tallslenderguy

Hi KptNLine, great topic. 1. I learned about chastity online, porn. But I really learned about it from different Doms who want if for their sub, or from awesome subs like you who have experienced being locked. 2. My attraction to it is the extremity of submission to a Top or Dom. In my mind, the stronger the opposites, the more powerful the experience of attraction, so for me chastity represents an opportunity to experience the benefits/attraction of two opposite forces. 3. I haven't actually had what i would consider a sexual experience in chastity. i've locked myself, and even had a long distance relationship with a Dom who had me measured for a cage, but have not been in a relationship where i have experienced sex while in chastity that i was locked into by another. 4. i have some pics of my in a cage, the reactions have been mixed, a few indifferent. 5. i am currently unlocked. For me, self-locked is unsatisfying (to say the least). For me it is an expression of relationship and requires two people. I have a whole drawer full of toys that i almost never use because it feels to much like i am topping myself to use them. Same with chastity, it's only 'real' for me if there is another involved locking me in. For me, the actual cage is symbolic or representative of something much deeper. 6. any goal i would have with chastity would be related to the goals of the Man locking me in. i don't currently have that kind of Man in my life, so no goals.

I haven't read all the responses to this yet, but i doubt you'll find many, if any, dissenters on this site lol. I couldn't possibly agree more as a bottom. For me there is something almost spiritual about having not just your cum inside of me, but your orgasm, your pleasure. It makes me crazy to even see guys pulling out in porn, or wearing a condom. If i see a condom on a guy in porn, i turn it off. If i sit through watching a top fucking only to see him pull out to shoot last minute, i actually get angry and start talking to the screen berating him for pulling out, then i feel disappointed for the bottom. For me, Top/bottom, Dom/sub are yin and yang, the attraction of opposites, pulling out is like a crime against nature.

for me, the best fuck is from a Top who's head is into it (not that i ever mind a blow and go). I love a Top who is really into bottoms and hole and particularly marking His territory. For some Tops, opening a hole is about leaving His signature on the bottom, and I fucking love that. My favorite Top is one who loves bottoms, not just himself. I can tell because He becomes one with the hole He is penetrating. Whether He uses Hic cock, hand or a toy, all are an extension of who He is and how He leaves my hole is part of His fuck.

awesome SlimTop, this definitely takes sex to a whole different level. one tip i can give that really turns me into a bitch in heat is when i can tell my Top is fucking intentionally. I know that may sound odd, but i can tell when my Top is fucking just for him to get off and when he is fucking because he wants to make me cum. There's a power thing that happens and he is now going past my pussy and into my head, fucking there. engage my head that way and you're gonna get an orgasm.

oh yeah, happened to me only a few times, but the best orgasms of my life without a doubt. The first time was with a guy who knew what he was doing, but I didn't have a clue. I was younger and he was purposefully working my hole and prostate with his fingers. It was the first time anyone every tried to get their hand in me. At the time, i had no idea such things were even done and i would never have consciously allowed it, but he was good and was slowly opening me up. I was on my stomach and when he went for 4 fingers, i literally rose up and turned around and said: "what are you doing?" He withdrew his 4 fingers and calmed me and instead slid his cock in. It only took him a few strokes and suddenly i erupted with the biggest orgasm of my life. It shocked the hell out of me, like the first time i ever came as a kid, but damn did i love it. It was years later that i realized that was his intent. Another time happened without any real work on the tops part at all. I was in a restroom and a guy slid in under a stall wall, but he must have hit me just right because i shot really hard almost as soon as he slid in. if it were up to me id always and only cum from getting fucked, it's and awesome mind fuck for me and i love the thought of a Top having the power to make me cum as a bottom.

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Oh hell yes! Once i discovered mind fuck, everything else was just mutual masturbation. Connecting bodies is hot, connecting mind and body is heaven. There's so much inaccurate connotation associated with D/s (i think), for me, it is attraction of opposites. i had a very experienced Dom tell me that i am one of the most sub guys He has ever met, which surprised me because i am not that experienced. i think a lot of self professed Dom guys would disagree with Him because they equate sub with "easy." For me it is not easy at all, but magical when the chemistry is there and it happens.

i think this is such a great point. Despite how we may sometimes feel, bottoms like they are "just a hole for breeding" or Tops who are 'a cock for breeding,' the truth is there is so much more to all of us. Even though we may think we have reduced our need/want to a thing, there's usually a lot more to it. Though it may be counter intuitive (or more likely, counter stereotype), i have been fucked by guys with big cocks who were really lousy at what they were doing, and i have been fucked by guys with tiny (and i do me "tiny") cocks who turned into fb's because the experience was awesome for both of us. If the rationale behind wanting a huge cock is how it feels, the reverse is true as well (i.e., the bottoms whole is so open that the Top needs to have a huge cock to feel it). For me it is not the size of a Tops cock that matters, it's the size of His orgasm (and i am not referring to load size). For me the best sex is a dance of yin/yang where each is responding to and fueled by the other. For me, the bigger a Tops pleasure, the bigger my pleasure.

I thought of something else. I avoid the temptation to vent in a profile in an effort to weed out flakes or just complain about them. I wonder about the guys who do that, whose profiles have teeth in them, just what kind of response they get? I personally won't even approach a guy if he has an obviously angry profile. I appreciate the guys who put hard qualifiers in, like "no one over the age of...." To me, that just saves time... though i have been hit on by guys like that on more than a few occasions, them breaking their own list of musts. Generally though, I avoid guys whose profile reads like a hugh shopping list thinking that is a flake waiting to happen.

This is a great discussion, and I can ditto so much of what others have written. Mostly i think it's closeted guys, married or just not secure enough in who they are to act on it yet. I suppose there are a few who simply get off on the fantasy, but my feel is most guys would tire of that and want the real thing eventually, so maybe it's a stage? Like some have alluded to, cruising at an ABS or restroom or place where guys are already present vs online is one way to get around this. Over time, i've even had some regular flakes from places like CL, guys who forget they have flaked on you and go right into their modus operandi. I come from a religious background and there are times when i get flaked on when i am paranoid enough to think that the guy flaking is maybe a religious nut trying to frustrate gays lol. The worst flakes are the ones that go right up to the point of getting your address, but then never show. It's as if their whole goal is just to get your address. One of the things I have taken to doing is telling a hookup the cross streets where i live and then tell them to text me when they get there and i will give them the actual house address, explaining i do it because of flakes. I've never had a real hook up turn me down, but pretty sure I've weeded out a few flakes that way.

Re restroom, that's pretty easy too. The standard initiation is tapping your foot and the guy next to you taps in response. Some guys like to slide over and touch feet if they are unsure, others don't. Guys boldness runs the gamut in my experience. i have experienced where a guy will just slide his cock under without any preamble. Just like the booths, have your ass lubed and ready. i used to slide off the toilet and have my ass more reachable between the stall wall and toilet. Guys will reach under and feel you up, so if your ass is lubed, they'll get the message and if they wanna fuck will often slide their legs and cock under and you sit on it. I've gotten a lotta loads that way. Sometimes you have to initiate by reaching under and feeling them up, going for their cock to show what you want. I've even passed notes, but if you do be careful. ABS buddy booths are safe for sex, restrooms are sometimes patrolled by undercover cops. If you pass notes, that can be used as evidence against you.

I know this is not what you are referring to, but the one time i felt assaulted was when i was arrested in '98 for cruising an undercover cop in VA. They always chose hot looking guys for vice and they would go to known gay cruising places and cruise, it was total entrapment (which they no longer do). We had a full on exchange and when I asked the guy if he wanted to fuck me, he arrested me. The law was a 100 year old sodomy law and it was a felony. It took a year to come to trial, and it cost me a lot of money. At one point the arresting cop actually apologized to me. The judge laughed and reduced it to a misdemeanor, indecent exposure (even though there was no exposure involved, just talk). I've had sex with well over 1000 guys, but that is the only time i ever felt assaulted.

Ditto. Your sex life and how you choose to live it is not a doctors call to make. That doc is seriously unprofessional. He's a healthcare provider, not a god. fuck that and him. edit: Scott, that a doctor would tell you that pisses me off to no end. If you see another doctor like that, tell her/him that they need to stop breathing or touching because they can get an infection that way. They have no right to use their power that way, it's disgusting.

Hi FunCollegeTwink, Yeah, your explanation makes sense to me. I'm really curious to understand the emotional disposition behind chasing. While I have never had the desire to get HIV (though i am poz and fine with it), I am pretty much like a bitch in heat sexually. I use that comparison on purpose, because the drive to get bred seems that intense for me when I'm 'in heat' lol. I have wondered if as bottoms many of us are not wired similarly, as though survival depended on getting pregnant, like a bitch? I've also wondered if the drive to get pozzed is a sort of emotional version of getting pregnant? A lot of guys refer to getting pozzed as getting "knocked up," so i know a lot of guys are making that connection. If gays are an evolutionary variation, it doesn't seem far fetched to me that we might have drives mixed in us that are left overs from a survival drive.

I confess I do not relate to chasing at all, I get no thrill from the idea of getting a disease. I don't see it as "ridiculous" or "selfish," i just don't relate. I do wonder though, since you trace the reason for your desire to risky sex, what happens when/if you become poz and it's no longer risky behavior?

i'm a bottom. i have never sabotaged a condom to cum inside a guy, but i have sabotaged a condom on a top so He would cum in me.

I've definitely evolved sexually. I've never been a size queen, actually a really huge cock is more likely to give me pause than a smaller one (but just for a second). I used to care about looks, but that hasn't been a factor for me for many years now. Now, if i am looking, i'll take whoever wants to service. i look at it as a matter of maturity, but that is just my opinion. The only guy that gives me pause is one who wants to be endlessly served with no intention of cuming. I'm divided on that, because obviously He is getting pleasure, but there seems to be an instinctual part of me that is frustrated if my top doesn't orgasm. i feel like a failure if i do not bring my Top to orgasm. Size is not even on my radar screen when it comes to sex. Cock, or body size for that matter. I used to have a fb (before moving) who cured me of body size bias. He was really large, likely over 300#, and he had a very small cock, prolly not bigger than 3 inches (no exaggeration on either of those). But I really became fond of Him. Most of my sex is anonymous, and it was with Him too. I am usually waiting face down and naked, my favorite position of vulnerable and available. He'd always straddle my thighs, my legs closed, and penetrate me while He was in sitting position. i was always surprised by His skill at being able to get in, fuck and breed. He always left my hole creamy and obviously enjoyed breeding me. That's enough to make me fall in love lol.

I agree and think it's great. I'm a healthcare worker and know that ignoring treatment can put one in a state of deteriorated health the the point they are dependent on others to care for them. I don't ever want to get to that place if i can help it, i cherish my freedom and independence.

I think this is true. Though things are changing, social standards are set by the straight majority. One could argue for monogamy and relationship with sex if the goal is to build an environment to raise kids (though i think one can argue against it too). But how does that argument apply to single or gay people who don't have kids? The only issue i can see with anonymous sex is STD, but i do not think monogamy is the answer to STD's. I think removing the stigma associated with sex is the answer. If people were not shamed for having sex, they would not feel embarrassed or ashamed about getting treated for STD's.

Ive been hooking with guys for 34 years. I've been with well over a 1000 men sexually, but had never slept overnight with a guy till this year. Not that i have never gotten to know guys that i have sex with, but the vast majority of my sexploits have been anonymous. I started out when still married, hooking in restrooms through GH's and under stall walls. It wasn't that i preferred it, but i was closeted and on the DL, so just worked out that way. Even after divorcing though, i find most of my sex has been anonymous. My favorite is anonymous walk in where i am lying face down and never even see the top who breeds me and he only sees my back. I've even had regular fuck buddies who i have never seen. Sex with men has been very separate from social interaction, a huge difference from what straight people mostly have where sex is part of a complex social agreement.

I wouldn't put ABS and sex clubs/baths in the same category. For me, they are very different experiences. I encounter a lot less 'shopping' at ABS and more sex. I guess if we had a dark room in Portland OR that might be different? As it is, there is the visual element at a bath/club, so rules of attraction kick in for many. At an ABS, i typically do not leave a booth the whole time I'm there, lots of GH sex, which often turns into a shared booth, but always initiates through a GH. I also think the guys who frequent ABS are more likely to be 'straight' or Bi, but more closeted... guys who would not go to a gay club because they do not identify as such or want to be identified as gay. I think there is something about the neutral anonymity of a ABS that attracts a very different guy. Not unusual for me to be sucking or getting fucked by a guy through a GH while he watches straight porn. I've never seen straight porn at a bath house.

I find that I like guys who like sluts... since i am one lol. Seriously though, i was the same way, pretending not to be a slut when i was. Then for a while, i went to the opposite end of the spectrum where i flaunted it, now i am just comfortable with who i am. i feel like guys who slut shame are often not the kind of guy id wanna associate with anyway. As to "sloppy holes," i definitely have an opened hole from years of use. i have muscle control, so i can milk, but access is absolutely easier. I don't think tight or sloppy loose is really the matter, but texture and friction. I guess that is affected some by pressure, but i think viscosity has more to do with it.

A Burger King rest room. Not that getting fucked in a restroom is all that "strange," but the whole circumstance of it. I was driving down the street in my beat up pick up truck and a guy pulls up in the lane beside me and glances over. Our eyes meet and he pulled ahead of me and then pulled in my lane in front of me. I followed. He turned off the street and parked in a BK parking lot and walked in without ever looking back. I followed. He went into the restroom. I followed. When I walked in to the restroom, he locked the door behind me, undid my pants and pulled them down, then pulled his cock out, bent me over and slid in. I was dry, so he added a little spit. He came inside me fast, put his cock in his pants and left. Never a word spoken between us. Damn, i love men.

Interesting observations. i have some rambling observations that are similar. i too have found aps to be more successful in remote areas (really remote though). I have hooked from grindr with one guy in 3 years where i live. I was traveling out in the remote parts of Oregon and stopped at a hotel in a tiny town (<5000?) and got 4 or 5 hits on grindr that night. It's a challenging prospect (i.e., developing a hookup site), there are so many factors: looks, position, ability to function, fetish/kinks... the list seems endless. Maybe do something like OKCupid, that matches people based on their answers to questions? Sort of a pre filter? If you eliminated or reduced the process of finding a match, that might be a winner? I live in a smallish town (pop 50k) that's 10-20 miles from other somewhat larger towns (100k). When i lived in larger cities (1m+), sex was pretty easy. In larger cities, CL used to be a great hookup site for me. i never posted on M4M, but always on "casual encounters" and am pretty sure that most of my hookups were with closeted guys or Bi guys. So, the population (i.e. "supply") was greater. I think it's the old issue of supply and demand. Aps have increased supply, and thereby reduced demand. I think the vouching idea is a good one. Or maybe a flake ID? One of the issues we all have is flakes. Maybe have a followup where you could verify that you actually hooked? The problem with having a way to identify flakes and such is that those can be abused by guys who want to knock out the competition. In the last year or so, i have pretty much gotten away from the net for hookup. i may go there to get horned up, but not to actually hook. When i want sex i go to the local ABS. I have never left without at least one hookup and usually get 4 or 5 if i hang a couple of hours. I can spend a whole lot more time than that online and get nothing but flakes. I also go to sex clubs, but find that guys are pickier there than at ABS. I attribute that to the population. I think at sex clubs most of the guys are gay, at ABS you get the closeted or Bi guys on their way home from work or looking for a quickie at lunch. At the sex clubs i run into a lot more tops who do not want to cum so they can draw out the experience... edging. One last rambling thought. If you could make a site (or section of a site?) that removes the issue of looks, that could do a lot. Maybe even call the hookup site: "The Dark Room." A lot of us have gotten to a place where we do not care about looks. When i am horny, if you have a cock that works, i want you. I work out, tall slender guy... it's important to me to be as attractive as i can, but I'm a slut and don't care what my top looks like.

Yep... me too (i.e., only used it once as a bottom). I also tried fucking it and was totally disappointed and can't imagine doing that to a top with my ass. It was a cool idea, but the idea didn't really translate. I will confess to using it a few times with a dildo when fantasizing K9 though, it does have a knot.