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Thanks, Opensesame. I can understand how a kid - lonely, detached, shy, naive might be taken advantage of. It's tragic and detestable, but I know it happens. I'm sorry to know that your cousins suffered that terrible violation (at the hands of a priest - no surprise there). Thus your answer would be akin to "none", in that the circumstances that drew the attention of the cleric were not innate, but part of their life experience? Again, thanks for the reply.

This is the cultural thing I've been going on about. Think for a minute - what could possibly be more "masculine" than bending over for another man's Cock? It may not be the most "butch" (sinking into today's common vernacular) thing to do, but then it very well may be. I don't think of the guys I fuck as "feminine" - if I did, I wouldn't fuck them. Even if they're on the not on the "butch" side of things, I don't think of them as feminine. To me, girls/women that act silly, think they've got gold between their smooth little legs, make brainless small talk, giggle when they get some guy to engage, are "feminine". This is the kind of thing, thrust upon our consciousness by O.R., followed by cultural biases, that has been drummed into our minds for millennia. Well, a bit off this topic - my apologies. To the posted issue, pics of guys online don't mean much at all. They're only a snapshot of a moment in time, and may or may not reflect who the guy really is. The point is, don't take the pics too seriously.

Welllllll .... it probably only means they've already jacked off chatting with you .... 😁 To the point though, I don't really care all that much about the unsolicited dickpix thing one way or the other. If it makes the guy feel hot, well - ok. Non of it really counts until the hook-up does. There's a lot of silly business on the cruise apps - much more productive to just hit the fuckjoints and dive in. I don't bother with the cruise sites anymore; too many drug-soaked guys floating around on some cloud - and I don't want those types in my home. At the fuckjoints, I don't care, but I do in my home. I can see your point, to a certain degree. It's a more idealized, conceptual definition, and that's great. Each guy gets to approach their sexual needs in the way that best suits them. That said, "respect" is something that is earned, and would imply that the two (or more) guys in question have already established that level of respect - even love - for each other. Maybe some of us have travelled a bit farther down the garden path than others, but - that's ok too. There's plenty of room for every one of us.

Great topic ! One of my chief irritations is, we're taught that the subject of "sex" is somehow dirty; the having of it, the talking about it, the sexual parts of our bodies are innately dirty and must always be covered up for the shame of being seen, how boys should sublimate their nature, how girls should act, on and on. This reticence is probably the cause of a lot of the misinformation passed along, whispered among those who have been taught to accept this manufactured "standard of shame" as The Truth. I lay the blame at the feet of Organized Religion, particularly of the Western tradition. While there are plenty of other outrages perpetrated upon us by O.R., this phony "standard" is inhuman, and deserves our disdain. While dependent on belief in magical nonsense, O.R. coagulates the minds of it's adherents into a mish-mash of hatreds, negative behaviors, and hostility. Worse, the "cure" is to count some beads, light some candles, and drop some dough. While the Reformation ditched some of the more ridiculous manipulations, the more deeply manipulative remained. What other actual "thinkers" in Western history endorse this garbage? I don't use the cruise sites anymore, for several reasons. What I do though, is hit the fuckjoints where none of the above matters a hill of beans anyway. There, the guys have only one purpose, and well beyond the reach of the queens in long dresses and ruby slippers. Fortunately, I have a fb that doesn't question his inborn nature, and in this time of covid, he and I have managed to at least keep the Lusts at bay together. What it takes to first recognize, and then overcome these cultural "norms" we've been brought up to believe in, is not only a shallow, reactive reflection of who and what we are, but a deeper consideration as well. When the shoe doesn't fit - don't wear it - throw it away.

Why would you bother doing that? If it hasn't worked any number of times before, why think that it might after the previous failures? Exactly. So, learn from the previous missteps, correct them in the future, and proceed with becoming the man you need to become. In an earlier reply, I think that "someone" mentioned that there are tons of guys in open relationships which prove enduring, simply because they're based on honesty. <<<polite cough>>> Hmmmm .... do I detect a light bulb turning on inside your head ??? There is absolutely nothing wrong with any kind of relationship, provided it's entered into with honesty, integrity, and care for the other party. Thus, the guy in the ether that has no problem with a relationship with another horny Pig - or someone like him - might be the right area for you to mine for potential relationships. Philip, you've received excellent advice from three intelligent, experienced men - SRQDude, BootmanLA, and Shotsfired - whose input is offered only in an altruistic vein. I would take advantage of these suggestions, were I you. But, that decision is yours only. Best of luck !!

Directly to the question: a) Of course not. There's never a "default" position. It's up to the parties involved to decide what the parameters of the potential arrangement will be. b )When you date a guy, assume nothing. Merely a date with a guy doesn't automatically endorse your conceptions or his. It's up to you to make the arrangements together. Your prior assumption is not a valid one. c) "I don't tell people this at the start ..." And you're surprised when they find out? Why would you be surprised? d) "I don't want to have the exclusivity talk too early ..." In a relationship, it's not all about what you want - it's all about what you can give. Alleviate that potential by being upfront in the first place with the guy. If I were you, I'd take however long it took to think through what I really want. Ask yourself some questions: 1. Do I even want (what you consider to be) a "relationship? Do I want to be tied down to just one guy? I know I've cheated on prior guys, and will almost certainly continue to get "outside" action. Trying to be someone I'm not will always "bite me in the ass", one way or another. 2. Do I like the idea of having a monogamous relationship (i.e. someone you care about, respect, all of that) and expect him to be true to the agreement, while I continue to get fresh action? Figure out who and what you really want to be. Need to be. Then, be that guy. Trying to set yourself up in an arrangement that you most likely won't keep isn't fair to yourself or the prospective relationship, and likely won't be long-lasting. Maybe you should consider a relationship with a guy that's just as attracted to PigSex as you are. There's no reason that kind of relationship cannot last, as long as the crucial component of any relationship - honesty - is the corner stone upon which the relationship is built. There's nothing at all wrong with whoring your ass, Breeding tons of Holes, sucking off Cocks, whatever turns your crank, as long as you're honest. Tons of relationships thrive in that context. Be honest with yourself first, which will enable you to be honest in a prospective relationship. Figure it out.

Well ..... maybe I'm not up-to-date on this issue. Up until just now, I've always thought BBC = BareBack Cock - no racial implications at all. Am I wrong? I'd very much appreciate any replies, since I've made it a practice for many years to stand up to and reject racism against anyone - man, woman, gay, straight, whatever.

Exactly. The time for any negotiation has passed, the guy is willingly taking your raw Cock, and if there is no communication from the bottom before the Cock goes into that final, irretrievable spasm of BreedLust, then the Hole has tacitly agreed to taking the load. It's happened to me a few times too - the bottom starts off with "breed me deep", etc, etc, and then when it's already too late, he changes his mind ??????? That's total manipulative Bullshit.

Well said. Those terms connote female genitalia, which is the very last thing that should be applied to men. In the case of trans/cross dressers (hope I didn't inadvertently leave anyone out) guys, sure, they would apply, regardless of surgeries, since they identify with being female. Calling a man identifying as male either of those terms is hardly appropriate. Just because we fuck each other doesn't mean we get to denigrate each other. Every person gets to choose how to identify, and that should be respected.

Well, I can only speak for myself, but - of course we Tops are "sluts", in the sense that we rut in multiple Holes, Breed as many as we can, as often as we can. I think the term "slut" derives from males describing so-called "loose women" a long, long time ago, and thus extended to gay male bottoms who perform the same function. The same would apply to the term "whore". But, in fact, it can and should apply equally, across the board to men, women, active, passive, and any permutation in between. Now. Because of that assumption, some Tops would rebel at being called a slut or whore, merely out of an inaccurate perception of themselves. That said, if I run into someone I know (outside of my sexual proclivities), and they say something like "hey there, you slut", I just say "oh - thank you". It's a little (very little) bit like African Americans "taking back" the racist vulgarism with which they are all too often demeaned, put down, marginalized. In general, if anyone uses those terms in a derogatory way, they're just jealous of our freedom to be the men we were born to be. Talk is cheap - it's behavior that counts. It's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm - without all the blather.

For me, once that frat brother brought me out freshman year*, I jumped in with both feet. I found out about a LOT, and quickly. In the dorm I lived in, I was walking down the hall, another guy whose door was always open, with a large picture of his "girlfriend" just inside the door for all to see, was also walking down the hall just in front of me. He paused, when I caught up, he put his arm around my shoulders with this sweet, silly smile - which stunned me momentarily. That was the second time I sucked a Cock, and the first time I fucked a Hole. From then on, it was off to the races. But even in a small, religiously-affiliated midwestern college, I discovered that there were guys fucking other guys everywhere. It turned out that there was a gay guy who was "student manager" of the student union, the basement of which was off limits to everyone (except him). On certain nights though, he would open the basement door, and that info was passed by word of mouth. So a kid that sucked me off once, invited me. This wasn't a very large building, and it seemed like there were dozens and dozens of guys down there, sucking each other, fucking each other, kissing each other, and THAT was my first experience of group-sex. At that time, condoms were only used when fucking girls, so everything was raw. It was fan-fukkin-TASTIC !!!!!!!!! *described in an earlier post

Wow ... obviously at that tender age, it was probably unfair of that man to offer his Cock, but - he must have recognized some certain something in you, and couldn't resist. I've often wondered if young gay kids who aren't even aware of their sexuality yet, give off some kind of signals - unknowingly - who they will grow up to be. I can't say I agree with what the man did, but in your case, it seems he not only did you a favor, but the rest of us as well. Maybe I was so oblivious when I was a kid, I didn't recognize subtle cues? I don't know - maybe I was just too much into kid stuff to recognize? In any case, I'm happy for you that you found yourself earlier than later !!!

On the whole, neither do I. When I went away to undergrad, one of my frat brothers brought me out, so that would put it at 18, I guess. I'm glad he did me that favor, and I've told him so. Once the religio/cultural bullshit was peeled off enough to think clearly, I plunged into the pool with gusto, and never looked back.

Davidc, you and I are two peas in a pod. The only reason I put "vers" Top in my profile is occasionally I will allow a Cock in my gut, for one reason only: I very much enjoy "connecting" to the "universe" of raw Breeders*, and once in a blue moon that opportunity presents itself via a Cock up my gut. I don't like anything about the physical sensation, and only a modestly-hung guy has so much as a whisper of a chance to fuck me. In all these years, I may have allowed it perhaps 50 times. During these covid times, I do have a fb who isn't swinging a "porn-cock", we like each other, trust each other, he likes to fuck and get fucked, and for some reason he likes my ass - so I allow it. Fair is fair, I guess. We don't "love" each other, we're friends trying to get through the pandemic together. I too experience the commentary about being too assertive. However, I always listen and make the effort to "see" other's viewpoint as well as put forth my own. There's a circle of gay friends that get together often for lunch/supper/other events (I haven't fucked any of them), and while I'm pleased to listen to other's perceptions on some issue, they seldom persuade me. *if that's too esoteric a concept for some guys, that's fine with me - I don't mind - it's the incapacity / unwillingness to consider other's perceptions that irritates me.

And I hope you don't give a rats ass about them. They give you what you (presumably) need, and you give them what they need. Purely transactional. Nobody needs "frenemies" like that. Next time you see these "friends", jut out our chin, throw back your shoulders and ignore them. They'll be back, as soon as they need good Hole,

One quick observation: If cumdumps do absorb a disproportionate share, then they deserve to. It's cumdumps who are reliable, not like some trick in the ether. It's the cumdumps that only serve, without a lot of carrying on. It's the cumdumps that feel the commitment to their calling more deeply than a casual bottom. But, I've been barking up this tree for a while, so ..... I'll let it go with this.

I meant in your area. Of course online contacts are usually too far away to be productive.

There's an RC orphanage/facility for homeless boys/whatever, in Woodstock, IL (just west of Chicago) that has had a reputation of corrupting boys en masse for decades. One of the raw porn stars (not sure what the name is) even mentioned it by name in an interview. And the joint is still there, churning out used, injured, harmed boys (or, in some cases, burgeoning raw porn stars) for decades. Personally, I think they must be part of the "supply-chain" for all those Queens in Rome, prancing around in their long dresses and ruby slippers. First, the "graduates" are sent to the bishops, then the cardinals, then the arch-cardinals, and finally the Vatican itself. After all - can't send inexperienced boys to the Vatican, now can we ........

So Philip ... I think that "compartmentalizing" our sexual lives away from "the rest of our lives" is what many of us try to do, at least initially. I'm glad to know that you have (apparently) substantial experience in slutting. That would imply that you've accepted that needing/wanting a lot of raw Cock pumping Seed up your gut is something you've come to terms with. But why mention it in the past tense? Are you saying you've decided that whoring around is something you no longer need or want to do? Chances are poor that it would, since once men like us taste the "forbidden fruit" we seldom get our fill and only want more and more. When you tell your gay friends you took a dozen raw Cocks in one night, I doubt your friends are shocked or disgusted; more likely, their Cocks get hard for it too. Taking a dozen loads off different Cocks may define your sexual lusts, but there are many other areas of interest in a well-balanced life, sex being an important, but hardly the only one. Sure, there is such a thing as "addictive behavior";, it can be productive or unproductive. Smoking cigarettes is addictive, and probably prove unhealthy. Sucking fresh Cock can be addictive, just like taking loads off numerous, anonymous Cocks can be addictive, and may (or, probably) result in some unpleasant bugs. So do we attempt to expunge our sexual addictions, or try to mitigate the potentially negatives, and continue to feed that addiction? It sounds like you're either developing into a "whole" man, comfortable with who you've become and trying to come to terms with guys from before you did, or perhaps trying to figure out how to move beyond them, fearing their "disgust". It's difficult trying to juggle two separate "identities" - one as a sexual Pig and the other as something you may not be. More, it's not necessary, and wasteful of our energy. Friends either accept us as we are, or not. What really matters is that we accept ourselves as who we really are, and move forward, confident in our wholeness. Since you are (apparently) drawn to whoring, maybe even addicted to wanton Breeding, far better to accept and revel in your Lusts, than try to be something you're not, and only for the sake of what others might think of you. For some of us ..... It's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm

Neither do I ... usually, when I see a fellow pig at the grocery store, we just exchange a hint of a smile ... he knows what my Cock does, and I know what his Hole does ...

It depends on if I have to go to a "respectable" meeting/appt/whatever with business people, service providers, whatever. On those (fairly rare) occasions, boxers. Usual "everyday" wear is Commando - but then I'm not swinging a porn-cock either. I just like the feeling of swinging free. For cruising the darkrooms, a steel cock-ring as well as 501's. I like when other men check it out.

100 % Correct !!! TwinkSlut24 self-identifies as a "cumdump", and that fact alone deserves to be respected. I don't know what the gay community in general things about anything - all I know is what I think, and that is: Cumdumps are to be upheld for their dedication to their service, regardless of how much they love giving their service to any man that needs it. These aren't just gay men who bottom; they're committed to service, have likely weighed the potential outcomes, and render their service despite them. If the gay community in general looks down on a cumdump, I would lay that blame on them, since they aren't secure enough in their own sexuality to uphold the dedication of cumdumps. It's easy to point the finger, less easy to realize the finger we point usually should be pointed right back. As to the "addiction", perhaps the adrenaline-rush when a Cock shoots up their ass? More likely though, the rush of satisfaction in knowing they've fulfilled their function - again. I don't assume to have much knowledge though. What I do know is, cumdumps are a most valuable addition to our particular corner of the sexual world. It's all about Cock/Hole/Sperm

I rather doubt it's an escape mechanism. Some guys tend to feel cooler, some warmer, particularly if the one complaining of too much body heat is producing plenty of his own. Depending on how "comprehensive" you define cuddling (i.e. full-body, arm-around-him, a leg crossed with his, etc) maybe just a sheet covering both of you would solve the problem. As it happens, I've always been on the slim side, and get cold easily.* My guess it that it's not at all an emotional escape mechanism, merely a reaction to a heat-source that's a bit too hot. Sadly, I have no experience with cuddling/sleeping with a guy that runs "too warm". On the other hand, maybe you've exhausted the other guy by fucking the daylights out of him, and he only needs to "recover" for a while. Cuddling is great - inhaling the guy's scent - holding his body - it's part of the post-mating ritual - so I hope you get it solved. *even living in SoFL, if the temps get down to the mid-70's, I need jeans, t-shirt, sweatshirt to be warm enough !! Lately, we've had a cold-snap (below 70 !!), and I had to go get one of the insulated leather jackets and a pair of Wescos out of the closet 🥶

May I mention that all life excretes waste. Insects, animals, all living thing creatures piss and/or shit. It's a biological function of living. Eat, shit, repeat. Love, on the other hand, ranks far higher on the scale of life. It's emotional, rather than biological. It's a conjoining of humanness, which, in my opinion, is far above merely a biological function of necessity. More, how that capability to love is expressed varies widely in focus. Love is not something we earn, it's something we consciously and gratefully accept, and then return-in-kind. In our corner of the sexuality world, some of us feel "meant", "born to it", "the need to follow our nature" and fuck each other, and hopefully find a partner that embraces a similar view. I see it as perfectly natural, wholesome and satisfying.

That you are, young man ... there's this thing called an air-conditioner ... make it colder, and drag that guy back under the covers with you !!!😇