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**This is a fictional story, based on a fictional story. It's told from the point of view of a 25-ish year old, a little better than average twink, 5'6'. So my friends having been giving me shit lately. Ugh. Whatever. First off they were trying to "warn me" about this guy I started talking to at the bar. He's super hot, bald mid 30's tattoos all over his body and face, slim and lean muscle body. They were so concerned that one of them pulled me aside and told me who he was. Lol. Like I know who he is. He's a sleazy top who loves to fuck bare - oh yeah and he's poz. Lol. So what? Like I fucking care. Look, it's none of their business what I do. I tried to get them off my back and told them "don't worry, we're just gonna hang out." Of course we weren't gonna hang out. We went back to his place once we got in his place, he pulled down his 8 inch cock and and turned me around. He grabbed some lube and rubbed it all over his dick, I pulled down my short shorts and exposed my bare ass in a jock. He grabbed me and stuck his fat 8 in cut cock inside of me while I leaned up against the door. He fucked me so hard, I moaned so loud. I reached back and held his head closer to mine while he fucked hard and hard with his fat raw cock. Then he started to cum. He pulled me closer to him and held my body while he shot deep inside of me. It felt so hot. I could feel his poz load inside of me. I got down on my knees and suck him off and cleaned his dick. I could tell he was ready for me to go, so I got up, pulled my pants up and walked out. But anyways my friends have gotten worse. Seriously, like what the fuck. We're all having lunch one day and they start giving me shit about my profile on one of those hook up apps. Well the thing is, my profile is pretty excplicit. It's my boy next door face and a headline that says "POZ friendly bottom" with a small bio that said "easy submissive cumdump for raw cock." They were like judging me but fuck them. You see, I like poz cocks. They're harder than neg dicks. I know, I've been fucked by many. Poz guys are always hotter and sleazier and they love to use slutty whore like myself. I love to please them, I love to have my hole loaded for their hard cocks. But my one friend is like "but you're on PrEp right?" LMAO. Fuck no. That's cool if you are dude, but keep your dick away from me. They think I'm nuts, but that's fine. My hole was leaking as we were having lunch because I had just gotten fucked. And my phone buzzed again. I had to cut my lunch short and head over to another dude's place. His wife is out and he wanted to drop a quick load inside me. As I walked away from my friend, I made a slight change on my profile. I changed my "neg" status to "don't care."

Part 12 Danny: Evan and I continued fucking. Some days I would do him, some days he would do me. "You're gonna be topping next week. I'm saving my loads for the guy who's paying me to knock his ass up" Evan said staring back at me with his cock still buried in my ass. "Crap, I kinda like goin to sleep with your load in me" I replied, smiling back at him. "Plenty of other poz guys around. Not all are toxic, but they'd love that hot ass. Hell, even neg loads will feel the same" Evan said. The next day I spent some time creating a couple new profiles. One gave all the info "Poz, unmedicated, versatile, bb only" and the other left my status at "ask" and only listed my preference as "versatile-top." It was interesting to see the responses. The poz profile got more interesting replies while the ask profile got five times the number, but most were just "fuck me" type messages. I spotted fratboibtm's profile and remembered that told me at the football game that he wanted to hookup again. It had never happened since I had deleted my old profile and he had no way to contact me. He now listed himself as a poz bottom, taking all loads and bare only. I sent him a message from my poz profile, told him what my old profile name was and that I'd freaked out and deleted the old one when I found out I was poz. I wasn't sure he would contact me and maybe his comment at the football game was just him being polite. "Hey, glad u found me. Thx 4 gift. Didn't expect it to happen that fast or from u" he sent back. We chatted a bit and I realized he was serious about wanting the bug, but I still apologized. "In frat house now. old roomie was afraid i wud infect him, lol" he replied at one point. I was trying to figure out when Tony would be out of the room and I could invite fratboibtm over when a new message from him popped up. "U like audience?" he asked. "U want to fuck in theater at dirty book store?" I replied. It was the only place I knew of other than the cruisy park where others could watch people have sex and I was still skittish about having sex in public. "Nah, at house. Some of the bros want to jack off while they watch me get fucked" he said. "str8 guys?" I asked and he sent back "They think so lol." -- Evan: We kept swapping back and forth. Some days I was on top and others he was. Danny was the first guy that I wanted to fuck more than once. Well fuck and get fucked by. I was slowly becoming a 50/50 versatile guy. I liked fucking him but I also liked breeding neg guys. I warned him, though, that I was going to be spending all of my top energy on the generous chaser I had lined up. That is, if he showed. I was finding that chasers flaked even more than most guys. Almost every day I would try and get Danny to put his profile back up. It wasn't that I didn't want to fuck him anymore, I wanted him to fuck other guys too. I didn't care if they were poz or neg, he needed to get back to fucking a few different guys per week. I liked knowing my partner was as slutty as I was. One day I finally spotted his new profile. It was pretty minimal, but it said enough that I'm sure he got plenty of responses. One of the more interesting things I found was that a lot of the guys that were listed as poz on the various apps and sites were undetectable even though they didn't advertise it. I'd been avoiding them in my quest to stay neg when they were much less risky than the one I thought was super safe, Danny. A few turned out to be really great fucks too. One bear really loved piss play and every time I left his place my ass was dripping cum and my stomach was full of his pee. I loved the verbal ones the most, though. My dick always got harder when they told me they were dumping their poz load in me, even when it was lacking any viral load. The chaser was eager for the first meet and while he was pretty quiet when I fucked him, he did everything possible to get me to breed him. He got two loads along with a torn up cunt and I got five hundred bucks. The next day, he was sore but still willingly took my dick, two more loads and a promise to do it the next day. Seven days in a row we met, but the last few I only gave him one load since my balls were running low. We both needed a day break and I went back two days later giving him another rough, two load breeding. The second week we just met three times but it was obvious that he was hurting each time and he never had enough time to heal. On Wednesday of the following week the chaser messaged me and said he wasn't feeling good. It was sixteen days after our first fuck. A week after that on Friday he told me to stop by and pick up my cash. I was hoping to take his newly toxic cum, but he wasn't interested in topping. -- Danny: I knocked on the front door to the frat house after my 2pm class a few days later, like we'd arranged. The door opened and I said "Hi, I'm here to see Gary" to the dark blond guy standing there. "Oh cool. We're waiting for you... You don't look or sound like a fag. We were worried some girly dude was going to show up and that would be a real boner killer. Follow me" the guy said. "Gay guys come in all sorts of types" I thought to my self as I followed him down a hall to a staircase and down into the basement. Four guys were sitting on a pair of couches and Gary was pushing a table off to the side. The guy that answered the door stood in front of a well worn leather chair but didn't sit down. They were all dressed in loose shorts or sweats, two with no shirt, one wearing a tank and the other pair in sleeveless tees. Gary wore a tank with three greek letters on the front and some nylon jogging shorts. Gary had suggested a quick pump and dump, telling me that he wanted to meet another time for a longer fuck with just the two of us. A short BJ followed by a quick fuck sounded good since I wasn't sure about fucking a guy in front of a bunch of straight guys I didn't know. I set down my backpack and unzipped one pocket with some lube and poppers I'd brought. Next, my shirt came off and I kicked off my shoes. "Let's do this. Drop your shorts" I said and watched Gary take his off, revealing a yellow jockstrap. One of the other guys pushed his shorts down to his ankles too and I laughed a bit, thinking "wonder what else he'd do if I told him to." The room reeked of testosterone and cum. I could envision a dozen guys in the room, sitting around watching straight porn and jacking off day after day. Gary dropped to his knees and unbuttoned my cargo shorts, pulling them down along with my red trunks. Seconds later, I felt his mouth around my partially hard cock. It stiffened quickly which was a relief. I had worried I wouldn't be able to get or stay hard in front of these other guys. A couple had their cocks out and in their hands and the rest were just rubbing over their tented shorts or sweats. I heard a few moans and some comments like "Damn" or "Fuck, yeah!" It was good to see these "straight" guys not get freaked out while watching two guys start to fuck. Gary seemed to be better at sucking than I remembered and when he buried his face into my pubic hair I heard a couple guys gasp. "Wish my girlfriend sucked me like that" one guy said. I smiled and after Gary went all the way down a few more times, I put my hand on the back of his head. Slowly I face fucked him and got a few more gasps from the audience. When I plowed harder, a few more guys were moaning. Looking around, all but one guy had a bare cock in their hand, stroking. It would have been nice to watch them stroke each other, but everyone was going solo. I decided that Gary had sucked long enough and my dick was coated in spit. I grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled Gary off, tilting his head back. The smile on his face was big and I hoped it would get bigger in a few minutes. "Turn around and get on all fours" I said firmly. "Damn, he's really makin him his bitch" one guy muttered. I knelt down behind him and slapped one butt cheek before spreading his ass apart. I spit on the exposed hole a couple times and worked some of it in with my finger. I spit again and leaned in, giving a couple laps with my tongue over his winking hole. "Eeeeew, that's disgusting" a guy said. I leaned back and saw everyone was still stroking. "You eat your girlfriend's pussy?" I asked, not sure who had made the comment. The guy that had met me at the door said "Yeah" and I knew it was the same voice. "This is the same thing. He knows to clean it before sex and it tastes a million times better than every girl's pussy I've eaten" I replied. I spit a few more times on his hole, pushing it in with a pair of fingers. I moved closer and rubbed the tip over Gary's hole. The moment I started to push in another guy asked "No condom?" "He's not going to get pregnant, is he?" I asked, snickering while my cock drove in deeper. Gary was moaning and working his ass muscles around my cock. "Yeah... but you can catch other shit" was the retort. I didn't realize I was going to have to narrate the fuck for these guys and just wanted to start thrusting into his warm hole. The only good part about the comments was that it meant they were actually watching us. "I trust him. He's not a slut at the book store taking everyone's dick. Now let me do what I came here for" I replied. It took a lot of restraint to not tell them that I'd already knocked him up, but I didn't know if Gary had told him of the bug lurking inside him. The talking may have stopped, but not the sounds. It wasn't just Gary moaning either. Some of the guys were definitely enjoying the show while one guy kept closing his eyes only to open them up and watch me fuck a minute later. I added some grunts as I built up my pace, drilling his ass with my bare cock. A glance around found all of the guys with their cock's in their hands, stroking at various speeds and grips. My hands moved from Gary's waist to his shoulders, letting me begin to pound his ass. The sound of my hips slapping into Gary's butt added to the chorus of sounds filling the room. I began to grunt louder and every set of eyes were glued on us. Gary started to shove back as I thrust in and he began to grip my cock tighter with his ass muscles. My strokes got faster and I breathlessly told Gary "Gonna breed your ass." "Fuck!" got yelled out a couple seconds later and I caught one guy shoot his load all over his trimmed chest hair and stomach. It was a nice cock that I'd like to feel thrusting into my own ass. A few more thrusts and my cock started to pulse, pumping my viral seed into Gary's poz ass. It was like dominoes, with the guys shooting their loads one after another. I even felt Gary shoot his cum into his jock pouch. When all the activity had died down, I asked "Anyone want to give it a try? He's all lubed up." There was a several second pause before a tall redhead stood up, looking a little nervous and stepping out of his shorts. He walked over towards me and I slowly pulled out of Gary's slick hole. The guy knelt down and I watched his hand shake as he guided his thin cock to Gary's dripping hole. He slid in easily since I was much thicker than him. After only five or six strokes he cried out and I watched his body quiver as he dumped his cum into Gary's ass. "Oh fuck! I can't believe I did that" the guy said, pulling out, grabbing his shorts and scurrying up the stairs. Gary and I were the only ones chuckling. The other guys were looking at each other, unsure what to do next. I did catch one other guy staring at my still hard cock. I walked over to the guy that shot first, scooped up some of the cum off his chest with my finger and winked at him before licking my finger clean. I got a message from Gary when I was back home. "Thanks a lot hotter than I thought it wud be love how u took charge lookin forward to next time." -- Evan: Four chasers had consumed all of my free time and the only other sex was some quick hookups with Danny where he drilled me harder than normal before dumping a big load in my ass. I'd encouraged him to be more aggressive when he fucked me, since that's what I prefer. I had another guy that wanted to experience his first viral fuck but we could never set up a time. Laying on my bed with Danny next to me and his cum safely sealed inside my ass I wanted to suggest that he stop shaving his chest. I knew it could be a sensitive topic and many guys didn't take grooming suggestions well. "How long have you been shaving your chest?" I asked. "Since high school" he replied. "Ya know, you might have more hair there than you know. Your body changes. It might be worth a try to let it grow a few weeks and see what happens" I told him. He tried it and I got nothing but a stream of bitching from him as his chest itched more than it ever had. I laughed but saw some fur coming out across his chest along with that infamous patch in the center between his nipples that he thought was "stupid." By the second week it was looking better and the bitching slowed. I brought up the tattoo again, having finally decided what I wanted and where. Danny said that the guy that had pozzed him had given him a gift certificate for some mods and he had some money left on it. We went to the shop to talk and see if I liked the tattoo artist. Danny said the guy he had talked to before wasn't there, so we talked to this other artist once he finished his current client. Simon was pretty cute. He looked to be about thirty and was a weird mixture of punk, hipster and accountant. I got to see his work, though, both in live form via his other client and his portfolio book and it was impressive. He could probably do what I wanted in his sleep. When I showed the pics to him he got a big smile on his face, but wanted to know if I knew what it meant. Once I told him I was a poz cub, he chuckled and revealed his own biohazard tattoo. The thing that really surprised me was that Danny wanted to get a tattoo as well. He showed Simon a pic on his phone and zoomed in on one of the guys that had a tribal scorpion tattoo exactly like he wanted. I guessed that he was finally accepting his new life. Simon had sketched out each of our tattoos and we set up a time the following week. He said he would make up a couple versions of them and we could decide which we wanted when we came in for the appointment. We got back to my room and both of us were horny. We did something that we never had done before and flip fucked. Both of us ended up with a load of cum in our guts and our balls were empty. -- Danny: I was laying there in Evan's room on my back. I had just finished dumping another load into his ass and then pulled the plug from under his pillow and pushed it into him. "Do you prefer knowing you're pozzing a guy up or was it hotter when you thought you were neg and not even thinking about it?" Evan asked. "I don't like to think about it. At least the two guys that I unintentionally infected and still talk to me are OK with it. I don't hookup as much as I used to, though. How about you?" I asked. Evan grinned and replied "I only top guys that are chasing or don't care. The rest fuck me. The guy that paid me gave me the rest of the money now that he converted. I'm gonna use some of it to pay for the tattoo I wanted. Now I need to find a shop to do it." "I know a place. The guy that pozzed me gave me a gift certificate for there. There's still some money left on the certificate since all I got were my ears pierced. They do both tattoos and piercing" I replied. Evan chuckled. "Cool. He gave you a couple gifts, then. Want to go over there some time this week with me?" Evan asked. We walked into the shop on Thursday afternoon. The girl that had pierced me was at the counter and I explained that Evan wanted to talk to someone about a tattoo. A guy was working on a customer's full back tattoo and told us to give him ten minutes and he'd talk to us. We waited and after Simon, the tattoo guy, finished with the customer, he came over. Simon looked a little nerdy above the neck with his glasses and spotty scruff, but his arms, hands and legs were covered in ink, at least everything I could see outside of his tee and baggy shorts. "I got a couple pics of what I want" Evan said, pulling out his phone. A smile came over Simon's face as he looked at the two pictures, flipping back and forth and sketching something out on a pad of paper. "Do you know what the symbol means?" Simon asked Evan. Evan nodded and said "Yeah. I'm a poz cub so I think it fits me pretty well." "Sweet. Welcome to the club. I had a chemistry major want one and then came back a few months later looking to get it covered up when guys kept hitting on him" Simon said, rolling his hand and revealing his own biohazard tat on his left wrist. "Now, where do you want it and how big?" Simon asked, snickering. It took a second before I grasped the double meaning of his question. After a little discussion, Evan had his shirt off and they spent some time playing around with where on Evan's pectoral to put it. Simon pulled out his schedule book and they set up a time. "While we're here... I have some money left over on a gift certificate and I'd like to get a scorpion done too. And yeah, I know what it means" I said with a laugh. I showed him a pic on my phone that I had from Stu's football weekend and zoomed in to Tomas' scorpion tattoo. "Just like this, except I want it on my hip, below my waist, so it's normally covered by jeans or shorts" I told Simon. He looked the pic over and muttered "Stung you good, huh?" before grabbing a screen shot and forwarding it to himself. "A friend of his did, but yeah" I replied quietly. A week and a half later, Evan and I were inked. He even paid for the difference between what was left on my gift certificate and the cost of the tattoo, plus a nice tip for Simon. My dick immediately got hard the moment I saw my tattoo, which was a lot the next two weeks as I followed Simon's care instructions religiously. I liked his last, hand written, instruction the best and was eagerly waiting for two weeks to lapse so we could "Recharge your tattoo artist." My pubic hair slowly grew back after being shaved for the tattoo. Evan had convinced me to stop shaving my chest and I was amazed that I had a decent covering over my chest now. It wasn't as thick as Evan's or Ben's, but looked a lot better than I thought it would. I would probably be buying fewer shavers and cream too.

Chapter 1 Men in various stages of undress surrounded me on all sides. Some were here for the music, moving in time with the techno rhythm. Others were here for the sex, fucking and getting fucked all over the club. Some were here to socialize, chatting with their friends on sofas. But all here were gay, and most were on drugs; a stark contrast to the closeted and vanilla offerings in my small town. This was my first night out in the big city, having moved here some months ago, with the few gay friends I had made promising it would be a fun- and sex-filled night. Moving past the throng of muscle-clad bodies, I spotted him. I recognized him almost immediately among the crowd: at 2 meters, he stood far taller than most people there, his 5 o’clock shadow peppered with grey, his face rough and wrinkled – typical for someone in his 50s. He was a mammoth of a man, definitely over 120 kilos, and while many at the party would have dismissed him because he didn’t have a sixpack, I much preferred his build: gigantic, clearly powerful from years of work at the gym, as if his goal was perpetually to bulk and never to cut. He looked just like he did those few times I saw him at the gym: sweaty and red-faced – probably the result of hard drugs circulating through his system rather than a hard workout – except for the fact he wasn’t wearing any clothes. Oddly enough, aside from his stubble, he had completely shaved off every trace of body hair, and odder still, I found it perfectly complemented his gargantuan build: every inch of his frame was exposed, his muscles accentuated by the sheen of sweat that would normally be obscured by body hair, making him appear even bigger, more threatening. I catch a brief glimpse of the monster hanging between his legs and my hole twitched. A thick, uncut piece of meat travelling down his thigh, perfectly framed by thick balls, bulging veins traveling along its length and disappearing into his crotch. The head poked out just a little through the foreskin, glistening as a few drops gathered at the tip. Whether it was precum, piss, or sweat, I didn’t care; I needed to have him in me. “Luke! Let’s go!” hearing my name, I snapped back to the present, and continued with my friend, Alex, to the toilets to snort some lines and take some G. Reminding myself not to stare so blatantly, I rushed over, and as soon as the drugs took effect, I threw myself into the moment: dancing, chatting, flirting, making out with hot guys left and right. The jockstrap that formed the entirety of my outfit made sure I attracted a lot of attention. But no matter how much I tried to avoid it, my mind kept going back to the guy from the gym, skimming the crowd in hopes of catching another glimpse of his immense frame and giant cock. Alex was talking to me about some hot Cuban guy he sucked off in the bathroom, and while I wasn’t really following the conversation, I immediately noticed when he went quiet, his eyes locked on to something behind me, towering over me. Feeling a hand on my shoulder and a hard dick brush up against my lower back, I froze too, hoping it was him. Here he was, two hours since I spotted him in the crowd, his breath hot on my ear, his beard scratching the goosebumps that prickled up on the back of my neck. “Hey there bitch”, he said in a low rumble. “I’ve seen you looking at me from across the room.” My face immediately turned red, and my heart skipped a beat. Shit, I thought I was being discreet! “I’ve also seen you drooling over me at the gym. Yeah, I remember you. I saw your faggot eyes sneak a peek at my junk in the locker room whenever they got the chance.” He took a step closer, his hard cock sliding up my back as he pressed his body to mine. He cast a forceful glance at Alex, who just nodded and disappeared into the crowd, instinctively knowing to leave me to this monster of a man. “Now listen here bitch. You want this dick?” I nodded. “Then there are some ground rules you have to follow. First, what I say, goes. I tell you to lick piss off the floor? You do it. I tell you to present your pussy to some thug on the street? You fucking do it. The moment you say ‘no’ is the moment you’re never getting this dick again. Understood?” Fuck, this was serious. Hesitating, I nod. “Good. Second, I got used to a certain way of fucking, and I’m not about to change that. My bitches better be fucked up when they get fucked. So you want my load? You’re gonna get a fuckload of drugs shoved up that pussy before my dick goes in. You want another load after that? Well shit, kid, you’re gonna get even more spun. You got that?” “Y-yes…?” I answer. “Now the best part is where those two rules interact” he continued. “Remember rule number one? What I say, goes. So if I want to dump another load up that cunt, I’m gonna do just that, and if you refuse, no more dick. But then there’s rule number two. So before I pump another load into you, I’ll pump you full of more drugs.” Fuuuuuuck! My heart and mind were racing, terrified, but my dick was rock-hard and my hole was tingling in anticipation. In the two months since I’ve moved here, I had wasted no time embracing my inner slut: I’ve had sex on drugs before, and even sucked off a guy in the middle of the dance floor tonight. But this was a whole different level I wasn’t entirely sure I was prepared for. “So you better hope I’m done soon, bitch. But I doubt it. You’ll be speaking gibberish by the end of the night, if you’re lucky. And if you aren’t… let’s just hope I’m done with you by the time you pass out, because if I’m not, well, the rules still apply. I’ll drug you, and I’ll fuck you, and this time you can’t say no.” My dick was leaking precum, and a small groan escaped my lips as I felt his cock throb against my back, picturing it pumping a load into my guts. “So what’ll it be?” he asked. But something about his tone told me he already knew my answer. I could stop at any time, I told myself. I could just let him fuck me once, twice maybe, and then simply refuse anything that came after. I took a deep breath, and nodded. “Good boy. Now, let’s get you fucked up reeeeeeeal good.” Heart thumping, I followed his glistening naked body across the dance floor to a half-empty sofa on the other side. Grabbing me by my arm, he roughly sat me down on one end, briefly interrupting the casual chat two guys were having on the other side. Reaching under my legs, he easily pulled me down the sofa cushion until I was lying on my back, and lifted my legs over my head. “Alright bitch. Put your fingers in that sweet cunt of yours and open it wide for daddy.” Quietly, I obeyed, as he reached into his fanny pack and took out a baggie filled with white powder, opening it up, and bringing it close to my hole. “You ready to fly, bitch?” I could feel the adrenaline taking over as the powder tipped ever closer to the edge of the bag, the reality of what was about to happen starting to hit me. Looking at him with fear in my eyes, once again, I nodded. “Fuck yeah,” he said, and started pouring the drugs into me, slowly at first, but then tipping the baggie until more started falling out, quickly surpassing what I would consider a normal amount of any drug, then twice that amount, and still, he continued. He grinned as he saw the terrified look on my face. “You wanna know what’s in here?” he asked, a playful smile taking over his face. I realized at that point that I had no idea what he was putting in me, so caught up I was in the moment. Once more, I nodded, wide-eyed, watching him shake out a little more powder before closing the baggie and putting it away. If at least I knew what it was, I could prepare myself for whatever high, however strong, was coming my way. “Fuck if I know!” he laughed. “I found that baggie on the floor over there. Guess we’re both in for a surprise soon.” He spit on my hole, rubbing the glob in with his thick, calloused finger. “You two!” he barked at the guys sitting next to us, now transfixed by the scene unfolding in front of them. “Spit!” he commanded, extending an open hand in front of them. They quickly obliged, watching him take the thick globs of spit and spread them along his throbbing dick before turning all his attention back to me. “Now, open wide, bitch!”

Too much irrelevant dialogue Too much foreplay which includes extended periods of cock sucking Guys that look like they are in pain Guys who look like they are bored while fucking or getting fucked Pulling out to cum Not eating any stray spilled cum

Condoms - instant pass as soon as I see one. Twinks - I prefer guys with mileage that know what they are doing. TBH anything else just depends on my mood. Sometimes I want to watch a gang scene other times I really want to see just two guys enjoy each other in the filthiest ways. And I completely agree with NLbear above, cum belongs in a hole.

Whimpering screaming bottoms. You're a man, take it like a man! Tops pulling out to cum.

1. Pulling out 2. Moaning like a bitch 3. Same angle forever 4. Guys fucking forever during a Cumdump scene, only to not cum after like 20 minutes 5. Guys telling you the pretended to cum 6. Women/cunts 7. Bottoms asking for a break 8. Not breeding

Chapter 22 He suddenly realized how vulnerable he was. The guy that had brought him down said “ Here is where the fun begins”. The Pig tried to move but couldn’t. the guy said “ Buy the way, It isn’t your fun, it is ours “. With that the guy strapped a ball gage into the pigs mouth and secured it. He was concerned as to what the guy said and what he meant but he didn’t have long to contemplate his position. Someone knelt in front of the Pig and began sucking on his tender cock. Every touch sent shocks thru is vey soul. The guy at the same time would tug on his nut sack or like the flesh. At the same time he felt a finger worming up inside his ass. This also felt great. The Pig was in heaven and it felt like he was abut to shoot when both the hot mouth on his cock an the finger in his ass stopped. He was twitching and trying to get off when the guy sucking him pulled off and slapped his cock. It sent a bolt of pain thru him. Someone said “ We didn’t give you permission to cum yet. Do that again and the guy will be ordered to bite your cock “. The sucking stared again and this time the Pig resisted to natural urges to pump into the mouth on his cock. He did pretty good at resisting this until that finger found his prostate and began assaulting it. the Pig involuntarily thrust forward and the guy bit down on his cock near the base of it. Not that hard, but enough that the Pig got the idea. The guy gently stared to need the Pig’s sack and stared the most exquisite sucking he ever felt. He was about to cum when someone grabbed one of his nipples and twisted it. The pain was unexpected and intense. It stopped his climax. At the same time that one finger turned into three ramming up his ass. The guy was twisting them to create the most pain as possible. The Pig was shaking his head and pleading thru the ball gage. The guy that brought him down looked the pig in the eye and asked him “ You want the pain to stop “? The pig was nodding his head yes. He guy looked at him and said “ I am not sure your really ready to submit to everyone yet “. Once again the Pig was shaking his head in a yes motion. He looked around and said “ These guys all want your cunt tonight. All have AIDs or something equally nasty to share with you. Are you sure”? The Pig hesitated when he heard that and didn’t move or anything. The guy sucking the Pig’s cock stared to bear down with his teeth once again. The Pig’s eye opened wide when he felt that and began shaking his head yes again. The Guy said “ Well, I need to make sure”. With that e held up three fingers and said “ These were just up your ass, the smell nasty, like piss, cum and ass juices “. He said Here is what I am going to do, I will remove that ball gag and you’re going to lick and suck them clean “. He asked the Pig “ do you understand? “. All this time the guy sucking the Pig’s cock was bearing down on the cock in his mouth and when a question was asked he stared putting more pressure on the tender piece of meat between his teeth. He wasn’t really causing any damage but in the heightened state of mind the Pig was in it felt like the guy might bit it off at any time. The drugs that he had gotten earlier was started to where off now and he was getting a general idea of what was going on. He shook his head up and down again. The guy removed the gage and pushed his three fingers in the Pig’s mouth. The Pig was slow to stared licking but started to suck and lick the fingers clean in real earnest. The guy was impressed that the Pig was so easily convinced to do what they wanted. This was truly going to be an exceptional night. The guy looked around and said “ He’s ready. Lets get him where he needs to be”. Some guys came over to him. Two were caring a point that to the Pig looked half full. The pig remembered the last time he was there he got one and that is when that the world changed for him. Another guy had a baggie with some crystal looking things in it.

My twink then said “wow, this has made me so horny, so what happens now? If I go back to doggy with my ass in the air do you think I’ll get a strangers load in me?”. I laughed and said “try it lad and find out as long as you know there will be some real dirty loads out there!”. At this he just let out a little bark of excitement like a little pup and proudly displayed his smooth twinky ass in the air – “I’m taking all loads tonight!”. The old guy who had been watching asked “all loads?” and my twinky friend replied “all loads daddy, breed me up”. He was stick thin but hung like a horse. He rubbed his cock along the twinks hole and started to push his hard horse cock in. My twink said “wait” and put his hand back feeling the cock lining up with his hole “few, it’s raw, on you go daddy”. My cum let him slide easily into the twink, the old guy laughed and said “off course its raw – I need to breed twinks like you – you pretend not to like us old guys then you beg for my poz cock”. The twink maneuvered with flexibility to get the old guy on his back without his cock leaving the twinks hole. The old guy moaned and my twink leant over and kissed him passionately and started to ride the old dudes pole. Eventually the twink moaned “cum in me daddy, shoot your poz cum in me”. I could actually see the old guys cock swell then he growled and spurted what looked like a huge load into my twinks ass. There was a small crowd behind us and they actually cheered.

I'm undetectable. How I became poz in the first place, apart from the obvious mechanics, I genuinely don't know. What that means is that for a while I was unaware of my status. Total bottom maybe; but definitely toxic. So anyone who stuck their dick in me was taking a risk, and lots did. The thing is, especially out cruising, no-one ever asked status. I let guys fuck me and they never asked me and I never asked them. Any of them could have been poz, several probably were and that's how I square it with myself. None of the parties involved cared beyond the fuck. I'm never seeking absolution and anyone who wants to judge can but what happened happened. Just like I'll never know who gave it to me I'll never know if I passed it on. Now my profiles declare my status and I still get fucked regularly with full disclosure. But when out cruising whether dark rooms, clubs or cottages it rarely comes up before the fucking starts. In the heat of things I guess guys really only think with one thing.

Growing Up in Nebraska was not easy to be Gay, so sex of any kind was hard to find. I moved to NYC for school at 17, and within a month, I was getting fuck raw and taking loads, and by 20, Pozzed.

11.Offered a cold soda by a man in a pickup truck with a camper on it behind the supermarket.Went up the steps a freckel faced blue eyed blonde boy barefoot tee shirt and cuttoff jean shorts.Knew NOTHING about any sex much less gay activities.Went down those same steps a little while later with his cum leaking out.And my heart pounding....:)

Had the day off yesterday so rubbered up and shot a week's toxic load to this

I increasingly won’t talk chasing/gifting things to guys listed as “poz on meds” for multiple reasons. The main one being out of consideration for their decision to go on meds. For whatever reason, guys on meds are out of the gifting/chasing fantasy world and I think that it is only fair that they do not wish to indulge that, then that is respected. In a slightly wider context, I’m also mindful that some guys did not want to end up poz and have found their diagnosis traumatic whether they are listed as “on meds” or not. I do not want to add to that trauma. I’m pretty sceptical of what I read here. I think even away from the back room there is a lot of fantasy posted. Having guys pestering you (or anyone else) to poz them when you have made the decision to stay u/d is pretty unreasonable in my view. Don’t even get me started on the “will you go off meds to poz me?” crew.

Kind of long, thank you for reading. I met up with a very well endowed bbc yesterday from an app, we talked for a while and exchanged pics but he still liked the idea of me waiting face down ass up for him, and tbh I love it too. This was our first hookup so I asked him to bring a condom and he did. He ate my ass first which drove me wild. I was begging and pushing against his tongue until I was nearly limp from the pleasure. Then he grabbed the condom, lubed us up and slowly pressed into me until his hands were digging into my hips and I could feel his balls slap against me. He was so deep I was almost crying but smiling the whole time. Being filled like that was heaven. And I was pushing back against him and his thrusts bounced me forward. He told me he was gonna cum and I told him I needed it. He asked me where I wanted his load and between each thrust I barely whimpered "anywhere you want daddy". I expected it on my back or face, but he pulled off the condom and shoved his entire cock back into me in one swift thrust. I cried out in both joy and pain and he cried he's cumming. I was catching my breath when he just continued pounding me relentlessly again. And with each thrust I could feel his dick get more wet from his cum spilling out. He pulled out and shot the rest of it on my abused hole and spanked me. I asked if he came inside me and he said no, but before I could gather the energy to ask more questions he grabbed his things and was out the door. My ass was still in the air. It totally defeated the purpose of the condom and is entirely risky but I was so happy to be bred. I pushed his load out and it was impressive. I asked him if he was intending to do the the whole time and he told me he knew I wanted it because I'm a little slut. He wasn't wrong, I told him I have a forced breeding fetish and never had a top pull the condom off without my consent. That's always been a fantasy of mine. Today he texted me and 15 minutes later I was waiting with my ass in the air again. He even used a condom again because of my kink and when he told me he was gonna cum and this time begged for it. He pulled off the condom and i felt his bare cock slide back in and my mind went numb. He fucked me for a good while without a condom. His pace picked up and he got rougher, much rougher. He would pull all the way out to see me gaping and then ram back into me. I was screaming into the pillow from the intensity. He asked if I was good. All I could do was give him a thumbs up and he took that as a challenge. When he finally came he pressed himself deep into my hole and he made sure I could feel his cock twitch inside me. When he pulled out I made sure to squeeze him and get every drop. He smacked my ass and I spread it open for him so he could admire his work. He left again with my ass in the air. I took a video of pushing his load out (to compare notes) and I couldn't believe how much he had so soon. I didn't think it would end. I've watched it several times now. So I think he and I are gonna make this a regular thing. Just with fewer condoms and more positions.

Any hung tops in London want to breed my ass. I can host in Chelsea or travel. Accept all types of loads

I woke up this morning and my boyfriend was in a shitty mood, so instead of fighting, I moved out to the couch on the living room. I started thinking about the guy I have had over a couple of times in the last few weeks but, since it was a Saturday, I decided not to text him (usually he comes to my house during the weekday while the bf is at work and we don't text on the weekends) So I opened up grindr instead. I had no real intent on 'actually' hooking up with anyone else, more just wanted to stroke a bit to the banter. Well, the guy happened to be on grindr as well and asked what's up. He said his husband was still sleeping and that he could either come over to me or I could go to him and he'd fuck me in his basement. I heard my bf stirring in the other room and recognized that it was too risky for him to come to my place while the bf was home. We went back and forth a bit and some time went buy without any solid plan so I resigned that nothing was going to happen. In one last effort, I texted him that I had to head out to the store so could stop by his place if it wasn't too late. After I left the store, I thought I was just going to head home, but he REPLIED! He said, 'where are you at'? I told him I was only about 5 minutes down the road and he said Stop by! I immediately got hard thinking about what was about to happen. It was also during this time, that the bf called me about wanting to go to a movie and asked how long I would be.... I told him about 20 more minutes. I then texted the new guy (his name is Will) and asked where I should go when I parked there. Will said that his husband would be upstairs but he had a door off the garage that led to the lower level of his house. As long as I was quiet, his husband wouldn't come down. He left that side door open and told me to enter. Once I did....there he was....a handsome 35 year old, large man with dark skin, a cute face and that BEAUTIFUL cock I remember so well. He was wearing nothing but a stark White robe and looked sexy AF! He led me through the garage, put his finger up to his lips (as if to shush me) and led me to the basement family room and immediately took off his robe, revealing his dripping masculinity to me. I immediately dropped to my knees and sucked him as best I could (my mouth doesn't really fit around his THICK, and long cock). Once he was hard, I asked for the lube and he immediately grabbed the bottle and lubed up his cock, pulled off my pants and put me on my hands and knees on his couch and spread some lube over my waiting hole. I was positioned too high for him so he grabbed my hips and moved me to preciesely the height he needed me to be and proceeded to press his fantastic cock right into my hole. The lube he had was better than what we used before because he slid in without 'too' much whimpering on my part. Usually, it takes me several minutes and several tries with breathing room in between for my hole to accommodate his massive size...but this time...it just worked! He went in slow and after the head breached my ring, I felt the pain but he kept pushing and then had his full length inside me in only a few moments. I LOVE that feeling when your man's cock is fully inside you and you then feel his hips rest up against your ass....yum..... Will likes to moan and be verbal to me...saying things like 'oh yea baby' and 'you like that cock?' or 'Oh my, you got ALL of me inside you!' and things like that. Well this time, he couldn't for fear his husband upstairs would hear. So he just quietly moaned. I did my best not to moan as well and just shoved my face into the back of the couch cushion. Whatever lube he used made his cock feel EXTRA amazing as it slid in and out of my hole. Will seemed to LOVE it too as he didn't last as long as usual and proceeded to start breathing heavily and in one final push, he shoved himself as far as he could inside of me and let the beast unleash! I could feel every pulse of his cock as he shot load after load deep into my insides. It was enough to cause me to shoot, hands free, all over the towel Will conveniently left under me on his couch. I proceeded to pull up my pants as he put his robe back on with a HUGH grin on his face. I whispered 'thanks! That was so nice!" and he said the same back. I quietly walked back through the garage out the side door and back to my car. A few minutes later, he texted me 'THAT WAS SO HOT!" I said, Hell yeah it was! I can't wait for a repeat!

If this is the wrong forum the moderators are welcome to move it to the appropriate place. I cannot imagine I am the only one that feels this way. How do others handle this situation? I have my status listed on this site and any hookup sites I'm on as a courtesy to those trying to make decisions about who they hook up with. I frequently get contacted by bugchasers, as well as have had bugchasers post to discussions I have started with some fairly overt bugchasing replies. One thing I could do is add to my profiles that I am not interested in gifting or even indulging bugchasing fantasies. Here is my situation in bullet points for anyone who is interested: Yes I'm HIV positive undetectable I never intentionally bug chased I did not intentionally allow guys to cum in my ass until after I found out I was positive In retrospect wish I had gotten tested and if it wasn't too late went on PREP as soon as it came out I'm not in the least interested in gifting I have serious regrets about anyone I may have converted before I found out I was positive I don't volunteer my status if I'm fucking guys who are obviously taking any and all dicks but will answer if asked I will wear a condom or get fucked with a condom if asked I do not cum in anyone the 1st time without their consent I won't get upset if someone turns me down because of my status Yes I'm bi, and I will fuck you if you are woman or play with you and your girlfriend/wife, but I will not bareback a woman How I became positive I like sex and fucking a lot I like cruising in parks, sex clubs, bathhouses, adult theaters, sex parties or just about anywhere people have uninhibited sex I stuck my raw dick into literally thousands of holes over a period of 20+ years many of those holes were full of other guys cum some of which I'm sure was positive I did occasionally allow guys to fuck me raw and ask them to pull out and feed me their cum if they wanted to cum, which isn't completely effective by any means I rarely let a guy fuck me for more than a few strokes Yes I'm sure I was stealthed a handful of times If I was in a group situation I'm sure some of the guys I let fuck me had been in cum filled asses, and sucking them 1st was not effective way to prevent transfer Yes I knew all of this while I was out there being a total slut No I don't recommend you do what I did, if you are going to be as big of a slut as I was/am go on PREP and stay on it

I have very frequently a smelly and cheesy cock. I still have my foreskin and within a day my cock starts to build up smegma. I feed that with my piss, my cum, other mens cum and even do not wash my cock after I have fucked an Ass or Pussy. This becomes after 1 or 2 days such a horny strong smell and tast.... I just love my cock smelling!.

Can I express a bit of a pet peeve here? Apologies to come across rather abrassive, but something bothers me about these types of posts. I'm failing to grasp the rationale for asking our "permission" to cheat. This is not the right question to be asking us. I don't want to be responsible for encouraging this type of behaviour, and I know many of my fellow BZ bretheren feel similarly about this. I'm not going to answer the original poster's question, but I would prefer to offer some advice: speak to your long-term partner about this. I know you might be scared of his reaction, but believe me when I say you're due for a much worse reaction when the secretiveness surfaces. If you really require anyone's permission, it's going to be his - not ours.

Just in case you didn't believe me

I didn't mean to imply that you were being judgmental. In a fairly blunt way I was describing how I am at peace with where I am and how I got here. In other threads I have described this journey and in others still I have explored the fantasy side. What I can see from my perspective is that there is a clear disconnect. The "porn" side is all fun without consequence and the screen goes dark with the cumshot. The reality is, am I'm sure you know, how everything changes. I know I'm lucky. I'm in the UK so meds are taken care of and I am fit and in good health. I am very conscious of how easily that can all change. I explored the fantasy of things to get my own head sorted out. I don't advocate living as I have nor do I say not to. What I absolutely won't do is knowingly assist anyone down that path, if only for my own sake.

The way I read your reply, you have nothing whatsoever to consider seeking absolution for. You haven't lied to anyone - or misled anyone. You have merely celebrated your inborn Lust for raw Cock along with many, many other like-minded men. That's only to be celebrated - upheld - reinforced and supported. It's up to each guy to consider the risks, and figure out what his behavior will be. Some arrive at the answer that the love of wanton sex is paramount, and behave accordingly. Some will take every precaution there is to take, and fuck with wonderful abandon. Some will try to get a closed relationship, settling for at least some of the loaf. Every guy decides for himself, after considering every potential outcome. You don't know how you became positive, and thus it is irrelevant. You don't know if you unknowingly passed it to to others, since you didn't know you may have been infected. It's up to each guy to weigh the risks and decide how far he'll go for himself. I get tested monthly, and while I don't know how long it takes, once infected with hiv, to pass it on to others, if I pick up that bug on the 1st of the month, and get tested on the 30th, maybe I might fuck it up some guy's gut on the 29th. Point: each guy has to weigh the risks against the magnetism of the pleasures, and decide for himself how to balance the two. I find no fault whatsoever with your actions.

Damn, season two is really heating up!

*wap* *wap* *wap* *wap* "fuck yeah dude I'm gonna cum." My head was spinning. I don't say anything but pressed back up against him. Soon he started unloading in me. Almost immediately after I heard the deadbolt. Fuck! She was supposed to be in Connecticut until tomorrow. I was staying at her place looking after her dog. I didn't know the name of the man who was emptying his balls in my asshole. We met on craigslist. He responded to my ad looking for dick. **** I'd was bored at Amanda's shitty apartment in the LES. It was Sunday afternoon and I started watching some porn. I was feeling spicy so I put on this 80s gay DVD she had for whatever reason and I got out a buttplug she'd used on me a few times. Amanda knew I fantasized about gay sex. In fact, she incorrectly thought I'd been fucked by a guy because I lied and said I had been. She thought it was hot. The plug was in me and my cock was ridiculously hard and leaking cum. I was rocking on the butt plug. On the screen a tanlined twink got railed bare by a muscly guy with a pornstache. I posted an ad looking for a top to fuck me. I included the nearest cross street and my stats. After 5 minutes I edited it to add "breed me raw." I started emailing a few guys then got a response from a guy who was literally 4 blocks away. I told him I was at my gfs and he didn't care. He was indeterminately 30s maybe early 40s. Kinda faggy looking with bleached blonde hair but I liked his bald pubes and thick but not huge cock. I gave him the address and apartment number. The buzzer startled me inside of 15 minutes. I pulled up my basketball shorts, the butt plug still inside. I let him inside and started to mildly panic. I was only up one floor so I didn't have long. He came inside. I was suddenly insecure about the gay porn. He slid his hand down my shorts and said relax. I laughed and did. He sat down on Amanda's shitty Ikea couch. I knelt between his legs and opened his pants. He wasn't wearing underwear. I sucked his stiffening dick into my mouth. That was a first! I realized I didn't know what I was doing but figured it wasn't too tricky. His penis felt huge in my mouth and I gagged a couple of times. "Let's fuck" I stood up and got naked, pulling the plug from my asshole. I'd used lots of lube and some of it ran down my right thigh. I walked over to the bed. Another horrible Ikea acquisition lol. I got on my knees and stuck my ass in the air and pulled out the plug, dropping it beside me on the comforter. He pulled me to the edge of the bed and slid inside of me. I was having unprotected receptive anal sex with a man whose name I didn't know. My cock leaked precum but also shriveled. He fucked me hard, slowing for a few moments when he heard me whimpering. I told him to fuck me. I said I wanted his load. He flipped me on my back. He pulled me past the edge of the bed and was deep inside me. *wap* *wap *wap* his thighs slapped against me. "Fuck you do have a tight asshole." I was having an out of body experience. I was intensely turned on by getting fucked. I was fantasizing about him shooting a huge load of semen inside me. My legs were over his shoulders as he fucked my ass. Amanda had fucked me many times but this was the first time I had an actual cock in me. "Uhhh yeah." "Jerk off." "huh?" "Jerk off." he put my hand on my cock, which was soft but dripping precum. He stopped fucking but stayed inside. I jerked off, fast, blasting a huge load on my stomach. I felt overwhelmed but he wasted no time pulling out and having me flip onto my hands and knees. A ribbon of cum ran off me onto the bedspread. He penetrated me from behind and began fucking me hard. *wap* *wap *wap*. He grabbed me, smearing cum on his right hand and wiping it on my neck, "sorry dude you came a lot." *wap* *wap* *wap* why'd I done this? I could've just jerked off. *wap* *wap* *wap* *wap* "fuck yeah dude I'm gonna cum."

Checked into club columbus a little bit ago. Went to sit in the sauna and a guy followed me in. Sucked him hard and found a nice PA! He started fucking me and when it got too hot in there we went to my room. I lay down and he climbed on and slide in. His cocock was a nice 6 inches but I felt the PA rubbing with every stroke! After about 5 minutes of his pumping he said "I'm gonna cum". I told him to go for it! I felt his cock twitching as he unloaded inside my hole! When he limbed off, I licked him clean and told him to come back if he wants more!

My last load came from my bosses assistant on Saturday. We was driving home from a job, notice his dick was gettting hard. We have traded blowjobs in the past. He asked me if I still had that place along the way back to the office. I him yes, but I started to grop him a bit. We dropped the company car off at the office. He usually parks in area no one can see, I started to suck his 7.5 hung dick. We drove off a few blocks, got to my trailer office. Second we are in thr door, I'm on my knees, sucking his dick in his pants. We went to the bed. He unzipped his pants and starts to face fuck me. Next he forced my pants off. He forced his dick into my ass. When he breeds he gets homophobic, calling a faggot, whore. For about 20 mins he fucks me, he drops his load into me, made me clean up his dick . Spit on me and left. About an hour later, he told me he was still honry and needed my ass. I told him, door unlocked and my ass is up. He came in, just breed me again. I asked him to stay the night. We went to bed about 11pm, at about 3 am we woke up, I sucked him again and again he fucked me. We ended up sponing. At about 8 am, I could feel his hard dick right up against my ass. He said nothing, and started to fuck me again. He still has his load in me from last night. He just started to fuck me hard, again saying nothing. About five minutes later he cummed in me again. We just kissed and lay on top of each other naked. I sucked his dick, tasting my ass on his dick. We showered, just cleaning eachother off. I gave him another blowjob, swallowed his load and we kissed and cuddled for another hour.

This is such a fucking hot account! Please keep posting about your adventures!

Not cumming in the hole ( any sign of a condom and I don’t consider it porn)

The OP, from 2015, lays out exactly why Prep is the solution to the problem of staying safe from HIV infection for guys who want to bareback (with whomever). Look at him tying himself in knots as he questions potential partners and then agonises over their language choices and whether he could be confident they were telling the full truth. He relies on stereotypes about his potential partners too as he does this. Not surprising he cockblocked himself so many times by asking too many awkward questions and then challenging the responses if he wasn't convinced. A prep user takes responsibility for their health into their own hands. There is no longer any need to rely on partners telling the truth about themselves, or to try and work out whether they are a high-risk or low-risk group for HIV transmission (transwomen are a high-risk group). A man who has casual sex with cisgender women is in a lower-risk group, but I could understand why such a person might prefer to, and might feel safer being on Prep. In the UK, due to the relatively lower risk these men wouldn't be given free prep but it is reasonably simple to purchase from abroad (see iwantprepnow.co.uk, but be sure to consult a doctor at a sexual health clinic first just so that a routine test of kidney function can be made).

I suspect that there are they just don’t talk about it here.

I started this post due what I considered some overt bugchasing on my thread asking about BZ guys hooking up with other BZ guys. However while I was writing it I got hit up by a bugchaser on BBRT, so it is a little longer than what I started out with. I actually added to my profiles both here and at BBRT that I am not a "gifter" or willing to indulge bugchasing fantasies. I don't want to serve as a "role model" for self destructive behavior any more than I want to actually infect them. 4 years ago I found out I had stage 4 cancer at the same time I found out I was positive. I don't take my health or anyone else's health for granted.

Your problem may be one more common with poz Tops than with poz bottoms; I post my status on all my profiles and I don’t recall ever having been hit up by a bugchaser - probably because they’re not looking at me as a source of infected cum. It might also, however, have to do with my emphasis on U=U. I make it clear that I’m not only Undetectable, I’m Untransmittable. So if some nutcase is looking for someone to infect him with a disease, I’m obviously not the man for the job. I also only recall one instance of a Top seeding me and then telling me I just got his toxic load. I assume it’s because there’s no fantasy or thrill in stealthing somebody who’s already medicated against it to the point of undetectability.

Nobody is going to admit that they're not into a certain race but reality is everyone is, even the ones who say they are 'equal opportunity' or whatever that means. Most of us are into all races but we're more into certain race more than others, most of the time that race being white or anyone white passing (fair skin Latinos/Middle Eastern). When I first started out as a cumdump, I remember making ads on CL and the first thing people always asked me was "are you white?".

Way to go! Now find another guy to repeat the same!

This is one of the most amazing stories i have read on BZ, great storytelling, really a very Nice and sexy story

thats the best way - face down,ass up taking anon loads ......its good to keep the spunk inside you for a long time afterwards or fall asleep with it inside overnight (my fave thing to do)

Met someone on here 3 years ago who became my full time live in partner. Wasn't expecting that!!! 😁😁

I went and checked out his Twitter feed. I think this guy is creating a persona to promote his OF and JFF pages to people into Poz fetish. He has to have signed releases from everyone who appears in videos on those sites. They would be able to find him afterwards if they turned Poz through this professional relationship. Like most things online, this is all fantasy. That said, I agree that if he were really doing this that it would be a heinous thing.

Part 3 of my trip to California As I hit the poppers I didn't realize that I hit a button on the remote for the fucking machine and when I did it made the machine go slightly faster. I didn't realize it til after I had hit the bottle of poppers and looked up at the monitor and saw that when the machine would pull the dildo back how faster it went and when it came forward I could feel that the machine was putting a little more pressure and as it went forward it would also push against my hole causing the sling to go back a little bit and after a few times of that doing it I started to feel the head of the dildo start to open and stretch my hole as it finally started to enter me and when it did I was so horny that I took a couple big hits from the poppers and when the sling would move forward I slowly let my breath go as the head went in more and I picked up the remote and hit the button again and started to moan as the dildo came out and went right back in I couldn't believe how good it felt. I put the poppers and remote beside me and took my free hand and put it over my head and grabbed the chains and when I felt the sling go back a little bit then start to go forward I would pull on the chains to make the sling move a little faster and when I did I let this loud moan out as the dildo would slide in more making me feel my hole opening and stretching I would occasionally hold the sling in 1 spot so when the dildo came forward it wouldn't have that far to go and it would push in my hole and I would feel every stroke as it would hit resistance but feeling that resistance made me mire hornier. One time I held the sling back so I could feel the head of the dildo slightly touch my hole and grabbed the poppers and took 4 big hits holding the last one in I didn't look but I hit the button on the remote and I let the chains of the sling go and as it moved forward my whole lower half of my body jumped and shook as the sling moved forward because when I hit the button on the remote it went a little faster than I excepted and when the head of the dildo touched my hole and because of how quick the sling moved forward and meeting at the right time and letting go of my breath the dildo had slide completely in my hole as it started to fuck my hole and all I could do was moan and grabbed the chains. Then I heard some yelling as I would find out later the yells were from the guys watching the dildo fucking my hole. After a good 10 minutes and me shooting cum 2 times on my chest and neck I hears the door open and Shawn came in and shut the door he walked over and stopped the machine and went to the table and was messing around with his black bag. I was still feeling the first point and was hoping he was going to give me another one so quick. But when he got close I didn't see no needle or anything he had a tub of lube so I figured that is what he grabbed. He asked how I was feeling and all I could muster was oh my god that felt great. He said well we are going to do ours soon then when we do we will be coming back and have fun with you or you have fun with us then he walked behind me and grabbed me from my under arms and pulled me back and when did my head ended up hanging off the sling and he took his cock held it right over my mouth and said but I can't wait til then and I quick movement he pushed the head of his cock in mouth and started to fuck it. I thought for sure I was going to gag but I didn't and each time he would push down I could feel my throat opening and stretching as he continue to fuck my mouth and throat he leaned forward and started to put 2 fingers in my hole and when he did I would start my hole start to burn a little bit then he would slide his fingers out but then right back in and each time he did that my hole would feel like it was burning and I would get more hornier as I started to moan as his cock would go deeper and deeper. I was shocked when I felt the head of his cock hit the back of my throat. Then he stopped fucking my mouth but left the head of his cock at the back of my throat as I felt him start rubbing my hole as he reached behind me and freed my other hand and grabbed both of my hands and brought them down towards my ass and told me to pull my ass cheeks apart and when I did I felt him start squinting more more in my hole then he pulled his cock out of my mouth leaving me wanting him to go down my throat he lifted me up so my head wasn't hanging and said don't worry you get this down your throat but we need to open your hole up more. What I found out later the lube they used all night on me was laced with t and that burning feel I had when his fingers were in me he was putting shards in my hole and he went to the duffle bag and after a couple minutes with his back towards me and my hands still down by my ass I couldn't see what he was doing til he moved away and moved the machine towards me I had what he was doing the dildo on the machine wasn't as big as the 1st one but it definitely was much thicker. I had seen the head on it and said there's no way I can take that he said oh you will just relax and hit the poppers and remember reach down and spread those checks as he grabbed the remote and turned on the machine and put the remote on the table and said well be watching and when he turned the machine on I jumped as the machine wasn't set on low it was actually the same where I had it so the head would move back and forth a little to fast that I could hold the poppers and spread my ass checks so when I let my ass cheeks go to hit the poppers I would feel the head of the dildo pushing really hard on my hole and once I hit the poppers and pulled my cheeks I would feel the head of the dildo pushing and my hole slowly start to open and stretch around the head. One time I was so horny and high without thinking when I would feel my hole slightly open and stretch around the head I took a deep breath and as I let it go I pushed forward as hard as I could and then I thought I had broke the machine as I felt the entire head go in my hole as I jumped causing me to squeeze my asshole and the machine started to shake as the dildo was trying to pull back but it couldn't as my ass tightened up and when I let it loose the dildo slide right out but I didn't have time to catch my breath as the head went right back in and before I knew it I was moving my hips back and forth as the dildo was not only fucking me but stretching my hole for the 5 guys who had just walked back in the room. Part 4 coming in 2 days hope you enjoy this series so far

I need to visit the other side of the Atlantic, there are new perversions I could learn from you guys. I'm uncut which often baffles guys here, I shouldn't have that problem over there.

13. I took the train home, thinking eagerly about the jock that would be coming over soon to breed my hole. The nerdy guy’s message came through as I passed through a station, he was looking for tonight. I told him if he wanted to breed a cum filled hole to come over in a few hours. I passed a tall guy on his way out as I entered the apartment building. I wondered if he had just finished with Mike. I listened for a moment at the door before unlocking it. Mike was naked in the living room, he looked sweaty and freshly fucked. “Was that your top I passed on the way in?” “Sure was,” he bent over the couch and showed me his cum filled hole. It gaped a little, pink and inviting. “Damn, he left you open,” I said, dropping my work things by the door. I kicked off my shoes and then stripped naked in my room before coming back into the living room. “And how’s your cunt?” “See for yourself,” I got on the couch next to him and presented my hole. “Fuck, looks like you’ve been fucked recently too. I told him about my boss breeding me. “Good little cumdump.” “And I have another top coming over shorty.” Mike laughed, “Me too actually.” “Perfect, no hole unbred.” The buzzer went off, “That’s mine I’m guessing.” He rang them in. “I’ll go wait in my room, give you some privacy.” “Fuck no, on your knees faggot.” “What?” “On your knees by the couch. I hold your key, I own your hole. I want to show off my sub.” “Yes Sir,” I replied smiling, and got on my knees. There was a knock on the door. Mike opened it wide, exposing himself and me to whoever was on the other side. It was my jock. He looked taken aback. “I think I have the wrong…” he stammered looking at Mike and not noticing me. “No you’re in the right place, you’re here to breed my pig,” he gestured to me. “Fuck, I didn’t realize you were sub’s sub,” my top said stepping inside the apartment. “You own this locked boy?” “Damn right?” “And you’re locked yourself,” it was clearly just a statement not a question. “Yep. I locked myself because I love being bred, then when my roommate here found out he decided he wanted to try. So, I locked his cock and took the key. Three days later, here he is, begging for more cock.” “You want to get fucked?” “God yes,” I said speaking for the first time. “Take him into that room there, I’ve got my own top coming and I don’t feel like sharing tonight.” “Yes Sir,” said the jock, and walked towards my bedroom. I followed him closely. As soon as he was in my room he pulled his shirt off and I was hit by the intoxicating smell of sweaty man. He turned to face me, and grabbed me around my naked waist. He pulled me close to him, I thought he was going to kiss me, but instead he raised one arm, flexing his muscle and exposing his pit. I dove into the musky bush and lapped at his pit. He groaned, and then forced me quickly to my knees. I hadn’t seen his cock yet, I thought, just the picture of him in the speedo. I was like a kid on Christmas morning pulling his pants off, anxious to see what was inside. He kicked his pants to the side as they fell around his ankles, and I was left face to face with a straining pair of white briefs. It was a hot sight, the toned muscular young man with a sprout of thick hair between his bulging pecs in a pair of classic white briefs. Still, I only admired the image for a moment. Impatient as I was to get his cock inside of some part of me, it was only seconds before the briefs joined his pants tossed to the side. Now, pointing straight at me was a broad, fat, mushroom headed cock erupting from a dense nest of light brown pubes. I dove in, and swallowed him till my nose was buried in those musky pubes. “Oh fuck,” he groaned, and put one hand on the back of my head to hold me still to face fuck me. I sputtered and gagged as he roughly used his mouth. My lips quickly started to hurt stretched around his girth but I made no motion for him to stop, I held my hands on his hips and let him use me. I realized when I heard the noises in the other room that we hadn’t closed the door to my room. The front door opened, there was some quick conversation and then after a long pause there was the unmistakable sound of someone else getting their face fucked. Mike was being used in the living room while I was being used in my room. I was interested to see who Mike hadn’t wanted to share but I guess that would have to wait. After maybe five minutes the jock stopped his assault on my mouth. My chin was covered in spit and phlegm, his pubes matted down with my juices. He pulled me to my feet, and for the first time kissed me roughly before knocking me onto my back on the bed. He grabbed my feet and put them on his shoulders exposing my hole to him. “You ready to get fucked dude. I’m guessing that’s a drop of cum leaking out of your cunt so I don’t need lube.” He spat on his cock and rubbed it on my well used hole. “Fucking breed me.” “Fuck yes,” and he pressed his cock forward. We both moaned as the wide expanse of his cock head stretched my cunt out. I let out my breath slowly savoring the tension of being opened that quickly gave way to ecstasy as his cock head started to probe my insides. He let out a long breath too as he bottomed out and his pubes pressed into my ass. His balls bumped heavily against my skin. “God you feel good,” he moaned in a low rumble. “Use my hole, please!” “Fuck yes, fuck!” He started to work his way in and out of my hole, only a little at first and then longer deeper strokes, and quickly he was pounding me. I was not being quiet and there was no way that Mike and his top didn’t know that I was being used in the other room. That somehow made it hotter. The jock despite his youth knew how to use a hole. He was hammering me like a champion, his muscles flexing under his skin as he did. Sweat sprung up on his chest making little trails through the hair that grew between his pecs. His musky sent rolled off of him in waves over taking the room. I was once again a whimpering whore. The jock forced me forward, my knees now touching my shoulders. He was above me, hammering downward, the force of gravity driving him further into my hole. I was shouting. A few drops of sweat dripped from him onto me and a long string of precum hung from the tip of my cage. He started to grunt as he pushed yet deeper, I could see it in his eyes, he was getting ready to give me another load. After a few more thrusts of the vertical assault he roared, and punched as deep as he could. His balls tightened up to his body and a river of cum was pumped into my welcoming guts. His breath was ragged as his balls emptied, then he collapsed forward onto me. As his breath called, he shifted so that he could pull out and fall on the bed next to me still panting lightly. He pulled me to him, pressing our sweaty bodies together. I turned so he was spooning me and I could feel his cock deflate against my cheeks. Now that it was quiet in my room again I could hear Mike being pounded in the other room, his little yelps as the cock in him drove home. The jock could hear it too, and after a few minutes of slow breathing I felt his cock start to stiffen again. He grew hard against me. I shifted, and turned so that his hardening cock was right between my cheeks. As soon as it was hard enough he, without prompting, slid it back inside me. He fucked me slowly this time. Kissing the back of my neck as he slipped in and out of me both of us on our sides. I had one had reached back, holding to his gyrating hip, and he had one arm across my chest holding me tight to him. His lips were on my ear, and I could feel their soft warmth. Mike was being destroyed, begging the man to fill him up, and the jock just kept fucking me slow and deep. I clenched my ass on his cock, and rocked a little in his rhythm. This was almost like the fuck of a lover, in stark contrast to the breeding he had just given me. As Mike’s shouts became more frantic, the jock started fucking deeper into me. He shifted us so that my leg was bent and he was better able to get the full length of his cock in me for every stroke. “God, your cunt feels amazing,” he whispered in my ear, “do you want another load?” “Yes please,” I said in an equally hushed voice. Mike’s top was now boasting loudly about how much cum he was going to pump into my roommate, and both the jock and I seemed to feel that if we were too loud now we might break their concentration. As Mike’s top let out a shout that told us both my roommate was not being flooded with cum, the jock licked my ear and said, “Here it comes slut.” He grabbed my hips hard, and pressed to his full depth. I could feel his stomach contract with the force of his second orgasm in twenty minutes. His cock throbbed and pulsed as he filled me. Then it slowed, as did his breathing. He finally pulled out again, and after a moment got up from the bed. I moved and cleaned his cock for a few minutes, before he pulled It from my mouth. He bent down and kissed me lightly on the lips and then smiling, got dressed. He kissed me once more at the door to my room before leaving, surly walking past Mike and his tops still in the midst of their own fuck.

12. My hole felt slick as I sat back down at my desk. I tried to send a few more emails but wasn’t achieving much. All I could thing about was being back in that bathroom stall in an hour taking another big load. Fuck it, I thought, and got back on scruff. There were a few more guys on than before, but nothing promising. I looked back at messages and woofs from guys. The first new woof I had was from a hot looking 19-year-old, not too far from my apartment. His profile photo showed a cute face, still kind of boyish face with a hint of stubble starting on the chin, floppy hair, and bright eyes. Normally, not my thing, but the next picture showed a tight muscular body, that only came from a lot of work at the gym. He was flexing with his arm over his head and a sweaty heavily haired pit exposed. A thin treasure trail dove into the low-slung short workout shorts, and a little patch of hair sprouted between his well-shaped pecs. The last photo was a beach photo of him in a speedo that seemed to barely contain his junk. I sent him a message. Next was a guy in his forties, bushy moustache, close cropped hair, slightly furry chest. He had unlocked his album, and amongst cute photos of his friends and him hanging out were two fantastic nudes. His first, a mirror shot with no face showing, cute average body, and hard fat cock. The second was just his cock, not super long but fat as hell, with a big slick looking mushroom head. I sent him a message too. Then the third guy. Thin, with a kind of nerdy look. He had square glasses, and a smooth face. Messy hair flopped down over his forehead. His album was unlocked. A couple cute face pics, and then him laying on an unmade bed, one leg under the sheet, naked, smooth tight torso leading down to a wild mass of pubes, and a semi hard cock flopped over onto one leg under its own weight. This was followed by one of his hand gripped round the base of that heavy looking cock. Last that cock, hard, slick, and shoved into a raw cummy looking hole. He too got a message, and for good measure I went back and unlocked my photos for all of them. The jock responded to me first. Young and horny… perfect. He said he was done with work in a couple of hours and could meet me at my place right after work. I told him I’d probably be home just after six, and sent him my address. It was getting close to 5. I packed up my things, logged off my computer, and walked towards the elevator. On my way up the thin nerdy looking guy sent me a message asking if I was free that night. I told him that I was after 7:30 if he wanted to come over and included my address. I opened the door to the bathroom, and there, completely naked, was my boss his cock already hard. I didn’t need instruction. I closed and locked the door, tore off my clothes, and got on my knees to suck his cock. To my surprise he pulled me up from the floor, pulled me tight and kissed me hard. His hands explored my body, one holding me close and the other tugging at the band of my jock. His fingers slid across my hole, smearing the little bit of cum that had leaked out, while his tongue invaded my mouth. When he finally broke the kiss he said, “We’ve got more time now, so I’m going to do this right. Take the jock off.” I did as I was told, and dropped my jock on the floor. He went and sat on the closed toilet seat, his cock pointing straight up and motioned to me. I moved over and straddled him, my caged cock pressed against his torso. He pulled my mouth to his and started to kiss me again. As he did, his hands grabbed my hips and steered me downward. I felt his big cock head against my taint, then it slid back snagging on my hole. I shifted my hips to catch him, and then felt my hole break open around his invading head. I moaned into the kiss as I slid down on his cock. He groaned too. I was so full of cum that I felt nothing but joy. A moment later I was sitting on his lap, still locked in a warm passionate kiss with my boss. He held onto me firmly, slowly starting to grind into me. I grunted with each thrust, the cock slut in me gaining satisfaction as he did. “Such a warm wet pussy.” “That’s your cum you feel Sir.” “You liked taking my load didn’t you?” “Yes.” “Sitting at your desk with my seed in your cunt?” “Yes.” “Good boy.” He bucked his hips into me forcing me forward. His hands under my ass he shifted his weight forward and pulled me up. He was standing, my legs and arms wrapped around him, and his cock still inside me. He pinned me against the opposite wall, my hands finding the safety rail for support. I kept my legs on his shoulders and he started to rail me. I knew I was shouting but was almost positive no one would hear us. He certainly didn’t seem to care. He pounded me harder and harder, till sweat poured off of him. Hes face was lost in animalistic lust. What had started as a sensual fuck had turned into a brutal breeding, and I was perfectly happy. I was desperate for cum. I wanted to feel him unload in me again. “Fuck, you’re so fucking sexy, leaking cage and full of cum. Your cunt is perfect.” “Please breed me! I need your load. I’m a cum whore. I need to be filled.” “I know boy. I’m going to fill you.” “Fuck.” “Yeah, whore.” “Fuck yes! Please… please… please,” I was a whimpering mess, begging for cum. He was a sweat covered animal rutting in my used hole. “Take my fucking load boy!” “Yes!” We were clearly shouting by the time he slammed back into me and started to throb. His orgasm rocketed yet another load into my slack hole. He slowly set me down. “Fuck that felt amazing. Im not kidding your hole is amazing.” “God. Seriously any time. Ever since I let my roommate put this cage on me,” I shook the cage at him, “I’ve been hornier than I could have imagined. All I want is to be bred.” “Well don’t worry. I’m going to be pumping at least one into you most days now.” “Thank you.”

I was late to the party as I was 38 the first time I played with another guy. We were both married and I had so wanted to taste a cock not my own. I think it was the 2nd or third time ducking his cock that I swallowed. It wasn’t long after that we fucked each other bare. At the time, I had this fear of catching hiv so I repressed my new found love of being fucked and concentrated on sucking off guys. I knew how good that felt to me and I really enjoyed making others feel good with my mouth and swallowing cum. Within a few years, the desire to take cock in my ass overwhelmed my fear and I was taking bare cock. The last 5 years I’ve been taking all cock bare and without question. I have actually become Poz friendly and I’m enjoying my love of taking all cocks

Matt wakes up a few hours later. The guy is gone, but he left his phone number and name – Travis. Matt thinks, “So much for a name that begins with “S”?” He laughs. That evening he calls Travis and leaves a message. Travis calls back. By Midnight, Matt is back in his bed with 2 more of Travis’ loads in his ass. Matt just sat on Travis raw cock this time and Travis came in his ass without asking. Travis and Matt start seeing each other casually – just sex, not really dating. It’s comfortable and uncomplicated. If Matt and Travis can meet up, they do. If not, no obligations. Matt likes how the Travis cock feels when they fuck. Travis says he loves how Matt’s ass feels wrapped on his raw cock. About 6 weeks into Travis and Matt fucking around, Matt is over at Travis place. Travis has just unloaded in Matt’s ass. He pulls out and flops on his bed. Matt is thirsty. He asks if Travis wants some water. Travis says yes, but then says Matt should put on his underwear because his roommate might be home. Matt says, “Won’t hide much.” They both laugh. Matt puts on his black briefs and goes to the kitchen for some water. The roommate is in the kitchen and is surprised to see Matt almost naked wander into view. Matt blushes and apologizes. He says he is there to get some water for himself and Travis. The roommate gets Matt the glasses and says, “You sound really sexy getting fucked.” Matt says, “How do you know it was me getting fucked?” The roommate says, “I know what Travis sounds like when he gets fucked. Travis is a loud bottom.” The roommate laughs. Travis comes to the kitchen. He laughs and says, “Hey. No stories.” Matt and the roommates stand around laughing and talking. Travis is the shorts and tee that he answered the door wearing earlier. Matt is still in his briefs. As they are talking, the roommates makes some vodka drinks and the guys start drinking and hanging out. They are trying to decide on what to order for dinner – Chinese, Mexican or pizza. No one can decide. But they have another cocktail. Matt and the roommate go to the kitchen to make the second round of drinks. Matt bends over to fill the glasses with ice. The roommate says in a low voice, “Dude you have a wet spot on your underwear. Travis must have used a lot of lube.” Matt is embarrassed. He turns red all over. Matt puts the glasses with ice on the counter and turns to leave for his pants. The roommate stops him and says, “Don’t put on more clothes sexy. I like that I can see you just got fucked. It makes you look so much sexier.” The roommate rubs his hand on Matt’s body. Matt says, “Well I do love getting fucked and showing off.” The roommate says, we need a little more ice. Matt bends over the freezer and shows off his wet spot on his underwear as he slowly fills the glasses with ice. The roommate rubs his hand on Matt’s brief clad ass. Matt pushes his ass back so the roommate can feel the wet spot. Matt and the roommate make the drinks and return to Travis. The three of them are chatting and hanging out. Matt is comfortable being in just his briefs. This round goes down fast. Matt is back in the kitchen helping the roommate with the drinks again. This time the roommate puts his hard cock on Matt’s brief covered ass. Matt pushes the back of his briefs down and says, “Like my ass?” The roommate says yes and feels Matt’s hole. He says, “You are still so wet” as he slips a finger in Matt’s ass. He pulls his finger out and leans over to lick Matt’s ass. Matt pushes his ass back on the tongue and opens his cheeks so the tongue can slip in more. The roommate says, “I taste cum. Is Travis load in your ass?” Matt admits that it is. The roommate quickly slips his jeans down and slides his raw cock on Matt’s hole. “Can I just stick it in a bit?” Matt says, “Just the tip.” Matt feels the large cock push inside him, grunts and says, "That is more than just the tip." The cock pushes all the way in. Balls on his ass. The guys hear Travis say, “Where is my drink?” and can hear him walking to the kitchen. The roommate pulls his cock out of Matt's ass and puts his cock away. Matt pulls up his briefs. The roommate grabs the vodka and Matt opens the refrigerator for some more Sprite. Matt says they are almost out so each vodka just gets a splash of Sprite this time. The roommate fills the glasses with more vodka. Travis says, “Right on. Strong round.” The guys go back in the living room. The roommate says, “Travis did you see the wet spot on Matt’s briefs?” Travis says no. Matt, now tipsy, stands up and shows Travis the wet spot. Travis puts down his drink and feels Matt’s ass and the wet spot. Travis says, “Yeah. Matt you are really wet.” Matt says, “It’s your load.” Travis pulls Matt into his lap. The roommate says, “Fucking bareback again Travis?” Travis shrugs. Matt can feel Travis is getting hard. Matt slips his legs over Travis legs and leans back. He takes a drink. Travis kisses him. Matt kisses Travis back. The roommate watches as Travis and Matt make out in this position. Matt is getting hard in his briefs. Matt slips his hand in his briefs as he makes out with Travis. Travis slips his hand in Matt’s briefs too. Travis grabs Matt’s cock and strokes it. Travis pushes his hard cock on Matt’s ass. Matt can feel Travis hard cock through his briefs and Travis shorts. Matt reaches under him, still kissing the roommate, and feels Travis cock. Matt rubs Travis’ cock. Travis pushes Matt to his feet. The roommate slightly tugs Matt’s arm. He is sitting on the couch and Matt bends over to kiss him. Travis is rubbing his hard cock on Matt’s ass and holding Matt’s waist. Travis slips his hands inside Matt’s underwear. Matt pushes his underwear off and steps out of them. Matt pushes his ass back. Naked and bent over kissing the roommate, Matt hears the first roommate say, “Fuck him Trav.” Travis drops his shorts and slides his raw cock into Matt. Matt moans as he takes Travis raw cock in him for the second time that evening. It feels good. Travis is holding Matt’s waist and fucking him hard. The roommate presents his cock to Matt. Matt starts sucking cock. He is being spitroasted by Travis and his roommate, who he just met. Matt is in heaven. He is feeling good in his ass, his mouth, his cock – hands are feeling his body. Things are escalating. Travis’ cock is pounding Matt’s ass. Matt is having a hard time sucking cock because it keeps getting shoved down his throat. He is gagging. He puts his hands on the roommate’s skinny pelvis to stead himself. He feels mostly skin and bone. The dude is very thin with a huge cock. The roommate can tell Matt is uncomfortable. He pulls his cock out of Matt’s mouth and pulls him up to kiss him. Travis is still fucking Matt. Matt moans and grunts as Travis pummels his ass. The roommate kisses Matt and feels Matt moaning as they kiss. He pulls back and watches Matt in the ecstasy of the moment. He says, “You like Travis cock in you?” Matt moans yes. Roommate says, “You want him to cum in your ass again?” Matt opens his eyes and says, “Yes.” Roommate says, “You are getting fucked bareback. You know he isn’t wearing a condom.” Travis says, “Matt let me fuck him raw the first time we fucked, didn’t you Matt?” Matt says, “I did.” Travis says, “I’m close. Beg for my load.” Matt looks at the first roommate and says, “Cum in my ass. Give me your load.” Travis fucks Matt for another minute and then grabs Matt’s hips, buries his cock inside and shoots his load. Travis pulls out. The roommate lays Matt back on the couch. He leans in and says, “I want to fuck you. Do you want me to wear a condom?” Matt hesitates and looks at Travis. Travis says, “I might have one if you want it.” Travis leaves the room to get a condom. Matt strokes the roommate’s big cock. The roommate says, “Can I fuck you raw until Travis comes back?” Matt guides the raw cock to his hole. Matt spreads his legs and lets the roommate’s raw cock inside his freshly bred asshole. Matt moans as the guy fucks his ass. He is opening his ass more for this bigger cock. He says, “You feel so big in me.” The roommate fucks Matt on his back for awhile, then flips him so Matt is hanging over the back of the couch. Matt sees Travis come back in the room, condom in his hand. Travis says, “Found a condom. Guess you decided to take it bare though?” Roommate says, “He did. I’m in him raw right now. Feels good right Matt?” Matt moans and says, “Yeah it does.” Matt looks at Travis. Travis hands Matt the condom. Matt takes it. Roommate says, “Want me to wear the condom?” Matt says, “Just keep fucking me raw.” Roommate says, “Fuck yeah” and keeps fucking Matt’s unprotected ass while Matt is holding the unopened condom. The roommate speeds up his fuck. Matt can tell he is getting close. The guy says, “Where do you want my load?” Matt says, “Cum in my ass.” The guy groans out and blows his load in Matt’s unprotected ass. The first roommate pulls out and says, “Thanks slut. Gonna shower.” He slaps Matt’s ass and heads off to the bathroom. Travis grabs Matt’s arm, pulls him into his lap. Travis asks, “Feels better bareback doesn’t it?” Matt says, “Yeah it does.” Travis says, “I knew you would give it up bareback the first night we fucked. I had a condom but pretended I didn’t. When you took off your pajama pants and showed me your hole after I told you I didn’t have a condom, I knew you wanted it bareback.” Matt says, “I wanted to get fucked. I was glad when you didn’t have a condom. I think I hate using them now.” Travis says, “I can tell. You gave it up bare to my roommate easy enough.” Matt is kinda embarrassed and says, “Was that slutty?” Travis says, “Yes. But he fucks every guy bare. His cock is seductive. He fucked me bare the first day we met. Just like he fucked you bare bent over this couch.” Matt feels Travis is hard again. Matt positions Travis cock and sits on it. Matt’s hole is open and wet now. Travis easily slides inside. Matt rides Travis cock as he jerks off. Travis says, “You have so much cum in you. I can feel it.” Matt says, “Me too.” Travis removes Matt’s hand from his cock and replaces it with his own. He says, “You can cum when you get me off with your ass.” Matt concentrates on Travis cock. He tightens and loosens his hole on the cock while riding it. He is acting like a slut. Moaning like one too. Travis is stroking Matt, but the feeling in Matt’s ass are getting him off. Matt can’t control it. Cum shoots out of his cock and covers Matt’s chest and abs. As it does, Matt’s ass squeezes Travis abruptly and sends Travis into orgasm – shooting his third load into Matt’s ass that evening. Matt and Travis collapse on each other.

Matt’s been working longer hours for about 2 weeks trying to get a project done at work. It’s 1am and Matt has just finished his portion of the work. He needs to be at work the next day to see how each of the team reacted to his portion of the work. Matt is really horny though, so he signs on to AOL for a quick chat and a wank. He gets into his city’s m4m chatroom easily and a familiar name hits Matt up. It’s a dude Matt met at one of Alexander’s parties. Matt knows he shouldn’t fuck around with more of Alexander’s friends. They can be so bitchy and judgmental about guys who fuck around. Ugh, but he wants to get fucked. Matt is stroking his hard cock and decides to just get fucked. He needs it. As long as they use condoms and Matt doesn’t let another of Alexander’s friends fuck him bareback, there is nothing slutty about it. The guy asks, “What’s up?” Instead of fucking around with shy politeness, Matt says, “Horny. U?” Guy says, “Same here. 😊” Matt says, “Want to come over and fuck me?” Guy says yes. Matt gives his address and says, “bring condoms.” Guy says, “Be there in 20 minutes.” Matt cleans out and showers, slips on some pajama bottoms. Dude shows up about 1:30am. The greeting is a bit awkward. Matt leads the guy to his bed, realizes he doesn’t really remember his name but thinks it begins with an S….Steve, Sean, Shawn, Silas, Sammy…..whatever. Matt lies back on the bed and pulls the guy to him. The guy leans over and starts making out with Matt. His hard cock pressing against Matt’s leg. Matt spreads his legs a bit as they make out. The guy can feel Matt’s hard cock too. Matt pushes the guy’s shirt over his head and starts to open his jeans. Matt rubs the cock over the boxer briefs. The guy says, “Fuck you are sexy. I’ve always wanted to fuck you.” Matt says, “You will tonight.” Matt pushes the guy’s jeans and underwear off. Matt leans over and takes the guy’s cock in his mouth. It is a good cock. The cock feels good in his mouth – just wide enough to stretch his lips and just long enough to push at the back of Matt’s throat without choking him. Matt is thirsty for sex and cock. Matt starts really giving the guy good head. He is sucking the guy all the way out and in his mouth, relaxing his throat, feeling the balls on his chin, making love to the cock. The guy is moaning, saying stuff like, “Damn you love cock,” “This is the best head I’ve even gotten,” “Suck my cock.” Matt is really into it. The guy pulls his cock back and says, “Slow down. I’ll cum before we fuck.” Matt looks at the clock, it’s 2am. He’s been sucking cock for almost 30 minutes. Matt says, “Let’s fuck.” They guy reaches for his jeans and feels his pockets, gets up to search his coat pockets, and says….”I don’t have a condom on me. Do you have one?” Matt says, “I asked you to bring them. I’m out of condoms.” The guy comes back over. They guy feels Matt’s hard cock through his pajama pants. He says, “You are so sexy. Can I see more of you?” Matt pushes off his pajama pants, spreads his legs and shows off his ass and cock for the guy. The guy leans in for a kiss. His hands rub Matt’s hole. He says, “Your hole is so hot. I can feel the heat coming off it. You need to get fucked don’t you?” Matt moans softly, “Yes.” They make out and Matt is moaning and feeling the nice cock rub on his hole and inside his legs. The guy takes his cock and presses it on Matt’s hole as they make out. Matt reaches over and grabs a lube bottle, pops it open and lubes the guy’s cock. Matt says, “Fuck me.” The guy looks down and sees this beautiful twink, legs spread, hole ready, asking for a bareback fuck. He lines up his cock and pushes slowly inside Matt’s unprotected ass. The top moans. Matt accommodates the top, letting his ass relax as the top (is his name Sammy?) pushes into him. The top’s face is in bliss. He looks like he is loving Matt’s ass. Matt feels the tops balls rest on his ass cheeks. Matt runs his hands over the top’s back as the top (is his name Spence?) begins to fuck him. Slowly at first, but then faster, more determined. Matt is moaning now too as the top is fucking him. He puts some lube on his cock and begins the jerk off. Matt can see the top isn’t going to last too long. The top is biting his lip and his eyes are closed. He says, “Matt you have the best ass. I’m going to cum soon.” Matt reaches down and grabs the top’s ass (Is his name Sean?) and says, “Cum right in me. Cum inside me. Give me your load.” The top says, “I’m cumming in your ass.” Matt jerks his cock as he feels the warm cum shoot inside him. Matt starts to shoot as the top’s cum breeds Matt’s unprotected ass. The top collapses in post orgasm bliss on Matt. He cuddles Matt and they fall asleep. The top wakes Matt up and breeds him two more times during the night.

ZEUS & WEEBLE Victor reminded him of George, his boyhood friend from so long ago. It was hard for Gabriel to judge the smaller guys when he looked down from so far above. A difference of a couple inches, or ten to fifteen pounds all looked the same on their tiny bodies. But one thing was always the same - that eagerness to prove themselves so that everyone else would think of them as one of the guys. George was good at that. When Gabriel would watch him longingly after their friendship ended he saw George fit in easily with a couple of the other guys at school. That made him both happy, and sad. Victor had almost exactly the same way of smiling no matter what it was. Victor always made sure to let the guys know how great they were doing, how strong, how fast, how proficient. He knew the best compliments to give. And he was ready to lend a hand no matter what the task or duty was. He volunteered more than anyone else. Some of the Bravos were reluctant, would grumble or try to trade off the duty Andrew told them to do. Victor never did and seemed happy to do anything. Gabriel hated to watch him struggle and had to stop himself from helping Victor all the time. Andrew had quietly talked to the rest of the Bravos and told them to only give Victor a hand if it looked like he couldn’t do something, and to let him try first. He said Victor needed to be proud of what he could do, and the more he could tackle himself the better off he would be. Andrew was pretty smart. He wanted Victor to know he would watch out for him by putting his arm over his shoulder. He was so little. Gabriel could fit his entire shoulder from neck to outside in his hand. Victor scooted closer to him when he did that and he squeezed his hand, being very careful to do it gently. They followed Andrew out the barracks exit to the area with the tables and benches where the other soldiers liked to smoke their cigarettes. There were five tables there, plenty of room to give some distance. Zeus noticed the others never bothered or tried to intrude upon the Bravos if there were more than two of them together. “Let’s sit here.” Andrew said, indicating the furthest table from the door. The yellow-orange glow of the sodium area lights above painted everything in brightness and shadows.Victor sat down and Addison went to go sit by Andrew across the table. Addison belonged next to Andrew, they were a team. Gabriel couldn’t fit easily between the bench and the table, so he straddled the bench with Victor on the bench to the side. “You want to tell me what’s going on with you, buddy?” Andrew asked. Gabriel loved the way Andrew always said it straight out but never accused or pried. Gabriel suspected Andrew had already figured out why Victor was acting different, that’s what Andrew was good at. And he was good at letting you say it yourself. Victor looked down at the table. Gabriel could see his hands between his nervously bouncing legs clasping and moving apart, his fingers dancing with anxious energy. Addison and Andrew couldn’t see that. Gabriel didn’t really know why, but it seemed the right thing to do when he moved forward and put his arm around Victor and snuggled up to his small body. “It’s okay Victor. You can trust Andrew. He’s not mean. And Addison isn’t mean either. They are really good.” He said softly down at Victor’s head. “They helped me and they will help you.” Gabriel felt Victor’s small body tremble. Was he afraid? “Don’t be afraid, Victor.” Gabriel tried to think of what Andrew would say. Both Sleeper and Andrew were just watching, silent. Gabriel liked how they could do that. They probably didn’t know that waiting was a bigger help than saying anything most of the time. And he didn’t know why he felt like Victor needed him but that’s the feeling he got. Or maybe it was that Victor needed all of them, he was just closest. Well, he could do that. He could do it because he didn’t do it for George. His only friend. But now he had Andrew and Addison. And he suddenly realized he could have as many friends as he wanted. ********** Victor didn’t want to look at these big guys, and suddenly he felt even more like an imposter. What was he doin here? Guys like them belonged here, not him. They were men, he was just a boy. And gay, which the Army absolutely said don’t belong here neither. His previous hopes of being straightened out by the military now struck him as laughably foolish. All he’d done was put himself into a situation where he had constant temptation and torture. He was 20 years old now and this dumb experiment proved everythin except what he wanted to happen. Two years and he didn’t feel any different. Well, except he’d learned not to swallow all the dicks. He supposed that was worth somethin, anyway. “Victor? C’mon man.” Sleeper said gently. “You have that look again. What are you thinking about?” It was time to stop pretendin. Besides, they’d see it all eventually if they hadn’t already so what was the use of tryin to hide it? It was pretty damn clear it was only a matter of time before things played out exactly like they had in the 128th back at Bragg. “I don’t belong here. At least not like you guys do.” Victor finally said. Assmunch and Sleeper both had the decency to look confused. That was nice of them to pretend like that. Sleeper jumped in before Assmunch. “You’re a Bravo, our brother Weeble. You sure as shit belong here.” Assmunch nodded. “That’s right. But why do you feel like you don’t?” Victor took a deep breath. It could be worse, he supposed. At least he was doing this on his own terms and gettin ahead of it before he messed up during some critical mission or operation. “That’s nice of you to say and all, but look at me. It takes so much more effort for me to do the same things you guys do. I struggle every day doin stuff you guys find easy. And what am I gonna do in any kind of direct engagement or combat? I’m only gonna get someone killed because I can’t keep up.” Assmunch snorted. “You keep up just fine, Weeble. None of us worry about you anymore. Yeah, when you first started it was pretty rough. But you weren’t any different than Wanker or Holler. Hell, even Chunk was struggling until he dropped that weight he brought with him when he came to Germany. Maybe you were too wrapped up in struggling to keep up to notice the others around you, but you weren’t the only one. Now, you do great.” “But I don’t feel like it. All you guys slow down so I can keep up. You always end up helpin me in some way. Nothin’s changed, I’m still not good at this stuff like you guys are.” Victor explained. Now that he started, he was feeling more confident that he was right. “I’m just holdin the Bravos back.” Assmunch shook his head. “Ah. So you’re feeling sorry for yourself. You think the rest of us find this stuff easy. We don’t slow down for you, Victor, we push you to keep up with us, and you do. Sleeper, how’d you do on last year’s M4 qualification?” Sleeper shrugged. “29. Not awesome.” “32 for me.” Assmunch said. “What about navigation?” “Ugh. Barely. I have the simple stuff down, but without Zeus and Cellblock with me in the forest in Germany I’d have led the guys to a cold death in that storm.” Assmunch nodded. “I’m better, but nowhere near as good as Zeus or Bootlicker. And what did Sleeper do in the forest? Sleeper got Zeus and Cellblock to help him. But we all know you qualified with a 37 on the M4, and your navigation and map reading is better than 80 percent of us. I could keep going but being able to ruck 40 pounds for 6 miles isn’t the only test of whether you belong here, Victor. Every single one of us depend on our brothers to give us a little help. That’s what brothers do. You’re our brother so we help you too. And don’t forget you didn’t start out as Infantry, so you’re having to catch up to a lot of us with the physical stuff.” “It feels like I won’t ever catch up. And you guys are talkin about Ranger School. There’s no way I’m gonna survive.” “Yes you will. You haven’t given up so far, and all of this has been really difficult. Why would you give up now?” Assmunch asked. Victor took a breath. “I guess I’m not givin up, exactly. I don’t wanna quit, and I don’t wanna stop bein a Bravo. You guys are totally nice to me, like…all of you. I guess I feel like if I can’t be like you guys and keep up by myself then I’m not really one of you. I feel like I’m pretendin’ to be a man. It sounds so stupid.” Assmunch’s eyebrows went up in surprise. “A man? Victor, you ARE a man. You aren’t pretending. Do you think even half the guys you went to high school with could do what you do now?” He paused. “Oh fuck, I know what you need.” “What are you thinking, Assmunch?” Sleeper asked. “Well, you all need it I think. Maybe I’m not doing the brothers any favors by keeping our noses to the grindstone and staying focused. You all need a reminder of who the fuck you are and how far you’ve come. We’ve been stuck behind Army walls for the last 8 months. It’s easy to lose sight of what all this means and I realized something when I went home. I want you guys to realize it too. We’re going off post Saturday.” *********** ASSMUNCH We finally got through Tower Week and while it seemed to go by quick, it also felt like we learned a thousand skills, terms, and details. We were kept running from location to location, listening in class, demonstrating what we were taught and of course jumping from taller and taller towers. We didn’t jump from the 250 foot tower, we were lifted up with a fully deployed parachute canopy and dropped, so you could learn to use the slips to guide your descent, and get a sense for how to hit the ground. It was way quicker than you expected. After a while, the height doesn’t even register and I have to say I don’t have any idea when I stopped thinking about that harness snapping into my groin but fuck I was relieved it wasn’t as punishing anymore. Not as punishing, but still not non-existent. You don’t stop moving or doing tasks from 0430 until 1800 after evening chow. And even after you were released it was study time because at any time while you were on the course a Black Hat could ask you to show and tell anything you’d been taught up until then. ‘What’s the donning procedure for the Harness Assembly?’; ‘Name 3 differences between the T-10C and the MC1-1B Canopy’; ‘demonstrate the 4000-count Exit Position’; ‘what are the 9 points of adjustment on the parachute harness’? They could tell at a glance who knew what they were doing, who made a mistake, and who was fucking off. It was their job to spot the slackers or those who were unprepared just as much as it was to instruct us and keep us from killing ourselves. Their duty was to make absolutely sure any unprepared soldier never made it on a plane for Jump Week. They didn’t yell if you got it wrong, they simply pointed out your mistake and instructed you on the right answer. I guess, for just this one thing, the Army figured fear and terror wasn’t a good motivator. Check back with me later in my career, there might be other things too, but right now, it was refreshing not to have a mistake shoved into your face. At this point, just about all the dead weight had dropped or been booted. All we had left to do was Jump Week, when we got to do five actual jumps from a C130 or C17. That was what this was all about…qualifying on your actual jumps. But, as we’d learned this week, way too many things could go wrong. Some were things you had to be prepared for - landing in a tree, water, power lines… a fucking building or structure of some kind. Others were malfunctions like your main parachute failing to deploy, lines getting twisted, descending into another paratrooper during descent. And then there were the mistakes. I don’t even want to think about those. If you were lucky, you’d only end up in a hospital for 8 weeks and physical therapy for 6 months after that. I’d told the guys we were going to enjoy our Saturday night out, but that morning at 0930 I grabbed Zeus to go around with me and talk to each brother individually to clear up anything they weren’t sure about, and to judge where they were having trouble. I was really proud of all of them, at how seriously they took the training and how they helped each other in between giving out heaping portions of ridicule and shit. What else were brothers for, right? I’d also had a quiet word with everyone about making Weeble feel even more included. Here’s the thing with Weeble: we weren’t doing him any favors by treating him like he needed our help. I don’t know where the good middle ground was but we didn’t need to treat him like he was one step away from failing all the time. After our talk Tuesday night I realized what I told him was true - he’d come a long way and he wasn’t the same soldier who seemed so inept when he first got to Germany. He’d grown, and we needed to grow with him. We’d fallen into a habit of watching out for him and he wasn’t fooled that it was for any other reason than he was the smallest. Sure, he needed the help way back then. But now he was 100% Infantry and we all needed to treat him no different than we’d treat any of the others. Just not like we treated Bootlicker because it literally took the whole Platoon to squeeze his ego and his brain into normal people size. Well, we were here to keep his ass grounded and we made sure he knew it. But Weeble? It was past time he stopped being the smallest brother, and became a brother in reality. My sessions with the Major were already showing benefits in all sorts of ways. I felt more centered, more focused and more aware. I did better on our morning runs, now up to 4 miles, and in morning PT. Of course, our morning runs weren’t a race because they wanted you to maintain a steady pace. You had a minimum completion time and a max. Still, the Bravos and any of the randoms who had an actual physical MOS felt 4 miles was a joke. I actually used the run time to meditate. I’ll go into detail some other time, but running was already a pretty mindless activity and with a group it became even more mindless because you had bodies around you that guided your path and pace. Benning ran a bus to town for the convenience of the soldiers in the Airborne Course, as well as those who were on temporary duty or assignment and had no personal transportation. We couldn’t stay out late if we wanted to catch the bus back, but that was okay. 2330 was the last bus which was fine because I didn’t want the Platoon to have a wild night. We could also get a cab if we wanted. Back then all the MP’s needed was your name and assignment to let a cab on post to pick you up. And the cab drivers who had the area around the base were pretty well known by the MP’s at the gate. Most of us couldn’t drink because Georgia’s legal drinking age was 21 so I didn’t think we’d be up for staying out too late anyway. In the afternoon we all went to the PX because more than a few of the guys realized their favorite shirt didn’t fit anymore or they wanted something new to look good in. We didn’t wear our civvies very often. I think my plan to get them to realize we were set apart from civilians was going to work pretty well, it was a strange feeling for way too many of the brothers to dress civilian. Combat boots walk a whole lot different than Nike Airs or Converse High Tops. Dimples was going to wear his boots but we told him not to be an idiot. I guess he thought he was going to impress some girl with his boots. Dimples wasn’t too bright. We had Potter take a picture of us with Wanker’s Canon 35mm and we made Wanker promise to get us all a copy of the print. That photo would become one of my most precious possessions in the years that followed. “What the fuck are you fucking around for? Let’s GO!” Demon cajoled with a hyper energy we all felt. Demon hated sitting still or waiting. “Troll…” Cellblock said. “Yeah yeah, I got him.” Troll replied. Troll was actually one of the ones we were waiting for. He rarely sped up or was in a rush. “The bus won’t be back for another 15 minutes Demon. Settle down. Besides, it’s 1930, we’re going to get to an empty bar and be jacking off with each other until the crowd gets there later. We’re not missing anything.” “Yeah, but it’s not HERE. Come on, Come on!” Demon refused to be calmed. He wasn’t feeling anything the rest of us didn’t feel. “Did everyone get enough cash this afternoon?” I asked. That was another thing that felt slightly off, carrying a wallet with money and I.D. It was different than being on duty somewhere that you needed it versus a physical training course. You didn’t carry your wallet during training because not only did you have no use for money, everything in your wallet would probably get ruined with sweat, water, dirt, mud or any number of other things and a lump in your pocket got in the way more often than not. At Airborne, all you needed was your I.D. and meal card during duty hours so those were the only items you kept on you. Of course we invited Potter, Battles and Lenger. They’d asked around and heard of a bar uptown that allowed under 21. I have no idea why they hitched to us for our night out when they were all a few years older and didn’t have to hang out with young Army Privates but I guess they had their reasons. We got lucky with a bus that was almost empty so we could all get on as a group and the cheap, basic nature of the white vehicle made me smile because like everything Army it was built for utility not comfort and reminded me of a school bus. The guys were totally hyped and I felt a little bad for the six other passengers who had to endure the rowdiness of 32 twenty year old soldiers on their first night out in 7 months. The night was chilly and I was mesmerized by the yellow/orange sodium streetlights making pools of light in the darkness as we passed close to buildings. In between, the Army let the darkness rule. As a training base, there was the occasional bit of foot traffic on the sidewalks as soldiers went to various Saturday night activities the base provided like the movie theater, bowling alley, gym, rec center, or even just going to hang out with someone they knew or just met. “Did you always want to be a Corpsman, Lenger?” I made sure to pronounce it correctly as Len-jer as he’d pointed out last week, turning to look at the Petty Officer. Zeus was sharing a seat with Potter, Sleeper was next to Battles, and I shared with Lenger. Potter and Battles were never far from Zeus and Sleeper. Although all the branches had their rivalries and you always believed your branch was the best, it just felt like Marines went with Army, and Navy went with Air Force. Navy and Air Force utilized machines to wage war and fight. The Marines and Army… well, we WERE machines. We were the boots on the ground. We led the charge, went in, looked the enemy in the eye and ruled the battlefield. We had a mutual respect between our branches even if we argued over who did it best. I admired how the Marines bred toughness and competence. But I admit to being a little puzzled why the Corpsman seemed joined at the hip with Battles and Potter. Lenger shrugged and nodded. “Free medical school? Fuck yeah. I don’t have to shoot someone in the head every day? Fuck yeah. I don’t have to dodge shells, bullets and mortars? No brainer. I don’t have to crawl around in mud with you bastards? Oh hell yeah.” He laughed. I couldn’t argue with that, but he wasn’t done. “Seriously though, I like fixing people and my parents don’t have enough money to send me to college and medical school. Never thought I’d be jumping out of a fucking plane though. I still don’t know why I signed up for the Airborne Course. They told me it would qualify me for an overseas station and I’d move to the short list. You know how it is, every bit of extra training moves your file to a better desk.” I could understand that. Getting stationed OCONUS (Outside the Continental US) was a hope most enlistees had. The military and crafty recruiters really sold the whole exotic adventure angle of enlisting because they knew it would seal the deal and get that signature. But like everything military there were no guarantees or promises and they held that carrot out in front of soldiers to incentivize training and performance. If there was one thing the military was good at it was offering incentive. Offering. Delivering, well not so much unless you constantly qualified at training and performance. I could only speak for the Army, but foregoing competence for political advancement eroded any trust the ranks might have in you. And there were plenty of those types - the ones who kissed ass and climbed by stepping on those around them. “Yeah, but you just have to get on a ship to go around the world.” I replied. Lenger’s face scrunched. “Nah. Boats aren’t for me.” I laughed. He grinned. I think he knew what I was going to say before I even said it. “You joined the Navy and you don’t like boats?” “See? You mud crawlers never understand. I’m fine with the sea, ships, all that. I just don’t want to be on one for six months and bunk three high, hop through hatches all day, ask for permission to go topside to see the sky once a day. I guess the worst part is you’re never alone and it’s never quiet. Some guys like that part of it. I don’t. It’s always close quarters on a boat. I did my stretch, never want to do that again.” He explained. I nodded. I wouldn’t like that either. It did make me wonder if the Navy had anything like an Infantry Platoon where you became brothers and stopped minding having them around all the time. “You have to be an Officer to be a doctor right?” I didn’t know that for sure, but it made sense. “Yeah, which is another reason I asked for shore duty. I need to finish school, get my degree. Then I get a commission and can go to Medical School. Potter was saying you hoped to get your Ranger tab?” “Not just the tab, Sleeper, Zeus and I want to be Rangers.” I answered. “Maybe a few of the other Bravos too. I haven’t asked them.” Lenger looked at me. “What about Officer? Any plans to get a Commission?” I shrugged. “Not sure. I don’t know if I’m Officer material. That’s a whole different world up there.” “Dude, you’re absolutely Officer material. I see the way you handle your guys. But the most revealing part is how they follow you. I have to be honest, Potter, Battles and I all wish you could tell us how you do that. You’re what? 19? 20? You don’t yell, you don’t give orders… you just tell them what you want and they get it done. Hell, they don’t even argue which I have to say just shatters my entire preconceived notions of Grunts.” That made me laugh. “Oh, we’re still Grunts. All of us certifiably dumb enough to pull a trigger. I don’t know, man. These guys are my brothers. I feel responsible for them. I want all of us to do well, be our best. We’re at our strongest when everyone pulls together so that’s always been my goal. I don’t give orders because I don’t have to make them do stuff. They’ve never let me down, so I won’t let them down.” Lenger nodded. “Yeah, definitely Officer material.” “I guess I had some good Sergeants and El Tees as examples.” I said. “My dad had a lot to do with it too. I just try to behave the way he said I should.” The bus passed through the security gate and we were suddenly on civilian soil. I know I was imagining it, but the air felt different. The curbs weren’t as crisp, the land alongside the road seemed wild and ignored. The businesses appeared a bit shabby. I don’t think civilians understood how every detail on a military base was organized, purposeful, directed, overseen, and inspected. Sure, civilian contractors were employed to manage the maintenance and upkeep of just about everything with a few important exceptions but God help whatever Officer commanded base operations if the grass wasn’t mowed or there was anything sloppy on the grounds. If a full bird or a two star saw that shit someone was getting a directive. Which meant the civilian contractors would have a military escort while they did their work for a week. Just passing through the gate felt like you entered a different world. The civilian world was wild, unmanaged, disordered, chaotic. Even the buildings were irregular without any sort of plan to their arrangement. The military functioned on order. I knew the brotherhood were noticing the view out the bus windows when it got quiet. Sure, they didn’t know why yet, but this was the feeling I wanted them to understand. We were different. We weren’t part of that world. We were something more. We could visit this world for a time, but we belonged in the Army world. Eventually we might manage to strike a balance like my Dad did, but the ways we were molded by the Army would never leave us. After a few stops, Potter announced our destination was coming up. “Time to LET LOOSE BRAVOS!” Demon shouted. Oh holy fucking hell… the last thing we needed was Demon off his leash. I wasn’t going to herd him, or any of the brothers. That would defeat the purpose of the exercise. If chips were going to fall, they’d do it without my control. “God help us.” Lenger muttered. I snorted. “Whatever happens tonight, at least it’ll make a great story to tell the Squids, right? Besides, I heard Fleet Week sets a high bar.” He laughed. “Touché. I can’t fucking wait!” And that made me laugh too. *********** The bar was empty. Everyone that was under 21 got a stamp on their hand in some kind of invisible ink that only showed up under a black light. Well, except for the Marines and Lenger because they were all a few years older. But it was a nice bar, and because we’d gotten there before 2200, we didn’t have to pay cover. Bonus. There were a few different areas with a bar in each one. I was looking forward to seeing the entertainment that the dance floor would provide. As you walked in there was a large area with two pool tables, a couple dart boards and a pinball machine. Around the corner was a sort of lounge area with a few high top tables and another small bar. The dance floor was through a wide doorway and up a couple steps. Off to the side of the dance floor was the largest bar. Potter had chosen well. Just judging by the size of this place, it was going to get really busy in a couple hours. I hoped there would be a lot of women. Not for me, Kevin was the only one on my mind, but even if they didn’t score I wanted the guys to remember what it was like to just have a good time. We soon got into Take The Table pool games while we passed the time until the bar filled up. Weeble surprised us all. He kept the table for over an hour, killing everyone who challenged him. “Fuck dude…you’re so lucky!” Shark said after the second time he lost in the rotation, watching Weeble sink the 8 ball in his called pocket. Weeble shrugged. “You played really good Shark. That 6 ball bank shot was amazing!” Shark scowled. “You had easier shots. Every time I had to shoot the cue ball was buried.” I watched Weeble as he smiled at Shark’s disgruntled comment. “But you still sunk five of yours with harder shots, Shark! You’re a good pool player.” I didn’t know a lot about pool, but it couldn’t be a coincidence that every time Weeble had a difficult shot and he missed the cue ball ended up in the worst spot for Shark. Over the course of the hour I watched Weeble hit shot after shot and leave the cue ball in almost perfect alignment for the ball he shot next. I felt goosebumps up my spine. Weeble knew what he was doing. He wasn’t going to lose unless he wanted to lose. I grinned when I also realized he was hiding how good he actually was. By this time the bar had started filling with both locals and military from the base. There was a group of four country boys watching the pool tables who looked like good ole boys. The way they were leaning in to talk to each other over the loud music signaled they were hatching some plan as they commented to each other about Weeble’s shots. Weeble kept looking over at them a little too regularly for me to think he wasn’t clued in to what they were planning. So I went up to him as Cellblock racked the balls. I leaned in to talk in Weeble’s ear while he chalked his cue. “I think those four want a piece of you.” I said. Weeble shot me a shocked look. “What do you mean, Assmunch?” I glanced at the country boys real quick. “They’ve been watching you play. They’re hatching some plan.” Weeble looked nervous. “Like what? Assmunch, don’t leave.” Huh? Why was he so worried? He could beat these backwoods country fuckers without looking. I could tell just by looking at them they thought they were the shit, some lucky prize for some unlucky girl who had the misfortune to swallow the drinks they’d ply her with before carrying her blasted ass out the door. They’d probably just fuck her drunk in the backseat of their truck and leave her in the parking lot without her panties to find her barely conscious way home. I knew the look, knew their type. They had all of Sleeper’s arrogance without his kindness. His swagger without his humility. And nowhere near his looks. Sure they were four good looking guys, decently built but nothing remarkable next to the guys in the Bravos. And they were going to be really sad…so sad, when the girls saw them in the same room with Sleeper and Zeus. They’d be lucky if there was enough alcohol in the entire bar to make the women forget about Sleeper and Zeus. “Hey black boy! We gonna take next.” The tallest asshole called out just as Cellblock finished snugging the 8 ball into the center of the rack and rolling it forward over the set spot on the green felt. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck spike. Cellblock looked at me. I gave him an angry look back and shifted my head sideways. However he wanted this to go, I was behind him. He looked a little defeated and I suddenly felt both anger and sadness. How the fuck was this 1993 and this fucking bullshit still happened? I got up off my stool and was just about to intercede when Potter walked up. I swear to FUCKING God this FUCKING Jarhead had the most horrible timing. “Hey Assmunch, I got you a drink. Pour it in your virgin glass. Here’s an empty for what you’re drinking now.” He handed me the empty. The bar had clear glasses for the alcohol drinkers and red plastic cups for the underage patrons. Once again, my initial impression did the Lance Corporal a huge disservice. As I poured my plain coke into the empty and swapped it with whatever alcoholic beverage Potter had selected for me I mentally apologized to whatever God the Marines worshiped. Potter had been nothing but a complete brother. “We’re about to have a problem, Marine.” I said. “These fucking rednecks just called Cellblock a black boy and took the next game.” “Hoo-rah, time to stack some bodies.” Potter flexed his impressive body and gave an evil smile. Yeah, that was the last time I’d doubt Potter. And actually, it was the last time I doubted any Marine the entire time I served. I looked at Cellblock with a similar grin, but was surprised when he shook his head surreptitiously with a serious, frightened look. I was going to need a talk with him for whatever that was about. Bravos don’t back down. I learned later that Georgia still had a reputation with black people for continuing the worst racial abuses imaginable. Cellblock explained it using terms like ‘uppity niggers’ and ‘teach them to know their place.’ I remember the shock I felt at that. I mean, I wasn’t completely clueless, I knew subtle racism was still around. But this was like something out of the 1950’s. “Sure guys!” Cellblock said, turning around with a smile. “I’ve already played a couple times. You can play Victor.” Totally and completely out of character for Cellblock, to be so effusive and servile. I might be crazy, but it almost sounded like he tried to sound more … fuck… more white. Cellblock sounded nothing like that usually. He was more rough around the edges intelligent, direct, even challenging. And ‘Sure guys!’ From his mouth just hit wrong…It should have been ‘Aight’ or better yet ‘fuck yo white ass’. “Damn straight. Luke, you want first?” The biggest of the pack said to the skinny redhead of the group. Tall and lanky, Luke stiffened up like he held the entire white race on his shoulders. Poor Weeble had a deer-in-the-headlights look on his face. I walked up to Weeble and whispered in his ear. “They shit on Cellblock. Teach them you don’t fuck with the Bravos.” He looked at me, and I kept his gaze until his eyes hardened to match my own. “Twenty to play on my table.” The lead redneck said, throwing a bill down on the table edge. He seemed confident that his redheaded buddy had some skill. Oh, now… this fucking backwoods piece of racist shit was already counting his paycheck. Well, even though I’d never seen the redhead play, there was no way I was going to leave Weeble out to dry. “Just $20? I guess you’re afraid or don’t know the price. Victor’s table costs $60. It’s cool if you can’t afford it.” I had confidence in Weeble, I had been watching how he planned every shot. There was no way this small town fucking bar table idiot could outplay my brother. And even if Weeble lost, we’d walk away and forget about these fuckers. $60 was worth it to walk away from garbage like this. The redneck posse huddled in a nervous, fervent conversation. Lead redneck… hell, let’s just call him the Grand Dragon, because it was highly likely his Uncle-dad-Grandfather ran the local Klan chapter… angrily gestured his three buddies into silence and I chuckled when he held out his hand and they deposited three $20 bills. This fucker…. Wow… I saw no indication of how huge his fucking balls had to be because the front of his tight jeans were completely flat. He’d bet money he didn’t even have. Wow… Maybe Bootlicker could take lessons from this fuckwad. I squeezed Weeble’s shoulder, and leaned in. “Take it all, brother. Let’s make the boys some money. If you feel good about it, slack off and make it seem like you’re just getting lucky. Let’s milk these assholes for every dollar they got paid working at the hog farm.” Weeble grinned. “I can do it.” He said. I took out the whole sixty bucks I’d gotten for the night from my wallet and handed it to Potter. I only expected to actually spend maybe $20, but I wanted to have enough to cover someone else if they needed it. “Get their $60, bud.” Potter went over to the Klan and held out his hand. “Fuck you! We ain’t lettin’ one of your buddies hold the money.” Grand Dragon spat. I raised my eyebrows and smiled. “My buddy’s a Marine. Are you saying that Marine doesn’t have honor?” Well that hit a nerve, but let’s be honest here, Potter may not be Sleeper’s size, but he was still jacked and there was no mistaking he could kick some serious ass. The Grand Dragon had at least half a brain because he handed his sixty to Potter. And of course Potter did the honorable thing and stood off to the side visibly holding the game purse so that no one had any cause to start an argument. “Victor, it’s your table, go ahead and break.” I said, nodding to Weeble. “Bar rules, no slop, call your shot and contact with the opponent’s ball first loses your turn. Clean shot on the 8 ball to win.” I announced. “Multiple balls sunk on the break is breaker’s choice. Scratch is cue ball behind the line.” Standard shit, but I wasn’t going to let them have any room to cheat. I already knew they would if given half a chance. “That’s right. Break ‘em midget.” Grand Dragon sneered. It was going to take everything I had not to force his teeth down his worthless throat with my fist. I signaled to Cellblock to come stand beside me. There was a certain amount of smack talking expected, but country cousin-fucker over there was way over the line. ‘Trust Weeble.’ I told myself and took a deep breath. I automatically fell into Major Collins’ lesson and the calm descended. I reached out and grabbed Cellblock’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. He looked at me and I gave him a smile. “Weeble’s going to get you some payback, brother. Just watch.” And it was a work of art. Weeble could have taken the win without ever letting the lanky redhead have a shot, but he played it sly and sneaky. He missed shots I knew he could make and somehow left the redhead with no clear shot. Weeble attempted to sink his 2 ball and instead nudged Redhead’s 9 ball right in front of the pocket. And Redhead was a bull in a china shop on the felt, slamming the cue ball and sending it spinning around the table into other balls even when he made his shot. There was no finesse, no strategy, no positioning like Weeble orchestrated. Redhead was the sort that believe power demonstrated skill so he hit the cue ball hard, every time. Unless you’d seen Weeble’s hour long run before the Klan showed up it absolutely looked like he was outmatched. The best part of it was how frustrated Redhead got when Weeble never left him a clear shot to any of his balls, even though Weeble refused to sink any of his own. I had a hard time not laughing at how Weeble was making it seem like he was the absolute worst player ever to play while at the same time frustrating Redhead so much he couldn’t stop whining. Finally, it was down to Redhead having a half table rail shot on the 11 ball, while Weeble still had his 5, 1 and 6 ball scattered over the table. At a casual glance, it looked like Weeble was going to lose. Except there was no shot on the 8 without it contacting Weeble’s 1 ball by the corner pocket. Even if Redhead made his 11, which I seriously doubted he had the skill to both sink a rail shot AND line up for the 8, he was never going to be able to get past Weeble’s 1. Of course Redhead missed his rail shot on the 11, but he did position it near the corner pocket for his next shot. It was a thing of beauty how Weeble ran the game without making it look like he knew what he was doing all along. I leaned into Cellblock. “You’re going to want to get the guys. Weeble is going to empty these fucker’s pockets, and I want them to see it.” Cellblock grinned and darted off into the depths of the bar. I crossed my arms and put my best Sarge’s scowl on my face as Weeble lined up for his shot on the 1, his last ball. He struck the cue ball so gently I felt my stomach clench. There was no way it was going to hit with enough force to roll the 1 into the pocket. “Hah! The little midget don’t have the strength. He’s all tired out.” Grand Dragon laughed. But damned if that cue ball didn’t kiss the 1 just enough to ease it behind the 8 ball and move it towards the pocket. “It hit the 8! I saw it hit the 8!” Grand Dragon was already celebrating. If the 1 ball fell, Weeble would lose his turn based on slop and Redhead would have a clean shot on the 8 for the win. Of course the 1 never touched the 8. But that wasn’t going to matter. Grand Dragon was going to cheat so he didn’t lose his $60. I watched the 1 ball trickle towards the pocket. And it stopped, blocking the 8. I had a whole new appreciation for Weeble in that moment. He knew. He knew there would be bullshit. He never wanted that 1 ball to fall. And the cue ball barely moved off the rail. Weeble set it all up. I watched him turn to me and smile that fucking bright happy smile of his. This was the Weeble I wanted to see all the time. The brothers were filtering in to stand watching around the periphery as Redhead tried to line up on the 11 but the cue ball was too close to the rail to get a clean hit. He totally scuffed it but somehow managed to send the cue ball in the general direction of the 11 ball which was all it took because it was just a couple inches from the pocket. Redhead was no true pool player, or he would have missed so that Weeble was left with an impossible shot. Instead, Redhead was going to lose the game without Weeble having to do a thing. After the 8 ball fell Potter handed the $120 to Weeble with a smile. The guys were all congratulating Weeble and he looked like he won the lottery. “You’re not done, midget.” Grand Dragon shouted. “You got real lucky, but you gotta play me now. Double or nothin.” I stepped forward. “We just came out to have some fun tonight. I think we’re done playing pool. Table’s yours.” I said. “You can leave. But the midget is going to play me.” I looked around dramatically. “Play all the midgets you want, Sparky. I don’t see any here, but knock yourself out in that fantasy world you got going on.” I turned around to walk back to the guys and something told me he wasn’t going to let me go. I trusted the feeling I had and half turned to see his hand extended to either grab me or push me. It didn’t matter which. “If you still want to finger fuck your sister later with that hand you need to get it the fuck away from me, dickhead.” I growled. Okay, so that was probably the wrong way to de-escalate this, but c’mon… I was working with a fucking cave-man here. What else was going to get through his Neanderthal skull? If there’s one kind of guy I knew all about, it was this small town fucking cow turd has-been high school hero. It would be my distinct pleasure to dismantle this racist piece of ignorant shit one vital organ at a time until he cried blood. “Let’s step outside and say that again, asshole.” Grand Dragon blustered. I blinked. Points for stupidity and an utter lack of awareness. Double points. “I’m not going to have a bar fight with you.” I resumed walking away. Well fuck. This wasn’t how I wanted this night to turn out. But I’d had about enough of these cockweasels. This wasn’t going to be easy. I took a deep breath, found that calm center and turned around to give him an apologetic grin. “Sorry about the sister thing. Look, no one in my group wants to play pool with you. And I don’t want to fight you. Let’s just pretend this never happened and get on with our night.” I offered. “What about my money?” He shot back. “Victor won it. It was your idea to bet money in the first place.” It wasn’t looking like he was going to let this go. “One game. Same stakes.” He was really pushing it. “Do you even have $60? You had to borrow from your friends the last time.” He looked at his buddies who didn’t look happy. “I tell you what, if you win, you get your $60 back. If Victor wins, you walk away, enjoy your night and we can all just call this a learning experience.” I offered. “Fine.” Grand Dragon grumbled. I didn’t know why he was grumbling, it was a pretty sweet deal for him. But, I told myself, Neanderthals can’t math too good so I couldn’t expect higher brain functions like realizing when someone was giving him a gift. “Great! Your rack.” I fake-smiled the words in his direction. There’s no need to describe what happened. Weeble broke, then ran the table. Grand Dragon never got to use his cue stick. He was angry and in shock. There was absolutely no luck in what Weeble did. “Have a great night.” I said, putting my arm around Weeble and leading him to the other part of the bar where the dance floor was. The rest of the guys followed us. “Wow Victor, where did you learn to play like that?” “I bought a book. And there was this place all the kids used to hang out called Mr. Z’s Gameroom in a strip mall. They had eight pool tables and it wasn’t expensive to rent one for a couple hours. They had all the best arcade games too, Ms. Pac-Man, Galaga, Street Fighter, Golden Axe, like every one of the best. I’d just get a table and since I was alone different guys would ask if they could play me. I can’t play too good on a regulation table, it’s too big for me. But bar tables are easy. Here’s your money back.” I took my $60 back from him. “No shit, you really know how to work the ball, Victor.” He laughed. He really was a naturally happy dude. “I didn’t even do half the tricks I know.” He grinned. I wasn’t really a dancing kind of guy, so I just stood off to the side watching the Bravos have fun. I should have known the Klan wasn’t going to let things go. I was sipping the drink Potter had brought me keeping tabs on all the Bravos and whether they seemed to be enjoying themselves. Sleeper was doing his best trying to teach Zeus how to move on the dance floor but it wasn’t going well. They had a couple girls with them who were trying really hard to bark up the wrong tree. Even so, I could tell both of my friends were enjoying the attention. Sleeper knew what they were after, but it was so obvious that Zeus didn’t have a clue. Cellblock was sweet-talking some pretty thing at the bar, Troll was on the dance floor surprising everyone with his fancy feet…hell I never would have thought he was a good dancer but my man could move. Overall, half the guys were working their novelty to the local girls and the other half were as awkward as I expected. On my third scan, I realized I wasn’t tracking Weeble because he was lost in the tall crowd, it was because he just wasn’t anywhere. I made a circuit of the large dance floor, then went through the door to the lounge area, and finally the game area near the front door. No Weeble. I got a cold feeling when I also didn’t see the Klan anywhere. Bathroom. I went to the corner in the lounge area where the bathrooms were. It was still only 2245 so the place wasn’t super packed yet and there wasn’t a line at the bathroom. I pushed open the door and saw the Grand Dragon had Weeble cornered by the long trough urinal. Victor looked terrified and I wondered why. Country Cousin-Fucker might be a big boy, but he was a dumb piece of shit and Weeble could handle him with no problems. “Victor, quit fucking around and kick this inbred fucker’s ass.” I said, crossing my arms by the door. “I can’t Andrew. They might kick me out.” He seemed completely defeated. “I’ll just give him his money back like he wants.” “Stay out of this or I’ll kick your ass too.” Grand Dragon snarled. I sighed and ignored his ridiculous empty threat. “Weeble, the Army won’t kick you out and you won’t leave the Bravos for fighting. We aren’t on post, and this isn’t another soldier. None of this is a military matter. Stand up for yourself and show this piece of shit why we’re the best.” “Give me my money midget!” “You have to do it, bud.” I told Victor. I kind of wondered where the Grand Dragon’s Klan were, he didn’t seem the type to do anything without his friends. I moved my foot to wedge the door. This shouldn’t take long. “Put him down Weeble.” Grand Dragon was no trained fighter. If he had any sense he’d use his longer reach to stay outside of Weeble’s striking range. Instead, like all idiots who were over confident in their ability he used his size for intimidation. In a real fight, intimidation was an amateur dependence that only left you open for an attack. It wasn’t lost on me that Grand Dragon hadn’t even begun smacking Victor around. Bullies were always reluctant to have a true fight. “Assmunch… I don’t—“. I didn’t let him finish. “Fuck him up, Weeble, NOW!” There’s something to be said for training. A direct command takes a short cut past the decision making processes and action follows automatically when you’re trained for it. Now Grand Dragon was somewhere around six feet tall which put him a head taller than Weeble. That meant nothing. The sad part of all of it was how casually Weeble moved, grabbing Grand Dragon’s right wrist and smoothly stepping under his arm (size difference advantage superior move) twisting it with an almost gentle force until Grand Dragon was bent over and attempting to turn. Then Weeble kicked the country boy’s left knee from the side and just like that he collapsed where his chin hit the lip of the trough urinal and he crumpled to the piss splattered floor. Three seconds, tops. Weeble released his opponent’s wrist. “Victor, you can’t ever be afraid to fight.” I told him. “Don’t ever take shit from anyone. You’re always going to have people underestimating you and treating you like you aren’t their equal. Well you aren’t their equal, you’re better. And with most guys, it’s only going to take one time of you proving that for them to give you the respect you deserve. None of us go looking for a fight, but if one comes to us it’s sometimes going to be unavoidable. You deal with it. Figure out the consequences later. Now let’s get out of here. I figure you earned a drink.” “Are we just going to leave him there?” Weeble asked as he walked over to me. “Yep. His friends will find him. Other people will just think he passed out drunk. And trust me, he’s not going to tell anyone that you kicked his ass without any kind of fight. He’ll make up some excuse. Who knows, maybe he’ll get lucky and wake up before anyone sees him laying in piss.” We left the bathroom. I checked my watch. 2249. Guess it was time to round up the guys. I didn’t want to wait for the last bus… it was going to be full. Everyone except Potter, Battles and Lenger reluctantly came along. The Marines and Corpsman were going to stay out, drink, and catch a cab back to base. It looked like they had some chicks interested. Potter probably had a sure thing the way the woman was snuggled under his thick arm. Battles was going to have to wingman it for the chick’s friend but she didn’t look disappointed in second choice even if she wasn’t getting as cozy with him. Her body language was still hesitant but her facial expressions demonstrated interest. Frequent smiles, eye contact, that pretense of bashfulness. Yeah, all Battles had to do was make a move. Maybe they would be catching that cab back in the morning. I sat with Weeble on the bus back to Benning. “You had the most interesting night of all of us, bud.” I told him, laughing. “Hey guys, guess what Weeble did?” I announced to the brothers. “Besides kicking our ass in pool? Dude, you’re something else!” Troll called out. Weeble smiled big. “He KO’d that asshole in the bathroom when he tried to make Weeble give him back the money he’d won.” I told them. “No shit? Fuck yeah, that’s what he gets for messing with a brother!” Bootlicker cheered. I held my hands up with a single finger. “Put him to sleep in two moves.” Sleeper got up and clapped a hand on Weeble’s shoulder with a big handsome grin. “That’s my man!” He congratulated. “Damn bro, you kicked ass all over the place tonight you fucking badass.” Chunk called from the back. “WEEBLE ROCKS!” The rest of the guys all chimed in with various congratulatory shouts. “Get up and acknowledge your fans, bro!” I slapped him on the back. Weeble stood up on the seat and took a sheepish bow with what I can only describe as a surprised smile of pure happiness. When he sat back down I said “See? Don’t ever doubt yourself again. You belong with this group of idiots.” I politely ignored the tears that started to form in his grateful eyes.

richie west is not poz. yet. but he is a luscious piece of boyish man with a mans' cock. i would add as well sean storm. a nice guy as well.

Assmunch With Wanker squared away, I made my way down the hall toward the meeting spot where Sleeper waited. I glanced behind me to see the huge form of Zeus entering the door behind which Wanker waited. I sure hoped I was right about both Wanker’s problem and Zeus’ situation. My reputation as the asshole whisperer was hanging in the balance. The truth was I had never had a problem with dudes that were gay. I knew one guy in high school who was an amazing dude. Kevin Copeland. He sat next to me in English and History senior year, and he was pretty smart. Not the same kind of smart as Bootlicker, who was crafty and big-brained about facts. No, Kevin was quick but quiet, a thinker, puzzle solver who knew what made people tick. He was always watching people with eyes that rarely stopped moving, making me think of the hands of a clock driven by wheels and gears in his brain clicking along tirelessly with every second of every minute. His dry humor cracked me up too many times, which always got me into trouble in class. He’d mumble a few words out of the side of his mouth during the teacher’s lecture and a few seconds would go by while my mind connected the dots and I’d get hit with an involuntary laugh, after which Kevin’s lips would twitch in an almost unnoticeable grin. At first I thought he got a kick out of getting me in trouble, but later I figured out he just liked making me laugh and that I was someone who understood him. I’m pretty sure that’s why he eventually made a move on me. Kevin was kind of a loner and that always surprised me because he wasn’t a bad looking guy. I mean, I’m not in the habit of checking out dudes or anything, not back then anyway, but Kevin was well put together. He was shorter than me by a couple inches, dark almost black hair that he let grow long, just past his shoulders. It was naturally wavy and thick, looking both wild and tamed at the same time, resting on his shoulders. I kinda envied his hair. My dad would never let me grow my hair long like that. Frequently, almost as an unconscious habit, he’d pull it back from his face, raking his long fingers along his scalp to draw the length back across the top of his head to get it out of his face. When he did, it allowed me to see the square corner of his jaw below his ear, its straight edge solid and crisp all the way to his chin. Sometimes he’d have his hair pulled back in a warrior’s knot, the sides and top tied up in ball towards the top of the back of his head, the back hanging loose to his shoulders. It looked really cool, and one day I told him how good it looked, like a Viking or the Huns we learned about in World History. I got a direct look from his grey eyes and a full smile, both of which were rare things from him. After that he started coming to school with a warrior’s knot more often. I don’t know if he did that for me, or because it was easier for him to manage, or he wanted to look good for himself, I just knew it was fucking cool as hell. Kevin had the grunge look. You know, loose jeans, tee shirt, plaid flannel long sleeve tied around his waist, some kind of hiking boot on his large feet. I could never figure out how a guy that was 5’9” came out with size 11 feet. Hell, I was 5’11” (okay, 5’10” & 1/2… so sue me for lying about a half inch. ) and only wore 9&1/2’s. When he didn’t wear a jacket (always some black leather biker’s thing, or a ragged jeans fabric) you could see he had a dense, sturdy body. Heavy, thick shoulders and arms that were more solid than beefy and muscular. His chest was also thick but without defined pecs like mine. His waist followed the pattern, not fat but still narrower than his shoulders and chest and thick. He had a good butt, if you like that sort of thing and strong legs I later learned came from his love of skateboarding. He obviously didn’t work out and I couldn’t really say he needed to. Like his hair, his attitude , personality and his clothes, his body was a statement of casual strength, not too much effort or attention required as if it just climbed onto him every morning as a whole thing from a pile of comfortable parts. If I had to use one word to describe him, I guess the word was Comfortable. That’s the way he looked, talked, moved, and felt inside my head. Now, it might seem like I focused way too much on how Kevin looked, talked, moved and felt, but in all honesty it wasn’t anything I did consciously until after… well… IT… happened. I still remember everything about that day in vivid detail. School started like any other day, with me hanging out with my friends in front of the cafeteria, waiting to go into the building next door for our first class. We all got to school early so we could hang out and talk about classes, girls, the weekend, and our problems. Kevin wasn’t in our group, like I said he was a loner. Probably because we were all your typical high school jackasses and Kevin wasn’t that kind of guy. Because it was November I was between football and baseball seasons, so there was no practice. Twoadays never left me with time to screw around with my friends who weren’t on the team. Yeah, I was technically a jock, but I just played because I loved the games and competition. I wasn’t on some path to sports superstar. No college was going to recruit me. My stats were just average, I wasn’t physically exceptional (hint - if you’re under 6’ you’d better be exceptional in performance and stats to even get a glance by a college) and I didn’t have the drive. Besides, I’d always figured I’d join the Army like my dad when I got out of high school. Maybe that’s why I didn’t put my all into sports. I liked being part of the team, and the girls loved jocks, and high school was easier when you were a jock. Not all jocks had their eyes set on turning pro, some of us did it for all the other reasons and rewards, like Saturday night blowjobs and young perky tits in your face. When the 15 minute bell rang, we all started going towards the door to the building. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kevin running towards the building from the parking lot, so I waited. He wasn’t sprinting, but his loping strides ate up the distance without any effort showing on his face. I watched as his leather jacket blew open from the wind, his flat solid stomach and hips rotated with each thrust of his legs, the plaid shirt tied around his waist flapping behind him. Three necklaces bounced on his upper chest. It struck me that just like every other aspect of him, he ran comfortably, casually, but with a power and strength that looked easy. It was a weightless glide, not some angry or violent action. I remember that word appearing in my head when I watched him: weightless. Comfortable and weightless. I was surprised how soon he reached me, it had to have been just five seconds. “Thanks “ Calm. Softly spoken. As if he hadn’t just done a 40 yard dash in five seconds without even trying. “Dude. You ever think about running track? You’re fucking fast.” I watched his chest and stomach. Not even breathing a little hard. He looked at me from the corners of his eyes, his face pointed towards my hand on the open door. “Track.” He paused. Then, “track shorts”. Another pause. “Absolutely not.” As usual, my mind took its usual three count to put it all together, and I barked out a laugh. The image of this guy in those high cut, tight shorts, and a tank top was ridiculous. His riveting eyes darted to mine and he did that momentary slight grin. “Good point. The shorts are ridiculous.” I waved him through the door ahead of me. The image of him gliding weightlessly in his track outfit flashed into my head again. “But you’d still make them look good.” I mumbled unconsciously. “What?” He stopped, and I ran into him. “Dude!” I complained. He took a step and turned around. “What did you say?” He was looking me straight in the eye. He had some crazy long dark eyelashes. They made his grey eyes stand out so much. He looked surprised. I shook my head. “Huh? I said good point, they’re ridiculous.” He was still staring at me. This was the longest he’d ever looked me in the eye. It made me a little uncomfortable, but at the same time I couldn’t look away. I remember specifically getting caught in his eyes, thinking how they looked like soft grey flannel. He had soft eyes. “After that. You said something after that.” He uttered with a breathy whisper. Calm. Steady. Weightless. I thought back, a puzzled look on my face. “No I didn’t.” Seriously, I couldn’t remember saying anything after that. “At least I don’t think I did. What did you hear?” He seemed to be searching my face for something, those thought-filled eyes moving back and forth, the clockwork inside his skull turning. I felt like he was taking me apart, piece by piece, looking under the rusty hood. It should have felt intense, like an attack, that stare of his went so deep into me. I have no recollection of where we stood, who was around us, or how much time passed. I let his brain disassemble me, break me into pieces, I allowed it, thinking of nothing except that he could do what he was doing for as long as he needed to do it. I didn’t feel threatened, or tense, or nervous. I was both there and not there. I didn’t exist except where I was reflected in his eyes. I had no body, just floated there before him as his perfect creation. I felt comfortable. Comfortable and weightless. So when he leaned forward, and pressed his lips to mine, I let him. No, that’s the wrong term. I didn’t ‘let’ him. In order to let him I would have had to consciously choose. It just was. In that moment there was only him, his eyes, and his lips that were incredibly soft. What I do remember is that it lasted forever, his gentle steady kiss, before my mouth betrayed me and kissed him back. There was no thought to it, just a kiss my mouth needed to perform on his soft, beautiful gentle lips after they asked me so nicely, like a please and thank you. My head had no thoughts of boys kissing boys. This wasn’t some lurid, licentious or lustful act of depravity. I was just there, engaging in an act of easy natural need like breathing, exploring his mouth with mine without hurry, without thought, just because every movement brought with it a new and more interesting area. At some point in my journey, my adventure upon the softness of his lips, I released my tongue to taste him. His lips tasted like mint. My tongue took its time to find every corner with a slow and deliberate movement. It didn’t flex or harden, remaining soft and languid as it voyaged fully over each inviting pink pillow. Without my asking them to, my hands had risen up to cup his solid masculine jaw, my fingers caressing his neck while my thumbs stroked his cheeks. When my tongue wandered between those comfortable lips, they relaxed exactly as I needed them to, as if our organs were speaking to each other on their own. They needed to talk, to visit, to tell each other stories like friends who had missed each other for too long. His teeth greeted me first, so my tongue searched out every one, tracing their outlines top to bottom and side to side. Incisors. Canines. First molars. Licking , savoring each individual tooth, taking my time to be sure I explored their entire surface, even scraping the sharp points. I went along his gums, finding the crease of his jaw where it met the flesh of his face, and the rigid divider just beneath his nose. I played in the gap where his gums met the smooth white enamel of his teeth, fascinated by the difference in texture, finding it a sexy thing, that juxtaposition of hard and tender, soft and rigid. In my head, this wasn’t a kiss. This was like listening to my favorite song, getting taken away by the music, hearing but not listening because I was transported INSIDE the music, sailing on the notes, carried by the rhythm. No time existed, only the journey and the fascinating new places it would take me on its own without my conscious guidance. In the year since I graduated, I learned that this was a habit of mine, and always had been. My mind would take me and the world would disappear when I found this mental state. No judgment existed, no choice, no worry, just being in the moment as it expanded in my mind. It was safe, it soothed me, excited me, and everything was nothing. My body wasn’t there, not connected to me while my mind went where it needed to. A tiny piece of me fed instructions to my body to give my mind what it needed, and that was all, but I couldn’t tell you what those instructions were. Years later I would understand that this was meditation, letting go of everything to free the mind. Back then I only knew it as losing myself: the place where there was no ‘me’. When my tongue finished, it pulled back slowly, revisiting its favorite places, old friends, a quick goodbye but stopping for a longer moment on its favorite friend, those beautiful gentle lips. And then, his tongue came to visit me. Hesitant. Cautious. It moved so slowly, so tender, asking politely once again. In answer, my hands pulled him into me, my own lips opened even as my tongue darted forth to tease him. I had never had a kiss like this with any of the girls I’d been with. There was no casual, effortless connection with them. With them, there was a purpose, mostly mechanical, a choreographed dance with deliberate steps and movements intended to lead to a sexual act. A sexual act I desperately wanted and loved, in case you thought otherwise. There was always a navigational issue with girls, I could never just lose my self, because every guy had to be hyper aware of every signal, make sure she was in full consent, to make sure she enjoyed it all way more than I was allowed to. All the while she couldn’t enjoy herself TOO much, not wanting to come across as a total slut. Always careful, slightly awkward, each of us holding back. My too big mouth trying not to swallow their too small mouth, my heavy, long thick tongue trying not to choke or overwhelm them. Having to walk the line between strong and aggressive, a too thin line sometimes when your heartbeat sinks to your dick. There was no kiss that only existed as a doorway to a sublime disappearance, a kiss that wasn’t a kiss, but an existence. No kiss like Kevin’s comfortable , weightless kiss. And when he felt my permission, my acceptance, he performed his magic again, only this time my mind receded, becoming a spectator once more just like that eternity of his lips first touching mine. His tongue invaded me, eager and on a hunt. It came for something, hungry to conquer. My mouth relished the strength of his attack, the abandon and thoughtless aggression. It would have its satisfaction, it would fill its starved emptiness with everything it could devour. Sacrificing myself to him seemed only right, this desperate animalistic taking , I could deny it nothing. If there was any way I could give it more, I would. On an instinctual level I celebrated the release of the hound, knowing that allowing it to feed meant freedom. His tongue reached my very soul, no different from how his soft flannel eyes ensnared my mind. I fed it to him, I no longer wanted my soul, not inside me. I wanted him to consume it, to keep it prisoner as deep inside his self as he could crush it. I had no reason left. He could take what he wanted, anything he needed. I would just live inside him, such an easy choice. His tongue pushed against my tongue like a bully, throwing it wherever he chose, trying to flip it over on its back. He drove the hardened tip deep into the soft tender flesh on the floor of my mouth, then spread the tip wide to fling my tongue upward like a killer whale flinging its seal victim in the splashing surf of our shared saliva. It was pure playful violence, toying with me. His tongue yanked back, but only so his teeth could nip my lips, before thrusting again into my beaten mouth. A wave of his saliva followed, only for me to swallow every drop after which my lips closed over his tongue so I could suck it dry. I felt like a virgin, like I had never kissed anyone before in my life. Whatever I had done before, it couldn’t be called a kiss. THIS… this was what qualified as a kiss. When had I slumped against this wall, lowering myself so I was below his head? It made his violation easier. He cradled my head with one hand while his other hand danced across my face. I felt his finger enter my lips next to his tongue. He drew back his head slowly, looking at me with his flannel eyes, his finger still in my mouth. I slumped there, staring. My mind was coming back too slow. “How…..?” He gasped. Now he was breathing heavy. He put a second finger in my mouth, and I unconsciously sucked them, captivated by his stare. “Let’s go.” He said, curling his fingers around my bottom teeth and pulling me off the wall by my jaw. I didn’t even care. What the fuck? The world was still gone. Oh I recognized the school, where we were. But I had no idea what time it was, didn’t care. School? Class? Not even on the radar. I followed him to his car, and he was kind enough not to drag me the whole way by my teeth. “Fuck. Sorry Tom.” He said, releasing me. “It’s…. I …. What?” That was the level of my intelligence at that moment. Just saying words. “Get in.” He ordered. Commands. I could do that, follow commands without my mind, super easy. The Army was going to get a perfect soldier. So I got into his car and shut the door, staring out the windshield trying to make sense of whatever this was. “Tom? You okay?” I heard from my left. I turned my head slowly, like some creepy horror movie mannequin. I swallowed before answering. “Yeah. Okay. I’m okay.” “I’m sorry I did that. I don’t know why I did it.” He said, going back to not looking me in the eye. “Did what? What did you do Kev?” I was still trying to grasp reality. Nothing made sense. “The kiss? Kissed you in front of English class?” Which only sent my mind right back there, his lips, my tongue, my surrender. “That’s good.” I muttered distractedly. He looked at me again. “Tom? What? TOM!” His raised voice got my attention, finally. I focused on his flannel eyes, his hair. “Your hair’s messed up.” I told him. Don’t ask me why that was the first thing I chose to consciously say to him. But in my defense, Kevin’s hair was never messed up. He always looked like fucking Tarzan. He smirked. ‘Yeah, you kinda put your hands all over it, through it, pulled it, smelled it. I thought you were going to eat some, but you didn’t.” None of which I remember. Not even to this day. “Really? When?” Now he smiled, a full smile. I remember those teeth, knew each of them intimately. My tongue came out and licked my lips. I have no idea why I wasn’t freaking out. “During what will always be the best kiss of my life.” I blinked. “Oh. Oooooooohhhhhhhhhh” my mouth lingered on the word. Finally, I grasped the entirety of what we’d done. “Oh shit.” Okay, I guess the freaking out part was just holding back a little. “Did we just do that? Like right there in the hallway?” Kevin nodded, his smile reduced to nothing. His eyes looked scared, but hopeful. I leaned back and rested my head against the headrest, closing my eyes. I sighed, thinking… at long last thinking. Maybe not such a perfect soldier, with all the thinking. Kevin waited with the quiet patience he always had. Comfortable silence. Weightless expectation. That was why. Why I said what I did. Because he was comfortably weightless there inside me. I mean beside me. Yeah, that’s what I meant. I looked at him again and smiled. “It was a fucking awesome kiss!” I laughed. He laughed too, the first time I’d ever heard him laugh. It sounded deep and throaty. “You kissed me gone, dude. I seriously left my body. I don’t remember everything that happened, I just remember living inside your mouth. I remember ever single crevice and corner of your mouth, every tooth, every bump. And your lips. Your lips. Those lips.” Before I knew what I was doing, I reached out to touch his lips. “You have no idea what you did to me, where you took me.” I didn’t feel like lying to him, I wanted him to know the truth. I needed him to know how special that was for me. He smiled, and kissed my fingers, still there touching him. “I know what you did to me, and where you took me. That I do know.” He got a little bashful then. “Um… sorry about attacking you there at the end. I don’t know why that happened. You drove me so crazy with what you were doing to me. I couldn’t take it when you let me put my tongue in your mouth. I lost it.” I moved my fingers under his chin to raise his face to look at me. “Kev? Look at me.” He did that thing again, his face pointed off to the side, his eyes looking then not looking, then looking again. “I’m not sorry. I wanted the beast off the leash, that was actually going through my head. I saw that beast inside you and wanted it to feed on me. You were perfect, amazing, so strong and in control. I didn’t know a kiss could be all that. So, thank you. Thank you for kissing me. Thank you for giving me all of you, like I gave you all of me. I never thought that was possible, but you showed me it is.” I watched as tears started to fall from his eyes. “Thank you too. Tom? I really like you.” I wiped his tears. “Yeah. I like you too Kev. In fact, I know I love you. But I’m straight Kev. We’re going to be close friends, because I love who you are, the guy inside. I like your jokes. I like your always thinking brain.” He chuckled, then took a deep breath, then looked out the windshield. “I figured.” He wiped his eyes on his shoulders. “Are you sure you want to be my friend. I’m gay, Tom. And after that display in the hallway, people are going to talk. I guess I just came out at school.” I grabbed his hand. “Only if you want to. Fuck those people, the ones who want to be mean. You don’t need them. And I’ll shut them up for you if you want.” “But what about you? They’re going to think you’re gay too. Fuck! I screwed this up so magnificently, and now you’re going to suffer.” He threw his head back, raking his hand through his hair and holding his head. “FUCK FUCK FUCK!” “Hey, hey, settle down. Get the beast back on the leash, buddy. It’ll be fine.” I really wasn’t worried. “I don’t care if they think I’m gay. You’re gay and you’re amazing. If they think I’m like you, I couldn’t be happier. “ “Really? What if girls don’t want to go out with you?” He asked. I laughed. “Dude, you don’t know girls. They’ll see it as a challenge, can they turn me straight, make me forget about dick? If I play this right I might actually lose my virginity. Some girl’s gonna want to use that pussy power.” His eyes got wide. “You’re a virgin? You?” His surprise amused me. “Yup, turns out that being a good guy makes it extra difficult to get more than a blowjob. I can’t figure out why.” I heard him snort. “What?” I retorted. “You don’t think I’m a good guy? Or was that because I’m not as smart as you?” I’m not sure I appreciated this level of honesty. He shook his head. “No. No, not that.” He grinned. “Let’s see, someone just told me something like ‘you don’t know girls’ or some lame bullshit like that.” He raised his eyebrows. I hated myself for those three seconds before my brain clicked. “Oh you fucking ASSHOLE!” I grinned and punched him hard in the arm. He started cracking up. “You deserved that.” He laughed. “And OW! Jesus. I’m gonna have a bruise.” “Good.” I said. “Look, you’re right, being a good guy probably does work against you. You probably stop when they say no, right?” He tilted his head. “Yeah, I do. I’m not going to rape anyone. If they say no, it means no.” I didn’t see where he was going with this. He paused, I watched his grey eyes move left and right between his eyelids, his lips pressed together, obviously lost in thought. “Okay.” That’s all he said. “Okay what?” I asked. “You don’t have any answers? What’s the good in having a gay best friend if he can’t give me answers about girls?” He looked at me with a suave smirk. “You can comfort yourself with a no strings blowjob from your gay best friend any time you want.” I choked , then laughed. “You shouldn’t have said that.” He suddenly looked scared. “It’s a joke. A joke. Don’t be mad.” I looked back at him, with a straight face, saying “oh, a joke. That’s too bad.” Then I gave him a wink and a grin. He took a deep breath, then grinned. “Now who’s the asshole?” “Guilty.” I said. “But look, don’t censor yourself with me, Kev. You don’t need to do that. I know you dig me. Be yourself.” “Bet you’d still make them look good.” Kevin said. “Huh?” “That’s what you said. Before the kiss. ‘Good point. The shorts are ridiculous.’ Then you paused, and mumbled Bet you’d still make them look good.” I looked at him with my mouth open. “I… I don’t remember saying that. Did I say that?” He nodded. “Yeah.” His face was serious. Concerned. “That’s why I kissed you. I thought you liked me like I like you.” I put my hand over my mouth. I led him on? I felt bad. I shouldn’t have done that. “Kev, I’m sorry. It was subconscious, or something. I mean, I’m not going to lie, you have a nice body, and you’re handsome as hell with your soft grey eyes and your Viking Tarzan hair. And yeah, if I’m being honest you’d probably look hot in those track shorts because of your skateboarding ass and legs. But I didn’t mean to lead you on, or make you think we could be a couple.” I took a breath. “So you wouldn’t have kissed me if I hadn’t said that?” He shook his head “I would have been too scared to make a move. Just like every day since junior year.” “Okay, we’re going to revisit your crush on me for over a year, and you not even saying hi. We’re going to have to work on your balls if we’re going to get you a boyfriend. “ “Yes, let’s work on my balls. You can start now.” He said dryly. One. Two. Brain caught up. “Hah!” I laughed. “You’re too quick for me, dude!” I slapped his thigh. “Alright, well while I’m sorry I led you on and gave you the wrong idea, I’m still glad I said it because that kiss was FUCKING EPIC and I got a gay best friend out of it.” I explained. “Yeah. It was the best kiss ever.” He replied , lost in thought. “ I didn’t know a kiss could be like that either. So it doesn’t bother you that I’m crushing on you bad?” I shrugged. “I kinda like it. Besides, isn’t that how gay/straight friends work? I figured the gay one always had a crush on the straight one.” “What? No! Oh for fuck’s sake. Good thing you have me. You may be straight, but your head’s not. I’m gonna to straighten that out.” So Kevin straightened out my head, with girls and gay people. I guess I knew what I was doing when I called him my gay best friend, because the guy who I thought was my best friend turned into a major prick because of the rumors I was gay, which I did nothing to dispel. Fuck him. I did in fact get WAY more action, and lost my virginity to Carol Fredericks, a sweet little blonde volleyball player. We ended up dating for the rest of the year. I came clean with her that I really was straight, to which she screamed ‘I KNEW IT!’ And she punched me like a volleyball spike while I laughed until I swore to do anything she told me to for a week. Let me tell you, that sweet little girl was a freaknasty with her leash off. I loved that. Almost…ALMOST took me to the place of Kevin’s kiss. I had a moment beyond , but nothing as deep or long lasting as Kevin’s kiss. She was the one that taught me that eating a dude’s ass drives him fucking crazy. I need to introduce Sleeper to Carol. She tore my hole up with her mouth, even had me shooting once, just from her tongue in my hole. In my defense I hadn’t touched myself or seen Carol in two weeks when that happened. I begged her to fucking rape my hole, it drove me that crazy. She kissed me right after i shot, and tasting my own ass on her tongue almost made me cum again. And I had to stop myself from letting another load go when she picked up my pooled jizz and grinned at me while she forced my own cum into my asshole with two of her dainty fingers. I still fucked her twice more, once in each hole. I liked fucking her ass, and she loved it too because we didn’t have to use a condom and I could fill her up with my nut. Freaknasty. What a perfect, lovely, pretty, dirty little slut. I guess my laid back attitude and casual acceptance of pretty much anything allowed her to let her beast out. And you know how much that gets me gone to that mindless place. If I hadn’t joined the Army, and Carol hadn’t gone away to UCLA, we’d still be together. If she’s still single when I get back stateside, I’m going to look her up. For Kevin’s birthday that March, I asked him what he wanted. With that sardonic dry tone he said without blinking. “Give you a blowjob, of course.” It was our typical banter. It was the same thing he said at Christmas. On Valentines Day. When I asked him what he wanted to do on the weekend. ‘Maybe tomorrow’ I’d say. But this time I said “okay”, closed my locker, and walked towards the parking lot. I was halfway down the hall before he ran to catch up. I finally got him. This time HE had to wait for his brain to connect the dots. I felt kinda proud. “What?” He asked. I looked at him with a grin. “I said okay. For your birthday, you get to blow me.” He stared and blinked slowly. “This is a joke, right?” I put my arm around his shoulders, and he automatically wrapped his around my waist. Like we always did. “No joke buddy. But, there’s conditions.” He was trembling under my arm. “What conditions?” “Carol’s going to be there. She’s into it. Oh, and she calls the shots. Meaning if she wants to participate, she does. You good with that?” Kevin looked uncomfortable and a little freaked out. “She’s not going to order me around, is she? She won’t do anything to me, will she?” He stopped. “I don’t have to do anything to her, right?” I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Just me, buddy. She accepts you’re gay, she’s not trying to change you. I told her you’re GAYgay, that we’ve always joked about you giving me a blowjob. She asked if we’ve ever done that, I told her no. She asked why not, and I couldn’t really give her an answer except I didn’t want to lead you on, that you deserve better.” We reached the exit, saying goodbye to a few people we knew who never cared that Kevin and I hugged, walked with our arms around each other, got handsy when sitting next to each other. One cool side effect of all this was how many other people got comfortable with male affection. I noticed the guys on my teams hugging a lot more and being more at ease with touching. Of course, it was usually followed by ‘no homo’, but progress was progress. I stopped getting shit after they learned it wasn’t going to get a rise out of me, and didn’t ruin my day. I seriously didn’t care. I was going into the Army, the rest of these chumps could kiss my ass. A couple more guys came out as gay, but Kevin said they didn’t interest him. I hoped Carol’s plan worked. I was really worried my best friend would never move on and let his crush on me go. The air was still cool, in March, but Spring was almost here. We walked across the small lawn towards the parking lot where our cars were. Kevin and I used to take turns driving each other (wait… I mean riding with each other… fuck… taking each other to school… for fuck’s sake is there any way to make it not sound like we’re fucking each other? That’s Kevin’s influence, that dirty mind filled with double meanings). So anyway, since I started dating Carol, we drove separately most of the time. Carol and Kevin liked each other, it’s just sometimes Carol and I had personal business to conduct after school before our parents got home from work. “My parents are in Dallas for the weekend, and Timmy is staying at his friend’s until they come home. I’m apparently not mature enough to keep my little brother from dying in my care, but it’s fine with them if I do something stupid and end up killing myself. So, we have the house to ourselves. Wanna stay the weekend?” I asked him. His actual birthday wasn’t until next Wednesday, so there shouldn’t be any reason he couldn’t stay over. “Sure. Is Carol coming over?” I shook my head “Nope. Not until tomorrow night, for your birthday celebration. She said I have to save it for you. I think you’re going to have to blow me twice because I’m going to cum too fast the first time for you to have your fun. Carol and I haven’t gotten together since last week. It’s driving me crazy. I’m so fucking horny. Practice and games, I get no time. Thank God this is a bye week.” He gave me that clock ticking look. “This is something you WANT to do, right?” I smiled. “Yeah bud. I want to do this for you. I think you need this. Besides, I tell you how hot you are every week. What makes you think I’m not going to enjoy it just as much as you?” We hugged before we split to go towards our cars. “Well I won’t complain. What time do you want me to come by tonight?” That was Kevin. His biggest sexual fantasy was coming true and he still maintained that comfortable, weightless attitude. Who knows what going through his head, turning through those gears. I shrugged. “Anytime you want. Just grab your clothes and stuff and come right over. I’m going to go to the store on my way home and get some garbage food. I’ll see you there. Let yourself in if you get there before me.” I climbed into my 12 year old ‘79 Trans Am, a car I thought was a ‘classic’ at the time. Ha ha. Go ahead and laugh, then go fuck yourself. What the hell did I know? I was 18. **************** It was Saturday night, THE night. Carol was on her way, and Kevin and I had spent the day trying to not think about tonight. With each passing hour, he seemed to get more nervous, and that sideways look was back. I tried to reassure him, tried to be more affectionate, but it didn’t seem to be working. We were currently snuggling on the couch watching Terminator 2, it had just come out on video and I had snagged the last VHS at Blockbuster. Kevin was little spoon, and I had my arms wrapped around him, my leg over the top of his, while my chin rested on the top of his head. He was so warm, his meaty body felt perfectly contoured to mine. My right hand lazily rubbed his left pec while we watched Arnold blow shotgun holes in the liquid metal terminator. The special effects were insane. I liked how solid his body felt. Comfortable. His hair, skin, breath, all smelled soothing. He’d always chuckle when I’d sniff him like a dog, but it always seemed to calm me and make me smile. Although we always spooned and slept in each other’s arms when we’d stay over at the other’s house, somehow this moment felt extra special. I took a deep breath. “Kev?” He waited a few seconds before answering. I could feel him tense, then relax. I was patient, knowing he’d speak when his clock gears finished whatever they needed to do. “Yeah Tom?” His deep voice came out weak, filled with uncertainty, and a little fear. “I… I love you, buddy. I don’t think you realize how much.” I took another deep breath. Softening my voice, I continued, “Sometimes I wish I was gay, so I could be the man you deserve.” I felt him tense up, so I grabbed him tighter, not letting him run from this. And then I felt him shaking. I looked at his face below me and he was crying. Crying softly, making no noise. “Oh Kev. Don’t cry. Don’t cry buddy.” I kissed his head, his neck, his jaw that I thought was so masculine. “Please don’t, you’ll make me cry. “ I kept mumbling while I squeezed him tightly to me and tried to kiss away his tears. “You can’t cry on your birthday, it’s against the law.” I tried humor. He brought his hand up to rub my forearm. “Tom?” He paused. I knew I didn’t have to answer, he would continue when he had the right words. I kept up my affectionate attention while he prepared himself. He really did smell like the best thing in the world. Like rain on a summer day. A freshly planted field. The breeze coming off the ocean. Beneath it all, him, his unique scent, a light musk that could have been a spice if you could bottle it. He hadn’t worn cologne since the day I’d told him how good he smelled without it. “Tom, I don’t want you to be gay. I mean, I used to want that, at first. But that wouldn’t be you.” He was talking through his tears, still running down his face, wetting the throw pillow under our heads. “Part of why I love you with all my heart is because even though you ARE straight, you never hold back on how much you love me, and show me that. Do you remember the day of The Kiss?” “Every single detail, Kev. I’ll never forget it.” “You said something in the car that day that I think about every day. When I feel sad, it makes me feel better. When I’m scared, it calms me down. When you said those words, it made everything all right.” I’d said so many things that day, and my exact words were jumbled in my memory between my heaving emotions , and my scrambled brain. But Kevin always remembered everything exactly. “Which part, Kev?” “You said ‘Thank you for giving me all of you, like I gave you all of me’. So now it’s my turn. Thank you for giving me all of you, Tom. You’re perfect just as you are. So perfect, just like this.” And now I was crying too. We stayed like that, wrapped in each other, letting the emotion take us where it needed to, our eyes closed. We didn’t hear Carol come in, until she stood in front of the couch. “You started without me?” She said with a grin. We both looked up at her. “No.” We said together. She saw our tear stained faces. Her grin slipped. She knelt down in front of us, her eyes going from Kevin’s face, to mine, and back again. “Hey, are you two okay?” She reached out to wipe my tears, then wiped Kevin’s cheek too. “Yeah babe.” I said, smiling. I’m sure we looked pathetic, but I didn’t care. “I’ve got my two favorite people right here and I couldn’t be happier.” I leaned over Kevin and gave her a kiss. We were just inches from Kevin’s face. I could feel his soft eyes on us. “Wow.” He whispered. I smiled with my mouth still on Carol’s, and I saw a glint in her eye. Carol pulled back an inch, opened her mouth and let her tongue extend. She grabbed my lower jaw, squeezed my cheeks, forcing my mouth open. She darted in, shoving her tongue into my open mouth and took a long hard forceful lick up across my palate and teeth. Then she pulled my mouth open as far as she could and put her delicate chin all the way inside my lips, pushing her tongue inside along with it. I clamped down, almost chewing on her jaw. She moaned. She was the first girl I didn’t worry about how big my male mouth was. If I could swallow her head, she’d let me, and would want me to. “Holy fuck.” Kevin breathed below us. This was so hot. We’d never had an audience before. And knowing that Kevin was getting turned on by it had my dick throbbing as I unconsciously humped it over his meaty ass. I was grabbing his pec and playing with it. I was so turned on. Carol pulled back again, and stuck her magical tongue out once again. Yeah, her tongue wasn’t as big and fat as mine, but it was long, almost three inches. My asshole loved every wet inch. “Suck it.” She ordered, yanking my jaw towards it. God, I loved it when she treated me like her bitch. She couldn’t be too rough, too degrading, too demanding. It excited me that her tall thin body could control my big muscular one. I learned early on that my beloved Freaknasty could take it as well as she could dish it out too, but I could never decide which way I loved it more. She was so polite, sweet, and pure in public. Behind closed doors she became the best kind of depraved whore, and she knew ALL of my buttons. We were perfect together. She pushed me away after I tried to suck her delicious tongue as hard as I could and rip it out of her mouth so I could eat it. Fuck, the things she did to me. “That’s not the only thing going in your mouth tonight, baby” the sweet tone of her voice opposed that sparkle in her eye I knew so well. I was breathing hard, clutching Kevin’s chest. Somewhere in the back of my mind I hoped I wasn’t hurting him. I took a quick moment to glance down at him. He had the most sublime expression on his face. The excitement in those soft eyes changed them. Were the darker? They appeared to be two stormy skies. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips. Those lips. Carol grabbed me by the hair to get my eyes back on her. I caught the briefest glimpse of Kevin’s patented minuscule smirk before my eyes found hers. She stroke my cheek with her soft dainty hand. Man, her fingers were so long, her palm looked tiny next to them. “Oh baby, do you want to kiss Kevin? Like you kiss me?” She cooed. “Yes” I said hoarsely. I didn’t see it coming, the slap. I knew better than to take my eyes off her. I kept my head still , taking the full power of her slap. It was a stinger, she was a great volleyball spiker after all. My ear was ringing, my face on fire. Her voice was still filled with sugar, so sweet. “Too bad, baby. Tonight’s not about what you want. It’s all about him. Tonight he gets what he wants. Tonight he gets to… how do you put it? Let his beast off the leash? You want that, right?” She stroked my face again, so tender, it felt so good. “More than anything, baby girl.” “Do you love him, baby? Do you love him like me?” Still sweet, a gentle smile on her face. “Not like you. You, I want to possess, I want to grovel at your feet, I want to control you and let you control me. I want to be in front of you so I can see you and protect you, behind you so I can hold you, beside you so I can share everything with you. I want you to hold my heart, crush it if you wish, consume it, put it in a necklace to wear, while I do the same with yours.” We hadn’t talked about this, Carol and I. None of it, which was part of the thrill. I was going wherever she led me, trusting her completely to bring out what we all needed, the three of us. And she did it to perfection. She had a gift. “Oh baby, you are so wonderful, so gorgeous in your heart and soul.” She caressed me with her words. “And the outside is even more beautiful. So hot, so handsome, all those powerful muscles that would never be used to cause pain.” She finally let go of my hair and started stroking both cheeks lovingly. “And Kevin? What about him? How do you love your boyfriend?” Kevin jerked. Her eyes and one hand left my face. She looked down at him, smiling like an angel, stroking both of our cheeks now. “It’s okay. You know we all see it, right? Your hearts beat for each other. But let Tom tell you. Baby, tell him how you love him.” She tilted my head down to look at him, his eyes had gone to soft flannel again. I felt my tears start. “Kevin, I love you like the air I breathe, weightless, here inside me, always, filling me, keeping me alive. You are a fire that keeps me warm, comforting me. I wish we could merge into one, so I could feel your weightless comfort every second of every day, know what’s ticking in your amazing brain, feel everything you feel that keeps you solid, steady, and so much more real than anything else around us.” My tears were dropping on his face mixing with his own. “Thank you for being my friend. I love you buddy.” “Kiss your boyfriend, baby. Show him how you feel.” Carol whispered. I looked in Kevin’s soft eyes, and watched them begin to dart. “No.” I uttered, soft and tender. He and I had never kissed again like the day of The Kiss. “Why? Tell him why, baby.” She knew. I had told her about The Kiss. She already knew what I would do, what I would say. “I’m waiting for the moment. The moment when he’s ready to pull me into his eyes again. When he lets go of the leash he’s put himself on. The leash I never asked him to wear for me. Let it go, buddy. Come to me, pull me in. I want you to kiss me gone. I need you to give me all of you, without holding back.” If it were possible, which I guess it was because he did, he cried even harder, from fear, doubt, from a desire he could never answer without feeling the desperation of losing me. I saw it all in those soft flannel eyes. “You would do this for me?” He whispered. And I could tell he still couldn’t grasp that this was something I wanted just as much as him. Carol had opened my eyes about so many things. One lesson I learned above all others was not to avoid trying new things, that hidden pleasures were everywhere if you allowed yourself to look. I needed Kevin to show me what sex with a man was like. I too, had put myself on a leash, wanting the experience, but needing to keep from hurting him. But he was the only man I trusted to do this with. I wouldn’t do this with any other. “I want to do it for us.” When he heard those words his soft eyes stopped darting, and they pulled me in. And the world froze and disappeared. He became the only real, solid thing in the universe, even I was reduced to nothing more than elements of more than the five physical sensations. I came back to myself carrying Kevin up the stairs to my room, our mouths still locked together. I sensed Carol behind us. I’d warned Carol what could happen, if the stars aligned just right, but I didn’t expect it to happen like that, so fast. I remembered far more than the first time, my hands and mouth exploring his entire head, smelling everything, tasting every part my tongue could find. I violated his ears, driving my tongue deep into his ear canals, both of them. I needed to know how that private part of him tasted, how it felt against my tongue. I used my lips and tongue to remove his earring, rolled it around in my mouth to suck off the bits of him that came from inside his pierced earlobe. His nose I swallowed whole, the tip of my tongue penetrating up inside each nostril, the snot from his tearful surrender somehow as deliciously soothing on my tongue as everything else I’d savored. I licked his salty tears and cleaned his eyes. I remember chewing gently along that straight, sharp jawline I’d always admired. I sucked his Adam’s apple, it was hard against the soft sweetness of his throat, feeling it jump as he moaned. And then I wrapped my overly large mouth to cover his entire throat, the feel of his blood pumping through both his carotid and jugular pulsing against my lips at the same time sending me even deeper into the nothing. Here. Here was where I joined him, that merging that I wanted. He lay beneath me offering himself as a sacrifice to my hunger, my beast. With every breath, I felt the air move through his throat, his beating heart sending his blood through his artery up over my top lip, and back to his heart through his vein across my bottom lip, throbbing heat, over and over. So strong. Steady. Solid, like him. I existed only as his blood, his heartbeat, his comfortable heat, his weightless air for an eternity. For that time, I felt like his life, and I’ve never known a peace like that ever again. I don’t know how long he fed me, but he gave me all of him, patient like he always was until I’d gotten what I needed. Still clothed, we got to the landing and I moved towards my bedroom. I spared a glance at Carol. Her eyes were wide, and wonder was painted on her face. “Tom, my God. Who are you?” She asked. I left Kevin’s soft, beautiful, comfortable lips, smiled at her. “I’m him. I have him, he’s finally here.” As I pulled him to my chest. A tear slipped from my eye, tracing down my cheek. “And now, he will have me.” She didn’t have to say it, I saw it in her eyes. “You are the most amazing man, baby. I love you.” I smiled bigger. “Thank you for loving me. All of me. Even the part of me that is Kevin. You didn’t have to. But that’s who you are, and you made this gift happen because of what you have inside you. There’s no one I’ve ever known who gives so freely, and takes so unapologetically. I love you.” “Take him in there. Give him all of you. Show him what I see.” She turned to go back down the stairs. She wasn’t worried that this would change me, or change her and me. That wasn’t Carol. In fact , she told me before graduation months later that she was wet thinking about all the ways she hoped Kevin would violate me. She wanted to watch, but wanted us to be free to do everything we wanted to, needed to. Kevin stirred. I looked down at him, his soft eyes completely still as I gazed into them. “No, Carol. You’re coming too.” He said. And then that smirk. I laughed immediately, no three second wait. I had a feeling that my brain would never have to catch up with his again. “You heard him.” I said, when she hadn’t moved. She was obviously trying to figure out if that meant what she thought it meant. “Get your sexy ass in here! Oh, and Kev’s in charge. No leash.” I had no idea what Kevin would come up with, but knowing him, Carol and I were going to experience a few new things. Carol was going to learn that even though Kevin was a virgin, his beast made ours look like cute puppies. I remembered that all too well the day he took my soul.

PrEP is recommended in the US for men who have sex with men, a term broad enough to encompass straight men who fuck trans people. You sound like an excellent candidate for PrEP. Other common criteria include multiple partners and/or a recent STI. Be conscious of the difference in risk between what you have done and what you want to do, and emphasize the latter when seeking PrEP. Since you mention frequent HIV testing, be aware of two options: 4th-generation antibody tests detect antibodies fewer than four weeks after an HIV infection. Always check that you are receiving (or self-administering, if available) a 4th-generation test. A qualitative PCR RNA viral load test detects the virus (not the antibodies) within 10 or fewer days after an HIV infection. If you've had a risky exposure and are worried, insist on this test, which is offered by any US health practitioner who is culturally competent in serving MSM. Also, until you start Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, or if you don't start, remember Post-Exposure Prophylaxis. Started within 72 hours, a 30-day course of HIV drugs (chosen by your doctor, ideally on the basis of the drug regimen used by your HIV-positive sex partner) prevents HIV infection. If you are afraid after a risky exposure, a hospital emergency room can provide PEP. It is the standard of care in the US and many other countries.