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Was planning to go to this group we have in town on Sundays. But a blk buddy hit me up, and im not one to turn down a 9 thick cock. Got prepped, and went to his place. Sucked him hard, he took me to the bedroom and got me doggie, pounded me then flipped me over and got in me deep. He flipped me back over and made me beg for his load. Love the feeling of a thick cock pumping cum in me. He shot for a good 5 min. I showered and headed to the group party. It’s held in a closed bar. Arrived, stripped. Found a buddy that was there we kissed and sucked. A muscle guy came over and i sucked him hard and bent over a bar stool and he slid deep in me. Another buddy showed up and made a bline for me and stuck his cock in my mouth. Muscle guy pulled out and buddy 1 slid in. We fucked for a bit. We stopped and went out side and made out and this sexy muscle daddy made me suck His cock. Went back inside and got up on the bed doggie. My buddies took turns pounding my holes and they both dumped their loads in me. Before I could get up another guy slid in and pumped a load in me. Love being a cum dump

So my bf and I are back from a long weekend in Berlin, I’ll try and write in detail how it went, but to sum it up, cumtastic! We had an open door at our hotel (Axel), visited Lab twice, fickstutenmarkt and Boiler... my hole was so sloppy I could barely hold anything lol but the vibe was amazing and all my visitors commented on my wet pussy i really have no idea how many men or loads I took but it’s definitely in the 100’s Oink! 🐽 💦

Another back to back load. Got back to the hotel after dinner tonight. Wasn't expecting much on Grindr. Guy messages and we figure out we're in the same hotel. He's 29, 5'10", 190, white guy. From his profile face pic wasn't my type, but he sent a dick pic. I said I'm looking to get fucked here anon ass up face down. I sent a couple ass pics. He asked how many loads I had and I said none yet, but ready when you are. He said he was and I sent the room number. Propped the door open, got ass up face down on the bed and put the blindfold on. He came in and lubed up, sliding in me slowly. We shared a hit of poppers. He started slow then picked up the pace. After pounding me for 10 minutes I felt him unload inside me. He pulled out, wiped off with the towel and left. A couple messages were exchanged talking about how good it felt. After a few minutes he asked if his load was still in me. I said yes I try to hold them as long as I can. Few minutes later he said he was hard again and wanted to fuck me again and try to cum. I said I was ready. He messaged he was on the way down again. Getting in position ass up face down with the blindfold again, he came in and fucked me another 10-15 minutes before he unloaded load #2 in my ass. Pulled out, cleaned off with the towel and left. Haven't heard anything from him since. Think he went to sleep after round 2.

I looked him deep in his eyes and said “So u wanna be an all u can take cum dump that walks around with semen leaking down ur leg, but with a bf to go home and cuddle with, one that will be proud of the abused sloppy mess that ur hole will be. To massage, eat, and continue to fuck this overused hole. And still love and hopefully care about u as u continue on your life goals, plans, and journeys that just happen to include allowing every man who wants or hopes to getting to to actually fuck your hole, that I also get to play with?” Nick looked a little taken aback and stunned I had said this out loud in a restaurant. “I have never had it put that way, but yeah, let's say I am very open to this idea. Would u expect to get to pick everyone that gets to fuck me?” “Hell no, that is totally on you, I may give u suggestions or send u some guys I think would be hot, but I am not going to be ur pimp, just an encouraging boyfriend.” i said and then i whispered”, By the way I have been hard under this table since I realized cum was ur specialty protein in your drink." “I'm sorry, do we need to go now so I can take care of that?” nick said as he started to signal shawn. “no, I am not ready to leave just yet, I'm enjoying this talk and the busboy and that redheaded waiter over there keep staring at u.” at which point shawn shows up. I told shawn “We would like an eclair to share, and your boyfriend's phone number.” Shawn acted surprised, and looked at Nick and then me, and then back at nick. He said to nick, “Do you want it chefs style, or as it is on the menu” I responded before nick could, nick was blushing turned on though. “chefs style, please” shawn looked at me again, then nick. Nick just nodded. “And ur boyfriends number when u get a chance.” he giggled under his breath and walked away. I finally couldnt take it anymore and asked, “ok this is too much to bear, where can we go so I can taste your ass before dessert comes. He grabbed my hand and led me towards the bathrooms but at the last minute turned the corner into a broom and mop closet. When the door closed I turned him around and pulled down his pants. And there it was, the most perfect bubble ass framed in a red jockstrap, with just a light dusting of that blonde hair. As I felt it I realized how solid he was, but also how easily he gave over to anyone wanting his body. He spread his legs and leaned forward. I pushed his cheeks apart and stared at what I felt like was gonna be my new best friend. I must of took too long because he then asked "is everything ok?" "Perfect." I said as I went in to taste. I had the thought that I should have grabbed a pic with my phone before I devoured this hole clean, so i would at least have some good Jack off material if this didnt work out. But i was way too tempted to give in to that at the moment. So in i dove to that delicious ass. The smell filled my nostrils seconds before my tongue found the glory. That pungent smell of semen had me rock hard. And oh my God the taste was fantastic. When my tongue hit his hole I felt him tense and it squirted just a bit of cum on to my tongue. It tasted like heaven. His hole seemed warm and just a little swollen as my tongue felt around what I hoped would become my new play toy. When I finally felt the area around the hole was free from anymore drops of the man seed he had collected I finally had to use my tongue to break the seal and get to the treasure I wanted within. As my tongue finally probed inside nick moaned rather loud and shuddered. I smiled as I was probing as deep as I can get. And with that there was a knock at the door.

Asleep and Taking Loads My boy and I have been coming up with some fun risky scenarios to play out getting him more comfortable taking raw POZ cock. It totally turns both of us on. Over the past few months, I’ve shared his holes with a few guys, mostly buddies, mostly NEG or POZ and medicated. He suggested lining up a few NEG guys online to come over for some group fun and pretend to be drugged up and knocked out. He figured I’d be there to keep things from getting out of hand, so where’s the real harm, right? He told me that he’d start to moan or ‘wake up’ if he’d had too much and wanted to stop. Plus, I’d get to watch these strangers breed my boy and then fuck their cum into his ass. What could go wrong? My boy decided that Saturday night would be our best bet to get a lot of guys. I placed an ad with a few naked pictures showing his hole full of cock, one of it freshly bred and leaking seed, letting guys know he was serious: GUY TAKING NEG LOADS WHILE PASSED OUT. FUN STARTS AT MIDNIGHT THIS SATURDAY. SEND PICS AND STATS FOR ADDRESS. Within the next two days, I’d had about ten replies. Most were from NEG guys who loved the idea. One was from someone POZ saying how risky it was just to trust people. He went on to say that some POZ guys might just say they were NEG and join the scene anyway. He included a pic of his muscular back with a big biohazard tattoo and a really nice, slightly saggy ass. I knew he was right, but sent the address and instructions to come on in to the rest of the NEG guys who I wanted to see raw top my sleepy boy. Saturday afternoon we had an early light lunch and I got the house ready while my boy lounged in the tub and took his time really deep cleaning. We put the bed in the middle of the room and stripped it of our normal sheets with a black rubber mattress cover in their place. My boy took a few hits of poppers and laid down as I ate his hole. Around 11:45, I heard the front door open and two or three voices chatting as they came up the stairs. My boy winked at me and closed his eyes. Three guys came in and stripped their clothes off as I fingered my boys ass, saying that he was out cold, and they could have their way with him. One guy shoved his cock down my boy’s throat. Another one lined up and spit on his dick before shoving it into my boy. My slutty boy must have been really struggling to not groan or moan on those cocks. The third guy, a real frat boy, seemed to be having a hard time getting it up, so I knealt down suck his cock until it was ready to breed my boy. While I was gobbling the frat boy’s cock, a fourth guy showed up, big muscle guy. I remembered his thick tool from his pics. He stipped off his shorts and winked at me while I went back to sucking the frat boy off. The first two men came, one shooting his load all over my ‘sleeping’ boy’s face and hair. The first top shot his load deep into my boy. When he pulled out there was a white river leaking out. I smeared some cum out of my boy’s bangs onto my cock and pushed their cum into him. I fucked my boy for a few minutes. The first two guys were naked and jerking each other off while the frat boy watched and slapped his thickening dick on my boy’s slack mouth. The muscle guy tapped my ass and told me he was ready for his turn. He was rock hard and truly thick, naked from the waist down, his frame peeking out of a black tanktop. I knew my boy must have been struggling to take it all so fast, even though he was well-lubed and pretty open. I watched from behind as he forced inside my boy, his broad shoulders flexing under that shirt. My boy remained totally silent as the guy stabbed his dick balls deep and then went to hammering. When he was about to cum, he shook his head and said, ‘not yet.’ The frat boy was finally fully hard and slid on into my silent boy. I needed a piss really bad, and the first top told me he was thirsty. ‘Not here,’ I said, and pointed to the bathroom. The guy got in the shower and I pissed into his mouth. He swallowed every drop. We were only out of the bedroom for a minute or two when the frat boy shouted that he was going to cum, and we raced back in to watch him hammer his load into my ‘passed-out’ boy’s hungry hole. The muscle guy was next to my boy’s shoulder with his back to us, tapping a spot on his arm. He jerked his cock as the frat boy came then took his place, not waiting for me to have a turn. The guy grunted and growled as he pummeled my boy’s raw ass but my boy never made a sound. As he force fucked my boy, I watched as his ass flapped around and realized where I’d seen it before. I wasn’t at all surprised when his shirt crept high enough that I could see the points of his biohazard tattoo peeking out, but I was too horny to do anything to stop it. I knew this POZ stranger was about to breed my boy, just like he warned me he would. The muscle stud roared as he filled my boy up. ‘I’m breeding you, boy, filling you up with POZ cum! You like that?’ he asked. The three NEG guys sort of freaked out and made a quick exit, grabbing their clothes as they left. I stood there shocked, but fully hard and about to shoot my load. Still inside my boy, the guy leaned forward, ‘You like this game boy? Want me to call my toxic friends over and share your hole with them? You want me to stop?’ My boy didn’t reply. I knew he wanted to eventually take POZ cum, and was waiting for a sign that it was time to call it a night. I rubbed my boy’s face and tried to ask him if he wanted more, but he just drooled. I was a little freaked out. The POZ muscle top went over to his phone and clicked around. He held the screen towards me and I saw a conversation on it: Person 1: Hey boy. Nice profile. You take raw POZ cock? Person 2: I want to… I have this fantasy. Person 1: Yeah? What’s that? Person 2: I convince my man to host a NEG-only party and pretend to be passed out. But, I get a POZ guy to come over and actually give me something so I pass out and can’t stop him from breeding me. Person 1: Yeah, boy? I could do that for you. I have connections… and maybe some POZ buddies who might be into joining… Person 2: Cool Keep your eyes peeled for an ad. That’ll be us. In case my man doesn’t send you the address, here it is: ********** Person 1: Cool. You really want me to mess you up and knock you out? Person 2: Yes, please. The POZ stud took his phone back and grabbed my hips. He guided my cock into my boy’s puffy cummy hole. ‘You like this scene?’ ‘Yeah,’ I replied. 'Breed him. Mix your seed with mine inside him. He wants this.’ He rocked my hips forwards and backwards faster and faster until I shot my load into my boy, pushing that POZ and those NEG loads deeper inside him. The stud licked his lips as I pulled out and spread my boy’s cheeks. He sucked out as much cum as he could until it was smeared all over his mouth. ‘Clean me!,’ he ordered. I licked all over his mouth as he jammed his fingers in and out of my boy. ‘Good thing you’re into this. My buddies are already on their way over…’

I've had a dry spell in my little rural town in upstate New York. I was so horny this weekend and was on all the Apps looking for a top to give me a load. Feeling a little desperate, I finally hit on a very nerdy, skinny looking guy who was half my age. He had chatted with me a few times but I brushed him off based on his profile and his photos. I sent him a message and asked if he was still interested. Thankfully, he was. I went to his apartment expecting the worst. He was as small as I figured (short and thin) and he appeared like and had the mannerisms of a real nerd. We kissed and I was surprised that it was as good as it was. The guy knew how to kiss. He led me to his bedroom and he awkwardly undressed as I yanked off my shorts and shirt to stand before him naked. And there he was naked, very attractive body and sporting a large, uncut cock. He was hard in no time and I was down on it in no time. Sucking him and deep throating him was pure joy. We got onto his bed and he mounted me missionary style. I was feeling his beautiful go in and thrust slowly in and out of my hole. It felt great and he was wonderful at it all. He was very passionate and laid on top of me tight. We kissed during most of it and I held him tight. Even though he was mostly quiet, his breathing and thrusting changed so I knew the load was cumming. It was great. He unloaded in me and didn't stop. He switched to slow thrusting and kind of churned his load in me for a while. It was fantastic. I so want to be fucked by him again. I really learned that a profile and photos can be very misleading. I wish I had said yes to him earlier.

Part 3 - Eddie The Photographer I was getting real good at this flying stuff and for the first time I was recognised on the flight by the one of the flight attendants, initially I thought the it was due to the modelling until he said it was a pleasure to welcome me back on board. I then remembered seeing him on my last flight, not that I paid much attention to anyone and I thought it was quite normal, you know when you took your seat and other passengers looked as you as they boarded. I didn't know if it was a game of trying to suss out your fellow passengers, strangely I found on this flight I started playing that game and watching the characters boarding the flight struggling with their carry on items. It was quite an amusing game to play and passed the time during the boarding process. I guess the worst part was the three hours sitting their watching the seat in front you, I had my music so it wouldn't be that bad and I didn't have to try and feign interest in the person seated next to me. The last stragglers rushed on board almost laughing that they were last despite there still being several minutes before we were scheduled to depart the gate. Now I never flirted or did anything to call myself out you understand, but he did keep catching my eye, I was seated in row 7 which was 3 rows behind first class and in a aisle seat. His name was Mike and really the opposite of what you expect in a flight attendant, I mean come on, you see them floating through the terminal wheeling their little suitcases behind them. He was much like me a very grounded lad from Texas who showed no feminine traits but clearly his ball was in my court. The more I thought about him the more I remembered him, he always stood at the door during the boarding process and served in first class. A privilege reserved only for the cabin manager, that's what this airline called them. When flow of passengers boarding had gaps he glanced several times in my direction, how do I know that?. Okay I was maybe watching him a little in secret, I thought I was being covert but I was busted over and over as he seemed to be looking at me every time I looked. I could have sworn he even smiled a couple of times when he looked away. Well admittedly he was very nice to look at. Definitely in his mid 20's, striking ice blue eyes that contrasted against his brownish hair that was cut in very much the same fashion as mine, you know short on the sides and longer on top. Other than that he was a standard build and my height. I watched him effortlessly close the aircraft door and start talking to the passengers going through the safety demo. Instead of paying attention to the attendant in front I was more focused on Mike as he went through the his lines without faltering and a little humour that people seemed to appreciate. I was looking at him and trying to put him off, it was a little game of cat and mouse but he looked straight back me trying not to blink and staring me out. I nearly got him but he knew his stuff, when he put the phone back in the cradle after finishing they performed the final cabin check. He leaned over me to make sure the person who had fallen asleep had their seat belt fastened, boy did he smell good I thought catching a whiff oh him leaning over me. "Is your seat belt fastened" he asked looking at me "I need to check it is secure". I lifted my arms up "Of course it is" I showed him. He reached down and pulled the strap tighter "There now your secure" he said quietly with a mischievous grin and carried on. I never saw him again until the curtain was drawn back in preparation for landing an deliberately I left the seat belt very loosely fastened. This time he pulled it slowly tighter and tighter until I grabbed his hand giggling unable to move. 'Thank you for flying with us' he said to me smiling as I disembarked, like the idiot I am I just giggled and hurried off the plane and met my driver who was holding the same 'Tom From Texas', he knew me by know but even he found it funny holding that sign up. After checking in to my hotel I went down to the gym and worked out for an hour and had a good nights sleep. The car arrived at 9am, still dressed like a normal person in t-shirt and shorts I came out of the elevator doors and saw Steve who took me to a fitting room for a suit as they wanted to try something different. Patricia came in to the studio just as I was being ushered in by Steve and she stopped twirling me around and nodding her approval, I felt like a dogs dinner dressed up like this and way out of my comfort zone for clothing, I caught sight of myself in the mirror and was amazed how good I really looked dressed like this. Eddie walked in to the studio with a coffee and just glanced failing to recognise me at first then nearly tripping over when it finally clicked. He smiled and shook his head in bewilderment. When Eddie called he was ready I walked over standing in front of him "Hell you look amazing" he said. "I feel amazing" I replied giving him a cheeky grin which didn't go unnoticed by him. Eddie smiled "That I bet you do" he said winking at me. I blushed and Eddie stood there looking at me "Sorry" I said but he just smiled even wider and waited patiently. Patricia came back in during the shoot and took her time looking over the photos "Brilliant" she said smiling. I looked over "Can I have a look?" I asked from across the studio. She looked up "Of course you can, come over" she replied. Even I was shocked trying to comprehend that I was looking at me "God is that really me?". Patricia laughed "It is Tom, can you see why I approached you at the pool now?" she asked. I nodded "Can I have one?" I asked looking at her "I think my family would like to see one". "Yes, you like this one?" she asked me and I nodded "Eddie can you print this one off please" she called out. Eddie walked over and stood behind me feeling his presence "Okay, nice choice Tom" he said patting my shoulder. Eddie went outside the studio "I don't get what you have done to him" Patricia said to me. "To who?" I asked looking confused. "Eddie" she replied "he seems to really enjoy shooting you and shows a lot of patience. Unheard of". I looked at her "I don't know I just asked him to take it easy with me". Patricia laughed "I just wish I could take what you have and give to the others, make my life easier" she smiled. The rest of the afternoon I hung out watching some of the other models and cringed a little when Eddie lost it with one of the male models exasperated with him 'why can't you be like Tom. Take a break' he said putting his camera down and walking out of the studio. Patricia just looked up and told the model to pull himself together, the model Eric shot me a glance like he wanted to kill me muttering under his breath as he walked past 'fucking amateur'. Patricia hearing what he said ripped him to shreds and sent him away to cool down with a warning that if he did that again he was out. Now I was beginning to understand a little more about these models and how uptight they were, cocooned in their own little world. I called it a day not wanting to see anymore of this or him, Steve stopped and saw me about to leave and invited me out for a coffee which turned in dinner. I tried to evade the subject about my sexuality by subtly changing the conversation. Steve chuckled and eventually let it drop but he knew, his gaydar was pretty tuned in "I like you Tom, hope we can be friends" he said. "I guess that would be acceptable" I replied laughing "seriously I would like that". Steve became a friend who I could talk to in LA and be open with in time. For now it was nice just to have someone here who I could hang out with. The following day I met Steve first thing in the morning for a coffee, when we got to the office we could hear Patricia on the phone in her office then swearing and coming out in to the reception. "Steve, Jacob is flying in tonight he is coming to see me tomorrow" she said looking agitated. Steve nodded "Okay is there anything I can do?" he asked. She shook her head "Just get ready he didn't sound happy. God that's the last thing I need" she zoomed off. I looked at Steve "What was all that about?" I asked unsure if he would tell me. "Jacob is one of the top designers. Usually means shit storm if he is flying in" he said picking up the phone. Everything seemed like a drama and Patricia was running around like a headless chicken for most of the morning piling boxes of underwear ranges in the studio that she wanted me to wear. She gave instruction to Steve and left the office for the day with her busy schedule of meetings. "Where is The Model Called Tom" Steve joked walking in to the studio "this set first" he said handing me boxes. Eddie came over to have a look "Nice" he said then looked at me "get changed Tom from Texas" he chuckled. "Haven't you heard Eddie, he is now The Model Called Tom" Steve said laughing holding the briefs up. Steve stayed around for the morning and brought me lunch in, we sat in the corner of the studio on the floor. Eddie walked in a couple of times downloading photos then reappeared and stood looking at us tapping his watch. I stood up and changed in to some other underwear whilst Steve went off to do some work for Patricia. We were only halfway through the afternoon shoot when Eddie said for me to take a break and handed me a bottle of water. "So The Model Called Tom is it now?" he said swigging his water. I sat on the floor "Steve's new nickname for me" I replied grabbing an apple. Eddie sat down on the floor next to me leaning against the wall "I like shooting you naked". I looked at him "That's very random" I said biting my apple. He looked at me and laughed "Sorry, I just think your body is amazing". "Not half as amazing as yours" I said without thinking. Eddie drank some more water "Are you flirting with me?" he asked bumping my shoulder grinning. I stood up feeling way to horny "Now why would I want to flirt with you. Come on time is money" I said to him. Eddie laughed and stood up "Cheeky little thing aren't you" he said picking up his camera. I put on the new briefs and walked out "Are you complaining?" I said walking past looking at him over my shoulder. Eddie stood there shaking his head smiling "No but I can make you complain in many other ways". I stood there embarrassed knowing he was referring to sex "Not if you take that long to get ready" I grinned. Eddie laughed and we got down to business and worked solidly for the last 2 hours. When he was happy that we had got everything needed he signalled job done. I went behind the screen to get changed, sitting in the chair trying to get my laces tied up on my trainers I knew Eddie was standing there. "I have to admit you make my job easy" Eddie said leaning against the wall. I looked up and smiled "I like working with you and thank you for being nice to me". Eddie chuckled "I wasn't joking about shooting you naked, it's a pleasure to do". I blushed fumbling around with the laces "I wasn't naked though, almost but not quite" I quietly replied. "Fuck you drive me insane Tom" Eddie shook his head "If you were gay I would do you" he turned to leave. I paused for a moment, I had to say it "I am" I said surprising myself still looking down at my trainers. Eddie stopped and turned to me "Did you just come out to me?" he asked looking amused. I stood up hesitating unsure what to say, then slowly I nodded "Suppose I did, or maybe I was testing you" thinking I could back track quickly. You could say I was a walking body of deprived sexual contact and I knew if anyone was going to be my first I wanted it to be Eddie. But he stood looking at me trying to work out if I was joking. Bravely I took steps that would open my world up and walked towards him, I had to do this. What the fuck do I do I suddenly began to think standing inches from his face, without time to react Eddie kissed me and my lips just parted, his lips pressed firmly against mine and for several minutes, they were smooth unlike his stubble. It happened very quickly, the kissing moved in to a frenzy hungry for each other. He moved away and looked like he was having seconds thoughts, at that moment I was also unsure for a few fleeting seconds but my body couldn't resist the temptation in front of me. Our eyes locked on each other 'oh fuck' I said before finding my self latched on to his mouth again and held aloft in his muscular arms, we both collapsed on the floor giggling and still kissing, my arms like octopus tentacles roaming all over his body feeling all his muscles. I had no time to second guess or think what I was doing and so wrapped up in the moment and in his arms rolling around on the floor, we never heard the door to the studio opening. "Uhm, you car is here Tom" Steve said catching us both on the floor embroiled in a kiss. Eddie quickly stood up "Fuck" he said running his hands through his cropped hair. I don't know why but I burst out laughing "Oops" was all I said but Steve was giggling. "Don't worry I won't say anything, he turned to Eddie you know the rules" Steve said to him. "Rules?" I said looking at both of them. Steve nodded "Not in the building" he threw Eddie a key "use my apartment you got 4 hours and clean up after". I sat on the floor and looked at Eddie as Steve walked out laughing "I don't know Eddie" I said. He held out his hand and pulled me up "You weren't joking about it being your first time?" Eddie asked. He slipped his arm around my waist and I shook my head "No" I replied quietly blushing. Eddie took my hand again "I said I would go easy and I mean it" he said guiding me out of the studio. I allowed myself to be taken by him and before I knew it we were a few blocks away from my hotel at Steve's apartment, Eddie closed the front door. His hands touched me in a way I had never felt before, moving down my back lifting my shirt and touching my bare skin. I wanted this more than anything and allowed him to continue. Eddie pressed his lips against mine an kissed me softly as my hands fumbled unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it over his shoulders. I stopped at looked at the unbelievably ripped body adorned with tattoos, his dark cropped hair framing his face and golden brown eyes. My hand running up his chest and along his biceps down his arm until I met his hand and he held it, all the time he was looking in to my eyes. For the first time I stood naked in front of another naked guy in such closeness that my body was burning for his touch, my mouth readily accepting his and then his tongue touching mine. It was unlike our kissing in the studio, this was more intimate and very real, seductive and probing I tasted Eddie for the first time and lovingly kissed with him. My arms stopped moving and rested around his waist, his arm around my neck holding me close, the other around my back giving me a sense of security. I had no idea how long we stood and kissed, being so emotionally bound to each other, my eyelids fluttered and closed my body relaxing in to his. His tongue pulled back from my mouth and he stopped kissing me "Are you sure?" he asked. I looked him in the eye "I want to do this" I replied as he stroked my face "I just don't know how to". Our bodies were pressed together "Put your trust in me Tom, I won't do anything you don't want to". "Okay" I replied, still holding my hand he climbed on to he bed on his knees and coaxed me forward to join him. "Do you know if your top or bottom?" he asked me with his lips touching mine again. I was caught out and had no idea and looked down "How do I know?" I replied and Eddie chuckled. "So innocent Tom, I doesn't matter" he said pulling me close to him again "your body will tell you what it needs most". I nodded and took a moment to look at his body again, his cock looked pretty big and almost the same size as mine except his was slightly wider and marginally longer, both erect and my seven and half inches ready for action. Eddie's face was so close against mine when I raised my head, our noses touching briefly before he kissed me and whispered 'Trust me Tom' again I nodded. His mouth closed in on mine and this time I slipped my tongue in to his mouth causing him to moan and spontaneously wrapping his arms around my body. There was no rush and Eddie allowed me to explore his body, stroking the light hair covering on his forearms the smoothness of his chest and the dark hair the lightly adorning his abdomen trailing down to his cock. My hand felt it, it was rock hard but also kind of soft, my fingers exploring every inch as he moaned softly and smiled all the time his hand gently caressing and stroking my back. "Why me?" I suddenly asked looking him in the eye "I mean I don't have tattoos or big muscles". Eddie kissed me "You are unique in your own way Tom, tattoos and muscle are not everything" he said. I kissed his neck "Really I..." his mouth covered mine before I could ask another question. Eddie stopped then looked at me "You have many charming qualities, you are also incredibly sexy Tom, you just don't know it". Eddie pulled me forward and I collapsed on top of him driven wild by urges to sex the hell out of him. His mouth seeking mine slowly and kissed me several times on the mouth, each time my mouth opening wider until we became joined at the mouth his tongue dancing around with mine. We rolled on to our sides locked together, my leg distinctly moved and rested over his leg. It was as if he was finely tuned to my bodies yearnings. I realised when he stopped the intimate kiss and raised his head I was laying underneath him and he was between my legs. I smiled up at him "How did I end up under you?" I asked sounding perplexed. Eddie kissed me "Your bodies instinct guided us both" he smiled and ran his finger across my lips "Trust me". Eddie seemed very in tune with me and responded to my reactions tenderly kissing me as if to assure me I would be safe and enjoy this. I felt myself letting go feeling his lips pressing against mine again gradually easing them apart and his tongue slipping in to my mouth. Moaning from pleasure he caressed my ass whilst kissing me I was beginning to feel comfortable and it felt right. His mouth slowly began working it's way down my body tantalisingly biting my nipples, his tongue working over my smooth chest and abdomen until he reached my aching cock. Tenderly he kissed and licked the shaft of my cock in long strokes with his tongue before his lips surrounded the head. My eyes opened wide and I gasped at the sensation that shot through my body. I wanted to scream but instead I bit my lower lip trying to control myself, my legs shaking at each new sensation, my body finally waking accepting the true pleasure of sex. His mouth work down my leg giving my body chance to adjust and stop shaking, twisting my legs over finding myself laying on my stomach I raised my head off the bed moaning as he bit playfully on my ass cheeks. I let out a shocked gasp unprepared for what happened next, his tongue probed at my ass hole a most unusual sensation washed over my body feeling the wet warmth. I was not prepared for this didn't know how to react, the more his tongue worked on me I began to feel even more aroused as though my body was telling me egging me on. He was silent moving and kissing my lower back, my ass felt wet from all the saliva he had left behind. His whole body moved up positioning his legs in between mine keeping them apart, his hot breath and kissing at my neck so deliberately delivered caused all my barriers to fall down and I was putty in his hands. Eddie leaned forward "Do you have a condom?" he asked me. I turned my head "No, I.." I don't know why I hesitated but I looked at him as if my eyes could speak. "Do you want it bareback?" he asked returning my gaze and seeing a blank look he asked "sex without a condom?". I don't know why but I nodded "Can we try it?" he kissed me on the mouth. "You must tell me if you want me to pull out before I cum though" he said and I nodded. My body was to anxious for sex to worry about anything, he leaned forward kissing my face and turning my head towards him until our lips could meet again. The look he gave me and the smile on his face melted my heart, I was also aware that his cock was rubbing along my hole. He never said a word, he kissed me then raised his hips and pushed with just enough pressure to allow the head of his cock to force it's way inside. I struggled and cried out at the pain, my ass felt like it had been ripped open but he steadied himself holding the head of his cock just inside 'are you okay?' he asked me lovingly, I nodded 'it hurts a bit' I replied, he kissed me 'tell if it gets to much for you' he said kissing me again. I could feel his cock partly inside me as he gave very small nudges, not enough to see but enough to feel, tiny movements that penetrated me that little deeper each time. I moaned and stifled my cry each time slowly an immense pleasure began to surface mixing in with the pain. His arms moved up either side of my head as more of his body touched mine, my hands grabbed hold of his and he squeezed them tightly pushing his hips down with more force as I let more of him enter in to me. I tried to raise my head but his shoulder was so close to my body I could only lift it several inches off the bed 'fuck' I cried my head collapsing back on the bed breathing heavily and squeezing hard against his hands in a vain attempt to release the pressure and pain. I turned my head and kissed his cheek 'Do it' I pleaded and his mouth covered mine kissing me deeper and stifling my cry as more of his cock penetrated my body. Each time it was painful but less so. Eddie was driving me crazy and I had no handle on what was taking over my body, I wanted to touch him, wanted him to fuck me. His arm secured around my neck holding my tightly as he forced the rest of the cock deep inside me, his kissing continued I felt nothing by intense pleasure surrendering my body to him, my free hand now gripping the bed sheets as if I was going to fall off a cliff face. I could feel every movement his cock made inside my ass exaggerated by the small but firm thrusts his hips were making as he held me still and kissed my neck 'do you want me to stop?' he asked 'please no' I emphatically replied. The adrenaline in my body fighting off any pain completely as I felt the freedom of making love with him. The sensation of his body laying on top of my back, his groin embedded so tight against my ass. The tell tell signs of him fucking me was the movement his ass muscles made with his entire cock deep inside me, it felt amazing. I wanted to scream to the world that I was fucking queer and getting fucked by this muscle stud, but my brain was computing and trying to make sense of everything it was receiving from my body. Suddenly I cried out banging my legs against the bed like a child having a tantrum then silence and my body jolted underneath him. Eddie had some idea what had happened as he could feel my ass clenching tight around his cock and he stopped moving. Eddie stopped "Are you okay Tom, Tom" I could hear the concern in his voice. I raised me head and turned then apologised "I'm so sorry I couldn't stop it, it just happened". Eddie laughed and kissed me "Did you cum already" he asked. I nodded "I'm sorry" I apologised again. Eddie stroked my head "Do you want me stop?". "No, just lay here with me for a moment" I asked of him afraid he would end it now. Eddie smiled and began kissing me again as I continued to lay underneath impaled on his cock. It was a nice kind of dominance he had over me and I felt so much enjoyment as my body began to relax. He knew and took the cue letting my body respond to him this time my ass pushing up meeting his thrusts downwards. He would stop and we would kiss then begin again, repeating this over and over for half an hour. He kissed my neck rapidly 'oh Tom' he whispered in to my ear then grunted and pushed down harder clenching his buttocks his cock seemed to jump inside me before I felt a warming sensation somewhere deep inside my body, his cock twitching several times shooting more seed in to my body, I moaned in excited pleasure feeling a man orgasm just became very real. Gradually I began to feel his entire body weight pressing down on me as he relaxed and kissed my neck, in some way that turned me on even more. He continued to kiss my neck and mouth until he wriggled his ass and began withdrawing his softening cock. Eddie rolled on to his back, I felt unable to move unsure if this was a state of shock of just immense pleasure, I laid there looking at Eddie who looked shaking his head 'Fuck Tom that was incredible', he pulled me towards him and kissed me much deeper than before. I laid there in his arm, my leg across his legs and my arm resting on his chest my hand playing with his nipple. I now knew what gay was being about and my hesitations at last had been freed by him. Eddie jumped up to take a shower his body glistening from sweat. Steve opened the door making lots of noise and poked his head in after I called out to him "Well?" he asked. I smiled "Amazing" I replied "just amazing". Steve laughed "Was it you know your first time?" he asked sitting next to me on the bed. Shyly I nodded and he patted me on the leg "Well you picked a good one" he giggled. "Sorry I made a bit of mess" I said standing up and putting clothes on. Steve stood up "I will help you clean up" he said as Eddie came out of the bathroom and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks Steve" he said. We cleaned and straightened the bed, it was still early so Eddie and I went off to grab some food then walked the few blocks to my hotel. I didn't really want Eddie to go so I invited him up to my room, he laughed and agreed but told me outright no more sex tonight as my ass is going to be sore tomorrow. We got in to my hotel room and straight away Eddie pulled me in to his arms and kissed me long and deep. "Anything else you would like to explore my sexy boy" he asked. I nervously giggled "Can I you know" I nodded down at his cock. He kissed me chuckling "You want to blow me?" he said kissing my neck. "Yeah" I replied squeezing his ass. We undressed quickly and kissed standing their naked again. This time he held my head in his hands and kissed me very sensually, his hands gradually moved to my shoulders and I felt him push me down gently forcing me to sink to my knees facing his erect cock. Raising a hand I held his cock admiring it for a few moments before I felt his hand on the back of my head pulling me towards it, Eddie looked down at me 'use your lips gently around the head' he began guiding me. To some relief as I wasn't sure where to start 'holy fuck' Eddie giving a sharp intake of his breath as my lips surrounded the head of his cock. Every so often he would pull my head forward slightly so I got more of his cock in my mouth 'use your tongue' he instructed in a wobbly voice. I could see he was struggling with something, little did I know that Eddie was trying not to cum through his own excitement and desire. As soon as my tongue swirled around the head of Eddie's cock his other hand clasped and held my head still, my eyes nearly bulged as my mouth filled with warm slightly acrid and salty tasting fluid, pulse after pulse filling my mouth, choking and accidentally swallowing some of it I ran to the bathroom and spat it out retching down the toilet. Eddie came in and made sure I was alright "Here drink some water" he handed me a glass. I sat on the bathroom floor taking the glass my yes watering "Thanks" I said and Eddie sat down beside me. "Enough experiences for one night I think Tom" he said holding my hand. I rested my head back against the tiled wall and looked at him "Does that mean your going?" I asked. Eddie put his arm around my shoulder "Well that depends if your throwing me out". "No" I quickly replied "I mean will you stay the night?" I asked nervously. "Of course, I am pleased you asked me to" he replied leaning over and kissing me. I looked up at the ceiling and burst out laughing "I guess blow jobs take some getting use to". Eddie laughed and stood up then heaved me in to his arms and carried me to the bedroom laying me down on the bed. He loved holding me close to him and I never left his arms all night, we slept cuddled together, he stroked my chest as I ran my hand along his arm squeezing his muscles. I could have laid there for eternity in his arms, his gentle caressing of my chest soon had me drifting off in to an amazing sleep. The chiming on my phone woke me from my sleep struggling at first I felt trapped then saw the tattoos on his arm and remembered I was in bed with Eddie. I silenced the alarm and twisted my body round but Eddie pulled me on top of him and kissed me ever so sweetly 'Morning sexy' he said continuing his small kisses against my lips. Eddie jumped in a taxi explaining it was better if we kept this to ourselves and Steve. I nodded agreeing with him, some things are best kept quiet and I wasn't really ready for the world to know my business. I would always be grateful to Eddie for giving me that one special night. That wasn't the end of Eddie though, one night was just not enough and as our friendship developed so did our sex, Eddie allowed me to explore with his body and try things. It was through the exploration that I got to know what he liked to do in bed, mostly fucking me in case you were wondering, but also and more importantly he allowed me to discover myself. He never pushed or demanded I do things I wasn't comfortable with. There were times when I wasn't up for exploring and just enjoyed getting laid by him. There was one thing Eddie told me that first night we were together that made so much sense 'You can truly only enjoy sex once you have mastered your own body and for that you need to start with exploration. Only then can your partner understand and pleasure you sexually'. I arrived at Manon International somewhat conscious that I wasn't walking weird as fuck my ass hurt, he certainly wasn't kidding but it made me laugh thinking maybe I should have started with something smaller, on the downside I wouldn't have seen the sexual side of Eddie. The fact that he was considerate and it wasn't all about him and what he wanted was quite a blessing, he let me go slowly, was very tender and patient with me. It was already hustle and bustle people running around frantically, doing what I have no idea, but it wasn't my drama then it dawned on me that some designer was making an appearance. Steve grinned at me from his desk "The Model Called Tom has arrived in the building" he stood up saluting me. "Behave" I said leaning over his desk poking him in the ribs. He leaned forward "Did you spend the night together?" he asked me. I smiled "Why would you think that?" I answered with a question. Steve chuckled "He was wearing the same clothes. I just gave him some clothes to change in to" he replied. "Lunchtime, lets grab something" I suggested to him "Really?" he smiled "That would be great, thanks Tom" he seemed genuinely surprised and happy. "Dude, you just used my real name" I laughed. "Don't get use to it, Studio A Tom" he said "oh and Patty is with Jacob already" Steve nodded to her office. Eddie shot me a smile and wink when I walked in to the studio. I changed behind the screen in the studio and could hear voices from a man who had entered the studio with Patricia, from what I could hear the guy didn't appear to be happy. Eddie popped his head around the screen 'come on bud we haven't got all day' he said to me as I finished buttoning the shorts up 't-shirt off sexy' he said quietly disappearing then reappearing poking his head around the screen 'fucking sexy' he mouthed and disappeared again round the other side.

Part XII When the black guy rammed in to skinhead, I felt skinhead's cock go even deeper in to my ass. Skinhead tried to get away from the monster dick impaling him and I was afraid he would pull his cock out of me so I grabbed his hips so he couldn't pull out. Unintentionally I was making it easier for the black guy to fuck him, but since skinhead is not much bigger than me the 6'6" muscled black adonis had no trouble holding him in place and fucking him hard. Soon skinhead was groaning, eyes closed, but in pleasure not pain. And every time black guy thrust in to skinhead's ass, skinheads cock thrust in to mine, and I was in heaven. I looked over skinhead's shoulder and caught black guy's eyes. "Don't worry, I still want your ass later" he said. The thought of getting fucked by him turned me on so much that I started to cum, harder than I have ever cum before, all over my chest and my face. The feeling was so intense I was crying out "fuck, fuck, I'm cumming!" "Fuck yeah!" groaned the black guy thrusting even harder in to skinhead. I could tell he was cumming in skinhead, and skinhead obviously felt it because his eyes shot open and he started to yelp too. I could feel his cock grow even larger in my ass and then my ass felt warm and slick with his cum. It seemed like time stood still for a moment, as we all came back down to earth. I felt the cum leaking from my ass and instead of grossing me out it actually turned me on. It did cross my mind how quickly I had forgotten all about condoms, and how dangerous this could be, but I was so blissed out from my first, amazing fuck that I didn't really care.

I walked into the fast food restaurant and saw a beautiful young stud standing in line to order. He looked to be 5'9" about 175 - 180 lbs, dirty blond hair, well tanned wearing a t-shirt with the sides cut out and short soccer shorts. West HS soccer was plastered on his shirt and he had a great funk/smell. I figured he had been at practice. The cashier started taking his order and obviously knew him. I learned he was a senior and had just turned 18. He paid then moved to the beverage fountain. I ordered my food and then went to get my drink. I looked up and our eyes meet. I looked at his crotch and then back up at his eyes. He had a nevus grin and looked away. I assumed it was a lost cause but after getting my drink I spoke to him saying he must be really hungry after practice. He smiled and said yes and it had been a hard practice. He seemed to be more comfortable after a few minutes of conversation. They called his number and he left with his food to go. I got my food and went and sat down thinking damn it would have been nice to see him naked or at least shirtless. I'm 50 years old and have been in the closet all my life and just recently started to come "out" of my shell. I have sucked a few dicks but that's it. I would have loved to suck him off. As I am dreaming I look up and he is standing in front of me. He asked if he could sit down and I said of course (must have been 8 empty tables around). He sits down and says his car wont start and he was going to need a jump start. I said after we eat I could help. We talked about his car and he said he guessed he need to take better care of it. I smiled and said you need to take care of more than your car and he laughed a nevus laugh. As we walked out I made it a point to bump into him. We went to his car and I said it was probably more than the battery after he told me he had jumped it a couple times. So I said we could try or I could have it towed and have my mechanic fix it for him. He said I cant afford that I don't have the money. I smiled and told him it was no problem and pointed to my Ferrari 458. I hear a slow damn under his breath and before he can say anything else I called AAA told them wear to take the car and tossed him the keys and said lets go I'll take you home. He was like really I can drive it. We get in and I showed him all the features. Then I say so you know the way home you can head that way or you can turn left and we can go to my place. Maybe take car of you if you like, you know hot tub or pool. The ball was in his court. I held my breath and low and behold he turned left. We talked about the 458 on the way to my house but once we arrived I asked if you wanted to sit in the tub and offered a drink. He said I didn't bring my bag so I have nothing to change into. I smiled and said just wear your underwear and then free ball in your shorts afterwords. He then told me he was already free balling, as we approached the tub he pulled off his shirt and tossed it aside and ask if he could use the restroom ass he needed to piss. I decided to go for the gold and said no he couldn't use the toilet but I would be happy to take care of him. I got a look of shock and he said what. I dropped to my knees and pulled off my shirt and opened my mouth. He asked if I was serious and I said hell yes. He shyly walked up and pulled out his cock and a few minutes later he let loose a beautiful stream off piss. I drank as much as I could and he made sure to spray my face and chest as well. As he was finishing I leaned in and took his cock in my mouth to get the last few drops. He tried to pull away but I grabbed his hips and held him in place while I started sucking him. It didn't take long and I was rewarded with a huge thick load of great tasting cum. After I cleaned him up I looked up and asked if his girlfriend would have done that. He said shit no, she wont even touch it, she wants us to wait. I asked if he like it and he said hell yes so I moved him to the deck chair and started sucking again. I sucked him for about 10 to 15 minutes, listening to him moan. About half way through he put his hands on my head and pulled me deeper. Then a few minutes later I hear fuck! fuck! fuck! take my load bitch as he shot his load in my mouth for the second time. After I had cleaned him up I asked if he wanted to get in the tub to relax or did he want me to take him home. He then told me he had texted his mom while I was sucking him and told her his car broke down and he was staying with a friend. Then he said he would rather I just suck him some more. I asked if he would rather take a old mans virginity because if he was game my ass was his. He just looked at me for a minute and said if my ass was as good as my mouth he was in. This was my first time doing this so please be kind. For the record the part in the fast food joint happened except for him coming back in. He was one hot piece of ass. If you like it I will continue sharing my dreams :)

24 very sub bottom here. Tonight I got to serve to men at the same time for the time. They are partners and both tops. I asked if I should bring condoms. They said they had some. I get there and start to suck one of them off. Eventually I move to his partner who is uncut. I hear the first guy RIP a condom open and lube up. I'm getting my head held and face fucked. The guy fucking me is making lots of body contact but I can feel one arm reaching down towards his cock. Im worried he is going soft and will try to remove the condom. All I have to do is reach back and check. I knew i should, but I kept my arms down and my lips wrapped around the uncut dick. In a few minutes i feel it. The unmistakable throbbing of a penis and my ass filling with its cum. In a couple minutes I swallow his boyfriend. After I left I asked if he bred me and he said the condom slipped off as he was pulling out and hes sorry if he did.

78 loads in my ass in 2019 so far. Not tested yet

Yesterday morning I went to a new tops house. He looks Arabic, really handsome, wanted to feed his dick to a hungry cocksucker. That’s me. Smacked my face with his big cut cock, mouthfucked me some, kicked back on the couch for me to tongue his balls and deepthroat the meat. He stood up again and said, you want it on your face or tongue. I had barely said both when he let loose all over my face and tongue. It hit so hard it splattered all over me and I still got a mouthful of that bleachy spooge. He wants me to cum back and suck him off with a buddy. I’m in.

I like to go from hole to hole in sex clubs and maybe only cum twice or three times. Often I lose track of the holes I’ve been in, sometimes using the same hole twice.

Traveling with work and got to the hotel late around 10pm. Black guy on grindr, 38, 6'1", 195, 8" dick, hits me up no pic. Says he looks like Michael Jordan and doesn't send pics. Says he's 10 mins away. Asked him if he's into bb and fucking me anon ass up face down. He said yes. He messages when he gets to the hotel and I give room number, put a blindfold on waiting ass up face down. After 30 minutes of pounding he breeds me. Never saw him. While waiting for the first guy to get here got hit up by a 22yr old white guy, 6'1", 180, 8" dick....and hot. Exchanged face pics, etc. He asked about poppers, safe or bb. I said bb. He said he's 15 minutes away and is on the way. Other guy left 15 mins before he gets here. He comes in hot guy, tall, tshirt, jeans and cowboy boots. Strips down, already hard and I start sucking him. Soon I'm on the bed doggy style and he's behind, lubes up and inserts his dick. After a slow start he picks up the pace and starts pounding me for 15-20 minutes. I could tell he was getting close and I told him to breed me breed that fuckhole. Within a minute or two he releases and I feel him cum inside me. As he stands up i begin to suck him off for a few seconds. He cleans up in the bathroom dresses and leaves. Nice feeling with 2 loads back to back still inside and now headed to sleep.

Sunday started with giving a short stocky guy a blow in the morning around 10:30. He came in my mouth within five minutes. He was sucking my cock and eating my ass for quite a while after he came but I wanted to keep it for later. Hoping for more fun. Just after I had got back I heard from hot 23 year old vers guy with the most beautiful dirty blond curly hair. Total hottie. He started flirting with me and we chatted some before I went and did some work. Then a couple hours later he's asking to come over. I tell him to come on by. I'm game. He is so fucking cute and nice meaty dick too. I rarely fuck men as I prefer bottom but he hard me so hard and had the hottest fucking buns. Soft and full. And his hole was like sunshine. I ate his hole and then slid my cock in him. He was loving it. He loves cock in his ass. After a few minutes I pulled out and then got up on top and slid over his young hard dick. He opened me up and soon I was riding him for his cum. We flipped another time and then I told him to cum in me. He got me on my back and slid in and fucked me until he shot his load inside. Crazy hot fuck. Hoping for more of him. Later that evening I got together with my regular fuckbud. Hadn't seen him in a long while and we made up for it. He fucked me long and deep and deposited the second load of the day in my hole. Then he went to town fucking me again. Great fuck but no 2nd load from him. Real good. Fun day

That is Exactly what I Expect, to be Fucked Bareback by Random Strangers pumping their Hard Cock in and out of my hole. I know not every Cock that enters my ass will shoot its load but I Welcome ALL. It's always hot to do a blindfold scene but a regular fuck buddy is gonna make certain that I get fucked and creamed often. But any relationship with me is Open and Honest and my ass will be backed up to a gloryhole and take ALL Loads.

I like my cumdump naked or just a jockstrap .makes them more of a breeding animal than a person

Again, every post of mine is 100% real. After a disappointing encounter with a very small dicked white guy. A well endowed BBC hits me up and wants me to come to his motel. He wants dressed up as a girl though. Well it’s my wife’s birthday and I really didn’t have the time but I’m not gonna turn down a BBC. So I put my dress, panties, heels etc on while I drive to his motel. When I arrived I had to walk quite a distance to get to his room. Once inside I drop to my knees and start sucking his beautiful cock. He’s smoking weed as I deepthroat his entire length. After a few he has me get on the bed and spread my ass for him and he enters me from behind. He’s going in and pulling all the way out. Making my hole gape. He slow fucks me for a bit then had me get back in my knees and suck him some more. Again after a few minutes he tells me to get back on the bed and open my ass. This time he fucks me hard and fast and as he shoots up my slutty ass he pulls out and finishes shooting on my gaping hole letting the cum run into my wide open hole. I do the walk of shame with some cum on my leg as I walk in my stilettos to my vehicle

Boner achieved

3. One more layby visit or not? It's Friday lunchtime and my only gay co-worker, Matty and I went to the park to soak up the Summer sun and check out other cute guys stripped down catching the rays. We sit on the browned grass and slowly eat our sandwiches. Matty leans over and says, “Wow, eyes right to the guy in those skimpy white shorts, he is making me so horny that I’ve got a wet patch in my pants already and the beauty of it is he doesn’t even know it. I could go and pounce on him right now!” "Well, you’re always telling me you're horny, so nothing new there!" All too soon we have to pack up our lustful ogling and return to work and as we swipe back in I tell Matty, “I’ll catch you in a mo, I need to pee” but all he does is laugh and follows me into bathroom…although there are three brilliant white urinals Matty stands next to me, so we piss next to each other. Matty and me might be the only gays in the office but we have never tried anything on between us so I was surprised to see his big white cock pissing whilst hard from his lunchtime fantasy. He of course caught me watching and must have thought that was permission to go further as he then he put his hand inside of my trouser waistband and started to push his finger into my puffy hole. “Oh! Wow! Who’s been a lucky bitch getting fucked hard to end up with a hole like that? I gave him a knowing smile and pushed him off telling him we should behave, I can't afford to get fired. This little interaction made me feel horny too and I longed to be filled by my new best friends. The afternoon dragged. I couldn’t concentrate on work as my mind kept drifting off wondering how the hell have I become hocked on public sex, bareback sex and more worryingly wanting POZ cum ALL the time? If only my fellow workers knew what a dirty Slut was amongst them. Finally, the working day ended and I made the sweatbox journey on the tube back home with the only highlight being; strap hanging, my ass pressed up hard against a cute older guy whose hot breath was on my neck and whose sweet cologne I inhaled and as the tube train jumped on the tracks my butt rubbed against his groin and I swear I felt his cock stirring…but sadly he snuck out at the very next stop. By the time I eventually got through my front door I was sweaty, hot, horny and frustrated but soon forgot about that as I noticed something in the letter box. A scribbled note, ‘come to the layby tonight at 7:30 I have surprises for you’ “Damn it” I thought out loud, having vowed not to go back there again…but as I read it through again my hole and cock did the thinking for me as I stripped off got in the shower and began to make sure my hole was squeaky clean for whatever Kyle and co. had in mind. At 7:30pm it is still light and despite the undergrowth and trees anyone would be visible if they were engaged in any action, but here I am sitting in my car waiting for my surprises…I don’t have to wait long before I see Kyle, Renton & Jay pull up, get out and head in to the wooded area. I get out and follow...as you do. Surprise 1 is a wooden bar has been screwed between two trees: “Strip” I hear Kyle say and without thinking I comply, just leaving my trainers on, feeling liberated being naked outdoors and possibly on view to any passing cars. “Bend over the bar” is the instruction and no sooner had I obeyed than I my arms and legs were bound in place leaving me at the mercy of Jay and Renton who quickly took up positions to spit roast me hammering hard and fast as they made out above me until the inevitable Poz cum injections. As they withdrew I felt Kyle’s hand slap my right butt cheek, “tighten that hole and get ready for my cock and cum” just as his blunt bell end nudged my winking hole I squeezed my ass muscles tight, pushed out and squeezed again until a bubble of cum popped out. I could feel Kyle smear the cum around my ass lips and then plunged in, balls deep, in one go, he slapped my ass again, my instruction to squeeze down tight again gripping his rock-hard flesh buried in my guts. In this bent over position Kyle was getting in deeper than before, his long black cock reaching parts no one had got to before, his thighs slapping mine and his musky sweat dripping down on my back. I was in a World of my own, it felt like heaven being filled by him and pumped by him, just Kyle’s cock with my hole gripped tightly around it . Then he started to pound me harder until I heard, “Bro, you’ve got to tap this ass. It’s so hungry that it’s milking my cock throughout this entire fuck.” Kyle quickened his pace, thrusts in deeper than he had ever been inside before, then shouts out loud, “FUCK YEAH! Bitch, take my CHARGED LOAD!” I distinctly felt his cock thicken, twitch, his balls rammed up tight against my hole pump their payload but his cock is so deep that’s all I felt. He rips his cock out move around to my head and simply says, “Clean it” I hungrily slurp on his glistening dark meat until it’s squeaky clean savoring the taste of cum and ass slime but surprisingly no blood this time. “Not bad for a white boy” I hear, “D’ya think he can handle this?” and I feel something fleshy slap my ass. “Only one way to find out” Kyle says “Then he’d better get sucking my cock hard and then we’ll see how much of my 10.5 inches I can slam up his pearly white cunt?” Without any hesitation I opened my mouth in readiness as the mystery man moved around in front of me; a black muscly man-mountain with all 7.5” of semi-hard nasty looking cock; his pre-cum looked cummy, a creamy white that he smeared around my lips then edged the tip into my waiting mouth and, was that blisters on his shaft? I think I saw as it swiftly reached the back of my throat and, as he pulled back, he said, “Take a deep breath in when I start to push back into your mouth cocksucker.” He then grabbed my head between his two beefy black hands and pushed his cock back in, “Get ready to deep throat my cock slut” Not waiting for an answer, he kept a steady force as the cock slid easily into until it plugged throat, stopping the air almost making my eyes pop out of my head. “Almost there cock whore, only about another inch or so to go”, I felt light-headed and began to go limp through lack of oxygen as just in time the snake like cock withdrew just enough for me gulp in some urgently needed air in to my lungs before the second assault. I felt the hardening cock go deeper this time as prickly pubes just tickled the end of my nose as the growing cock plunges further down my throat. Knowing I was going to need air he pulled back just enough allowing me to inhale and fill my lungs with fresh air before he pushed all the way back in, “Swallow whitey boy, keep swallowing” I complied as best I could until fully impaled his pubes were mashed into my nose making my throat muscles pulse around the steel-like flesh jammed down my gullet. The man was in heaven as he felt his gono dripping cock spill directly into this cock sucker's stomach as his cock reached it’s full length and hardness. “God damn it boy, you took all 10 plus inches and now I’m ready to fuck” Slowly he pulled his hard, dripping cock from my throat, barely giving me anytime to catch my raggedy breath as he walked around behind me and without wasting a second, quickly lined his cock up with my cummy hole and was balls deep in one oh so long thrust. I had no time to prepare for this plowing his long dick in before pulling almost all the way back and thrusting back in deeper this time making me grunt and moan as he got deeper dragging my ass lips inwards, almost turning my hole inside out! Each deep thrust was a unique mix of pain, pressure and pleasure, “Oooh, aaahhh, mmm” was all I could uncontrollably mutter until he said, “You ready for whole length now?” I froze momentarily as what he said sunk in and before I could say “What or YES” The mystery man pushed his hips violently forward, I felt some type of popping in my stomach, “FUCK!!!” I screamed, his huge cock felt so good as it reached deep in me somewhere where no cock has reached before and my entire body was shaking uncontrollably with pleasure…my cock started to shoot, spraying a massive load of cum, an endless supply as he kept on popping the length of his cock in and out of this new place deep inside my guts. Each thrust causing me to cry out, “Oh God YES, Fuck YES” and “Please don’t stop fucking me.” As sweat, tears and cum dripped from every pore as I moaned, shivered and whimpered in sheer pleasure. To bring me back to reality he squeezed my butt cheeks his buttocks whilst also running my hands up and down his upper thighs, telling me to relax, slapped me few times as he started to move his cock in and out at greater speed and power grunting as he did so. He then gripped my waist tightly and said loudly; “The thought of my strain of HIV destroying you is turning me on boy for you to share, just like my boys here do.” “Yes Sir. I NEED to be infected. I WANT YOUR GIFT.” “Gifts boy, I’ve got a little something extra to help you on your way. You definitely want it? “Yes!” “Then BEG for it pig” as he rams in harder than before. I give a strangled “Arrgh!” then add, “PLEASE….infect….me…..” I’m hanging on as he power fucks so hard it’s knocking the wind out of me. “Infect you with what whitey boy? “Your GIFTS Sir” “You mean you want my highly toxic Poz cum, Gono and Hep C and Herpes embedded in your system, changing you for LIFE as they replicate through your body, destroying your soul?” “Oh fuck” is all I can say as I shoot another massive load. Is it the dirty talk, the actual act or the onslaught on my prostate? I don’t know or care anymore. All I know is my love muscle is spasming around his deathstick, dancing up and down the entire length trying to milk his dick for all the nasty bugs it can get. “Then Beg whitey.” I said “Fucking BEG.” “PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.” And my hungry ass clamped down hard on his dick, he rammed in hard, thighs and balls smashed into my ass….I saw stars as pain deep inside me exploded in eye popping fashion and then I felt this hard lump of toxic fuck weapon arch up and down I my guts as a soothing torrent of diseased cum put out the fire in my belly and I slumped forwards, sweat drenched, limp and totally exhausted. Kyle, Jay and Renton couldn’t tell if the moans I was making came form pain of pleasure, nor did they much care as I heard them High-Five Elliot as I heard his name for the first time. Eventually I had a slap on the ass and the ‘snake’ slithered out of my destroyed hole. “Fuck Elly, you done did a great job this time, look at all that blood on you dick” It was the last thing I heard as I blacked out and the next thing know as I come to is my arsehole is sore beyond words, I’m cold, it’s dark and I’m slumped in the driver’s seat of my car. I gingerly drive home, drag my sorry body in to bed and collapse into the welcoming darkness of sleep.

I've often been surprised over the years how many guys cheat on their boyfriends or partners - and even more so by how many of them are willing to do it bareback. A few months ago I posted a story about an experience I had when I watched a friend in a committed relationship let two guys fuck him bareback and cum in his arse in a darkroom in Munich. A lot of people liked that story so I thought I would post a few more of the experiences I've had where the guy has been cheating on his boyfriend and some of the experiences when I cheated on my long term partner. For obvious reasons, I've changed all the names.... A couple of years ago I was invited to a friend's 40th birthday party in Scotland. I didn't think I would be able to go as I had to work but at the last minute I was able to get the time off. The friends I usually stay with has other people staying with them and they suggested that, rather than try to book a hotel at the last minute I could stay with friends of theirs, a couple named David and Ryan. I had met David and Ryan quite a few times although I didn't know either of them well. They belonged to a group of friends I knew had very strong views on things like monogamy and safe sex. I had heard this group of friends being very disapproving of cheating and even more so of barebacking. David especially had very strong views on all these things and was not slow to voice them. Ryan was quieter but generally seemed to agree with his partner. I travelled up early on the Saturday morning and arrived around lunch time. David and Ryan occupied a one bedroom flat and I was to sleep on a sofa bed in the living room. David was a bit of a bear, in his late 30s and his partner Ryan was a few years younger. We met some other friends for drinks in the afternoon and then got ready for the party in the evening which was being held at a hotel in the centre of town. It was a good party I enjoyed it. We got home quite late and I was in no rush to get up the next morning. Ryan and David were going out in the morning and then David was going to work in the afternoon and Ryan had offered to run me to the airport. I got up, had some breakfast and then had a shower. I was feeling really horny and began to play with myself in the shower. I knew Ryan and David wouldn't be back for a couple of hours so when I had finished showering I went on line to see if I could find someone for a quick local hook up. The first guy I chatted to was a twink who was up for being fucked and was happy to do it bb but was looking for someone nearer his own age. The next guy was Joel, a really fit mixed race guy in his early 30s who wanted a quick fuck on his way home from the gym and seemed genuinely interested in meeting up with me. He sent me pictures of his big thick cock and told me he wanted to fuck me and cum in my arse. I was really horny now - I hadn't been fucked for a while and I needed to be fucked and fucked hard. The problem was he had a partner and couldn't accommodate. I knew I shouldn't but I was just too horny - so I gave him the postcode of Ryan and David's flat and told him to text me when he was outside. About 20 minutes later he arrived and he was every bit as good looking as his pictures. I wasted no time in getting his pants down and soon his big thick cock was in my mouth. I sucked him for a while and then turned him around so that I could lick his arse. His hole was quite hairy and I pushed my tongue right up him. It was time to fuck and soon I was lubed and bent over the settee as Joel pushed his big thick cock right up my arse. It felt incredible - I had not had a cock that big up my arse for a while. He pushed his cock right up me and gave me a moment to get used to it before he began to fuck me slowly. It was the best fuck I'd had for a long time - he started slowly and then built up until he was banging my arse really hard with his big thick cock and I knew he was getting close. I knew I shouldn't really be doing this in Ryan and David's flat but I thought they wouldn't be back for another hour or so and figured they would never know. Joel was breathing heavily now and before long he pushed his cock right up my arse and held it there, groaning loudly as he pumped my arse full of cum. He seemed to cum for ages and then he slumped forward over me. It was then I realised we had an audience - Ryan and David were standing in the doorway. I could see from David's face that he wasn't happy and he turned away just as Joel started pulling out my arse. Ryan had also turned to leave but he looked back into the room just Joel pulled his cock out and then followed his partner into the kitchen. I had been caught with my pants down! When Joel had left I pulled my pants up and went into the kitchen and apologised. I said I hadn't meant to abuse their hospitality and I was sorry. David said "It's fine, forget it." I could see that he was far from happy though and the atmosphere was distinctly frosty as we had lunch together. After lunch David went off to work and, as I was starting to get my stuff together, Ryan came into the room. "You ok?" he said. I said I was fine and said "I'm sorry about earlier on." Ryan grinned and said "It's fine, really. David has very strong views on all that sort of thing - I'm a bit more liberal." He was silent for a moment and then said "Actually, I thought it was quite horny." I was looking out of the window as Ryan said "That guy wasn't wearing a condom, was he?" I said no he wasn't and Ryan grinned. He moved closer to me and soon his arms were round me and he was kissing my neck. "Do you like to fuck bareback?" he whispered and I nodded. His hands were on the waistband of my trousers now and, still kissing the back of my neck, he slowly pulled my trousers and pants down and bent me over the settee. I bent forward as I heard Ryan slip his pants down and soon his cock was pushing against my arse. I spread my legs and soon he was pushing up my cum filled arse. "Oh fuck..." he moaned as his cock went right up me and he began to fuck. I was beyond horny now - I had always thought Ryan was quite fit and I had never thought in a million years that I would end up bent over the settee with him fucking me bareback while his partner was at work. Ryan fucked me hard and fast and after a short time he told me he was going to cum. I told him to go for it and seconds later Ryan was shooting his cum deep into my arse. We were both out of breath when Ryan pulled out and he mopped his brow with his T shirt. He kissed me and then I went down on his cock and sucked him for a while. He pulled me up and kissed me again. I thought that would be us finished but soon his hand was on my cock again. "Do you like to fuck?" he asked. I nodded and he took me by the hand and led me into the bedroom. Soon he was kneeling up on the bed and my tongue was up his fit arse. I licked him for a while and then he passed me some lube. When he was lubed I pushed my cock against his hole and he moaned. My cock slid up him easily and I began fuck him bareback - right there on the bed he shared with his partner. He was moaning softly as I began to fuck him harder. I knew I wasn't going to last much longer and I told him I was going to cum in his arse. "Fuck yeah...." he moaned as I began to shoot what felt like a massive load of cum deep into his cheating arse. A little later, Ryan drove me to the airport and we swapped numbers. I have met up with Ryan a few times since and each time we've enjoyed some horny unprotected sex, with his boyfriend none the wiser. The next experience I had with a cheating guy was also in Scotland. I was staying in a hotel in the centre of Glasgow one Friday evening and I hooked up on line with a fit guy in his mid 30s. He was out drinking with colleagues after work and was horny to be fucked. When we were chatting he said I had to use a condom as he had a partner. When he turned up he was even better looking than his pictures suggested. He had come from work and was smartly dressed in a shirt and dark trousers - very horny! We sucked each other for a while and then I bent him over the bed and licked his arse. When it came time to fuck him he never mentioned condoms so I fucked him bb and shot a nice big load into him. Afterwards we chatted and he told me he had been with his partner for seven years. He said he had never cheated until a couple of years ago when his car had been off the road and he had to take the bus into the city to work. He had looked up the times, got up early and gone for the bus. A dark haired Polish guy with a tool bag was standing at the bus stop. He said he realised the guy was cruising him almost immediately and soon they were in a wooded area behind the bus stop and he was sucking the guy's cock. He ended up leaning against a tree with his pants down as the Polish guy fucked him bareback and shot a load of cum into his arse. He told me he had felt guilty but also really turned on - and about six months later he was staying in a hotel on business and got chatting to two guys at the bar and ended up going back to their room where they both fucked him and loaded up his arse. He said he tries to play safe when he cheats but every now and then he enjoys taking a load up his arse. I sucked him off and then he pulled up his pants and went off home to his partner - a big load of cum deep in his arse. Later that year I was at a friend's Christmas drinks party and I was introduced to a guy called Marek. We had a lot in common as we both worked in the same field and we got on well. I liked Marek a lot and I got the feeling he was interested in me. He told me his partner was away for the weekend visiting family and so he was flying solo. A little later we started chatting again and I was sure he was coming on to me. He lived not far from me and so I offered him a lift home. As we drove home one thing led to another and we ended up back at my house. Marek was not really my usual type, he was tall and thin, and very hairy. For some reason this turned me on and soon we were in my bedroom and I was sucking his cock. I sucked him for a while and then licked his hairy balls. I sucked his cock again and then turned him round so I could lick his arse. He had a really hairy hole and he loved me licking it. He was moaning and pushing his arse back into my face as I pushed my tongue as far up his hole as I could and he told me he didn't get that at home. He told me he really wanted me to fuck him but I would have to use a condom as he wanted to protect himself and his partner. I said I had run out of condoms but he said it was ok - he had one and he produced it. I didn't really want to use the condom but I did really want to fuck him so I put it on and pushed my cock up his arse. He was really tight and it took me a few minutes to get my cock right up him. I began to fuck him and, although I didn't really enjoy wearing the condom and wasn't sure I would be able to cum with it on, he was doing amazing things to my cock with his tight arse and soon I got into my stride and began to fuck him harder. I was really into it now - his arse was one of the tightest I had ever fucked and soon I was enjoying every minute of the fuck - it didn't feel like I was wearing a condom at all. We were both really into it now and soon I was shooting my cum into his arse. When I pulled out we both saw that the condom had split - it was completely wrecked. I hadn't cum for about seven days and I knew I had shot a really big load into him. We now both knew that big load had gone right up his arse. He looked shocked and really worried. After a few moments he shrugged and said "Oh well, I suppose these things happen." A little to my surprise, he told me his partner was a way for another few days and asked me if I fancied meeting up for lunch the following day. We met up, had a good lunch and ended up back at my house again. We kissed, sucked and rimmed each other until we were both horny to fuck and he knelt up on the bed. I waited for him to produce the condom and, realising what I was waiting for, he shrugged and said "Look, you've already cum up me once, you don't need to bother with a condom." I pushed my bare cock right up him and began to fuck. This fuck was even better than the first one and Marek also seemed to be even more into it. He was also more verbal - telling me to fuck him harder and moaning for me to cum in his arse. I shot another big load into him. I suspected from the fact that he had condoms with him that he had gone to the party with the intention of hooking up with someone. But I found it very horny that he had started off making sure he was protecting himself and his partner and had ended up fucking bareback and moaning for me to cum in his arse. Part 2 to follow

Part 1 - The Early Years There are two things in life I found I liked from a young age, reading and keeping a journal. Books were my everything at a young age since they kept me out of harms way and blissfully ignorant to everything that went on around me. Was I a sensitive child, pretty much so but also very impressionable with an erratic behavioural pattern that surfaced when least expected. Secondly my journal, I discovered I had a flair for writing growing up. It was a way of expressing my thoughts and frustrations, but also secrets. Some were not my own to hold but I became the keeper of them without any one knowing. So the impressionable part of me very much shaped my upbringing, sometimes life can cause things to happen that you never thought possible or needed until they presented themselves. My life was complicated from a very young age, some would say in a bad way, others would say it was destiny and things happened for a reason. I also had two people who played a very instrumental part in my life, one from a young age who would be by my side as we grew up then leave and come back in to my life when you believe there is no hope of finding a true path to happiness. The other person trusted his intuition about me and helped me become the confident assured person I am today. When you stand at a fork in the path and can't decide weather to go left or right, you simply go down the middle and to hell with it. Yes it will upset some people but it will force them to show their true colours and love you no matter what, hopefully that is. So who am I you may ask, you have probably seen me but never knew what lay behind the page or billboard since I keep my life very private. It doesn't matter how famous you become, the one thing you learn is never trust anyone on face value as information is power and the last thing you need is someone having power over you. That way you keep control of your life and protect those you love and hold dear to you. But I will tell you this, my name is Tom and that is what I prefer, annoyingly my mother still insists on calling me Thomas when she is mad at me and Tommy when she is doting me. I am a 24 year old rustic blond so I have been told by photographers. At five feet nine inches tall or short depending how tall you are, I have what was described to me as the most finely sculpted face and body. Now I don't assume myself to be attractive by any means, after all I just see Tom in the mirror who is an ordinary Texan lad. But all of that will reveal itself. So I will tell you the secrets about me that my journal holds but in a way for you to understand me better and how I ended up here. The problem with me is that I lived through my journal and held things in there that could have destroyed lives and nearly did as you can never predict how a person would react. That happened when I was 20 but it changed my life in a way I never thought possible. Should I have been more careful to hide identities instead of blatantly writing them down to be discovered? Yes, but then what? Wouldn't I be living a life full of lies or where I am now. I will start were things really began to shape my life in a way I had no control over and that was when I turned 8 years old, it started when my parents finally split up. I cried and screamed as my mother dragged me out of the house and placed me in the car with our belongings, at such a young age I had no idea why this was happening and being taken away from my father. I knew they argued and understood that their marriage was in ruins and she had to break free, but I never realised it would involve taking me with her. It's not your fault Tommy she would always tell me, but my father had put up with enough of her hard work ethic leaving him to look after me albeit I was a little out of control. I loved my father but also liked to play him up as much as possible by throwing tantrums usually when mother was out of town on business and father had his bit on the side over, he never suspected that I knew what was going on. I was an only child desperate for a sibling but that was not going to happen now. We must have drove some 50 miles to the large town where my mother worked, little did I know then that she was also seeing another man and that had become serious. Seth as it turned out was a few years older than my mother, at 30 he had dirty blond hair and stood an impressive six feet and still retained a muscular jock build from his school days, he was pretty successful with his small company and lived quite well in a sprawling ranch house in the countryside. Gradually I was introduced to him over several weekends, I didn't care much for him after all he wasn't my father. Seth was divorced and had a son who was 10 years old. At the time I paid little attention until the day my mother sat me down and explained that we were moving in to Seth's house in the country. Not only was I contending with a new school but now I was to be uprooted again to a different place to live, strangely I had calmed down a little by this time and was studying diligently at school, I showed a love for some sport especially wrestling, you could say I had become a model child. Maybe my father was the cause of my bad tantrums and his lack of love to my mother and me. At the start of summer holidays Seth arrived and began helping my mother to move whilst I sat in my bedroom head in a book as usual. I had packed my clothes, books and Xbox as that was all I needed in life to keep me happy. Seth was unlike my father he actually showed an interest in me from what I liked reading to what sports I did at school, I was torn between my loyalties and slowly I put up a barrier between Seth and me to prevent any closeness developing, but he was persistent and told me how I would really get along with his own son Brad who was 2 years older than me. Personally I couldn't see how on earth we would connect and it is what scared me the most, as much as I yearned for a sibling I never bargained on getting an older one. I carried my book out to his black BMW X5 which towered above me, for a eight year old I was fit and healthy albeit just five foot five inches with hopefully more growing to do, it still seemed like a big climb as I heaved myself in to the back seat and settled down. I was also trendy for my age with the latest haircut of buzzed sides and longer on top that was neatly combed, I took pride in my appearance as I knew it would help me get the right girls as school. Being gay or even thinking about it never crossed my mind but life has a way of turning your hand over before your eyes so I found out. My mother said goodbye and I panicked looking at her but she smiled and said she was following on in her car as there was no room for me to sit in there. I opened my book and stuck my head firmly in to it, I had never been alone with Seth and it was going to be 40 minute drive out of town. Briefly I looked up with what must have been eyes full of fear as Seth sat in the drivers seat and he glanced at me through the rear view mirror switching the engine on. Seth backed the car out of the short drive "It will be okay Tom" he said pulling away from my home. I watched out of the window as we moved away from my familiar surroundings "Really?" I replied. "You and Brad will get on just fine and he is excited to meet you" Seth said glancing in the mirror. I looked over at the mirror to see his eyes looking at me "Right" I said and faced back to the window. "You said you like wrestling at school Tom?" Seth asked me trying to engage me in conversation. "Yes" I replied without moving my head as a tear rolled down my cheek in sadness leaving things behind again. Seth smiled "Brad does wrestling and likes to work out so you have something in common" his eyes watching me. "Great" I replied emotionless wiping the tear from my cheek, the rest of the journey was silent. The car stopped "This is Medina Ranch" Seth said coming round to the boot of the car and opening it. "You have to be fucking kidding me, where the fuck are we?" I said kicking the gravel hard on the driveway. Seth didn't even look at me "Use those words again and you sleep in the barn" he said smirking. My mother pulled up in her car "Tommy what's wrong?" She asked walking towards me. I looked at her "How could you bring me here?" I angrily asked waving my hand at the expanse of greenery. She stopped at looked around "It's beautiful here Tommy you will love it" she said trying to calm me down. Seth watched me walking off "Leave him, let him get it out of his system" he replied shrugging it off. Julia turned to Seth "I really thought he would embrace this new life" she said. Seth pulled a box out of the car "He will come around Julia". Okay so underneath I wasn't quite the model child Seth had expected but little did I know my anger and frustration was born out of who I would eventually become as I grew older and understood myself better. In the meantime I found a quiet spot nearly half a mile from the house under some large trees where I sat down and cried my heart out, the thought of spending six long weeks with no signs of life or friends ripped through me in boiling anger. Seth took all my belongings and put them in the garage telling my mother that I needed to learn and will have to move my own belongings and grow up. My mother felt ashamed of my behaviour but Seth casually waved it off saying he had been through that with Brad. Guessing I must have been out for nearly three hours before realising that no one was coming out to look for me, hungry and thirsty I stood up and walked back towards the house, I got even more wound up and annoyed as I had got dirt on my book and frantically tried to clean it as best I could. In my tantrum I hadn't even looked at the house which stood imposingly on the plot, part single and two story sprawling ranch style it was definitely bigger than any house I had lived in, I stood looking at it with dread as it was to be my prison until I could move away, well that was how I saw it since nothing else seemed to be living around here. Walking up to the doors I opened the left one and let myself in and stood in the large entrance hall, I could hear my mother and Seth talking and walked towards the voices finding myself in the large kitchen and dining area. "There you are Thomas" my mother said reverting to my proper name, I knew she was angry. I looked at them both "I've ruined my book" putting it down in front of my mother. Seth turned the book around "I have a copy of that in the library you can read" he said looking at me. I sat down opposite them "Thanks" I replied with a genuine tone for the first time. My mother retrieved a plate from the refrigerator "You must be hungry Tommy" she said placing a sandwich by my side. "I am, thanks mum" I said already devouring it as she brought me a fruit juice as well. "When you finished I will show you where you will be sleeping" Seth told me with a smile on his face. Seth and my mother escorted me along a wing of the ranch house in to another lounge area that was clearly used by his son and then in to a large bedroom suite with two double beds, to be fair the room was almost as large as the apartment we had just left. It had an en-suite bathroom and wet room and overlooked the back of the house, the room angled around the pool area and my heart lifted seeing the large pool. Having never had a pool before I had not learnt to swim but the thought of being able to sit in it and paddle around made me smile. When they told me I would be sharing this area with Brad I argued to the point I upset myself realising it was a futile argument. Seth told me I would get along just fine with Brad and they turned to leave me with Seth pointing out my things are in the garage and to move them. I sat there alone putting my head in my hands cursing at my new life, I knew my mother was going away tomorrow for a couple of days with work which hastened the moving in. Residing to my fate I decided to make the best of a bad thing, I mean how much worse can it get. Eventually I found the garage and started moving my things in to the room, I was getting hot and sticky with all the walking and unpacking, I stripped off down to my shorts as I began unpacking my clothes and putting them in the walk in closet on the side that was empty. Outside and unknown to me Brad had returned on his quad bike and parked it in the garage, for a 10 year old he could easily pass at being 15 or 16 due to his tall broad build that he got from his father. Inheriting the dirty blond hair and striking blue eyes he was pretty well muscled up and had a very solid build for a kid his age. He carried it off well, even the seniors at the school daren't get on his bad side, he had a wonderful relationship with his father unlike me with mine. Brad walked in to the house and headed to the kitchen in his polite and mesmerising manner he sat and chatted with my mother until Seth said for him to go and meet me as they were going out to dinner and the housekeeper would prepare our dinner. Brad walked along the wing to his pad as he called it and saw the lounge area remained as when he left it that morning. He waited watching for his father and my mother to leave before he walked towards the bedroom, it was quiet apart from the clanging of coat hangers coming from closet. He looked at the bed seeing a few books strewn across it, he had never shown any inclination or interest in reading books unless he had to for school. He turned and walked towards the closet, standing at the doorway, I was unaware of Brad's presence or that he was scrutinising me from behind. "You like being in the closet" Brad asked making me jump that I missed the rail to hang a shirt on. I quickly turned frightened "Fuck don't creep up on me like that" were the first words out of my mouth. Brad's eyes looked at me trying to figure me out "Didn't mean to scare you" he said I could see the muscles in his arms and thought twice about hitting back "I'm Tom" I said shyly. "I'm not stupid I know who you are" he turned and left me in the closet. I walked in to the bedroom "I never asked to be here, so don't take it out on me" I said picking my books up. Brad was taking his t-shirt off "Yeah well were both stuck with this". I guess I must have been staring at him before I asked "How did you get so big?" then blushing at my upfront nature. Brad looked at me with his head to one side sizing me up "Working out and a muscle building compound". I nodded and went back to my unpacking, he ignored me listening to the music on his phone. Finally I finished after checking the clothes were hanging in an order that I liked and wiped my brow from the humidity. I had a quick shower to cool down and decided to look outside since Brad showed no sign of wanting to show me around. All I wanted to see really was the pool and I wasn't disappointed as it was large and plenty of shallow water at one end, I did a quick look around and took my reefs off and paddled in the shallow end for a few minutes enjoying the cool water over my submerged feet. "You can go in if you want" Brad said standing at the French doors watching me. I felt a little shame "No it's okay" I replied without looking at him. "Can you not swim?" he asked me walking out and joining me as I paddled. I hesitated "No" I said quietly not wanting to embarrass myself "I want to but never had a pool where I lived". Brad sat down on the edge of the pool dangling his feet in "I can teach you if you want". I looked at him but he was staring at the water "Really, you would?" I asked him surprised. Brad looked over at me "Yeah, well we got all summer vacation and there isn't much to do around here". I walked over and sat beside him "Thanks, and will you help me get muscle like yours?" I nervously asked. Brad laughed "If you want but it's hard work" he said nudging me "What are you going to do for me?" he asked. I chuckled "I have nothing to offer, I like reading and playing on my Xbox" I said to him. Brad smiled at me "You can read to me" he replied "you know the books I have to read for school, you can read them to me". That was the moment that we became friends, not quite step-brothers just then, but friends was a good place to start. The first few days I had terrible stomach ache as my body adjusted to the high protein muscle building compound, I think Brad got quite a lot of enjoyment seeing me running to the toilet. He told me not to worry and it will settle down in a few days, he introduced me to the gym by the pool house and got me lifting weights for half an hour in the morning and evening. True to his words he began to teach me to swim and by the end of the summer vacation I was at least no longer afraid of deep water and could happily manage a couple of lengths of the pool without loosing my breath. A week into our new found friendship Brad invited me to go for a ride on his quad bike, he packed some fruit and water along with a book in to his rucksack and gave it to me to put on my back. I was a little scared as I had never been on this type of bike but he drove slowly with me clasping him tightly in case I fell off we drove for about 20 minutes, passing fields and wooded areas until we hit an open expanse where I could see a line to trees and bushes stretching as far as the eye could see. Coming to a stop we walked a few meters in to the clearing by a shallow river the flowed gently meandering out of sight. "This is the Medina river" he said taking the rucksack off my back. I looked around "It's really pretty here" I said taking it all in. Brad smiled sitting down on the edge of the stream "My favourite little hideaway, the ranch is named after it". "Ah right" I replied sitting next to him. He pulled the book out of the rucksack and handed it to me "Your end of the bargain now" he chuckled. I took the book and laid on my stomach "Okay" I replied. I have to admit I started to find it intoxicating being here, the gentle sound coming from the water in the river flowing over the pebbles, the sun beating down and reading aloud was my idea of paradise, I even left my hair messed up from wearing the baseball cap. I kept looking at Brad when turning the page of the book, his eyes were closed hand clasped behind his head, whenever I stopped reading he would open one eye to check on me causing me to giggle several times. There was no doubt about him as rough and tough as he was on the outside he was a very different person underneath. I must have read nearly a hundred pages before he put his hand on the book to stop me reading and handed me some fruit and water. We walked in the stream hardly saying anything to each other until we returned back to our spot where he handed me the book again, I read a further 3 chapters before I put the book down and laid on my back looking up at the dappled sunlight coming through the trees. The rustling in the trees signified a change coming, Brad only to aware jumped up and packed the rucksack telling me there was a storm coming in, something that was quite usual for this time of day when the heat rose sharply like it had during the afternoon. Sure enough just a few hundred meters from the ranch house the heavens opened as the wind picked up in velocity driving the rain in to our faces. The storm lasted for an hour before the sun appeared again. We stood in the garage soaking wet and just laughed as puddles began forming at our feet, from that day we found our sense of humour to be very similar. A few days later at lunchtime we were heading out to the Medina River again, today the sun was already blazing hot in the sky so I sat down right the waters edge so I could dangle my feet in the water to cool them down as I read aloud to Brad, he sat a little further up so I could only see his legs, after an hour I turned on to my stomach and laid down resting on my elbows continuing to read. He did make me laugh seeing him chilled out chewing on a long stem grass, his eyes closed hands clasped behind his head. We walked a mile down the stream and back again before heading home, this afternoon was different as we chatted a little more finding our feet with each other. As the days passed we spent more and more time together bonding and enjoying working out then spending afternoons at the Medina river. By the time the vacation ended I was ready to return to school, it was my first day as this new school, as nervous as I was there was nothing to worry about as I fitted in straight away, Brad looked after me since we had become inseparable over the summer vacation. Those long summer days turned me in to a somewhat confident swimmer, I was beginning to show some muscle tone which I loved and many kids in my class commented over. Never would I realise how much of a catch I was to the girls and was never short of attention from them in my year and even some of the senior girls flirting with me. One thing I was probably more dumbstruck by was hearing them remark how attractive I was. It got worse as I aged, well I thought so anyway, it seemed almost all the school wanted to hang out with Brad and I, himself turning in to quite the muscle jock now having hit puberty. I felt a little overawed by all the friends and attention but there was something missing and that something was slowly beginning to show it's hand the older I got. It did take a couple of summers before Brad actually referred to me as his step-brother, after our parents married he began referring to me as his brother and it was this milestone that I articulated in my journal. I would usually write my journal sitting by the stream I found it gave me more flair when transferring my thoughts to paper. Brad would often sit there watching as I wrote, he knew I kept a journal and read it once when I fell asleep but he got bored as it contained nothing of interest at that point. It was from them I began hiding it and only writing when something needed to be downloaded out of my head, it had become my secret keeper. My reading to Brad had got him interested in books and studying and he did rather to well in his final years and won a place at a university some 300 miles away. Our years together were for the most part idyllic and every summer we shut ourselves away at Medina doing our own things. Our bodies changed but we both retained our looks and I grew from strength to strength with Brad's help. On his 16th birthday Seth allowed Brad to get a tribal tattoo down his arm. I sat with him and Seth as the artist worked for nearly 3 hours until finished. Sitting there I realised how much Brad was growing up and beginning to show independence, I knew our summers were going to come to an end soon enough. At 17 Brad was a real crowd pleaser and was now more often out than at home, I had heard rumours at school that he was bedding girls like there was no tomorrow, when he was home we would still go to the Medina river for some peace and quiet escaping life. I relished those days as I missed him like hell and was only too happy to read to him. At 15 I had a growth spurt and stood at my now five feet nine inches, I was pretty happy with my height, but it also caused my looks to intensify and muscle definition to proportionise itself to my body. It was several months after my birthday that I wrote down one of the most revealing feelings about me 'I feel my body has changed, I have hair appearing in places not much but enough, my voice is slightly deeper and I am beginning to feel like the boy in me is forever being lost. I like guys. Don't aske me how or why, I just do. I like their bodies, I like the masculinity of a guy who is very close to me. I never really thought I would write this down but somehow I need to express me and who I have become. I just don't seem to have any interest in girls and yes I know what this means but I am not ready for it. I need to come to accept it first and be happy about why my body and soul has gone this way. As much as I rack my brains trying to think why, there is no answer. No significance, no turning point, it has always been there waiting for the right time'. I put my pen down and watched Brad sleeping in his bed, discreetly hiding my journal as I knew that it was more important than ever to keep it hidden. I never wrote a lot down or did it on a daily basis, it was one of things I kept as a reminder of important things or situations now. I wondered if it showed on the outside that I was gay, I only questioned it as I saw less and less of Brad during that last summer before he headed off to university. It seemed his new friend residing in his pants was busy around and he started dating the head cheerleader from the school, Melinda. It was to put it bluntly my year of turmoil, I felt like my gut had been wrenched out the day he finally left. I knew he wanted to break free and be his own person. He left me fighting my demons, I was literally destroying myself inside out and it was after my 16th birthday I sat down for dinner, I plucked up the courage to discuss it with my mother and Seth since they had noticed I was becoming more introverted during this time but they put it down to Brad leaving home. Opening up to them about my feelings seemed to lift a massive burden off my shoulders, my mother was sceptical saying it wss just a phase where Seth appeared to have more control over the matter and I still remember his words to this day 'Don't hide or run from it, just let you discover you and who you are'. I kept my secret hidden at school and concentrated on getting my education over before deciding weather I wanted to go to college or university, rumours did surface occasionally as I had plenty of friends that were girls but never date or kissed any of them, I never acted gay or gave any one cause to question my sexuality. Not one for wanting to be away from Medina ranch I choose college and long distance studying, the benefit of which meant I could take my laptop out with me to the Medina river and study there where I didn't have to go in to college for assignments, tests and exams. So it wasn't all that bad coming out to my mother and Seth, they just let me get on with it. I was surprised that Seth would without fail every week sit down and chat with me about how I was feeling, I looked on him as more of a father than my blood father who I hadn't seen since the break up. Seth was reasonable and considerate, never judging me but always supporting and being there if I needed help. The year dragged by and Brad returned home for the summer vacation, he entered the house like a whirlwind and swooped me up in his arms hugging me. "God I missed you Tom" Brad said putting me down. I hugged him back "It's so lonely without you here" I replied. "Well I am here for several weeks book worm" he said using his nick name for me. It didn't take long for our routine to slip in to place, only now it just felt awkward as I was hiding the real me from him. I just couldn't bring myself to tell him, I didn't really know why at the time but I thought it would be best to keep that part of me in the shadows. All to soon his few weeks at home had come to an end and that last evening I heard Seth and Brad having a very stern discussion in the library. It was pretty fiery so I made my way back to our room and listened to some music reading a book. When Brad turned up he seemed his cheery self and said nothing about the argument going on, he showered and changed then headed out to meet his latest girl. A few days later when I asked how Brad was doing just out of normal conversation I got a strange look from Seth. He would not talk much about Brad just that he was doing okay, I knew he had gone to university several times to talk to him, and I overheard him and my mother talking about Brad's disciplinary hearing but nothing was ever said directly to me. I had no idea what was going on or what trouble he had gotten himself into. I had just celebrated my 18th birthday and was studying on the pool terrace late one morning when I heard Seth in the kitchen cursing to himself and grabbing his keys, I heard him talking to my mother on the phone to say he was having to drive up to the university. By the time I got to the kitchen he had already stormed out leaving the letter from the universities disciplinary committee on the counter top. My mistake or maybe it wasn't, I picked up the letter and read it. I couldn't believe the words of the last paragraph 'As such situations arise when a student is in possession of any form of drug the course of action is to expel them from the campus and forfeit their position. Whilst the committee have noted that no further action is being taken by the relevant law enforcement agencies we are in no doubt of possession and intended use or distribution and as such the student has been expelled. The committees decision is final and will not entertain any appeal to review'. It was almost like a standard letter but I felt really sorry how his life had spiralled out of control in this manner. Seth returned later that evening tired and upset, I listened at the door as he told my mother that Brad refused to see him point blank. I walked in to the lounge and they both stopped talking. "Are you going to tell me what is going on with Brad?" I asked standing my ground. Seth shrugged his shoulder "There is no point Tom, he won't see or speak to anyone" he replied. I sat down next to Seth "How bad is it?" I asked him. Seth looked at my mother "He has been expelled, he needs help but he can't see that or accept it". That evening was one of the longer entries in to my journey as I was troubled all night, when I woke early that Saturday morning I sneaked down to Seth's BMW and turned the key and looked at the SatNav which gave me a location near enough to where Brad was staying. I got my keys and sped down the ranch driveway and headed to Dallas, I almost stopped several times wondering if I was doing the right thing but I kept going on the 5 hour drive. I knew I was in the right place but I had no idea which building he was in, I stopped a student wandering by just on the off chance and asked if they knew Brad Felshaw, he laughed and said yeah building 2c Room 235. I rushed over not knowing what I was going to say to him as I reached the door, I knocked three times but waited to hear if there was any movement when another student walked past and smiled 'good luck getting him to answer' they said carrying on down the corridor glancing back at me, I now banged on the door louder this time. "Go away" he shouted through the door. "Brad" I waited for a moment "Brad it's Tom, let me in please" I pleaded through the door. Eventually I heard the lock clicking and he opened the door "What do you want?" he asked. "I came to see you" I said through the crack in the opening "are you going to let me in?". Brad was reluctant "Did my father send you here?" he asked. "No, he doesn't know I have driven here" I replied, he hesitated then opened the door inviting me in. He looked dishevelled and not the Brad I knew "What the fuck has happened to you?" I asked closing the door. Brad sat on the bed head in his hands "I lost control and fucked up really bad this time". I sat down next to him "Everyone is worried about you Brad. It hurts to see you like this". "Like what?" he asked in an angry tone. "This is not you, not the Brad I grew up with" I replied looking at him. He stared at me "Your not the Tom I grew up with are you?" he stated in a matter of fact way. I looked down "It hasn't change me Brad, I haven't come to terms with it myself" I said shyly. "Is that so?" Brad replied somewhat confused. I took a deep breath "Come home with me, I will sneak you in and look after you". He looked at me "I can't deal with my father he is so angry with me" he said looking sad. I put my arm around him "He is not angry Brad, just upset and very concerned" I assured him. Brad stood and paced around "Are you sure you want to do this Tom?" he asked. I looked at him "Are you an addict?" I asked. He shot me a look "No, I only did it 4 or 5 times" he paused "but I am getting drawn to it". I don't know how I did it but he agreed to come home with me after I promised not to let anyone know until he was ready to face them. He slept for most of the journey back home, I could have sworn he cried a little or at least his eyes watered seeing Medina Ranch at the end of the access road. He slid down in his seat to avoid being seen as I drove in the garage. I checked the house to make sure the coast was clear and walked with brad down the wing to our end of the house. Telling him to shower and as he did I quickly rifled through his bag to make sure there was nothing hiding in there and also the clothes he had worn home. I kind of felt guilty and didn't really know what I was doing, his hand grabbed my arm tightly 'there is nothing there' he said letting me go again, he certainly hadn't lost any of his muscle or strength. Something inside me caused me to stand up and face him, I was speechless and I couldn't work out if I got a kick out of him touching me aggressively like that. He backed off in obvious concern at what he did. At 20 Brad was a walking sex machine and it was hard to keep my gaze from looking at his body, I had still yet to explore my sexuality but I knew he definitely aroused me. I tried to keep a close reign on my preference for the male body whilst living in small town Texas, the last thing I wanted was to be out and branded like the cattle in this state. He looked at me "I'm sorry if I hurt you" Brad said drying his hair. "Promise me you have none of it here?" I asked watching him look me in the eye nodding. Brad slipped in to his bed "Promise me you won't let on?" he asked resting his head on the pillow. I looked at the sight of him staring at the ceiling "You have my word Brad" I replied picking up a book, I knew I would have to keep a very close eye on him. Sitting on the bed next to him he smiled for the first time "You going to read to me?". I nodded "Yes that's if you don't mind me sitting on the bed next to you?" I replied. Brad smiled "Of course I don't" he said getting comfortable. It took me by surprise and at first I wasn't sure if it was him accepting what he knew about me or just the brotherly part coming through. I read to him for an hour until he was sound asleep, it was only 8pm so I crept out and had dinner with Seth and my mother, it didn't take long for the conversation got around to where I had been all day and I told them at the Medina river and also headed in to town to see a friend. As far as I know they hadn't suspected a thing and after dinner I grabbed some fruit and went back to the bedroom to find Brad still sound asleep. I kept the curtains closed that overlooked the terrace and the French doors locked. I can't recall what time it was but I was woken by the sound of Brad, I could make out that he was sitting on the edge of his bed shaking and panting. Thankfully I had done some research on the internet after I returned to my room and believed this to be his body reacting to a lack of whatever drug he had taken. I turned on the bed side lamp and could see he was also sweating. I walked over and asked him what I could do to help but he looked at me like a helpless child tears streaming down his face. Trust me I said helping him stand up and took him in to the wet room and turned on the cold water, I sat next to him in the shower letting the cold water cascade over the both of us until his shaking ceased. I helped dry him and took him back in to the bedroom to my bed and laid next to him, so much of me wanted to cuddle him in this fragile state, he looked at me and quietly said thank you and falling back to sleep. I watched him as long as I could until my body surrendered and my eyes closed. I had one of the best night sleeps that I could remember, waking up I found my body was being held and my eyes snapped open. His arms were wrapped around me and he was cuddled up very close, to close for comfort was my initial diagnoses. Escaping was the first thing in my head, then the awkwardness of this as me moving would certainly wake him up and he may freak out. I laid there silently for several minutes until Brad shuffled and turned over releasing me from his arms. Silently I crept out of bed and let him sleep, picking up my journal I wrote a few words 'Woke feeling like I had a perfect sleep. Shaken I found my step-brothers arms wrapped around me, his body touching mine. Disturbing to say the least but somehow I find myself turned on as my whole body seemed to be in a state of flux'. I hid the journal and showered, when I came back in to the room Brad was awake and just acted normally. I came to the conclusion that he probably didn't even know, for the most part Brad seemed to be returning and the next few days I studied and didn't leave his side except to fetch food. Keeping him hidden seemed pretty easy and his withdrawal symptoms vanished which confirmed my suspicion that he had probably told me the truth. I guess I got to cocky at this hiding Brad game and he slid down in the seat of the car as I backed out of the garage and drove us to the Medina river again. I sat down on the banks and started reading, Brad laid on his stomach his head inches from the water resting on his hands watching the water flowing by. He wore only shorts taking his t-shirt off as we arrived since it was another scorching day. It was very distracting, I just wanted to touch and hold the body laying there, it was so perfect and the temptation to tickle his bare feet his toes wriggling in the sun crossed my mind. Refocusing I continued reading for an hour then we waded in the river and walked for a couple of hours. On the walk back to our spot Brad put his arm around my shoulder, something he hadn't done since we were younger. I felt like our bond was stronger than ever having faltered when he found out what his cock was for and put it to use. I rummaged in the rucksack and gave Brad some fruit and a bottle of water, if people saw us now they would think we were a perfect couple. I grabbed the book and sat down on the waters edge, before I could even get it open he had sat down behind me, his legs either side of my body and his arms wrapped around my body with his chin resting on my shoulders. It was one thing accidentally cuddling me in bed but this felt strangely weird but I carried on and opened the book to the page where we had got to the previous evening, he watched me leafing through to the pages but my mind was elsewhere as my body tingled by his touch. "Can't believe how much you have grown up and changed Tom" Brad said as he watched me turning the pages. I smiled but didn't look at him "We have both grown up Brad". Brad rubbed his chin on my shoulder "Yeah but at least you didn't screw up like me" he sighed. I looked up at the sky "I am just as screwed up if not more but in other ways". Brad stopped and looked at me "You are far from screwed up Tom, your confronting things head on" he said. "Well it's my turn to return the favour, you looked after me growing up" I said reminding him. Brad chuckled and waved it off "Was it hard, you know growing up feeling the way you do?" he asked me. "What way?" I asked oblivious to what he meant. Brad rubbed his chin on my shoulder again "You being gay" he said, I was slightly taken back. I turned and looked at him "It still is, I try to work out why but I end up even more confused" I said looking at the book. Brad ruffled my hair "Your still Tom to me. It is what is in here that defines you" he said tapping my heart. I sighed "I'm so lucky having you as a brother, as fucked up as you are" I laughed more out of nerves than anything. His hands hugged me tighter "You have helped me so much Tom. And now?" he whispered "Have you a boyfriend?". I stared at the words on the pages "No" I replied "How come you haven't got a girl?". "Don't know" Brad said "Melinda was mediocre for sex but she was getting to needy and I got nothing out of it". Brad lifted his head "Stop changing the subject. Why haven't you got a boyfriend?" he asked. I sighed "I am not ready to explore yet" I replied, it was the truth as I had no courage or even knew where to start. Brad hugged me tighter "Who ever get's you will be one lucky person. Come on then read to me" he said. I wondered if I was becoming a bit of a shady pervert as I settled back in to his arms reading the book. It is a strange feeling when your step-brother is the closet another man has ever got to you, sitting here time just seemed to get away from us. We hadn't realised how late it got and headed back home, no further mention was made by either of us about that afternoon, assuming it was just us rekindling our brotherly love for each other. I checked the coast was clear and we wandered down the east wing of the ranch house in our lounge and found Seth sat there waiting for us. Brad stopped dead in his tracks and Seth stood up and walked towards Brad, I didn't know what to expect, I stood ready to defend him. Seth looked at his son and hugged him, Brad kept apologising for screwing everything up, he told Brad he was just happy to his son back. Seth looked at me "Thank you Tom" he said. I put the rucksack down "I'm sorry for going behind everyone's back". Seth walked over and hugged me "You had us worried behaving weirdly at first". "You knew?" I asked Seth who nodded. "They described you and your car as taking Brad away from campus" Seth said to me as I stood looking ashamed. It was obvious Seth was pleased that I managed to get through to Brad when no one else could. As Brad slept I retrieved my journal from the hiding place and wrote things in there again that should never have been down on paper... 'A strange yet weirdly happy day as we went to the river only this time I felt like I was sat there with a lover. His hands around my waist and head resting on my shoulders. I know this is my step-brother but sometimes feelings are stronger than actions and he wakens me in a very extraordinary way'. I looked debating weather I should have written this but my journal was holding the true me, quickly I hid it away again. Brad was left alone in my company for a week partaking in meals with the family in the evening for as long as he could tolerate it. At night I would read to him and we often fell asleep in the same bed, it was as if we were 8 and 10 again. Brad got his life together and started working for his father whilst finishing his education. So that was me growing up and how I helped my step-brother through his problem, oh, and fell in love with him. The table would turn in a few years time but that was something I could never have seen coming, especially when your so blinded by what you think is love but in reality was the opposite. I became the closest friend to Brad as well, we would tell each other everything and before you ask, no I didn't write those in my journal. I knew they were things best kept between us. Part of me was broken but happy when Brad started seeing Melinda again in this on off story of theirs, so much so that it became probably the most serious relationship for the time being. As if you hadn't guessed by now, Brad was the first instrumental person in my life, he shaped me as the person as we grew up together in a very unshakable way. We stuck to each other like glue and did everything together. My life really took shape and turned upside down a week before my 19th birthday celebrating a belated 18th birthday present, and this is where my story really begins to unfold...

He just wanted to hang out, talk. It was so laid back and casual, I didn't even realize when he steered the conversation toward sex. He said some men are just made to be tops ... they know how to take charge of another person, and their big cock is evidence of the power they hold over others. On the other hand, he said some are just born submissive ... they typically have a smaller dick that just can't provide the same pleasure to a bottom. And they don't have an ass, they have a boypussy or a pussy, which can't resist a real man's cock. He asked me how big I was, and I told him. He kinda laughed and said, "Yeah ... you know most bottoms need more, right? This is what a real cock looks like." And just like that, he whipped out his huge 8.5" x 6" hard cock. I just sat there in shock, but I couldn't take my eyes off it, and got rock hard myself. He said, "It looks like you wanna touch it. Go ahead." So I reached over the couch and took it in my hand, and started jacking him off. For some reason, I felt the urge to get on my knees in front of him, and kept going. He told me to suck it, but I told him I only meant to hang out with him, not have sex. Just then a big drop of precum appeared on his slit. "Look, you don't have to suck it, but just lick that off before it hits the floor, yeah?" The drop got bigger, and started rolling down the shaft. I quickly stuck out my tongue and licked it off. Before I knew it, another drop was rolling down, and I instinctively kept lapping it up. I couldn't stop myself at that point, I took the first few inches into my mouth. "Good boy, see? You were born for this. I knew you couldn't resist." And he was right, his cock was intoxicating. As I sucked his cock deeper, he stood up and held my head still while fucking my throat. "Ohhh yeah, good little faggot, hot little cockslut." I wanted to protest what he was saying, but having his cock in my mouth made me turned on by those words. I could feel myself falling deeper into what I later realized is a very submissive, suggestable state. Eventually we moved to his bedroom and continued. He said he wanted to fuck me, and I said no. "Let me just rim you, then." And I agreed. When my clothes came off, he held my smaller dick against his and smirked. "You belong in chastity." I shouldn't have let him near my ass because his tongue felt amazing. "Let me fuck you." Again I said no. "Just the tip." I didn't say anything for a while, but I couldn't resist for long. "Okay, just the tip. For a few seconds, then take it out." He agreed as he grabbed lube. When he slid the head in, it hurt, and he implored me to at least wait until it felt better before taking it out. I relented, and it wasn't long before it started to feel good. After a few minutes, I told him to take it out. "Just a few more minutes?" I couldn't say no. What I didn't realize at the time was that he was slowly sliding more of his cock into me. "Hang on, let me re-adjust." He pulled his cock all the way out, then slid it back in. I moaned. "Yeah, good boy, your pussy needs this cock, doesn't it?" I didn't say anything as he continued to pull out, then back in again. Eventually I turned to look at him, and told him to get a condom. "Why? I'm not fucking you. I just wanna have some fun, then we'll stop." As his cock continued moving in and out, deeper with each thrust, I just moaned. It was getting harder to think clearly. He kept up for what must have been half an hour. I was a quivering mess at that point, and he said he was going to own my pussy ... going to breed it. I tried to push him away, but he grabbed on and it was too late. I was embarrassed on my way out, trying not to make eye contact, but he just said, "You'll be back for more." He was right. I went back three more times before I was able to stop myself. And even then, it was only because he started talking about "booty bumps" and whoring me out. I was turned on, but terrified, and that was the end of that.

What have I done? Last Sunday I awoke with a huge hard on and felt very horny so logged on to Grindr & BBRTS but no one was around that early therefore decided to take my frustrations out on a bike ride seeing as it was such a glorious day. I had a quick wash and clean out, just in case, I looked into my wardrobe, revealing many different coloured Lycra cycling outfits - black, red and many other coloured shorts. I chose none of these and decided on my white bib shorts. I squeezed my slim 21 year old body into them, making sure they were as tight as possible and ran my hands over the silky curves of my pert ass before adjusting my cock and balls that jut out leaving no one in any doubt of my size and girth. I went outside, got on my bike and off I went. Less than half an hour into my ride is a fabulous undulating road with sweeping corners and one fast downhill section all within a cool forest. It felt great to be alive! I flew on the downhill section hitting 43 m.p.h. then just as I swooped past a big beefy fellow cyclist came a sharp right-hand corner. Suddenly the front wheel washed out under me on a swathe of gravel and I promptly hit the deck, hard, sliding some short ways further down the road until coming to a crumpled halt spread-eagled on the asphalt. Luckily the guy I just passed stopped to help me up. “Hey young fellah, you hurt?” adding, “It’s not often a young man falls at my feet, must be my lucky day!” “Just winded, I think” as he clears my bike to the side of the road just as a car comes along, as I’m still dazed I’m swept up into his big powerful black arms and carried me out of the way to the roadside layby then gently laid me on my side in the recovery position. “Stay there and catch your breath young’un” he says “Oh you have ripped a big hole in your shorts, bit of gravel rash too. I’ll get some wet wipes and clean you up.” As he goes off to his bike saying, “It may hurt but there’s no blood…yet.” On his return, he kneels in front of me his crotch right in front of my face as he’s gently cleaning my tender now throbbing ass. He’s so close I can smell his musk and the sheer size of his dick, which I swear is growing, as he cleans up my scraped butt cheek. I must admit the ministrations to my ass were hot-wired to my now rock-hard cock. “Is it that bad?” I ask thinking he is spending a lot of time cleaning me up back there. “Oh sorry young’un I got carried away…gotta open the wounds to get the grit out” He stands up and offers to help me to my feet. “Ummm looks like you’re already UP!” I know I am blushing and as a result sheepishly admit, “It felt great even if I do hurt a bit…in fact I feel sick!” I stumble to me feet, lean against the nearest tree and retch, my stomach flips a couple of times but nothing comes up. “Gosh! I now need to pee” as a sudden urge hits me and just in time I pull the front of my ripped shorts down as a bladderful of golden piss strongly arcs from my dick. As I stand and shake the last drips off I look down to notice broken packets of lube, used condoms and soggy tissues by the foot of the tree and am instantly hard as an image of orgies flash through my mind. I stand there that bit too long slowly jacking until brought back to reality with, “Ummm, shock I guess” the black guy with the deep booming voice informs me, his breath hot on my neck as his arms wrap around me again, “here let me help you out.” I instantly melted into his muscular body and felt his hard BBC press into my ass crack and it felt huge. His hands brushed both my nipples and worked his way down to my cock. He ripped away at what was left of my torn lycra shorts and cupped my exposed ass. His one finger brushed my hole. I moaned. While he was doing that I rub my hands over the thin material between my hand and his cock and marvel at the amount of precum that is already seeping through the lycra as I rub his dick to full near lycra bursting hardness. In no time I pull down his shorts to free his gorgeous thick curved cock. We kiss, hard, tongues battling with one another saliva all over my face. He broke off the kiss "Are you OK?" "Yes...... I need this" I pulled off my top as I bend down to lick the end of his cock, swirl my tongue around his fat mushroom head and tease his piss slit. His reaction was to moan out loud. When I stood up he was almost naked. We grind our bodies together all the while kissing hands exploring one another’s bodies. "I love the taste of my first black cock," I tell him Our cocks sliding against each other. He easily turns me round and bumps his cock towards my hole. Rubbing it on my hole makes me moan as I move up and down on his hardness as I was so horny for him to fuck me. He pushed me up against the tree and continued kissing. He worked his way down my neck to my chest and sucked on each nipple turning me on even more than I thought possible. I wanted to make him feel good more than anything in that moment. He bobbed down and ate my ass. No one had ever done that before. I was in heaven, moaning and pushing my ass back against his tongue. He ate my ass for about 10 minutes opening me up and getting most of his tongue right up my chute and when he turned me round and we made out and I could taste myself on him. It was sooooo hot. He slammed me against the tree and slid one, then two, three and finally four fingers in and out of my ass. Wow, my legs shook but boy it felt great I open my legs wider to give him the best access as we continue like this for what felt like forever and I was sooooo into it. The whole time his cock was rubbing copious amounts of precum in my skinned ass making it sting, wet and sticky. His cock felt so good on my ass that I spread my legs more and just then his cock head slipped in my ass about halfway. I was shocked and so was he. We hadn't used any lube and he wasn't trying to penetrate me yet, or so I thought, but there was his cock in my ass, bareback. It felt so good. I grabbed his ass and pulled him into me, fuck it hurt like hell but though wincing I told him, "Don't stop. Fuck me. C’mon fuck me" He pushed in hard as my sphincter gave way to the pressure, pinged then stretched further as he plunged the whole length in to his scratchy pubic hairs and with no time to adjust rapidly began pumping away. His sawing in and out threw me about like a rag doll but I hung on to the tree for support every time he bottomed out in my guts. "Oh, fuck, I'm getting close!" he says then started to gently rock his bare cock slowly in and out of my ass. I loved it. No cock had ever felt this good in my ass, I was getting barebacked and I loved it. I thought about stopping but I didn't want to. I knew it was dangerous, but it felt so great that I just kept kissing him and saying "Fuck Me. Fuck me" over and over again. It wasn't much longer before I felt him getting close to cumming, his dick swelled and felt extra hard. He started tensing up and said, "I'm going to cum, cum in your ass, bitch." I’m telling him, "Do it. Cum in me." and pulled him into me as he shot his cum in my ass. "Shit! I'm cumming ... fuck, I'm shooting right NOW." I too was also shooting, but unlike his load, my cum blew all over the forest floor. It must have been biggest load I've ever shot and even after my climax had ended his cock was still throbbing and pulsing spilling cum deep in my bowels. No time for a post fuck kiss as I get one huge shock! There’s clapping behind us, “Nice show Kyle. Heard you tested Poz the other day, he your first victim since?” Kyle’s cock was still rock hard in my ass and I felt it twitch again in response. WHAT DID HE JUST SAY? I completely froze. “So, your husband told us you finally have HIV now, congrats you’ve joined us in the brotherhood man! Good to see you’re spreading your diseased seed.” My mind was racing. ‘Shit what had I done. Is it too late? Maybe I’ll be lucky and it won’t take. They’re joking, right?’ I had just been in fantasyland, fucked by an unbelievable man with a fantastic big black cock who had cum inside me and now I find out he’s POZ? My head was about to explode and my mind was spinning fast. What should I do? Time was passing so slowly with everything that was on my mind. Kyle’s cock was still hard as a rock, his erection planted deep in my guts plugging his toxic seed making sure none could escape. I tried to move forward slowly to remove his cock from my ass but I was too up against the tree and now two other black guys were surrounding me. Oh God! What to do? The answer was made for me as a minute later their zippers were down, my head yanked down and on to another enormous cock, “Suck this, get it slippery and wet coz that’s the only lube you’re getting bro’” I was hard as fuck again and rocking back and forth getting skull fucked which in turn pushed Kyle’s cock farther inside. Now I didn’t care about the hot load inside me. I was hungry for more cock, needed more black cock. I had to keep from screaming when Kyle pulled his monster out of my ass, partly because it hurt and partly because it left me feeling so…empty. I pulled off the dick in my mouth, turned around looked Kyle straight in the eye and begged him to fuck me again. He didn’t need asking twice but I found it to be a big turn on for me and in no time at all he had that monster back inside me and was fucking me as hard and fast as he could with his full length. And I thought the previous fucking was good, man could this guy move. Getting seriously plowed by a POZ stud with a huge cock, one load in me and another on the way was the biggest aphrodisiac coz my dick was bouncing rigid spraying strands of clear precum everywhere as my head was pulled down to suck dick again. “You like this big dick fucking you?” “Mmmmm. Yes. Sir, I sure. Do.” Is all I can say with a mouthful of cock down my throat? “You heard I’m POZ?” I immediately moan, “Yes,” in response. He pushed hard into me driving his cock as deep as he could and , grabbing my hair and pulling my head back as far as he could. “You want another POZ load in that hole don’tcha?” “Yes.” “Yeah I know you do. I’m working on it young’un. I’m gonna fuck so much cum into you. Do your friends know you’re a cum slut? That’s what you are now, a dirty POZ cum slut?” He all but shouts into my ear whist all the time is driving that HIV laden cock in and out of my ass, his diseased cum filled balls slapping my ass. “You want this load? You want me to breed you? You want me to infect that ass, don’t you?” There is only one answer I can give “Yes. Yes. YES! God yes!” I wanted him to blow another load into me and keep on fucking his POZ loads until I was infected and he would just keep fucking me. “You asked for it baby boy, here it comes.” His body slammed into me again and again as he climaxed dumping shot after shot of poisoned cum into my hole. I was shaking from the thrill as I could feel his hot breath on the back of my neck and I could feel his cock throbbing with each heartbeat. After a moment, he pulled out with an audible plop and a flood of cum ran down my wobbly legs, he smeared his cummy dick across my scratched butt cheek then moved in front of me and ordered me to clean his dick off which I happily did. I took his dick in my mouth and sucked him clean of cum and ass juices. God did that cock taste like heaven. “Good boy young’un” was all he said satisfied that it was clean he put it away in those tight lycra shorts. "He’s all yours Jay. Won’t need any lube now, plenty of slick lubricant in that wrecked hole. Cum, the best lube ever!” I soon felt Jay’s index finger go inside me, followed by another, and yet another as he tried to stretch my hole enough to accommodate his impressive, shorter but much thicker member. "Oh man, oh baby boy, your hole is still so tight and hungry, I love how you grip my fingers despite Kyle’s hole wrecker twice fucking you good. I'm gonna love adding to your hole making you our own personal cumdump." Jay barked into my ear as he roughly fingered my hole. "I think you're ready baby boy, take a deep breath, relax and enjoy, you are so gonna be in for a bumpy ride." Jay’s fingers were ripped out of my ass, he stood as he mate thrust a bottle of poppers under my right nostril and said "Take a couple of deep breaths boy, trust me, you're gonna need all the help you can get". I breathed in the heady smell and as this warm relaxing feeling rushing over me and my hole relaxed, Jay's big cock head popped inside me and I felt my hole stretch wider than it had ever stretched before. "Ohh fuuuuck!" I groaned as he continued to slide his cock inside me and I felt my insides shift to accommodate this monstrously thick cock totally filling my no longer tight, ass. He finally was planted balls deep inside me. "Hey baby boy, I wish you could see how your hole twitches around my cock! Renton look at this, it’s sucking me in, the hungry bitch wants more" He exclaimed excitedly. He started slowly pulling his cock out of me and I could feel the rim of his cockhead pulling on my ass lips as he withdrew until only the head was in me. He pushed balls deep again and started a slow in and out sawing motion that had me trembling with pleasure, excitement, and what I can only describe as ecstasy once more. Not wanting to be left out, Renton stuffed his thick uncut cock into my mouth and I was soon gagging on his equally huge hard cock now stopping the oxygen supply that sent shivers throughout my body and I felt light headed and limp. I came to as Jay roughly slammed his cock balls deep inside me, just as Renton pulled out, his breathing quickened and his pistoning actions became erratic as he started grunting and groaning. "Fuck! I'm not gonna last any longer! I'm gonna fill you up baby! You ready?!" Jay slams his cock balls deep and holds it there deep inside me shooting bathing the walls of my ass with his red hot POZ juices. Jay collapsed on my back panting hard he eventually caught his breath and slowly pulled his huge cock out of me, leaving me with an empty feeling that needed to be filled again. "Fuck Yeah! I want that ass right now!" Renton exclaims. Renton's cock was thinner but slightly longer with a wicked curve than Jay's and instantly I felt his cock easily slide balls deep into me. That curve made a noticeable difference from the first in stroke, pressing on my prostate, making my cock just and shoot yet more precum. “Fuck Babyboy clamp those ass muscles around my big black dick!” I try my best “I love the look of your lily-white ass against my black log as it swallows it whole.” Renton says as he completely pulled his cock out and rammed back in, “Pushing all that POZ cum deeper up your ripped-up guts, making sure we knock you up good.” By this point, my young cock had been painfully hard from all the prostate stimulation making me tingle all over and my toes curl with pressure building in my balls, cum boiling ready to shoot at any moment. Renton bucks his hips hard against butt making me scream "Oh fuck! I'm gonna cum!" "Shoot, get rid of that useless neg load" he bellows while continuing to slam back into me and his thrusts become even more frantic and that was all it took. Cum flew from my dick, my hole spasmed erratically and gripped his cock tighter clearly pushing him over the edge and he slammed balls deep, “Pozzing your ass, your ass is mine too now Babyboy!” As I distinctly felt every blast of poison shoot from his dick. The three hugged me and Kyle growled in my ear, "Your ass is ours! From now on you're gonna want my dick, and my friends' dicks and you'll always carry us with you, coz you only get pozzed once!” Jay adds, “We’re here at this layby most nights, dusk time so when you need another fucking you know when and where to come…and when you get sick find us coz we’ll all need a potent recharge from your fresh HIV Positive white dick. Gotta keep them strains toxic!” When I got home I lay on my bed thinking about what had just happened. My cock was rock hard again, painfully hard and I don’t know what’s a matter with me? I jacked another load out, perhaps my last neg cum as I fingered my puffy hole and shot all over my now not so white bib shorts. I certainly got a fitting souvenir of a remarkable ride, one I’ll never forget.

I hope I don't offend anyone with my comments here. They are mine alone and I do not believe anyone should follow my lead. I think it's fair to say that everyone is physically and physiologically different so HIV will affect each of us, and our relationships, differently. Speaking for myself, I became extremely obsessed with HIV and I fucked everyone, anywhere, in the hopes of seroconverting, which did not take long. It was impossible to think of anything else. I am very lucky to live in central Florida where bareback sex is so common and that HIV is extremely prevalent. The reality is that my obsession is not new and you may be surprised find out that MANY men have actually "chased" this disease, regardless of the eventual final physical results. What may make me different is that I fully admit my actions and not afraid of talking about it. I am very happy being a member of this website and I'm still not regretting the decisions I made. I respect all the members here and their decisions they make. As far as the question the original person who posted this question, family life following HIV infection will depend on how your individual family members will accept your condition. I sincerely hope you find what you're looking for and hope you all the best with regards to your family. If you need support feel free to reach out to me and I'll be happy to help.

Part XIII Black guy pulled out of skinhead and sat back on the bench. Skinhead pulled out of me, got up, gave me and the black guy a strange look, then put his towel around his waist and left. I went to follow him, but black guy told me to stay. "He's probably pissed at me for fucking him. Give him some time." He said and told me how skinhead had been annoying the other guys in the sauna, fucking all the new guys, and acting like he owned the place. To teach him a lesson they came up with the plan use lube with tea in it because they knew it would make him want to get fucked. I didn't really understand how tea could do that, but all I could think about was that I was alone with the studly black guy who was hotter even that the perfect guy I was supposed to meet. Without thinking I reached out and started fondling black guys soft cock, feeling how heavy his balls were in my hands. "You really love cock, don't you?" he laughed. "What's your story?" I blushed, and told him the whole story the perfect guy who told me to meet him here but didn't show up. Black guy asked how I knew it wasn't a fake profile? I told him I hadn't even considered that, it seemed real. He said, wow, I thought you were some kind of chaser looking to get fucked bare by a poz guy? I told him "no way", and he looked at me and said "but you saw skinhead's tattoo, right?" And I said I thought it was a cool tattoo. When he told me what the tattoo was and what it meant, I was in shock. I felt sick and stupid, and I burst in to tears. Black guy hugged me close and told me not to worry, I could go to the doctor tomorrow and get PEP and that should stop me from getting HIV. "Really?" I sniffed, looking up in to his handsome face. "Really" he said, pulling me up on to his lap and kissing me. "I feel so stupid" I said. "Relax, you are just a horny kid and you made a mistake. But since you are here you might as well enjoy it, right?" he said, shifting slightly and I felt his cock, hard again, sliding between my ass cheeks. "I want you to fuck me, but I am afraid it might hurt" I said. Then I noticed there was still some lube "maybe if we use the special lube?" "Seriously?!" he said. "Sure" I said, grabbing the lube and shoving as much as I could in my hole. Then I raised myself up and placed black guys cockhead at my already swollen pucker and gently lowered myself down. This cock was even bigger and thicker than skinhead's. I could feel the head stretching my hole wider than ever, but thanks to the lube it wasn't painful. As I forced the head through my ass ring, black guy groaned in pleasure. "So tight!" he purred. "Feels so good." Encouraged, I pushed myself slowly down until I had the whole thing inside and I was sitting on his hips. I felt so stuffed full I couldn't believe it. Black guy waiting a moment and then started to push in and out, just a little at first, but gradually more and more. He leant forward, placing my back on the bench and lifting my legs so he could fuck me harder pulling his cock almost all the way out and then slamming back in. "You like it hard?" he grunted. "Oh fuck yeah" I groaned as he pounded my ass. After about 10 minutes fucking me on my back he flipped me over on to my stomach and started to pound my ass from behind. The feeling was even better than when skinhead was in me, I felt stretched and stuffed, but I just wanted more. After a few more minutes I could here him breathing more heavily and then he said "Gonna cum! Gonna fill your ass with my load!" and I felt his cock throbbing and pulsing as he unloaded deep inside me.

Nothing wrong with being bi or gay. It started out for me just looking at pictures of guys in underwear pic's when I was a teen , then I got married at 19 and when she would go to her parents out of town all I would think about is what it would be like to suck a cock. After about a year I couldn't stand it and went down to a park where gay men would hang out in cars and give and receive blow jobs. For me that's all it took and I was off and running. I was divorced from her about six months later but was afraid to admit to anyone I was bi or gay and lived a life of lies for the next seven years. I was remarried and spending a lot of time at the ABS having sex with other men then going home and lying about what I was doing, it was the worst time of my life. I remember the night I came out to her figuring the marriage would be over. To make a long story short were still married today and that was thirty seven years ago. For me there was nothing worse than lying to someone you care deeply about.

Part 6 I had been working in the other room for some time when I heard the craziest noises from the master bedroom. There were moans and a deep wet sucking type of sound and had to ask if everything was alright while I walked back to see. My cumslut spoke out everything was fine just as I got a glimpse of him reaming his hole with a massive dildo. I could see my poz cum load frothing up all around his wrecked hole. I got instantly hard and could feel a huge upswelling of poz cum forming deep in my balls. I did not want to touch myself because I would have blasted it all right then but knew where it belonged. I have no idea what this dude's situation is but I was determined he would be my poz baby carrier before I was done finishing this install job. He seemed to lose interest or maybe he accomplished what he wanted since he slowed down and pulled that huge fake cock out of his ass it was slicked with cum and blood and set it down. He seemed to savor the moment and I decided I was going to elevate it all. I quickly entered the room without so much as a notice and grabbed him by his ankles, forced him onto his back, lifted his legs and slid my throbbing poz cock deep in him in one go. He never so much as got a chance to process what was going on before I was already thrusting in him like mad. "Yeah you fucking dumb neg bitch! You want me to own you and knock you up!" I said as I laid massive deep hard strokes into him. Making sure I kept him loose and stretched. He moaned out that he really wanted to be taken care of, treated like a bitch, would take care of our poz offspring, he would do anything to have me keep him full of my poz load. With that my mind went to the perviest thing I could think to do, to see just how far he really wanted to take this. I pulled out of him suddenly with a huge slurp sound seeing a huge whipped up load on my cock and his gaped hole. He whimpered and I told him to shut up and listen. He complied. I told him what we were going to do and if he so much as hesitated at any point I was quitting the job right then and ensure he never gets a load from me again. Part 7 later

Jockstrap with a cocklet cage, right sir?

fuck i need a poz dom bf to collar me and knock me up asap

Overlay a map of Democrats

Anyone know who this is?

Again, all my posts here are 100% real. Typically Friday’s are when I dress up and head to the City as Jessica. Today I decided to skip and just see what I could find around my small town since I’d already taken 2 anonymous loads just a couple nights ago. It was pretty quiet on Grindr but I hit one young guy up who lived in the nearest small college town some 50 miles away. He was down to drop a load in my ass so we decided to make it happen. I was freshly clean so at the proposed time I headed to his house. On the drive I contemplated how I wanted this to go down. Lately I’ve not been too keen on sucking cock unless they were incredibly large or bbc. So I ask the young man via Grindr what all he wanted to do. His reply was “you’re just a hot ass for me to dump my load in”. Well that answered my question and also made me incredibly excited. Upon reaching his house I knocked and was let in. I didn’t even look at his face. I could see his room in his little one bedroom house and went straight to it. I dropped my jeans and lubed my fingers and stuck three directly up my ass. I bent over and rested my hands on the bed as he unbuckled his jeans and put his slightly bigger than average raw cock straight up my ass! Immediately he started working my boipussy like he was fucking some back alley whore, fucking my ass like there was no tomorrow. I was encouraging him to tear my ass and rip me apart and he certainly tried. He’d slow down to keep from cumming them go back to fucking me hard. He fucked me so good for a good 15 minutes when I felt him lean forward and tighten. I felt his cock twitch just a little and then a little warmth in my ass. I knew then he has shot his load into my guts. Without a word I pulled up my jeans and left.

PART 4 He got a look in his eye that I craved. Carnal. He told me to lie back and I obeyed. He lay on top of me and we started to make out fiercely. His hands roamed my body past my cock which was not erect and to my hole. the second I felt him at my ass I knew I needed it. I craved it. He knew what I needed and well and pushed his fingers in. My ass was ready for it and more. he fingered me and I greedily took it all while enjoying every heightened sensation. He moved around and his beautiful hard cock was in my mouth. I got him nice and wet, then he turned me over onto my stomach with force, pulled my ass up and shoved his prick in my awaiting hole. It was heaven. I was luxuriating in the feel of his rough fuck. The next hour flashed by in hot moment of other worldly pleasure. Flesh. Cock. Hole. Cum. It felt like moments, it felt like a lifetime. I felt so connected to this man who had opened my world. Around halfway through the second hour he said the sexiest thing: He asked, holding up the syringe "are you ready for more?". "Yes" He set to work prepping round two and then tied off my arm again, I was transfixed on the process this time. I felt connected to the rig as it flashed, loved the slow urgency with which he emptied the contents into my vein. Again a mischievous grin crossed his face "A bit more this time." he untied the tourniquet and said simply "Enjoy, pig" My ears started ringing. I couldn't breath. A cough- the feeling of complete freedom, horniness and pleasure overtook me. I touched myself all over. I was right next to him. touching my cock and staring at his needle like it was porn. Watching him slam was better than any of the slam videos I'd seen. It made me hot all over to see his blood register and I undid his tourniquet. He coughed and as soon as that cleared grabbed me and we kissed as if it was the only thing in the world, because for us it was. Passion like I'd never experienced, we quickly moved through what had up til then been in my repetoir and started to play with new things. Hours passed in a frenzied, naked, carnal moment. Things started to calm down a little and I came back into my body enough to realize the time. Shit- My room mate would be home from work soon. I had to end this, had to get him out. She couldn't see me like this, she couldn't know. But... I wasn't ready to be done. The thought alone filled me with yearning. I had just been set free by this gorgeous man with his taut body and beautiful ways. I told him my room mate would be home soon and he'd have to go. As if sensing my hesitation he said "Do you want me to go?" "No, but..." "Do you want to go with me?" "Go with you to where?" He reached out his hand "Do you want to go with me?" he asked with more authority. Less question and more command. I was a smart guy I thought through the possibilities of where this could go. I knew I should have said no. I knew I was in over my head already and too much adventure for one day... who knew what would happen. But in spit of all this rational thought... "Yes." "Yes, what?" "I want to go with you... sir" End part 4 Two more parts to go for this particular story

I have this true story posted on another site. It was written and experienced by me. I hope you enjoy it, I certainly did. This is a true story of what happened at my local sauna recently. I had finished a couple of night shifts and after a decent sleep, awoke feeling a bit randy. With nothing planned for the day, I decided to head to the sauna for some play. I’m a 6ft bear, can’t really call myself a cub any longer. I’m nice and hairy with round hairy arse and a 7 inch cock which has done me well over the years. I arrived around 4, got ready and had a wander. I spotted a regular fuck buddy, don’t know his name but we always fuck together and always bareback. He’s about the same age, late 40’s and with a lovely thick 9 inch cock on him. We made eye contact and met in the dark room. Before long his cock was up my arse, pumping away. This attracted some attention, including a tall well built lad with a similar sized cock on him, only a bit thicker. I’ve fucked with this guy before, he’s a dominant top who just likes to fuck and take charge. My buddy grunted and blew the first load of the day into my arse. Obviously turned on by this, the new lad dragged me into a cubicle. With me perched on the mattress, in rammed his big fat cock, bareback of course. I don’t like condoms, nothing like having random cocks cum up my arse, one after the other. I could sense he was getting into a rhythm, really taking his time in the buildup. Now this lad likes to be watched, so he opens the cubicle door to attract attention. I was too busy concentrating on the hammering I was getting to pay much attention, but I could sense someone by the doorway. After a good 10 minutes of frantic fucking, I could hear him building up to a climax. Then all of a sudden, bam, in shot a dozen squirts of cum. It was one of those ejaculations where I could feel the pulsatile contractions of his cock. Not only could I feel it, but I could hear him moaning as he came. He left his cock in for a minute, and then slowly pulled out. I heard a splash of cum fall onto the floor and could feel a stream of warm cum dribble down my leg. My arse was well and truly filled. Just as he left the cubicle, a young lad appeared beside me. He’d obviously witnessed what had happened and wanted some for himself. He was hard as a rock, maybe 8 inches, not quite as thick but had a beautiful upward bend in his cock. I love sloppy seconds, both as a giver and a receiver, seems like my new friend did too. He came into the cubicle and I reversed onto his eager cock, bareback again. He didn’t need any more prompting and over the next couple of minutes, fucked my already stretched, cum filed hole with that intensity that young guys have. He came with an almost primeval grunt as he filled me up, leaving me dripping cum onto the floor yet again. I was so randy by this point, wandering the corridors with cum dripping down my leg. I just had to find a hole of my own to blow into. Thankfully the sauna was still quite busy so I wandered into the dark room again. In the sling was an older, stocky daddy type, chunky but not too large and a nice pert arse on him, bingo. I was rock hard and came up to him, my cock pointing at his hole. I saw he had a sachet in his hand, and I thought it was a condom, but no, just lube. He lubed up his eager hole and in went my cock. Now I like to take my time when I fuck a guy, I like to feel every inch of his hole. This one was smooth and velvety, tight but not too tight, just perfect. I had some poppers with me and took a few sniffs, building up the sensation. I love to fuck a guy on a sling, staring into his eyes as I fuck the life out of him. I fucked his raw hole for as long as I could, but I couldn’t keep it in any longer. I could still feel the cum dribbling out of my own arse, which just added to the desperation to cum. I took another couple of sniffs of poppers and blew my week long load into his receptive man cunt. I kept my cock in his hole as it slowly softened and recovered for one of my most intense orgasms. I slapped his arse as I pulled my cock out. As I did so, I heard a splatter of my cum fall onto the floor.

Love that! that's such a turn on passing someone later and not knowing if they bred the hell out of you earlier. A smile from a passerby... is he being friendly or did he wreck your hole before and knows what a cumdump you are....

Like you I was trained to take cock raw of whatever top my ex wanted me to take. as a bottom your reward is getting pumped with jizz

Any suggestions for a guy on a budget? Lol

It’s always been a fantasy of mine to be used durning a sporting event . Just on my knees going dick to dick passing out beers and snacks

I’m in Sitges Spain and I’ve been to a bar (the XXL) with a backroom for the past two nights. I got bred on both occasions. The first was by a good looking guy who may have been a light skinned Moroccan, very sexy. It was a frustrating cruise area with some narrow dark areas and a quite well lit large room with a circular bed and sling. For about an 2 hours (this was now 2am) guys had been circulating around or just standing and no action - I had done my best to pep things up by taking off my pants and just wearing a jock but most guys remained fully clothed. I had left in disgust for 30 minutes to try cruising the dark beach but had been warned off by a cop. I returned to the backroom and about 20 other guys just stood around the large room. I caught the Arab guy’s eye and we moved to the bed and I sucked his night hard uncut cock. He then fucked me bending over the bed in front of the other guys and deposited a huge load in me. On the 2nd night I concentrated on the narrow dark areas. Eventually I was rewarded with a hot session in a tightly packed narrow space standing up. Despite the confines we kissed and both sucked watch other before he started to enter me. He had a very long cock and it hurt quite a bit on the first thrust. I had to manoeuvre to try to wriggle down and get some lube from my pants pocket on the floor but managed to lube him and we were back fucking. Although we were standing I could feel the exquisite pain of him reaching my 2nd ring. Suddenly he stopped and squeezed by other guys and left. I assumed he had come and a big load in me confirmed this later. On both occasions I held the loads in as I walked 15 minutes back to my holiday rental apartment. I then tried videoing the cum coming out on both my iPad and phone. If you’d like to see the videos they’re on my twitter account at @traveller_gay. It turned out the first load was so large it gushed out and flooded the lens on my iPad which went murky. I licked and swallowed that cum and filmed the rest coming out but with my phone had got a photo of the gusher by chance.

Your first name (or a name you'll respond to): Rob Your cell number (for texts and voice calls): 828-360-1862 A location (be at least as specific as a zip code): 28906, Western North Carolina/Murphy Times you're generally not available: Mon-Fri 2p-11p Age: 33  Height: 5’8  Weight: 220  Ethnicity: white I'm a bottom, I love big dicks. Love getting bred. Anon/blindfolded is my favorite. Me getting fucked by a buddy of mine: https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5c7b936d346b7

Chris Brown is hot as fuck -

Richard Madden aka Robb Stark in Game of Thrones. And he can wear the harness ?

Good question, great idea for a thread! As usual I agree with EQP, but....there IS such a thing as a hate-fuck. And I could easily hate-fuck Paul Ryan. Ditto Kris Kobach. Oh, and that new congressman, the one with the eye patch, from Texas, who was on SNL....he's way sexy. Although to be fair I don't know that I "hate" him. I hate his party, and his positions, but if he was trying to get liberals like me to like him a little bit by showing that he has a good sense of humor and can laugh at himself, then it totally worked. As far as celebrities, that's easy. Ryan Seacrest. He's such a tool I feel like I'm supposed to hate him but I've had a secret, guilty pleasure crush on him for years. I want to lick him where he....well, I want to lick him.

"Yeah, very nice." His finger slid between my buttocks and began to rub lube into my hole, even as the three of them carried on a conversatio. "You ok, Fred?" Said Sid to the man he was fucking. "Yeah, good." Came the reply. "But I'll have to go soon and get some shopping for dinner." The third man released my cock and said. "The local supermarket has some good offers." It was bizarre. There I was, shorts around my ankles being sucked for the first time by a man old enough to be my grandfather, and in the middle of a conversation about shopping! The third man, whose name was Frank, held up the bottle to me. "Take a sniff?" He said. "It's only poppers." Not wanting to be ungrateful, I sniffed the bottle and felt the poppers explode in my head, my heart pound and a dangerous lack of inhibition sweep over me. "Yep," Said Fred. "I better get on." He leaned forward until Sid's cock slid out of him, then got off the bed and began to wipe his arse with a tissue. "Same time next week?" Said Sid. As he spoke, he casually pulled me in front of him and pushed me forward until I was kneeling on the bed, arse upraised. My head was spinning as he began to push his cock into me. "Well, ask Bill to make some tea on the way out, would you?" His words were so casual, so ordinary, I was confused and unwilling to say anything as he was sliding his bare cock deliciously up me.

Thank you for all the kind comments and I appreciate your interest inn this story, initially it had just been written as a one-off…but as you like it so much I have expanded the story. Hope you like it? 2. Sore, yet wanting more. My ass lips remained puffy and swollen and my hole deliciously ached for days after my raw sexploits and I already knew I was hooked on getting more condomless breeding. For the next week every time it began to get dark my ass twitched wanting to be filled again and I thought about going back to the layby to see if Kyle or Jay and Renton really were there every night as they boasted? My hole won out and of course, I gave in to my craving for more Big Black Cock and getting bred raw again…I was hooked and had to check that layby out. So, I cleaned out douching all the mucus and debris away until the water ran clear, jock strap on under shorts and threw a singlet on, hopped in my car and was soon pulling up in an empty layby…but didn’t have to wait long before a pair of headlights pulled up and were switched off. My heart was thumping in my chest…I wasn’t sure of the etiquette here so pressed twice on the brake pedal to flash my brake lights. In the darkness peering into my rear-view mirror I could just about make out what appeared to be a rear door being opened and someone getting out, but no passenger light came on to confirm it. What to do? “Fuck it” I thought, “go investigate that’s what you are here for boy!” I got out and locked my car and made my stumbling way into the pitch black wooded area and felt a beefy hand grab me. “I kinda knew you’d be back someday soon, you ready for more black Daddy Dick to own and mark your lily white hole.” “Kyle is that you?” “Who the fuck else would it be dumbo” as he rubbed his meaty hand through my hair, then whistled…a few seconds later I heard doors opening and closings quickly followed by rustling in the undergrowth as Jay and Renton emerged to be either side of me and quickly put their arms around me and hugged me tight. It felt really good to have their hot bodies pressed up hard to me. To my dismay I found myself getting hard at their touch and the masculine musky fragrance of their bodies. The two of them grabbed my hands to rub over their bulging crotches and I found them both to be rock hard and without a word moved in to kiss me. I opened my mouth and let their tongues enter. The three of us kissed with a furious energy, our tongues exploring each other’s mouths and lips. Their saliva mixing with mine. Oh Fuck. I knew how this was going to end and I wanted it, badly. Kyle not wishing to be left out came up behind me and pressed his enormous hard cock into my butt crease as he whispered in my ear. “I want to fuck you deep and hard” as he ripped my shorts and jock strap down, my now freed hard cock sprang up splat against my stomach in a shower of precum as I heard him unbuckle his belt and undo his fly buttons as his jeans now fell to the ground. I pushed my ass onto his raging cock and he sniggered, “I guess that means yes please then?” I wriggled free of Jay & Renton, pulled down the front of Jay’s trackies and took his massive member into my mouth, working my tongue over his fat dickhead and playing with his ample foreskin swirled my tongue around the sensitive ridge of his gland. It tasted great and as I swallowed as much of his cock as I could my nose brushed his wiry pubic hair greeting me with a strong smell of dried piss and sweat, a wonderful aphrodisiac. Soon we were all naked in an enthusiastic foursome, I alternated between sucking their dicks as Kyle busied himself slurping on my needy asshole, as he immediately stuck his head between my ass cheeks and started working his tongue into my hungry hole. Rimming is something I love and Kyle knew how to eat ass. He kept going for a few minutes until my ass was nicely wet and loose. I was beyond rock hard, leaking precum like a broken faucet. Kyle looked up from between my legs and said. “I want to fuck you and load you up with my toxic bugs real bad.” Jay & Renton replied in unison “And then we can fuck you and get sloppy seconds and thirds.” All I could do was moan out approval as my mouth was spread wide around Jay’s slab of diseased meat. Kyle then kicked my legs wide and with his hand on my shoulder bent me further forwards and downwards until I gagged and my exposed quivering hole was slapped by his plumb like cockhead against my spit lubed hole a couple of times and as if by magic it opened fully allowing him to ease his way in. I was surprised how good his massive uncut cock felt sliding up into my hole stretching and rearranging the walls of my anal passage to the maximum as his deathstick slid in. “Fuck!” he said, “Your still pretty tight” He pushed harder and was soon balls deep in my hungry chute. He started fucking hard and fast and deep, slamming against my ass with every stroke, It didn’t take long for him to get close. As his breathing got heavier he eased up almost pulling all the way out teasing my ass lips as his bulbous cock head tugged on them on the out stroke then slammed back in balls deep. He did this a few times then speeded up again and I knew what I was about to get. “I’m gonna cum in your slut hole.” He barked not asking where I wanted him to cum, he was simply telling me exactly what he was going to do. “Gonna breed you with my toxic poz cum. Gonna knock you up boy.” My legs shook upon hearing this and I just lost it spraying Jay or Renton’s throat with my cum as I’d lost track of who was where in the darkness. “Yeah that’s it baby boy your hole is milking my Poz cargo right out of my balls, your body willingly wanting to accept my life changing payload!” He thrust hard and bottomed deep in my hole which continued to spasm around his hot hard flesh as I felt his poisonous cum flood my battered bowels. Pushed further forward I was fully impaled on the rock-hard cock buried down my throat but not for long as they wasted no time trading places, as Kyle roughly yanked out walked around in front of me and presented his still hard slimy cock for me to suck clean. I could taste my own ass juices, his diseased cum and a knowing coppery taste that I just wanted to share. I stood up and kissed him deeply to his obvious delight. “I’m going to fuck you raw just as a slut like you deserves.” I recognised Jay’s voice. He stepped closer and I felt his cockhead press against my gaping hole, I wrapped my arms around to hug Kyle, stopped moving and arched my ass outwards to let Jay enter. His cock is a little smaller than Kyle so his dick slipped easily up my stretched cum slick chute. “Hey, I want to fuck too and since you already have a dick in Whitey Boy here I guess I’ll have to fuck you.” Renton said to Jay as he slammed in to him to start a daisy chain fuck. Jay obviously loved the feeling and stimulation as I felt his cock become Super Hard as he simultaneously began fucking himself on Renton’s ample cock whilst sawing in and out of me. Despite being stretched and battered I still knew how to work all the muscles in my anal canal to give him the maximum pleasure as he thrust in and out even harder making me moan out loud which only served to spur Jay on even more. All too soon the stimulation was too much as he thrust home burying his cock to the hilt, I groaned with pleasure, he started fucking hard with long strokes almost pulling all the way out and then slamming back in. “You still have a nice tight ass for me to wreck. You like this?” “Yeah. Give it to me hard. I need it so badly.” I replied without thinking or hesitation, caught up in the moment and to hell with the consequences. “Yeah slut. I know you’ve wanted this. Wanted IT for a long time. You bug chasing slut!” I gave in to the pleasure and mumbled in agreement as he picked up the pace once more. Now Jay was pulling all the way out before thrusting in again. I could hear that he was starting to breath heavily and was obviously on the point of no return. I just pushed back my ass against his crotch in an attempt to take him as deep as possible. As I did I felt his cock start to swell and throb and I heard him whisper, “Take my dirty load, you dirty slut” and he started shooting deep into my guts pulse after pulse of Poz cum spraying my ripped up innards. Once he was done, he waited a few moments before pulling out. Then he too walked around in front of me and presented his slimy cock for me to suck clean, which I greedily slurped down cleaning his dick of my ass juices and his cum which also had that tell-tale coppery taste to it. As soon as Jay had finished shooting and pulling out Renton was lining his huge and now very wet cock up and sliding straight into me as it was already open and slick from the two loads in my ass. Renton evidently had been close a few times while fucking Jay, as it only took a few thrusts before he bred me as well. “Gonna poz you, you slut.” I felt him ram against my hole as he started to cum flooding me with a torrent of Poz spooge. Now that I had been well and truly broken in, the three of them spent ages sucking and fucking me until they had all cum a few times and I had multiple loads deeply planted in my destroyed ass. These guys were insatiable. My hole throbbed and ached as did my cock and balls and my throat felt raw from all the cock I had taken and now I couldn’t continue anymore so bade my farewell. I couldn’t be bothered with my clothes so staggered in to my car naked and drove home leaving the driver’s seat with a cummy stain as a souvenir of this night’s nocturnal activities. Was it the only souvenir of the night or had the deed already been done that first time?

Thanks for all the comments. I am actually working on a continuation of this story. Some inspiration had just cum back to me to work on this story.

After I'd cum, I was overcome with shame and disgust at what I'd done, and quickly showered and left. Bill grinned at me from behind the desk and said "see you soon, you dirty fucker!" but I vowed never to retun. For the next couple of weeks I was anxious waiting for the flu to hit or for some other symptoms to show. But nothing happened and and eventually I went for a test which came back negative. My relief was also mixed with a sense of disappointment. I thought about this and realised that I was a whore after all, and becoming pregnant from some filthy old man was the ultimate turn-on. I tried to resist it, but the need was in me now, like I was possessed or something, and I couldn't stop thinking about it. Eventually, I gave in and found myself back at the sauna, handing my money to Bill as he winked at me. "Knew you'd be back," He said. " Carrying someone's baby yet?" I shook my head and he raised an eyebrow. "Is that what you want?" I blushed and gave a brief nod and he slapped my shoulder. "Knew you were a dirty sod!" He said. "We've a few more in today - couple of guys I 'ain't seen for a while 'cos they've been sick. They don't take meds so their immune system is fucked." He watched as my eyes widened with shock which was what he intended. He held out a locker-key and said "So, do you still want it, mate?" I paused, aware of the blood pounding in my ears. This was it. Decision time. I breathed deeply and took the key, heading to the lockers with his laughter behind me. I undressed, showered and went upstairs. To my surprise, it was very dark and I had to feel ahead of myself to stop banging into a wall. I found out later this was Bill's idea - to turn off the lights so you couldn't see anyone, only feel anonymous naked bodies and stiff cocks with no idea what their owners looked like or how disgusting their bodies might be. I turned a corner and passed a cubicle based on the gap in the wall my hands encountered. As I started to pass it, someone touched me. I jumped and then stood still, allowing the hand to slide over my thigh and squeeze my stiffening cock. Another hand emerged from the darkness and began to probe my hole. "Nice!" The voice was a harsh, dry whisper and another voice gave a low chuckle of appreciation. I shivered with fear and lust, not knowing what to do. "Come inside!" Whispered the voice and strong, boney fingers grabbed my wrist and started to pull me into the black cubicle. I almost resisted, but something in me responded to their touch, and I allowed them to pull me inside. Instantly, a thin, boney body was pressed against me and lips crushed to mine. I moaned as the tongue entered my mouth and couldn't help putting my arms around him. His body was thin without an ounce of fat. Then someone else got behind me and I felt a surprisingly large and stiff cock pressed against my bottom. "Mmm, fresh meat!" Said the man behind me, and I realised this must be the couple who weren't on meds. I felt the hairs rise on my neck and the fear, but the lips stayed crushed to mine, the tongue slithering disgustingly in my mouth. Then the cubicle was filled with the smell of poppers and a bottle was pushed against my nose. "Breathe deep, darling." Said the man as he released my lips. I had no choice and took a deep lungful, feeling my body mellt and my head swim. A thick finger covered in lube ploughed up me from behind and I gasped with shock. He began to move it slowly in and out and I began to moan with pleasure. " That's it, open up for daddy" The voice behind me was croaky and I reached back to feel skinny legs and a bulging belly above his enormous cock. I groaned in surrender as the poppers were thrust at me again and suddenly a hand pushed my shoulders forward and down and the huge cock began to slide into me. I cried out with pain and pleasure as he slid it home until his paunch was pressed agianst my buttocks. "Shhh!" whispered the man in front of me "Let him in, there's a good boy" I could only sob with surrender as he began to fuck me, and gratefully took the other man's cock in my mouth and steadied myself on his thighs against the brutal thrusts. "That's it, matey. Let old Harold fuck your sweet arse! You're gonna get what you want, don't worry. Open your hole for him." I gasped, but reached back to pull my buttocks apart so the big cock could get in deep. Harold grunted with pleasure as his movements became more jerky in my hole. "Oh yeah, gonna give you a baby you little slut!" Then he gasped and grunted like a pig, forcing himself into me and I felt his cock throbbing as he spurted. "Oh, you dirty bastard! It's in you now!" Said the man in front of me. "Don't fight it!" I groaned and crouched there, accepting the cock spurting toxic cum into me as the man stroked my head tenderly. At last, the enormous cock slid out and I felt the wetness around my anus. "Your turn, Peter." They turned me round and Peter slide his cock into me as Harold pushed my head down to clean his cock. Suddenly, I had a clear image of myself sandwiched between their diseased bodies and the tears splashed from my eyes at my depravity even as I pushed back and squeezed my hole around the thrusting cock, eager to milk more poz cum from him and get myself knocked up.

Have looked at this site for some time now and decided it was time to join and seek contacts. Neg bottom / versatile and switched to barebacking recently with the 3 tops i already get fucked by. What a joy it is receiving the gift from a top, i should have done this long time before, I guess I have found my purpose in life: getting loads in my pussy. I've now completley gotten rid of those stupid rubbers (was a relief to throw the remaining ones away!) and want to take more loads from fuckers, POZ me up! contact me by emaill: homo1964@outlook.com if you want to convert me.

Being POZ means a lot of things. First off, jerk off and get it out of your system for a second and if need be, rub a second one out if you are still horny. The most important thing you can do here is think with the head on your shoulders and not your dick head. For starters, you will have a communicable virus, one that by definition will eventually kill you*. HIV can come with a lot of complications. It can also be something that never bothers you. Point is, you won't know until you actually get the virus. ART has come a long way since its inception in the early 90s. The side effects aren't as bad, they are more effective today than ever before and you potentially could live a very normal life provided you are religious with your therapy. The alternative is to not take ART until you CD4s get into dangerous territory (around 250-300) but there's a lot of medical theory regarding latent HIV storage, artificial aging, memory loss (debated but not debunked) and so on. you are also at a very high risk of getting opportunistic infections that don't bother 99% of the population if you aren't on ART and your immune system is further compromised. Or you could be that 4-5% that is a LTNP or even that less than 1% that is a controller (I'm on the road to being classified as an elite controller in a few years as an example). The fact is, you just don't know. Personally, I'm less afraid of HIV than I am of HPV and the bacterial family of infections. Just know that if you have HIV, some bacterial infections are not only harder to treat, they hit you harder as well. On the flip side, once you have HIV that's it, you have it and no longer need to sweat about it or spend time worrying if you are getting POZed or not. Only you can decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing and nobody else can really make that decision for you. Again using myself as an example, I wasn't seeking HIV nor did I really want it but by fucking a stripper bareback I consented to the risk of catching it. I now know how that story turned out. So understand that if you fuck bare and moreso if you take loads in your ass, you are consenting to the risk of being infected. Make no mistake though, it will change your life. How is up to you and those around you. A lot of folks in your life may not understand so that makes disclosure a dicey thing. Not sure about your kids and their age but it is something your ex-wife could use against you (it's a stretch but it happens). Again, just empty your nuts once or twice and really have some serious self-reflection time. Think about how this could affect all the facets of your life. Consider the cost of ART if you go down that path (even with insurance it's expensive as fuck) and if you can be religious about keeping your regimen. If you conclude that you can live with this and the possible side effects both financially and from a health standpoint, become a little whore piggy and get your brains fucked out and enjoy the ride. Just don't let your cock think for you (hypocrite here, god knows I let it think for me all the fucking time) when it comes to this very important decision. There is no going back. *By definition, HIV untreated will kill you. Using Magic Johnson as a very public example, however, ART is very effective and survival rates are in excess of 20 years now (because that's the upper limit of how long ART has been available). Beyond that is still unknown but just keep in mind that HIV is still the path to AIDS and with HIV can come other health complications.