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Since I was a child I lived in the same neighborhood, with the same neighbors. I played on the street with the usual people, until we grew up and moved away. All the houses in the neighborhood had a child my age, except that of the neighbor on the right, who lived alone. Everyone said he was gay, so no one came close to him. But I always thought they were envious, because he had the biggest house in the region, with a pool and everything. My parents always treated him well, invited him to my birthday parties and he gave me great gifts, so I was always courteous to him too. When I was fourteen, my mother was diagnosed with cancer, and it was Pablo, the neighbor, who took care of me while my father was in the hospital with her. In the two years that followed until the death of my mother, we created a bond almost like father and son. At that time, I already knew that he was really gay, I had met some of his boyfriends, and he was the first person to whom I told that I was also gay. What I didn't told him was that I had a secret crush on him, after all, a skinny teenager like me would never have a chance with a mature, 36-year-old man, wealthy and well resolved like him. I had already spent countless afternoons in the pool at Pablo's house, and when he went swimming with me, I would look at his strong, hairy body, with that big volume in his trunks and all the tattoos he had on his body. He told me to wear swim trunks, but I always wore shorts, so he wouldn't notice my erection. My father was very depressed after my mother's death and started drinking, so whenever I could, I would run away to Pablo’s. He had even given me a copy of his key, so I could come in and watch TV or use the computer when he was gone working. One day, as usual, I went to his house during his working hours, thinking it would be empty. I was starting to settle in the living room when I heard a groaning noise coming from his room. I went there in silence and came across a scene that left my jaw dropping. Pablo was fucking another man with all the pressure. The guy was under him, in a chicken position, while Pablo fucked him mercilessly. His hairy, juicy ass was in front of me, as were his huge balls. The guy moaned and screamed like he was in paradise. For a moment, I thought the man under him had seen me, because he whispered something in Pablo's ear after looking at the door. But I was well hidden in the shades and they just kept fucking, without looking in my direction. I was looking at that scene for some time, my dick exploding in my underwear, when I heard Pablo saying: “Do you want my cum?” ”Yes, I really want it”, the other man shouted in ecstasy. “And what kind of cum is it?”, asked Pablo. “It's poz cum.” "Say what you want then," ordered my neighbor. “I want you to poz me, to fill me with HIV.” Hearing that was strange. First, because I didn't know that my neighbor had HIV. Second, the other guy was getting fucked without a condom on purpose, literally begging to be infected. A few seconds after that, I heard Pablo howling, and I knew he was coming inside the passive's ass, injecting him with his virus-contaminated semen. I turned away in silence, left his house and ran to mine. My cock was still hard and drooling in my underwear, so I ran to the bathroom and touched myself remembering the scene I had just witnessed. I came as I never had in my life, I had to restrain myself from screaming otherwise I would get my dad's attention. I didn't fully understand why the guy wanted to be infected with a virus that had no cure, but I realized how that would feel in sex. Because it was bigger than just sex, they were creating a bond that would last until the end of their lives, something totally irreversible. I never mentioned any of that to anyone, obviously, because people would find it strange and try to get me away from Pablo. I continued to act normally with him, but in a way our relationship was no longer the same, because I knew his secret. The more the time passed, the more I understood the fetish that man had to be pozzed by my neighbor. It was literally putting your life in the hands of the other, and I didn't know a better person than my neighbor to have that kind of trust. I started researching the subject on the internet and discovered that there was a whole community with this type of fetish. The more videos I watched, the more I became horny about it. I even lost track of how many handjobs I gave myself imagining my neighbor doing that to me. It was in these researches that I discovered that a tattoo that he had just above the swimsuit mark meant that he was positive and that he was proud of it. One day, when we were sitting by the pool, I got some courage and said: “I really like your tattoos, when I turn 18, I want to get some done.” "Tattooing is something that when you do the first one, you get addicted," he said. “Would you be upset if I had one just like yours?”, I asked. “Which one?” he wanted to know. "The one over the swim trunks," I said innocently. “I think it's very beautiful.” He smiled a little condescendingly, as if I had no idea what I was talking about and said: “That one has a very special meaning for me, someday I’ll explain it to you.” I didn't ask anything because I already knew what it meant, and he closed the matter too. But I realized that from that day on he started looking at me differently, as if he were evaluating me. At that time, I was starting to gain some muscle, because I was going to the gym and my body was starting to develop as well. There was hair growing in corners that I never imagined I could have it, and I left everything to be natural, just as I had seen that Pablo was. I thought he could be evaluating me in that matter, seeing the changes in my body, but he never said anything. Time passed and our relationship remained the same as always. It was childish of me to still hope to be with a man twenty years older than me, who thought about me as if I was his son more than anything.

This is part 1 of a fictional story. It's fairly raunchy and filthy so read the tags before proceeding. Subsequent parts will be based on reader's desires so feel free to leave comments, feedbacks and your most twisted kinks that you want to read going forward in this story. Today marks three years since my life changed for the better. When you read my story going forward, you might argue if I'm truly better off. It would be a valid argument except what you wouldn't understand is that, secretly, this is exactly what I had wanted all my life and more. But I'm getting ahead of myself. August 2017 (3 years ago) My life was awesome. Back then, I was Ian Connelly, the successful CMO of one of the largest consulting firms in the world. At 35, I was rich, successful and the poster boy for American capitalism. I had played by the rules, worked my ass off and had achieved everything I had set out to do. People loved me, they wanted to be with me, they wanted to be me, they looked up to me and craved my company in their life. The other advantage of success was the constant availability of sex. Women, men, trans, queer- whatever I was in the mood for, a few phone calls and I could have someone delivered to my door. I could do what I want with little accountability and by god, did I love it. And yet, I wasn't truly happy. There was something I wanted but I was too afraid to seek it. Afraid of opening that door and stepping into a life I so desperately craved, and yet terrified of. I wanted to be pozzed. I wanted to be a slave. I wanted to be a poz slave. It had been a fantasy since my undergrad days. A desire that had translated to hours on the internet seeking porn and discussions that scratched that itch. And over the years, that fantasy got darker and more fucked up. I wanted to be pozzed by an ugly beast. A man far removed from society's notion of acceptable behavior who would take me in his arms and give me a place to kneel next to his feet. A man so disgusting, that the idea of him would make people shudder in disgust. His audacity for filth would be a natural barrier to any person and yet, he would do nothing to change the way he was. Just picturing someone like him would make my dick throb. That fantasy got worse over the years and it delved deeper into some very fucked up desires. I wanted to be blackmailed into getting pozzed. Blackmailed by such a man to be pozzed by him and be his slave or be outed as a closeted, repressed bug chaser sub. It was just a fantasy. Until it wasn't anymore. -- I had been browsing the internet for some pozzing videos in one of the popular HIV forums. My desires were clearly stated in my profile but despite countless messages from many guys over the years, I had never acted on them. I had fun chatting with guys, telling them what I wanted while I jerked off and blew my load. When I saw a message from a new user called 'Pig-Farmer', I figured it would be a fun way to get off. We exchanged pleasantries and a few body pics. His user name was apt because the man looked like a pig. I didn't see his face but he was clearly big, burly and hairy. Piercings and tattoos adorned his hairy body but what really piqued my interest was the scorpion tattoo on his neck and the biohazard symbol above his groin. I sent him photos of my naked muscled fuzzy front and back, with a clear shot of my parted ass cheeks and visible hole. He responded with a photo of his dick. Actually, it wasn't a dick. It was a weapon of mass destruction. Not very long (about 7-7.5 inches but wider than a beer can. Dark veins covered the length of his manhood and it all ended at a dark pink head with a frenum, ampallang, lorum and a PA (I know all about cock piercings). The sight of his cock made my mouth water and my ass throb. Then he sent me a pic of his ass and it made me lose my mind. It wasn't just that he had a furry, big ass (which he most certainly did), but it looked dirty. The sight of it, while revolting to most, made me swoon. Picturing myself between them, my tongue lapping at that disgusting beautiful hole was all I wanted and I wanted it bad. We exchanged a bunch of messages after that and I got the sense he didn't have this happen to him often when someone would seek his company despite seeing him in all his glory. He wasn't very chatty but he was unapologetically filthy. This was the start of a beautiful online friendship that lasted for two months. He would send me pics of his dirty cock, all slimy and cheesy, that would make my cock harden and ooze. In exchange, I would send him pics of my bubble butt. Sometimes, I'd be at work when he'd tell me to send him pics so I'd take off my trousers and send him ass pics, wearing business formals on top and showing off my hole. Eventually, I sent him pics of my face. He never asked for them but during the time I had been talking to him, a connection had been established. I trusted him but most importantly, I wanted him to know who I was. He never showed me his face and I didn't ask for it. Somehow, it made it hotter knowing that he could put up my pics online and I'd have no way of stopping him. After two months of regular conversations, he finally proposed a meeting. He sent me an address about an hour's drive away, far outside city limits and asked me to meet him there three days later. At first, I was scared. As long as it was online, there was an element of control but was I ready to meet someone knowing where it would end? I knew this was my only chance, to have what I had always wanted but I was nevertheless scared shitless. The thought kept bothering me until the day of our proposed meet. Yet, as scared as I was, I decided to go. The address was in a very isolated area. An abandoned factory was the only place around for miles and it seemed I was supposed to go inside. I walked up to the front door and tried to open it but it was locked. Confused, I was about to step out when the door opened and out stepped a big burly bouncer. "The fuck do you want?", he grumbled with a snarl. I was at a loss of words. What was this place and why was I told to come here? Where was my online friend? Did he prank me? Thoughts like these raced through my mind as I scrambled for words. Defeated, I turned around to leave when suddenly "Yo, come in. I know why you're here", the bouncer said. I was confused by his attitude but I decided to go inside. Once in, the door closed behind me and I found myself in a corridor. The bouncer asked me to follow him and we walked through the corridor until we came upon a large door. "Step in", he said pulling the huge door open. Inside, I found myself in a pub of some kind. Men of all kinds and ages were in there, drinking, conversing and enjoying themselves. I saw two guys drinking and chatting while rubbing each other's cock through the fabric of their pants. A rather large man was being aggressively kissed by a muscular dude who was squeezing the big man's hefty chub. A skinny dude was getting his nipples twisted by a silver fox, while getting his dick rubbed by another gentleman. I made my way towards the bar and ordered a beer. My friend was nowhere to be seen and I had zero clue as to why I was here. I downed my beer pretty quickly and ordered another, waiting for him to show up. Eventually, I realized I had been stood up and decided to call it a night. Suddenly, I felt my nipples being grabbed and twisted hard, making me moan. I felt a man's weight against my back with the smell of booze and man musk violating my nasal senses, while his hands worked my nipples. "I am glad you came boy." It was him! I tried turning around but he put more weight against me, preventing me from turning. I'm a strong guy, with years of weight training under my belt but this man was stronger, much stronger. "Just relax baby. Let me work those pig tits and you finish that beer." His words were like an aphrodisiac that calmed me down. I had a slight buzz going too, which might have helped in making me more suggestible and docile but I adhered to his words and kept sipping my drink while he played with my nipples. "You're hot, boy. Daddy's gonna like turning a hot guy into a real pig." His words went straight to my cock which started chubbing up quickly. He noticed it as one of his hands slipped down my body and rubbed my cock through my jeans. "Yeah, that's a nice cock. Looks like you're liking daddy's attention." "Fuck yeah daddy, feels so good." "Finish your drink and pay up. We are leaving boy," he said while withdrawing his hands from my nipples and cock. I downed my beer in one go and pulled up some cash when daddy stopped me. "No cash boy. Pay him with a card, Apple Pay or any other traceable shit like that." As weird as that instruction was, I did what he told me to. I pulled up my credit card and paid my tab. "Good boy. We are leaving now," he barked. He didn't wait for my answer as he walked towards the entrance door. I was frozen in place. The situation, as hot it was, was making me apprehensive. If I went with him, I was opening myself to something there was no coming back from. It was hot and part of me wanted it really bad but my conscious mind reigned supreme. I decided to slip out quietly without him noticing, saving myself from the situation I had put myself in. I waited for a few mins before slipping out. He was nowhere to be seen and I made a dash for my car. I had parked a little way off the road, away from anyone's sight, which gave me an advantage. Or, so I thought. "Going somewhere?" his voice boomed in the silent night, just as I was about to open the door to my car. "Mmm yeah, look, I gotta run. Something's come up at work," I stammered and opened the door of my car. "You sure boy?" his voice dropped a few octaves, turning into a slight whisper, as he started walking towards me. I was still facing my car when I felt him behind me. I was about to turn when I felt the sharp prick of something against my spine. It was a knife. The man had a knife to my back! My legs were shaking, I was sweating and breathing deep slow breaths, trying to stay calm. He stayed frozen too, his knife resting against my back, as the strong musky smell wafting off of him turned me on ever so slightly. Here I was, in a perpetual life and death situation, sporting a partial. At that moment, I felt truly fucked up as waves of both horniness and fear raced through my body. "Here's what's gonna happen boy. You are gonna leave your car here and you are going to come with me. Understood?" "Yes." I felt the knife pressing against my back harder as he leaned in closer to my ear. "Yes what boy?" "Yes...Yes sir." "Try again boy" "Yes..Daddy" "That's right boy. You're gonna love what Daddy has planned for you. All the fucked up shit you're too pussy to do by yourself, Daddy's gonna make you do it boy." He pulled the knife off my back and my body relaxed. I let out a deep breath to release my anxiety when I felt him push me against my car and push his weight against my back. "You don't have a choice anymore boy. If you think about leaving, you should know that this place is a known private club for poz men to meet. You used your card here, think what would happen if people found out." He pushed his crotch against my ass, letting it rest against my cheeks before continuing. "Besides, you wouldn't want Daddy to send all the naughty pics and texts to your contact now would you? What would they think of Ian, the closeted neg bug chasing pig trolling for poz dad dick on the internet." Hearing him blackmail me and use my fear against me made my cock throb and my body experienced a wave of pleasure that made me buckle. He put his arms around my front and held me steady, kissing my neck as he let me steady myself. "Relax boy, Daddy knows what you need piglet. You don't have to be scared of Daddy anymore because Daddy knows who you really are. What you really are." That's when I felt the sudden spurt of wetness expanding in the crotch area of my jeans. I had cum hands free, hard. Most importantly, I needed to do this. I was going to do this. I had no choice. --

I I had just turned 21 when I received a link from a friend of mine to join a community. The name of the site intrigued me very much precisely because I am a fan of BSDM games and master-slave roles. I signed up as a regular user and filled out all the forms. After a couple of days I received a message from a man, his online profile was very interesting 35 years old, tall, beautiful body and with very similar interests, fortunately not far from my house, just 40 minutes by car. We wrote to each other for a while and then we finally organized the first appointment. He presented himself very well, young and clean-faced. He told me that he was a medical manager of the private laboratory of infectious diseases and that in the last period they were doing many tests for medical experimentation. I immediately thought that he must be really smart and capable to play such a role. We went out a few more times before going to bed. Sex with him was very exciting and very passionate. Then one day, at the end of the appointment before returning home, he asked me and I wanted to become his private and exclusive slave, he gave me a day to think about it but in the end I accepted. He asked me to go to a hospital to get a full test for all infectious sexual diseases. The following appointment asked me to find us at an abandoned house outside the city and to bring with me the test results which obviously had given completely negative results on everything. As I went to the appointment, I wondered why he wanted to know all those things about my health status. When we saw this house in front of us, we moved the table that covered the door and entered. The place had been abandoned for a couple of years, but I saw that one door was completely new and locked with a padlock. He took the key and opened the door. The room was very simple, there was an iron bed with a mattress, a small wardrobe, a table and a couple of chairs. We sat down and took a small file of papers out of our backpack and told me to read them before signing them. It was a bondage contract and as I read it I started getting aroused. Then I got to point 13 and saw that it was written in a bolder font "13. The slave will accept without any second thoughts the high risk of multiple infections, even if these may irreversibly compromise his current state of health. " By the time I got to the end of my contract my cock was getting really hard. I started filling in the blanks and after a first hesitation, I finally decided to sign it. He smiled, took the papers, signed them and put them back in the backpack. Then he asked me how soon I was willing to start, I replied, “I'm ready even now”. He asks me to undress and lie down on the bed. In the meantime he had taken the other key and opened the iron door that was in the corner. He took out some instruments and put them on the table, then took out his backpack and took out two closed test tubes. He asked me which one I wanted to choose between: test tube no. 1 or test tube no. 2 or both. I was too excited and so I decided for both of them, he replied "excellent choice, now take this pill which is used to neutralize the acidity of your stomach, otherwise the effect will be lost". He gave me a large orange pill and I swallowed it. Then he took test tube number two and asked me to swallow it, I followed his orders. Then he asked me to turn around and relax my little hole. Then I went to test tube number one into a large needle-less syringe and pushed all the solution into my little hole. I looked at him and asked him what they were about. He took the diary inside the closet, opened a page and wrote my name on it and said "I just used your body to inoculate two cultures of Coxsackie virus A and one of Chlamydia. The tubes contain a very very large number of viruses so we don't need to wait long to see the effects " Immediately he felt dizzy and I could not control the erection of my cock, he smiled and said "I guess you like it". I asked what I should do and he told me to do absolutely nothing and that we would see each other in 5 days. On the way home I couldn't think of anything else. That night, I fell asleep right away, but the next morning ...

Part 9 - Secrets and Revelations Conrad sat in the greenhouse on the phone with Joshua he loved hearing his voice, the soft velvet tone that shrouded and cuddled his soul, making him feel special and wanted he was desperate to see him. Picturing Joshua staring in to his eyes constantly telling him how special and lucky he should feel being with him, his funny joke of owning him and how no other man could ever come close to what they shared. He was not wrong and Conrad's placid and very impressionable nature readily accepting every word that came out of Joshua's mouth. A bewitching spell that fell on him from high above slowly but ever so surely taking Conrad over, clouding his perception and only seeing how wonderful and lucky he was. "I will be home soon" Joshua said "then you will be mine again Conrad, in my arms and only I will matter". Conrad sighed in agreement "I miss you so much, miss touching you, miss you making me feel good" he replied. "I know you do Conrad, you make me feel really good and you need me" Joshua said in his teasing voice. "Need to be in bed with you Josh" Conrad replied desperate for his affection and approval. Joshua chuckled "I will fuck you senseless I have months of pent up desire waiting just for you" he said. "Stop it" Conrad replied in a dreamy voice "it is like I can already touch and feel you" he said sighing "need to be with you Josh". "Soon bairn" Joshua said very slowly "real soon. I have to go, remember your mine Conrad all mine". Joshua hung up from the call waiting for Charlie to get back from the shop before boarding the ship. He was extremely happy the way things were going with Conrad, he knew the time to strike was coming with Conrad waiting in anticipation for his return. The weekends of nothing but sex with loving dominating words he showered on him had got inside Conrad's head, impressionable, now susceptible like putty that was now malleable in his hands. Joshua went over to Charlie to help with the shopping bag all smiles and feeling on top of the world. Several nights that week when either Conrad or Simon felt down they were drawn together taking solace with in each other, sometimes sexing the sadness out of their bodies or just sitting cosied up in the lounge talking. No matter what he did or how busy he tried to keep himself everything just reminded him of Jack. The week after Jack's funeral Conrad walked out of the manor with the wheel barrow trying to whistle and thinking of Joshua, his body and that sexy face, he belonged to him and was the only one that mattered in Joshua's life. He started tending the flower beds outside the manor tidying them up then working his way down number 10, 8, 6, 4 and 2. he crossed over and started on number 1 then moved along to number 3. Annoyed that one of the flowers that Jack had planted had been slightly crushed when the new family moved in. He went home and dug up a healthy one from his own flower bed transplanting it to the bed outside number 3. He was oblivious to the owner coming out and walking across the dive towards him. "Morning, so you are the mysterious person who looks after the flower bed along the curbs?" Felicity asked. Conrad jumped a little "Morning" he said standing up "yes they all have hibiscus flowers" he replied. Felicity nodded "I am Felicity Emir we moved in just over a week ago" she said holding her hand out. "Conrad" he said shaking her hand "I live at number 8 with my parents". "Oh the twins right?" Felicity asked, Conrad nodded "horrible day apparently when we moved in" she said. Conrad nodded again "Jack's funeral" he managed to say "he was the gardener up at the manor". "So sad" she said "and you have taken over doing this from him?" Felicity asked. "Have done this for years with Jack" Conrad replied "he got me in to gardening when I was 7". "How wonderful" Felicity said smiling at him "sorry about the one that got crushed". Conrad looked at the plant in his wheelbarrow feeling a strong emotion taking over him "Yeah, kind of crushed just like me". Conrad apologised and rushed off back to the manor trying to control his emotion. Jamal watched him from the bedroom window having been in another argument with his mother over finding work but frankly he couldn't be bothered and still raged at being moved from Guildford to this place stuck in the middle of nowhere. Although his interest in the area suddenly perked up seeing the guy gardening out front, just my type to fuck he thought to himself grinning then paying attention to rolling up his spliff for later. Amused since his mother thought she got rid of it all before they moved but he kept a stash safely hidden away finding a discreet spot by number 1 where he could hide and smoke it. Jamal sat there watching the world go by, except very little went by the gated community. He sat up spotting the guy coming back out from the manor and heading to number 5 and busied himself with the flower bed. Jamal hid his freshly rolled joint and put on his jacket, he had heard the rumours of the previous gardener being gay when his mother spoke with family at number 4 across the road. Jamal casually walked out the house telling his mother he was going to say hello to the guy doing the flowers, her response was for him to be nice and not to aggravate him. She knew her son and his above normal privileged upbringing resulted in a lack of manners or obedience, his father didn't help and Jamal could do no wrong in his eyes being his pride and joy. He walked towards Conrad who looked in a world of his own going around weeding the digging over the flower bed. "Hello oik" Jamal said standing there "nice to see the low life help working as they should". Conrad turned to look at him fuming "What did you call me?" he asked standing up gripping the fork tight. Jamal smirked with his cocky arrogant look "Oik" he repeated again staring at Conrad. "Ah right, so you lack any manners I see" Conrad replied disconnecting from any further conversation. Jamal laughed "Silly little oik" he said moving closer "you need to learn your place in society". Jamal wrestled the fork out of his hand and threw Conrad to the ground placing one foot over his chest laughing and holding him down in humiliation. Conrad grabbed at his foot twisting and pushing trying to get it off only to find the pressure increase. "Learn your place oik" Jamal sneered chuckling at him "the more you fight the harder I press". Conrad grimaced "Get your foot off of me" he shouted at him. "Not until you appreciate how superior I am to you" Jamal emphasied his words clearly pressing down again. "I am warning you" Conrad shouted at him again trying to move Jamal's foot. Felix the butler came rushing out of the manor sprinting down the street like a superhero, despite the placid appearance he was a burly 6 foot late 40's man and doubled up as Simon's bodyguard. Jamal looked up hearing the footsteps approaching very quickly, he cried out falling two feet back from the force of the push Felix issued knocking him flat on his back almost winding him. Felix helped a shaking Conrad up to his feet who had anger in his eyes and tried calming Conrad down just as Simon arrived. "What happened Felix?" Simon asked coming to a stop. "He had Conrad on the floor standing on his chest" Felix said nodding to Jamal who was slowly sitting up. Simon went over to Conrad "Are you okay, did he hurt you?" he asked. "I'm fine" Conrad replied brushing the chest of his coat to remove the footprint. Simon walked over to Jamal and offered his hand to help him stand up, no sooner was he on his feet he crumpled back down receiving a back handed slap from Simon. Simon leant over "Don't ever touch him again do you hear me?" he said angrily. "My father will hear of this and he will sue you" Jamal replied taking a video of the blood on his face. Simon grabbed the phone and smashed it "Don't threaten me or you might just disappear one night". "I will have you" Jamal replied threatening Simon and wiping his face scampering backwards. Simon laughed at him "Bring it on" he teased "but I warn you now you will lose". "I am so sorry" Felicity called out running down the drive "get inside now" she shouted at Jamal. Jamal stood up and looked at his mother "Don't tell me what to do" he said huffing and walking off. "Conrad are you alright" Felicity asked watching him nod "god I am so sorry, he is out of control, I don't know what to do with him". Simon could tell she was at wits end with him "He is rebelling against us moving here" she explained. "Well he can make up for it and do some of hard gardening tasks around the manor under Conrad" Simon suggested. Felicity nodded "Dam right he can, when do you want him?" she asked without even questioning them. Simon smiled "Tomorrow morning at 8am, Felix here will keep an eye on him". "He needs discipline" Felix chipped in "I will break him in" he said. Simon chuckled "Ex army he knows discipline" he said "I will send him here to collect your son". Felicity nodded "Thank you and I am sorry" she repeated "just don't pay him and check him for drugs when he arrives". "Are you sure?" Simon asked and Felicity nodded "Felix you have got your work cut out with him". "You think Sir, easy as squeezing lemons" Felix said confidently escorting Conrad back to the manor. Conrad spent the night at the manor paying more attention to Felix than usual having never really engaging in conversation with him before he was intrigued and asked a lot of questions to Simon about him. The following morning Jamal was fetched by Felix and once inside the gates of the manor he had him stood outside up against the wall and strip searched him in humiliation whilst Conrad watched from the bedroom window chuckling at how angry Jamal looked at his treatment. "Are you sure about this Simon?" Conrad asked a little concerned. Simon walked over and laughed at the sight of Jamal in his underwear outside "Yes" he replied. Conrad turned to him "Nasty public school boy" he said facing Jamal again "quite sexy in a way". Simon agreed and laughed "I will protect you Conrad be assured, Felix will as well". Jamal was sat in the greenhouse with Felix standing guard "Morning Felix" Conrad said arriving. "Morning Conrad, he is all yours and has been briefed, call if you need me" Felix said disappearing. Jamal sat there looking at Conrad "Fucking oik" he said turning to face away. "And a good morning to you" Conrad replied ignoring his remark "helipad needs trimming" he said. Conrad put shears down in front of Jamal "I could stab you with them" Jamal said looking at Conrad. Conrad picked up some pruning scissors "You got two minutes to get there and start" he said walking out. Jamal sat there for a moment "Fuck" he said picking the shears up "where is it then?" he shouted at Conrad. Conrad pointed to the far side of the grounds "Over there" he said turning to watch Jamal plodding over. "Quicker" Conrad shouted stifling his giggle whilst also still very weary of Jamal's attitude and keeping a distance between them. He smiled standing there watching Jamal for a good hour whilst he trimmed the long grass around the helipad, Jamal was slow and obviously detested what his mother had done to him as a result of his behaviour. Despite the chill in the air the day turned out to be a crisp and clear with plenty of sunshine. Felix walked down to the helipad every hour checking on Jamal's progress. When he turned to leave he told Conrad to come up to the manor at 1pm for lunch and bring thing with him. Conrad fond it funny that Felix only referred to Jamal as Thing and said he will only use his real name when he earns the respect to be called by it. At 12.45pm Conrad walked over to Jamal and told him it was lunchtime but first he had to clean the shears. Jamal did as he was told and Conrad inspected them nodding, Jamal looked like he wanted to engage in conversation but Conrad was in no mind to talk to him instead telling him to follow him to the manor kitchen. Felix had put soup and a sandwich on the table in the kitchen for Conrad and gave Jamal beef broth and bread sitting him on a stool in the utility room. Jamal protested that he couldn't treat him that way but Felix ignored him and poured a nice warming cup of coffee for Conrad. The housekeeper Beth walked in to the utility room and laughed seeing Jamal sat there and came back in to the kitchen and kissed Felix on the cheek, Conrad noticed they both wore wedding rings figuring they must be married. "Do you not think this is a bit harsh?" Conrad asked in a hushed voice. Felix grinned "Not after what he did to you" he replied "he will learn to be respectful". "Felix can I ask are you and Beth married?" Conrad spoke tentatively putting his spoon down. "Yes" Felix replied "and Simon helped Beth get residency here in the UK and this job". Conrad nodded "I didn't realise he was nice that way" he said. Felix sat down "Simon has his flaws but I would do anything to protect him for what he has done for us". "I see. I hope he is starting to like me a bit more rather than tolerating me" Conrad said laughing. Felix chuckled "Simon likes you more than you think. Have to admit I never pegged you down as being gay". Conrad chuckled "Same here, everyone said it was because I spent so long with Jack" he replied. "How stupid people are" Felix said "Knowing Jack I don't know how he managed to wait so patiently before having you in the greenhouse". Conrad looked at him in surprise "How the frig do you know that?" he asked. Felix chuckled "It is my job to know everything" he replied "The flower bed was the funniest one". "You saw that as well?" Conrad now sat there looking embarrassed. "Yeah had to watch it twice to believe it" Felix said laughing "sure you know there are security cameras all over the place". Conrad shook his head "That is how Simon knew" he said looking down as his soup "I wish he was still here". Felix smiled "I know, we all miss him Conrad" he said patting his shoulder. They sat and had a very interesting conversation where Felix let slip that he was also protecting him as the people in Simon's lives were important to him. He made Conrad laugh when he told the story of Jack whittling on about Conrad this and Conrad that until he stuffed a bread roll in his mouth to shut him up one lunchtime, he finished off telling Conrad that when he was only 9 Jack already talked about you being the son he would never had. "My god" Conrad said standing up "need to get thing back to work" he said chuckling. Felix stood up "Beth and I like you being around Conrad, Simon does as well" he said. Felix walked over to the utility room "Wash your bowl up then back to work" he barked at Jamal. Conrad chuckled "Hate to get on the wrong side of you" he said, Beth chuckled turning to look at Conrad. "I should teach you some self defence young man" Felix said "It will help you should you need it". Jamal said very little to Conrad over the next few days and was set jobs to do that no one else liked doing, sweeping the terraces and picking out weeds that sporadically appeared on the gravelled courtyard at the front of the manor. Felix had him cleaning the numerous satin coated kitchen cupboards removing all the finger print marks until they shined like new. Felix started giving Conrad some self defence lessons, including nasty tricks to get out of situations by kneeing his opponent in the balls if given the chance. When Felix was satisfied on the third day Jamal was allowed to sit at the table in the kitchen but not to speak to anyone. Slowly but surely Jamal was learning that with a little more respect he was given more in return, from more breaks during the day to eating the same food that Conrad was being given for lunch by Beth. Conrad never expected that working for Simon would mean having more freedom around the manor and provided with food when ever he wanted it, he was fast becoming more and more part of Hibiscus manor life. Simon even made sure that Conrad had time to spend several hours studying in the kitchen after setting Jamal some jobs to do. He was revising for the final written exam. The studying taking his mind off Jack and at the weekend Conrad went out regular as clockwork to tend the flower beds along Hibiscus drive. Jamal weeding the courtyard again kept looking down the drive, nearly every single house he went to the owners came out and chatted to him giving him coffee and biscuits or the odd bottle of wine as a thank you. Happily Conrad looked down the road at the flower beds that were beginning to flourish again with more daylight ensuing each day. Conrad returned to the manor and greenhouse pulling his book out of the bag along with a bottle of water he sat studying waiting for Jama to finish on the courtyard. Jamal approached the greenhouse watching Conrad for a moment before walking in. He sat down opposite Conrad who looked up at him "Have you finished?" he asked. He studied Conrad for a moment "You think this is funny?" Jamal asked. Conrad looked up then went back to his book "I asked if you had finished?" he said again. "Are you bent like that old gardener was?" Jamal asked watching Conrad look up "did you fuck with him?". Conrad sat there in silence "You don't look like a poof" Jamal continued teasing him "you like cock up you?". Jamal was getting irate being ignored by him "Well, answer me shirt tail lifter" he said angrily now. Conrad packed his stuff away and stood up walking out in silence "Fucking arsehole" Jamal called after him. Jamal sat there fuming and bolted up running through the grounds to find Conrad and catching up with him just before he reached his home. What got him angry more than anything was how Conrad completely ignored him and was in no way bothered or concerned. Conrad heard the rapid thump of the feet running towards him and stopped turning coming face to face with Jamal. "You may be boarding school toff but in real life you are nothing" Conrad said walking up the drive to the front door. Jamal looked at him "Yeah well..." he was stumped for words "I'm not an oik" he called after him. Conrad simply turned and smiled closing the front door "Fuck you" Jamal said under his breath going home. In truth Jamal actually was growing to like Conrad, he could see how clever Conrad was and knew his stuff about the gardens, it was the way he ignored every insult that he found amusing. Jamal sat on the window ledge of his bedroom looking over at number 8, he watched for almost an hour listening to music until he saw Conrad's parents leave in their car. Putting his coat on he went out avoiding his mother and walked across the road up to number 8. He rang the doorbell and waited for what seemed an eternity until Conrad opened the door dressed in shorts and a t-shirt. Seeing Jamal standing there he closed the door "Wait" Jamal said "please" he pleaded to him. Conrad opened the door "What, you now want to insult me on my doorstep?" he said very calmly looking at Jamal. "Can you help me learn this?" Jamal asked "I know you don't owe me anything for what I did or have said to you". Conrad looked down shaking his head "Nice try but not good enough" he replied moving to close the door. "I'm sorry Conrad" Jamal spoke with urgency "sorry for hurting you and your feelings about the gardener". Conrad spoke quietly "Jack, his name was Jack. He was well loved along this road for years". "I am very sorry" Jamal said and Conrad could hear some sincerity "will you tell me about him?" he asked. Conrad opened the door "Why would you be interested in him?" he asked looking slightly perplexed. Jamal shrugged his shoulders "I want to understand Jack, you talk a lot about him to people at the manor" he replied. Conrad looked considering him for a moment "Is it too late to get to know you as well?" Jamal asked. "Depends if your going to continue insulting me" Conrad replied looking at him. Jamal shook his head "No, I am sorry. I took my anger out on you for my family moving here" he explained. Conrad opened the door and invited Jamal in. Spending the entire afternoon drinking coffee and chatting where Jamal listened to the story of how he met Jack and his natural love for horticulture rubbed off on him leading to this career choice. Of course he left the details of his real cause of death out and the fact where Jamal had sat in the greenhouse was where Jack would passionately assault him. It was a slow burn since Conrad didn't trust Jamal one bit for the moment. The following day he spent a lovely day up at the manor gardening with no Jamal around Simon came out and helped or tried to, he chatted away to Conrad enjoying the friendship that was building between them. As usual he was invited for dinner and Conrad graciously accepted knowing how much Simon missed Jack and his witty back chat. Monday morning Conrad sat his final exam he had given Felix instructions for Jamal to use shears and cut the grass by the flower beds outside the manor gates. He didn't protest and worked tirelessly making a pretty decent job. On Tuesday morning Conrad came out of his house and find Jamal standing there at the bottom of the drive waiting for him. "Morning" Jamal called out watching Conrad walking down the drive "how was your exam?" he asked. Conrad grinned "I am impressed that you pay attention sometimes" he quipped "hard but think I did okay". "So are you finished college now?" Jamal asked trying to make conversation. Conrad glanced at him "Yes unless I flunk the exam then I have to study again" he replied. Jamal looked at Conrad "Your smart, you will pass" he said confidently "me I am just a useless no hoper". "I would go more spoilt privileged brat to be honest" Conrad replied causing Jamal to stop walking. "Thanks for that" Jamal said sarcastically "your right though. How rich is he?" he asked looking at the manor. Conrad shrugged his shoulders "Rich enough to make people disappear" he said chuckling. Jamal smiled "You are quite funny and decent" he said "you never answered my question the other day?". Conrad opened the gate to the manor "What question?" he asked looking at Jamal wondering if he was referring to him being gay. "If you would teach me about gardening" Jamal replied looking serious. Conrad chuckled and closed the gate "To start with it is called horticulture". Felix kept an eye on Jamal reporting back to Simon that Conrad was now teaching him to look after the kitchen garden. Indeed their friendship grew gradually and now Jamal was spending most days up the manor, dropping his obnoxious exterior and actually turned out to be a really polite and well mannered lad, even Felix started showing him a little more respect. Conrad was putting all his energy in to looking after the gardens, Jamal had a day off that Simon forced upon him that last Friday in February. Conrad sat in the greenhouse alone thinking of Charlie and Joshua who were due to sail back in to Portsmouth on Monday, he was so looking forward to seeing them both. It was four weeks since Jack died and he had become emotionally stronger yet still found himself talking away to Jack like he was still sat next to him in the greenhouse shedding a few tears. Jamal turned out to be a nice distraction and from appearance looked like he was now enjoying spending time with Conrad being taught the intricacies of horticulture, he was totally astonished when Conrad checked the acidity of the soil never realising how much science was involved. Conrad picked a few flowers that looked perfect and packed up early afternoon, Simon and he were going to see Jack and lay some fresh flowers and see the tombstone that Jack had designed. "Ready to go?" Simon asked standing at the door. "Yes" Conrad replied picking up the flowers. Simon handed Conrad a hefty envelope that looked all official "This is for you from Jack's solicitor a little business to take care of first". "Oh" Conrad looked at it and put the flowers down. Opening the large envelope it contained a copy of Jack's will and letter from the solicitor, inside was a separate envelope that he put down on the work bench and read the solicitor's letter aloud "Dear Mr Grayson, pursuant to the last will and testament made by Jack Openshaw and witnessed by Mr Simon Burge, Mr Raheem Mohammed Jazeer and endorsed by Clegg & Simpson Solicitors on the 4th day of December 2017 we hereby fulfil the deceased instruction. The envelope marked 'property' contains the title deeds to Jack Openshaw's property in your name along with numerous other instruction detailed in the attached copy of the will highlighted for your perusal". Conrad looked at Simon holding back the tears and picked up the copy of the will finding the section highlighted "To my dearest friend who I watched grow up, Conrad Grayson. I leave you my house in Alton to do with as you wish. The entire collection of horticulture books and tools currently held by Simon Burge for safekeeping are also left to you. My solicitor is holding a £1.4 million trust fund that will be released to Conrad Grayson to purchase any house on Hibiscus Drive when one comes available, or to be paid in full after 5 years irrelevant. Adam Prestley has been left a sum of money for you should you decide to honour me in a way only you should know by now. It is my way to thank you for bringing much colour and vigour to my life over the years that I was lucky enough to know you and watch you grow". Conrad shed a tear and wiped his eyes. "Wow" he said looking at Simon "I never expected anything from him having given me so much already". Simon sat down next to him and smiled "There is a codicil to the will that I made him add" he said. Conrad looked at him "That is an amendment is it not?" he asked folding the document up. "Yes, you need to sign this to activate the trust fund" Simon said handing him a document. Conrad shifted uncomfortably in his seat reading the document "Why is it done like this?" he asked. Simon handed him a pen "It stops anyone trying to freeze the assets, paper trails you know" he said. "Sounds dodgey, I guess you mean Jack's family" Conrad said hovering over the document with the pen. "A little" Simon chuckled "it protects everything he left to you" he said watching Conrad sign. "I don't understand much of this and probably don't want to" Conrad said nervously. Simon stood up "At least put some trust in me Conrad to look out for you" he said. Conrad watched Simon placing the document in the envelope and suggesting they drop it off before visiting Jack. Conrad stood and kissed Simon on the cheek and picked up the hibiscus flowers for Jack's grave. He didn't dwell or think on what Jack had left him and after dropping the envelope off they walked up the grave where the tombstone had now been placed. Conrad saw the cupid with A, hibiscus flower with C and a scorpion in the middle engraved at the top. Wiping his eyes he laid the flowers down and spoke to Jack in private for a few minutes before Simon came over and spent a few minutes saying some words, he turned and walked back to Conrad. "I have a letter for you at home from Jack" Simon said putting his arm around Conrad. "A letter?" he asked "why now are you telling me?" Conrad looked confused at him. Simon turned to him "I was instructed to give it to you one month from his passing" he explained. Conrad nodded "I see". "It is for you to read in private that is all I know" Simon said opening the door to the limousine. Conrad was pleased that emotionally he had held it together despite the emptiness left by Jack. He was handed the letter that was still firmly sealed and went home to his bedroom almost too afraid to read it. His mother had told him that Charlie had called and confirmed they would be docking on Monday and home on Wednesday. It was just the tonic he needed to cheer him up right now. He felt the envelope and there was something hard inside, slowly he undid it and pulled out the hand written letter, a separate sealed envelope and a key secured to a gold chain fell out. The letter was dated a week after Conrad was diagnosed. "To my loving friend Conrad, this will be hard for you to read since it would be one month from leaving you. I had to think carefully about writing this so not to cause you to much worry or concern and what I am about to tell you must go no further, especially to Simon or anyone close to you. That much you must promise me Conrad and keep this secret. The day you was diagnosed with HIV you had a very high viral load, you will probably understand that what happened next was unethical but I paid the consultant to analyse the virus in your blood, he is an old school friend of mine so it paved the way a little. Simon's strain is definitely in your blood but it is not the dominant strain of virus. It might be hard for you comprehend but you will understand when the time is right why I got your blood analysed. You were already infected before Simon got to you, I know you had sex with Moham but he is very careful and definitely not carrying HIV. Unless there were others you elected not to tell me about the only other person I know of would be Joshua, I saw a slow change in you since you started delving in to bed with this person and I can't help worrying what his motive is but tread carefully and never sign anything over to him. I have instructed Simon to take care of you Conrad, you may not want or be happy about that but it is the least I can do to make sure you are protected and never go without. Simon has grown fond of you even though he may not have shown it over the years he took great pleasure in watching you grow up around the manor, always remember that no matter what lies ahead you can always and must turn to Simon. There is one last thing that I kept secret from everyone and I am leaving it to Adam and you, Simon always paid well and gave big bonuses (I mean big!) and I never spent any of it except to buy my house in Alton that I left to you, instead I took the cash out and placed it in a locked box in the greenhouse. That way the paper trail goes dry as to where the money went, Simon is so loaded with money he has no idea what to do with it. You should have the key which is in the envelope, it is hidden under the third flagstone to the left of the entrance. Take the box and the enclosed letter to Simon he will sort the rest out for you. I trust you Conrad, destroy this letter and never mention it again. Simon is there for you and if you need any affirmation you can turn to Adam he will be willing to help if the time comes. Please take care of yourself and I will be waiting for you, Jack". Conrad sat looking at the letter, parts of it made no sense failing to understand what Jack was actually writing about in places. The last few words he wrote brought tears to his eyes, how he missed the sexy man looking him in the eyes assaulting his arse with that devious but loving grin on his face that Conrad enjoyed looking at. He wiped his eyes knowing that Jack had pin pointed who infected him, it was all making sense why Joshua had apologised for accidentally ejaculating inside him the first time. What was weirder was since that night Joshua never made an attempt to put a condom on. Jack was right and the letter was controversial, he took it downstairs and walked through the kitchen where his mother and father sat talking over some document, he spotted the image of two kangaroos at the top of one letter before Eddie shuffled the papers putting them away. "What are you up to Con?" Eddie asked. Conrad looked at his father trying to discreetly put the documents away "Matches" he said "I need some matches". Jody looked sternly at him "I hope your not smoking weird stuff like that Jamal" she said standing up. "No" Conrad replied looking shocked "give me some credit" he said "I need to burn this letter". Eddie held out his hand "Let me have a read" he said. Conrad chuckled "Err sorry no, it is private from Jack and I need to destroy it" he said. "All very cloak and daggers" his father said noticing Conrad looking at the documents under his arm. "Here you go" Jody said handing him the box of matches. Conrad walked outside to the bottom of the garden to one of the flower beds and dug a small hole. He read the letter one last time using his phones torch. He smiled knowing that only having sex with four men so far he could discount two which left Simon and Joshua, both strains in his body. he crumpled up the letter placing it in the hole then lit it watching it burn completely then covering it with soil. He sat there on the damp grass unable to believe that Joshua had infected him, weather accidentally or deliberately he would need to find out. Conrad chuckled and stood up 'devious bastards all of them' he said smiling and walking back to the house. Walking in to the kitchen his parents still sat at the family table deep in conversation. Conrad sat down with them "I need to tell you both about Jack" he said getting their attention. Eddie sat back and studied him for a moment "Did he... I mean did he touch you when you were younger?". "Jesus no" Conrad replied looking shocked "no, he left me some things in his will". Eddie completely changed and relaxed and Conrad knew his father must had worried about that for a long time after coming out to them. He sat and explained about the house in Alton and also the trust fund that was set up for him to buy any house on Hibiscus drive when one became available. "You could have brought number 3" Eddie said "if you had known before today". "So how much is in that trust then, I mean houses around here go for just under £900k" Eddie asked. Conrad looked at them both "£1.4 million and either way after five years the money is mine" he said. "Hell Conrad" Jody said looking at him "so that means in five years you get all that money?" she asked. Conrad nodded "If no houses come on the market then yes" he replied "the solicitors hold the trust fund". Sometimes you think you know what is going on in life, the three of them sat there in a very awkward silence for a moment, Eddie looked at Jody then Conrad, Jody looked at Conrad then back to Eddie and nodded. Conrad's father pushed the documents he had under his arm forward his hand resting on them. Eddie looked at his wife then Conrad "Conrad I have been offered a job in Australia" he said. "I see" he replied not looking to shocked "I wondered how long it would be" he said "is it close to gramps?" Conrad asked. "Yes" Eddie confirmed "we wanted to speak to you both before making a decision" he said. "You can come with us" his mother said before he could say anything. "No" Conrad replied and smiled "my life is here" he said "Simon wants me to take over from Jack". Eddie looked at him "Like a job?" he asked. Conrad smiled "Yes, £50k a year working the gardens of the manor" he confirmed. "Wow" Eddie said smiling and nodding "you certainly have got yourself sorted out Con, good for you". Jody held Conrad's hand "Darling this is happening quickly, we would need to be in Australia in 2 weeks". "So have you made up your mind?" Conrad asked looking at them both. "Nearly" his father confirmed "we needed to find out if we could get visas and they came through today". "We wanted to give you boys the option of coming with us so we had visas approved for you both" Jody told him. Conrad looked a little down "You have raised us and kind of done your job, you should do what is right for you both" he said. Eddie looked at him "We will have to sell this house though to buy a place in Perth" he said sounding sad. Conrad smiled "So sell it to me" he said looking at them both "that way it remains in the family". Jody looked at Eddie "This is happening then" she said then looked at Conrad "you sure you won't come?". "No" Conrad replied "I can visit you anytime out there" he said "what about Charlie? he asked. Jody nodded "He is going to finish his navy training then transfer to the Royal Australian Navy". Conrad looked saddened "He is going with you then" he said. "Yes" Eddie confirmed "but it won't be for a few years he still has to finish training". "I know that is going to be hard on you" Jody said holding Conrad's hand tighter. Conrad nodded "Yes but we are grown up now we need to follow our hearts" he said smiling at them. Eddie looked over at Conrad "So you seriously want to buy this house?" he asked. "Yes" Conrad replied quickly "how much do you need to buy a place?" he asked. "Gramps has put a deposit down on a 5 bedroom place just north of Perth about £400k I guess". Conrad looked at his father "I will buy it for £1 million it will help you get started over there". Monday morning Conrad called the solicitors and put the wheels in motion and told Simon of his parents plan whilst Jamal was outside cleaning the pool terrace. Simon felt sorry for Conrad hearing that his twin was also going to move to Australia, at the same time though he was hardly here what with the training. "Are you sure you are okay with this Conrad?" Simon asked looking concerned. He smiled and nodded "Yes, well I think so it will be lonely in the house" he admitted. Simon smiled "You can have Jack's room here if you want, just say the word" he offered. Conrad looked a little upset "I can't sleep in that bed" he said looking horrified "it holds to many memories". "I can get it replaced quickly" Simon said allaying his fear "even decorate it if you want". Conrad sat quietly for a moment "You seriously don't mind?" he asked. "No it is more a question if you forgive me enough to stay here when you want" Simon said sincerely. Conrad chuckled "I will never forgive you Simon" he replied "I like you and like being around you". Simon smiled "Good enough" he said calling Beth in and asking her to replace the bed in Conrad's room. Charlie was finding it hard to keep up with everything that had gone on when he arrived home to much celebration and a delayed Christmas. Joshua had gone home to Newcastle and was coming down at the weekend since they were back in training the following Monday. Thursday morning Conrad grabbed Charlie and took him up to the manor, he had been given permission to show Charlie around where he now worked. Charlie though was more interested in seeing this Jamal or Jam as Conrad referred to him as but was no where to be seen since Simon banned him from coming up whilst Conrad showed Charlie around. For the second time in his life Charlie met Simon and was invited in for lunch with them leaving shortly afterwards to visit his girlfriend. Conrad scratched his neck rubbing his fingers over the gold chain remembering the key. "I have something to do Simon" Conrad said lifting the chain and key over his head. Simon looked confused "What is that for?" he asked nodding to the key. "Jack left me a box hidden in the greenhouse that I have to give to you" Conrad said standing up. They both walked across the gardens to the greenhouse where Conrad counted three flagstones to the left and felt it give slightly. Simon helped him lift it up and retrieve a large metallic box that was quite heavy. Conrad sat down and used the key to open the lock and lift the lid. sheet covered the contents and there was a letter addressed to Simon that Conrad handed to him. Simon opened and read the letter quietly whilst Conrad lifted the sheet off to reveal bundles of £50 notes. "Dam" Conrad said looking at the numerous bundles of money "What is it all for?" he asked Simon. Simon put the letter down "Jack's instruction is a 50/50 split between Adam and yourself" he said. Conrad kept looking at it "Come on let's get this up to the manor" Simon said standing up. They walked back to the manor carrying the box where Conrad left Simon to deal with it heading back down to the greenhouse and filling in the hole left by the box replacing the flagstone securely. He returned back to the manor and completed some documents with Simon who joked that Jack was shrewd enough to move the money to avoid any death duties. In all there was half a million pound placed in an off shore account for Conrad and the same for Adam. Conrad sat down reeling at the amounts involved that Jack had left to him. "I have to fly to Monaco this weekend Conrad to deposit the money" Simon said looking up at him. Conrad chuckled "I don't want to know Simon, the less I know the better" he said. Simon laughed "Very wise, stay at the manor if you want Felix and Beth can look after you" he offered. "That's very kind of you Simon but Josh is coming down this weekend and we stay in a hotel" Conrad explained. "No" Simon said almost too abruptly then changing his tone "nonsense stay here, I trust you" Simon said kindly. Conrad smiled and walked round the desk sitting on Simon's lap and kissing him on the cheek "Thank you". Simon stroked his face "You know I use to fuck Jack over my desk" he said winking at Conrad. "Really?" Conrad asked "with all these things on it" he said. Simon laughed "Yes, he always picked them up after we finished" he replied staring at Conrad. Conrad laughed realising he was being moved on to the desk "Oh fuck" he giggled. Friday Conrad sat in the greenhouse close to Jamal showing him how to take a cutting from the hibiscus and potting it on to grow and new plant. They spent several hours creating a whole new batch of cuttings to grow and Jamal was enjoying himself for once happily talking away and revealing what life was like at his all boys boarding school. Conrad looked over at him "Is it true what they say about boarding school?" he asked. Jamal knew what he was getting at but played him a little "What is that?" he asked back looking at him. "You know" Conrad said hinting "is it like prison?" he now asked. Jamal laughed "Kind of" he replied potting another cutting "you mean fucking?" he asked looking at Conrad. "I suppose that is what I mean, does it really go on?" Conrad asked turning in his seat to face him. "Yes" Jamal replied "loads of blow and hand jobs go on constantly" he said. Conrad chuckled "I bet you were a good sucker" he said ducking when Jamal threw a handful of dirt in his way. "Cheeky little oik" Jamal snapped at him "you know what happens to oik's in boarding school" he teased. "No and don't call me that" Conrad replied unable to stop grinning at their playfulness "well?" he asked. Jamal made a ring with his thumb and finger "They end up lose down below from too much cock" he said smirking at Conrad. Conrad threw a handful of compost at Jamal "So are you lose then?" he asked laughing. Jamal "Dirty oik" he said chuckling then looked at Conrad "did you ever do it with the gardener?". Conrad stopped laughing and looked at him "What makes you think I am gay?" he asked in a shocked tone. "You ask way to many questions about boarding school and I bet you have a hard cock" Jamal replied. Conrad stood "Is that so" he said grabbing his cock that was not hard by any means. Jamal walked over to Conrad and rubbed his hand on Conrad's crotch squeezing and feeling "Not hard" he said. Conrad pushed his hand away, Jamal grabbed his hand pulled it against his crotch "I am though" Jamal said. Conrad tried to pull his hand away "Jam stop it" he said finding his hand being forced to massage Jamal's cock. "You want it oik" Jamal spoke in an incredibly sexy way "you want me inside you" he said. Conrad's hand began deeply massaging the cock freely feeling the fullness of it, Jamal slowly turned Conrad around. He had strength and Conrad now found himself bent over the work bench, only this time it was Jamal and not Jack standing behind him undoing his jeans. It was enough to freak Conrad out.

He crawled back on the bed to put the tin full of chems back in his bag, and while doing so, unashamedly exposed his used musclehole. I pumped some lube on my right hand from the bottle on the bedside table (a plywood cube painted black), and went straight to work on his sphincter. The muscle was inflamed, and a dark purple in color - a sign of much use. Just by touching his hole, he immediately relaxed, and the muscle started to open. First one finger - then two - easily slid in to his warm rectum. His only response was to widen his stance and push back on my fingers. "Fuck yeah pig! Show me that fuckin' hole," I said, slowly rotating my fingers in his slot - and adding a third. He began riding my fingers - fucking himself - rocking back and forth. Definitely a hole in heat! Seeing this eager musclepig work his ass on my hand triggered the "top" in me, and my greasy cock started to press against the confines of my leather jockpouch. "Gonna fuck that hole, pig! Gonna fuck that hole with my pierced cock," I grunted. "Turn around an' get me hard, slut!" I ordered. He immediately obeyed, turning around and burying his stubbled face in my leather crotch. "Yes Sir! Please fuck me! I need your cock in my hole. Please breed me sir!!" he chanted, in between chewing on the leather pouch and trying to unsnap the codpiece with his teeth. I cupped one hand on the back of his buzzcut head, and used the other hand to pop the four snaps holding the codpiece in place. When I slid the leather out of the way, I felt his warm lips and tongue on my hard shaft, and we both moaned in ecstasy. As he licked and sucked, his saliva mixed with the film of J-Lube already coating my tool. They combined into a nice, thick goo - perfect for fucking! Two pigs in a bathhouse - - - no more foreplay needed! I pushed him backwards, grabbed his ankles and pushed them over his head. My stiff cock landed perfectly on the ruffled, purple muscle that used to be his sphincter. Sliding back and forth, my PA glistening in the flashes of light from the porno on the small TV, I felt the gooey lube on my cock mixing with whatever juices were leaking from his pulsing fuckhole. He stared directly at me, eyes unblinking in the way that those under Tina's spell do. He was uncontrollably grinding his teeth, waiting impatiently for me to fill him with much-needed cock. I let go of one ankle (his hand reached up and took its place), and used my now free hand to press the head of my pierced cock into his musclehole. There was no resistance, and so I just leaned forward and sank my meat in all the way on one stroke. "Fuccckkkkkkk," I exhaled, losing myself in the sensory overload of seeing my thick cock disappear into this hot stud's ass; hearing the jumble of techno music, moans, footsteps, doors opening and closing; feeling the warmth of muscle, skin, tissue, cum and lube surround and massage my throbbing cock; and smelling the odors of cum, piss, sweat, meth, tobacco and who-knows-what-else that make a bathhouse unique. He reached up and grabbed both his ankles and pulled his legs back and wide, making that hot musclebutt the center of attention. Now that my hands were free, i would fuck for a few minutes, pull out, and work his ass with my fingers. The scene, and the willingness of this hot pig, made my cock throb like it hadn't in a long time. Everytime I pulled out of his hole, my meat was covered in a thin film of cum - and the smell from all of those anon loads was better than the best poppers! My dick must have liked it, 'cause it continued to get harder and thicker - so much so that the chrome cockring (attached to the ball in my ass) was starting to be a slight bit painful. After a good thirty minutes of plowing his ass, we were both dripping with sweat and I motioned for a break. I kicked back on the cheap foam mattress, and he offered me a cigarette. I accepted. Found out his name was Ben (short for Benedict), and that he was visiting from Chicago. "So, Ben," I asked, "what brings you to Big D?" He replied ,"My ex used to live here, and he had lots of stories about the hot times he'd had at Midtowne here. I had some vacation time I needed to use, so I decided to take a week and drive down here to check it out." "Well? Has it lived up to his stories?" I asked. "Fuck, man - I've been fucked more in the last two days than I have the last six months in Chicago!" he answered. "The bathhouses back home are full of gym gods, but they don't fuck like you guys! And the only condom I've seen here was in that bowl at the check-in desk." "Yeah, Midtowne is where most of the nasty pigs go," I said. "Club Dallas has more of the gym crowd - hot guys, but no sex. Every once in awhile I go over there, especially if i'm lookin' for drugs. And - i've had some good fucks over there. But, if you're lookin' for the darker side - this is the place!" Ben leaned over and took my resting cock in his mouth, cleaning off the dried cum from his ass and causing it to twitch back to life. "Mmmmm - that feels gooood!" I growled. His hand moved to my ass, where he found the metal hook between the cockring and the metal ball. "Fuuuucckkkk - what's this in Daddy's hole?" Ben quizzed. "Pull on it an' find out," I challenged. Ben hooked two fingers under the stainless steel rod and started to pull. I raised one leg and rested it on his shoulder, relaxing my sphincter as the metal ball started to edge out of my hole. "Holy shit!" Ben said, his eyes opening wider as the 3" diameter ball dilated my fuckhole. "That is sooooo fuckin' hot!" I reached down and pushed the emerging ball back in. I wasn't ready to remove it, and the extra pressure it was placing on the cockring was becoming uncomfortable. I grabbed Ben's neck and forced his face into my balls and the base of my cock. He was easily compliant, and started drooling all over my crotch. Seeing the control i had over this hot stud sent blood pumping into my cock, and i was rock hard again in no time! "Ya want a booty bump pig?" i asked. "Mmmm....," he moaned, coming up for air. "Nah - i think i'd rather smoke a little." He rummaged through the pile on the plywood table until he found the glass pipe and torch. I watched as he fished a decent-sized rock out of the plastic baggie and dropped it in the pipe. The hiss of the torch was the only sound in the room now - with a muffled thud-thud-thud from the techno music playing in the club. Ben's eyes were focused on the glass tube, watching intently for the thick white smoke to appear - thick white smoke that would keep him horny and hungry for raw cock. The torch clicked off - he was experienced enough not to let the meth burn in the bowl - and he placed the pipe to his lips, slowly inhaling the cloud deep into his lungs. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back, concentrating on holding the smoke in as long as possible. When he finally exhaled, I moved closer, sliding my hand between his legs and finding the cleft of his ass. He was sitting in a pool of sweat, cum, lube and who knows what else. When I felt the ruffled muscle of his sphincter, I started gently massaging it - making small circles with my index finger, and occasionally sliding it inside him.

The profile photo of Domin8tor wasn’t something I’d normally click on - no head. But the body was beefy - the barrel chested kind, thick with muscles but also looked like he enjoyed a lot of burger and beers. His likes were sparse and to the point: rough sex, fucking, breeding. Leather. Beer. I checked my messages and — not unexpectedly — his was direct and to the point: “Wanna fuck” He didn’t even include the “?” At the end I tapped in my reply: “Possibly. What are you looking for? Now?” It was 3 in the afternoon, on a Friday afternoon, and I still had a few more hours of work left. “Yeah. Now. Need a hole to drop my seed into.” “Sorry. Can’t now but could do later.” He replied with a pic. It looked like something someone took from Folsom: shirtless and in leather chaps, massive cock swinging free between his legs. He looked like in his 40s or 50s, but fit. His face was broad, head shaved, sunglasses on. His thin lips curled into a snarl-smile, mischievous and menace. Dark swirling tattoos covered his forearms and I could see a bit peeking over on his shoulders from his back. Muscles rippled through in almost comic-book proportions: biceps almost as thick as his head; pecs covered in sweaty dark fur, beads of water on the nipples. “Probably steroids” I thought. I glanced down at his balls, the tell-tale sign but they seemed larger than normal, hanging low. I replied in the chat: “How about 5pm?” No reply. I figured he found some other hole. I turned off my phone and went back to work. A little while later, my phone buzzed again. Checked it and there was a message from him. “Yeah. Address” I typed in my address and took a break from work to do a thorough prep and then tried to focus on work for the remainder of the day. Which was tricky - I put on a leather jockstrap and shorts to get myself in the mood. 5pm came… and went. I hopped online and he wasn’t online anymore - again, I figured he found someone else and didn’t bother to cancel. I opened a can of beer and started browsing other guys - after prepping, I didn’t want to let my ass go to waste. I was chatting with some twunk when my buzzer rang. It was almost 6pm. I pushed on the talk button and asked who it was. A gruff one word reply. “Dom”. Slightly annoyed, I replied “Third floor on the right” and buzzed him up. A heavy knock on door. I opened and was pleasantly surprised - he looked more or less like that picture. Shorter than I was expecting but the muscles were pretty much popping. He wore a t-shirt, jeans and a dark hoodie. The sunglasses were still on. I asked him if he wanted a beer and he nodded. I went and got him one and he had barely moved from the front door. I handed it to him and he took it with his left hand while reaching out to my shoulder with his right, pushing me down. With a low growl, he said “Suck.” He spoke with a thick accent - Eastern European? I knelt down, and unbuckled his jeans. Unzipping, I could tell he wasn’t wearing any underwear and his cock tumbled forward. It was as advertised: thick and long, fatter just behind the uncut head. I bent forward and started to suck. I had to really open wide in order to get the semi-hard dick in my mouth. I could hear him guzzle his beer above my head as I worked his cock. I started to use my hands, as his cock was long enough that I couldn’t get it all in my mouth. He reached down with his free hand and gently caressed the top of my head and moaned “That’s nice. Make it wet.” I could taste sex on his dick. As I blew him, I could see the matted cum from a previous fuck in his pubes. I swirled my tongue under the foreskin and could taste the ass juice and load from the last guy. He repositioned his hands to the back of my head and I knew where this was going. I tried to pull off before the face fucking could start — there was no way that was going to work well. But I was too slow. With an incredibly firm hold, his hand palmed the back of my head and he pulled my head in. I tried to open my mouth further, but his cock hit the back of my throat. He pulled back and then back in. I did my best to get gulps of air in through my nose but as he sped up and pushed harder, the opportunities became shorter and shorter. I put my hands on his waist and pushed him away, but there was no budging. Cocksucker’s tears were flowing down my face. He chuckled and slowed a little. He pulled back a bit and the air rushed into my lungs through my nose. He looked down at me (still with those fucking glasses and snarky smile) and said “Relax. Just open your throat.” I thought “what the fuck was he thinking I was doing?!” I tried to push again, but it literally felt like I was pushing against a wall - no movement at all. His hand — still on the back of my head — started to pull my head in. “Your choice. You can relax or not, but it’s going in.” I closed my eyes and did my best to relax, expecting it to ram against my tonsils yet again. But somehow his cock had softened a bit, and as he pulled my head in, it turned and went down my throat. There was a second moment of panic, but I tried to relax more and it became easier. He pulled back and then in again. And like the last time, his dick slid down my throat. I tongued the bottom of his shaft and his cock was iron-hard. I didn’t understand but before I could process it, my nose was buried in his pubes. The cum from his previous session smeared across my face. And his cock was down my throat. He held me there and I could feel his cock pulse and throb in my throat. It was a surreal sensation - it was like a hot, pulsing steel rod was down my throat. I felt his head - or I think it was his head - swell /in my throat/ . His hand kept my head there, and to my surprise, I didn’t try to resist. I think I was curious - how was this happening ?! - but also it was hot: I was deepthroating something that should not be able to go down my throat. His dick kept pulsing and I wondered if he had cum but he didn’t seem to make any of the other indications. Slowly, he pulled back and his cock snaked back - and I do mean /snaked/. It felt like somehow it could fully move, like a python in my mouth. He pulled the last bit from my drooling lips and then I could taste it. It was bitter and salty - kind of like cum, but something that also tasted like brackish saltwater. So maybe he did cum? The taste clung to my mouth - in that terrible way if you get a mouthful of antiperspirant. He tilted my face — tears down my cheeks, used cum on my face, and drool down my chin — towards his, and he growled, “Good boy.” He spun me around and shoved the back of my head hard, so I fell forward catching myself. He knelt down beside me and pulled back from my hips, so that he in a position to fuck me doggy style. He reached down my shorts, and roughly fingered my hole. With a surprising strength, he grabbed the sides of my shorts and with surprising strength ripped them apart exposing my bare ass, framed by the jockstrap lines. “Ah yeah, you were fucking ready for this” he snarled and then I felt his face back in my crack. His stubble rubbed the side of my cheeks, and I could feel his tongue inside my hole. It was pushed my hole open, and even if I didn’t want it (which I did!), I wouldn’t have a choice. He continued to grind his beard into my ass, as if he were trying to literally push me along with his jaw. And his tongue kept going deeper. And deeper. And he kept swirling it around, as if he were licking the inside of a bowl, but somehow in the inverse. He came up for air and then I felt it. His hard cock against my hole, first running up along it, picking up some of his spit and then with one move, shoved it in my hole. Time stopped. It hurt so much. My vision went white with pain. It came back. I came back to my body. And he was inside me. Fully. With one shove - or I blacked out - he was balls deep in me. Instinctively I tried to pull forward. But he held onto my hips and there was no give. None. “Uh uh uh - you are staying there until I’m done with you.” And with that, he fucked me. Hard. Each thrust all the way, each thrust seemingly a little deeper. It hurt so bad - I couldn’t help think of my insides being wrecked. I don’t think I have ever been fucked this deep - well, well past that second ring. And it kept doing. harder. And harder. I kept trying to squirm away, but there was literally nothing I could do other than make bigger bruises on my hips where he held on. Any more struggling and I would just be digging into his hands. At one point, he leaned forward on top of me. He was so heavy. Like 400 lbs heavy. He was shorter than I was, and when he pressed down, his body completely pinned mine to the ground. He slowly pulled out, about half way and then slid all the way back in. He paused inside me. “Milk it” he snarled. I was stunned. I just lay there. “Milk it” he repeated. And then he smacked the back of my head, and instinctively my ass clenched. “There we go.” And I started to squeeze and milk it. And it felt good. Really good. I could tell - my cock throbbed in my jockstrap. I know that sounds dumb, but honestly, my cock told me that it felt good. And once I ‘noticed’ then I really got into milking his cock. And he started to fuck me again, again with the snake. I felt it knew how to turn and go deeper. And deeper He got up a bit and pressed down on my shoulders with his hands, pinning me to the ground, with my ass up in the air. He went back to fucking me hard and fast. I just relaxed and let my hole loosen up. “Ah that’s good, my boy. Open up and let me in.” And I did. I just relaxed and he fucked me deep. Oh so deep. My ass was slick with the same slime that was down my throat. His cock made thwash sound as it churned up the slime. It felt so fucking good. I moaned and squeezed my hole in appreciation. He lifted off my shoulders for a brief moment to separate out my cheeks so he could get /that much deeper/ then put his hands on my shoulders. I turned around to look at him. He had taken off his shirt at some point and was dripping sweat. His skin was red, like the blood was just under the skin. His muscles and veins popped and throbbed. His face was a mask of angry hunger - as if ever thrust was another bite he was taking. His sunglasses were off and his eyes were black, except where the pupil’s were, which I saw occasional glints of reddish light. Kind of like when you flash a light into an animal’s eyes in darkness. His hands dug into my shoulders and the pain was sharp. His nails were clawing back towards him, so he could get as deep as he possibly could. And then he paused and let out a low groan-howl. I felt his cock start to twitch. And swell. My hole expanded even further - it was easily bigger than a can of coke at this point. I could feel him coming but it felt different - instead of the jerk-twitch-squirt that most cocks do, this was a pulse-wave-shove of cum. As he pushed himself in as far as he could, he grunted through gritted teeth “yeah…. yeah..…” I could feel it filling up my guts, as if there was a tap running. He kept cumming, depositing his seed deep inside me, for seeming minutes. Slowly he pulled out but kept coming, the same pulse-wave feeling. Finally he pulled out, and spun me around to face his cock. And I understood why now it felt that way. His cock continued to shudder and push out cum and cum was really thick, almost solid, a golf-ball size blob-ball of cum. I watched his cock push another one out, and the cock slit, widened to let this cum ball out. He shoved my face down to clean it off. I did as I was instructed and opened up. Even in my stupor, I knew it wouldn’t fit, but somehow, improbably, it did. It filled my entire mouth, and filled my throat. And it twitched and I felt the cumball push its way down his cock and directly down my throat. While that happened, I instinctively fingered my gaping hole and felt his cum inside. And my ass was full of these balls. I clenched my ass, keeping them inside and started to jerk off. I started to actively swallow now, welcoming them into me. I heard him above me say “Yes. Open up and let me in.” I could smell my ass, his cum and all the other guys now that my nose was shoved up into his pubes. I knew I was just another receptacle for him. One of many. And I liked it. I just relaxed. Both ends letting his cock travel down my throat and my ass. I could feel some of the cumballs plop onto the floor. But I didn’t care. I was open for him. Open. Open. And then I came. My ass clenched. And I just saw emptiness. I blinked to make sure they were open. But I just saw emptiness. It was different than blackness - I could tell that there was space in front of me, but it was just /empty/. I came back to my body. There was a wave of pleasure so strong that it hurt. My body wracked with spasms, the orgasm convulsing every cell of my body. I don’t remember how but when I regained my senses, his cock was out of my mouth. I looked around and he was buttoning the last button on his jeans. He bent over and picked up his shirt. Wordless, he just smirked at me. I was dumbstruck, kneeling on the ground a puddle of my cum in front of me. Pulling his shirt down, he motioned with his jaw towards the ground and said “They don’t last long outside a body.” I glanced down to see the cumballs - yes they were real - melt and spread out into murky jelly. He and put back on his sunglasses, covering his black, flashing eyes. “Take care of them,” he said. He turned and walked out the door. I hadn’t moved or said anything. I slowly stood up, my body starting to ache. I staggered to the bathroom, cum dripping down the inside of my left thigh. In the bathroom, I saw that my face was raw from being ground on the floor. There were two bruises on my hips. In the shower my hole was tender, but I was expecting far worse. I cleaned up the hallway, and his cum was remarkably sticky, but the smell wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. His cum, more than most, was breaking apart and turning into a thinner liquid. Over the next day, I was expecting an interesting shit ahead. But the cumballs didn’t “come out” - I guess they were absorbed? I checked his profile online but it was deleted. Now it seems surreal so I wonder if I was drugged - I’m writing this down so I remember, as it feels like it might fade away like a dream. So here is the recounting of the time I was bred by… uh, not sure what.

I've decided something for myself. I'm going to stay neg as long as possible while building my new life. If I still want to charge up in 5 years (which will give me ample time to build that life), then I will become active in pursuit. Looking back over my life, the interest has popped up periodically and dropped off for long stretches. This current spot is the longest it's gone on, but who can say it will be maintained? I know some of you will be disappointed. But I'm doing what is right for me, and when I'm ready in other places, then it will happen. If it happens prior to the 5 years being up, then it happens and I deal with it. For now, that's the goal and I feel good about that.

My Ex Breeds Me, and My Boy Chapter 1. My ex was a real asshole, a conservative Republican and terribly condescending. That’s why we broke up. But, before that, we had four great years where he fucked me silly with his thick eight-inch cock. He was greek and his body was covered in hair, even the lower part of his cock shaft. I missed the way his shaft hair would tickle my hole when he fucked me deeply. Anyway, that was a decade ago, and my boy and I are very happy together. My boy is exclusively a bottom so I don’t get to take his cock ever, and rarely anyone else’s. I had complained to my boy about it, and he just rolled his eyes. He had a nice cock, but he wasn’t interested in fucking me, or anyone else, with it. What he was into was getting fucked by big dicks. It got both of us off stretching out his hole and sharing it with buddies. One night after pummeling him with a friend, he was still hard and I sucked his cock for a few minutes before raising up and trying to lower myself down onto it. He pulled away and told me to be patient. He said, ‘maybe we should find a top to fuck us both? If so, I have just the guy in mind….’ I grinned wondering what he was planning. I asked a few times in the spring, but he always told me, ‘I’ll let you know when he’s around, ok,’ winking at me every time. Last summer, my ex was going to be in town for a conference. We texted occasionally, and he messaged me saying he wanted to catch up and bury the hatchet. The second night of the conference, he messaged me saying he was free for dinner. I texted my boy and told him that my ex was in town and I’d love to catch up with him. My boy asked if I was going to get him to fuck me, and I said no, that his politics were just too toxic. My boy reminded me, ‘everyone deserves a second chance,’ so I agreed to meet with my ex. I asked if my boy wanted to join, and he suggested that it may be better to catch up with him one-on-one first, and if it went well, maybe invite him over another night to share a bottle of wine. I thanked my boy and texted my ex. My ex blew off a client dinner and we met up in a gay sports bar. I swooned when I saw him. My ex was a bit balder, but still ruggedly handsome and tall, but he’d lost a lot of weight and was left seemed concentrated on his belly and sagging butt, beautiful even through his khakis. I knew in a second that he had converted and was now POZ. We sat at the counter facing the street with the garage door façade opened up to the outdoor sidewalk. He loosened his expensive looking tie and took off his blazer. I loved seeing his burly chest fur peeking out against that crisp white business shirt. By our third longneck beer, he’d told me about playing the field after we’d broken up and experimenting with bottoming, and he hadn’t mentioned politics once. He’d fallen for a hung top who loved to fuck him just so he could watch my ex’s big hard cock swinging around. I asked if he was the one who POZZED him, and his jaw dropped. ‘Can you tell,’ he asked, sort of dejectedly. I told him he looked great, and I’d still take his load, any time in fact. He grinned and told me he wasn’t on meds at the moment and I just nodded. My ex took a deep breath. He mashed his mustachioed mouth to mine and kissed me hard, groping my butt, lifting me off the barstool. I melted into his furry pecs, and he scooped me up into his arms and we sauntered out the door. We giggled asking ‘your place or mine?’ We decided to go to his hotel just in case my boy was home. We tumbled into his suite and he tore off my clothes. My ex ate my ass and slapped his raw POZ cock against my butt. He bent over and tried to jam his tongue into my hole. It had been so long since anyone paid attention to me there that I moaned instantly. He used spit, his glorious tongue and his fingers to open me up and get me slick. After a few minutes, he slapped that big hairy dick against me and slowly pressed his bare helmet into me. I could hear the ‘plop’ as he entered me to the glans. He took his time going deeper until my hole tickled with his shaft hair. I reached back and grabbed my ex’s hips, savoring the sensation of being well and truly opened up. He rocked his hips and let his inches move in and out of me. He started very deep, and then moved further and further out with each stroke. He knew just how I needed to be used. I lay there, with my face sideways into the mattress, ass up, back arched, knees spread. I could see my hard cock bouncing with a footlong pearl of precum reaching closer and closer to the mattress. My ex railed me. After about twenty minutes of enjoying the abuse, I needed to tap out. He grabbed the back of my neck with one hand and pressed my arched back lower. ‘You’ll get a break when I’m ready!’ I looked up at him. He’d never spoken to me that way before. He smacked me on the cheek and told me, ‘I’m not stopping until I breed your hole!’ And he kept his word. He jackhammered my ass, reshaping it into his freshly cunted hole, perfectly sized to make his big dick feel good. He didn’t slow down before cumming, nor did he ask me if I wanted it. He just blew six or seven spurts of POZ seed into my guts. He kept up his pace until I hard my ass squelching and burping his cum. My ex slowly pulled out of me, and a torrent of his seed followed. He grabbed his phone and took a few pics. I heard the ‘whoosh’ as he sent them. He slid back into me and took a few snaps of his cock splitting me open. I groaned as he worked his load deeper into me. My phone buzzed. I thought he had texted them to me. My ex pulled out and tossed me my phone from my hastily discarded jeans. The text was from my boy. ‘LOOKS LIKE THAT TOP IS IN TOWN. HAVE FUN TONIGHT. CAN WE SHARE A BOTTLE OF WINE TOMORROW?’ I was about to text my boy back when my phone received the pics, that my ex had sent to my boy. I looked at my ex, and he just sneered at me. My phone jingled again as I got anther text from my boy, ‘CAN WE SHARE HIS POZ LOADS TOMORROW?’ To be continued…

All right, you asked for it, lol. Here's the final instalment. Epilogue Several months later… I left the crowd behind me as I stepped on to the back porch of the fetish bar, not caring about the almost negative wind chill, and winter’s hateful snowfall. Thank goodness that whole nonsense with the Covid is over, and people are out enjoying themselves again. And the boys are as hungry as ever, making up for lost time, and plundering holes and nutsacks as much as they can. A lot of earlier limits don’t matter so much now - barely legal, geriatric, pretty, overweight, meth heads, toxic - they are all practically foaming at the mouth for sex. The best part is they don’t even ask status anymore. I’ve put a significant number of notches in my bedpost since my summer visit with Rick as a result. I pulled the Asylum from my motorcycle jacket’s front pocket, clicked open the torch, and a blaze erupted before my face. I turned the thick stick in my mouth, puffed hard, and when the cherry was fully lighted, off went the torch. Rick was right - I *am* a cigar pig, and while my bank account isn’t too happy with the new deduction (nor are my lungs or my doctor), I don’t give a fuck. I’m connected to this, and it’s a great memory of a man I no longer see. As the smoke curled upward, I began to reflect on how I got here. Rick’s bugs did the trick. I went home and back to my normal life, though by the end of the weekend, I bought a full box of fat cigars, a guillotine, and a torch. My house is now powerfully impregnated with their odor. When my sister came to visit, she said, “It smells like a humidor in here.” And every time I fire up, I remember her saying that and how Rick gave me what I wanted. Then the seroconversion came twelve days later. I awoke in the night, frying and freezing at the same time. The bedsheets were already quite soaked with sweat, and it didn’t take me two seconds to realize that Rick actually did it. All it took was one dose of his toxic poz seed, and my destroyed hole, and we were there. I actually had my doubts prior to this night, and talked myself into believing that Rick refused to break character until I was out the door. Ten bucks says he went straight to his chest of drugs and resumed his medication. Then I got only silence from him. No contact whatsoever. No follow-up, no text saying “Hey, how’s your hole doing?”. Just … nothing. The first morning after the conversion, I texted him briefly. “Yo, Rick. It’s happening. I feel like I’m dying. Congratulations, you’re a poz dad! And thank you.” A few minutes passed, then I got back a single emoji as a reply: 😈 No other words accompanied it. Didn’t hear from him again. I think he’s mad at me. It was entirely his decision to come off the meds, but I think maybe he hates himself for it, and doesn’t want to deal with me. I broke his perfect healthy world with my request, and maybe he couldn’t take the stress of it. I really don’t know what happened. His friends say he’s fine, just “super busy”, but no real details of anything about him or his life. But I choose to not cling to people that don’t want to talk to me, so I let it go after a few weeks. And I was unbelievably horny after I was able to walk again. The sickness lasted only a couple days, and it was no worse than the usual flu, though I did have diarrhea rather badly at the start. And then it was over. But the horn - it never fucking stopped! As soon as I felt like myself again, I got on my hookup sites, changed my status on my profiles, and let the world know I was poz. An avalanche of messages and winks and woofs suddenly popped into my message centers, and I was a very busy boy! My hookups went from me just being a bottom ho to a full-on top poz breeder. After the first three days of constant sex, I had to give myself rest. My dick was rubbed so raw that I was getting a scab on the shaft, and my balls were shooting out less and less cum from being emptied so often. They couldn’t turn it out fast enough! So far, I’ve had eleven confirmed conversions, but most of the others are unknown. They didn’t report any change, so I didn’t ask. I fuck them, I dumped a hot charged load in them, and leave them. On to the next one, and I seldom see the same guy twice. It’s about quantity while I’m still super infectious. Guess I’m making up for lost time, too. Eventually it caught up to me when I nailed a prissy bear, and when I told him, “I’m going to infect you now,” he screamed the walls down until his neighbor came, and seeing the bear in restraints - which was his fantasy - and me naked over him… Well, let’s just say I lost a tooth that day. It’ll be a long time before I go back into that part of the city. But I have no regrets. I would have liked to have more control over when it happened, but as it was my inevitable destiny, I may as well embrace it. And I did. My toxic seeds are being spread by others, some known, others not. And it’s fucking empowering. I’m like a nasty poz god, corrupting countless men’s holes without ever leaving my street. It made me chuckle. While lost in these memories, I realized I’d smoked nearly half the cigar, and have been out here almost twenty minutes. I silently stared at the night sky. So many stars. And for some reason, I said aloud, “The seeds that go out from my body. Look at the stars. I cannot count them, but so shall my seed be.” It was a perverted quote and I found it hilarious. As my mind wallowed in the humor of the situation, I flicked my ash over the wooden balcony. “I never took you to be a biblical scholar,” a voice suddenly said next to me. My head quickly turned to the left to face the voice, but I couldn’t make out the face. The alley back here was too damn dark to see distinctly if it wasn’t directly in front of you, plus this space was quite smoky. The person came closer. My eyes widened. It was him. He gave me the once-over at my new look. “Looks like my work was more thorough than I thought.” I was stunned. “Rick! Shit the bed, how have you been?” I was overjoyed at this unexpected reunion. I hugged him tightly and released him quickly. “I’ve been asking around about you since the summer, and no one could give me a straight answer, but fuck! It’s good to see you!” “Easy, bro,” he said, raising his gloved hand. “After we fucked, I needed to get away, so I took a long trip around America. I needed to be away from people, and Covid, and politics, and just took a long extended vacation. I’m back on the meds, and healthy again.” “That’s good.” “Are you happy with the life you’ve chosen?” His usually musical tone was suddenly monotone and discordant. I looked away for a second. I put the Asylum back in my jaw, and pulled up my leather pants by grabbing the belt buckle with both fists. I posed seductively as if for a motorcycle calendar. My Muir cap tipped slightly, and I said, “What do YOU think?” with a big grin on my face. He gave several small nods of the head in approval. “Very good, you look like a genuine leatherman. But what have you done with my… gifts?” He said that last word rather knowingly. I turned my head away ever so slightly. “Oh, you know, the usual. Seedin’ and breedin’. Staying off the meds as long as I can take it. Life is for the living, and I am doing it on my terms.” Non-committal responses? “Steve, you’re an asshole,” I thought to myself. Rick’s face contorted to incredulity. “You’re still not on them? Dude. Fuck.” He shook his head, blinked once or twice, and sighed. “It’s your life. Do what you want. Also, do this.” He pulled his right hand forward, and for the first time, I saw a chain in his hand as a smaller body came forward from behind him. It was a human pup, completely dressed in his fetish gear. A few extra pounds, but his color was definitely blue, and he didn’t speak unless spoken to. The chain in Rick’s hand ended around the pup’s neck. “Dog. I picked this one up in Florida. MONSTER COCK and deadly as fuck.” Rick said proudly. “I’m showing him a good time while I still can. AND he has a greeting present for you. Dog?” The pup cocked his head, listening. “Give him a Cuban Delight,” Rick said to Dog in an evil voice, followed by a grin to match. “Ruff!” He did his best imitation of dog panting. “You’re gonna die tonight.” I could see a fire behind Dog’s eyes. He was also charged, like Rick and me, but with… something different. Curious. 🤔 I stubbed out my cigar, smiling wickedly. I knew I was about to get another upgrade. “This oughta be good.” THE END

The problem is not the apps but the people that use them. Apps will not dispel racist and toxic prejudices in the LGBTQX community if the members don't listen to each other and self examine their own biases. Example: I'm not normally attracted to fem guys. I can just passe this off as just my preference but on further self examination I realize I tended to associate fem guys with queeny bitchy gay men that bitch and tear down other gay men for kicks. Furthermore, being bi fem guys aren't anything similar to women so the aspects I like for women are missing, thus no connect. All that being said I have met fem guys that I really gel with and I start to realize that my generalization and faulty associations of the group wasn't allowing me to see people for how they are I was just grouping them in a box and it's unfair, wrong and you miss out on some great moments. I realize it wasn't fem guys I disliked, it was bitchy hyper critical people that turned me off. (I hope this makes sense) Ya everyone has sexual preferences but true preferences tend to be more general than you think. We just add a ton of baggage on on top of them

Temperatures have soared recently. I was about to go to bed last night and try to get some sleep despite the heat when I got a text from the one and only fuckbuddy I am seeing right now. Said it was too hot to sleep and he knew a better way to spend the time. Of my fuckbuddies he's the one with the thickest cock (a 7" beercan). Hot sweaty fuck with breaks and two loads. Pretty exhausting. It was 1am by then and we both dozed off. Woke up an hour later with his fat cock poking my hole. Another sweaty fuck. Pounded my ass for I don't know how long and it looked like he couldn't cum again but he made me shoot my 2nd load hammering my hole. He stopped fucking after I came and I started sucking him. Managed to squeeze out another load out of him after all. He started shooting all over my face before managed to get my lips around that fat fucker.

I finally got to Hampstead Heath last weekend, It was everything I'd hoped! I'd been working in London, staying in a Holiday Inn. I couldn't arrange anything there because they insisted on taking the temp of every one going in. I didn't finish work until past 7 on Friday night (bloody job that turned out more complex) so went to eat and then was feeling horny. So thought I'd go to take a look on Hampstead Heath, I'd never been before. It was getting dusk by the time I got there but I could still see some. It seemed pretty quiet until I ventured into the trees and realised there were quite a few guys there already. After few mins I came across three guys fucking a guy who was standing against a tree, then I found a clearing with prob 8 or 9 guys, a few fucking, others watching. I went across to watch. As soon as I got there a guy knelt in front of me. I only had shorts, tee shirt and trainers on, it was a really hot night. He pulled my shorts down and started to suck me. Seconds later a finger was in my hole, I'd lubed with Ky and a dollop of vaseline to stop it drying out before I got there. I was pushed over, my hands found the tree, a meaty cock head probed my arse crack, couldn't find my opening. I reached behind to pull it to my hole. He shoves, my arse bursts with pain. Fuck, hold on I cry. He ignores me, head followed by shaft drives deeper into me. No talk, no condom. I manage to open my poppers, sniff deeply. His fucking is savage, the pain fades as the poppers kick in and his cock massages my prostate. Its so hot and humid, I pull my tee off, I'm sweating as I take this strangers cock raw in my arse. Minutes later he rams deep, grunting as he cums in my bowels. I lay forward, shocked I guess at the speed of it all. The clearing seems to have filled with guys. Hands grab my hips and pull me up, another cock seeks my hole, i feel his jeans zip against me when he bottoms out, he lasts maybe a minute before a feel a rush inside me, cum dribbles down my balls when he pulls out. I shuffle to the tree, kicking my shorts off and grabbing them with my tee as I lie forward and rest my chest on the tree. What a slut I think to myself as cock no. 3 drives into me, I can't believe I'm offering my hole to all comers. This one doesn't cum, I don't think, or the next, but then three in succession sound like they do and my hole is running wet again. I stayed there until it started getting light. I guess I took 30 or 40 cocks, perhaps some fucked me twice or more, perhaps half came inside me. Very few had condoms. As it started to get light I could tell that guys were getting ready to leave and several seemed to be looking for a hole to get off in before going. These seemed the biggest loads as cum would kind of stream out when they pulled out, although maybe my hole was pretty wide and relaxed by then too. I decided I'd had enough when it became daylight. I'd hung onto my clothes throughout, but my shorts did little to hide the state I was in. My legs were sticky with cum, i was sweaty, dirty, but felt so satisfied. I had to get the carpet cleaner on my car seat the next day after driving home!

Kenny#5 I was so thirsty that I grabbed a glass and began chugging my drink. It tasted like Vodka and Gatorade. Javier said since I finished my drink first I could have the first toke of his pipe. Luis said something to Javier in spanish and Javier told me to fuck Luis. Luis wanted my seed. I thought kinda fuzzily as I entered Luis hole that seed was a funny way to describe cum. As I was sliding in and out Javier put the pipe to my lips and said, "suck on that glass dick baby, draw it deep into your chest" Moreno began pinching my nipples and nibbling them as Kenny wriggled under Luis and pulled my balls down into his mouth as I was moving in and out of Luis ass. It was exquisite, pain, pleasure and ohhhhh as I held the smoke and it began to exit my nose and mouth.....I felt SOOOOO GOOOOD. Like superman. I felt lie I could fuck for a year. My senses went on overdrive as they all pulled and pinched and Moreno slid into my hole. I felt as if I was watching myself from above and loving being loved that way. I looked into Javiers eyes as my body floated on a sea of pleasure. He smiled and patted my head and said, "Yes baby, I'm going to make you feel this good from now on. You love dick my sexy boy" and he fired up his glass pipe and put it between my lips and whispered "suck it in faggot, take big drag and hold it for Javier". I held it and held it and as the power rose within me....I bucked and fucked and bellowed as my cock erupted in Luis and Moreno erupted in me....and I floated above the sexy scene and floated away on a cloud of pleasure.

Kenny#4 Javy moved around the bed and sat back in front of me. He fed me his sloppy cum covered cock and his friend Luis began to pound my fresh fucked ass. Kenny flipped down next to me as Moreno fucked his ass. He turned and whispered into my ear as I slurped at Javys cock and balls, " How do you like my friends? They love slutty faggots like us". Javier pulled Kennys mouth onto his dick and pushed my tongue lower into his ass. I was moaning and grunting at the pounding I was getting and I was SO turned on by the sounds, smells, taste and sights around me. I was hard as a rock. My cock bounced around as Luis pounded my hole. Javier said something in Spanish and Luis slowed down. Javy lifted my head and Kenny and I started making out as he poured coke on his belly. He then told us,"eat up amigos" so Kenny and I began snorting the pile. And then, Luis plunged balls deep into me....and my hole began to burn, the heat was intense, the feeling was amazing in my chest and my dick began to drip as he picked up the pace and Kenny and I licked the powder off Javys belly. I was numb, I was spinning, on fire, flying and SO HORNY. Moreno came with a bunch of grunts and then Kenny moved in front of me as Javier stood up. I plunged my tongue and lips into and on Kennys sloppy hole. His hole was sucking my tongue in and pushing cum out as I lapped and slurped. Kenny fed me his balls, his dick, his ass. Luis moaned loudly as he stopped pounding my ass, "Madre de dios" or something like that. He collapsed on my back as Kenny told me to squeeze my ass and milk his dick dry. I was trying to do just that whIle sucking Kennys balls when Kenny pointed his cock at me and shot his cum on my lips and face. I licked him clean and he fed me the cum from my face. We were all laying on the bed, naked and sticky when Javier walked in with a bunch of drinks and a big bong......

Disclaimers: This is my first story on BZ. This story is based on an actual experience. Feel free to contribute your own ideas to help me flesh out the story - I'm not really a writer, but I felt this had to be told. Enjoy, piggies! ---------------------------------------------- Part 1 The heat of a July afternoon in the Midwest can get really intense. But I barely noticed it as I drove toward the metropolis with an anxiety in my stomach. The car sped along the highway merrily as I grew ever closer to my destination… and my destiny. Five weeks since, I decided to take a bold step. I’ve been a bugchaser for years, but I really didn’t act on those urges and try to get myself infected. They just happened as part of the ho life, and I dealt with them accordingly. I’ve had a few STDs - the usual maladies of chlamydia and gono and the like - but this time, I was chasing down a big one. Sorta. I got in touch with a friend who has been positive for many years, and undetectable. Rick is known for HIV activism in his community, including volunteering for the clinic and AIDS hospice. He ran for a leather title a few years back and his platform that won him the title was about love and acceptance of the afflicted not only in his community but worldwide. So it’s a curious thing that he agreed to do this for me. Because I can’t get bugchasing and converting out of my head, I hatched a hair-brained scheme to find out for myself what the other successful chasers were raving about. I asked Rick to pretend to poz me. “Dude, that is not okay!” was his opening response to my request. “This bug is no picnic to live with. I get it’s not a death sentence like it used to be, but this shit will fuck you up, and your hunger to get charged up will get you in trouble.” I was prepared for this. “Rick, it’s just fantasy,” I answered. “All you have to do is fuck me like the bitch that I am, and work some poz talk into the scene. I’m not asking you to come off your meds so I can live this fantasy. It’s just that. Fantasy.” Rick went silent for a while. I suddenly felt like I crossed a line. When he finally spoke again, he said calmly, “I’m gonna send you some links to websites, some information. You don’t seem to be educated on what this all involves, and if you’re serious about doing it, then you should be informed of the commitment this lifestyle requires. And believe you me, this WILL change your life in ways you can’t imagine, Steve.” “Okay, I’ll take a look at it.” “I’m serious, Steve,” he quickly said insistently. “What you’ve asked me to do is really disrespectful, and I … I really need to think about this. I admit I’m attracted to you, and after seeing your sweet hole that night at the bathhouse, I wanted to pound you into oblivion. But I don’t appreciate you asking me to violate my boundaries like that, even though I’m undetectable, and yes it’s just play, but I’m concerned you’re going to go and seek out the real thing.” True to his word, Rick emailed the information to me. I read it, and only got more turned on. This was something I *needed* to do. Personal fulfilment, Rick’s warnings be damned. Four days after this uncomfortable phone conversation, Rick shot me a text message. “Did you read it? Are you still set on a fake conversion scene?” I hesitated. I didn’t want another lecture. I just wanted to fuck, and convert, and live my new life charging up other guys. “Hi Rick. Yes, I read it,” I texted back. “And yes, I still want to do it.” I didn’t ask him a direct question, and left it for him to fill in the blank. A few minutes passed before he answered. “Okay. I’ll do it. But we are going to have a talk about this in person when you get here. If this is what you want, then I’m going to make sure you never chase again. Understood?” I practically jumped out of my seat when I read this. I didn’t think he’d actually agree to it. I didn’t want to appear over-eager, so I gave a non-committal reply. “Yes, we need to talk about it as much as you think is necessary. When should I come visit?” “Five weeks. How’s the 24th looking for you?” I checked my calendar. I had no commitments that day. “That’s fine.” “Come to the brownstone. 4pm sharp.” Our conversation ended there. As I entered Rick’s neighbourhood, a growing mood of nervousness and anxiety began to manifest itself in my environment. I parked the car a few blocks from the brownstone, and just sat there for a minute. I need to get moving. It’s nearly 4 o’clock, and if I don’t show, I won’t enjoy having to ask him for this again. I looked in the rearview mirror at myself. Something behind my eyes told me Don’t do this. My dick, however, was standing fully erect while my mind raced. Remember, you’re totally safe. He’s undetectable, you’re going to be fine. And his monster dick will make you feel good. That was all the convincing I needed. I exited the car, paid for my spot, and began the trek to the brownstone. Rick was waiting for me outside when I arrived. I could smell his fat cigar well before I actually saw him. He was seated on the patio, scrolling mindlessly through his phone while hauling hard on a cock-sized stogie. He wore a simple t-shirt over his slender, underdeveloped frame, and tight khaki shorts, and had his aviators over his eyes. While not the picture of masculinity, there was a certain sexiness about the whole look. I walked over to his table, and could see a near-empty water bottle. The wind blew gently giving us a short break from the humidity of the afternoon. “I’m here,” I cheerfully announced. Rick looked up from his phone. “Good to see you made it, Steve.” He stubbed out the half-smoked cigar, and rose from his chair. The water bottle rolled off and I bent over to catch it, and missed. I suddenly felt his hand on my ass. “Hey, we’re not doing this out here,” he said. “But thanks for the preview!” “Let’s go inside,” I said, smirking. “I’ve gotta piss so bad I can taste it.” “Dirty boy! But later!” he said with a laugh. We entered the brownstone, and Rick sidestepped so I could rush to the bathroom and relieve myself. I unzipped, and my piss poured forth in a hot, thick stream of golden yellow. I couldn’t believe how much I was holding, but I also had to remember how much water I drank on the way here. The road to the city is a long one, and combined with July heat made for a very thirsty chaser. After washing my hands, I left the bathroom and found Rick on the couch, quite comfortable. He poured a drink for each of us, and patted the seat next to him gently. The conversation was more of what we discussed on the phone, and was frequently a carbon-copy of that conversation. “This really isn’t my thing,” Rick admitted. “When I was first diagnosed, I had to think of all the guys I played with around that time. And because I didn’t know I was positive, I infected someone I really liked.” He seemed to be remembering it as if it were yesterday. “When he got sick, I felt so guilty. I locked myself in my room for days, and just couldn’t stop crying. Not for me, but for this guy. And I had the unhappy duty of telling him in person that I was the one who pozzed him. He socked me right in the nose for that, and I never saw him again. Too bad. Dave was a sweet guy.” “You don’t know what happened to him?” I asked. “Nope. He blocked me on social media, and although I looked for him at the clubs a couple times, he was just gone. It broke my heart. So I want you to know that your actions today will have consequences that will hurt others if you’re not careful.” “I am quite prepared,” I said. “You did a good job educating me on the subject, and I am making the choice that is right for me.” I wasn’t about to let him change my mind because then we might not fuck. Rick then took one of my hands, and squeezing it, he said, “Are you ready?” His tone was all seriousness, and he was letting me know that I was in control of what happened next. Doubt crossed my mind for a second. I think it was at this point when I began to feel the most nervous about it. “Yes,” I answered as fearlessly as I could. He released my hand, and exhaled loudly through his nose. Rick then looked away, giving one of his thousand-yard stares that he was known for when something that questioned his morals crossed his path. “Okay,” he said with resignation. “If this is REALLY what you want, okay. I’ll help you. But remember - you asked for it, and if you can’t handle the fantasy, you have the power to stop it.” Something about the way he said that made me wonder what kind of script he was going to follow. And my hard dick made itself known again. Rick saw the rise in my shorts. “I think I already know the answer,” he said with a smile, grabbing my growing cock. He stood up while holding on to my swelling member, and said, “Come on. Let’s do this.” I obediently followed Rick to his playroom, guided all the way by his pulling of my dick.

last night I was really itching for some. I'm a bit picky so I hit up my friend who's a cop, he's around 40 years old, fit, buzzed head, blue collar kind of guy. now let me tell you a bit about his dick. it's huge- about 9 inches long and almost as thick as a coke can- and I'm no power bottom. every time we've tried to fuck with a condom it hurts too much, I've even cried before lol. anyways I started prep about a month ago and decided to finally take the plunge into some hot bareback. I told him he could fuck me raw. I was over in about 30 min, sucking his dick until he flipped me on my back and started eating me out like never before, I guess he was excited. he slicked it up and i took a hit of amyl and the entire fuckin thing was in me in about 20 second- something that never happened before in the 6 months or so that I've known him. let me tell you, it felt fucking great. I blew my load in 10 minutes and he blew his inside me shortly after. will definitely be going back for more soon.

It's not the fantasy that is the issue. It's the fetisization and dehumanization that is point and problem. You can have fantasy of being taken by a strong man or raped by an individual, but what I'm talking about are those that fantasize about Big Black Dick or big Arab dick and go out in real life to collect BBC or force themselves on certain ethnicities even when these ethnic individual stated they are a bottom lol. People are more than just a dick or ass. This is fucking Pokemon human beings aren't meant to be collected.

For someone who claims "not to be a writer", you've written one of the hottest fucking stories on here. I definitely like the way your mind works.

I love dirty whores with loose sloppy fuckholes that have clearly been used by a lot of men. It shows what a dirty trash fucking whore the cumdump is and how much it gets its hole trashed

Getting to the point of no return and using my body weight ( I’m a stocky bear and I normally fuck skinny runts) to pin the bottom down with me in as deep as possible. then my rigid dick spitting thick ropes of cum as deep as possible, love the feeling os warmth once I’ve cum

For me it"s - every asshole feels different, hearing my sub moan when I thrust into him but mainly - shooting my load in another man/boy. I get off on seeding as many mes as I can. I've spread my seed round the world.

My dad was a complete deadbeat but luckily my best friend's dad looked after me the way my dad should have. He'd take me and my friend camping, fishing and just generally looked out for me. He was a real handsome dude and I really enjoyed being close to him. One time when camping it was just me and him in the shower block. He helped me undress then he got naked. I remember thinking how huge his cock and balls were. He asked me into the shower and he soaped me up and washed my hair. He asked if I wanted to do the same for him. He was facing me and I couldn't take my eyes off his junk. He said, you gunna stare at it all day or you gunna take care of it. So I did. I sucked him for a few weeks and eventually he was fucking me. Then I discovered he was fucking his son, my friend as well. Camping after that was so much fun. Me and my friend would lie naked side by side waiting to see who he'd fuck first. I truly loved him like a dad. Great guy.

My older brother. we had to share a bedroom and I would pretend to be sleep but watch him masturbate. I was curious about all the white stuff that shot out of his cock. One night while pretending to be asleep I "woke up" and said - "the looks good, can you show me how to do it" He told me o get in his bed - he put my hands Round his cock and showed me how he wanted me ro massage his cock. I did this and soon he was moaning and shot his load over my hands. then he masturbate me - It felt nice but I didn't shoot any sperm. Soon he had me sucking him off most nights while I stroke my cock and eventually I start producing sperm. I'm forever grateful to him for teaching me to enjoy my cock.

I checked in on Louis a few times over the next few days. Tuesday night I got home and was sitting on the couch rolling a few joints when my phone buzzed. It was a message from Mike - “how the fuk do u stroke w/o hurting?” I laughed and replied “gentle. don’t try n get off in 15 seconds.” A few texts back and forth (each one more erotic than the last) and I was on my way over to his place. Mike greeted me at the door in just a pair of flannel boxers along with a big grin. We sat on the couch and Mike slid his boxers off. “How do you normally stroke?” I asked him. He looked embarrassed for a moment before realizing that was silly since that’s why I was here. He grabbed a fistful of cock and stroked about two seconds and then yelled out “Ow!” I chuckled and told him “I told you - gentle. It looks like you’re trying to yank it out of your body. Try just using two or three fingers and short strokes.” Mike tried it and gave me a funny look like it was doing nothing for him. “Try varying the pressure and the number of fingers until you find what feels good. You’re gonna have to train your dick to something different than the fist it’s used to” I said. I reached over and circled his cock with my thumb and forefinger and stroked gently. Switching to my thumb and middle finger, I could almost get all the way around. While he stayed hard, it didn’t seem to be getting him closer to an orgasm. I added a second finger with my thumb and then a third and that seemed to be the sweet spot. Once I added a little twist to the stroke, he really seemed to be enjoying it. I kept going, enjoying the feeling of this stud's cock in my hand as I jacked him. His eyes were closed and I wondered what he was imagining while I stroked him. “Oh fuck!” Mike yelled out and I felt his cock start to thicken. He reached out his hand and cupped it just in time to catch the first rope of cum that shot out. It was thick and white and shot out with some force. Two more shots fired out of his cock as my strokes slowed down. I stopped stroking and the next three spurts of cum were not as hard and then the last pulses of his cock just dribbled out. It was hard not to lean down and suck all of the cream off his cock but until the piercing had healed the last thing he needed was my spit all over it. Mike’s chest stopped heaving and he looked over at me with a huge smile. “Thanks, man. I needed that” Mike said to me. “No problem. I guess now you know what works with that fuckin hot cock of yours” I replied. I looked directly into his eyes and said "So, ya mind helping me out too?" He looked back at me suspiciously and said "What do you have in mind?" I gave another grin and said "You should probably learn how to suck a pierced cock so you can give pointers to the guys when they suck you." Mike chuckled and replied "I've sucked my share of pierced dicks. I think I can talk the guys through it to avoid the teeth banging and gagging." I was disappointed, but I had another idea. "Well, then, I guess you're just gonna have to give up your ass, cuz I'm not leaving here blueballed" I said confidently. "You think so, huh?" Mike replied, smirking. "Mmhmm. you cant fuck until your dick is healed so you either suck me or let me fuck you. Your choice" I said back to him. I really wanted the fuck, but either would be fine with me. He shook his head but a grin grew across his face. He stood up slowly, kicked off his boxers and then kneeled on the sofa with his head over the back. I wasn't going to give him a chance to change his mind and stood up and dropped my jeans. Going commando was a smart move and my cock had soon grown to full length. I kneeled down and pulled his muscled ass cheeks apart. There wasn't much hair on his ass or legs and I wasted no time in burying my face between the muscled globes. "Ahh, fuck. That beard feels so fucking good on my ass..." he said and then a few moments later added "Oh shit, your tongue is even better" as I began to eat his hole out. He reached back and spread his butt cheeks wider and I rewarded him by slipping my tongue inside. The taste was incredible and I kept breathing deep to experience his scent. My cock was as rigid as it had ever been and started to leak on to the rug. I was conflicted, I loved rimming his ass but I badly wanted to fuck him. The compromise was to tongue fuck him for a few more minutes before I gave my dick a chance. When he squeezed his ring around my tongue, I knew it was time. I stood up and my cock was pointing straight out, the head covered in a sheen of precum. I played with his hole for a few seconds, dragging my piercing over his hole several times before pushing it in. Mike let out a low quiet growl as the PA and then the head made their way just inside the outer ring. I pulled off my sleeveless tee and leaned forward, resting my hairy chest on his back. Mike arched his back and my hips began to rock, pushing the steel and flesh deeper inside. He wasn't really tight, but was working his ass muscles to let me in while also keeping a firm grip on my shaft. As much as his appearance and demeanor oozed "100% top", the experience I was getting from his ass told a different story. Mike was a talented bottom. I held his hands on the back of the couch while I pumped in faster. He leaned his head back on my shoulder and let out several moans while my hips bounced off his muscled ass cheeks. I drilled him like this for several minutes before I was fighting off the impending orgasm. My cock slid out of him and I tugged on his hips, whispering "on your knees, down on the floor" in his ear. Mike slid off the couch and backed up, bracing his hands on either side of his body on the sofa's bottom cushions. The break was just long enough to keep my dick hard and let my balls relax. My hands spread his butt apart again and while kneeling on one knee I slid right back in. This time I was more forceful and Mike seemed to be into it. "Oh god that feels so good. That's why I wanted to get a PA" Mike moaned out. Only a few minutes into this position and he was working his ass back into each of my thrusts. The slap of skin filled the room and the mixture of precum and spit inside his hole were giving off their usual heavenly sounds. We kept going like this for a while, both of us moaning or grunting depending on the intensity of my thrusts. I was getting close again, but didn't want to cum quite yet. Slowing down the pace, I then shoved in hard and left myself planted for a moment. My cock slowly withdrew until the head and piercing popped free and I snarled "On your back." Mike crawled up on the couch and laid back, his ass hanging off the edge and still gaping a little. He grabbed his legs and pulled them back, showing a lot more agility than I expected from his muscled body. Grinning back at him, I guided my slick cock back to his exposed hole. My cock toyed with his hole while I wrapped my fist around his very hard shaft. I saw a mixture of emotions in his eyes while I stood there. There was desire in his eyes, which I assumed was him needing my cock back inside him. There was pain, probably from his new piercing in his engorged cock. And there was pleasure from the fuck so far. In one swift motion, I planted my cock back inside his warm chute and flexed my hand around his cock. Mike's eyes got big, just like the smile on his face. I kept flexing my hand as my cock pumped in and out. Before too long his breathing started to get labored and then I felt him start to clamp down on my cock. My grunts got louder and turned into a growl while I stared deep into his eyes. With a few more squeezes with my hand, I aimed his cock back just in time to watch the first rope shoot out and land on his clean shaven face. The next few seconds were a blur as his ass milked my own load out. Three days worth of built up cum shot like a cannon out of my cock, painting the walls of his guts with my thick cream. Focusing again on the stud that I was balls deep in, all I saw in his face was pleasure along with cum dripping off his chin. We each fired off a few last jets of cum, Mike's landing on his chest and mine adding to the pool inside him. As my breathing returned to normal, I leaned in and licked the cum off his chin before feeding it to him. He sucked my tongue into his mouth, leaving my tongue coated in his spit not his cum. My cock started to soften and I pulled it out, watching some cum dribble down his ass. I ran my finger up the center of his chest, scooping up some more of his jizz before sucking it off my finger. Grabbing my jeans, I pulled them on and then put my shirt back on. I kept staring back at him and his eyes were fixed on me too. With my boots laced, I said "I hope that cock is as talented as your ass." He grinned back at me and replied "I think so, but it needs time to heal and shit like this didn't help. It's sore as fuck right now." I chuckled and said "Well, next time I'll just tie your hands behind your back and fuck you doggy. That should make it easier on your dick." Walking to the door I turned and gave him a wink before walking out and going back to home. When I got there I looked at my phone and I had a message from Mike. "Thursday?"

Since you freaks can't wait, I'll put in the 2nd part now. ------------------- Part 2 Rick led me down the narrow steps into the basement of the brownstone, still grasping my dick. I could smell a little mildew and the remains of a recently-burned cigar. The beige-carpeted floor seemed unusually stiff under my feet. To my great surprise, we encountered no cobwebs that basements are known for growing. Rick opened a door on his right, which led to an enclosed room with the furnace and water heater, and another door beyond them. Rick unlocked this door, finally releasing my throbbing cock (which was begging for release at the anticipated event). He went into the lightless room, flipped a switch on the wall, and it was suddenly illuminated in dark red. I could make out a sling, shelving on one wall with a variety of bottles that I assumed were either lube or alcohol, a large number of small identical cases that were probably porn DVDs, and an odd-looking chair in an opposite corner. The details of the room were not immediately clear to me, and the deep red of the lights confused my view. Rick closed the door, and ordered me to strip naked. As I did so, he stood silently against the wall and watched me. I gathered up my clothes, which he took and placed somewhere on the other side of the dungeon. “Hop in the sling,” Rick ordered. “I’ll be just a minute.” I did as he instructed, and climbed into the sling. The springs squeaked under my weight, and I began to put my feet through the holders. As I was doing this, Rick was doing something that I couldn’t clearly see, and I heard movement, but my activity with the feet kept me from focusing on whatever he was doing. I heard a drawer open, a little rustling, two sharp snaps, and the drawer closing. I had my feet elevated fairly quickly and awaited his return. I heard a metallic “click”, then the hiss of a torch. The sudden illumination allowed me to see that he was lighting not one but TWO thick cigars. He got the cherry burning in each, and the room was suddenly fragrant with the odor of sweet tobacco. Rick walked over to me and stuck one of the cigars in my mouth. “We’re going to blacken your lungs, faggot,” he said with a shift in his voice. I started to protest, “I don’t smoke, buddy,” but he stuck it in my mouth mid-sentence. “Trust me, you do now. You wanna be a poz pig like me? This is part of that. Optional, but much better if you give in to it. Let me know if it’s too strong for you.” I took a draw on the stick. The acrid taste of burning tobacco filled my mouth, and although I expected it to be akin to a mouthful of fire, it was not. Not one bit. Smooth and cool, and actually quite flavourful. It was clear I had no say in this matter, so I at least gave it a chance. I stuck the big thing in my jaw, and just got used to the feeling. I think I like a cock there better, but whatever. Rick walked to the shelf with the bottles and kept his back to me. I had correctly guessed they were lube bottles. He took one down, popped it open, and turned it upside down to pour into his hand. He might have been checking the thickness of the lube because he closed it loudly, put the bottle back on the shelf, wiped his hands, and got a different one. Rick opened the new bottle, poured some into his other hand, and closed the lid. “This’ll do.” He returned to the sling and placed the bottle in the holder. I tried to regulate my breathing, but between anxiety and the unexpected cigar, it resulted in a lot of loud exhalations. Rick noticed the gar burning in my jaw, and with annoyance, he said, “Hey, those are expensive. Smoke it right or die.” I took the burning rod in my hand and let instinct guide me on smoking it, though I had no idea what I was doing. Rick placed his own cigar in a nearby ashtray, and began to undress. His body was almost totally white as if he had never spent an hour in the sun in his life. The frame was just as I remembered - slender with no muscular development, and a bit of a paunch at the bottom of his abdomen. His dick was a sight to behold - a good eight or nine inches with no foreskin, average thickness, and curved slightly upward. I didn’t get a good look at his ballsack, but I remember they were not particularly droopy. A brown mole sat on the right side of his pelvis. And then I saw something new -- a small but unmistakable biohazard tattoo on the opposite side. Why had I not noticed it before? “Oh, right”, I thought to myself. “He was wearing a jockstrap that night in the bathhouse. The waistband probably covered it so it would be a surprise for anyone lucky enough to remove it.” Rick took the lube bottle in his hand and slicked himself up. Then he brought the bottle right to my butthole and squeezed it hard to get the lube inside me. He began to push hard on the bottle as well, and I felt the breach of plastic in my sphincter. “Ouch,” I said. “Take it easy.” “I thought I told you to smoke, fucker.” This guy had flipped a switch since we were upstairs. I was no longer with a trusted friend, but a guy bent on doing some damage to me for the fun of it. I found myself holding my breath a bit while this passed through my mind. Then Rick replaced the bottle in the holder, crossed the room again, and after wiping his hands, took up his cigar again. He pulled hard on it, and turned back to me. His nose jet resembled a dragon, ready to spit flame and fire at me. It was fucking hot. I was now more acclimated to the cigar, and the room began to get a little foggy. Rick returned to me, and bent over my waiting form in the sling. He got right in my face, and said, “This is your last warning. Are. You. Sure. Because when this train begins, there is no stopping it until you are bred.” Again with the doubt! I trusted him, and while I was enjoying the dominance he was displaying, his demeanour was not something I had mentally prepared for. My mind screamed, “Do not do this!” But I brushed it away, and all hope of reversing this scene was lost when I answered him, “I have to know. I want to be a poz pig.” He weighed my answer with no change of emotion or expression, and without warning, he rammed his cock into me. I winced in surprise, almost burning my chest with the lighted cigar. “Then welcome to hell,” he growled in a low voice. “You’re going to die today. But don’t forget - you asked for it!!”

Here's where I perceive at least some difference, Ranger Rick. The original post asked about "thug used as synonymous with large muscular hung black male. " Synonymous has a specific meaning - that the two terms are equivalent, ie all thugs are large muscular hung black males, and vice versa. That's what a synonym is. Not all white guys from rural areas are rednecks (and not all rednecks are from rural areas, and it's at least debatable whether all rednecks are white). I wouldn't use the term redneck for *all* rural white guys, and I'd call out someone who treated the two as synonyms, but I think the term can have some use. I'd also point out: when the term thug is applied to black men, it's usually (in my experience) casting him as a criminal or criminal-adjacent, at least, and often to suggest that "thugs" need to be locked up away from decent people. Given this country's long, storied history of racism being used to marginalize black men, painting them as uniquely dangerous and in need of "control", I'm a lot more squeamish about the use of that term than I am about "redneck" - one which many of those to whom it's applied thinking it's a term of pride, and none of whom are subject to the kind of institutional oppression so-called "thugs" are.

Here are my thoughts: 1. The feel of an ass around my cock. 2. The deep personal satisfaction of seeding another man. 3. Being able to make another man happy with my cock and the control I have of that person be cause of it.

There is an old saying in life – “many a good tune played on an old fiddle” – well didn’t my mancunt get to realise how true that was last night. Apart from a couple of spasmodic regulars and one every Friday night regular (except tonight as he has a work function), things have been horribly dry for this little cumdump in recent months. I have gone from getting bred up to 20 times a week to two or three if I am lucky – it is the leanest period I have had in 20 years. Last night I was on Grindr – hoping, horny and praying. A guy hit me up – saying he was visiting friends in the area and was keen to fuck me – if I was interested. We exchanged some pics and his cock shot got me straight away – fat and thick. I gave him my address and punctual as – he was over within the hour. I had readied myself and opened the door in a jockstrap and my t-shirt. As is usual when I invite a new fuck over, I throw on some music, whack a bit of porn on the tele and use the mood lighting. He was in his late 60’s I am guessing. I didn’t give a fuck – I just wanted cock in me. In no time I had his fly undone and was presented with this beautiful fat cut cock, which I immediately swallowed. He was groaning already and I thought “don’t you fucking cum sunshine.” He didn’t, and started to undress himself why I treated his meat with my mouth. We left behind a trail of his clothes as we worked our way into the bedroom. Then he got to work – man this man had magic fingers. The groaning changed from him to me in no time at all. “That bubble butt deserves a right royal fucking,” he said. He asked for lube and although I don’t like it much I handed him the tube while he kept touch typing on the lips of my mancunt, spitting on his fingers, easing a couple in, then pulling them out and massaging my outer hole. I was insane by the time he slid his cock into me doggy style. He probably had a blue pill, but who cares. For the next 40 minutes he fucked me in every position, slid his cock in and out at different angles, pulled right out and plunged back in. He was some fuck. In his younger days I am sure he made plenty of bottom boys squirm and squeal with delight just as I was last night. I actually got off on thinking how many holes he would have made happy with that lovely fat cock over the decades. By the time he came – he sweat was dripping all over me. As he gradually pulled out he was totalled. I immediately whipped around and went to work to clean his cock. “I wasn’t expecting that,” he said gasping for breath. “And I wasn’t expecting to get so well fucked so it’s the least I could do,” I replied. I spent a good five minutes working my mouth over every centimetre off his dick and ball sac. I knew there was going to be no “seconds” but he was one hell of a fuck. Turns out he lives 200 kms south of Sydney and was on his way back home when he picked me up on Grindr. He never asked for a condom and I never offered one. I slept happily with his load in me and I felt the warmest I have been for some time. We swapped numbers and I told him I would always be available anytime he was back in town. Never judge a book by it’s cover!

I've got a 19yo non-bio son, I'm a 50y year ol bear daddy. I breed my son at least twice a week in my bed. Last weekend he was too busy studying and couldn't get to mine so I went round to his cuz he said his bio dad was out - yeah, he lives with him.We start as usual getting naked with me eating his ass then fucking his mouth. Then I put him on his belly and mount his ass. I'm fucking him deep, nice long thrusts. I'm getting close and just about to shoot when his dad opens the bedroom door.. I couldn't stop - I had to cum so his dad got an eyeful of my hairy ass pumping up and down as I shot my load into his son's asshole. he just stood and stared. he looks at me and Drew and said that looks like you guys are enjoying yourselves.He knows Drew likes to be fucked so it w no great surprise. Gotta say I was horny and fucking proud that my son's dad saw me breed his boy.

To all of you guys reading this who drive a car and are experiencing the nationwide shortage of gas money, this is an open plea - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE “I don’t have any gas money” SCAM Do you not realize that every other fucking moron on your app trying to make bank on spank is using the exact same stupid con? Think it through - If you’re out of gas and can’t afford to get any more, how are you going to get to me for me to give you money to buy gas to get to me, and if you could get to me in the first place, why should I give you money just to subsidize your sexual habit? Not shitting you - every single time I spend any time at all on the apps I get, without exception, at least two and often more young fatheads who try to spin me up for a hookup only to tell me at the last that they’re on empty and broke, but if I’ll just give them some gas money they’ll be right over. It’s become such a joke now that any of you still trying to get by with this wheeze are just embarrassing yourselves. If you’re not going to play unless a guy opens his pocket first, at least be up front about it for fuck’s sake and quit pretending you’re not a vendor. Even if you’re trying to make it some kind of code for what it really means, it still just sounds ridiculous. I’m tired of having my intelligence insulted by dumbasses with a shitty business model. Do us all a favor and give it a rest. Because if you try it on me you’re going to waste your time and I’m going to tell you the same thing I tell all the others: I never have to pay for sex, sweetie - for all the men who come to me again and again, my ass is the reward.

I met a 30 something muscle bear off scruff. I agreed I would suck his balls dry. when I got to his he was naked except for his jockstrap - massive bulge. I serviced his bulge then got his cock out - not the longest but he ws so fukkin thick with a big 4skin. I put my mouth round his shaft and started sucking. I must have been doing something good cuz he was groaning and grunting and holding my head on his cock pulling my mouth further on to his shaft till my nose was buried in his crotch. he told me he hates coming on a dude's face and he needs to cum in my mouth and swallow. then he asks if I'm ok if he holds my head so I don't pull off -I said yeah won't be a problem. I've been sucking cock for years. so I'm working on his shaft and massaging his balls. his breathing gets shallower and I can tell he's getting close. he grunts that he's gunna cum, he pulls my head on to his cock and his first jolt of seed hits the back of my throat - now it's not just a squirt - it's like I'm sucking on a meaty super soaker - that's followed by at least 8 more powerful shots - I haven't swallowed yet so my mouth is full of sperm. finally I start to swallow it all down. he thanked me and told that was the best blow job he had. I told him he was the most powerful shooter ever to cum in my mouth. I still blow him bout once a month. I still haven't met a man who can shoot such a huge load

Just enjoy and do what feels good and right, sometimes labels and too much thought, makes you lose out on living. Tbh, I have younger and had older, no problems, just enjoyed myself.

i think one of the bigger blocks the gay community may have to seeing racism is that many (most?) individually do not want to be racist. i'd wager that most consider racism to be repugnant. i think for most, racism is just another form of ethnocentricity. I.e., a lot of racist notions are culturally programmed in as the 'norm,' with no negative connotation associated by the one who feels it's 'just normal.' i think the gay community could have a leg up on understanding this because, while being gay is not a race, we're a social minority that has been subjected to stereotyping and prejudice. For instance, i do not fit the stereotypes many have for a gay guy, so i have to tell people i'm gay if i want them to know. It also means i often inadvertently fly under the radar. In the break room, if people think they are among all straights, some let their true feelings and thoughts show about 'gay' people, not knowing that the person they are sharing those stereotypes with is gay. They are relating to their idea of a person rather than the actual person. i think that is why so much bias, prejudice, persists. A lot of time we don't see it for what it is because we know we don't want to be prejudiced. But not wanting to be something is not equal to not being that. We can also do reverse bias/stereotyping where our stereotype has what we consider a positive association. We don't think of it aa a stereotype because we have a positive association with it. For example: "Big Black Cock" (BBC). In the gay community, having a big cock is generally a good thing, so many look at the term "BBC" as a compliment, and "hey, i'm not prejudiced, i have lots of black friends." One may have black friends, but does one have friends who happen to be black?

Love to be filled deep by a poz top that gets dominate and makes me take their load. Verbal is big for me it sets the hole mood. Dislike: a top who is verbal online then barely talks in person. I dont hear very well on my right side so i need the communication.

Nothing's wrong with the statement. I look forward to the day when a Republican actually proposes something that would in fact accomplish that goal and not enrich our Grifter-in-Chief. Nothing's wrong with being a patriot, either. I look forward to the day when it's a term that can accurately be used to describe Republicans. Nothing's wrong with wanting America to succeed. Some of us just don't believe you show love for country by blowing a multi-trillion dollar hole in the budget to give ginormous tax breaks to the 0.01% top wealthiest people in the country so they can buy a seventh vacation home. Some of us don't believe you show love for country by deliberately expanding our poisoning of the environment. Some of us don't believe you show love for country by setting out to cripple the United States Postal Service deliberately, in order to ensure voting by mail this fall is screwed up beyond repair. Some of us don't believe you show love for country by steering millions of taxpayer dollars to the private companies owned by the president. In other words, we want the same things you claim to. We just know you'll never be able to produce them with Hair Furor in office.

Part 4 Rick undid the straps, and guided me over to a soft-looking couch I had not previously noticed. He put down a dog training pad on the seat, and said, “Kneel on it.” I climbed on to the couch with a wobble, still not fully balancing after he inflicted such torture on my hole. Rick got the lube bottle from the sling, slicked himself up, but gave none to me. I looked at him quizzically. “No lube?” “Nope. Your blood will provide all the lube you need.” I dropped my head as I positioned my ass in the air. Whatever happened next, there was no going back. I wanted to tell him to stop, that I can’t continue because of the bleeding. Blood play isn’t my thing at all. As he climbed on the couch and positioned himself behind me, I let out a small whimper. “This is it,” I thought. “I brought this on myself. But it feels so right...!” This time, Rick’s cock caressed my hole. He let out a soft gasp as he entered me. The lube was nice and cool, but alternated between pain and pleasure. Rick took his time now, and fucked me in a way that suggested he wanted me to feel every second of this. But it didn’t last. The angle was no good, and he kept sliding back off the couch on his left foot. Rick pulled out and stood up to full height. “Flip over,” he ordered. I complied, happy to be back on my back and off my elbows. I raised my legs and pointed the toes at Jebus. Rick got on the couch again, and returned to fucking me. “This hole’s great,” he said. “Good hole… good hole… good hole… good POZ hole…” He was almost in a trance. The instinct to breed and destroy had fully taken over. I couldn’t see his eyes clearly, but I could certainly see his face. It was suddenly angelic - calm, peaceful, relaxed. “This is his natural environment,” thought I. “He’s doing it, and it feels amazing.” I was suddenly in heaven, and forgot to worry about my bleeding rectum. His cock was stopping the bloodflow, maybe? I like to imagine that it was. Rick continued to plow, and then his body felt really hot against mine. I saw his otherwise shapeless physique go tense, and he dropped a bead of sweat on me. His features finally came into full view as he suddenly pitched the head downwards to look me square in the face. “This is it,” he groaned. “Breathe your last as a neg man, Steve. You ready for it?” I gave a dramatic pause. “Yes. Do it,” I fearlessly answered. Rick’s motions increased, his physical power overwhelming me, his rhythms gaining speed. He was drilling me HARD, and pain was becoming the dominant feature of our fucking. His cock rammed in and out of my hole in a blink. He would fully withdraw, then slam back in. Withdrew again, and re-enter with force. My balls began to ache from all the tension and physical assault. And within a few seconds, his torso lurched up toward the ceiling head first as he let out a primal scream of uncharacteristic fury. The deed was done, and his potentially charged swimmers were moving to a new location in my red district. I suddenly envisioned a cartoony image of toxic sperm shooting down a bright red shaft and making a right turn at the gash created by the metallic condom, and it made me chuckle. As Rick’s thrusts slowed to stillness, he asked, “What’s so funny? Hardly a time to be laughing.” I inhaled deeply, and let out a loud sigh of relief. “It was nothing,” I lied. “I just… can’t believe I did that.” He tried to stand up, and nearly fell. “What do you mean ‘what YOU just did’? I think I deserve an honourable mention,” he said jokingly. “Right, sorry,” I quickly answered. “What WE just did. That was incredible.” I decided that the cruel condom didn’t matter, and didn’t even acknowledge it. I wanted to bask in the moment, and consider this crossed off my Fuckit List. So I put my legs down to rest, and just lay there in all our natural juices. Rick let me remain, and went back to the ashtray. He found our cigars had put themselves out, but were not fully smoked, so he relit them. Brought mine back to me for a post-coital smoke. He motioned for me to sit up so he could join me on the couch. I did so. Neither of us spoke, and he just held me in his arms. The post-pozzing bliss was welcoming, and I noticed for the first time how silent the room was. All I could really hear was his breathing, mine, and the occasional sizzle of burning tobacco. As I came down from the high, Rick finally broke the silence. “Steve.” I turned my head toward him as much as my neck would allow. “Yeah?” He hesitated before continuing. “Welcome to the club.” I fully turned myself on the couch to look fully at him. “Club?” I enquired. “Yep,” he said, voice as colourless as glass. “This is what you wanted. And now you’re going to be poz. For real.” I wanted to be horrified, angry, frightened. He deviated from the script completely, and the thought crossed my mind to stick my lighted cigar right in his eye socket. But I felt that wouldn’t do justice to what I was feeling. But exactly WHAT was I feeling? Pride? Horny? Accomplished? Violated? Yes, all four. But three of the four were positive feelings, so I did not respond in hostility. I went for a neutral reaction. “That wasn’t what I asked you to do,” I said in an even tone. “Sure, the sex was great, though the condom surprised me, but this was supposed to be a fake conversion. To see if I could go through with the real thing.” Rick’s facial expression didn’t change. He looked at me stoically and said, “You just did. And how did that make you feel?” I considered it. “Empowered. Bold. Turned on as hell!” He sucked hard on his stogie, and inhaled deeply, saying nothing. Instead of exhaling the smoke, he grabbed my face and shotgunned it into me with a kiss. “Then you were ready.” His breath was hot and dry, and my own cock reawakened at this. I realized I hadn't got off myself, no last neg load, but... maybe I didn't need it? His tone went lower, and he continued, “But if you decide that you’re NOT, you can go to the clinic in the next couple days, and reverse it.” He leaned back on the couch, and propped his left leg upon his right knee. “But I don’t think you will.” Another draw on the cigar. He was serious. He actually came off his meds to poz me. In total conflict with his message for his leather title, he went against his public standards and spread the bug just because his friend asked him to. So I brought it up. “What about your platform? That speech you recited at Mr World Leather about protecting others from the bug?” He practically dismissed the question, saying, “Well, nobody’s perfect.” His hypocrisy actually didn’t bother me. I had what I wanted, and he obliged. He committed fully to the part, and while it wasn’t precisely what I envisioned, the overall result was better and more fun. Better him than some random bathhouse fuck, and that massive dick made it worth it. Another guy might not have been so kind to me, or put in as much variety. And now I knew I could handle it. “You did really well. And I’ll be here if you need help through the conversion,” he said. “But for now, let’s get you cleaned up.” He stubbed out the cigar; I did likewise. We rose from the couch, and he guided me upstairs carefully, completely forgetting our clothes. Rick and I climbed the stairs and went into his bathroom. The place was spotlessly white. I wish I could say the same for my ruined butthole. “Stand in the tub and face the back wall,” he said kindly. I did as requested, and placed my hands on the wall for support. “You’re not going to start rimming me, are you?” Didn’t want this dude felching out the load or drinking my blood. That would be too much. “Naw, we’re just gonna have a look at your gape,” he said, getting down to his knees to see. He probed gently with a finger, and silently inspected. “Yep, it’s in there, all right,” he finally announced. “And it looks like the bleeding stopped.” I turned round to face him. “The tear is actually very small.” He put both his hands on my shoulders, and faced me head on. I dropped my head and gaze in submission. “Look at me, Steve.” I raised my head and suddenly felt shame. “Are you okay?” I blinked once, maybe twice. “Yeah, I will be.” He looked satisfied. “Okay. But remember -- you asked for it!!”

All this post tells me is that the gay “community” is not ready to have a real conversation about race. Most of the time, you are hearing from dudes who are whining about not hooking up with white dudes or who are not going to tell the truth because they are afraid of loosing sexual access to a certain group of people. Once a guy tells you he is not interested in having sexual access to you, most of these “preference” dudes feel powerless and are not interested in any conversation in which they are not in a power position. Just my opinion.

Part 8 - February Frozen In Time Conrad put on his coat and grabbed a coffee then went to sit outside in the cold January morning, having at last spent a day without masturbating allowing his sore cock some respite. He wondered if he was turning in to a degraded pervert constantly needing to blow his load every time he thought of Jack. What was even more weird was how he found it exhilarating sitting in the cold air looking at his aunties flower bed reminding him of when Jack had assaulted him outside cutting his cheek. He chuckled to himself totally chilled out and enjoying the peace and quiet. Max arrived and grabbed a coffee walking outside, he leaned down and kissed Conrad on the cheek taking him by surprise and sitting down next to him. "You told your parents then?" Max asked already knowing the answer "how have they taken it?". Conrad put his cup down "Not sure, my father is upset" he replied "just wish Charlie and..." he stopped himself. Max chuckled "Charlie told me you have a thing for sailors" he said sipping his coffee. Conrad rolled his eyes "Does Charlie tell you everything?" he asked looking at him. "Of course" Max replied "What about Harry though?" he now asked. Conrad sat in silence for a moment "To be honest I have tried to forget about him" he replied. "You never contacted him?" Max asked looking surprised. "No" he replied "I don't see any point" Conrad said then looked down "what if he is the one?". Max looked at Conrad "Do you like him?" he asked. Conrad shrugged his shoulder "I don't even know him" he said "I know he can punch" he chuckled. "He hasn't been seen around the bar for months now" Max informed him "even my wife asked her gay friends". Conrad sat up "And there has been no sight of him?" he asked looking concerned. "No" he replied "someone did say he got a job in the city" Max said "but he never hangs out around here now". Conrad nodded "Maybe I should just check in within him make sure he is okay". Max smiled and stood up "Come on back inside" he said "and if you don't contact him... well you will never know". It was the jolt Conrad needed and the following morning he sat there holding his phone for several minutes and finally sending a message to Harry apologising for not being in touch and asking if he was okay. He could see the message had been delivered but remained unread for most of the day. It took Conrad all this time to realise he had never truly got over Harry despite not even really knowing him, Harry had got in to his head though and the more he thought of him the more he found he wanted to explore any possibility that may exist. The subtle way he toyed and teased Conrad, his mischievous little grin and boyish looks, maybe he was in love with Harry but could not see it. Their trip to London was over so quickly and they were setting off for the drive back to Hampshire. Harry was sat up in bed in his swanky flat overlooking the city, he knew the text by heart but kept reading it dithering and not knowing how to answer Conrad. Moham came out of the bathroom dressed for a meeting and kissed Harry on the head, frequently popping over early morning before going to the office mixing a little business with a lot of pleasure. "Harry just answer it then either delete it or whatever" Moham said noticing he was still distracted. Harry nodded "In a minute I will" he said getting out of bed. Moham put his watch on looking at Harry "Come in at lunchtime Harry and get that sorted out" he said. Harry got back in to bed and watched Moham leave, reading the text message again he thought hard and began typing his response to Conrad. Sitting there for a moment with his finger poised over the send button he hit it and locked his phone putting it on silent. Picking up his work phone he browsed through the emails received since yesterday to see if anything needed immediate attention before taking a shower. Conrad felt his phone buzz in his pocket and hurriedly pulled it out and saw he had a message from Harry. Quickly opening it he read it and read it again, a tear fell from his eye seeing the words the from Harry 'You put me through ups and down and I can't explain why or get over you yet you still rip my heart out every time I think or see you, I don't even know you yet this is what you have done to me. It is best we leave it there I can't copy with that happening any more'. Wiping his eyes he put the phone back in his pocket unaware his father had been watching him through the mirror, he really felt heartbroken and knew he should have gone back to Harry when Max sent him his number. When they arrived home Conrad said nothing and went up to his bedroom and laid down trying to make sense of his life. Eddie knocked on the door and walked in catching Conrad wiping his eyes again. "That text you got in the car was it from Charlie's friend?" his father asked. Conrad looked at his father who closed the door "No, someone else who I realised I was fond of" he replied. Eddie sat on the bed "They blew you off?" he asked "you have always been the sensitive one Con" he said trying his best at consoling him. "He says I rip his heart out but we don't know each other apart from when he punched me" Conrad said. Eddie stifled a laugh "Sorry I didn't mean to laugh" he said sincerely. Conrad smiled "It was my fault I called him a queer" he said "now look at me just a fucking queer". "Conrad!" his father looked angry "don't ever use that language in this house" he told him off going to town. "Sorry father" Conrad said laying back down on the bed "I need Charlie here he would know what to do". Eddie patted his leg "Love can swipe your legs right from under you Conrad, you just have to deal with it". Conrad nodded "I'm sorry for being such a mess" he said in frustration. "Come down to dinner" Eddie said standing up "we love you son it just take us oldies more time to adjust". He joined them for dinner and opened up a bit more about Harry and the incident in London but left out the gay for pay part to spare them and himself the indignity of it, surprisingly both parents were supportive. Towards the middle of January Conrad was busy revising for the next part of his exam which was a practical in a few days time, he had no idea why they would do practical exams outside in January when you couldn't even get a fork in the ground. It had been a good week speaking to Charlie and Joshua twice who were now sailing up towards the Bahamas before a trip along the east coast of the US then across the Atlantic to Portsmouth for the start of March. The following week he was glad the exam was done and sent Jack a text to let him know how it had gone. Despite his urge to text Harry he decided not to thinking that was that, so preoccupied by Harry that by the weekend he realised there had been nothing from Jack so he strolled up to the manor Saturday morning. Simon spotted him and walked down the stairs opening the front doors just as Conrad came through the gate, he looked tired and upset calling Conrad over. It was the first time he had seen or spoken to him since that night and had to hold back his anger towards him. "Conrad, I think you better come in" Simon said going back inside leaving the door open. Conrad walked in closing the door "What is wrong?" he asked looking at him "Jack?" he suddenly blurted out. Simon went over and hugged him "He is upstairs and is in a very bad way". Conrad cried out and went running up the stairs with Simon following him, he rushed through the bedroom doors and fell to his knees crying. Jack was hooked up to a ventilator and wires going to a monitor showing his life signs. Simon knew this was coming since his last bout of illness but even he broke down seeing Conrad in such a state. All the time Jack went on about Conrad, he only now saw first hand how truly attached Conrad and Jack had become through their friendship. The initial shock overwhelmed Conrad and eventually he calmed down and went to sit by his side, Simon closed the doors softly and left them alone. Conrad visited every evening and stayed for many hours holding Jack's hand who was in an unresponsive state. Sunday afternoon at the close of January it was cold and snow flurries filled the air, Conrad was sat with Jack holding his hand as usual and giving Simon a break who left with the doctor. Conrad talked about plants and what he had been learning that week when he felt Jack squeeze his hand gently. He cried a lot sitting there and Simon had been frank and honest telling him it was only a matter of days. The one person in life who apart from Charlie that knew Conrad inside out was lying in this frail state. He held on to Jack's hand tighter like he was letting him know he was here. Conrad stroked Jack's arm and spent time looking at his various tattoos mumbling away to him about them. He found the scorpion on his bicep that he never really noticed or paid attention to it before. The stinger part had drops painted in red landing on a skull and crossbones, underneath was a cupid holding the letter A and a hibiscus flower entwinned around the letter C. Conrad got his phone out and took a picture of it not understanding the significance of them, he knew it would really upset his parents but he wanted to get the scorpion one done in honour of Jack and everything he had done for him. Something about it just reminded him so much of Jack, Simon walked in just as he took the picture. "He was always proud of those tattoos, symbolised many things in his life" Simon said sitting next to Conrad. Conrad put his phone away "I never really paid much notice to them" he said looking at Simon. "You getting one done yourself?" Simon asked "ah, the scorpions tail and the drops of venom". Conrad smiled looking at Jack "It is your venom inside both of us" he said. Simon remained silent for several minutes "You took advantage of me that night" Conrad said glancing at him. "I know" Simon confessed "I did warn you" he said standing up feeling he should leave. Conrad patted the seat "Sit down Simon" he said "Jack and I are brothers of sorts, we both have your virus". Simon smirked "Yes you have both inherited my DNA" he replied. Conrad glanced at him "I guess Harry is as well?" he asked but nodded answering his own question. "You got Jack's strain as well" Simon remarked and Conrad looked at him "yes he told me he finally got you good in the greenhouse". "It doesn't mean I forgive you" Conrad said in mild anger "you must have known I didn't understand". Simon looked at Jack "You will either love or hate me Conrad same as Jack did" he said. "You reckon?" Conrad replied "I can't get past the anger towards you at the moment" he said blinking back tears. Simon spoke softly "Jack loved two people Adam and me but he for some reason he completely adored and love you even more". Conrad looked at Simon "He never said anything to me" he said looking sad. "Jack's way, if he had told you then things would have got complicated and hard just like now" Simon explained. Conrad sniffed "Jack is one brutal arse wrecker" he said half smiling looking at Jack. Simon chuckled and patted his shoulder "That is why I would never let him lose on my arse". "One day he held me in his arms and looked me in the eye like he was making love to me" Conrad admitted. Simon smiled "He probably was Conrad, you really don't understand how much he really thought of you". Conrad shook his head and ran his hand along Jack's arm stroking it lovingly, the snow began to fall heavily and coated the land in a brilliant whiteness against the dark clouds. Just as darkness was creeping in the heart monitor flatlined, his body finally unable to fight any longer. Jack passed away peacefully with Conrad holding his hand. Simon reached over grabbing Conrad and hugging him tightly feeling every heart breaking sob from Conrad entering in to his body. Simon could hear the hurt and devastation in his cries, he pushed Simon away and leaned over kissing Jack one last time then walked out without a word to Simon. Crying all the way out of the manor, Simon watched from the window then turned to Jack and kissed him on the forehead placing the sheet over him then looked out the window again just as Conrad turned to look up 'stupid kid' he said upset, annoyed and angry. Simon turned the light off and placed the call to the undertakers and doctor. He stood there unsure if he was angry at Conrad or Jack, in the darkness he sat talking to Jack until the doctor arrived. Conrad walked in to the house and his mother came out of the sitting room and saw his tear streaked face, she ran over and hugged him knowing full well what it meant. He spent the rest of the evening trying to be consoled by his parents. The loss of Jack hit him badly and he spent the next few days in his bedroom unable to face or talk to anyone. His heart truly broken and bursting in to bouts of tears, thankfully he had a week off college which did nothing to help his sadness frequently breaking down during the day and crying himself to sleep at night. There had been no movement at the manor and many of the neighbours dropped flowers off as word spread of Jack passing away. Simon locked himself away sorting out the arrangements, he sent a few messages to some of the wealthy people that Jack had come to know from their parties telling them the funeral would be on Friday at 2pm. Simon pondered at first but eventually wrote an invitation to Conrad telling him the arrangements. Joshua was devastated seeing Conrad looking so upset and desperately wanted to be there for him, Charlie was the same and provided some comfort for Joshua who was badly upset and wanted to hold Conrad. Jody heard the doorbell ring and placed the tea towel down to answer the front door. "I'm sorry to disturb you so late I have this for Conrad" Simon said handing the envelope over. Jody looked at him "Simon isn't it, from the manor?" she asked. Simon nodded "Yes, it is Jack's funeral arrangements" he said nodding to the envelope. "My condolences" she said sympathetically "do you want to come in for a cup of tea or something?" Jody asked him. "No thank you" Simon said shaking his head "it has been a hard time" he said walking away back up the road. Conrad sat there looking at it in his bedroom wondering if Simon did it as a friend or just because he thought he should. He read it again, the service was at 2pm and burial at 3pm at a small church and cemetery that was within walking distance of Hibiscus Drive. It was a place Jack had already chosen having loved the spot when he tended the gardens before working at the manor. Adam was hunched over in tears in Moham's office Monday morning having just heard the news. Harry stood there unsure what was going until Moham explained to him that he was to accompany Adam and him on Friday to a funeral. Harry learnt that Adam had been having a long term fling with Jack for years whenever they could meet up. Harry brought Adam back to his flat and spent the evenings comforting and talking with him. They left Chelsea helipad just after lunchtime on Friday, Adam over the initial shock was pretty much back to himself and the helicopter landed just before 1pm. Conrad heard it arriving having no idea who it was and cared even less. The small private funeral would be a few people who Jack had been acquainted with, having been disowned by his family years ago he made strict instructions his family were not to be invited or told. Moham was first out of the helicopter and walked over to meet Simon, Adam got out and held Harry back for a moment. "Harry this will be hard but you must hold in any anger towards Simon" Adam said looking him in the eye. Harry looked towards Simon "There is no more anger Adam" he said "I don't want to speak to him". Adam shook his head "Harry you must at least be pleasant to him, Moham is friends both personally and business with him" he warned Harry. Harry nodded but unable to stop himself he gave Simon daggers when they looked at each other, this was the reason why Simon never had guys back that he had converted or stealthed. Simon though smirked and ignored him instead he went over to Adam and hugged him commenting he had been away too long from the manor and should visit. Simon couldn't help notice that Harry kept glancing out of the window like he was looking for someone. Conrad showered and got a black shirt and trousers out, it was the best he could do not having a proper suit for this type of occasion. He had already decided to skip the service and wait until the funeral party left then he would say his good bye to Jack alone. The limousine left the manor behind the hearse followed by a second one with Harry and Adam. Simon looked to number 8 and told the driver to wait a moment to see if Conrad would appear but it was quiet, a few ladies down the road had turned out to watch despite the cold wind blowing. "Who are you waiting for?" Moham asked Simon. "Hmm" Simon said "Oh, the lad Jack was teaching thought he might be attending" he replied. Moham nodded "Did I see him at the last party?" he asked. Simon shook his head "No, Conrad kept clear" he said. "Conrad?" Moham said looking at him "does he know Harry?" he asked. "I don't know" Simon replied glancing at him "he is a bit of a country boy, dam good fuck though". Moham chuckled "I am sure Harry told me he was in the garden when we left" he added looking at number 8. "Maybe they do know each other" Simon said trying to think back if Conrad had ever mentioned him. "If it is him he screamed a lot when I broke him in" Moham said smiling. Simon laughed "Anyway he is not talking to me at the moment" he said grinning. "Not another one" Moham said looking at Simon nodding "he was straight when I did him" Moham added. "Not so straight now Moham, he had sex with Jack in the greenhouse quite a few times" Simon informed him. Moham chuckled "Amazing what a little money will do to straight lads" he chuckled "brings out their gay side". Simon laughed "You are kidding me?" he asked "he was an escort in London?". "Far from it" Moham replied "but dangle a tempting carrot and well they come back for more very quickly". "What's the deal with you and this Harry then?" Simon asked wondering why he brought Harry with him. Moham smiled "Works for me as my assistant" he replied "and I am very fond of him". Simon turned to look at him "Adam's replacement?" he asked smiling "have you freed him up?". Moham laughed "I knew you still had a soft spot for Adam" he said "and he has a soft spot for Harry". Simon sat back smiling "Complicated lives they lead" he remarked. "Harry is in love with Conrad" Moham said "has been since the day they first met". Simon looked in surprise "Really?" he replied. Moham nodded "He thinks I don't know but I can see the hurt in his eyes when he thinks about him". "Well maybe Harry and you should come stay more often" Simon suggested "see if they can sort it out". Moham sat back "Looks like you have new neighbours Simon" he said nodding to the removals truck unloading. Simon looked "Number 3, I never heard it was up for sale" he replied tapping for the chauffeur to drive on. The Egginghams who lived at number 3 didn't even have time to get the for sale sign up, their house was purchased within the day of going on sale two months ago and now they had moved out and the Emir family were moving in, the mother was looking at the hibiscus bed out of the front when she noticed the limousine waiting outside number 8. Jamal her son walked over interested in seeing what was going on. Your typical 19 year old rebellious teenager, Jamal stood at five feet ten inches with jet black hair that was unruly and unkept. Deep brown eyes and his left eyebrow was pierced, he was attractive despite his unkept appearance by letting his hair do whatever it wanted. His skin a very subtle tanned shade of northern Morocco, his mother married a Moroccan business man and Jamal had inherited his fathers hair, eyes, cock and body type. His body was slim and tight with a perfect muscle definition that never changed no matter what he ate, his shining glory was the eight inches of thick prime meat. He was very proud of his ancestry but preferred to go by the name of Jam and was very English by nature. Over the past year at the all boys boarding school Jamal had found a use for his cock bedding quite a few of the other closet cases. He never classed himself as gay and a hole was just a hole for him to stick his cock in and get some pleasure. "Assume that must be there son" Simon said his eyes lighting up. Moham burst out laughing "Simon can you not think of anything else" he said. Simon smiled "You know me Moham!" he said as the limousine passed the gates on to the main road. Exiting from the limousines the 10 or so people congregated Harry avoiding Simon much as possible stood on his own whilst Adam and Moham chatted to the other guests, no one made any mention of Conrad but Simon was frequently looking around to check if he turned up. Conrad left home and noticed the removal van in the driveway of number 3, there was no one around when he walked past so Conrad continued on his way. He arrived just as the coffin was being carried out of the church to the graveyard, he waited out of sight from the group now congregating around the grave. Conrad recognised the Arab guy and there walking behind him with a tallish very attractive guy was Harry, his heart felt like it sank in his chest seeing him again. Harry looked very smart in his black suit and Conrad couldn't work out why he would be travelling with the Arab man, surely Harry didn't know Jack so why would he be here. He waited patiently and watched the coffin being lowered wiping his eyes, Simon took a handful of dirt from the pot and dropped it on the coffin now hidden from view. He watched Harry watching Adam and Moham grabbing some dirt and letting it fall on to the coffin, they stood silently for a moment. Conrad blinked back more tears and watched the group slowly turn and head back to the church, Simon stood there alone for a moment. He couldn't help but feel sorry for Simon and wanted to go over and hug him, to make everything alright. Simon turned and walked slowly back towards the church, Conrad stepped out and walked over feeling the cold February wind against his face. He stood and looked down in to the grave at the beautiful white coffin, he couldn't hold back anymore and stood with his head in his hands sobbing trying to keep the noise down. Simon and the group came out of the church and started heading back towards the limousines, he took a look over at the grave and saw the lonely figure with his head in his hands crying. A tear trickled down Simon's face seeing Conrad so heartbroken. "Go ahead guys" Simon said quickly wiping his eyes and holding back. Harry turned to look "Conrad" he muttered quietly. Moham held him back "Let Simon go an talk to him please Harry" he said holding Harry's arms Adam looked at the back of Conrad "My god he looks devastated". "He knew Jack from 7 years old apparently, Simon told me they had a very close friendship" Moham said. Simon stopped few meters away hearing Conrad talking to Jack 'I will never forget you Jack, you showed me so many wonderful things and made me fall in love with plants and you in a way. Who would have thought the 7 year old me would end up being your friend, certainly not either of us I think. I wanted something to remember you by so I will get that scorpion tattoo you have on your arm done on mine, it is the right thing to do as it will remind me of the pain you have put me through this week' Conrad stopped and wiped his eyes that seemed to stream constantly. He cleared his throat 'Oh I brought you something I hope you will like it' Conrad took out thirteen hibiscus petals 'one petal for every year I knew you' he dropped them in one by one sobbing quietly again. Conrad pulled one hibiscus flower out of his pocket 'This to remind you where it all began, I picked it from the front gate of the manor but don't tell Simon' he dropped the flower in to the grave. Conrad knew this was his final farewell and he was getting so overwhelmed with grief, he fell to his knees and sobbed. Simon heartbroken by what he saw rushed forward. "Come on Conrad" Simon said helping him up wiping his own eyes "Jack would have loved that". Conrad turned to Simon and hugged him "I miss him Simon" he said breaking down again "my god I miss him". "I'm so sorry Conrad" Simon held him tighter "I know how much you meant to each other" Conrad nodded "I'm sorry for leaving you like that on Sunday" he said sniffing. "Doesn't matter Conrad, come back to the manor" Simon suggested. Conrad shook his head "No I don't think so I am a mess" he replied. Simon held Conrad back in his arms "I need you to come back with me Conrad" he said looking at him. "Its awkward" Conrad simply replied. "Ah" Simon said looking over at Harry "things are only awkward if you make them awkward Conrad". Conrad wiped his eyes "Yeah but I don't think Harry would see it that way" he said. Simon shook his head "It is not about Harry today, that is his problem to deal with" he said. "No" Conrad said "I want to stay here a while, talk to Jack and say good bye". They hugged allowing themselves a few minutes to grieve together in private holding hands, Simon seeing this as a little thawing between them. Harry stood by the limousine watching them whilst Moham and Adam watched Harry noticing how besotted he was and unable to take his eyes off Conrad. Adam finally got a view of Conrad, he was young and very attractive albeit full of sadness, Adam wiped Harry's face and kissed him on the cheek. Harry was beginning to get upset himself and would have loved nothing more than to go over and comfort Conrad, the reality was both of their encounters had not been overly friendly. "Okay so now I understand" Adam said putting his arm around Harry's shoulder. Harry looked at him "Understand what?" he asked. Adam nodded towards Conrad "Why don't you go over and say hello" he suggested. Harry shook his head "No, things never seem to go well when we meet" he said getting in to the limousine. Harry looked out the limousines window at Simon who was walking back alone, Conrad sat on one the chairs provided and stared in to the grave shutting the world out. Adam looked at Moham who looked at Simon who smiled briefly. "You alright Simon?" Moham asked looking concerned. "No" Simon replied looking back at Conrad "I am worried about Conrad it has hit him badly I don't know what to do for him". "Is he coming back to the manor?" Moham asked, Simon shook his head glancing back at Conrad again. "You two go with Harry in the limo" Adam said "let me go speak with him see if I can bring him around". "Good luck trying that" Simon said walking towards the limousine "he doesn't like me much at the moment". Adam walked over and sat next to him "So you knew Jack then?" he asked Conrad staring at the coffin. Conrad nodded "I knew every nook and cranny of his body" Adam said "I guess you would have been 11 at the time". "I never saw you" Conrad said raising his head looking at Adam "he never spoke of anyone else". Adam smiled "No he wouldn't have, but he spoke of you constantly, the budding flower he called you". Conrad smiled for once "So many times he would rape me in the greenhouse" Adam said lovingly. Conrad chuckled "You as well" he said "I'm Conrad" he held out his hand and Adam took it. "Adam" he replied smiling at Conrad "It was your 16th birthday when he immortalised you" Adam said. "Sorry?" Conrad asked looking confused by his statement. Adam smiled "He had a flower tattooed on his arm with your initial" he told Conrad "next to mine with cupid". Conrad got his phone out and looked at the picture he took "Oh my god" he said noticing it again. Exactly how Adam described it there it was "I was with him the day he got it done" Adam said. "Were you in love with each other?" Conrad asked. Adam smiled "God yes but we are chalk and cheese and it would never have worked living together" he said. "Oh I see" Conrad said then chuckled again "he liked it rough, weirdly it was very passionate". Adam smiled and lifted his jacket sleeve to show his wrist "You have the J and cupid tattooed" Conrad said. "Yes" Adam replied pulling his sleeve down "you should get the J and flower tattooed" he suggested. Conrad nodded "Thank you for showing me that and yes I will along with scorpion I liked" he said. Adam smiled "That dam scorpion he loved that tattoo. How about we get it done together?" he asked. "Yes" Conrad said immediately "my parents will freak out but I need to do it". Adam put his arm around Conrad and kissed him on the cheek "Come back to the manor with me". Conrad shook his head "No I can't" he replied thinking of Harry. "Yes you can" Adam said standing up "Harry is quite upset seeing you like this". Conrad stood up "I know when I am beaten" he said looking at the coffin "see you in a month". Conrad wiped his eyes and Adam put his arms around him shedding a few tears "Bye my lover" Adam said. Adam walked with his arm around Conrad and sat him in the limousine for the short drive back to Hibiscus Manor. Conrad sat in silence lost in his own thoughts holding Adam's hand providing much comfort that he needed right now. He had no idea what to say to Harry or even if he wanted to talk to him. Slowly he walked through the doors in to the library that doubled up as a formal room and one that he had never see before. Simon smiled seeing Conrad walk in with Adam and picked up a glass for champagne for them both, he briefly caught Harry's eye having to look away for fear of another embarrassing episode with him. Simon tapped his glass and the rest of the group stopped talking and looked towards Simon 'Gentlemen, it has been one of the hardest few weeks I have had to endure and I know how fond of Jack many of you were. I thought I was prepared for this eventuality but I learned that no matter what love you had your heart breaks you in pieces. Some more so and I speak of the two people who meant the world to Jack. Adam who sneaked in to the greenhouse when he thought no one was looking and always returned looking like he had been dragged through a bush after, he was the only person Jack ever considered a lover. Secondly 13 years ago Jack found a renewed love for life when an annoying 7 year old got his hands dirty one Saturday helping Jack at the gates of the manor. Sneaking him in to the grounds behind my back, Conrad grew up and found a passion for horticulture that Jack helped nurture and taught him everything that he knew. Jack found a very real companion and friend in Conrad who today is now a stunning 20 year old man, despite his young age he turned out to be a very loyal friend. Jack often referred to him as his annoying adopted kid when he wouldn't shut up talking but also a budding flower when he was talking about Conrad which was constantly. I owe Conrad so much and he was here with me at Jack's passing. I know the next few weeks or months are going to be hard for some of us but Jack being Jack would have put a beer on the table and told us to get over it. To Jack who has found his peace'. Everyone raised their glasses and toasted Jack. Conrad slipped out of the room finding it unbearable and stood out in the damp cold air on the terrace overlooking the gardens, he found a little peace expecting this to be the last time he would ever see the gardens. Conrad turned hearing the study door open and Simon stepping out walking in his direction, he didn't say anything at first just kissed Conrad on the cheek. "Beautiful speech" Conrad said looking out over the gardens. "Thanks" Simon replied "almost forgotten how to make one" he chuckled. Simon put his arm around Conrad's shoulder "Adam told you about the tattoo I gather?" he asked. Conrad nodded "Why didn't you say anything?" he asked. "Didn't want to upset you Conrad" Simon replied "failed miserably at that" he stated taking a deep breath. Conrad looked out over the gardens "I still expect to see him popping up out of a flowerbed". "Yes I know I feel the same. I am here if you need a shoulder Conrad" Simon said sympathetically. Conrad smiled "The ever so elusive rich man" he chuckled "thank you". Simon smiled and looked at him "I hope that tattoo Jack had proved how much he thought of you". "Yes" he replied "and the scorpion tattoo what does that really mean?" Conrad asked looking at him. Simon glanced at Conrad "Partly his devious side and partly me" he replied. Conrad nodded and kissed Simon on the cheek "I shall miss this place" he said sighing. "Why?" Simon asked "you thinking of leaving Hibiscus Drive?". Conrad shrugged his shoulders "Well with Jack gone there is no reason to come here anymore". Simon smiled and looked at him "You better think again Conrad, you have to take over the gardens?" he said. Conrad looked at him "No I don't think it would be good idea" he replied. "Please Conrad you know how to look after the gardens and I trust you" Simon said looking him in the eye. Conrad shrugged his shoulders "I don't come cheap" he said wiping his eyes trying to make a joke. Simon hugged him "Yeah so I heard" he said chuckling fending off Conrad's play punches. "God does everyone know?" Conrad said laughing "one time" he said "one time". Simon laughed then went serious "I will pay you what I paid Jack £50k a year" he told Conrad. Conrad looked shocked "Okay but don't expect me to take over everything Jack did!" he smirked. "Agreed" Simon replied "what if I pay you?" he said laughing and walking off quickly. Conrad laughed and stepped off the terrace to take a walk around the gardens, he felt much happier walking amongst Jack's legacy, he was also starting to find himself at ease after the trauma of the week. Adam kept a careful eye on Conrad watching his chat with Simon, when he stepped off he terrace Adam walked over to Harry and whispered in his ear. Harry put his glass down and slipped out of the room on to the terrace spotting Conrad going behind one of the flowerbeds heading in the direction of the greenhouse. Slightly afraid of what Conrad might think he took baby steps and walked around the numerous flowerbeds until he spotted Conrad bending down pulling up a weed. He gulped unsure exactly what he was going to say or do now he was here standing several meters away from him. Conrad felt a presence behind him and turned around to see Harry standing there. Harry looked nervous "How is your cheek now?" he stuttered slightly. Conrad just looked at him "You stood me up and owe me a drink" Harry said trying to be light hearted. "I never stood you up Harry, you assumed I would be there" Conrad replied "I saw you here that weekend". "I know" Harry replied "I asked Moham to go back but he had some work in London". "I don't understand that message you sent me either" Conrad tried to explain. Harry looked down "I have tried to forget about you but I can't" he said with a sadness in his voice. Conrad stepped closer to Harry "What is it you want from me Harry?" he asked. "You don't get it do you" Harry replied staring at him "I fell in love with you that day I punched you". Conrad shook his head in bewilderment "Why?" he asked. "Conrad if I knew that I could put a stop to it" Harry replied "tell me if you want me to go". Conrad stood his heart racing "I..." he stopped talking confused by everything going on. Harry grabbed hold of Conrad and kissed him "Tell me you don't feel anything" he asked looking in his eyes. "I can't do this" Conrad said pushing him away "it frightens me, you frighten me" he said looking at Harry. Harry turned to walk away angry at himself opening up to him "Wait" Conrad called after him. Harry stopped "No Conrad, this gets harder every time and you keep rejecting me" he said walking off. Conrad screamed and walked off angry at himself more than anything at his own failing to commit to one simple thing. Adam watched from the window and shook his head, Moham patted him on the shoulder indicating they should leave before things really blew up between Harry and Conrad. "I just don't get it Moham" Adam said "they are both crazy for each other but can't see it". Moham looked at Adam "I am the last person to give advice on this sort of thing" he admitted chuckling. Harry stormed in a sat in a chair wiping his eyes "Come on Harry" Adam said "we are leaving". Conrad watched them walk across the lawn with Simon until the helicopter took off. Simon stood for a moment then headed towards the greenhouse where Conrad stood like he was cowering behind the bush. He put his arm around Conrad and took him up to the manor, darkness was filling the sky and Conrad leaned in closer to Simon who responded with a comforting squeeze. "Do you feel like eating?" he asked Conrad quietly. Conrad shook his head "Not really" he replied still watching the lights of the helicopter fading. "Harry is crazy about you Conrad" Simon said in quiet voice "and I see you are not far off either". Conrad nodded "I know Simon, that is what frightens me to admit the whole thing" he said. "Commitment is hard Conrad no one can tell you it is easy" Simon explained "you have to want it". Simon was feeling the cold "Come on lets go inside" he suggested. Conrad looked at him for a moment in silence "Can I stay the night with you?" he tentatively asked. Simon looked shocked initially and stared at him "Yes of course you can" he replied. Conrad smirked "I am hoping you will take advantage of me" he said almost teasing Simon. "You have to be kidding me!" Simon said looking at him like he was crazy then chuckled "like I need asking twice" he said. Simon made a pretence of wanting to hug Conrad, putting his arms low around Conrad's body and pulling him off his feet and flinging the unsuspecting lad over his shoulder carrying him inside and up the staircase to the master bedroom. Closing the doors with one hand he moved over to the bed dropping Conrad roughly. Using his feet Conrad kicked his shoes off and started undoing his trousers watching Simon who was already half naked throwing his clothes on the floor. Simon leant down and yanked Conrad's trousers and under wear off whilst he undid his shirt, his heart racing in anticipation watching Simon rubbing his already erect cock. Conrad looked up "Go easy with me" he said kneeling up on the bed. Simon pushed Conrad down on to his back again "Not a chance, you are in my bedroom, my rules". He squealed in excitement being aggressively twisted over on to his stomach, the weight of Simon bore down on him immediately followed by the sharp pain reeling through his arse. Simon penetrated his arse in one swoop and started ramming in and out with a purpose. Conrad cried out in agony at first his legs and arms pinned to the bed by Simon and his arse pushing up when Simon ground his cock jabbing away at his insides. His mouth telling him to stop, his arse telling him to continue. Simon pulled Conrad up to knees and leaning across the young body he slipped his arm around Conrad's waist holding him on his cock. Simon took a pleasurable moment holding Conrad's hips and looking down and whiteness of his arse stretched open around his cock. Pulling all the way out he watched the hole close up almost immediately twitch as the muscles relaxed. Slowly nudging his cock up against Conrad's hole again he delicately and slowly pushed forward watching the hole stretch lovingly around the head of his cock then pulling out again watching it close. Pushing forward again slowly Conrad gasped and moaned from the teasing his hole was undergoing, Simon repositioned his hands and thrusted forward with speed slamming the entire length in to Conrad's body, his hands holding Conrad's hips in place. Pulling all the way out he watched the hole shrink twitching all the while it closed up. Simon smiled at the perfect sight 'God I love your arse' he said slamming his cock back in watching his back arch up in pleasure. He leaned over Conrad's body and secured his arm around the waist holding him in place. His arse ground back on Simon's cock in defeat, he kissed Conrad on the neck and slowly fucked him for nearly two hours, switching positions and locations in the bedroom. His arse never more than ten seconds without Simon's cock inside him, he had Conrad in his arms standing up and facing him, legs wrapped around his waist. Simon's hands clasped under his buttocks lifting them up and down on his cock. Their mouths locked together in a deep kiss. Simon lowered him down on the bed keeping hold of Conrad he penetrated deep and furiously fucked him, his body tensed pushing deeper and holding Conrad tighter. Simon gasped and grunted loud and hard releasing days of pent up toxic laden seed in to Conrad's arse, streaming from his cock in thick ribbons each one pushing the previous one deeper. Under him Conrad closed his eyes feeling Simon's orgasm through his entire body with dutiful force behind it, no deviousness, no trickery, it was a clean and clear breeding that he felt Simon needed. He looked down and kissed Conrad gently massaging the seed deeper inside him. His legs closing around Simon's waist locking him in position, his heels pushing in to Simon's lower back driving his cock deeper. Conrad felt a drop land on his cheek and it a took a moment to realise it was a tear from Simon, he kissed and held him tightly around the neck hugging him. "Are you okay?" Conrad asked stroking his neck. Simon pulled himself up "Yes" he said looking sad "it reminded me so much of Jack he use to do the exact same thing". Conrad sat up "Do what?" he asked looking questionably at him. Simon smiled "Put his legs around me and dig his heels in holding he deep inside". Conrad laid back down and stroked his own chest watching Simon "I'm not going to replace him" he said. "No one can replace Jack" Simon replied running his hand along Conrad's leg "Thank you I needed this". Conrad looked up at Simon "I still don't forgive you though for what you did" he said. Conrad reached up and pulled Simon back on to the bed entwinning themselves together kissing and caressing each other, falling asleep just after 4am. They lost count after the fifth time fucking with Conrad unable to fathom out how Simon could just keep going like a cum producing machine, their bodies exhausted Conrad laid in Simon's arms resting peacefully.

Squirt recently sent out a survey asking members of their opinions on how to make Squirt inclusive. Its a no brainer that sex apps and sites should totally discourage people from putting any preferences in their profiles and should do away with their search filters except the area search. When one is looking for sex they should understand or be forced to understand that they need to invest some time looking for a match. Also the block option should force the member to write a message before blocking. The reason these talks about racism are so much discussed in the current perspective is because we as a society have missed the time and opportunity to do away with such behaviors by understanding. Its time to now enforce rules for people who still hide their racial attitudes behind preferences.

I think your first paragraph is spot on, although it can be argued that, to a degree, all sexual encounters involve a degree of sexual fantasy. And as a famous playwright once wrote “You’ll regret not having fun with your genitals when you’re dead”.

What people forget is the power dynamic in all of this. Yeah you can like and connect with certain guys ( I myself when it comes to men isn' t attracted to twinks) but you don't have to get on a mégaphone and proclaim it to the world. A simple no thanks works. Furthermore, relegating certain individuals as second class citizens in the community or constantly denigrating them not only fucks with their self esteem but creates a power dynamic of have and have not. This is not preference.

Last time I was in Palm Springs I was hit up my a handsome 71 daddy top who was only 1100 feet away on grindr. He was married to a women but was simply needing an ass to unload in. i figured he was at the hotel but he told me he was local. I told him I had to check out in 45 minutes and if he could get over real quick I’d be happy to take his load. Much to my surprise there was a knock on my hotel door about 5 minutes later. I open the door to see a very handsome executive looking dad- Just my type. We talked for a minute and I could tell his was a bit nervous but soon enough we were both naked. There was lots of touching and rubbing bodies together which was probably the perfect foreplay him. Soon I found my tongue deep in his ass he as beautiful, tight, and clean daddy ass and I was prepared to breed his ass instead. I rubbed my cockhead on his hole and he moaned so I asked him if he wanted my load. He moan and pushed back a little on my cock which my cue to start but before I could make any headway I think he came to his senses and he told me he wanted to fuck me instead. So he sat up on the edge of the bed and I sat right on his cock and road his cock just like that. He had a perfect uncut daddy cock that you could tell was under serviced. I massaged his balls as I road him trying to coax as much cum out of him as possible. Mid stroke he told me to stand up and we stood up together with him still balls deep in me.He bent me over the bed and I knew what was coming. He pounded me as hard as he could and you could hear his breathing quicken and he had purpose with every thrust. A loud groan escaped him as he shoot rope after rope of sperm in my ass. I tighten my ass grip around his cock trying to milk every drop of cum out of his balls. We talked for a quick minute and then he was gone. Not 30 minutes after his last message on Grindr I had his load in my ass. I had enough time to rinse off in the shower and check out of the hotel. My whole flight back to Dallas I could feel his load leaking out of my ass.

Sad I can only like this comment once. Preach!

This. If you are rejecting an entire race of people out-of-hand, regardless of their individual attractiveness, that deserves some close scrutiny. If you are objectifying and fetishizing an entire race of people, that deserves some close scrutiny. If there are ample men of different ethnic groups in your community and you can say you've never been sexually attracted to a black/latino/asian/south asian, white etc. man, that deserves some close scrutiny. If there are ample men of different ethnic groups in your community and you can say you've never played with/fucked a black/latino/asian/south asian, white man etc., that deserves some close scrutiny. All this noise about "not being able to say no to sex with men of a specific race" is just that. Noise. It's as silly as the straight men reacting to "me too" by saying they are afraid to even *talk* to a woman in case they do something wrong. Talk, just don't be an asshole or a rapist. How hard is that? The same is true when dealing with different ethnic groups, just don't be an asshole or a racist. Anyone who says that not rejecting an entire ethnic group of men out-of-hand is the same as not being able to refuse a man from that ethic group isn't being intellectually honest. The step after not rejecting *everyone* in that group, is being open to *someone* in that group that you *are* attracted to. For example, as a rule I'm attracted to men who look very sexually mature (bigger, stronger, hairier), so it's easy to imagine writing off asian men who don't generally fit that as well. However, there are asian men that I find myself very drawn to who put out that strong, sexually mature vibe. It's simply a matter of being open to them.

We're entitled to our preferences, but we need to be respectful.

Part 6 - The Autumn Leaves The autumnal nights were creeping in fast and Conrad had said good bye to his parents a few days earlier who had flown to Australia to visit his grandparents and auntie's family. He sat waiting at the station in the car for Charlie who was coming home for the weekend having decided to use the train instead of his car. Conrad was also looking forward to meeting this Joshua guy that Charlie had invited to spend the weekend who was his dorm buddy at naval training. Joshua lived in Newcastle which made it difficult to get home for weekends, Charlie explained it would be a good for him to have a break for the weekend. He never said much about this Joshua guy only that he was a year older. Thankfully he would only need to be around in the evenings and could hide away up at the manor expecting Joshua and his brother to spend the time working out or talking all things military. Charlie had become a bit of a fitness freak working out religiously and now doing weights. He had seen Charlie's body slowly changing with more muscle definition showing, in fact he brought Conrad a set of dumbbells trying to get him to exercise and put some muscle on. Truth be told he had started using them for half an hour every evening and even surprised himself at the results after a couple of months. Harry was far from his mind even nearly forgotten about. Conrad yawned and changed the music he was listening to when he saw Charlie appear from the station exit with your typical navy looking bloke that was Joshua, black hair that was cropped to a zero but still heavily visible due to the colour, he looked marginally taller than Charlie walking side by side. What Conrad couldn't see was that Joshua packed a body under his coat, working out with weights more than Charlie he had a pretty good muscular build, tattoos on his legs and one across his shoulder going down his entire arm and gay. It was the one fact Charlie left out about Joshua and was his attempt at matchmaking since he got on so well with Joshua he was sure Conrad would as well. That is assuming that Conrad wouldn't blow a gasket finding out Charlie was trying to set them both up. Charlie got in to the front passenger seat "Con" he said kissing him on the cheek "you okay?". "Yes" Conrad replied "you?". "Yeah I'm good bro, this is Joshua" Charlie introduced them "Joshua my twin Conrad". "Alright there mate" Joshua said in his deep voice and heavy Geordie accent. "Hey" Conrad replied quite stumped by how good looking he was "I'm good, how are you?" he asked. Joshua smirked "Fuck Chaz your right he is all proper man just like you" he said "Sound as a pound pet". Conrad turned to look at him trying to figure out what he said "Good man" Joshua said making eye contact. The look got Conrad all flustered looking in to the deep blue eyes that contrasted with his hair. Charlie laughed and turned to see Joshua smiling settling back in the seat. Joshua deliberately shuffled in the seat so he sat right in Conrad's sight through the rear view mirror, it did nothing to help Conrad who became even more flustered not knowing where to look. One thing he did feel was a warmth and ooze of sex coming off him. He was attractive but also had a sharp rough and tough looking edge, the tram lines shaved in his left eyebrow gave him a menacing and it was that quality that Conrad fell for big time. Concentrate Conrad he told himself trying to avoid looking at him in the mirror. He knew that Joshua was the kind of guy who would not back off from a fight so he would need to keep himself in check for the next few days. He certainly didn't fancy getting punched by this guy he thought, it was bad enough when Charlie punched him and Harry come that. 'Fuck' he said out loud then making a quick excuse that he forgot to do some homework. There it was again Harry, why did he now think of Harry after all this time he was doing so well putting the guy out of his head. Conrad drove off and the conversation seemed to flow quite nicely, Conrad had no idea that Charlie had let slip about his gay twin brother during one of their quiet nights in the dorm talking about their families, it was the same night Joshua confessed he was gay and strangely it made Charlie and Joshua much better friends. Conrad felt a little relieved pulling up the drive and letting the guys exit before driving in to the garage. Conrad said he would start getting dinner ready whilst Charlie took Joshua up to one of the spare bedrooms and showed him the bathroom where he could shower and change. Conrad was cutting vegetables up putting them in a pan to boil up. Charlie casually walked in and grabbed a soft drink from the fridge half naked and drying his hair Conrad watched Charlie saunter around quite happily "Don't you think your under dressed?" he said. Charlie closed the fridge door "No" he replied grinning "Josh has seen me naked and I have seen him naked". Conrad chuckled "What do you think of Josh, nice guy eh?" Charlie asked very casually. Conrad nodded "Seems nice but he looks like he could beat the shit out of you" he said. Charlie laughed "Yeah he is a bit rough and a bruiser but also a very nice guy" he said smirking. Conrad wave a knife at Charlie "Why are you smirking like that?" he asked. Charlie cocked his head to one side "Because I love you bro" he said "your using the weights I see". Conrad nodded staring at him "What are you up to?" he asked "I know you well enough Charlie". Charlie smiled "Whatever gave you the impression I was up to something?" he replied looking offended. "You showered yet?" Charlie asked with Conrad shaking his head "go up and shower I will finish the veg". Conrad put the knife down "bring to the boil and simmer for 15 minutes" he said. Charlie rolled his eyes in one of their common traits "just go and shower I know what I am doing". Conrad walked in to his bedroom then stripped off down to his underwear and strode across the landing to the bathroom and entering the room his feet unable to carry him back or forwards glued to the spot. He came face to face with Joshua standing their with a towel tied around his waist, his eyes fixed on the muscular body of Joshua and the tattoo across his shoulder and down his right arm. "Heck sorry" Conrad said blushing struggling to form any words and taking a dam good look at Joshua. Joshua watched and noticed he was checking him out and doing the same to Conrad "No need to be sorry" he said. Finally he stopped coming to his senses "Come back in a minute when you finished" Conrad said. Joshua smirked "What's the matter, you never seen a guy before" he said watching Conrad. "No I mean yes, sorry I didn't now you hadn't finished" Conrad said all flustered. Joshua stared at him "You are like your brother" he said pausing "canny but different, very different". "Oh" Conrad replied not sure what to make of him moving closer, Joshua used his leg to close the door. Joshua smirked at Conrad "Bit more private now" he said with Conrad unable to stop staring at him. "For what?" Conrad asked with slight panic "You going to hurt me?" he asked stepping back against the wall seeing the muscles in his arms very close. Joshua still had that smirk on his face "No" he said "well not yet anyway". Conrad's eyes wandered over the broad chest of Joshua, a niggling feeling that he was getting mixed vibes from this hulk of a sexy guy. Joshua just looked at Conrad and raised both arms placing them either side of Conrad against the wall giving him no chance of escape. Conrad gulped preparing himself to receive a few punches or slaps at best he leaned further back against the wall and closed his eyes tight getting ready. Joshua leaned closer towards Conrad, he could feel how close he was waiting for the stinging but feeling only his warm breath against his neck. Joshua didn't know what to make of Conrad's reaction standing there with his eyes shut tight, almost like he was expecting a beating, he knew his next action would provoke one of two responses. Since clapping eyes on Conrad he had wanted him, the resemblance between the brothers is where it stopped, instantly Joshua realised Conrad was more placid and easy going where as Charlie was an adrenaline junkie like himself. He stood before a guy that switched on all his buttons, delicately Joshua leaned closer to Conrad's neck and ran his tongue slowly along the length up to his cheek. Conrad could feel his warm breath and tongue moving across his face then a sudden strange sensation, Joshua ran his tongue over Conrad's lips 'Kiss me' Joshua demanded. Conrad didn't even think and parted his lips taking a mouthful of Joshua's tongue, his body crawling up the wall and flinging his arms around Joshua kissing like mad. Joshua pinned Conrad up against the wall with his body, the madness eased with their mouths sealed together in a deep long kiss. Joshua pushed Conrad's arms above his head pinning them against the wall, his wrists firmly in Joshua's grip. To hell with it Conrad thought kissing Joshua back, slowly he freed Conrad's arms sensing no resistance and slipped his arms around the neck and back snogging Conrad with intense conviction. His hand caressing Conrad's back slipped lower and lower until he began caressing Conrad's arse, gently moving the underwear away so he could feel the firm smoothness of his arse. Conrad moaned at the hardness of Joshua's cock pressing against his own erection, he felt he finally understood what Jack meant when he said it just felt right and that was how he was feeling right now. He loved the way Joshua softly caressed his arse feeling every single part of it, he was not being fooled though and knew from the way he was being kissed that Joshua like exerting a certain amount of dominance and no doubt was not a person who held back to get what he wanted. Conrad pushed Joshua off gently "I need to shower" he said reeling in euphoria from the taste of him. Joshua smiled "I will let you off this time" he said kissing Conrad again. "Is that so" Conrad said touching his arm and feeling the muscle. Joshua grinned and moved away "Wey aye man, I am coming back for you bairn and you better be ready". Conrad tried to function normally "You are?" he asked questioning him to make sure it was real. Joshua stood looking at Conrad "You want me and I want you" he replied smirking "and am I going to have you". Joshua winked and rubbed his cock through the towel walking out of the bathroom. Conrad closed the door his heart pounding in his chest licking his lips slowly to get more taste of Joshua, stepping in to the shower his cock still rock hard. Smiling to himself he couldn't believe that Joshua was gay and came on full throttle to him weather he wanted it or not. He was freaked out yes, then his body and heart took over from the way he held Conrad making him want to kiss back, it took a good 10 minutes before Conrad's cock returned to a normal state. Joshua dressed in a sleeveless t-shirt and shorts joined Charlie in the kitchen asking if he could help with anything. Charlie handed him some plates to put on the dining room table and brought through the food in serving dishes. Conrad entered the kitchen helping Charlie then the three of them sat down at the table. Joshua chatted away to Charlie whilst Conrad placed the serving spoons in the dishes. Conrad was poor at being discreet around the table and kept watching Joshua's every move, Charlie noticed Joshua giving Conrad a few glances and definitely saw him grin at him. "Right dinner" Charlie said "dig in, you first Josh as the guest" he said watching him carefully. Joshua looked at Conrad "Thanks looks canny" he said "what are these he asked?". Conrad smiled "Turnips I grow them up at the manor freshly picked today" he said. "Help yourself Josh" Charlie said chuckling "but then I think you might already have" he said looking at Conrad. Joshua smirked looking at Conrad not even bothered by the comment "We had a good snog" he replied. Conrad couldn't help bursting in to laughter to hell with it he thought "You had a good feel as well" he said. Charlie sat there smiling "Hurt my brother and I will break you" he said looking at Joshua who could tell Charlie was not joking. Joshua nodded and chuckled "What about when I fuck him and he screams does that count?" he asked. Charlie screwed his face up "Fuck Josh, bury his head in the pillow" he suggested laughing hard. "Hey" Conrad intervened "Don't I get a say in this?" he asked then looked at Charlie "Did you set this up?". Charlie sat back and smiled "Maybe" he said "I figured Josh wouldn't be able to keep his hands off you". Conrad shook his head "Anyway who said it is going any further" he said making himself very clear. Joshua laughed "You haven't got any say in it, told you upstairs I am going to have you". Joshua looked at Conrad and smiled. So dinner didn't go quite as Conrad thought it would, he couldn't figure out if by some weird reason he had ended up with a half baked attempt at a boyfriend. Joshua was clearly very keen on Conrad and thought he was sorted but also with a funny understated wit about him. Joshua had guys clambering over each other to get him even at navy training school. Whilst he was a very brash, upfront and a very in your face Geordie fella he went for the extreme opposite to himself when looking for a guy and Conrad was perfect. He sat there looking at Joshua across the table he couldn't get over how much of a bruiser he looked with his tattoos and muscle but what a kisser he turned out to be. Charlie cleared the table and tidied up in the kitchen leaving them alone. "You want to sleep with me tonight?" Joshua asked straight out. Conrad looked at him "Sure" he replied "I just don't want to get into anything serious though". Joshua smiled and nodded "Aye it would make things difficult me being in the navy" he said. An awkward silence fell between them for a moment "Can I see ya when I am free?" Joshua asked. Conrad chuckled "Yeah I would like that" he said casually "but you are not sleeping with me tonight". Joshua laughed loudly "Yes I am" he said "need to make sure you don't snore like pig". "Has anyone told you how charming you are Josh?" Conrad asked. Joshua grinned "No but you can tell me later when your underneath me" he said looking deadly serious. Conrad laughed and dam well knew he wanted to sleep with him. After spending the rest of the evening sitting in the cool night air talking Charlie announced he was going off to bed and disappeared quickly. Joshua stood up and walked over to the edge of the terrace looking in to the darkness of the garden, Conrad sat studying him for a moment getting aroused by his silhouette that stood in silence. His calves so muscular and thighs that could crush a person in to submission within seconds, Conrad stopped realising he was playing with his cock in anticipation. Joshua turned around and walked towards Conrad pulling him to his feet. Wearing a very mischievous grin on his face he raised one hand and stroked the side of Conrad's face, slowly his hand moved lower down his body. Conrad took little breaths mingled with short barely audible gasps knowing where Joshua's hand was heading. He was transfixed staring in to the eyes of Joshua at the same time feeling his body being caressed so delicately by this brute of a guy. Conrad closed his eyes and moaned, the hand found Conrad's erection and toyed with it his stare now becoming more intense with burning passion. Something sparked simultaneously between them and an angry, desperate, needy passion took them both over, painfully their mouths clamped together in a rough kissing frenzy. Joshua tried to get the upper hand his tongue fighting and pushing deep in to Conrad's mouth taking him down, succeeding his hand grabbed hold of Conrad's arse roughly making sure he knew who was going to be in control. He pulled Conrad's head back looking him in the eyes, his mouth still partly open in desire Joshua thrusted his tongue in and out quickly then dribbled a long stream of saliva in to Conrad's mouth followed by his tongue closing in for a deeper kiss. His eyelids fluttering held tight against Joshua's mouth relentlessly kissing him. Suddenly he let go and stopped kissing Conrad and stood back looking at him nodding. Conrad coming to his senses "What?" he asked wondering if he did something wrong. Joshua walked around him in a circle then came up behind kissing his neck "I want you, now" he said. Conrad rolled his head back resting on Joshua's shoulder "God yes" he replied moaning. Joshua held Conrad firmly kissing his neck, the harder his kissed him the more erotic the moans got escaping Conrad's lips. Unable to control himself Joshua bit down on the flesh lightly then sucked it up in to his mouth. Conrad just moaned longer rolling his head, Joshua was marking his territory and sucked harder several times then released Conrad leaving a deep red mark on the side of his neck. Conrad rubbed the side of his neck, Joshua rubbing his cock up against his arse 'You are mine now' he whispered in his ear. Holding hands they walked up to Conrad's bedroom, he made light work undressing Conrad and himself continuing to kiss him, his hands slipped under Conrad's arse cheeks lifting him off the ground with ease. He carried Conrad over to the bed and dumped him like a rag doll on to the bed grinning at Conrad's laughter. Seeing his beautiful tattoo covered body and the frenzied pace at which things were moving any anxiety Conrad had dissipated into a sexual desire for him. Joshua ran his hands up along his legs then flipped him over on to his stomach. His eyes opened wide in surprise, Joshua ran his tongue over his arse and across his hole several times. He was torn over how he should be reacting but his body had pushed up slightly and Joshua took it as a sign of his submission. Diligently using his tongue he caressed Conrad's hole teasing it to open a little. Purring like a cat with cream he tongued bathed Conrad's arse holding his legs down that seem to have a mind of their own unable to keep still, the moans coming from Conrad was all he needed to hear. Joshua moved around the side of the bed pulled Conrad's mouth towards his uncut cock, the foreskin slightly rolled back from the erection. He looked at he hefty piece of meat that was just shy of eight inches and pretty girthy, still it was smaller than the Arab's cock which gave some kind of relief. His lips surrounded the head moving the foreskin further back taking more in to his mouth and tasting his first cock. Moving at a novices speed Conrad sucked and licked gently, all the time Joshua rubbed a finger over his hole, tapping it then pushing the tip of his finger in gently. He felt the hand on the back of his head pushing his mouth further down the shaft before he choked and eyes started watering, Joshua pulled back then leant down and kissed him. Moving back to the arse Joshua attacked his hole with more vigour, Conrad groaned louder his hands clawing at the sheet under him and his body wriggling trying to take in everything that was assaulting his senses in one tremendous clash. Conrad heard Joshua gob on his hole and used his finger to work the saliva in. The small kisses on his lower back moved upwards getting closer and closer to his neck, Conrad gave a sharp gasp for breath and winced feeling the head of Joshua's cock half penetrating him and testing his resolve. He moved slow enough that Conrad could take it but with a constant grinding pressure that teased his hole open, Joshua drippled more saliva where his cock head was buried in Conrad and began to work it in. Conrad raised his head and moaned louder as more of Joshua entered his body, his second moan stifled by the invading tongue in his mouth kissing and willing him to take it. His kissing acting like a drug relaxing Conrad completely that he only felt the pleasure of Joshua's cock pushing in deeper until he could go no further. He stayed still for a few seconds, making sure Conrad's arse was sufficiently open and eager for him. A whole level of pleasure ran through Conrad's body feeling the weight of Joshua laying on his back, their skin touching, tongues entwinned in desperate passion. His hand holding Conrad's head in place so that he had no choice but to kiss him. The arse muscles clenching together slowly driving his cock deeper causing Conrad to respond by kissing him harder. Joshua pulled back and looked at Conrad to make sure he was okay and he only saw a desire for him, locking in to a kiss he jackhammered putting his full body weight behind him. Conrad's moans morphed in to cries and then to groans, he didn't care how much it hurt he wanted Joshua badly. Joshua kneeled up holding Conrad's hips he continued balancing feverishly manic thrusts to gentle loving strokes keeping Conrad on his toes never knowing what to expect next. Conrad was sweating and gasping for air pain and pleasure hitting him at the same time, Joshua pulled out and flipped Conrad on to his back making eye contact Conrad moaned and pulled Joshua down to kiss him his arse throbbing but wanting more. He felt his arse opening again and the fullness of Joshua entering his body, so badly drawn to each other they lost all sensibility acting like animals in heat. Joshua fucking Conrad with steady rhythm their need to kiss and be close in the final moments, he could feel his cum on the march. He looked down at Joshua their mouths millimetres apart and holding his head Joshua moaned then grunted thrusting and pushing his body forward hard whilst maintaining eye contact. His whole body pinning Conrad to the bed with several deep thrusts 'Oh fuck' he said quickly pulling his cock out followed by a stream of cum that he accidentally released inside Conrad, the rest splattered over Conrad's arse then thrusting his cock back in to Conrad he collapsed on top 'Yeah canny man' he said slobbering Conrad with another deep kiss. Joshua rolled on to his back pulling Conrad on top of him 'ride it' he demanded, Conrad took hold of the slimy cock and eased his arse over it, the cum around and inside his hole providing a slickness for him sinking down. Taking hold of Conrad's cock he gently massaged it looking up in to Conrad's eyes, it didn't take long for Conrad to cry out and push down rubbing his arse deeper on Joshua's cock and exploding his load up across Joshua's chest and neck. Joshua pushed his hips up edging in to another orgasm, the muscles around his cock squeezing hard from Conrad's orgasm. He tried to extract his cock and in doing so triggered his orgasm pumping a smaller load in to Conrad's body. Joshua laid on the bed with his arms raised above his head smiling, Conrad looked down at the incredible body stretched out. He fell forward kissing Joshua and moaned lovingly feeling the arms closing around his body. Joshua stroked Conrad's back "I didn't mean to dump my spunk in you" he said quietly. Conrad chuckled "Don't care Josh" he cooed soothingly "I enjoyed this way too much". Joshua kissed him "Sorry about that as well" he said tapping his neck. "What did you do?" Conrad asked leaning up looking at him. Joshua licked Conrad's chin "Marked you as mine" he said looking him in the eye. "Yours?" Conrad asked "who said I was yours?". Joshua slapped his ass lightly "You don't need to say anything I see it in yer eyes bairn". Conrad smiled and snuggled up chuckling "Just don't break my heart Josh" he said "I'm not good at rejection". Joshua hugged and kissed him holding him tight in his arms "I won't Conrad". They managed to keep the noise down low until they fell asleep, when Conrad moved during the night Joshua rolled on top and stuck it to him again. In all they got about three hours sleep, Joshua was a horny 21 year old that was young hung and full of cum and he needed sex constantly when with a another guy, Conrad was no better and willingly let Joshua use him, every time one of them moved in bed Joshua got a boner and mounted Conrad weather he was sleeping or not. Conrad sat on the side of the bed at 8am feeling like shit through lack of sleep and a sore arse. He had promised Jack to help with the new hibiscus seedlings so needed to get up and showered to wash the smell of Joshua and his sex off him. One things for sure he was happy at least if he only ended up being friends with Joshua he didn't mind, the guy was seriously sexy both in bed and body. Charlie was already up when Conrad dashed in to get coffee. "Is he up yet?" Charlie asked. Conrad poured himself a coffee "Sort of, I think he is tired" he replied. Charlie chuckled leaning against the kitchen counter "You look tired and you have a love bite on your neck". Conrad closed the refrigerator door "Need to eat more garlic" he said brushing it off. Charlie poured a coffee for Joshua "Or eat less Josh" he said "did you have fun and enjoy yourself?". Conrad blushed "Yes both, fuck he is amazing in bed" he replied grabbing an apple. "TMI Con" Charlie said smirking "you know he has quite a few gay men at naval school after him". Conrad looked at his apple "Doesn't surprise me" he said quite disheartened hearing that from Charlie". Charlie kissed Conrad on the cheek "He is really picky though never sleeps with anyone". "I got to go" Conrad said picking up his book "See you this afternoon" he dashed out closing the door. Charlie poured a coffee for Joshua taking it upstairs "Brought you a coffee" he said entering the bedroom. Joshua laid on the bad with a big grin on his face "Thanks Charlie" he said sitting up. Charlie opened the window "God it smells like you two had sex all night in here" he chuckled. "Wish you had told me about your brother earlier" Joshua said "proper lush like". Charlie sat on the bed "I only did it because I trust you not to hurt him and keep it real". "Aye nee worry" Joshua replied "he is worldie an proper mint in bed". Charlie screwed up his face laughing, he took Joshua out during the day whilst Conrad tended the seedlings half asleep. Jack appeared and took one look at Conrad and laughed. "Did you have a late night?" Jack asked putting some flower trays down beside him. "Morning" Conrad said "early morning more like, I think I slept 3 hours at best" he replied. Jack laughed "So what was you doing all night then?" he asked. Conrad showed Jack a selfie he took of Joshua and him in bed naked "Him" he said. Jack nodded in approval "Man that is one stunning guy where did you meet him?" he asked handing the phone back. "Charlies' navy buddy, he set us up behind our backs" Conrad sailing smiling. Jack smiled "He is definitely a keeper Conrad" he said approving of his choice. Conrad shrugged his shoulders "He will be away a lot but have agreed to meet when he is home". Jack smiled "Did he get hungry in the night?" he asked noticing the love bite. "Very funny" Conrad replied. Jack smiled handing him a new tray of seedlings. Saturday night was spent much the same way after Charlie went to bed. They were unable to keep their hands off each other. By Monday morning Conrad couldn't think straight he was so tired and struggled through his day in lectures. By 7pm that evening he was in bed fast asleep. Joshua did indeed come up to see Conrad the following weekend and spent the entire time in bed with Conrad neglecting to go up to the manor. A few weeks later Conrad was in turmoil since Joshua wanted to come up and see him but his parents had arrived home from Australia. He booked a room at a hotel near Gosport and arranged to meet Joshua there. He was finding it difficult to balance the secret from his parents and to keep letting Jack down. Jack was pretty chilled about it and didn't mind so long as they still had their dinner date on Wednesday and he could help Conrad out where he could. Charlie on the other hand was getting annoyed with Conrad since he kept holding back from telling their parents, reminding him to get it done and over with so he could finally be free and enjoy himself. He had noticed that Joshua wouldn't even entertain advances from anyone else now and confided in Charlie that he liked the way Conrad and he could enjoy great sex and love making without any complications. By late November the trees had shed all their leaves, Conrad had seen Joshua every other weekend and they very rarely made it out of bed when together. Their bond was past being in love or just buddies and enjoyed the freedom of being able to sex the hell out of each other. Conrad could lay for hours watching TV, having sex then laying in his arms again. The initial observation of Joshua being dominant wasn't far wrong, never in a nasty way he just liked controlling Conrad during sex pinning him down whilst working his arse over. His parents were becoming suspicious of his absences on the odd weekends and pestered Charlie wanting to know what was going on, he kept quiet but hated lying to them. Jack seemed to be constantly getting colds and Conrad continued nagging him to see a doctor, frankly he was getting worried about Jack's health which never seemed to be improving. Harry dropped Moham off at the building where his meeting was taking place and took the limousine to the Mandarin Oriental Boston to get them checked in. This was Harry's second trip away and was far better than the trip to Manchester. The limousine pulled up to the entrance and the usual flurry of activity appeared with the doorman opening the door to let Harry out. "Good evening sir" The concierge greeted him "Are you checking in with us?" he asked. Harry smiled "Yes you have the reservation under Raheem Mohammed Jazeer" he said. "Thank you" he said then talking in to his radio and escorting Harry inside. The hotel general manager came over to meet Harry and personally escorted Harry up to the adjoining suites. Harry got his file out and checked that the correct brand of water and fruits were in the suite ready for Moham's arrival. Harry was in heaven at how the hotel staff rushed around to please Harry even without Moham there yet. It was his first taste of how money really worked when it was no object. Harry checked his phone, Moham wasn't due to arrive for another 90 minutes and asked the general manager if they had swimwear as he would like to go for a swim. He politely asked is size and what colour and despatched one of the junior concierge out to the Under Armour shop just down the road returning within 10 minutes handing them over to Harry in his suite. Harry had just finished showering after his swim when Moham messaged to let him know he was on his way, quickly getting dressed he headed down to the lobby with his key, the hotel general manager appeared to welcome Mr Raheem personally to the hotel. Moham ordered dinner for two in his suite dismissing the general manager and allowing him some alone time with Harry. It was 2am in the morning and Harry sat on Moham's cock held in his arms, their bodies dripping with sweat having spent nearly four hours having sex. Moham jumped in the shower to clean himself, Harry went through the adjoining door to his suite and showered getting ready for bed. Moham appeared still naked standing at the door. Harry put the towel down looking at Moham 'What?' he asked seeing the dubious look on Moham's face, he chuckled and told Harry to come over to him. Moham took Harry's hand and closed the adjoining door and taking him in to the bedroom, it was clear that he wanted to spend the night with Harry. He smiled climbing in to bed snuggling up to Moham, the man just seemed to adore Harry in fact he had not picked up any escorts since Harry started working for him. By morning Harry was awake with jetlag by 7am, knowing Moham's diary back to front he knew the first meeting was a lunchtime one so he tried to get back to sleep. He sat up and moved over to the side about to get up and go back to his suite, Moham turned over running his hand in the empty space and waking up. "What is the matter Harry?" Moham asked. "Nothing" Harry replied turning his head looking at Moham "can't sleep and I should get back to my suite". Moham leaned up "Don't be silly" he said pulling Harry back in to bed and slipping between his legs. Harry chuckled "Not more!" he exclaimed before Moham silenced him with kisses. Harry loved his time with Moham and the sex between them had got incredible, sometimes he couldn't believe this was the same man who would pound the life out of his pickups in the back of the limousine. Instead they shared some very steamy nights often locked together for hours. Harry's arse would always be flooded since Moham was never short of producing large quantities of his thick sticky cum that almost glued itself inside his arse and took hours to reappear. By the time they left Boston Harry had been amazed at how he got to experience a very different lifestyle in the hands of Moham. As much as Harry had grown to like Moham and enjoy spending time in bed his post sex thought without fail would linger on Conrad and how much he wanted him.

I can usually do a decent job of cleaning out 2-3 times in less than 30 minutes. I eat fiber as well and my ex used to laugh at me all the time about the proverbial coffee + shit every morning. Something to be said for regularity and predictability (I learned when I started to bottom). If I'm going to have a good ass play session in the sling with big toys or friends with toys, cocks and fists... I really take my time and can be squeaky clean in an hour. I bought a shower set that really helps the entire process. I can start things 'moving along' and step over to the toilet a few times... then a lot of rinsing out. You need to be cautious with the diverter valve to make sure you don't have TOO much pressure, you could do some internal damage when you slide the tool into your rectum. More pressure doesn't necessarily make for a 'faster' cleanout. The other part I have learned is 'mindful'. I find when I relax and let the water and my guts have a nice little dance together... things flow out better. Talk about getting in touch with your 'inner feelings'... but, seriously... it is something you can learn to manage and it also helps open up the second hole and have things flow. The nice thing about the shower attachment is that I have had bottom buddies here and we are playing - and they get that panicked look on their face... we know that look right? So, I just help them adjust the water, show them how the unit works... and let them 'clean up' a little. Shit happens at times. Some folks like it. In my experience, most are a little mortified. So having a setup that allows my bottom or flip-flop partner the opportunity to feel like he is squeaky clean - makes both of us happy. Especially when I blow my load and lick it out of his hole afterwards.

I had a special moment today that makes me so happy. My boyfriend and I are in a weird place in our relationship right now where we're still a thing but we're taking things a little slower. I want to enjoy taking cocks and so does he, so we don't really have a lot of sex right now. When we were more devoted to each other he was hesitant to use me as his toilet, even though I begged him for it. But now that things are a little more casual he's been more willing to treat me to his pee loads. This morning he texted me and asked if I wanted him to stop by for a little bit. I had an early hookup but I really wanted to spend some time with him so I told him to come over. I thought maybe he just wanted sex but instead what he wanted was a toilet. He gave me his full piss load and it was incredible. When he finished he shook off over my face and put his dick away, then he went out to the living room and sat on the couch. It was so hot being used that way, and now I want it all the time. Has anyone else ever had a spontaneous bladderload before? If so, how did it happen? Did you enjoy it? The idea of being his full time toilet is making me so horny that I can't stand it.

Love fresh spunk. gotta to be warm and alive with bugs. student building toilets are great for loads flying around.