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Alright guys. I’ll try to be as detailed as possible. I’m about to turn 30, not a Prince Charming but I often get people telling me how good looking I am. I’m 5’8, 180lbs, average to muscular body, white skin, big lips, blue eyes and hazel hair. The thing is, no matter how independent, successful and “good looking” The BB allay scene is always on my mind. 24/7. - I have considered to go see a psychology to check whether I should look for help or not. The place I live (Miami, FL) is the most superficial and snobby place you could be. Guys in sex apps are always looking for the most ripped bodies, the biggest asses and the super fat big cocks. As I mentioned, I look good but the competition here in town is pretty heavy. Since the tops are rare down here, every time the urge of some kinky fun crosses my mind i pack, book a room at Days Inn in Fort Lauderdale and head out. And that is exactly what I did yesterday. I left my place around 5pm but before leaving I made sure to change my BBRT location to Fort Lauderdale as well as posted an ad on the ad session. Fort Lauderdale is SO SIMPLE and EASY. By the time I got to my hotel room I had received over 12 messages. All types of guys. I typically go for either undetectable or PrEP guys though I was so horned up that the “no fucks given” button was on. I took it all. Sunday night, around 6:30 the first guy come in. Not a monster cock, white fit average 6 inches but he had a five day load so no better way to start it off that party. He got in, ate my ass like a champ and started fucking me. Lasted for about three minutes until he shot inside. I could definitely feel his warm load inside up my guts. He left, I brought weed with me so as soon as the first guy left I smoked some to keep myself on the whore out mood next guy, another white man. Much bigger cock. Typical North Carolina man. On his 50s. One of the most beautiful cocks I’ve seen to date. White, cut, around 8 and according them 6.5 girth. That man was hungry and he fucked me good. Last time I had had a cock before last night was about two weeks ago so I was pretty tight. He was so into it that as soon as his fame his hole body had little spasms from time to time. Onto the next one. That was a buddy of mine. Totally fucker who lives in the area. Latino, beautiful shaped thick cock. One of those guys that definitely know how to fuck a hungry hole. We spent some time together. He fucked me on fours, missionary, in front of the mirror, on the couch. The other two loads were so big that we could hear how sloppy and wet my ass was. He shot inside and left. Next... this was a catch! Temessean guy. Visiting. 6’4, around 190 pounds, bi according to him and new to the gay life. Huge feet and typical southern white cock. 7.5 super, extremely thick, one of those you’re proud to call beer can. He wanted me to ride him, so I did.... SO MUCH CUM DRIPPING OUT FROM MY HOLE!!! That man was rock hard. Going nuts and deep in me. I remember feeling it all that jizz leaking down through his cock. We did feel a connection in between and decided to trade numbers. He will be back in town in a week or so so hopefully we can connect again. One of those cocks you want to keep it close. The next guy on that night was a super chub, with a 6 inches cock. The next was another super chub, sleazy looking. Three day load. He did his job and left pretty quick this next one was handsome. Like very handsome white dad. Beautiful body, beautiful cut thick cock. But I’m oretty sure he was high on meth. Those tiny tweaked eyes said it all. I haven’t ever done tina in my life but maybe you guys can tell me? His cock was super soft but then I started sucking it and he got rock hard, like extremely hard. I didn’t ask anything but he was hungry for that ass. Fucked me deep, loud, hard, no shame. It felt like that man was born to fuck. it was already 2am or so so I decided to go to bed and set my alarm to 6am so I could catch that crowd who likes to drop some loads right before work. Another post on BBRT. Less messages back of course so I decided to try Grindr. For my surprise I had this black guy really close by. He offfered, I couldn’t say no. 8x6 cock, huge feet, slim and tall. Although I douched that morning I still had some fun left right there deep. He loved it. Fucked me like he hated me. Deep, it reached places that the other guys didn’t. Shot his nut pretty quickly and left them after him I had a couple, one poz another negative. Nice cocks, I’d say one 8 and 4 girth the other 8 by seven. It was massive ! Next man was probably high as well. Couldn’t keep his eyes open and rock hard cock all the time... I was about to leave the hotel at 1pm and it was 10:30 so I needed to rush. So I sent a shout on GROWLr. Got literally 50 messages in 10 minutes. Could only get two guys from there the first, a tall beautiful muscle bear, white blue eyes, average cock but a total whore in bed. Licked my ass, my soles, are the guy left in my crack and fucked the hell out of me. The next one was also from GROWLr. Daddy on his 60s... total fucker. Not a big cock but definitely experience makes all difference. He fucked so good that my second hole was totally open by there. So opened that the soreness had disappeared in a blink of an eye. No more success on GROWLr so back to BBRT. I don’t even waste my time with Grindr anymore. It doesn’t work. Not a success in Miami, not Fort Lauderdale or any other place I’ve been. Grindr is back and forth all the way and no meeting at all. Back to BBRT... got a couple of messages there. It’s funny because the more loads o get inside the bigger the cocks I want it. So my goal for that last hours at my hotel was to have my ass filled up by heavy thick meat. I then started scrolling BBRT and unlocking my profile pictures to all guys with either a Large or Holy shit type of cock. It didn’t take long until I started receiving some replies back. I was lucky because the lunch time was approaching so guys were looking for ass... the last two guys of my journey came together. A daddy on his late 50s, poz look, humangous cock. (Another observation, most poz guys carry huge cocks... anyone know why?) it was easily 9.5 long and 6 or 7 thick. I’m a power bottom but trust me that dick was a struggle ! I was a bit high on weed and sniffing poppers like a hoe and STILL, it was painful. The other guy was a muscle bear with a pretty thick dick. I assume somewhere around 7x6 or 7x6. They both take turns, they went deep, hard, made me moan uncontrollably, once my second hole was right there opened I could’ve taken all cock sizes, even fists. Totally not into fisting but the hole was wide open. They eat it, fuck it, dropped their loads inside like two hungry pigs. The huge cock guy asked me if he could piss inside and all of sudden my dick got rock hard... he saw it and I didn’t even need to respond his question. Put me on fours, ass really up, started pounding my sore swollen hole until he shot his cum. As soon as he did, he was like... don’t move don’t move... he stayed inside for around five minutes then suddenly my whole intestine was getting full with piss. It was one of the hottest things I’ve ever done sexually. The feeling of having my sloppy hole that full with piss made me so slutty... they left, I showered packed and head out to home this afternoon. Back to return to my “regular” life at the office tomorrow. I have a very young looking, kinda guy next door, no one can say a big of whore I am... I have my prep appointment on Wednesday so this time I am sure an STD will say hi but to be honest as bad as they are my whole adventure was paid off. Here is a pic of my ass for you guys Hope you guys like it

Part 17 - Back To College Angelo was feeling quite sad that Ethan was going back off to college, he had got use to him being around and love chatting to him during the day from the office. But today Ethan was going back to a somewhat normal existence and studying 5 days a week, he came down the stairs after breakfast fully dressed with his books ready to go. Adam arrived on cue at 7.30am, Angelo kissed and hugged Ethan not wanting to let him go but finally he released him and Ethan opened the car door before looking back at Angelo 'Love you' he called as he got in the passenger seat. They hardly seemed to be on the road very long as Adam parked the car and they walked over to the common room and cafeteria as they had some time to spare before lessons started. Adam pointed to a large table telling Ethan to sit down whilst he grabbed coffees. Javier came in and stopped seeing Ethan sat there at the table, he also noticed Adam at the counter. Ethan glanced up trying to hide that he was looking at Javier who was acting as though he wanted to come over and say something but instead he turned and took a seat at the opposite end of the cafeteria. Javier's brother walked in and watched him sitting at a small table in the corner, he shook his head and seeing Adam he went over to join him at the counter. They chatted and wandered back over to where Ethan sat, Adam introduced Juan as they sat down, initially Ethan felt a little out of place with Adam and Juan as they quickly caught up about the last few weeks. Juan then started questioning Ethan and including him in the conversation, Ethan couldn't help but seeing Javier in him until his gaze averted across to the entrance as Ben walked in behind a small group of students. Instead of going towards Javier he went in the opposite direction and sat down with some girls from their class. "Don't worry about him" Javier noticing Ethan's eyes wondering to Ben. Ethan looked at Juan "What do you mean?" he said quietly. "Javier has been told not to socialise with Ben" Juan responded. Ethan sipped his coffee "Why is that?" he asked Juan. "He is a bad influence on my brother and also what happened in the Diner" Juan looked at Ethan nodding. Ethan had a surprised look on his face "Never thought that everyone would know". Juan laughed "It has been the topic of conversation the last few weeks". Ethan looked down embarrassed "So everyone knows I am gay then?". Juan put his hand under Ethan's chin holding it up "Yes, but no one is judging you". Ethan smiled "You are quite the charmer Juan". Juan smiled "Don't get any ideas, strictly girls only here" he laughed. Adam re-joined the conversation "My mother put word out about the lunch episode, but everyone knew anyway it got round very quickly". Juan nodded "And I.. lets say just had a little word with my brother about his attitude". Ethan looked back at Juan "You mean towards me?". Juan nodded again "I made it clear that loosing friends like you is not the best way forward". Adam and Ethan were in the same lecture for the morning and headed out of the cafeteria towards the classroom. The walk was unusual for Ethan as many students now said hello to him, whenever Adam spoke to anyone they looked at Ethan and greeted him by name as well. Adam would quickly summarise gay or straight with a little background, the short walk to lectures had revealed 3 more gay students in that space of time. They took their seats together in the classroom then Ethan spotted Franco coming in and sitting at the back with his group of friends, Franco was the same age as Adam but he was built like the proverbial brick house and sported some tattoos on his neck and hands which most of the teachers deplored and made him sit at the back. Surprisingly though he was very well educated and smart but played it down a little. People mostly clung to him as they didn't want to be on his bad side, his reputation as a bit of bruiser if anyone annoyed him made them all worship the ground he walked on. He was from White Plains the next town over but his parents sent him to Harrison to be educated due to the college's reputation of turning out scholars. Adam turned to Ethan and quietly spoke "Makes me orgasm every time he walks in the room". Ethan burst out laughing and Adam play punched him on the arm "You are such a slut Adam". Adam leaned over "Tell me you wouldn't if you had the chance". Ethan smiled and nodded "But I have my Latino god. Do you know Franco?". Adam shook his head "I think he would probably punch my lights out if I spoke to him". Ethan laughed and nodded in agreement "Yeah your probably right". They struggled to keep their focus through the first lecture as it droned on and on, but they both diligently took notes and breathed a sigh of relief as the bell rang at midday. Adam and Ethan sat outside for a while until a rain cloud threatened to expose itself so they headed towards the cafeteria to grab a coffee. Ethan paid the cashier as they hunted for a quiet table to sit and chat, being lunchtime it was pretty full but they spied a couple of seats at one of the larger canteen style tables. They chatted away about the morning lecture oblivious to everyone else but it was Ethan who spotted Franco sitting opposite them on the next table. Ethan never meant to but he looked and made eye contact with Franco, he quickly averted his gaze hoping he didn't get noticed and focused on Adam, his eyes kept darting behind Adam and every time he found Franco starring at him. Ethan leaned over to Adam "I think we better go". Adam looked questioningly at him "What is wrong Eth?" he replied using his new nickname for Ethan. "I accidentally made eye contact with him and now he is starring at us" Ethan responded. They both stood trying to be as casual as possible chatting and not making eye contact with anyone. Their exit from the cafeteria complete Adam laughed whilst Ethan's heart was pounding in his chest, he leaned back against the wall and laughed. "I don't want to get on the his bad side on day one" Ethan said not realising that Franco had followed them. "Whose bad side" Franco remarked. Ethan turned "Oh fuck" he spurted out and clamped his hand over his mouth quickly to silence himself. Franco looked at Adam "Disappear" he said to Adam. Adam shook his head and stood his ground "No, I have promised to look after him". Franco laughed "You his bodyguard then?" mocking Adam as he said it. Ethan put his arm in front of Adam "Listen don't want any trouble with you, sorry I looked at you in there". Franco looked Ethan up and down "Why did you look at me, do you like a bit of Latino?". Ethan shook his head "Sorry I didn't mean to you were just in my line of sight". Franco laughed and told his group of friends to disappear "Come with me" he said to Ethan and Adam. They pushed the doors open to the cafeteria and walked over to a table where Franco told them to sit. Like two obedient puppies they sat down on the opposite side of the table. A few of the students watched eagerly wondering what was about to take place. Ethan wanted this over done with "Can we just get this over with whatever is it you want". Franco looked at Ethan "Got somewhere you need to be then?". "Yes I do" Ethan said in a determined manner. Franco was definitely amused by Ethan's change "And what is so important that you rush for... your lover?". Ethan stared at Franco "My life is my business, what do you want?" he spoke having had enough of Franco's game. "You don't look scared of me Ethan" Franco remarked as he leaned on the table. Ethan shrugged his shoulders "Should I be?". Franco smiled "No you don't need to be, neither of you need to be" he said nodding at Adam. Ethan kept up his brave appearance "Did you think I was eyeing you up" he said brazenly. Franco laughed "You have a thing for Latino's or did you just fall for one?" he said loving his little game. "How do you know so much about me?" Ethan asked his voice slightly shaking now. "Pretty young boy aren't you, Angelo never imagined he would land someone like you" Franco replied grinning. Ethan looked at Adam and back to Franco stunned "You know Angelo?". Franco nodded "He is my cousin, I work with Angelo during the holidays at his company" Franco replied.". Ethan shook his head in a confused state "I don't remember seeing you there". "No I came in and out quickly as I was on a job, but I recognised you straight away" Franco grinned at him. He continued "When Angelo realised I was at the same college he asked me to discreetly look out for you both". Ethan still sat shaking his head "Why didn't he tell me?". "He didn't want you think he was spying on you or anything" Franco replied to Ethan. Ethan and Adam both relaxed and stayed chatting to Franco for sometime before Adam realised the time. As they walked to the car Ethan turned to Adam and said that he could now see the resemblance between Angelo and Franco. They drove out of college and parked up at Mel's Diner to grab coffee with their mothers before they headed back to Larchmont. Life at college took on a whole new perspective and the weeks just floated by as they settled in to their routines, these now included meeting their mothers a couple of times a week and also lunching with Franco several times a week. Javier stayed well clear of Ben and neither of them was talking to Ethan, a couple of times Javier had almost tried to talk to Ethan but he soon realised that he was never alone long enough since his circle of new friends had grown. The long summer days were changing in to cooler autumnal weather and Ethan was again having problems getting in to his clothes, for a young 18 year old his body had changed through all his working out with Angelo and Adam. He stood looking in the mirror amazed at how his biceps had grown, Angelo walked out of the bathroom in to the bedroom and stood smiling at him. "Do we need to shopping?" Angelo said standing behind Ethan. Ethan looked at Angelo in the mirror "I guess so" he turned and kissed Angelo "Off to the mall then?". Angelo patted his ass "Absolutely, how about dinner at the Marina tonight?". "Just the two of us, Saturday date night?" Ethan fell back on the bed looking at Angelo holding his arms up. Angelo laughed "Yes just us" he pulled Ethan off the bed "Later, get dressed". Angelo knew what Ethan wanted to do instead of shopping and laughed when Angelo hauled him off the bed, he kissed him and found the tightest t-shirt he could find whilst Angelo booked a table for 8pm. Ethan sent his weekly text to Sofie and finished up by saying they were dining at the Marina and he would see her on Monday. Sofie walked around Harrison with her mother reading Ethan's text and debating weather now was a good time to try and get things patched up in the family, she persuaded her mother to stop at Mel's Diner for a drink. Sofie took a slurp on her milkshake and looked at her mother "Had a text from Ethan this morning". Ellie put her coffee down "What is he up to this weekend?". "Out shopping for clothes and then he is out for dinner with his boyfriend at the Marina tonight" said wistfully. Ellie looked up "Marina hmm, your father knows his boyfriend you know". "So I heard, you haven't met him yet have you?" Sofie said putting down her milkshake. Ellie smiled she knew what her daughter was up to "Are you saying that your father and I should dine there?". Sofie nodded "Maybe it would be a good idea". Ellie picked up her phone and booked a table at the restaurant "Maybe it is the only way". "I promise I won't tell Ethan and you must not tell him I told you" Sofie said looking at her mother. Ellie sent a message to Jack 'Dinner at the Marina tonight just the two of us', Jack stood on the tennis court and smiled reading the message and sent a reply 'Great idea'. Sofie's job was done she knew her father had calmed down a lot and was hiding worried thoughts about Ethan as he would not speak to him still, she had overheard many of the conversations her parents had behind closed doors. Sofie waved them off as the taxi arrived to take them to Larchmont for dinner. Ethan and Angelo were sat in a quiet part of the restaurant ordering their dinner. Ellie nervously stood outside the restaurant waiting for Jack to pay the taxi, they both wanted to have a drink and Jack was looking forward to a relaxing dinner out with his wife. Jack not one to pay attention to other people never saw Ethan as they passed by some 5 meters away, Ellie glanced in their direction following Jack and the waiter to their own table, she saw that Ethan was deep in conversation with Angelo and never looked in their direction. She ensured Jack was positioned facing away from Ethan, Ellie on the other hand sat down and was facing them some 6 tables away. She would bide her time and allow Jack to get relaxed, on the other hand she couldn't help but get distracted by Ethan's boyfriend and glanced whenever she could thinking how attractive Angelo was, Latin, tall and very well built with dashing looks, well Margarite had been right about something at least she chuckled to herself. Angelo and Ethan closed their menus and handed them back to the waiter ordering desert, Ethan caught Angelo looking away again for about the hundredth time that evening. "What is it, you look distracted?" Ethan asked placing his glass of water down. Angelo returned his gaze "Promise me you won't turn round if I tell you?". Ethan laughed but then went serious "Maybe but it depends". "There is a table over the other side, the woman keeps looking at us, and the man..." Angelo glanced at the table. Ethan kept his gaze fixed on Angelo "The man what?". Angelo shook his head "I can't quite see him but I am sure I know him, she's ordering have a look". Ethan turned his head and studied the restaurant "Oh no". "What?" Angelo asked looking at Ethan. Ethan's head went down "My parents are over there". Angelo laughed then smiled "Oh so I do know the man then". "Do you think they have seen me?" Ethan said looking worried but mildly amused. Angelo smirked "I think your mother knows, but you have to face this Ethan". Ellie turned to her husband "Have you spoken with Ethan yet?". Jack handed the menu to the waiter "No he won't return my calls or texts". "Are you worried about him?" Ellie held her husbands hand. Jack looked out across the marina "Yes but no, I know he is in safe hands". "Will you make an attempt with him and his boyfriend if you had the chance?" She asked looking at him. Jack turned to look at her "If he will speak to me". "I know it is nothing we have done Jack, it is who he has become now" Ellie quickly glanced at Ethan. Jack sighed "I suppose I could speak to Angelo but we left things a little awkward between us". "What is his boyfriend like Jack?" Ellie asked him. Jack resumed his gave over the marina "Certainly not your stereotypical gay guy, I got taken in by him". Ellie laughed "He must be good person if he got through you". Jack smiled "Yes, I suppose he is a nice person". "You won't strike out again at him?" Ellie asked. Jack's smile disappeared "I think Angelo will hit me if I do. When he is ready we can talk". Ellie smiled "Be the father you should be Jack, go and at least say hello to him" she nodded over Jack's shoulder. Jack turned his head and saw Angelo sat with Ethan in conversation "Do they know we are here?". Ellie nodded "They have just realised we are sat here". Jack sat motionless after turning back to face Ellie, he was conflicted about what to do after all the last time he saw Ethan he had hit him and thrown him out. One thing he didn't expect to see this evening was Ethan with Angelo, it was hitting home hard. Everything Ellie had told him about Ethan doing okay in the big world with the man he loved came flooding back. Underneath he knew that whatever may be, he couldn't just ignore him and had to at least make some effort to start communicating with Ethan properly. He looked at Ellie who sat there watching him and poured him another glass of wine "Think about what you want to say, don't just go over without a plan" Ellie said putting the bottle down. Jack bided his time and allowed Ethan and Angelo to finish their dinner first. He placed his napkin on the table and stood up seeing Ellie smile he turned and walked over towards the table as Angelo caught his eye. Unmistakably he saw Angelo give a little nod as he got closer. "Angelo nice to see you, Ethan how are you?" Jack nervously spoke standing in front of them. Angelo stood up and held out his hand "Jack great to see you". Jack shook his hand without hesitation and looked at Ethan who stared ahead "Ethan can we talk?". Ethan looked up worryingly "I guess so, pull up a chair". Ethan did not feel afraid of his father but he knew that he was cornered into talking to him, and he also knew that Angelo wouldn't let him get off so lightly now his father was in front of him.

Worst thing I ever did to a last minute flake (and yeah I do feel a bit bad about it now) There was a bi guy in London when I was visiting, wanted to fuck me, I need to keep it discreet though ok? My girlfriend can't find out. Fine, I'll be discreet. We swap pics, including crucially his face pic. Later that afternoon I travel for an hour across London and I arrive at his place when suddenly he cancels on me. An hour of travel and I'm right there outside the door of his apartment block and he's like no can do sorry. I was beside myself with anger. A couple of minutes later, coincidentally, a woman leaves the apartment building, and I think right, fuck it. I smile at her and try to politely ask her if she knows this guy - show her his face pic from my phone, tell her his name's Mike. Oh yeah, I know him... well I know his girlfriend really. Well I say you tell Mike that escort rent boys don't like being called up then cancelled on at the last minute! Turned tail and stormed off, leaving her to make whatever conclusions she wanted to. God knows what happened next but this was one flake I definitely blocked! I was so fucking angry!

I live in a city (Leeds, UK) that is kinda notorious for flakes, no-shows, cancel-at-the-last-minute (with a shit excuse) or go silent a few hours before we arranged to meet. So I can get pretty ruthless at times - if its a grindr quickie and they started to back out i give them 10 minutes to man up - and I tell them this. I never block a flake - if he contacted me, he must've thought I was hot and fuckable. Not blocking him means he still sees me on his grids (grindr, bbrt etc) but i will never reply again. Sometimes I even send him naked pics to wordlessly suggest: here's what you missed Recently one guy who wanted to fuck me and load my ass in his deserted office backed out at the last minute. Then, hang on maybe I can. I said right, you got 10 mins or i'm done. 20 minutes passed and suddenly he's back. My reply: Time's up - C ya. I landed another random fuck off grindr less than half an hour later. I was in his area again today, and guess who messaged. Still wants me, it seems, but cancel-at-last-minute flakes only get one chance. For me, integrity is important, in every part of life, including this one. If you contact me in advance saying you can't make it, sorry etc, it's fine with me. Cancel at the last minute and you never hear from me again, and I have a near eidetic memory for this kinda thing.

Just got back from a meeting in London. I slipped away early and vsited a sleazy gay cinema near King's cross. It is small and dark and normally full of old trolls wanking off to the movies. You can stand at the back and pretty much do what you want as the management never seems to down into the screen room. It smells, and the floor is always slippy with cum. I descended the stairs and went into the small theater which has about 20 seats. It was unusually full with a number of guys standing at the back. They were all middle-aged or older and watching a tall, thin black guy of about 50 or so who had his trousers and pants down and was jacking off a long, smooth cock. I opened my fly and dragged out my cock and rubbed it hard. The black guy flashed me a grin and beckoned me over. We jacked each other for a while and then I bent over and sucked his dick which was drooling pre-cum. I noticed the men around me start to get their cocks out. The black guy started feeling my arse and I undid my belt so he could push my pants down and expose it to his probing finger. I stood up and let my trousers fall to my ankles. We kissed and then he turned me round and I felt his cock pushing between my arse-cheeks. He bent me over a seat and spat on my hole. I felt my heart start to pound and then he pressed some poppers under my nose. I was lost. My head swam and I felt my arse-hole open as his cock slid in me - bare. No question of condoms. It was deep and smooth and I groaned as he fucked me. The men clustered round, and I was surrounded by stiff cocks. I took one in my mouth and felt horny old fingers spreading my cheeks so they could see the cock sliding into me. After a while, he bent over me and I felt his hot breath on my ear. "You're a dirty slut, aren't you?" I could only nod in reply. "I wanna see all these men fuck you" he whispered. I shuddered and reached for his poppers and took a deep sniff. I heard him chuckle and then his cock left me. I looked over my shoulder and saw him beckon to a fat old man who had taken off his shirt and dropped his pants. His cock was fat and white in the gloom. The old troll waddled over and I felt his cock nosing into me. I panicked and tensed up, but the black guy fed me more poppers and whispered "Relax, baby. Go with it. You know you want it, don't you?" The fat guy was in me now, huffing and blowing as he fucked me. He didn't last long. Before I knew it, I felt him throb and my arsehole went wet with his sperm. What had I done? He pulled out, and the black guy held my shoulders down. "Who's next?" he whispered. And then another cck slid up me and I felt myself letting go, giving myself up to it as the second cock spurted in me. As a third one slid up me, the black guy bent and whispered in my ear. "You're really fucked now, baby. When he's done I'm going to fuck you too and give you my gift. Welcome to the club"

A few weeks before Tumblr died and went to conservative shareholder heaven, there was a Dom Top guy who asked on his blog if anyone had had sex which was non-consensual but also not rape. I knew immediately what he meant, and I think that headspace does exist because I've been there. there have been times, particularly if I'm face down, ass up, or in a group of tops and dom guys who just start to rut at me - and stop giving a fuck what i want because i'm just a couple of fuckholes to them - where it's gotten so rough or aggressive I want it to stop, but I can;t revoke any consent because I cant speak or they're not listening. Or I';m tied up, gagged, whatever. so i just kind of surrender to the moment and wait for it to finish, brace myself in to minimise the damage and ride it out. i am no longer consenting, but i recognise i'm here til he, or they, decide when they're done. And I am paradoxically fine with that, even though i want it to stop now. it's a strange headspace. it's kind of fucked up during, and it hurts, physically and emotionally, but afterwards, once i am free again, i get so boned about it and glad it happened, and glad i took it. this has happened to me a lot of times. I;ve also been actually raped a few times but that's a whole other story, and tbh, no regrets there either.

Last night 12 of our closest friends came over for some fun at our play room. In the menu was me, my holes and anything goes, as long as it’s hard and rough ? i was immediately put in position (doggy) and had cocks in both ends and was fucked rough and got 6 loads, then the boys took a quick break for drinks and greet some more guys that arrived. After a quick break the fucking resumed and boy, was I in heaven!!! I was fucked HARD and rough, Double penetrated, fisted, buckets of cum in my pussy and down my throat cause most of the guys came at least 2-3 times, drinking piss and also got pissed all over. I was so exhausted at the end of the night after being used for nearly 5 hours my bf cuddled me in the play room, making love until we both fell asleep with him inside of me. Heaven! I don’t know the exact count of loads (I should really start counting better!) but my guess is something between 30-40 ??

Horny, hungry cumslut eager to serve. FtM cumdump loves to be used and abused like a faggot pig. Hosting in East Oakland Eager to serve suck and swallow. Bring a friend or ten. Kik _Cool_Hand_Luke

aspieboy - You sat that you only infrequently act upon your frequent urges, but you don’t really explain what the reason or obstacle is that prevents you from doing so. The title of your thread suggests it has something to do with “acceptance of your role”, so the issue sounds as though it might be more psychological than situational. If you’d care to provide a bit more detail, we may be better able to advise you.

As I write this, I see my BF Thad deep in thought of work, while my brother is sleeping with a face of contentment after spending four days at MAL. My brother Jess took maybe 30 loads and almost took Fred's fist, but Fred did not want to push it anymore. Fred told my brother to stay in the sling as Fred cleaned up. At 70 years old Fred is in great shape as he comes out of the bathroom with a raging hardon with a P.A. he goes right up to Jess lays his dick on Jess hole and smiles and pushes in balls deep. Jess is smiling, and if Jess were not in chastity, Jess would have been exploding. After the puppy mosh pit Jess ask for my credit card as he wanted to do a little shopping, that was a big mistake on my part. When Fred was fisting me, Jess was on the bed next to me, and a few friends were fucking him. I was so proud when after taking a load Jess turned around and offered his ass to the one he was sucking their dick and cleaned the dick that just came out of his ass. That weekend I saw Jess become what he said he wanted to become a PIG, I saw him in the bathroom being used as a urinal as any PIG would do. Back to how I think I was POZZED. Fred was right about my hole soon being filled up as I was introduced to 2 Nigerians. They are both skinny, maybe 6feet but it what between their legs has me drooling. They are flaccid but WOW just hanging has to be a beer can in diameter and 11 inches long, I wonder what they will get if I inject them with Caverject. The country of Nigeria is the worst place to live if you are Gay. If you live in the North, they kill you. If you live in the South, they put you in jail. Nigeria has one of the highest levels of people who are HIV. In Africa the HIV-2 strain most have as in North & South America and Europe HIV-1 is seen more. We talk for a few minutes, and at the age 15 their family moved them to Germany and being Gay there is like being heaven. They want to party, and so do I, so I get so Molly, Tina points and shards and Caverject for them. Looking at there dicks it's like a PIG going to heaven knowing that they will soon be in my holes. The first one I ask if I can inject the Caverject into his dick. I wipe the area off with alcohol stick the needle in and push the plunge in when I withdraw the needle there is a little blood, so I lick it clean, as the other Nigerian has slammed himself. I now have 2 Nigerians with monster dicks loaded with Caverject, slammed and the fun begins as they take my arm and slam me heavy. If I had not been with Fred before they would have split me open as it feels like I feel like I'm being fisted again. The fullness of their dicks in my holes and the amount of cum they are producing is putting me in another world. As I'm face to face with the one on his back and his dick in my ass the other Nigerian is behind me starting to put his dick in my ass, and it feels just like being fisted and since they both have P.A.s it one of the few times I feel them in my hole. For the next two days, I was their fuck toy, and the loads they shoot are massive. I like licking the cum up and I see blood in it sometimes but the only thing I have on my mind is getting slammed and fucked by them. Like me, Thad had been missing his PrEP and parting like a rock star and taking every raw dick he could find. Around Chrismas, Thad was not feeling great running a fever for two days, and it was over for him. We were planning to go to a New Years Eve party, but I started to feel funny, and by New Years Day I was sick running a fever, body aching and just like total shit. By the fourth day of this and the fever over 101 degrees, Thad called a cab and took me to the Hospital. In the emergency room, the nurse starts to ask me questions. Do I do drugs? Yes What drugs do I take? When I say Meth, Molly, GHB, Ketamine, she was thinking like blood pressure meds. Then she changed the questions. Have taken any of the drugs IV? Yes Do you practice safe sex? NO When was the last time I had unprotected sex? 10 days ago The nurse takes blood from me, and I put into a room that I was in for five days till they had the fever under control, and I started to feel better. One of the things I was not aware of is my boys as they put me on the scale and my weight was 100 LBS. In the mirror, I was nothing but skin and bones with ribs showing. I know I was over 120 LBS. months ago so I lost close to 20% of my body weight. The doctor came in and informed me I was POZ and gave me the name of a Doctor to see who treats people with HIV. I told Thad I was POZ, so he went out and got tested, and he is also POZ now.

This couldn’t be stated more perfectly. I’m Cuban - and I get tired of being hit up all the time by guys in search of a specific stereotype and scripted experience. Yes I speak Spanish, yes my family are immigrants and yes i’m a totally oversexed horndog....but I’m not your papi, I’m not gonna shake my ass like Ricky Martín for you, and I’m not some horse-hung baseball player with a huge, dark uncut club who’s gonna fuck you into next week. Enough already. Being Latin or Black or Asian or Middle Eastern doesn’t make us all picturesque stereotypes to enjoy whenever you feel like adding a little flavor in your sex lives. We’re real folks with real jobs and real lives and we’re looking for the same things as everyone else.

Hey, Rawslutz! Yesterday, despite the bitterly cold temperatures and recent snowstorm in Toronto, I decided to haul my daddy ass to the FukdTo bb sex party at Club120 from 4-8 PM. I got to the Club at 4:30 and some guys were there already. No much action yet. I must agree with Felching Pisser that the fuckmaze is AMAZING (pun intended)! Tarps were hung and are pretty easy and fun to navigate. Holes to stick your cock in or get fucked are spread out all over the fuckmaze. A sling was set up in one corner, a fuckbench was positioned on the opposite side of the fuckmaze. Guys on level 2 could see and jerk their cocks what was happening downstairs. I was told by the organizer that the fuckmaze is up ONLY for the last bb party of each month. My guess is that it takes the setup crew a long time to set up these tarps due to rentals of the club before and after the FUkdTO bb sex parties. Oh well, such is life. Guys, you gotta come to Toronto to experience this FUkdTO bb sex party with its slings, fuckbenches, and fuckmaze!! After being out of commission for a while, I wanted to blow a big load I was saving and have some raw fun. I stayed until around 7 PM. Here's who I met: 1. An acquaintance -- a big bear of past parties has been after my daddyass to break it in. I did douche thoroughly before and was ready to be vers yesterday. Well, he got his wish to open up my hole. He opened it but didn't come in me. 2. I met a tall black guy with a great dick. He was off to work but told me he already came in someone. I love how his dick fucked me in the past. He said he was a one-hit wonder. I hope to get his load next party. 3. There a white-haired bottom parked on a fuckbench in the fuckmaze. My bear acquaintance said for me to fuck his ass. I fucked him for a bit, a bit tight for my wanting. 4. In the fuckmaze I met this amazing younger Columbian guy. He told me that Columbian guys love to fuck bareback. His boyhole felt amazing. I fucked him in the fuckmaze. He's a fellow slut who used to love vanilla sex only. Upstairs I met up with him again, fucked him for a bit. He invited me to taste the loads in his boycunt. He pushed some out and I kissed him with these loads and his ass juices. He kissed me deeply and was playing with my nipples. I felt myself getting closer to cum. I told him I was about to cum, he turned around ass up, I went back in and could be the joy and relief of me spurting in him. He grabbed my ass cheeks and wanted to stay in him a bit longer. I love doing this! 5. Another young guy saw us. He too was from Columbia. Both of them talked in Spanish for a bit. I took the second Columbian's hand and wanted to rim and fuck him for a bit. I thought I could give him a second load. But for me, either it happens or it doesn't. Well it didn't. He said to me, "Next time, Papi!" and kissed me on the lips. I really get turned on by South American men, as well as Mediterranean guys and South Asians too. 6. I did get cruised by this young tanned guy I met at Steamworks some months before. He was really. I got to kiss and lick his boycunt a bit. He kept grabbing my hard daddycock. I felt him up, his whole was slick. I was right up against his boycunt lips about to go in when he left. Oh well, I'll see him again, I hope. 7. A black older man with a curved thick dick did come over to fuck me. He did fuck me before. My hole just could take the head this time. He noticed he couldn't go in any further and went off to fuck other guys. 8. I met a younger, Greek guy, who has a bubblebutt. I want to eat him out (I have a fondness for bubblebutts!). But he said he was a voyeur ONLY, no sex. I thought WTF!? In my thinking if you're a voyeur and no sex kind of guy, you're missing out on all the bb sex around you. The guys yesterday weren't as picky, more sluttier (the kind I like). A lot of new faces and asses and cocks. The FukdTo bb sex parties are Toronto's little gem on this side of the Atlantic Ocean. Well worth the visit and experience!!

Got some sloppy seconds last night. I stopped by my buddies house, only to discover he had a trick still there from earlier in the day. My buddy is 50, and the trick is some married 32 yr old that likes to get fucked occasionally. He was hairy, chubby, and had a beard, and that's 10/10 in my book. So my buddy walks me into the bedroom, and I waste no time getting naked and under the covers with both of them. I know my negative buddy loves barebacking as much as I do, so I'm not surprised when I start rubbing the tricks hole, it's got cum inside and out. Instant hardon for me, so I maneuver to get in spooning position, and soon my cock is rubbing his wet hole nice n steady. My buddy starts sucking his cock, and I slide in raw and give him a slow steady fuck, rubbing his nipples as I do. After about five minutes he says he's cumming, and I feel him clamp down on my cock like a vise. Oh man that sent me over the edge and I began nutting my strain in his ass deep. I kept stroking his ass until my cock plopped out, then pushed him on his belly so none of my cum would run out. I fingered him slowly for a while, doing my best to give him a few scratches inside so my load would take. Sadly, he had to get going before I could fuck him again, but he said he loved being our bottom pig so maybe I'll seed him again.

Part 50 　 I made it to work the rest of the week alright. Took my meds as prescribed. In the evenings, which I spent mostly alone, I thought about what the heck I had done. Hank came over to talk a couple of times, mostly just hi and regular talk. He always had on shorts and I always had trouble keeping my eyes off of his crotch, knowing how good that could make my whole being feel. 　 Friday night came and I knew this would be the toughest test so far. I started to stay home and then decided to go out anyway. Went to my fav. bar and ran into some old friends. They were all kidding me about being gone so long and I told them it was only a couple of weeks. 　 It was kind of a nice time, seeing and talking to my old friends. A couple of times, women we knew stopped by and at least twice it seemed like they were hitting on me. I was interested, somewhat, but just didn't feel quite right about them after last weekends goings on. I still felt an attraction and kind of wanted to 'sample' the goodies offered, but did I really want to or just a longing to go back to...what? 　 As the night wore on, more and more of my old friends hooked up or called it a night. Soon there was just two of us left. Both of us had had more to drink than we should have. My, last friend standing, I knew had had too much to drink to be driving. He was married and lived quite a ways away, too. I told him he better not be driving home. He was out of it and didn't argue much. I told him I was calling his wife and tell her he was going to sleep it off at my place. She was upset when I called her, but thought it was really nice to have a friend like me to help out. She just wanted his butt back home with a good explanation the next day. LOL. 　 I got him loaded into the car and we were soon back at my place where I helped him in and he practically collapsed on the couch. He was still awake but I don't think he had any idea where he was. We talked a bit, or I should say I talked and he mumbled, then I headed up to drain my bladder. In my bathroom, I could hear noises, again, coming from next door. I leaned in and sure enough, they were definitely fucking over there again. Seems like every weekend. I listened for a bit and decided it had to be Hank drilling the ass of some guy good. My own cock stood up as I heard them. Damn, got to quit listening. 　 I didn't move away though and finally could tell for sure it was Hank when he spoke up good and loud that he was cumming and going to POZ that guy's hole but good. I just smiled, knowing what that guy was feeling and my own damn cock jumping around as I heard them. I then, said to hell with it, and went into my bedroom and got my clothes off and some pjs on. I started to climb in bed when I decided I was thirsty and headed down to the kitchen to get some water. As I was getting it, there was a knock on the door. I was pretty sure who it was, but answered it anyway. 　 There stood Hank, naked like normal and his cock standing at attention, even after the fucking he had just done to some guy a few minutes ago. He just grinned, when I looked up finally, and told me he knew where my eyes would be when I opened the door. We both laughed and then I remembered about my friend in the other room and whispered to Hank that we had to be quieter. 　 I crossed the kitchen and took a peek into the livingroom. My friend was sitting on the couch with his head back and I don't think he heard anything at all. Hank was looking over my shoulder and asked who that was? I told him about going to the bar and meeting up with some old friends and this one, married, was too drunk to drive home and had asked him to stay the night and sleep it off. Hank just laughed quietly. He knew what that was like. 　 Hank told me he had better get back over to his place as he had three guys over there wanting some pozzing tonight. He left and just as I was headed up to bed, I heard my friend, get up off of the couch. I stopped to see what he was doing and it looked like he was about to get sick. I grabbed him and the closest place was to the backyard and we barely made it before he was down in the grass and heaving his insides out but good. I stood and kind of watched out for him for a bit before I suddenly realized we had company and turning found three guys on the picnic table watching and all naked as the outdoors. One of them was Randy and he immediately got up and came over to offer assistance if I needed it. I told him it was just an old friend who had too much to drink. He laughed good. 　 My friend didn't want me to help him up yet, so I decided to go back inside and finish my drink of water. After downing my water, I headed back outside to get my friend up and in the house and tucked in for the night. I was completely caught by surprise when I found him bent over the picnic table, pants at his ankles and Randy's huge cock pounding away at his hole. 　 I ran over and asked what the hell was going on? I told them he was a married man and didn't do this kind of thing. Randy just grunted and laughed and told me it was too late now, as he had just cum in him deep. My friend was passed out and had no idea at all of what had just happened to him. I was panicky. What was I going to tell him or his wife or what the hell was I to do? 　 Randy just told me he thought he had wanted it as when he had got up from the ground he had dropped his own pants and took a piss and then had bent over the table and was out. His nice bare ass was just too much to ignore. With Randy's hvl, it was probably in his bloodstream already. What to do now? uch to pass up. I took one look at my friend's ass and knew he was probably in trouble as there was cum and blood showing all around his hole. With Randy's hvl, it was probably in his bloodstream already. What to do now?

PART 12 The next day I was just wrecked. Besides my hole being super sore from all the cock I had taken at the bookstore, even my legs were sore from holding myself up so long. That didn’t stop me from jacking off thinking about what had happened in that 90 minutes or so I was in those booth. All of the guys had been hot older guys with big cocks and every one wanted it raw. I had done my best to keep all the cum inside me. It seemed important to have it soak in. And then there was the last guy, Ted. He had been the hottest. And he seemed to really like fucking me too. He had even given me his number. By the second day, I was feeling a lot better and by late afternoon I had looked at that phone number Ted had given me enough to have it memorized. I was so nervous but I kept repeating how amazing his cock was and how his cum shot so hard I felt it. His cum. His hiv positive cum that had been shot into once already after three other guys had wrecked my hole. But he was so sexy. And confident, as if he knew I wouldn’t be able to resist him and his giant poz cock. Isn’t that the world he used? Poz. I knew it was dangerous. I knew I shouldn’t have anything to do with him. But by 430 I was calling him. He answered on the third ring. “Uh hi, this is Chris. I met you at the, um, at the bookstore like two days ago.” I said, as nervous and awkward as could be. His tone changed from the gruff hello he had answered with. Now in a smoother gentler sexier voice he spoke back, “ I knew I would here from you. My new little 18 year old bareback bottom. You want to come over now don’t you Chris?” I was rock hard, even though I was also embarrassed to be called out like that. Still, I answered, “yes, really badly.” I could almost sense his grin thru the phone line. “Why do you want to come over Chris? What do you want? What do you want me to do to you?”, he said in that low voice. He was gonna make me say it. “I... I want you to fuck me again. Like the other day.” I whispered. “You want me to cum in your hole again dont you Chris? That’s what you are really hungry for isn’t it?” He had me. He knew it and i knew it. I was only 18 and totally new to man sex. Ted had been around enough to spot young guys discovering that they are meant to be cum sluts. He knew before I did what it was I needed and how bad i wanted it. And he wanted to feed my addiction. “I think you need to get here quick Chris. I have a nice big poz load for that boy hole.” He gave me the addresss and I was cleaning up and in my car within 20 minutes. All I could think about was how hot Ted was. That thin body offset by that huge cock and those giant low hanging balls. The fact that he had HIV was totally in my mind, but the overwhelming feeling was it was worth any risk. I just had to have it. I had to offer up my asshole to get fucked raw. And he was so tall and so skinny. It made his dick look even hotter. And he really wanted to cum in me. Thst just made it hotter, pleasing him by totally giving him my hole. My Dick was hard the whole ride over. As I tried to adjust myself as I walked to his apartment door, I thought one more time. I was about to go in to a strAngers house to have unprotected anal sex with a an older man that I know has hiv. It’s in his cum. And his cum had literally shot so hard I had felt it, a huge hot load of man sperm. And my thoughts weren’t fear or worry. My only thought was I hope I feel it when he shoots his cum into me. A I knocked, I was aware how the nerves had changed from fear to just excitement. I couldn’t wait to see Ted and be his bottom. To take his cum. Beg for it even, if he asks me too. And when he answered, the shiver of anticipation that ran thru me felt so hot. I couldn’t wait. And now here he was opening the door for me, guiding me in. And i couldn’t wait to go.

Part 13 - Ladies That Lunch Ellie arrived at the restaurant and found Margarite sat at a quiet table in the corner. Margarite stood and gave Ellie a kiss on the cheek and they both sat down as the waiter brought the menus over, they chatted about the Hamptons and what was going on in Harrison over the last few weeks. Ellie talked about Sofie and her dance classes hoping that she would take up ballet. Margarite place her desert order and closed her menu. "Oh I spoke to the Guttenburgs last week" Margarite piped up. Ellie ordered her desert "They only stayed a couple of weeks in the Hamptons this year". "Yes, said they had a lovely beach BBQ at yours" Margarite laughed. Ellie laughed with her "Well he nearly lost his eyebrows at one point, you should come next year". "Husband likes to jet off for holidays, I do try to persuade him" Margarite said looking disappointed. Ellie smiled "Mine wants to go to the Caribbean again in November". "Will all of you go?" Margarite asked. "Ethan probably not, he has his studies and is doing really well" Ellie remarked with pride. Margarite smiled "Ethan looked so happy when I saw him in Larchmont a few weeks back at the Marina restaurant". "Oh, he never told me he went there for dinner" Ellie looked surprised. Margarite leaned forward "He certainly looked all loved up with his date". Ellie grimaced "Well as long as he is happy but doesn't get to serious at the moment". "Of course Ben told me had some suspicions that there was something going on" Margarite casually said. Ellie smiled "Well they are young". Margarite leaned in again "But a Latino, I would never have saw that coming" she looked at Ellie. "Latino?" Ellie remarked "Do you mean Latina?". Margarite shook her head "No Latino, rather sexy as well and very fit, a little older than Ethan I would say". The colour drained from Ellie's face "You must be mistaken". Margarite sat back "Ellie didn't you know?" she feigned a look of shock. Ellie tried to compose herself "Probably a friend from college". "Ben confirmed to me he was the other day" Margarite was enjoying her time immensely. Ellie saw the look of satisfaction on Margarite's face "Gay son, well at least that puts me above the rest". "You don't mind Ellie?" Margarite looked at her. Ellie smiled "At least we have a diverse family unlike the bog standard ones in Harrison". "You know there are other's around here in fact Ethan hangs out with one of them" Margarite played on it. Ellie suddenly guessed "Oh you mean Adam, such a lovely mannered boy we loving having him round". Margarite knew it was backfiring "You do know that Ben and Ethan had a falling out?". "Oh dear is your son not so accepting and open?" Ellie had Margarite on the run and loved it. Lunch over Ellie sat in the car fuming and sent a text message to Ethan 'Where are you?', annoyed at all the networking she had done to pair him off with some of the most respectable girls in Harrison. More than that she was angry that Margarite had to tell her, on the drive home she couldn't work out weather she was really upset, angry or just against it. Ethan's response text came as she pulled up the garage 'Back at 7pm'. She suddenly stopped and realised that Adam was in the Hamptons with Ethan, but no he wasn't a Latino so it couldn't be him. Head full of emotions she decided to sleep on it before confronting him and telling Jack, she knew she would have to before Jack found out from someone else in Harrison. Ethan put his phone down and settled back down in Angelo's arms as they watched the storm raging on, he thought it strange his mother would send a text asking where he was and began to feel a little on edge. An hour had passed and Ethan was packing his bag when his phone pinged again, he saw a new message but this time from Ben, he opened it and read it then dropped his phone. Angelo looked over at his worried face. "What is it Ethan?" Angelo walked over. Ethan sat down "My mother knows, Ben's mother had lunch and told her about us". Angelo sat down besides him "You are going to have to face up to this Ethan". Ethan nodded and looked outside "I think the storm is about to get bad". Angelo put his arm around him "We will deal with what ever happens Ethan". "Really?" Ethan looked at Angelo who nodded. It took nearly 5 hours to drive back as the Hamptons roads were flooded and traffic was slow. Ethan finally walked in to the house at just after 9pm, he could hear his father in the study working and his mother came out from the lounge and looked at him. "You look tired Ethan, long drive back with the weather?" Ellie asked. Ethan looked curiously at her "Yes, really bad storm there". "Come on I will make you a hot drink" Ellie turned and walked in to the kitchen. Ethan sat down "Thank you" he said. "So how was your weekend, you don't seem very happy" Ellie was watching the coffee machine. Ethan looked at her "It was good swam a lot and relaxed". Ellie put the coffee down in front of Ethan "I had an interesting lunch today with Margarite". Ethan looked at his cup "I know". Ellie had a surprised look on her face "How do you know?". "Ben sent me a text gloating, you know we fell out" Ethan wiped his eye. Ellie nodded "I know and I know why" as much as she wanted to be angry with him she couldn't do it. "Oh" Ethan sat starring at the cup "does father know?". "Not yet, I wanted to speak to you first" Ellie closed the kitchen door "Really Ethan?". Ethan looked up at her "Yes, I tried to play along with your matchmaking but it isn't me". "Your only just 18 Ethan we will find you a nice girl to settle down with" Ellie was testing him. Ethan shook his head "It would be living a lie mother, I am just not attracted to girls". "Is it Adam your attracted to?" She asked. Ethan shook his head again "No, he has been very supportive and more loyal as a friend". "I can't say I am happy about this Ethan, it is not who you were raised to be" Ellie looked on disappointed. Ethan stood up "It has nothing to do with being raised it is just who I am inside". Ellie shook her head "Go to bed Ethan". It was tense and Ethan walked in to his bedroom feeling sick, he sat in the bathroom on the floor and cried. Over the following days he kept out of everyone's way at home when he could and had several conversations with Angelo and Adam who had wanted to come over and see him, he had put Adam off for now as he didn't want to antagonise the situation. The first Saturday approached and Ethan quietly slipped out in the afternoon and spent the day with Angelo, it was breaking Angelo's heart to see Ethan so quiet and distracted. By 7pm Ethan asked Angelo to take him home as he shouldn't spend the night out of the house at the moment. Angelo watched Ethan get out of the car "Ethan if things get bad call me, I am here for you". Ethan nodded and kissed Angelo "I promise, I just need this to be out of the way now, I know it's coming". Angelo called out to him "5 to go" he watched Ethan smile and nod. By the time Angelo got back home at 8pm Adam was sat on his porch step wanting to find out how Ethan was holding up. Since he now lived in Larchmont with Tony it was a blessing to see Adam there as Angelo found he needed the company to help take his mind off things. The weekend out of the way Ethan got a call from Adam telling him he would be in Harrison on Tuesday morning and would like to meet up, Ethan agreed and said he would be there by 11am. He was still keeping a low profile around his mother and concentrating on his studies to make sure he was well versed for the year ahead at college. Tuesday came and Ethan quietly came down the stairs and opened the front door. "Where are you going Ethan?" Ellie stood at the kitchen door looking at him. Ethan turned in surprise "Harrison, I am meeting Adam to catch up". "Just don't get spotted doing anything else" Ellie turned and closed the kitchen door. Sofie looked up "What's the matter mother?". "Nothing, how is your rehearsal going?" Ellie changed the subject. Sofie looked over at her "It's Ethan isn't it?". Ellie turned to face her "What do you mean?". Sofie rolled her eyes upwards "You know full well what I mean". Ellie looked shocked "You know?". "Of course, it is obvious if you only stopped and paid real attention for once" Sofie retorted. At sixteen Sofie was not above speaking her mind in front of her mother. She kept her ear to the ground and knew what was going with Ethan through her own circle of friends. "What do you mean by that young lady?" Ellie lost her patience with Sofie. Sofie shook her head "Really mother, you and father don't know Ethan at all, he is just a puppet to you". Ellie sat down "Is that what you think?". "Ethan's life has been mapped out by you both, somewhere along the way you lost sight of him" Sofie replied. Ellie knew she had hit the nail on the head "Is that why he rebelled like this?". "He hasn't rebelled he just likes boys, why don't you find him one instead of a girl" Sofie chuckled. Ellie looked at her "It doesn't bother you?". Sofie laughed "Of course it does, I have to worry about competing against him for boys now". Ellie laughed for the first time in many days, chatting to Sofie had shone a whole new light on things seeing her daughter quite open and happy about a gay brother. Ethan shook his head in disbelief and walked up the drive and along the lane towards Harrison, his head conflicted not really knowing where his mother stood, he was happy to finally see Adam and be able to talk to him. Although brief Ethan felt a lot better and walked back towards home. He said hello to his mother and went up to his room. Jack had finished early and headed home pulling up the driveway just after 2pm. Ellie made him a sandwich and took it to the study where Jack was catching up on some emails. She waited until he had finished and wondered in. "Jack we need to talk about Ethan" she closed the door and walked over towards him. Jack looked up "Has he got in to trouble?". Ellie nervously laughed "No, well not quite but you should know he is not interested in girls". "Not interested in girls, you mean he doesn't want to marry?" Jack looked confused. Ellie shook her head "Not quite, he is.. well gay". Jack looked at her "What!, when, are you sure?". Ellie nodded "Yes he is Jack". "Not in my house he doesn't I won't have it" Jack stormed to the door and shouted "Ethan get down here now". Ethan shook as somehow he knew his mother had just told his father and could tell by the way he was summoned that he was angry, he slowly made his way downstairs he walked in to the study where Jack gabbed his arm and spun him around. "Well is it true, you fuck around with men?" Jack shouted in his face. Ethan stepped back looking afraid and nodded "Yes". Quick as a flash Ethan felt the stinging pain across his face as his father struck him with hefty force, his eyes filled with tears at the pain and he wiped under his nose to see blood. Ethan had fallen to the floor and stood back up. "No son of mine is gonna be gay" Jack screamed at Ethan. Ellie was horrified and upset "Jack please calm down". Jack continued his shouting "Get out of my house, pack your things and fuck off out of my house". Ethan looked "Father please". Jack repeated louder stressing his anger for Ethan to get out of his house and raised his hand again. Ethan reacted quickly in self protection and punched his father in the face with all his might sending him toppling over the sofa. Realising what he had done he ran out of the study and up to his room and locked the door. He sobbed for nearly an hour in the corner of his room, his face still sore. Eventually he stood up and went in to the bathroom and looked in to the mirror, he had blood stains running down over his lips and chin and several splatters on his t-shirt. He wiped his eyes and went back to the bedroom to get his phone and rang Angelo, the phone rang and rang, he called the number again but it went to voicemail he left a message 'Angelo, please I need you' he put his phone on the bed and sat waiting. Ethan could still hear his father ranting downstairs, Ethan had never hit anyone and to do it to your father was something he couldn't fathom out where it had come from. An hour had passed and he heard nothing from Angelo, he was now beginning to fear the worse that Angelo was not turning out to be the real deal and had lead him up the garden path, had he played him for a fool and left him to deal with his own consequences. Ethan cried again and began packing some of his clothes and college work in to a couple of large bags he had for weekends away. He picked up his phone again and tried Angelo's number but it rang and eventually went to voicemail again. He sat on the bed all cried out, he had nowhere to go and no idea what he was going to do, he sat for a what seemed like hours. He packed a few more things and thought to call Adam and Tony and was reaching over for his phone. Angelo was finishing his meeting and returning to his office when Mark, his assistant, told him his personal phone had been going off like crazy. Angelo saw the missed calls from Ethan and listened to the voicemail. He ran out of the office and called to his assistant that he would be back in the morning. Angelo jumped in to his car and put his phone on Bluetooth, he sped away towards Harrison and called Ethan's mobile. The phone rang and Ethan saw that Angelo was calling him "Angelo". "Ethan what's wrong" Angelo asked urgently. Ethan sniffed "Please come and take me away..." Angelo stopped him "I am already on my way, you are coming home with me where you belong". "Thank you Angelo" Ethan hung up and wiped his eyes. He felt an immense sense of relief that he had somewhere to go, but more so it would be with Angelo. He picked up his two bags and quietly walked down the stairs the study door was closed and he could hear his father had calmed down and was talking with his mother. Unmistakably he heard his name mentioned several times and a banging sound from his father hitting the desk with his fist. Sofie appeared over the stairs "Go Ethan I love you, will text you later" she said quietly. Ethan smiled but with sadness in his eyes and opened the front door then quietly slipped out, he went round the side of the house to avoid being seen walking up the drive. He threw his bags over the wall and climbed over then sat on the grass, he had been there only seconds when he saw Angelo's car approaching. Angelo jumped out of the car and saw the blooded t-shirt and redness around his nose and chin. He shook his head and hugged Ethan. "Did your father do this" Angelo said. Ethan nodded "Yes, but he was angry". Angelo looked angry "Fuck Ethan that is no excuse, if he wasn't your father I would beat him to pulp". "It will just make things worse. I thought you had changed your mind when I couldn't get hold of you" Ethan said. Angelo kissed his head "Never Ethan, you belong with me". Angelo put Ethan and his belongings in the car and drove off towards Larchmont, Ethan looked back tears running down his face. Sofie went in to the kitchen to fetch a drink and as she closed the refrigerator door she heard the door to the study open and Jack walked in. "Oh, thought you was Ethan" Jack looked at her then shouted up to Ethan "Ethan come down". Sofie passed by and climbed the stairs "He won't answer you father" she looked at him. "Can you talk to him Sofie?" Jack asked Sofie shook her head "He left about 15 minutes ago". "Left, what do you mean left?" Jack replied looking more annoyed. Sofie continued up the stairs "You told him to leave, so he has". Ellie burst in to tears "See what you have done" she ran up the stairs towards Ethan's room. Ethan was asleep when Angelo arrived home, he got out of the car and put Ethan's belongings in the hallway before going back to the car to wake Ethan up. Angelo helped him out of the car and picked him up carrying him inside. "Do you want to have a bath?" Angelo asked putting Ethan on the sofa. Ethan nodded "Please". Angelo ran a bath and Ethan walked in to the bathroom naked "Take your time, I will make you something to eat". Ethan looked at Angelo "Thank you Angelo, for being here" he smiled and kissed him. Angelo smiled "Ethan you don't need to thank me". Ethan climbed in to the bath "You still love me then?" he looked at Angelo. "Very much so Ethan" Angelo stroked Ethan's head "I will get you a set of keys tomorrow". Ethan hadn't computed things properly for a while and looked confused "Keys?" Angelo smiled "Yes, that is if you still want to live with me?". Ethan smiled at Angelo "Yes but I don't want you to think it is because of today". "It is earlier than anticipated but it doesn't change anything" Angelo kissed him on the head. A heavy downpour of rain had suddenly appeared and Angelo picked up the blood stained t-shirt looking at it, he felt angry at Jack for hitting Ethan, he took it to the laundry room then brought Ethan's bags upstairs to the master bedroom. Angelo's anger dissipated and was replaced by real happiness that Ethan would now be living with him, he knew there was a lot of recovering ahead for Ethan but at least he could be by his side. Angelo stood in the kitchen making a sandwich when there was a knock at the door, he wasn't expecting anyone he looked at the door cam and saw Adam standing there looking anxious, Angelo opened the front door and saw a drenched Adam standing there. "Angelo is he here?" Adam asked looking worried. Angelo nodded and pulled Adam inside "I picked him up about an hour ago". "Thank god, his sister sent a message to my sister, blah blah you know what girls are like" Adam spoke fast. Angelo shook Adam gently "Hey calm down Adam, Ethan is okay, a little upset and soaking in the bathtub". Adam breathed and hugged Angelo "Did he leave home?". Angelo nodded "Yes, but you need to get out of those wet clothes Adam". Adam undressed "His sister said there had been a big fight" he said standing holding his clothes. Angelo brought Adam a dressing gown down and put his wet clothes in the dryer "Yes" Angelo held his breath. "Angelo, please don't do anything crazy" Adam held Angelo's arm. Angelo looked at Adam "He hit his own son and my boyfriend, god it makes me angry thinking about it". Adam hugged Angelo "You must let it go Angelo let it sort it self out". Ethan walked in to the kitchen he had heard the last part of the conversation, the sight of Adam hugging Angelo in comfort was a big step with Angelo showing his emotions. Angelo wiped his eyes and told Ethan to eat his sandwich, Adam came over and gave Ethan a hug and sat down next to him. "Are you working tomorrow Angelo?" Adam asked. Angelo nodded "Yes I have a busy couple of weeks in the city". "Do you want me to come over in the morning and be with Ethan" Adam suggested. Angelo looked at Ethan "Thank you that is if Ethan wants the company". Ethan nodded "Yes, I don't want to be alone and dwell on today, I want to move forward" Ethan had put his phone on silence and refused to answer calls and messages from his mother and father. He sent one message to his sister telling her he was fine. Ethan climbed in to bed next Angelo his face was still sore and a small bruise was appearing under his left eye, Angelo put his arm around Ethan and allowed him to cuddle up. Ethan had no idea how long he had been asleep but his dreams replayed the fight with his father and he felt he was struggling to be free and sat bolt upright gasping. Angelo sat up and put his arm around Ethan who flinched at the touch thinking he was still dreaming. Angelo knew this time he was not flinching at his touch 'Ethan it's alright you are safe' he whispered, Ethan turned and kissed Angelo and settled back down in his arms. Angelo stroked his head 'Never forget you are loved and wanted' he whispered cuddling him. Finally Ethan settled back down but was wide awake, he slipped his hand down Angelo's body and was rewarded feeling Angelo's aroused state, Ethan kissed him lovingly and rolled on to his stomach. Angelo didn't need any prompting as he guided his body over Ethan's and rested on his back slowly kissing and biting his neck working his way towards Ethan's mouth, Ethan responded with small moans of pleasure and pushing his ass up grinding it against Angelo's cock. The magic between them showing it's hand as Angelo slipped his arm around Ethan's neck firmly holding his shoulder, Angelo raised his hips and let his cock slide between Ethan's ass cheeks. Angelo moaned in excitement feeling his cock slipping inside, Ethan raised his head turning to kiss Angelo, he moaned and whimpered between kisses as Angelo pushed his cock in deeper until his hips rested on top of Ethan's ass. Ethan pushed his ass up and Angelo forced it back down with his hips causing Ethan to cry out in pleasure, Angelo held Ethan closer to him and began moving his hips up and down in a tender loving motion. They continued for nearly half an hour with Ethan feeling more than ever this was what he needed and wanted. For the first time Ethan moaned louder and begged Angelo to fuck him harder, no sooner had he said that he felt the pressure increasing from Angelo as he pushed past any resistance from Ethan's ass. His hips slapping down harder withdrawing more of his cock each time and ramming it back in, Ethan's legs shook through the excitement and his toes tried curling in on themselves as every fibre of his body cried out for Angelo's sex. Angelo kissed Ethan's neck and continuously telling him how much he loved getting fucked by him. Ethan had never endured such powerful emotions his head buried in the pillow he cried out 'fuck me Angelo, show me you own me' he pleaded. Angelo gave Ethan one last kiss and raised his body up and began relentlessly hammering his cock in to Ethan, precum leaking from his cock coated the inside of Ethan's ass, his cock sweeping in and out with ease. His balls suddenly tightened without warning his hips pushed down hard as Ethan gasped and moaned, Angelo's hips kept pushing hard up against Ethan's ass as the seed from his cock erupted in to Ethan's body, he grunted loudly and cried 'You belong to me Ethan, I own you forever' Ethan's eyes were watering from the hardest sex he had willingly endured, his head jolted up with every clenching movement of Angelo's ass checks that forced the cock deeper inside his ass. Ethan collapsed on the bed his ass wriggling in happiness as he tried to catch his breath. Angelo collapsed on top of Ethan his hips grinding hard against Ethan's ass showed no sign of stopping imminently. Ethan moaned and turned his head to look at Angelo "I love you and belong to you". Angelo slipped his tongue into Ethan's mouth kissing him "That's everything I wanted from you". Angelo pulled Ethan on to his side still holding on to him as they both fell asleep and slept through the rest of the night. The alarm woke Ethan abruptly and he sat upright still slightly confused until he felt Angelo's arm pulling him back down to lay by his side. "I guess I have to get use to this" Ethan said cuddling next to Angelo. Angelo stroked his shoulder "How are you feeling?". Ethan rolled on to his back "I don't know, upset, angry you name it and I am probably feeling it". Angelo got out of bed and looked at him "Loved?". Ethan smiled "Very much so". Ethan settled in and with Adam as company he was putting he worse behind him, after 3 days Ethan eventually relented from the continuous text messages from his mother and told her he was doing well and would return to college in two weeks. He was being evasive and wouldn't let on where he was living or with who, but his mother bombarding him said she wanted to meet to talk. Cutting all his family out was the last thing he wanted to do and after much deliberation and coercion from Angelo he agreed to meet her on Monday in Harrison at Mel's Diner for a coffee. Adam who was now sporting a car of his own said he would drive Ethan and look after him to make sure nothing happened. Ethan was learning how to cook with Angelo and he was making himself useful tidying and cleaning around the already spotless house thanks to the cleaner.

This is not the story of some straight muscle jock suddenly becoming gay, or the story of a “top only” homo learning to bottom. No, I came out when I was 15, I’ve always thought of myself as vers, though mainly in theory. I’ve topped boys, and I’ve been topped, but in the end, I found that anal just wasn’t really my thing. I loved giving head. It was my passion. This though is the story of how I found a new passion, of how I learned that I actually do enjoy anal, and more than that I need it. This is the story of how I learned that my ass hole is not a hole but a pussy, more over a cunt that needs filled with seed. This is the story of how I became a cumpig to a rough, bear, with a fat cock. This is the story of the man who changed my life. This is the story of how I become a bottom for raw cock. First a little about me. I’ve never thought that I was exceptionally attractive, though I think I’m pretty cute and at the time of this story was 27. I’m about 5 foot nine, with light brown hair; I’ve never loved my natural hair so usually I dye it blonde in the summer leaving me with blonde streaks for most of the year. I work out fairly regularly, though I still eat whatever I want so I’m not terribly thin and I certainly don’t have a six pack. What I do have is a narrow waist, a nice chest, arms with a strong vein running down the bicep, and a thick bouncy ass from lots of running. I’m not what you’d call super hairy by any means but I’ve got a nice covering across my chest and down my stomach, and a nice hairy ass. At the time I met Sir I think I’d been fucked maybe half a dozen times in my life, though I’d certainly sucked more than my share of cocks. On this particular day that’s what I was aiming to do. Having just gotten home from the gym, I lay on my bed in just my still sweaty shorts scrolling through my porn Tumblr (I miss porn Tumbler so much) my cock getting harder as I scrolled. I’m always super horny when I get back from the gym and today was no exception. I started to think that more than jerking off I wanted to swallow a thick cock. It was maybe 1 P.M. on a Saturday and in Harlem there is almost always someone around. Opening up Scruff I started to scroll. I sent out some woofs and some messages to regulars when he messaged me. His profile photo was of a solidly built torso with beautiful pink nipples, thick dark hair, and a strong treasure trail leading out of the frame, what it didn’t have was a head. Still I read though his stats. He was 41, lived with in a half mile of me, six feet tall, muscular. I opened his message. Directly following his quick greeting was a photo of a thick fat cock. It had a broad flat head, several thick veins running down the toilet paper roll thick shaft, thick dark pubes at the base, and two heavy looking low hanging balls hanging below. Without even seeing his face I was taken in. I wanted to swallow that cock. I loved feeling my jaw stretched to its maximum around a dick. I wanted to feel that man’s cum hit the back of my throat. “Damn, that’s a beautiful cock” I responded. “Thanks, boy,” he replied a few seconds later, asking "what are you looking for?” “Honestly I just got home from the gym and I’m horny as fuck. I really want to suck some cock today.” “Well, what a surprise. I’m looking for someone to come suck my fat cock for me.” “Perfect!” I responded, and then before I could ask him for a face pic or anything else he sent me his address. “Come get this fat cock now if you want it boy. Don’t bother showering from the gym or anything. Just come get my dick in your mouth.” My cock throbbed. I don’t know why but there was something about him, the way he talked, or maybe just the sight of his absolutely perfect cock. Whatever it was that something overruled the rest of my brain. I pulled a shirt on, slipped into some shoes, and grabbed my keys. He only lived ten blocks downtown from me and I had walked half way there before I remembered I didn’t know what he looked like. In another half-block I decided I didn’t care. I had no idea how much things were going to change for me over the next few hours and days. I got to his apartment as quickly as I could. I buzzed the door. A somewhat gruff if tinny voice came across the speaker saying only "Third floor,” as the door lock clicked open. The stairs were at the back of the building. As I walked down the typical narrow New York apartment building hallway I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. Then, there I was, right in front of his door. Taking a deep breath, I knocked. There was a brief pause and then the door opened. There he stood, the most perfect man I had ever seen. I had been prepared for some troll with a good body, but the man who stood before me was stunning. He had a broad, strong, handsome face, and a thick black mustache across his whole top lip. His tight black t-shirt was stretched thin across his wide muscular chest and a thick tuft of chest hair stuck up from the collar. He clearly wasn’t wearing underwear, and through his thin basketball shorts I could see the outline of his semi-hard cock. “Get in here boy,” his resonant baritone voice rumbling in my chest. “And strip.” I stepped inside and he closed the door behind me. Without thought or hesitation I stripped off my clothes, even though I was a little surprised. My experience had been that a guy who just wanted his dick sucked would simply whip it out, and neither of us would actually get undressed. This man however, clearly had different ideas. “Good boy. I’m Michael,” he said, and I blushed a little realizing along with not asking what he looked like I also hadn’t asked his name. For a split second I asked myself what kind of spell had he placed over me. “Stephen,” I replied. “That’s great, but from now on you will address me as 'Sir' and I will address you 'Boy'. Is that clear?” I nodded. “When I ask you a question you respond with ‘Yes Sir’, boy.” “Yes Sir” I replied immediately replied. I had no idea why I was saying it but it made my cock hard to do so. I think I was harder than I had ever been before. My mouth was watering I wanted so badly to get my lips around that cock. “Now, let’s get you what you came here for.” With that he pulled his shirt off revealing the torso from his profile photo. His thick chest hair swirled over strong muscular pecs, his middle was thick with muscles without ever really manifesting into a six pack. He looked like the sort of man who gained his bulk from physical work not the gym. He walked over to the couch, and just before he sat down he pushed his gym sorts off revealing his perfect cock. I stared at it, half hard, sticking up slightly from his crotch but still too soft to fully lift its own weight. “Well,” he said shaking his cock at me, “come wrap those pretty dick sucking lips around my cock, boy.” I basically sprinted the few feet between us and fell to my knees between his legs. His crotch smelled musty, of sweat and testosterone. I loved it. Hungrily I licked around his head, pulling the still mostly soft cock into my mouth. I felt it start to harden as I swallowed the shaft down. It grew thicker and thicker in my mouth with each bob of my head. I was in heaven. My own cock was hard as a rock, and I moved to jerk it slowly as I sucked him but Sir had other ideas. “Get your fucking hand off your cock. Did I say you could jerk off? No, you get off when I say you can boy.” He shoved my head down hard, pushing more of his cock into my mouth. I gagged a little but just kept swallowing. I wanted his load down my throat more than anything in the world and I was willing to work for it. I swallowed him to the balls, my nose nestled deep in his pubes breathing in his scent. His hands drifted from the back of my head down my body as he leaned forward. His cock thrust forward, shoving more than I thought possible down my throat, my eyes were watering, and I was so focused on what I was doing that I barely noticed his hand reach my ass. My body however responded for me. I felt my back arch, and my ass stick out more as I stuck my tongue out and licked at his balls. I was light headed and it was as if there was no more air left in my body but I didn’t care: I needed his load in my stomach. One of his fingers rubbed against my hole, and to my own surprise I moaned around his cock. The more I sucked him, and the more he teased my hole the more I started to think that I might want him to fuck me. It seemed crazy at the time, I probably hadn’t bottomed in over a year, but now I was starting to think I wanted this massive cock inside me. He must have read my mind, “I think you want more than to just swallow my cock don’t you boy. I should have known, boys like you always end up begging me to fuck them.” I pulled off of his cock, “Honestly, Sir, I really did just come here to swallow your load.” “Hmmmm, you might be telling the truth, but now that I’ve seen that nice furry ass I have some other ideas of my own.” My heart thudded hard in my chest, was I ready to be fucked by this cock, could I take it, did I want to? “Follow me.” He pushed me back and got up off the couch, his cock sticking straight out from his body. I followed him into the bedroom where he lay down on the bed. “Sit on my face boy, I’m gonna eat that pussy while you blow me.” I’d never had my hole called a pussy before and my heart skipped a beat. Quickly I climbed up on the bed and pushed my ass back onto his face, and then bent forward to swallow his cock again. “Mmmmmm,” he growled, “still nice and ripe from the gym. Good boy.” His tongue brushed against my hole and I gasped. I had only been rimmed once before and I don’t think the guy was very into it. Sir, however, was very into it. His tongue first lapped across my hole, flicking against my tight pucker, then started to swirl around the outside of it coating my hole in lots and lots of spit. I moaned and panted as I went back to swallowing his cock. Sir’s hands were on either side of my hips pulling my ass back onto his face, pushing his nose tight into my crack. I felt his tongue start to push against my hole lightly and my whole body seemed to start to go slack. It was as if he was pushing some button inside of me that I hadn’t known existed until then. My body was turning to putty in his hands. I sloppily swallowed his cock while steadily pushing my hips back against his face. He pushed his tongue harder against my tight hole as I shoved back into him and I felt myself start to open for him. My tight pucker started slowly to part, and give way to his slow but steady onslaught. I groaned and pulled myself up off his cock and rocked back, putting most of my weight on him. His tongue pushed into me, opening me up, and I felt my hole bloom open. I had never felt anything like this before. My whole body was electrified, his mustache rubbed against my hole as he moved his tongue around. I felt myself getting more and more loose and the little voice in the back of my mind that had started to think I might want to get fucked was steadily growing to a yell. I bounced a little on his tongue and felt him growl his satisfaction into my hole. Sir gave me a hard shove and pushed my ass off of his face. "Get on your back pig,” he ordered. I flipped off of him and lay flat on my back. Sir stood-up, moving between my legs. My cock was rock hard, harder than I think it had ever been. A steady stream of precum oozed down my shaft. “You’ve got a tight pussy boy,” he said putting my legs on his shoulders. "Maybe you told the truth in your profile and you are more of an oral boy. But by the way you were pushing that hole back onto my tongue tells me you’re ready to change that.” “Change that, Sir?” “I’m going to do you a favor today. I’m going to make you my boy. I was just going to send you home with one of my loads in your stomach but I think instead I’m going to show you what you’ve been missing and fill your gut with my cum.” “I… um… I…” I stammered, then I felt his cock head brush against my wet hole. Initially I froze, my whole body tensed, but then, as if on command, my body seemed to relax and slid down closer to him. My jaw unclenched, my shoulders relaxed, I let out a breath, the knots came out of my stomach, and my hole seemed for a moment to loosen and twitch allowing just the very tip of his blunt cock head to press inside. “Good boy,” he said and carefully dropped a big glob of spit onto his cock and my hole. He leaned forward, his face an inch from mine and said in a deep rough whisper, “deep breath in, count to three and the let it out slowly.” I did as he said, breath in, one, two, three, and then out slowly. The rest of the tension went out of my body and as it did he pressed his cock into my hole. “Mmmmm, feel that pussy opening up for me. Deep breath in again, boy. A lot more cock still needs to slip into that boy hole.” We repeated the deep breath process three more times before he said, “There we go.” I felt him push the last part of his cock into me and his balls come to rest on my ass. My head was sipping. My hole had never been so full, all of the other times I had been fucked I had felt stuffed, or pushed, but this was different. This was a glorious feeling of being opened up, my whole body was on fire with excitement and lust. My cock was pouring out precum, and my hole seemed desperate for more. “How does that feel, boy?” “Amazing, Sir,” I panted. “I knew you’d like Sir’s big cock in that sweet pussy. You want Sir to fuck you, don’t you boy?” “Yes, please, Sir.” “You want Sir to give you his load, don’t you, boy?” “Yes Sir,” and as I answered I knew what was different. I understood what had changed. I had never been fucked bare before, this was the first raw cock I had ever taken. Removing that thin piece of latex had changed the world for me. “Good boy. I’m going to fill you up good.” He slowly withdrew his cock out of my hole commenting "I’m going to teach you how to be a real pussy boy. A hole this good shouldn’t be wasted on some cock sucker.” Just the tip of his cock was inside me now, and as he continued to speak he pushed back inside me. I let out a long low moan. “This is the kind of ass that begs men like me to breed it. When I’m done with you, boy, you’ll be begging the next guy to hit you up on Scruff to fuck your cunt, not your throat.” Again his balls slammed against my ass, and as he again made a slow withdraw Sir commented "I’m gonna train this pussy good, loosen you up, get you ready to just bend over and take whatever comes to you.” I felt my hole flex a little as the tip of his cock pulled against my ring from the inside. “You want that boy, don’t you? Now that you’ve felt Sir’s cock deep inside that pussy of yours, you know you want to feel like this all the time.” “Yes Sir,” I breathed. “Good boy. Push that pussy out for me, push it out against my cock.” I pushed out for him. I felt my hole open wider around his cock. Then he slammed back into me. The whole length of his cock in one quick thrust was thrust in its entirety into my hole. I yelled out but as his cock bottomed out in me the head struck something deep within me and my yell became a deep guttural moan. It was too perfect. Something inside of me had just broken. Some final barrier within my body was gone and my ass became his fuck hole. It was as if the rest of me didn’t exist, I was just a hole. My cock was completely forgotten, and all I could think about was wanting to feel like this more. “That was your second hole opening up for me boy. That was your hole taking its first step to being the pussy its destined to be.” With that he pulled his cock all the way out and slammed it back in again. I grunted, like an animal in heat. My entire focus was on my hole and his cock. "Keep pushing it out for my boy. I want that cunt nice and sloppy when I’m done.” For ten minutes, probably, he pummeled my hole while I kept pushing out, keeping it open for him. I felt my hole changing. I felt myself getting looser. It was easier each time to take him, and he seemed to be getting deeper like he was rearranging my guts. I was in heaven. With each thrust I let out a deep low grunt and each time he pulled out completely I felt a sinking emptiness inside me. I needed this. Sweat started to build on both of us and the room started to smell of sex. It was intoxicating. You never got this just blowing a guy. Suddenly he grabbed me by my hips and in one swift motion flipped us so that he was now on his back and I was sitting on his lap completely impaled on his cock. “Ride me boy,” he instructed. So I did. I started to bounce hard, almost completely pulling-off his cock, only then to slam my ass back down, my balls bounding off of his stomach. There was a massive wet spot in the pelt of hair that covered his stomach from my drooling cock. I was yelling and moaning, I couldn’t help myself. I had never loved anything so much. I could feel every vein and ripple in his cock as it slid in and out of my slick hole. His head kept hitting new places inside of me sending fresh waves of ecstasy through me. My second hole was now as loose and my first and his cock had free reign over my hole. I have no idea how long I rode him but I could have done it forever. Sweat ran off of me and I could smell my own musk growing. Finally, after what was a beautiful lifetime he again grabbed me and tossed me onto my back. His cock came out of my hole as we rolled and once I was on my back he slammed back into me. This time was different though, there was a new energy to his fucking a roughness, a need that had to be fulfilled. I guessed at what was coming. “You ready for my load boy?” “Oh my God! Yes, Sir! Please, give me your load!” I practically shouted. “Good answer boy.” He pounded even harder, his rhythm becoming erratic, his breathing getting rough. The with a deep roar he slammed the full length of his cock into my body as I felt it swell and then being to pulse inside of me. For the first time ever I was taking a man’s load inside of me. I was being bred, and I loved it. I could feel every pulse of his cock, I felt warmth spread through my body. I was lost in euphoria. We stayed like that for a long minute. Both panting as we came down from the fuck. I still hadn’t cum but I felt a different kind of satisfaction. Slowly he pulled his softening cock out of my hole, and as he did so I began to feel a deep emptiness taking its place. Now empty and full of longing I looked at the man who had just bred me. A smile spread across his handsome face. He lent down and kissed me for the first time. His tongue pushed into my mouth and I felt his moustache against my lips. Then he sat up. “Good boy. You did well. So, here’s what happens next.” His fingers brushed my loose wet hole, “Think of it like a test.” He slid two fingers inside of me. “I’ve got some work to do so you’re going to go home,” a third finger was added, “You are not to shower,” the fingers started twisting around inside of me, “you are not to cum, you are not to let any of my load out of your hole.” Reaching over to the night stand, Sir pulled something out that I didn’t see. He spat on the object and then, removing his fingers from my hole, pressed it inside of me. It started out narrow and then flared so that it stretched my hole for a moment before popping inside. “You are not to remove this butt plug unless you are going to get fucked. Now this is the part where you get some choice in your test. Along with denying yourself the joy of cumming and staying the sweaty fucked out mess you are now, you will take at least two more loads today. When I am done with work at 7.30 tonight I will text you, and I will breed you again tonight and give you those two loads. But if you cannot wait that long, and something tells me that you won’t be able to, you are to get on Scruff and find another cock of no less than seven inches to breed this sweet little cunt in training.” He pushed hard against the butt plug. Involuntarily I moaned. "Do you understand?” “Yes Sir.” “Good boy. Now get out”

In most of the scenes I did, we didn't get paid until we'd signed the release form afterwards and the studio had got copies of our identification for 18+ proof etc. I never was part of a shoot where someone failed the money shot so never got to see if that was really the essential thing but they were too polite to say! And Saturn1 - you're welcome

Yes I had a CD4 of 56 and VL of 90K in 2001 and my papers said “AIDS”. They also said “normal activity as tolerated” and everything since has said “HIV-Symptomatic”.

Freshly shaven submissive going to Carnival II 1778 North Delsea Drive (rt47) Vineland, NJ 08360 today 1/22 around 11 am looking to service all and get my fuck hole breed- flooded. Even open to someone slipping me a booty bump for the first time. KIK me “breeding zone” to “bigbull4you69” if you want updates when I am on my way. My Eddie Crowdpleaser

A guy once jerked me off through my dress pants on a very crowded Piccadilly Line train during morning rush hour on the London tube. Another guy who turned out to live around the corner from me watched the whole thing happen. The second guy and I got off at the same stop and later that day had sex in a stairwell of a parking garage near my office. And another time in his apartment. He was a hot bricklayer or plumber..... long time ago. I was 23.

chase your dreams and your needs. I can never get seeded enough and I totally accept the cumdump that I am. I dedicate most weekends to just getting fucked as often as possible it is not only the only time I feel complete when a man is fucking me but it is my addiction and my overriding need. I cannot go two days without getting fucked or I am unbearable

I enjoy very rough sex both as top and bottom, especially when it starts out as a “fair fight” to see which of us can make the other submit. The closer it gets to rape/nonconsensual the hotter it is.

I was in my early 20's and discovered the YMCA in New York City. At least two of top floors were rented as rooms for men only and the first night I rented a room there was a guy getting fucked and taking loads across the hall for my room. Guys would walk in and fuck him, some would leave door open. That bottom was not there the following night so I took over and left my door open and it was turn to service those cocks. I was young and in very good shape so it was easy to get some action. By the way, all the current talk about bareback, breeding, bottom and top was not as popular as it is today.

I’m curious, do you just keep shooting wads for ages like in the videos out there, and if so are you orgasming the whole time? Or do you just orgasm at the start and have to twiddle your thumbs/read the paper until it stops? Very jealous if it’s the former

Being an exhibitionist I’m always on the lookout for fun new places to have sex. I’ve done it everywhere - the usual tearooms, parks and nude beaches are always fun but so are stairwells, balconies, roofs, elevators and parking garages; cars, buses, trains (subway and railroad) and boats; offices at work; department stores (not just the changing room or the mensroom - one piggy store employee actually got down on this knees in the middle of a circular rack of clothes, fished my cock out of my shorts and sucked me off while I stood there). Had sex in a portajohn once or twice, and (one of my all-time favorites) the 110-degree heat of an equipment shack of a construction site in downtown DC one summer where I literally had my suit and shirt ripped off by one of the burly, macho Homduran construction workers. I wound up on the subway home afterwards in my soaking wet suit and no shirt (no point since the buttons all popped off when it was ripped off me), reeking of sex, sweat, spit, cum, and i think maybe even a little piss. Just thinking about it still gets me going.... The rush I get from public sex is comparable to a drug high sometimes it’s so incredible.

The drug companies make more on maintenance drugs than cures. All the “vaccination” stories have been scams to sell stock in ghost companies

Nah, I doubt it. They've been saying a vaccine is only a few years away ever since the early days of the epidemic. Back in 1984 when HTLV-III (later renamed HIV) was discovered to be the cause of AIDS, scientists said a vaccine was about 2 years away!

Yesterday night I hosted a small group of daddy tops and friends #8 - married Long Island muscle daddy fwb came over after work to use me (attached is his body pic before he nailed me) #9 - salt and pepper friend. He was my designated party helper; assist with the door while I'm getting fucked, greeter, making sure guys don't steal haha #10 - vers daddy neighbor. We met recently on BBRT and turns out he lives 1.5 blocks away. He has a sexual appetite almost as large as mine! We flipped each other. #11 - hot middle eastern guy in his late 20's. We never met before and it was clear he was a little uncomfortable w/ the scene. But I'm glad he fucked me a little before he decided to leave early #12 - mixed Latin/White 29yo guy who I met at a sex party last month. He's beautiful and everyone wanted a piece of his ass and dick. I'm seeing him again tomorrow. #13 - 30 something year old white guy who I met in the Midwest a few years ago. Poz undetectable muscley stocky build with tats. We were so excited to see each other again #14 - 6'3 muscle otter 30's, huge thick d. We fucked a few times before, but he always is busy. Glad he found a half hour for me. #15 - friend who is turning 50 next week (he got an AIRBNB next weekend and is throwing a birthday party/orgy with 30 of his closest friends). A little chubby, but a huge pig and a sweet fuck. Beautiful face. At this point, my ass was spewing cum and it didn't take him long to get off. I think 15 is going to stay my record, but never say never, right? ?

Flakes and noshows make me crazy. I just had a breed & feed. 5 guys on BBRT asked for an invite to my sex party. Of those 5, only one showed up. I posted several times on Doublelist. Of the 8 guys from Doublelist that said they're coming, only 2 showed up. And 2 guys from Grindr that said they were "On their way", never showed up. In total of over 15 guys that said they would show up, only 5 guys showed. And 2 were guys I'd met previously. Lot's of game playing that I don't understand.

I've wondered about finding videos on the dark web, too. Stuff that I can't seem to see on any other site -like openly poz guys breeding. Genuine AIDS fuckers spreading their seed. Conversion videos with bloody asses. There seem to be the same handful of pozzing videos bouncing around all of the usual sites, but I'd really love to find something more extreme. Real wasting guys infecting eager neg asses. And when I was on tumblr there were tons of videos labeled 'pozzing' or something to do with conversion, but there was no verbal to indicate anyone was actually poz, no one had 'the look' or there were no bio hazard tats. Just regular old fucking. If anyone finds anything worth seeing on the dark web, I do hope they will keep us all posted.

Part 15 - No Escape After spending several hours on the tiled floor in the kitchen Ethan stood up to set the table for dinner. Angelo just continued to lay on the floor watching him with Ethan stepping over him. Eventually Angelo stood up and went to shower before dinner. The following morning Ethan dressed quite smartly walked to the car with Angelo, he had some course work to do and would find a quiet spot in the office to study whilst Angelo worked. It was a very orderly office around 10 people working away who all looked up and greeted Angelo as he walked through. Ethan somewhat surprised to see that Angelo didn't have a separate office, instead he had a desk in the corner. Ethan looked at the sprightly black haired lad who sat at one of the desks opposite, guessing he was probably a couple of years younger than Angelo and sported a polo shirt which accentuated his chest and arms, they were not nearly as muscular as Angelo's but he was pretty nicely built Ethan thought. Mark turned to looked at them Ethan was stunned by his looks that could knock a person flat from nearly a mile away, his piercing green eyes that seemed to bore right through Ethan as he caught his gaze. "Morning boss" Mark stood up smiling "Oh and you have to be Ethan" Mark held out his hand. Angelo put his bag down "Ethan this is Mark my assistant". Mark scoffed "He treats me like a slave and taunts me all day". Ethan shook his hand "Hello Mark nice to meet you" he said trying to deduce if he was gay. Mark smiled "So you are the one responsible for his mushy state" he laughed nodding to Angelo. "Thank you Mark that's enough" Angelo looked at Ethan "Mark is a wannabe gay" he said laughing. Mark tutted "Ignore him Ethan, come one lets get the boss his coffee before he goes mad" he said dragging Ethan. Ethan didn't have time to think or speak as Mark dragged him out of the office laughing, he did indeed like Mark a lot in just those few minutes it appeared they both shared very similar traits and qualities. When Mark eventually stopped dragging Ethan across from the office the entered the coffee shop. Ethan trying to stop laughing composed himself "What is a mushy state?" he asked. Mark ordered 3 coffees the turned to Ethan "He has been like this for several weeks and finally let slip". Ethan looked confused "Let slip?". "Yes about you, the last few days he has been very relaxed and happy" Mark said paying the counter clerk. Ethan laughed "Is he not normally that way then?" he asked. Mark turned to Ethan "The one thing I can tell you is Angelo is a very complex person". "How do you mean complex?" Ethan asked. Mark smiled "He needs loving, but he has a.. I suppose you call it a disregard for sex". Ethan looked slightly shocked "You seem to know him quite well". Mark looked at Ethan "He confides a lot in me so I know everything, well almost everything". Ethan picked up one of the coffees "What do you mean you know everything?". Mark motioned to the table "Sit down lets get the awkwardness over with" Mark grabbed the other coffees. Ethan sat down unsure what was about to happen "Is it awkward?". "Well let's just say after his ex Angelo went in to a dark place, he hated everyone and trusted no one" Mark hesitated. Ethan leaned forward "Mark, I want to understand Angelo please tell me". Mark nodded "Well it all started when Matt his ex was found with his underwear round his ankles, you have to understand that Matt was his first boyfriend who professed how much in love he was but his eyes didn't say it. Angelo was about to give everything up for him but that day threw him off completely, he sort of got revenge on him and literally dragged him out of the flat and left him there. Matt of course just went to one of his casual fuck buddies for a few days thinking it would all blow over but Angelo moved out and never saw him again. That was when he sought solace in the bathhouse, you know to get a quick fuck and release. He would just fuck the nearest hot looking guy and dispose of them once he finished, he never talked or acknowledged them after. Many nights I stayed with Angelo, purely from a friendship basis you understand. On the surface Angelo seemed pretty normal and got on building his company as a way to take his mind off personal things. Over the last few years he had put Matt out of his head and got back to a normal kind of life, he still went to the bathhouse a couple of times a week and by then had quite a reputation for I think you call it a dump and go. But he would never let anyone get close enough to him for fear of being hurt and pushed away again. Then you came along and what you have done in the last few weeks and how you've done it I do not know. But know one thing Angelo trusts me, apart from being his assistant we have a very close and personal friendship and I would go to any length to protect him". Ethan looked a little embarrassed "I see" he also knew that there was a warning in his last few words. Mark smiled at him "I like you, your sexy and your smile could kill anyone". "Are you gay?" Ethan blushed not really knowing why he blurted that out. Mark smiled "I don't know Ethan, why don't you tell me?". Ethan chuckled "Sorry I should keep my mouth shut. But honestly with your looks you could bag a hundred men". Mark laughed loudly "Fuck I knew I would like you, but I am straight, well I think so" he winked at Ethan. Ethan blushed and realised no man had ever really made him blush like this "And what if I kissed you?". Mark looked at him "Oh I would totally kiss you back but Angelo wouldn't be happy" nodding over to the office. Ethan looked down at his coffee "Tell me Mark what has he told you about me?". Mark smiled "Mostly everything I also know you moved in after a challenging time with your family". Ethan looked down "Oh right, do you mean from when we first met?". "Yes, but avoid embarrassing you I will sum it up in three words, virgin, hiv, love" Mark starred at Ethan. Ethan nodded "So you know everything". Mark held Ethan's hand "Do you hate him for what he did?". Ethan wiped the tear from his eye "Part of me did when he cared for me after the virus took hold." Mark nodded "What about now?" he asked inquisitively. Ethan looked up and smiled "I feel he will be the only man I will ever fall in love with or want". Mark smiled "The day you met he talked very openly about how attracted to you he was after the first kiss". Mark continued "I know we have only just met Ethan but you are very special to Angelo" Mark told him. Ethan smiled at Mark "He is to me as well". Mark stood "Come on, he gets cranky if he doesn't get coffee. Fuck you are hot Ethan" he laughed shaking his head. Angelo returned to his desk looking at Mark "Your sacked as your late with my coffee again". Mark put the coffee on Angelo's desk "Sit down and drink your coffee before I slap you". Ethan looked on astonished "Did I miss something?". Mark laughed and took Ethan's arm "He sacks me 5 times a day, 6 if I am lucky, come on". Mark gave Ethan a little tour of the office introducing him to the 10 people who were sat at their desks working, Mark also explained that 3 people were in the city at their newest clients company overseeing the set up. Ethan didn't get much studying done as he was so interested in learning about Angelo and his company, a few of the staff were gay and from all types of background and ages. Ethan sat in the car at the end of the day and two things for sure had happened, he knew a lot more about Angelo and what made him tick, he also had a new friend with Mark. Ethan got up to quite a bit of mischief with Mark in the office and Angelo was having trouble keeping them both in check whilst doing his own work. But seeing Ethan happy and getting on so well with Mark was all he could have hoped for, they both left the office and headed over to the car. Angelo got in the car and kissed Ethan "Did you have fun today?". Ethan laughed "Yes, I loved being with you and I really like Mark". Angelo smiled "I had better watch him in case he tries to steal you and turn gay". Ethan laughed "He said he would let me kiss him". Angelo mocked him before replying "Well you will have to let me know how that goes". Ethan looked at Angelo "Seriously?, hmmm, maybe one day I will" he laughed. "Yeah I would love to see you kiss Mark that would be hot to see" Angelo chuckled. Ethan laughed and went a little more serious "We talked a bit about you, hope you don't mind" Angelo looked at Ethan "Not I don't, he is a good friend and confident". Ethan nodded "Did you.. you know with him?". Angelo laughed "No, I helped him out of a bad patch with a girl, but that was years ago". Angelo continued "We are very good friends, he was there for me so I gave him a job to help him out". Ethan looked over at Angelo "You really are an amazing person underneath Angelo". Angelo smiled "You amaze me every day Ethan and it makes me love you more and more". They drove with the windows down enjoying the humid air that had descended that day, it was turning out to be one the warmest days so far. Ethan was glad when they got home and he just stripped and jumped in the pool to cool down, Angelo walked outside naked towards the pool, he looked at Ethan who wiped the water from eyes and drew a big smile seeing his fine sexy Latino about to join him. Angelo just loved seeing how Ethan's face lit up, he dived in the pool and surfaced right in front of Ethan who just fell in to his arms. Their lips tenderly kissing until Ethan close his lips over Angelo's and their mouths opened, Ethan moaned as he felt Angelo's tongue slipping in to his mouth eagerly seeking his own. Slowly Angelo walked over to the side of the shallow and hoisted Ethan on to the side of the pool, Ethan's legs were wrapped around Angelo's thighs, their kissing began to take on a more urgent desire as Angelo felt Ethan's legs caressing his thighs. Angelo forced a break from the kiss and whispered 'Oh fuck Ethan I need you', his mouth closed in and Ethan gripped tight around Angelo's neck as he felt his cock pushing his ass open with only one thing in mind. Ethan whimpered as he felt he fullness of Angelo entering his being. The two of them lost in their own world and Ethan threw his head back as Angelo kissed and bit at his neck, his hips providing a steady but forceful movement driving his cock deep into Ethan who moaned and closed his eyes. Ethan felt his body falling back with Angelo's support until he laid on the pool deck with his legs wrapped around Angelo who continued his steady fucking. Ethan raised his head and his hands grabbed hold of Angelo's arms, he ran his hands up along and over Angelo's biceps then along his chest. It turned in to one of those moments where Ethan was trying to control his orgasm but every time his hands ran over the biceps he lusted after nothing but his lover. Angelo leaned forward and kissed Ethan's chest and neck, his forehead came to rest on Ethan's sternum, his body tensed with a feeling of electricity as he cried out Ethan's name. Ethan could see nothing but felt everything the jolting of his hips and then engorging of the cock in his ass and pulsing that rippled from the very end of Angelo's cock in to his body as he shot volley after volley of his seed. Ethan had already orgasmed as they both lay there panting and gasping from the adrenaline running riot in their bodies. The sweat dripping off Angelo from the humid evening air landed on Ethan's chest and trickled on to the pool deck. Angelo giggled and looked up at Ethan who laid there in a dreamy state until he realised Angelo was smiling looking down at him, Ethan began to laugh at how crazy and erratic their love making was getting. Dispensing with all formalities and manners they just went for it every time they were alone. Angelo climbed out of the pool after releasing Ethan from his cock and laid down besides him, they looked up at the stars appearing in the night sky for some time until Angelo pulled Ethan up and they walked back to the house to grab something to eat. He knew they had just had sex by the smiling happy faces he could see through the kitchen window, Matt ducked quickly as Ethan came up close to the window above the sink looking out. When he was sure it was safe he retreated back down behind the cars and across the street then drove off. Ethan went back to the window, he didn't know why but he couldn't get it out of his head that they were not alone and this wasn't the first time he felt that way. Angelo laughed it off telling him to come to bed. As regular as clock work Adam came round at 8am as he was starting to work out with Ethan and Angelo in the mornings. The boys were still in the gym when Angelo appeared dressed for work. Ethan looked up and stopped lifting weights and sat up. "Are you off now?" Ethan asked. Angelo nodded "I should be home around 7pm". Ethan walked over and held his hand "Please don't do anything silly Angelo, promise me?". Angelo leant forward and kissed him "I promise Ethan, I am still angry with him for hitting you". "Drop it, it's over with, if he wants to make amends he can make the first move" Ethan looked Angelo in the eye. Angelo nodded "See you later" he called over to Adam "Later Adam". Adam stopped "Okay, Oh Tony wants to know if you want to dine out later with us?". "Won't be home until 7pm but yes would love to" Angelo replied as Ethan kissed him again. Ethan walked out to see Angelo off and Adam went to grab some water and joined him at the door, there it was again that nagging feeling as he waved at Angelo pulling out the drive. Ethan stopped and turned his focus on the silver car down the street. "What's wrong with you today you look jittery?" Adam asked slapping Ethan's ass. Ethan turned his head "I don't know I get this feeling we are being watched every now and then". Adam knew enough about Ethan to trust his instinct "Really, and you have it now?". "Yes" Ethan nodded. Angelo knew all the residents cars down his small street and the silver one looked curiously out of place, as he approached and drove slowly past it he was sure that the person in the driver seat had ducked down. He shook his head thinking he was seeing things, he turned the corner and headed to the city. Ethan and Adam walked back in the house and Adam could clearly see Ethan was not focused so they quit doing the weights and instead they went for a long walk around the marina. Angelo was somewhat dreading the day as he knew that Jack would be around at some point. Angelo made himself busy between his employees who were training the staff of Raffa's company. Raffa was delighted and his staff had nothing but positive things to say about the new system, Raffa had already seen an upturn in work load coming through. During the review meeting Raffa was only to happy to inform Angelo on how well it was going and so much so that he had put the word out amongst associate companies across the states he worked with. Raffa told Angelo that the companies were all community focused and diverse in culture just like Raffa's company as he knew Angelo would not do business with anyone unless they demonstrated the same principals. Jack was finalising some other legal work for Raffa when he walked in to the meeting room. He walked over greeting Angelo like an old friend holding his hand out, Angelo found it hard to resist raising his fist to punch Jack, instead he covertly tried to avoid eye contact and briefly shook his hand before Jack took his seat at the table. Raffa continued with the review and Angelo pulled all his focus to Raffa ignoring Jack until the meeting wrapped up with Raffa inviting them all to lunch in half an hour. As much as Angelo wanted to go to town on Jack he noticed that the Jack he had come to know was somewhat missing. As Raffa left Angelo flipped open his laptop to keep his mind busy, he noticed that Jack seemed to be holding back allowing other people to exit the room. "Angelo do you mind if we have a chat?" Jack asked closing the door. Angelo breathed and looked up at him "A quick chat yes as I have some work to finish". Jack sat down opposite him "It is a little personal but I hope you don't mind me asking". "Is something wrong Jack?" Angelo eyed him cautiously. Jack spoke quietly "How did your father react when you told him you were gay?". Angelo closed his laptop "That's a very personal and strange thing to ask, why are you asking?". "I have just found out my son is gay and didn't react to kindly to it" Jack was twiddling his fingers. Angelo looked at him "It doesn't change who is inside though, he is your son Jack". "I don't have anything against it but I never raised him to be gay or think that way" Jack responded. Angelo watched carefully "You don't just become gay, it is in you and part of you from birth". Jack looked at Angelo "I never really thought of it that way". "How did you know that you was straight and liked women?" Angelo sat back in his chair. Jack looked surprised "It was just a normal maturing process and felt right". "Do you not think that is how your son felt, did you stop to consider that?" Angelo asked. Jack didn't know what to say "You only hear the word gay". "So how did you react when you found out?" Angelo wanted him to tell him what he had done. Jack looked down "Badly, I struck him, shouted at him and told him to leave". "And was it that easy to disregard him like that?" Angelo was burning up inside. Jack shook his head "He hit me back and stood up for himself, I never got to say anything else, I was angry". Angelo shifted in his chair "Angry at who, you for not understanding or him for being himself?". Jack raised a smile "This is like a therapy session. I don't know, maybe both". "So why did you hit him and not talk to him properly like an adult?" Angelo asked. Jack looked at Angelo "I was brought up to understand that man should not lay with man". "The world has changed Jack, and if you don't change you become a relic of a bygone age" Angelo responded. Jack nodded "The damage is done, he won't speak to me now and I can't get through to him". Angelo saw a sadness in his eyes "Maybe you just have to give Ethan some space and let him figure it out". Jack looked up "I hope I can repair.." Jack stopped "how did you know his name is Ethan?". Angelo gulped realising his blunder and quickly thought "You must have mentioned his name before". Jack slowly nodded "Really!, hmm". Angelo picked his things up "Sorry Jack I have to check on my guys". Angelo hastily left the meeting room leaving Jack sat there, he rushed in to the restroom and splashed cold water on his then leaned back against the wall, fuck he said to himself over and over he knew that his blunder of dropping Ethan's name would not be forgotten by Jack so quickly. Jack stood up and closed the door and picked up his phone to call Ellie, he knew he had never mentioned Ethan's name as he would never reveal this knowingly to business associates. Jack put his phone down on the desk shaking his head, he had a good idea that Angelo knew Ethan more than he was letting on he felt some rage towards Angelo wondering if he had corrupted his son. Jack joined the rest of the team for lunch but Angelo was making himself busy with other people and it was pretty evident that he was trying to avoid Jack at all cost. At one point Jack laughed to himself at their cat and mouse game going on and decided to bide his time. Angelo sneaked out of the restaurant and made a quick call to Ethan. "Hello lover" Ethan's voice came through the phone. Angelo smiled to himself "Are you as sexy as ever?". "Always, what's up?" Ethan could hear a little tentativeness in Angelo. "I had a chat with your father, quite a long one actually" Angelo began. Ethan sighed "Has he calmed down?". "He seems to be, but I made a blunder and dropped your name". Ethan was quiet for a moment "Did he pick up on it?". "I think he did, I am trying to avoid him at the moment" Angelo nervously laughed. Ethan giggled "He can be like a dog with a bone. Don't worry Angelo whatever happens he has to deal with it". "Thank you, love you" Angelo hung up the phone and re-joined the group. The day was beginning to have lots and ups and down Angelo thought to himself as Raffa came over to chat. Jack had gone back to the office so he felt a little more at ease as Raffa went through some plans with Angelo for expanding the software usage, at one point Raffa even made an offer to buy the company outright but Angelo politely turned him down telling him no for now but never to rule it out. Angelo returned to the meeting room later in the afternoon to send some emails, fortunately Jack was no where to be seen. He finished the last email and stood up and closed his laptop, his back was to the door and in the windows reflection he saw Jack standing at the door watching him carefully. Angelo didn't turn around instead he looked at Jack through the reflection "When did you know?". Jack moved in and closed the door "You have just confirmed what I was suspecting". Angelo packed his laptop in to the bag "Oh". "Oh, is that all you have to say" Jack leaned back against the door. Angelo stood his ground "I am not going to do this with you now Jack, I am still angry with you". Jack scoffed "Angry with me?" Angelo turned to face him "The way you treated Ethan". "And you think it right to fuck around with my son, he is only just 18" Jack responded angrily. Angelo picked up his bag and phone and moved towards the door "Jack please move". "No, did you do it to him turn him gay after you met me?" Jack asked looking in to Angelo's eyes. "You want to talk about how really gay your son is Jack, you want all the details?" Angelo responded. Jack moved out of the way "Go on walk out and away from facing me". Angelo opened then closed the door "I'm not afraid to face you Jack, sit down" Angelo pulled a chair and sat down. Jack sat opposite him unsure if he was angry or confused "Thank you". "Ethan was so upset the night you threw him out" Angelo told him. He continued "It took several nights before he stopped reliving what went on and why you reacted the way you did". Jack stared at Angelo intently "Is he living with you?". Angelo nodded "Yes he is, as my partner Jack". Jack looked surprised "Your partner, how long have you been with him?". "We met on his 18th birthday but it was a couple of weeks after when it started to be serious" Angelo replied. Jack shuffled on his chair "So you didn't know he was my son?". He continued "It was only after seeing you that I realised he was your son, I gave him the option to end it then". Jack looked at Angelo "And he didn't?". Angelo shook his head "We had become to emotionally involved and we both love each other". Jack eyed his cautiously "Love?" Angelo hesitate a moment "You have an amazing very kind and loving son Jack, if only you could see that in him". "You think I don't my own son?" Jack appeared annoyed by Angelo's comment. Angelo nodded "I'm sorry but it looks that way, he loves you so much and you are still his father". "He has a strange way of showing it" Jack replied shifting again in his seat. Angelo look at him "I can't force you to accept it Jack, that is something you have to overcome". Jack stood up "I got to like you Angelo but never thought you were having sex with my son behind my back". "Trust me Jack, he never wanted to intentionally hide this" Angelo stood up. Jack stood up "If..., I can't believe I am having this conversation with you". Jack turned and left the meeting room and Angelo sat there for a few minutes looking out the window. His train of thought was interrupted by Raffa entering the room and closing the door. "Oh boy Angelo, what's going on between you two" Raffa sat down next to Angelo. Angelo glanced at Raffa "I don't think I should come on site any more Raffa". "You two not getting along, I know Jack is a tough screwball at times but he is a good lawyer" Raffa laughed. Angelo shook his head "It's way more complicated than that". Raffa patted Angelo's knee "You know Jack's son looks like him, but then I don't need to tell you that". Angelo looked at him "What?" Raffa laughed "You walked past my wife and I on the beach in the Hamptons a few weeks back". Angelo smiled "Really?". "You were so oblivious to everything else but him Angelo, I know love when I see it" Raffa smiled. Angelo stood up "So you know that Jack has figured it out as well". Raffa stood "That is Jack's problem to deal with Angelo". "Doesn't help though having to deal with me here now knowing what he does" Angelo replied. Raffa smiled "No but I pay him to deal with you, anyway you can't stop coming here on site". "Why not?" Angelo looked confused. Raffa laughed "Come on Angelo you know how much my staff love seeing you here, it makes their day". Angelo laughed embarrassingly "Maybe I should wear tight t-shirts then". Raffa laughed shaking his head "Err No, then I won't get any work out of them". Angelo was in a good place as he drove back to Larchmont, he knew that keeping in with Raffa would help drive his own business forward and of course he had Ethan waiting at home for him. Angelo only just got through the door when Ethan pounced on him asking what happened during the day. Angelo recalled the days events and how it was left with Jack walking out the room, Angelo could see the disappointment in Ethan's face as they changed into some casual clothes to join Adam and Tony for dinner. Adam listened intently during dinner to Angelo going through the day again, he needed to know what happened so that he could give his mother an update as she would be lunching with Ellie again this Friday. By the time they finished dinner Ethan's spirits had lifted, he thought it would be a miracle if his father came round so quickly and learning about Angelo today meant it would probably set things back. But he had Angelo and that is what counted. As the weeks sped by Ethan and Adam would work out religiously and also took to jogging around Larchmont, their friendship was closer than ever. At weekends the four of them would usually go to the beach or just chill out around the pool and BBQ, when Angelo and Ethan weren't around Adam would pop by and use the workout room first thing in the morning. Once a week they would drive up to Harrison and have lunch with their mothers, Sandra had taken Ellie under her wings and she was now very popular amongst the social set largely due to her becoming Sandra's best friend. Ethan would occasionally still get the jittery feeling of being watched but this mostly happened during the week and he put it down to Angelo going to work that left an empty hole for a few hours in his life whenever he walked out the door. It was the last weekend before college would resume and Ethan woke up on the Saturday morning still cuddled up to Angelo, he was not looking forward to going back to college and facing up to a lot of the students and of course Ben and Javier.

Loving this story! The depth of the characters is amazing and I am in love with Angelo. Dominant and aggressive but soft and compassionate when it counts.

3. Cum was dripping down the inside of my leg. My hole felt wet and slick, stuffed fill still with the plug. I turned around and sat down hard on the plug, pushing it deeper into my hole. I felt used. My cock was soft but still dripping precum. All I could thing about was how good my hole felt getting fucked, I wanted more. I needed more. I looked at my phone. Sir wouldn’t be free for another hour yet. Could I make it for another hour without even jerking off? A hunger had been awoken inside of me and it felt almost impossible to resist. Without realizing it I had started to bounce slowly on my couch, rocking my plug back and forth in my hole. A small moan slipped out of my mouth and I opened Scruff again. I messaged the daddy who just left to say thank you for breeding me, and then as I started to scroll Sir texted me. “How’s that pussy? I bet you just got it filled again, didn’t you boy?” How did he know! “I did Sir,” I texted back, “how did you know?” “A hungry cunt like yours can’t stay empty for long. Who bred you?” “A hung daddy from Scruff… honestly I didn’t ask his name.” “Good pig.” “Thank you, Sir.” “Are you still plugged?” “Yes Sir.” “Excellent. I’m done with work early. You ready to for Sir to work that pussy open more boy?” “Fuck yes, Sir!” “Come over now.” I grabbed the same clothes I had on earlier and pulled them on as quickly as I could. I practically ran out of the door. Quickly as I could, keeping the plug tight in my hole, I basically jogged to Sir’s apartment. I buzzed his door and the door clicked open. When I got to his apartment door it opened before I could knock, and there he stood again, completely naked, his magnificent cock half hard already. He grabbed me by my shirt and dragged me inside. Still holding my shirt, he shoved his tongue in my mouth, his other hand drifting to my ass quickly finding the plug in my hole and pushing on it. I moaned into his mouth as he worked the plug in my hole. He broke the kiss just as suddenly as he had started it and practically ripped my shirt off over my head. I shoved my pants down, and kicked my shoes off without pulling away from his grasp and Sir growled his approval. “I could tell you were going to be a good pig. You’re going to make an excellent cunt.” He spun me around and shoved me against the wall. “Stick that ass out for me boy.” I obeyed, shoving my ass towards him and arching my back, my arms braced against the wall. I had expected him to play with the plug, maybe eat me out again. What he did however was like nothing I had ever felt. He pulled the plug part way out of my hole, lobbed a big glob of spit onto my open hole and then shoved two fingers in next to the plug. Slowly he worked his fingers in and out of my hole, forcing more and more of the plug back into me till finally I had both the fully knotted plug and two of Sir’s thick fingers stretching my hole. I was like putty in his hands, whimpering and moaning as he ruined my hole. “Look at those nice pussy lips starting to form. This is going to be an amazing cunt. I’m going to ruin you boy. You’re going to be nothing but a wet loose hole for men to breed. Is that what you want boy?” “Yes Sir! Ruin me please." “Good boy. You couldn’t help yourself this afternoon, could you? You needed more cock.” “I did Sir.” “I bet your cock hasn’t stopped dripping precum since you left here.” “It hasn’t Sir! I'm so horny.” “Perfect, and I know just the way to keep you like that. Come with me boy.” Holding the plug in place, Sir pulled his fingers from my hole and led me into the kitchen. “Stand right there boy.” Sir went to the freezer and pulled a handful of ice out, along with a small clear plastic object I couldn’t quite make out. With a wicked smile on his face Sir walked back to me and grabbed hold of my cock with his hand full of ice. It was so cold I gasped and tried to pull away but Sir held firm. “Stay still boy, I’m not going to hurt you. I just need to get your boy dick to go down a little.” I tried to steady my breathing and relax. Slowly I felt my dick going soft in his freezing hand. After what seemed like forever he took his hand away and then, tossing the ice into the sink, started to pull my cock and balls through what looked like a clear cock ring. Then he pushed a small clear shaft over my cock, it too was cold and I my cock shrunk a little bit more. Sir pushed the sheath over my cock and then connected it to the cock ring. He produced a small cylinder on a key from somewhere and locked the two together. I now had a small clear cock cage locked over my cock. “Now you can only cum when I want you to.”

Part 10 - The Date Angelo pulled up to his house just before his sister Maria and brother-in-law Hunter arrived, they were popping in on their way up to Boston for a long weekend. It was only a quick visit for a coffee and chat but whenever they could they would meet up at least once a week. Being a couple of years older than Angelo she had a close bond with him where they always shared everything and had no secrets. As they stood at the front door Hunter was checking the car over before they set off. Maria grabbed Angelo's arm and looked at him. "You have found someone haven't you?" She said starring in to his eyes. Angelo smiled shaking his head "How do you do that?". "I know you way to well, your eyes give everything away Angelo" Maria responded. Angelo nodded "I think so, but it is early we have our first real date tonight". "Take down your barriers Angelo, let him see the real you if you want it to work" She patted his hand. "Always wise with your words Maria" he replied kissing her on the cheek. Maria held him "He must be quite special if he has got that close to you". She turned and joined her husband in the car, they waved as they pulled out the driveway, Angelo stood watching as the car disappeared, he knew his sister was right about everything. The one thing he didn't really know for sure was how Ethan really felt, being so young and new to gay life weather he would even be in the mindset to have a boyfriend. Angelo went back in to the house he had some work to catch up on and had a busy week coming up as his team would be implementing the software at the company in the city and it had to go well. But first he booked a table at one of the nicer restaurants in Larchmont on the waterfront for 8pm. He sent a text to Ethan telling him trousers and shirt for their date. Ethan stopped doing his coursework and picked up his phone and smiled at the text he received from Angelo and sent a smiley face back to him. He gazed out of his bedroom window musing how different his life was becoming but then thought about his parents and knew that would be a challenge. Looking at his phone it was already 6pm, putting his work away he undressed and went to get ready. He packed his beach gear, shorts, t-shirt and a toothbrush and headed downstairs to wait for Angelo. As usual on the dot Angelo turned up and smiled his heart skipped a beat seeing Ethan dressed smartly, he got out of the car and walked over towards him. "Wow, you look amazing Ethan" Angelo kissed him on the lips. Ethan blushed a little "Thanks and you look as hot as ever and so different Angelo, not to overdressed am I?". Angelo smiled "No, just perfect. Come on". They chatted about tomorrow and spending the day on the beach as they drove back to Larchmont, Ethan suddenly remembered his dreams of Angelo and him on a beach walking in the surf. Angelo glanced at Ethan noticing he had gone quiet for a moment he smiled to himself seeing that Ethan was miles away but with a smile on his face. They pulled up to Angelo's house and deposited his belongings inside. Angelo waited for Ethan to come downstairs "It is a short walk to the restaurant, ready to go?". "Oh are we going out for dinner?" Ethan asked looking surprised. Angelo nodded "Yes, I am taking you out for dinner". They walked the 15 minutes down the lane and around the marina to the restaurant, the waiter showed them to a table on the outside veranda overlooking the marina. They both ordered steak and out of respect Angelo ordered a soft drink for himself as well. Although not a big drinker he did enjoy wine when chilling out or eating, throughout the meal Ethan smiled and just loved the way Angelo's body looked through his white shirt, the muscle definition in his arms accentuated by his choice of shirt. "What's so funny that your smiling about?" Angelo put his fork down as he finished. Ethan put his lemonade down "I love watching you". Angelo laughed "You are a naughty boy Ethan, and in a place like this". "God I want to kiss you Angelo" Ethan rested his head in his hands on the table looking at him. Angelo eyed him carefully "So do it". "Eh, what now, with all these people around?" Ethan looked surprised but amused. Angelo knew this would test if Ethan did have feelings for him "What are you afraid of?". "Not this" Ethan replied and leant over and kissed Angelo for several seconds. Margarite sat with her husband inside the restaurant she had noticed Ethan arriving with the tall hunky Latin man. She was very friendly with Ethan's mother Ellie and lunched with her at least once a week, she was also Ben's mother one of Ethan's best friends. She kept glancing to where they sat outside at one of the best tables. She dropped her fork on the floor seeing Ethan lean over and kiss the man, not just any kiss but a lovers kiss that lingered. Her husband enquired why she was so distracted during dinner, she brushed it off and laughed making the excuse that she kept thinking about the 4th July party she was organising. Angelo smiled at Ethan "Are you not afraid of anything then?". "You, I mean a little, I still tread carefully around you" Ethan sat back down looking at him. Angelo's smile faded "Why Ethan?". "Well it has been a bit rocky and I don't really know how I stand with you sometimes" Ethan looked at his plate. Angelo held Ethan's hand "Nothing can change what happened Ethan, but I don't want you feeling like that". Ethan looked up at Angelo "I am not scared of you just cautious but that is fading the more I know you". Angelo rubbed Ethan's hand "Do you want to get to know me better?". "Yes, I like being with you" Ethan blushed but chose his words carefully. Angelo looked at Ethan smiling at him "You have one of the most disarming smiles Ethan" Ethan giggled "Is that good?". "Melts my heart every time" Angelo leaned over and kissed Ethan. They ordered coffee and Margarite watched as she put her jacket on to leave the restaurant, how strange she thought that Ethan was dining so far out of Harrison, the other side wondered if Ellie even know her son was gay, she couldn't wait for her to return from the Hamptons and have lunch with her. The waiter finished serving coffee to Angelo and Ethan and walked away. "So what business are you in if you know my father" Ethan asked. Angelo smiled and began to unravel "Software, I run my own software company". "Must be nice running your own business" Ethan enthused. Angelo giggled "I like running it and it has proved to be a wise choice for me". "My father has set out my education to take law, but I don't want to do it" Ethan sounded a little down. Angelo looked at him "But it get's you a good education, what about your mother?". Ethan laughed "She keeps setting me up with daughters of some the richer people in Harrison". Angelo laughed "Why is that I wonder?". "Social climbing, that's all she is after" Ethan looked up "she will have a surprise though". They both laughed and continued talking until they got back to Angelo's house, it was already gone 11pm when they finally arrived and clambered up the stairs into the bedroom. Angelo stood in front of Ethan and kissed him gently and began to undress Ethan folding his clothes up as he took them off. Ethan reached up and starred Angelo in the eyes as he unbuttoned the shirt then the trousers and underwear. They stood looking at each other for a moment with no words Angelo picked Ethan up and carried him to the bed, Angelo knew that Ethan was tired he turned the light off and cuddled up to Ethan, both of them were sleeping within minutes. Ethan woke first and carefully slipped out of bed and went downstairs to make coffee, on his return he put the cups down and slipped back in to bed thinking he done it without waking Angelo. He felt Angelo's arm pulling him so he turned over to see Angelo awake, happily he fell into his arms and kissed Angelo deep and lovingly just how he had been discreetly taught. "Thank you for a lovely night Angelo" Ethan smiled stroking Angelo's face. Angelo sniffed "You made coffee?". "Tried to" Ethan giggled a bit before Angelo locked his lips on Ethan's mouth. Angelo rolled on top and looked at Ethan "We should get up". Ethan draw a sad face "Really?". Angelo laughed "I know what you want but you will have to wait for the second date". "You want to take me on a second date then?" Ethan asked smiling. Angelo kissed him "Yes and a third and so on". Ethan pushed Angelo off on his back and climbed on top kissing him with even more passion, Angelo wrapped his arms around Ethan and rolled him back continuing their kiss until Ethan rolled Angelo back over. Eventually stopping as they were kissing and laughing in each others mouth, Angelo flipped Ethan on his stomach and slapped his ass telling him to get in the shower. Angelo followed Ethan in and they washed each other as they kissed, Angelo turned the water off and began to towel Ethan dry. "Angelo I love seeing you like this" Ethan pushed back closer to Angelo. Angelo continued drying Ethan "Like what?". "You know, the fun side of you, but I also kind of like the edgy rough side as well" Ethan replied. Angelo slapped Ethan's ass handing him the towel "Always handy to know". They sat eating a light breakfast and Angelo was cleaning up when they heard the boys car pulling up the drive. Angelo and Ethan sat in the back and after 30 minutes Ethan fell asleep in Angelo's arms. Adam looked back and smiled. They stopped at the first beach at the start of the Hamptons and found a nice spot that was still pretty quiet. Angelo carried the picnic hamper down and set it on the blanket, the four of them stripped to their swim wear and went running down to the sea. Adam decided to taunt Angelo and tried running off as Angelo stormed through the water catching him around his waist and hoisted him in the air before dropping him in the sea. Tony and Ethan laughed as they swam watching how brave Adam was trying to be. Adam laughing wiped the salty water from his face as Angelo picked him up again so he was to face with Angelo, Adam protested saying enough and that he would stop taunting him. Angelo released him to his feet and leant forward and kissed him full on. "Ooops" Tony remarked looking at them. Ethan smiled "Now that's hot". Tony sort of smiled "You don't mind?". Ethan put his arm around Tony and kissed his head "No, after all Adam kisses me and you don't mind". Tony looked at Ethan "No, just very jealous though". Ethan laughed "Why didn't you say so" he moved in front of Tony and kissed him as only Ethan knew. Tony shook his head "Holy fuck Ethan you kiss amazingly, now I know what Adam means". Ethan laughed as he head Adam and Angelo approach "You have Angelo to thank for that". Angelo picked Ethan up and looked at Tony "You kissed my boy Tony". Tony looked unsure if Angelo was joking "Sorry didn't mean to Angelo but you kissed mine". Angelo put Ethan down and moved towards Tony "I guess I have to kiss you as well then". Tony laughed and opened his arms "Bring it on" so Angelo did. The four of them waded to shore as they noticed the beach was getting a little busier. Angelo grabbed Ethan's hand and asked if he wanted to walk along the beach. Adam and Tony went back to their spot to sunbathe. Ethan felt strange but very real walking along a public beach holding hands with another guy, he was loving the gentle surf lapping at his ankles. All of a sudden he had a feeling of deja vous and his dreams came back to him in a flash, he chuckled wondering if he had predicted the future as the similarities were uncanny. Angelo looked at him "What are you giggling about?". "Nothing really, just how much of a good time I am having with you and the others" he replied. Angelo smiled "Ready to walk back?". "I think so, getting hungry" Ethan said as he turned on the spot. Angelo pulled Ethan towards him and looked him in the eye, he leaned forward and kissed him. Ethan placed his hands around Angelo's waist and happily kissed him back for several moments, the final piece of the dream had shown its hand. A young couple coming out of the sea walked within a few meters of where they stood, she turned and called them a beautiful couple before turning to her husband and kissing him. Angelo was oblivious to them but Ethan looked over and smiled at them before they continued their walk back down the beach to join Adam and Tony who were preparing the food Angelo brought. Ethan laid back in the lap of Angelo thinking the day could not be any more perfect, Adam ever the restless one held his hand out to Ethan to come for a swim leaving Angelo and Tony sunning themselves. Tony sat up and looked at Angelo "You really like him don't you?". Angelo looked surprised by his comment "Why would you think that?". "The way you look at him" Tony responded thinking he should have kept quiet. Angelo looked at Ethan in the sea with Adam "More than I wanted to". "Does he know?" Tony asked pouring Angelo a lemonade. Angelo took the cup of lemonade "I don't know, sometimes the way he looks at me I think he does". "You know he talks about you all the time now" Tony laid back down. Angelo looked at Tony "I don't think he understands how much I love him". Tony sat bolt upright "Did you mean that?". "Mean what?" Angelo looked confused. "You just said how much you love him" Tony replied looking at him. Angelo turned to look at Ethan "I trust you won't say anything Tony?". "No I will keep it between us, but... oh, nothing" Tony watched Ethan. Angelo looked at Tony "Come on you can be open with me Tony". "You probably don't need advice from me" Tony ran his hands through the sand. Angelo laughed "Give me your advice and let me see". "Don't let it eat you up or regret not saying anything to Ethan how you feel" Tony told him. Angelo sighed "I don't think he is at a relationship stage in his life". Tony stood up and held his hand out to Angelo "Come on lets swim". Angelo stood "Okay". "Angelo you might be surprised, Ethan is no wild child and he is loves being with you" Tony looked him in the eye. Angelo put his arm around Tony "I don't want to rush him, he has to be certain it is what he wants". Tony stopped "Ethan told Adam about a dream he has nearly every night involving you". "Seriously?" Angelo looked a little taken back. Tony laughed "Yes, funny enough it involved you and him on a beach and a kiss". Angelo smiled and walked down to the sea with Tony, Adam and Ethan were fooling around splashing as they say the other two approaching and decided to turn and splash them. Ethan putting a brave face on started stepping back as Angelo lunged forward and grabbed him lifting him up and kissing him. "Not so brave now are you" Angelo laughed as Ethan still tried to splash him. Ethan struggling called to Adam "I need reinforcement Adam". Adam waded over "Not a chance Ethan" laughing as he moved away with Tony. Angelo held Ethan up in a bearhug refusing to let him go until he finally gave up and kissed him. Angelo still held Ethan and started walking back to shore, Ethan rested his head against Angelo's shoulder and neck, his arms holding firmly around Angelo's neck. "I've had one of the best days ever" Ethan muttered as they reached the shore. Angelo put Ethan down "You brought so much happiness back in to my life Ethan". Ethan grabbed Angelo's hand as they walked to join Tony and Adam who were starting to pack away. Angelo invited Adam and Tony for dinner as they piled in to the car for the trip back to Larchmont.

IMVHO You should do all the best to make sure you minimize the chances to catch a stds, so You can focus on having fun, get tested regularly to make sure that if something happens, you react and cure it as soon as possible, as fast as possible. I'd like to share my message from another thread: - HPV-9 vaccination; - Hepatitis A + B vaccination; - To reduce Hep C try to follow NoMoreC guidlines ; - Quadrivalent anti-flu vaccination at the beginning of november every year (yes, not really STDS related, I know :P); - Flush your mouth with this before fun to reduce gonorrhea risk; - PREP everyday; - Use a lot of lube; - Avoid washing too aggressively and always uses a nourishing cream in order to keep the skin soft and elastic, thus reducing the risk of micro-cracks; - Take a supplement with probiotics and prebiotics together like this ; And You got a really good protection against the most severe MST. Have fun!

Also, find a guy you REALLY like and ask him to fuck you as much as humanly possible every day

Black Males have been my favorite since I was nineteen years old. I grew up in a town in Colorado that didn't have any Black People. The only Black Cocks I had seen were in Porno movies and Gay Magazines. The first porn I ever saw was of a petite blonde white girl get gangbanged by a bunch of Muscular Black Males. Watching straight porn of Black Males fucking white Holes still gets me off. Seriously, I'm jealous of the white girl. When I was 19, my father made me move to Belton, TX. I was like a kid in a candy store, there was Black Cocks everywhere. My parents thought it wasn't a good thing for a white boy to be hanging around Black Males, they were worried about what the neighbors would think. So I moved out and into an apartment in Temple, TX and began to find places I knew Black Males would hang out at. I went to a kegger with my sister and while I was in the bushes peeing met a 18 year old Senior from Belton High School named Jerry who stood next to me to see to. I couldn't help myself, I tried to be sneaky and take a look at his Cock. He asked me if I liked what I saw and told me I could touch it if I wanted. Do I did, it began to thicken and grow longer just from my touch. He told me his name was Jerry and that his Black Cock seemed to like me. Jerry suggested that we move farther into the woods and told me to follow him. Once he found a place we wouldn't be bothered he unbuttoned his shorts and dropped them to his feet. He asked if I'd ever see Balls as big as his, I told him not on a white male. He told me that Black Boys make more Cum, so that's why they needed bigger Balls. Jerry asked me if I had ever Sucked a Cock before. I said yes, but never a Black one. He pushed me down to my knees and told me to enjoy myself. While I was examining his Tool, I realized that the reason my father had warned me about Black Males was because he probably knew I was a faggot and that eventually I would figure out that being told growing up that the men in his family had the biggest Dicks around. But by looking at Jerry I knew that my father and my grandpa lied to me and that they as white males knew that I would go on and find bigger Pricks than I grew up on. It felt so natural to wrap the pretty mouth everyone told me I had around the Head of Jerry's teenage Cock and Suck. I was instantly rewarded with a thick stream of Pre-Cum and a moan from Jerry. He let me take my time and enjoy my first Black Cock. I've been addicted to Black Males and their Cocks ever since. I quit Sucking white Dicks for a long time until I figure out that I really like Cum the most and get Cum Loads wherever I can. But when I'm really horny I go to the places and neighborhoods where I know I will find Black Males. Because Black Males don't care who's Hole they stick their Cocks in, offering a Black stranger a NSA Blowjob is always a good thing. When my father was alive I used to send him videos to his email address of me Sucking off Black Males. I made sure to always thank him for making it possible for me to discover Jerry and all the Black Studs of Texas and that just because he was my father I would always remember how he taught me to Suck Dick, but that I'd always take Back Meat over his and Grandpa's. White males are fascinated by Black Cock and under the right circumstances any white male can be persuaded to at least try playing with a Black Cock. But some of us, got lucky and continue to get lucky whenever white Cocksucking faggots get to service Black Males.

THE SECOND SERVICE I arrived promptly at 6pm as instructed, wearing the proper church attire, and knocked three times as before. The Father immediately opened the door, wearing nothing but his rainbow-colored scarf. His cock was in a semi state of arousal but generally hanging. Something was different this time though. The father had a rather large PA in his cock. He saw the look of excitement in my eyes, and greeted me into his temple. I was led to the kneeling bench, where I was instructed to disrobe, and worship his holy post. I had sucked a cock with a PA before, but never one this large. As his post enlarged, he began to aggressively face fuck me. His PA hitting and clanging against my teeth. After about 10 minutes, he withdrew his raging cock from my mouth, and once again removed a filled chalice, to which he said, “drink ye all of it.” I quickly obliged, and once again felt a wonderful feeling rush through my body. My pathetic cock started to strain within its cage, and became somewhat painful. Father then instructed me to lay over the bench with my ass high in the air. I then once again felt his fingers stretching my ass, and the name familiar feel of sharp chards being shoved up my hungry and needy ass. The Father simply said, take this body for your conversion into the faith. Once again, the Father reached under the cloth, and brought out a familiar brown bottle. He explained that my conversion to the faith was not meant to be painful, but I would need these for the blessing that I was about to receive. My mind was already racing, and as he held the bottle to my nose, I felt a familiar warm rush through my body. When he felt that I was ready, he asked if I was ready to receive the blessing that I desired. Of course I was. His rather large cock with its PA still worried me, however I knew it would help me receive the blessing that I desired. With that the Father pulled apart my quivering ass cheeks, using only spit as a lube. He immediately thrust his cock into me balls deep, and although it hurt, it was a good kind of hurt. He pounded my ass hard for a good 15 minutes, most of the time while chanting something in Latin. I could tell when he was ready to shoot his poison deep inside me, yet he asked if I was ready for the blessing I was to receive. As I said Yes Father, I could feel his seed flooding my ass. He remained inside me, still hard for a good 5 minutes or so. Before he pulled out, he once again reached under the covered alter, and removed a rather large butt plug, emblazoned with a biohazard symbol on its base. He withdrew his cock, and quickly inserted the plug up my ass. Although his cock was large, the plug was much thicker. I could feel his precious seed leaking down my leg as he inserted the plug. He immediately began licking the cum from my leg, and instructed me to roll over. As I did, the Father put his lips to mine, saying that precious seed was not to be wasted. Afterwards, I was instructed to thoroughly clean his holy post. It was once again covered in a red frothy seed, much more red than out first time. After the cleaning, Father instructed me to get dressed, and to keep the plug in me for at lest 24 hours. He thanked me for attending services, and asked if I would be back for Sunday service and I said yes Father. A wide smile came across his face as I said that. He said that I was becoming a loyal member of the church, and that Sunday was a special religious holiday, and that I would be meeting other church Elders then. He instructed me to wear my usual church attire, and to make sure that the plug was inside me upon arrival. With that he patted me on my head, and said “depart in friendship.”

The Confessional: I was led to the confessional by hand, and as I came to find out, it was a closet, with a glory hole cut into the door. I heard the door open, and close, and then was instructed to remove my hood. After removed, the priest asked me what my confession was. I told him that I was looking to become poz, and that I was recently seeded by several toxic tops. The Father asked me why I thought it was a sin, as I was chasing, and took several anonymous poz loads. I explained to the Father that although I was looking to become positive, I wanted to know who my gifter was. The Father told me that although I could have already become positive it would be considered an “Immaculate Conception” and that I was not to worry about it, and that although it was not a sin in his eyes, immediately told me that I must repent and then there was total silence. A cock then poked through the glory hole, and he instructed to take his holy post for his forgiveness. Its was hard to tell through the glory hole, but he seemed to have 8+ inches of dripping uncut meat. As I continued to devour his holy post, he said “good alter boy.” Through his voice, I could tell that a massive load was building, and it wouldn’t be long before I received my gift. His cock suddenly withdrew from the glory hole, and he instructed me to turn around and put my ass up to the glory hole to receive my repentance. I quickly obliged, and within 5 minutes, his pace quickened and I felt his cock pulsing inside me as he told me to prepare for his blessing. After remaining in me for a few minutes, he instructed me to turn around and clean his holy post. As I did, I could taste the salty taste of cum, mixed in with the coppery taste of blood. With that, he told me it was time to meet my new pastor.

Part 14 After Justin pulled out it was time for the each member of the group to take a turn at seeding the straight boy’s ass. All the while keeping him extremely high and filling his head with the idea that he would only be sexually satisfied by a cock in his ass. Jason knew he was getting fucked, his brain struggling with the conflict of disgust and the pleasure he was receiving. What he didn’t know was that each load given to him had that extra special ‘gift’. The figured to slowly expose him to the truth that they were not only turning him into a bareback bottom, but a pozzing his straight, neg ass (a double conversion). It was well into Saturday afternoon even they finally let him out of the sling to have a break, get some food in him before continuing his double conversion. Jason could feel humans coming down from the drugs and surprised the group by asking, “Think I can get another one of those slams before I start getting fucked again?” When Justin hard his brother’s request he looked him in the eye and asked, “Is my little bro starting to like getting fucked while high?” Jason couldn’t deny the transformation he was experiencing as he willingly climbed back into the sling, held out his arm and simply said, “Yes, slam me up and fuck me please.” If Jason was asking for a slam, the group figured he should get a double slam, one in each arm. That would send him higher then he’d been to that point. As Jason watched then apply the tourniquet to his right arm he felt the other arm being worked on. With a number of the group watching the administering of the double slam he knew not to question or resist. Both points were inserted almost simultaneously as they counted down “3-2-1” and both points are emptied together into Jason’s veins. The tourniquet on the right arm was removed first. Jason felt the familiar warmth into his chest followed by a strong cough. As his rush began the tourniquet on the left arm was removed. Jason was not prepare for the additional meth. He coughed out hard 4-5 times and could barely focus on anything going on around him as he drooled and attempted to speak. Some around him thought to hear him say “Oh fuck yeah” others thought he said “Oh fuck me”. Either way, Jason was again getting fucked as each and every member there dropped dirty load after dirty load inside Jason’s ass. By this point Jason was definitely enjoying getting fucked as he clearly was moaning in pleasure with every thrust have into him. A little over an hour later he started become more coherent and was clearly heard saying, “Come on, fuck that ass. Give me that cock of yours. I need you to fucking breed me.” David was fucking him at this point and figured now was as good of a time as any to let the formerly straight jock know what he was really getting. Looking down at Jason without breaking his fuck stride David asked, “Does our jock boy like getting fucked? You gonna take dick in your ass from now on? Is Jock boy through with female pussy? You ready to be our bareback bottom cum dump?” David punctuated each question with a hard and deep thrust. Jason would answer after each question, “Yes”. It’s was the last question that caught him a little bit by surprise when David asked, “Are you ready to get pregnant? Ready for my gift? You ready for another dirty load of cum? Ready for my high poz viral load?” Jason knew from the start that every guy who fucked him was fucking him bare. Hell that’s how he fucked the girls from school, of the girls he fucked thought he got her pregnant only for her to have her period a week later. But now he was the one getting fucked raw and hacking guys shoot their cum inside his body. Seeing a slight look of shock on his younger brother face Justin leaned in towards his brother telling him, “That’s right little bro, after we’re done with you this weekend you’re going to be just like the older bro, a cock craving gay bareback, HIV positive bottom. You’ll be laying in bed from now not just thinking about a cock in your ass, but a bare, raw cock that will eventually gives you exactly what you need besides a good fucking. It will give you the cum you truly want.” As much as the thought of being HIV positive upset Jason, he knew deep then that he was having the next sex in his young life. He looked up at David, who was getting close to delivering his toxic load, and said, “FUCK! Give me your dirty load. Get me fucking pregnant.” That was all David needed to hear as he slammed balls deep into Jason and emptied his balls into the new cum dump, bareback bottom.

Since converting a short time ago, I've been suspended for posting in the wrong place. So here is an update. I met to young black guys, in my local area. They Are both poz. I invited them to fuck me, while I was converting. But ended in hospital with pneumonia. When I got back home, they came over to help me get back on my feet. I wanted them to fuck me. But told me to wait until I got better. I met them last weekend at the pride parade. They had a cute white boys with them. He's 18 but looks like 14. He told me the to black guys had agreed to poz him. I invited them to my place to do the deed.

#Punaman ... you open the Pandora-box with this question ... if it was worth it ... You are right ... a lot of guys chase the danger, the thrill... and love it when they are horny to have Poz talk ... to know that they have sex with a Poz-top ... In my experience most POZ-Tops are on medication nowadays and talking with them often reveals that at one point they fell so sick, that they ended up in hospital - close to death ... and that the doctors put them on meds and that they then re-evaluate their prospect - LIFE or DEATH ... and choose LIFE ... that is why most men with HIV nowadays are on meds ... and talking with a health-worker in the Aids-clinic recently I was told that only very few cases are full blown Aids nowadays... as medicine has improved so much, that HIV/Aids is no longer a death sentence, like it was in the last century ... #Hangrystarfish - THANK YOU for such a detailed account !!! and that you share YOUR STORY with us... I love your honest words and one read so much in your text, which you write between the lines!!! WELL DONE !

I can't decide if this is a legitimate request for perspective and knowledge or if it's bait to start what would very easily descend into a very heated argument over stigma and semantics. "Was it worth it?" Was what worth it? Are you asking about the initial transmission of HIV or are you asking if not seeking treatment and allowing HIV to progress unhindered to the point where an AIDS diagnosis is given? Either way, I know I personally wasn't gambling the pleasure of a particular situation against the risk of contracting HIV, and my decision to stop taking antiretroviral therapy was a conscious one made after much deliberation and with full understanding that AIDS was an inevitability if I continued to abstain from meds. It was three-and-a-half months after my 18th birthday that I started dating the man who, as I came to discover much later, intentionally gave me the virus without my knowledge. In the spring of 1993, having enlisted in the US Navy and tested into the nuclear program, I received a call back to MEPC to speak with the Chief Medical Officer, who relayed to me that my tests had come back positive for the HIV virus, and as such, my oath and enlistment were revoked. He told me I wasn't eligible to serve because active military personnel must be able to donate blood to other soldiers or to civilians in times of war. By the time I tracked down my (by then) ex-boyfriend, he had infected 11 other young men and had committed suicide rather than endure the pain of a slow death from AIDS complications. I was surreptitiously infected with HIV so long ago that I have lived more years with the virus than I'd lived without it. All of the important little psychological finishing touches that happen as adolescent males become mature into fully grown adults were shaped by the stigma and shame surrounding my diagnosis. Fast forward 25 years, past two failed suicide attempts and the deaths of most of the friends and acquaintances I'd known from back then. Perhaps you can understand the state of mind I was in when I decided one day to stop taking HIV meds and just let the virus do what it would until the end finally came. An end, I might mention, that I'd been anticipating for most of those 25 years, coming to terms time and time again with the eventual reality of a death much like the agonizing, humiliating one you describe in your post. When you've had that long to ponder such an end, even trying twice to beat Death to the punch, the concept of dying becomes much less frightening. Last January (2017), I had been off of all HIV medications for 4 years. An unfortunate run in with the flu motivated me to visit an Urgent Care, where they discovered my CD4 count was down to only 30. Soon thereafter I developed a case of thrush, which led to another visit with a doctor for the necessary prescription. Thiat time I walked out with an AIDS diagnosis on my medical record and a lengthy scolding from a particularly insightful Infectious Diseases specialist. I wasn't in any pain. I led a normal, active life and had no issues with mobility or cognition. I fed myself maybe too well and never had trouble drinking. Looking at me, no one would have considered it even possible that I had AIDS. But I did. It was in May of last year that I decided I wasn't ready anymore to let the virus have me. I wasn't done with life. There were things I still wanted to do. So I got back on meds and started to rebuild my immune system. It took me being vigilant in taking my medicine every single day for over 7 months to finally get my CD4 count back above the 200 cell threshold, even though the viral load immediately went undetectable. Was what worth it? Considering the fact that I'm no better or worse off today than that naive 19-year-old boy was back in 1993 when he was first diagnosed, I'm having trouble framing the context of your question. Has the stigma beat the shit out of my confidence and self-esteem over the past two-and-a-half decades? You bet your ass it has, at every turn and from every direction. Has the virus won? Not yet, that motherfucker hasn't. I control the virus now, not the other way around. And I'm past the point where ignorance and fear in other folks' reactions can bruise or batter my sense of self-worth. Those ugly flaws are now reflections of their value, not mine. I'm happy to educate and always forthcoming about my status with every potential sex partner I meet. I can't even pass up an oddly worded post in an online discussion forum without taking the time to address the topic of HIV/AIDS. ;-P

I love drinking piss

Had to think hard about that one. First one who came to mind was George Clooney. But then I thought about Greek prime minister Alexis Tsipras. I don't think he would mind plowing an ass when he can get away from his bossy wife. And going Greek is how it started isn't it? LOL. But I also fantasize about random guys from pics I found on the web. Like some of these:

Damn, I was horny that night. And I was tired of the same old tail here in Jersey. So I made the decision to go into The City (New York, that is) to get me some new boi tail. Cleaned up, got into the pickup truck, lit a cigarette, and I was on my way. I had posted a notice of my intentions on barebackcity.com in hopes that someone fitting the description of what I wanted would call me on my cell phone on the way. I got all the way into Manhattan, and the calls were sparse, and not promising so far. So I went into a local gay pub in the West Village, and had a drink. The usual crowd. I went back out to my truck parked outside on Christopher St., and checked my cell phone voicemail. THERE HE WAS!!! "Hi, my name is ___ and I'm 24 years old, blonde, blue eyes, slender, and a bottom. Please come over to my apartment at _____ and you can call me at _____." It didn't take me but a few seconds to call him back and turn my truck around to the East Side towards his place. He met me at the door, and my jaw dropped. DAMN, what a pretty boi! Tall and lean, smooth and creamy-skinned, a boyishly handsome face and big pools of medium blue eyes that I could've drowned in. We made very little small talk, but took a minute to burn one. Then it was OFF to his bedroom and OFF with the clothes. He sucked on my already hard dick, which I enjoyed seeing going in and out of those thick sweet young lips. Then I jumped on top of him, and started making out with this hottie...kissing him deeply on the mouth, our tongues darting in and out as we began the dance of male bonding that only guys like us can know. Finally, I had to taste that ass. He got up on all fours on his bed, and I was presented with an absolutely perfect lilly-white ass with a sweet little pink asshole surrounded with just enough dark blonde hair. With my mouth watering, I dove in and ate that hot boi ass for all I was worth...licking it, chewing on it, savoring the musky boi smell and taste that I was getting from him. It was time to get inside him. Getting up on the bed behind him while he was still on all fours, I mounted him from the rear. Oh, man, it was hot, sweet, and tight in there. He indicated that I should go a little slower, so I gave him time to adjust to my 8+ inches. Finally my pubes were resting against his smooth young asscheeks, and I began to slowly saw in and out of my boi. It suffices to say that this topman was in Heaven at that moment, and the best was yet to come (or cum, that is). I asked him after awhile to turn over on his back. Once again I entered him, but with his legs around my neck over my shoulders, so that I could fuck him and at the same time look into those beautiful blue eyes. He was tall, and so am I, so we kissed and fucked at the same time. I couldn've popped my load during that time, but held back to savor the wonderful experience awhile. While I had his legs over my shoulders, I also began to nibble on his blonde furry legs and on the edges of his big boy feet. There was a bonding that took place during these moments as we were making love that I have rarely found recently, and I found myself being grateful for every single moment to be inside this boi. And so we began the dance of male bonding in earnest. Finally, I turned him back over on his stomach and entered him from behind above. It was then that I decided it was time to pound, and the more I pounded, the deeper grew his moans. Indicating that I was about to pop my load, he told me "Oh yes, man, shoot your load inside me!" so after a minute of heavenly fucking, my load boiled up from my balls and screaming out the head of my dick into his hot tight willing assguts....again and again....shooting teaspoons of my male DNA as far inside him as I could. It seemed like that it would never stop, and I didn't want it to. But my blonde God bottomboi about then started clenching his ass muscles around my cock and moaning louder, and began shooting his hot load beneath us on the sheets of the bed....milking the last drops of oozing cum from my cock in the process. We collapsed on the bed, with me on his back still having my cock buried in his butt. We laid there for a few mintues, kissing and rubbing against each other for awhile. God, life was good that night.

Pt2 Your ad is posted and you feel the rush of anticipation, and some doubt of who will reply or if anyone will at all. You have your email open in one tab and open another and decide to check out xtube. You do a search for anon bareback and start watching some videos of me fucking raw and primal. Your own cock is throbbing with a need of its own, you start to play with your hole thinking how you want to be the bottom in the scenes you are watching. It all looks so hot to you, but you know how afraid you are to think about another man entering you bare. You check your email tab and see that there are three emails, your heart starts pumping as you look at them. Opening the first one you read "Still looking?" And nothing else. The second is a younger guys with stats that sound impressive, but no pic to back it up. You open the third and start to read, guy your age looking for his first experience with another guy, wants to take it slow. Also wants to make out and maybe some oral. As you are reading you see another email in your inbox. You quickly open this one and find its a guy a little older than you. About the same build, but bigger cock with a picture to prove it. Your heart is racing over this one and you have clicked reply before you even realize what you are doing. Fingers flying over the keyboard asking if he's looking for what you described in the ad. And if looking for tonite. You click send before the big head starts telling you what to do. You immediately start clicking refresh on your email expecting instant gratification. Other emails pop in, but you ignore them, looking for his reply to you. A minute or two goes by and you see a reply from him. Yes he is looking for anon dark room. The thought really turns him on, he also really needs to cum badly tonite. He asks where you are staying. Also wants to know if you want safe or bareback. You hit reply and tell him the hotel name and general location, pausing on the last question. You think for a few minutes, then just start typing. Love the thought of Bareback and would love to try it, but concerned about catching something. You admit you are married and really want feel what a real cock feels like, but are afraid. Your body is shaking a little as you hit send. You again start the refresh of your email. Knowing it will take some time for a reply, or you might not even get one at all if what you said turns him off. But his reply takes even less than the first. He tells you that he normally only plays safe, but would love to feel his cock in a nice hole without the condom. He understands your concerns and will leave it up to you. He knows where the hotel is and lives about ten minutes away. You click reply again and your fingers hover over the keyboard fighting an inner battle of which way to go. You know what you want! You know you won't be satisfied! You start typing that you really want Bareback and want to know what it's like to have a cock in you without the condom on. You click send before you can stop yourself. Less than a minute goes by this time and his reply is in your inbox. He says okay lets do it bareback and he's ready to come now, just tell him okay. You heart is pounding now, the thought of him fucking you has you so excited and nervous all at the same time, you click reply and type okay clicking send without even thinking about it. You push the laptop away and think to yourself, this is it, you just set up the fantasy you have always wanted. You look at your hands and they are shaking with the nerves going through your body. You look back at the laptop and see he has replied. You open the email and it says. "On my way"

When I was in the military I really did find myself in a situation where the two sides of my personality did not match at all. On the one hand, I was a professional and very focused on my job. I pushed the thought of being gay out of my head as much as possible and did my best to fit in. This wasn't a simple matter of being in the closet. It was a matter not only of preserving my career but also potentially of preserving my life (there was actually a soldier killed by his roommate in my brigade while I was on active duty because the roommate had thought he was coming on to him). On the other hand, when I did get an opportunity to get away, I'd run wild, going on road trips to cities well away from where I was stationed and hitting gay bars, sex clubs, baths and all kinds of other places men like to fuck around. Ultimately, the two sides couldn't coexist, and the fact that I'm posting here rather than sitting in Afghanistan right now ought to tell you which side won with me. I see two things with your situation here: First, I suspect you're kind of doing what I did here. Trying to repress your sexual desires in the name of responsibility which leads them to manifest in extreme ways. One possibility you might consider is finding a mean between the two and living a life of some integrity. It's OK to be a little irresponsible even if you have great responsibilities like raising kids. And it's also OK to have a sex life that you'll find satisfying too. Second, speaking as a guy who has HIV, I think you really should look at the effect becoming infected with HIV would have objectively. One thing it would not do is prevent you from being an active part of your kids' upbringing. With the current treatments available, there's no reason to expect to have anything less than a reasonably normal life span. And as you already know, the kind of casual contact common between parents and children carries no risk whatsoever of infection. Where would it have an effect? Obviously on any relationship with your wife or girlfriend (assuming you still have one or the other). I'd be taking precautions to protect her now, as it sounds like you're already getting into some risky behavior. And sooner or later you're going to have to have that conversation with her about your sexuality (and also about your status, if and when you do test positive). Or you will if you're to have your integrity. Depending on the age of your kids, there may not be any reason at all to tell them what's going on. Certainly young children should not be forced to come face-to-face with adult problems like this one. Which makes it the responsibility of you and their mother to work out a way to protect them. Assuming you do eventually convert, I'd suggest that that's information your kids don't really need until they're adults, unless you become ill (which is highly unlikely assuming you're getting tested regularly).