I work with often who I was trying to keep my diagnosis from for some privacy. She greeted me by name as I walked in to get my prescription today and ended up waiting on me. LOL, wtf, I had no idea she worked at both hospitals.

My name on squirt is "tallfarmerguy", (i get a lot of inquiries about sex with animals lol). I get it too, have owned several country places and farmed organic veggies for farmers market. When I got divorced, my former wife got the farm and I ended up moving from Virginia to Louisville KY. Went to school there and got a BSN, now I'm a nurse with a big garden in my backyard. Country life is a mixed bag for me, love the lifestyle, but it's harder to get sex and a guys gotta have cum in his ass after working out in the fields all day (or even while he's working out in the fields).

I agree about the cumunion parties. I've been to one and will not go to another. Plenty of fucking and no unloading. The one I went to there was a guy who fucked me three times, with a condom on!. When he came back for a fourth round I said "sorry, the condom is irritating me." (what I meant was: "it's pissing me off"). I've gone to this same BH on a Monday or Wednesday and always cum away with at least a half dozen loads in my ass. I got fucked plenty at the comunion party, but only got one load. In defense of the top, I get that once a lot of tops cum, they're done, so I can see how they may want to stretch things out (so to speak), before cumming. I also agree about the ABS, especially at lunch or quitting time, seems the intent is more focused. I typically get more action with results at an ABS than I do at a place that's strictly 'gay' venue.

Great point. People cannot tell just by looking at us that we are gay, and vice versa. With men and women, you have visual cues. I'm in a similar boat, people do not know I'm gay unless I tell them, especially since I was married most of my life. There was a time when being effeminate got you identified as "gay," but now we have metrosexual, so that doesn't work. Really effeminacy has never been a true indicator, but it's been used. In an ideal world, anyone could invite anyone out on a date without fear.

Hi gaynevets, Cool question, thanks for putting yourself out there and asking it. I don't think there is one simple answer to this question. I think part of the challenge is we tend to get our ideas of relationship from what's around us, i.e., a heteronormative culture. I see a different chemistry between two guys than there is between a man and woman, or two women for that matter. It makes sense to me that the combination would result in a different type of relationship than what we are (maybe mostly unconsciously?) familiar with and have been raised to expect. Guys from our generation have witnessed some evolution where being gay has gone from being an illness (considered such by society) to a 'normal' state of being. Most of society seems to have accepted that. Though there are sub cultures that are stuck in the dark ages still, we're definitely freer to openly express who we are now. I think that is part of the challenge though. After hiding in closets, backstreet bars and restrooms, from a society that didn't allow for us, we're now freer to be. But being accepted, and the openness that can accompany that, is still in its infancy. I think gay culture lacks a lot of the components for initiating, establishing and maintaining relationship because the opportunity for open relationship is newly available to us. I had an experience when I finally got to the place where I had processed through my homophobic upbringing and accepted who I am. I was at a Barnes & Nobel books store, buying and obviously gay book. Just the fact that I felt free to openly do so was a big change for me. When I was checking out, I was chatting with the guy ringing me up and mentioned that I had no idea if the book was any good. I flipped the book over and showed him a picture of the author saying: " I selected it because I thought the author is cute." So many things were happening for me in that simple exchange. I didn't give a fuck what a perfect stranger thought of me and was being open about who I am (a big change from having hidden most of my life). I was further sort of flirting with a stranger, who I had no idea might or might not be gay, but it didn't matter. I was treating who I am and the fact that I thought another guy was cute as perfectly normal openly. The guy behind the counter was obviously a little surprised but smiled and agreed. It was such a simple thing, but it really felt good to just be. This is probably a way different response than you were looking for or expecting [laughing], but you managed to push a button with your question. If you are still reading, lol, beyond just exercising your freedom to be who you are and asking a guy who looks good to you (relationship wise) out on a date, there is the 21st century approach of dating sites. When it comes to dating for possible relationship vs just hooking for sex, I've had the most success with OK Cupid. For me, the profile is important, but there are also lots of questions that one can answer that the site uses to rate compatibility. When you find someone who interests you, you can compare your answers and determine chemistry on your own. Some of the questions are silly, some worthwhile, but they at least give you a start. I think a profile is also important if you are using a dating site. I believe one has to give to get. I have a long, serious and detailed profile and have also answered many questions. I think a big part of the part of the challenge in finding and establishing relationship is that a lot of guys do not know how to articulate who they are or what they want beyond the basics. My response is almost violent when I read: "I like eating out, walks on the beach and going to the movies...." If that is the extent of a persons self awareness, they are still going to be alone even if they find someone to co-habitate with. My take is GIGO (i.e., "garbage in, garbage out"). I skip those profiles. I also skip the profiles where the person is to lazy to write much, or anything at all, and says something like: "if you want to know, just ask...." What I see when I read that is: "I am lazy and/or haven't got a clue of who I am or what I want, but I know I want, so I am looking for someone else to do all the work for me." The other kind of profile I've learned to avoid is the one where the person believes they are self aware, but seem like they have been looking in a warped mirror. They often have a long list telling all the things that they are: "I am smart, intelligent, funny, good looking, kind, considerate...." At first, this seems pretty good, but really all they are giving is their own biased opinion of themselves, which may or may not be accurate. The profiles that attract me are the ones where the person knows how to be who they are in writing. They share a slice of their life with you, their thoughts and feelings (their whys and wherefores) about a movie, or a food or a beach or a song or a person or event, or anything really. They know how to let you in and give you a glimpse of the person inside. They offer places to connect to, provide stepping stones for the journey of relationship.

lol, 193

For me it's not just the feel, though that's a part of it. I offer my ass for breeding and am disappointed if I get fucked and not bred. For me getting bred is like I get to keep part of the top and his pleasure once he's done. I refer to myself as being "in heat" and that's pretty accurate, I'm driven to be bred. If a top ever uses a condom, I empty it into my ass after.

I used to be more descriminating as a bottom, butt have evolved into such a cum slut, I'll pretty much take any cock that can penetrate me, as long as we're only talking fucking. I'm very picky about who I kiss, a little picky about who I suck, but will bend over for pretty much any bare cock. Used to have a FB who was very obese and had a very small cock, I was always face down when he fucked me. I was always curious how he was able to navigate his way in, given his girth, but he always did and always left a huge load. I loved him. P.s. Construction, you're fucking hot, can't imagine a bottom saying no to you. You had me at the thighs

Hey guys, my kinky side seems to have no end. I ordered a cock and hole vacuum the other day and can't wait for it to show up lol. I've never done either before, don't usually pay much attention to my cock and have had a few tops who played with my hole and used their mouths to suck it into a rosebud, butt beyond that have never played with vac toys or had them used on me. would be interested in reading your opinions and experience about them.

I copied and pasted this from the CDC website on current standards and treatments: "The epidemiology of antimicrobial resistance guides decisions about gonococcal treatment recommendations and has evolved because of shifts in antimicrobial resistance patterns. In 2007, emergence of fluoroquinolone-resistant N. gonorrhoeaein the United States prompted CDC to cease recommending fluoroquinolones for treatment of gonorrhea, leaving cephalosporins as the only remaining class of antimicrobials available for treatment of gonorrhea in the United States (539). Reflecting concern about emerging gonococcal resistance, CDC’s 2010 STD treatment guidelines recommended dual therapy for gonorrhea with a cephalosporin plus either azithromycin or doxycycline, even if NAAT for C. trachomatis was negative at the time of treatment (1). However, during 2006–2011, the minimum concentrations of cefixime needed to inhibit in vitro growth of the N. gonorrhoeae strains circulating in the United States and many other countries increased, suggesting that the effectiveness of cefixime might be waning (118,540). In addition, treatment failures with cefixime or other oral cephalosporins have been reported in Asia (541-544), Europe (545-549), South Africa (550), and Canada (551,552). Ceftriaxone treatment failures for pharyngeal infections have been reported in Australia (553,554), Japan (555), and Europe (556,557).CDC no longer recommends the routine use of cefixime as a first-line regimen for treatment of gonorrhea in the United States (540). In addition, U.S. gonococcal strains with elevated MICs to cefixime also are likely to be resistant to tetracyclines but susceptible to azithromycin (540). Consequently, only one regimen, dual treatment with ceftriaxone and azithromycin, is recommended for treatment of gonorrhea in the United States. CDC (http://www.cdc.gov/std/gisp) and state health departments can provide the most current information on gonococcal susceptibility."

wow, i think that is hot too. I've sucked a lot of cocks, but no one has ever tried that while i was sucking them.